Josh Hilden's Blog, page 15

Everybody’s Working For The Weekend Part 3 – “The Dutch”

In the summer of 1994 when I left Michigan and returned to the Miami Valley of South West Ohio I had five hundred dollars, a car, a place to live, and nothing else. The night before I left my dad and stepmother didn’t talk to me beyond pleasantries, I talked to my girlfriend who I couldn’t visit because of her parents, and my friends took me out for one last night of fun before everything changed. I hit the road the morning after my 18th birthday at five o’clock and arrived at my grandparent’s house before nine.

I wanted to curl up and die.

For the first week I did absolutely nothing. I didn’t look for work, I didn’t contact any of my old friends from when I used to live there before, and I didn’t call anyone on Michigan other than my girlfriend who I knew wouldn’t be my girl much longer. I probably would have just stayed in bed until became one of those guys Richard Simmons has to come rescue with a forklift and a camera crew if it wasn’t for my grandmother,

Isn’t it always my grandma?

Grandma had gone back to work after I moved out of her house. She didn’t need to work, before he was injured my grandfather was a long distance truck driver and made good money, but inactivity after my baby brother started school was driving her crazy. She was hired at the local Meijer before it open and worked there for more than a decade before her own injury and the bullshit way the corporation treats their employees forced her to stay home.

What did you say? You’re not from the Midwest and have never heard of Meijer’s? Well I’ll forgive you because even if you think you’ve heard of Meijer’s what you’ve probably heard of is Fred Meijer’s a similar but completely unrelated enterprise out west. Let me give this to you in a nutshell then we can get back to the story of my life working for the Dutch.

Meijer is a Michigan based retail company founded in the 1930’s by Hendrik Meijer a Dutch immigrant in Grand Rapids. I’ve always posited that Hendrik escaped the Low Countries with a fist full of cash one step ahead of fascist elements. That or he was escaping Jew who hid his affiliation and spent the war years supporting the resistance from the safety of the Great Lakes region of North America. Either way I’m sure my suppositions are a million times more interesting than the truth.

Meijer was Wal-Mart before there was a Wal-Mart.

That’s really all you need to know about the company. The parallels between the two over the decades has me more than convinced that for a long time they ripped each other off for ideas and strategies. While Meijer will never be the global or even national powerhouse Wal-Mart is it is a regional force to be reckoned with. As of this writing there are more than two hundred Meijer’s locations spread over five states (Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Kentucky) and in the interests full disclosure I should tell you my wife is a manger at one of our local locations and has twenty years with the company. We met almost a year into my tenure there at first we hated each other, then we were friends, then we were together. That’s all I need to say about that in this installment.

Oh yeah, we never fucked at work, her rule not mine.

Grandma took me in one night to meet the Night Store Manager Leo a big and I mean giant Canadian man. He gave me a job on the spot because he liked my grandma a lot. I was hired onto the third shift Building Services crew. Sounds cool right? Sounds like I’d be building walls, fixing machinery, and glazing windows right?

Yeah no, in reality I was a Janitor. It was in working for the Dutch that I fell into my first career in the Custodial Arts. I’m not even fucking around with one exception all of my relevant jobs from 1994 until the end of 2014 revolved around the cleaning up after people and being treated like a servant.

Wow twenty years… I need a second for that to register.

Okay on with the tale. I hated working third shift, I hated cleaning up after people, and I hated fucking mouth breathers who shopped at two in the morning. What did I like about working the night shift at a super store? The people I worked with were some of the most interesting I’ve ever known.

There was the Native American fella named Joe with a chip the size of Texas on his shoulders. The fat asshole named Rick who’d “Fallen and hurt his back” three years prior and was in the process of suing the company. The lawsuit was settled after ten years for less than fifteen thousand dollars. There was Jimmy, a guy my age who I’d actually gone to Junior High with and who was obsessed with cars and video games. There was Tom the ex Vietnam vet dwarf manager with gimp leg who if you believed him, killed a lot of commies back in the day.

And finally there was Mike.

What can I say about Mike… he was the single most unique human being I’ve ever known. The son of an alcoholic and a schizophrenic and pushing fifty when I first met him he captured my imagination. He was crass, perverted, lazy, suffered from PTSD even though he was only a clerk in Nam, a sober alcoholic, and in the end one of the loneliest people I’ve ever known too. When I left Meijer’s for the first time (yeah you read that right) two years and four months after I was hired Mike was the only person I actually missed.

Some really amazing things happened during my tenure working for the Dutch. There was the monster rat living in the outdoor garden center we spent weeks trying to kill or capture. There were the monthly air rifle hunts in the store for birds and the one lady who tried to call the cops on us for it. And there was the girl, not gonna name names, who I may or may not have gotten frisky with during the midnight hours.

Why did I quit?

There were three reasons. The first was most of the people I liked were gone. Tom had quit six months prior, Jim was prompted out of the store, Leo quit due to never disclosed circumstances but heard it was a pay dispute, and Karen and I were married so I wasn’t losing her. The second was the Night Store Manager. I considered Jim Walters to be the worst boss I ever had for less than a year, more on that in the next installment. The beady eyed petty little know it all made life impossible for just about everyone under his thumb. I know for a fact more than one person had to seriously fight the urge to punch him in the mouth. He and I locked horns on day one of his tenure and the tension did nothing but ratchet up.

In the end he defeated me.

I freely admit it. In December of 1996 I quit my job with no other prospects, the one and only time I ever did that in my entire life. I was twenty years old, a new husband, a new father, and living on something less than subsistence wages. Even with all of that I up and quit. Thirty eight year old Josh wants to beat the shit out the twenty year old selfish little prick.

But I did it and for four months we lived on my wife’s eight dollars an hour.

In the end I took three things with me from Meijer’s and only one of them was good. I found my wife, that’s the good one in case you needed me to point it out to you. I gained a lot of skill in the realm of commercial cleaning which pretty much railroaded me in one direction when it came to finding work. And finally I walked away feeling for the first time in my working life that I was a failure… it wouldn’t be the last time either.

– Josh

Everybody’s Working For The Weekend Part 2 – “Nothing can kill the Grimace

When we moved from Wayne to Belleville I was forced to quit my job working for Al. I didn’t particularly love that job, except for the stolen porn and Mt. Dew, but I’d gotten used to having some spending money. Then when we were forcibly relocated like a family of Jews hiding in Antwerp discovered by the Nazi’s. Suddenly I was living in a house on an industrial road as opposed to the honest to Odin post WW2 neighborhood I’d been assured we would stay in if I moved in with dad and the stepmother. So I was stuck in yet another strange town, going to yet another strange school, no money, no transportation, and my friends were all miles away.

That summer I lived off of what money I had saved and the $50.00 that my grandparents gave me for my 16th birthday. I remember receiving a phone call from my aunt, the one that told the entire family that I was gay after I confided in her that I was bi after I tried to kill myself … but that’s another story, she proceeded to rip me a new asshole for spending the fifty dollars instead of saving it and told me that I was an ungrateful little shit and a bad grandson. Later she, much like a few other choice members of my family, claimed that she didn’t remember any of it because of the drugs.

So fucking typical of my family.

So when I realized my living situation was permanent I had dad drive me to the local McDonalds and I filled out an application. It was a surreal experience, the restaurant manager was in and she looked at my application and immediately gave me an interview. She zeroed in on my experience at Al’s and seemed skeptical when I told her that he would give me a glowing recommendation. After a short break during which she called Al’s I was hired on the spot.

McDonalds was the first job where I was given responsibility and I found that I liked it and that I had a taste for it. I worked there for almost exactly two years and within the first year they had made me a crew trainer and I was given more hours than any of the other high school students. After a short stint at the drive through and at the counter where it was learned that I was not necessarily “people friendly” I was never taken from the grill area except on the weekends when I was the maintenance man. When I was in the grill I was in charge and for the last six months I worked there I was one of the youngest crew chiefs in the company.

I loved working at McDonalds. Not the job, the job was complete shit, but the people. They were the greatest group of people I’ve ever worked with. Fuck I had fun, we played around, there were many pranks played on one another, there were more hookups amongst employees there than anywhere else I have ever worked. There was a couple that met there and every night when we closed they disappeared into the back for fifteen minutes … Thor only knows what they were doing.

I was never a stud and most of the time I was dating one person or another, for a fat kid I never lacked for company. But there was one incident that I’ll relate. There was a manager working there that I was really friendly with, when I played Santa at Christmas she got on my lap … really I was a jack ass moron, who could have missed the signal of an attractive twenty two year old manager semi grinding on a seventeen year old Santa’s lap?

But the idea that she liked me never occurred to me.

She quit a couple of months later and we had her going away party after the restaurant closed. Part of the way through the party I went to the back of the building and she followed me. We talked for a few minutes and it never occurred to me that she was moving closer and closer and we did. Then she kissed me. It wasn’t the best kiss I have ever had, the first one with my wife has that honor and I find it impossible to believe that that will ever change, but it caught me off guard. After she kissed me she grinned at me and went back to the party.

I know you all want to know what happened next.

Nothing, nadda, zip we didn’t get sexy we didn’t fuck she didn’t blow me … fuck I never even touched her tiny boobs. I was too much of a pussy back then to make a move or take advantage of an obvious fucking invitation. Now, if I were single sure, but back then… fuck girls scare me now can you imagine seventeen year old Josh with a saucy older woman? Nineteen year old Josh had to be so deep in the throes of love to ignore the same fear when confronted with one Karen Isbel … and folks she had to kiss me first too.

At McDonalds I was treated like I knew what the fuck I was doing for the first time in my entire life. Dad would drive me and pick me up until I was able to buy my own car, which was about four months later. But there was one day when dad had to work an early shift and I was opening. I asked the stepmother if she would drive me and she said yes. That morning she spent the entire time telling me that if my dad wouldn’t drive her drug addicted thief of a second son who was hiding out with us to his job then she shouldn’t have to drive me. Bear in mind that I asked her and not dad and that I’d never stolen anything from her or really, even in retrospect, been much of a problem to her. She was going to use any opportunity to fuck me. I thought at the time that she was just doing it because she was a bitch but later I realized one very important thing, the stepmother just hated me.

That was the last time I EVER asked her for anything it was also the day I realized that I hated her.

When I tried to kill myself in the summer between Junior and Senior years McDonalds gave me no shit for taking a huge chunk of the summer off and welcomed me back when I returned. They were the only place I ever worked where I felt like people actually gave a shit. There are personal exceptions in other jobs (Kelly that’s aimed at you) but as a whole McDonalds seemed to give a fuck.

I didn’t want to quit the job and I’d been taking the classes to be a manager after I turned eighteen. But when things came to a head at the house and I was told I wasn’t welcome anymore I had to move. My grandparents said I could come to them and so I quit my job and moved the day after my eighteenth birthday.

Everybody’s Working for the Weekend Part 1: “The Friendly Market”

Foreword: Starting today I’m picking up an old series of essays I started back in 2012. I never intended to abandon the series but as I worked through four installments I became more depressed. I saw the story of a man who’d accomplished nothing and it left e wondering what the point if any of this was. So I set it aside and concentrated on more tangible subjects. Now three years later and a bit more secure in my career I’ve acknowledged the sirens call to pick the reins of the narrative up once more and finish it. Some of these parts have been published before but I’m editing them and punching them up a bit, but most are brand new. Also note, NONE of this will focus on my writing, this is about the menial jobs I was forced to do as I clawed my way, or stumbled my way, towards my career.



– Josh




I got my first job in the summer before I turned fifteen. I’d been living with my father and the stepmother for a year at the time and had just finished my freshman year of high school in Wayne Michigan. Some of you might know I consider Wayne my home town but I only lived there for two years. I am not going to go over my life in Wayne, or Belleville either, in this entry because they are both worthy of their own long, rambling, filth filled, and family offending offerings to you my loyal readers.

The first job was at “Al’s Friendly Market”. Al’s was a neighborhood convenience/grocery store on the corner of Annapolis and Howe. I really hope considering that Wayne is part of the vast and tightly woven Detroit Metro Sprawl that Howe Road was named for the Great Gordie Howe, the best Hockey player that ever lived … FUCK YOU WAYNE GRETZKY … I kid I kid I’m from Michigan gotta support the Wings baby! My friend Eric worked there for most of our freshman year and when one of the other guys quit he recommended me for the job.

This was my first experience in a working environment that didn’t count helping out on my grandfather’s farm on the weekends. We worked three days every week with a rotating fourth day among the two stock boys from 3:30 to 10:00 pm for $3.00 an hour. Minimum wage was $4.15 when I started working at Al’s but there was a law on the books that kids under the age of sixteen could be paid less if their parents agreed to it and if they didn’t work more than an average of twenty eight hours in a week.

The routine was simple we came in counted and sorted the returns, Michigan had and still has a ten cent deposit on beverage bottles and cans. When we were done doing that we cleaned out and restocked the expansive cooler loading the dairy, soda, and beer sections. After we finished that we were to stock and dust the shelves and then sweep and mop the entire store along with cleaning the one non public restroom.

During all of that we still had to handle any returns that came in and keep the cooler fully stocked and rotated. And let us never forget that anytime more than one black kid was in the store I was expected to follow them around and make sure that they didn’t make off with any Twinkies or condoms.

In essence I was a Clerk.

Al was a good boss most of the time but he liked to squeeze a fucking nickel till it bled. He expected you to do your job for the honestly bullshit wage he was paying but he didn’t expect you to bust your nuts in the process. As long as you weren’t standing around for hours on end doing nothing or playing your Gameboy in the restroom (ahem … Billy) he was pretty easy to get along with. His wife Mary wasn’t too bad either, she was easy to get along with but you never forgot that you were an employee and she was the boss. But still she was a decent sort.

Their kids were another matter.

Whenever Mary or Al needed a day or a shift off we had to deal with their spoiled bastard offspring. Norman was an Air Force ROTC Student at Purdue who was always perpetually thirty pounds overweight and arrogant as fuck. When he was there he ruled the store like an aloof Emir. You were beneath him unless he wanted you to do a task for him. The oldest daughter was the spoiled little princess who delighted in making fun of you with her friends and siblings in Arabic right in front of you … I mean seriously, can you blame me for pissing on her car on more than one occasion?

You can?

Well fuck you, you try working for them.

Well let’s be honest, you know show our ass and shame the devil. We, and by we I mean me because I won’t speak for anyone else, were less than rule abiding employees. Al allowed us to by pops from him at $.50 a bottle telling us that that was cost and so we felt like he was doing us a favor. We all quickly learned that cost was more like $.20 a bottle and that the bastard was not really being such a good guy. So we started stealing bottles of pop. We would buy one when we arrived for work and then lift one or two more from the cooler as the night went on. I think he always knew we were doing it but he never called us on it.

Then of course there were the porno magazines.

Every night we had to gather all of the trash in the store and take it to the dumpster behind the building. The porn rack was at ground level right in front of the little office at the front of the store. It became apparent that if we timed it right and were a little careful we could be the ultimate porno ninjas. As we emptied the office trash we would slip a couple of magazines into the large box we would use to gather the debris from around the store. There was always that instant as we went to leave the store when my heart would race … I won’t lie to you, it was a little invigorating. Then it was a simple matter to hide the magazines behind the dumpster and then pick them up as we left work.

Some of you might have be saying, “So what, it’s just porn what’s the big deal?” Well let me tell you this was way before the internet, because I am an old fuck, and being able to get hands on porn was one of the holy grails of being a teenage boy with a hard dick and no girl that would care to give you the time of day let alone allow you to share it with her … at least not if you didn’t have a car with a CD player.

There was one time I fucked up the routine. Al had two other kids, daughters, one was really little but the other was my age and her name was, still probably is, Raina. Let me just tell you I’ve always found Arab girls extremely attractive, and Raina was gorgeous. Of course she had no interest in me but she was definitely a good source of fourteen year old fantasy material. One day instead of leaving the magazine outside I took it back to the restroom to enjoy it later on. I was half of the way through taking matters “Into My Own Hands” when the bathroom door opened and there was Raina. We locked eyes and her mouth opened and her eyes widened in shock. Before I could do anything like hide my shame, drop the magazine, or fuck say “hey what do you think of this?” as I pointed at my rigid yet diminutive dick. She mumbled sorry and slammed the door shut.

So basically I lived Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I was Judge fucking Reinhold.

There was never any blowback from the incident. Hell I like to think that Raina later decided that she had had missed an opportunity to try out a chubby guy and for years after she thought about that incident as sexier much more well hung dudes gave her a better ride than my best version of “Fantasy Josh” ever could of.

But probably not.

I worked there for over a year and there dozens of stories I could probably add to this tale, and might later. But eventually my stepmother got my father to break the promise he made to me that I would go to the same school when I moved in with him and we moved to Belleville.

I quit working for Al and I think it was good thing for him. It was not to long after that the slippery old man who knows Karate and kept an illegal .44 magnum under that counter (he no shit chased some thieving fuckers down the street threatening shoot them with it one night) became the mayor of my home town. So I guess it’s not such a big deal that I spent a year lifting pops and stealing porno from him.

Although I bet he’d use the .44 on me if he knew his daughter caught me jerking it to stolen porn in the restroom … but it was still worth it.

The LGBT Frontline and my Final Thoughts of Indiana SB 101… For Now

“If we desire a society of peace, then we cannot achieve such a society through violence. If we desire a society without discrimination, then we must not discriminate against anyone in the process of building this society. If we desire a society that is democratic, then democracy must become a means as well as an end.”



- Bayard Rustin



On Thursday March 26, 2015 Mike Pence the governor of the state of Indiana signed SB 101, the so called Religious Freedom Bill, into law in a private ceremony. This is only the latest salvo from the extreme rightwing in the war for LGBT equal rights. The attempts by individual states, counties, and municipalities to limit or revoke rights from their LGBT citizens have been ramping up ever since the United States Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in June 2013 but the current round of fighting truly began during the 2004 presidential campaign.

In the beginning of the 2004 campaign it appeared there was a good chance George W. Bush would be relegated to a one term presidency. Even with a milk toast candidate like John Kerry there was a better than even chance the horrible policies of the previous four years might be abrogated to a degree.

Alas that was not to pass, and it was because of the gays.

During the 2004 campaign one Mr. Karl Rove, one of the most reprehensive national political figures of my life, concocted the modern version of the age old “The Gays Want To Rape Your Children” stratagem. To be fair Satan, I mean Rove, is a brilliant man. But so was Hitler and see how that ended?



(Yes I’m aware I Godwined this essay and I’m fine with that. Rove would have looked right at home with a red white and black arm band.)



Through a heavily monied rightwing network the Republican Party managed to make LGBT rights the wedge issue if the election as opposed to our illegal war in Iraq and the heinous things that were (and still are by the way, I’m still waiting for that CHANGE Mr. President) being done around the world in the name of the United States of America. That year saw multiple state constitutional amendments limiting the rights of their LGBT citizens. It was the biggest setback for equal rights in my lifetime.

But it was a blessing in disguise.

The blowback following the 2004 elections served to reignite the smoldering fire in the LGBT community. We and I mean we, started speaking out. Before the 2004 elections I never gave my opinion on LGBT issues outside of a small circle of family and friends for fear of outing myself. But my anger when Ohio, the place I’ve lived most of my life, but a state constitutional ban on marriage equality in the ballot I saw red. I argued against it with people who’d never realized I had a strong feeling on the issue. I didn’t come out, that had to wait eight more years, but it was the first step.

In June the Supreme Court is finally going to rule on the question of marriage equality. It’s expected that they will rule in favor of equality. This is kind of a shock considering some of the bullshit rulings the Roberts Court have issued (just Google Citizens United and McCutcheon). But just as we appear to have the next rung of the ladder in our hands a front of the war has erupted in violence.



Everything you need to know about the gay discrimination wars in 2015

By Jeff Guo February 25

Jason Moreau-McCoy, left, James Weaver and Darre Foret wave flags in support of same sex marriage outside the county probate court house in Mobile, Ala., on Feb. 9. (Dan Anderson/EPA)

In January, the Supreme Court signaled that the gay wedding wars may be reaching their final days. The court agreed to rule on whether bans on gay marriage — still on the books in more than a dozen states — are constitutional. That decision, which has the potential to make gay marriage legal everywhere, will be the last word on the issue for a while.



But the fight over gay rights continues in conservative corners of the country, where legislators are advancing laws that would, intentionally or not, ensure that gay people can be refused service, fired or evicted simply for being gay.



There are no national laws protecting against these forms of discrimination, so the matter has been left up to individual communities. A growing list of cities, for instance, are passing gay anti-discrimination ordinances, which has raised the ire of their more conservative state houses.



In this year’s legislative session, similar bills in several states are striking back against gay rights.



The proposed state laws fall into two categories. Some are anti-anti-discrimination measures that would prevent a state’s cities or counties from creating protections for gay people. A prime example is SB 202 in Arkansas, which became law Monday and will go into effect later this year. Arkansas and Tennessee are the only two states in the nation with such restrictions in place, which bar jurisdictions from exceeding state law on policing discrimination. Since both states allow gay discrimination, these laws require all their local communities to allow it, also.



In Arkansas, the town of Eureka Springs appears to be the only town with gay non-discrimination ordinances that would be struck down once SB 202 comes into effect. But the bill has spurred places like Conway and Little Rock to consider enacting such ordinances, as symbolic gestures and perhaps also as kernels for potential future lawsuits against SB 202. (UPDATE: Conway’s council passed a gay anti-discrimination ordinance protecting city employees last night.)





On Monday, legislators in West Virginia introduced a nearly identical version of the Arkansas law. HB 2881 would roll back gay discrimination protections across the state, affecting towns like Harpers Ferry, Morgantown, and Charleston, the capital, all of which have LGBT anti-discrimination ordinances on their books.



This also comes after the five-person town of Thurmond, W.Va., voted unanimously Feb. 9 to protect LGBT people from discrimination. “The big message was just, from the smallest town to the biggest town, West Virginians believe in equality,” one of the townspeople told The Post.



In another, more classic category are laws that would protect people who discriminate against gay people on religious grounds. There has been tremendous legal murkiness concerning when and in which contexts religious rights trump gay rights. These religious freedom bills would have religious rights triumph, always.



Yesterday, Indiana’s Senate passed SB 101, a broadly written bill that would shield anybody from laws infringing on the practice of their religion.



The bill’s authors argue that it is not an anti-LGBT law, but SB 101 has alarmed gay rights groups. They say the law would permit anyone to discriminate against gay people.



“We have seen this over and over — bills that say they are about protecting one thing when the real goal is to target and discriminate against LGBT people, with vast implications for everyone else,” Lambda Legal declared in a news release yesterday.



In Georgia, two very similar religious freedom bills were introduced in mid-February and they are currently in committee. Former Georgia attorney general Michael Bowers recently gave a venomous assessment of both. Not only are the bills “unequivocally an excuse to discriminate,” he wrote in a brief obtained by the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, but they also give broad license for anyone not to follow the law if they say it violates their religious beliefs.



“It is not just bad public policy; it is ill-conceived, unnecessary, mean-spirited, and deserving of a swift death in the General Assembly,” he wrote.





It’s an ironic turn for Bowers, who in the 1980s argued — and won — a landmark Supreme Court case upholding Georgia’s anti-sodomy statute. Lawyers today tend to regard Bowers as one of the worst decisions ever made by the court, and it was overturned 17 years later in Lawrence v. Texas.



Bowers wrote the brief for Georgia Equality, an LGBT rights group, who hired him to give his legal opinion on the bill. He told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that despite the pivotal role he played in denying gay rights in the 1980s, he believes these religious exemption bills are terrible. “This isn’t about gay marriage,” he said. “It’s not about religious freedom. It’s about the rule of law. And I feel really, really strongly about it. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you it’s a disaster.”



In Arkansas, the religious freedom bill HB 1228 passed the house and is under review by the Senate judiciary committee. The Presbyterian and Episcopal churches in the state have both come out against the measure.



“We must not legally empower dangerous rhetoric into action so that some religiously minded individuals might feel justified in their treatment of homosexuals and others who differ from themselves,” the Presbytery of Arkansas said in a statement to the Arkansas Times.



(UPDATE: The Senate judiciary committee rejected HB 1228 on a 3:3 vote today. Both Wal-Mart and Gov. Hutchinson criticized the bill on Tuesday. The HRC also launched an ad campaign against it today.)



In North Carolina, where gay marriage was legalized in October, lawmakers are proposing a narrower bill that would let government officials refuse to perform marriages or issue marriage licenses if they have religious objections. Yesterday, SB 2 advanced in the Senate on a 32 to 16 vote.



But bills like the one in North Carolina tend to be the exception. Broadness is a theme in most of the current anti-gay legislation, which may in part be a strategy to defend against legal challenges. The Supreme Court has tended to be skeptical of laws that target a specific group, so many of these bills speak only in the most general terms.





The vagueness can have unintended consequences. In January, a Republican state senator in Texas introduced a bill that would strip a vast array of powers from local jurisdictions. Unlike the anti-anti-discrimination laws in Arkansas and Tennessee, SB 343 does not limit itself to discrimination laws. It would prohibit any local government from having a law or regulation that is “more stringent that a state statute or rule.”



“The bill aims to curtail local laws that hinder free enterprise and businesses or hamper liberty, counter to the free market, limited government policies enacted by the state,” Sen. Don Huffines’s spokesperson told the Texas Observer.



Under any reasonable reading of SB 343, the bill would make it extremely difficult for counties and towns to pass laws, and hamper local control. Concern about the loss of local control was one reason that Arkansas Gov. As a Hutchinson declined to sign that state’s anti-anti-discrimination bill, SB 202, which became law without his signature. (Hutchinson also refused to veto the bill.)



In Texas at least, the bills that gay rights groups are condemning don’t seem to be going very far. SB 343 has not made it out of committee, nor have religious freedom measures HJR 55 and SJR 10.

In a nutshell these laws will, in theory, protect the religious rights of individual business owners from doing things against their deeply held and sincere religious beliefs. The theory behind it has been put into play in the Roberts Supreme Court Hobby Lobby ruling, Google it because I’m done dissecting the piece of shit. Suffice it say that was ruling which has given everything else traction. In essence a business in the state of Indiana (not a government service… yet) can now deny anyone they deem against their beliefs, discrimination has been made legal in Hoosier State.

Yeah, let that sink in.

Now both sides are freaking the fuck out, and when I say both sides I mean the five percent fringe on both sides that yell the loudest and get the most press. On the right the vocal minority is screaming about birthday cakes with dead baby scarifies on them for Satanists and how this about FREEDOM (their kind). On the left it’s about how if you own a business you have to do whatever your customer wants so shut the fuck up and smile asshole, and FREEDOM (their kind).

What about the rest of us.

What about me, what do I think?

I think the laws are a bathhouse reach around. They are worded to sound noble but the intent is to backdoor old school Jim Crow laws against non Christians. I have had people I respect try to convince me I’m wrong about this but I don’t buy it. The wording is too vague and open to interpretation form me to think anything dark thoughts about this law, and the Federal one it’s modeled on (Google the Restoration of Religious Freedoms Act RRFA, now that one has some chilling implications and it’s been the law of the land for over 20 years).

And yet I get why people are split. I don’t want the government telling me that I can and cannot do something I want within reason. Laws are needed and I KNOW that the minority must be protected from the tyranny of the majority, I think we fought a tiny war where that was one of the issues. So rights MUST be protected.

But there’s such a thing as going too far.

Should a Jewish Deli or Muslim restaurant be forced to serve ham because a customer demands it? Should a Hindu restaurant be forced to serve beef? Should a Christian business be forced to open on Sundays? I think we can all agree the answer to these and equivalent situations are a common sense “No”.

Now let’s get a little more nuanced, or at least nuanced for me.

Let’s take the universally loved scenario of a bakery, any bakery in America, and let’s say the owners are devote Christians. Are you with me so far? Good, now let’s say a nice gay couple comes in one day and they want this bakery to make them a cake for their wedding. This devote bakery owner isn’t comfortable with it because they believe it’s wrong by their faith. I’m okay with that, I think they’re narrow minded and bigoted but that’s they’re problem.

Now for the proverbial monkey wrench in the works.

Say that same nice gay couple comes in to the same bakery run by the devote Christian in order to by a couple of cupcakes. The devote bakery owner thinks gays are bad because his magic book tells him they are and he refuses to serve them and tells them to leave his store. These people did nothing wrong they are simply denied service because of who they are.

That’s discrimination and that’s the part I will never be swayed on.





- Josh

I’m a Bisexual Part 10 “Gen Con Vs. Discrimination”

“The legislation, SB 101, is about respecting and reassuring Hoosiers that their religious freedoms are intact. I strongly support the legislation and applaud the members of the General Assembly for their work on this important issue. I look forward to signing the bill when it reaches my desk.”

- Indiana Governor Mike Pence ( R )



There are a handful of things which help to define my character. I am a father, a husband, a writer, a bisexual man, and I am a gamer. If you have anything more than a passing acquaintance with my work I’m sure this does not come as a surprise but it needs to be repeated before we dive head first into the pool without looking to see if it’s filled with water, worms, or broken glass.

I’m Josh, that’s how I roll.

Looked at objectively things are bright for the LGBT community in terms of our future in America. Alost all states have marriage equality, it’s looking as if the Supreme court will be making it the law of the land in June (go fuck yourself Scalia), and community after community have passed laws protecting the Civil Rights of their LGBT citizens.

Grand Rapids, have I told you lately I love you so hard?

Of course there are dark spots. Roy Moore is playing a second rate McGovern down in Alabama, the Duggar cult made sure Fayetteville remained a place where it was safe to be a queer beater and chaser, and the Hoosier state is determined to finish the job Jan Brewer (former Governor of Arizona) wussed out on. As of this writing Mike Pence, the Hoosier Governor, is practically coming in his khakis to sign the “Religious Freedom Bill” (SB101) into law.

Indiana House passes controversial religious freedom bill

By Sarah Pulliam Bailey March 23
Indiana Gov. Mike Pence speaks at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on Feb. 27 in National Harbor, Md. Pence is expected to sign a controversial bill into law that would allow business owners to decline to provide services for same-sex couples. (Alex Brandon/AP)
A controversial religious freedom bill that would protect business owners who want to decline to provide services for same-sex couples was passed by Indiana’s State House today, the latest in a larger battle over same-sex marriage and rights.

The bill reflects a national debate over the dividing line between religious liberty and anti-gay discrimination. The question of whether the religious rights of business owners also extend to their for-profit companies has been a flashpoint as part of a larger debate over same-sex marriage. For instance, the bill would protect a wedding photographer who objects to shooting a same-sex wedding.

Religious Freedom Restoration Act opponents prepare to deliver about 10,000 letters stacked in two red wagons to the office of Indiana House of Representatives Speaker Brian Bosma, R-Indianapolis, at the Indiana Statehouse in Indianapolis on Monday, March 23, 2015. Supporters say the legislation would protect religious freedoms, but opponents say it would allow discrimination against gays and lesbians. (AP Photo/The Indianapolis Star, Charlie Nye)
The Indiana House voted 63 to 31 to approve a hot-button bill that will likely become law, and Republican Gov. Mike Pence said he plans to sign the legislation when it lands on his desk. The state Senate’s version of the bill would prevent the government from “substantially burdening” a person’s exercise of religion unless the government can prove it has a compelling interest and is doing so in the least restrictive means.

Supporters say the measure supports religious freedom while opponents fear discrimination against LGBT people. The push towards this kind of legislation comes as same-sex marriage becomes legal across the country. In September, a federal court ruling struck down bans on same-sex marriage in Indiana and other states.

Jason Collins, an athlete who publicly came out as gay after the 2013 NBA season, will be in Indianapolis as a Yahoo Sports analyst covering the NCAA Final Four and publicly questioned the bill.

Indiana’s religious freedom bill is modeled on a 22-year-old federal law called the Religious Freedom and Restoration Act, which played a key role in the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby decision in 2014. The court ruled that closely held corporations with religious objections do not have to comply with health-care requirements that they cover contraceptives like Plan B.

A growing list of cities are passing gay anti-discrimination ordinances, which has raised the ire of more conservative state houses. Several states have adopted laws related to religious freedom. Utah recently passed a bill aiming to protect people who are LGBT from employment and housing decisions based on their gender identity or sexual orientation, while still protecting religious institutions that oppose homosexuality. The bill did not deal with whether a business can deny services because of religious convictions.

In debating the measure Monday, lawmakers on both sides of the issue cited the Bible to defend their positions, the Indianapolis Star reports.

Republican Rep. Bruce Borders spoke about an anesthesiologist who declined to anesthetize a woman in preparation for an abortion. According to the Star, Borders said he believes the Bible’s command to “do all things as unto the Lord” means religious believers need to be protected not just in church but in their workplaces as well.

Democratic Rep. Ed DeLaney argued that Jesus served all people.

“My prophet had dinner with hookers,” he said, according to The Star. “Was he blessing them? I hope so.”

What this means, in the proverbial simplistic nutshell, is that businesses can pretty much say if their “Deep and Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs” demand it they can discriminate at will. This isn’t a new thing, many states have tried to push similar laws into effect and for 22 years the United States has acted under the Religious Freedom Restoration Act and until very recently most people had no idea what the hell that was.

Religious Freedom Restoration Act

Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993
Great Seal of the United States
Long title An Act to protect the free exercise of religion.
Acronyms (colloquial) RFRA
Enacted by the 103rd United States Congress
Effective November 16, 1993
Citations
Public Law 103-141
Statutes at Large 107 Stat. 1488
Codification
Titles amended 42 U.S.C.: Public Health and Social Welfare
U.S.C. sections created 42 U.S.C. ch. 21B § 2000bb et seq.
Legislative history
Introduced in the House as H.R. 1308 by Chuck Schumer (D-NY) on March 11, 1993
Committee consideration by House Judiciary, Senate Judiciary
Passed the House on May 11, 1993 (passed voice vote)
Passed the Senate on October 27, 1993 (97-3, Roll call vote 331, via Senate.gov, in lieu of S. 578) with amendment
House agreed to Senate amendment on November 3, 1993 (without objection)
Signed into law by President William J. Clinton on November 16, 1993
United States Supreme Court cases
City of Boerne v. Flores
Burwell v. Hobby Lobby
v t e
The Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993, Pub. L. No. 103-141, 107 Stat. 1488 (November 16, 1993), codified at 42 U.S.C. § 2000bb through 42 U.S.C. § 2000bb-4 (also known as RFRA), is a 1993 United States federal law aimed at preventing laws that substantially burden a person's free exercise of religion. The bill was introduced by Congressman Chuck Schumer (D-NY) on March 11, 1993 and passed by a unanimous U.S. House and a near unanimous U.S. Senate with three dissenting votes and was signed into law by President Bill Clinton. It was held unconstitutional as applied to the states in the City of Boerne v. Flores decision in 1997, which ruled that the RFRA is not a proper exercise of Congress's enforcement power. However, it continues to be applied to the federal government - for instance, in Gonzales v. O Centro Espirita Beneficente Uniao do Vegetal - because Congress has broad authority to carve out exemptions from federal laws and regulations that it itself has authorized. In response to City of Boerne v. Flores, some individual states passed State Religious Freedom Restoration Acts that apply to state governments and local municipalities.

This law reinstated the Sherbert Test, which was set forth by Sherbert v. Verner, and Wisconsin v. Yoder, mandating that strict scrutiny be used when determining whether the Free Exercise Clause of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, guaranteeing religious freedom, has been violated. In the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, Congress states in its findings that a religiously neutral law can burden a religion just as much as one that was intended to interfere with religion; therefore the Act states that the “Government shall not substantially burden a person’s exercise of religion even if the burden results from a rule of general applicability.” The law provided an exception if two conditions are both met. First, the burden must be necessary for the “furtherance of a compelling government interest.” Under strict scrutiny, a government interest is compelling when it is more than routine and does more than simply improve government efficiency. A compelling interest relates directly with core constitutional issues. The second condition is that the rule must be the least restrictive way in which to further the government interest. The law, in conjunction with President Bill Clinton's Executive Order in 1996, provided more security for sacred sites for Native American religious rites.

Background and passage
See also: American Indian Religious Freedom Act and Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act

This tipi is used for Peyote ceremonies in the Native American Church, one of the main religions affected by the Religious Freedom Restoration Act
The Religious Freedom Restoration Act applies to all religions, but is most pertinent[dubious – discuss] to Native American religions that are burdened by increasing expansion of government projects onto sacred land. In Native American religion the land they worship on is very important. Often the particular ceremonies can only take place in certain locations because these locations have special significance. This, along with peyote use are the main parts of Native American religions that are often left unprotected.

The Free Exercise Clause of the First Amendment states that Congress shall not pass laws prohibiting the free exercise of religion. In the 1960s, the Supreme Court interpreted this as banning laws that burdened a person's exercise of religion (e.g. Sherbert v. Verner, 374 U.S. 398 (1963); Wisconsin v. Yoder, 406 U.S. 205 (1972)). But in the 1980s the Court began to allow legislation that incidentally prohibited religiously mandatory activities as long as the ban was "generally applicable" to all citizens. Also, the American Indian Religious Freedom Act, intended to protect the freedoms of tribal religions, was lacking enforcement. This led to the key cases leading up to the RFRA, which were Lyng v. Northwest Indian Cemetery Protective Association (1988) and Employment Division v. Smith, 494 U.S. 872 (1990). In Lyng, the Court was unfavorable to sacred land rights. Members of the Yurok, Tolowa and Karok tribes tried to use the First Amendment to prevent a road from being built by the U.S. Forest Service through sacred land. The land that the road would go through consisted of gathering sites for natural resources used in ceremonies and praying sites. The Supreme Court ruled that this was not an adequate legal burden because the government was not coercing or punishing them for their religious beliefs. In Smith the Court upheld the state of Oregon's refusal to give unemployment benefits to two Native Americans fired from their jobs at a rehab clinic after testing positive for mescaline, the main psychoactive compound in the peyote cactus, which they used in a religious ceremony. Peyote use has been a common practice in Native American tribes for centuries. It was integrated with Christianity into what is now known as the Native American Church.

The Smith decision outraged the public. Many groups came together. Both liberal (like the American Civil Liberties Union) and conservative groups (like the Traditional Values Coalition) as well as other groups such as the Christian Legal Society, the American Jewish Congress, the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty, and the National Association of Evangelicals joined forces to support RFRA, which would reinstate the Sherbert Test, overturning laws if they burden a religion. The act, which was Congress's reaction to the Lyng and Smith cases, passed the House unanimously and the Senate 97 to 3 and was signed into law by U.S. President Bill Clinton.

Applicability
The RFRA applies "to all Federal law, and the implementation of that law, whether statutory or otherwise", including any Federal statutory law adopted after the RFRA's date of signing "unless such law explicitly excludes such application."[9]

Challenges and weaknesses

The Peyote cactus, the source of the peyote used by Native Americans in religious ceremonies.
In 1997, part of this act was overturned by the United States Supreme Court. The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of San Antonio wanted to enlarge a church in Boerne, Texas. But a Boerne ordinance protected the building as a historic landmark and did not permit it to be torn down. The church sued, citing RFRA, and in the resulting case, City of Boerne v. Flores, 521 U.S. 507 (1997), the Supreme Court struck down the RFRA with respect to its applicability to States (but not Federally), stating that Congress had stepped beyond their power of enforcement provided in the Fourteenth Amendment. In response to the Boerne ruling, Congress passed the Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act (RLUIPA) in 2000, which grants special privileges to religious land owners.

The Act was amended in 2003 to only include the federal government and its entities, such as Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia. A number of states have passed state RFRAs, applying the rule to the laws of their own state, but the Smith case remains the authority in these matters in many states.

The constitutionality of RFRA as applied to the federal government was confirmed on February 21, 2006, as the Supreme Court ruled against the government in Gonzales v. O Centro Espirita Beneficente Uniao do Vegetal, 546 U.S. 418 (2006), which involved the use of an otherwise illegal substance in a religious ceremony, stating that the federal government must show a compelling state interest in restricting religious conduct.

Post-Smith, many members of the Native American Church still had issues using peyote in their ceremonies. This led to the Religious Freedom Act Amendments in 1994, which state, "the use, possession, or transportation of peyote by an Indian for bona fide traditional ceremony purposes in connection with the practice of a traditional Indian religion is lawful, and shall not be prohibited by the United States or any state. No Indian shall be penalized or discriminated against on the basis of such use, possession or transportation."

Applications and effects
The Religious Freedom Restoration Act holds the federal government responsible for accepting additional obligations to protect religious exercise. In O'Bryan v. Bureau of Prisons it was found that the RFRA governs the actions of federal officers and agencies and that the RFRA can be applied to "internal operations of the federal government."

As of 1996, the year before the RFRA was found unconstitutional as applied to states, 337 cases had cited RFRA in its three year time range. It was also found that Jewish, Muslim, and Native American religions, which make up only three percent of religious membership in the U.S., make up 18 percent of the cases involving the free exercise of religion. The Religious Freedom Restoration Act was a cornerstone for tribes challenging the National Forest Service’s plans to permit upgrades to Snow Bowl Ski Resort. Six tribes were involved, including the Navajo, Hopi, Havasupai, and Hualapai. The tribes objected on religious grounds to the plans to use reclaimed water. They felt that this risked infecting the tribal members with “ghost sickness” as the water would be from mortuaries and hospitals. They also felt that the reclaimed water would contaminate the plant life used in ceremonies. In August 2008, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals rejected their RFRA claim.

In the case of Adams v. Commissioner, the United States Tax Court rejected the argument of Priscilla M. Lippincott Adams, who was a devout Quaker. She tried to argue that under the Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993, she was exempt from federal income taxes. The U.S. Tax Court rejected her argument and ruled that she was not exempt. The Court stated: "...while petitioner's religious beliefs are substantially burdened by payment of taxes that fund military expenditures, the Supreme Court has established that uniform, mandatory participation in the Federal income tax system, irrespective of religious belief, is a compelling governmental interest." In the case of Miller v. Commissioner, the taxpayers objected to the use of social security numbers, arguing that such numbers related to the "mark of the beast" from the Bible. In its decision, the U.S. Court discussed the applicability of the Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 1993, but ruled against the taxpayers.

The RFRA figured prominently in oral arguments in the case, Burwell v. Hobby Lobby, heard by the Supreme Court on March 25, 2014. In a 5-4 decision, Justice Alito stated, that the RFRA did not just restore the law as before Smith but contains a new regulation that allows to opt out of federal law based on religious beliefs.

Now before you say some asinine version of;



“Well Josh, that will be knocked down as unconstitutional so just calm down and stop making me feel uncomfortable for kinda wanting this to be a thing because the gays make me feel icky and wrong.”



Or,



“It’s my right as a Murikan to deny service to whoever I want even though that used to be the law and it ended up in near revolution and with a lot of colored folks hanging from trees and a church filled with little dead black kids (amongst thousands of other terroristic crimes). Also I don’t care that public businesses benefit from the infrastructure and services my taxes support either because queers, fags, dykes (at least the ugly ones), spikes, niggers, gooks, rag heads, and anyone else not white enough for me are the enemy!!!”



Please allow me to tell you to go fuck yourself, never buy any of my books, and delete yourself any social media site we are “Friends” on. I want nothing more to do with you and we’d be better off forgetting that one another coexist on the same level of the Tower.

Are we 100% clear?

Good, moving on.

One of the reasons this has stuck so firmly in my craw, besides the obvious moral reasons, is because I go to Indiana every year. We, as a family, allow ourselves one no debate vacation every year. We attend Gen Con in Indianapolis faithfully, it’s the tent pole of our year and other than Christmas the thing I look forward to the most, and some of the best memories I have with my kids in the last few years took place there.

I wondered how Gen Con would react to the inevitable passage of SB101. Here’s a sample of their reply

“Last year, Gen Con hosted more than 56,000 attendees from more than 40 different countries and all 50 states," Swartout wrote to the governor. "Gen Con proudly welcomes a diverse attendee base, made up of different ethnicities, cultures, beliefs, sexual orientations, gender identities, abilities, and socio-economic backgrounds. We are happy to provide an environment that welcomes all, and the wide-ranging diversity of our attendees has become a key element to the success and growth of our convention.



"Legislation that could allow for refusal of service or discrimination against our attendees will have a direct negative impact on the state's economy."

Right now the gamer community is in the process of shitting their collective pants. For the most part gamers and industry members have taken a stance in line with Gen Con. This didn’t surprise me, if I’ve learned one thing about gamers we tend to be a relatively inclusive lot of misfits and malcontent geeks, what did surprise me was the pushback.

I was shocked to see how many gamers, some of them I know personally, who have an issue with this. Please know even though I don’t want to name them I’m not talking about friends I sometime debate issues of politics with if I debate with you we’re cool. I’m not talking about people with different opinions having a discussion I’m talking about a significant segment of the community that seems more or less okay with legal discrimination.

I’m more than a little taken aback.

Do I think this will all eventually be overturned and relegated to the trash heap of history with “Coloreds Only” signs?

Yes, yes I do. But I think what we need is more people making a stink. We need people to get on their real and metaphorical rooftops to shout down the hate and discrimination. We need to keep owning this fight because I demand my children have the right to bring their children into a better world.





- Josh

Opening The Box of Busted Stories

“Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can’t fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.”

—William S. Burroughs





When a story just doesn’t work there’s only one option, you have to kill it.

Now before you start screaming at me just let me finish the thought. I don’t mean when you hit a hard spot or you encounter a bit of the old writers block that you take your story out back and put a bullet in its head. That would be insanity. I am a firm believer in setting those stories aside, writing something completely different, and then coming back to the trouble spot with fresh eyes. Nine times out of ten that does the trick with no muss or fuss.

Then there are the busted stories.

When I was 14 my father got me a foot locker for Christmas. Actually it’s a cube roughly two feet by two feet and is garishly anointed with the colors and symbols of the University of Michigan. For several years I primarily used it as my porn bunker.

Don’t know what a porn bunker is?

Damn kids, fine I’ll explain but pay attention because I’m only going to do this once. In the bad old days before the internet we had to get our porn in one of the physical mediums. Either books, magazines, photos (usually Polaroid’s you damn hipsters), or video cassettes. The problem with all of these forbidden objects, aside from acquiring them in the first place, was storing them where they would be both safe from parental discovery and yet remain convenient for firing off some knuckle children at a moment’s notice. My big yellow, sorry maize, and blue box was the perfect option.

That was until I hit 16 and didn’t care if they found my porn or not. That was when the porn, the glorious dirty physical porn, made the migration from the box to my nightstand. I mean really where the hell else in the years before the smart phone and tablet computer should an honest teenager have kept their porn? That’s right, we kept the smut as close to the bed as possible and near the tissues!

So what happened to the box?

I didn’t get my first computer, a clunky slow as hell behemoth, until 1998. Until then all of the writing I did, and I mean all of it, was done by hand. But this was before I had the courage to let friends read my stories let alone try and have them published so each and every one of them were effectively dead on arrival. As they died, either finished or unfinished they found their way into the Box of Busted Stories.

Every writer above a certain age has one, or many, of these boxes. Mine currently live in my basement nestled beneath the stairs alongside one of my dozens of comic book long boxes. Inside are hundreds of short stories, dozens of novellas, and three unfinished novels. It’s a glorious sight and some of the worst writing I’ve ever read in my entire life… I love every inch of it!

Right now you’re probably thinking some version of, “Hey Josh, that’s cool and everything, but what does any of this have to do with anything?”

Well keep you panties on if you’re wearing any and put some on if you’re not, I’m getting there. Once I switched to computer based creation I closed the physical Box of Busted Stories and added no more. Then I opened the virtual Box of Busted Stories. The first iteration was on a bright green 3.5x5 inch floppy and the current is a folder in my Drop Box backed up on an external hard drive.

I know EVERY writer has one of these.

The box contains story ideas, notes, and of course stories that died before they could reach that point of self sustainability. Once a story ends up in the current version of the Box of Busted Stories I’m done with it, it never comes back to life. These ARE the stories I’ve taken out behind the barn and told to look at the flowers. This is a law of my creative reality.

Or at least it was until last week.

I’d just finished a novella and was enjoying the post first draft high when I decided to open The Box. I don’t know what made me do it. I almost never skim the contents of the Box of Busted Stories. I mean seriously who the hell wants to be reminded of all their failures? But I did and I’m glad I broke my own rules, just this once.

To put it all in perspective, and to quote a wise and powerful man;



"Chicken arise! Arise chicken! Arise!"

- Billy Witch Doctor



In the trunk was a very old story called “Down The Old Road” (Seriously before I was actually publishing my titles were so pretentious they now make me want to vomit) a post apocalyptic alien invasion story I began in 2011. I got about ten thousand words into it and threw it down, the clunky disjointed tale was too much for me to handle back then so I did what I always did when things got hard back then. I ran away and back to the world of zombies. I remembered really digging the bones of the story so last week I opened that file back up and gave it a read through.

Whoa boy was my writing bad back then.

But grammar and structure aside the core of the tale was still strong. Yeah it needed a lot of help but maybe I’d consigned the story to a Carolesque fate too soon. So last week I did the unthinkable, I took a story out of the Box of Busted Stories and put it back on my working pile.

First I needed to edit and repair what was already there. It wasn’t fun, this was harder than a rewrite or an edit. This was more like tearing a house down to the foundation and studs and then starting over. Once I was finished with phase one the story went from just shy of ten thousand words to a hair over six thousand.

So yeah, I did some major renovations.

After the foundation was fixed I went back to writing and as of this moment I am closing in on twenty thousand words. The book, now retitled “The Long Night Book 1: Night Falls” will probably clock in around twenty five thousand words when I send it to my editor. I like to think of it as Lord of the Rings meets Hell Comes to Frogtown meets Independence Day set almost two centuries after the apocalypse.

Yes I know how that sounds… it sounds amazeballs!

So what was my point in all of this besides talking about my new project? I recommend all writers stop and look in their own Box of Busted Stories. Yeah most of what you’ll find deserves to be in there with the bullet still lodged in the back of their heads. But I’m willing to bet there are a few dusty unpolished gems in there. Take an hour every year check them out, you might be happy you did.

Unless it’s still your porn bunker… if that’s the case you have issues and probably need tissues.









- Josh

I’m a Bisexual Part 9 “Being LGBT on the Internet and Speaking Up in the Post Gay World?”

“All I Did Was Quote From theScriptures.”

- Pat Robertson (Professional Asshat) on his view on Homosexuality



I have been told ad nausea in the last 2+ years that we are living in a “Post Gay” world and all of whiney LGBT (not the term they use) need to shut the fuck up. That most of the people screaming these things are hetero, white, religious, and male is an irony I feel little need to point out. Yes we are making great strides toward equality but no we are not in some “Post Gay” world. There is still a long way to go. Don’t believe me just Google ‘Recent Anti Gay’… scary right?

This brings me to my most recent clash, albeit in a minimal way, for LGBT respect. I promise I try very hard not to feed the trolls. In my younger years I was always up for a good internet flame war or debate. There are tales and myths of the epic debates someone who used to go by the handle of Citizen Lazlo participated in. But decades and grey hairs coupled with distaste for arguing just to argue has tamped that fire in my belly… usually.

I’m a member on several message boards, yes kids they still exist and all of us old fogies hang out on them and talk about grunge music, Babylon 5, and the dancing baby. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN! On one of these message boards, the one I’ve been a member of longer than any of the others (seriously since like 1997 or 1998) has a secret board called, well let’s call it Bitch & Moan or BM for short. I don’t often post on BM, like I said fighting and debate aren’t my thing anymore, but a couple of weeks ago I broke my own prohibition.

Recently on BM the topic of Kate Brown, the first openly bisexual governor in American history, came up. As anyone who reads my stuff on any regular basis knows I have a special warm and gooey spot in my heart for Kate Brown, despite not agreeing with some of her points, and I’ve been doing little dances of joy.

So of course I had to chime in on the subject.

Someone asked why her position was important. He didn’t mean it in the normal way trolling asshats do when they ask the question, he was truly curious as to why Governor Brown was significant. I made a reply, a section from the essay I wrote about it, and thought I wouldn’t have anything else to say. I mean seriously what was there for any reasonable person to bitch and moan about? I was used to assholes so really I could ignore them.

Then someone I used to respect responded.

This individual, let’s call him FAT, is a poster on this message board who I tended to give weight to. I only agreed with him some of the time but FAT made clear arguments and it never felt like he was trolling when he debated. I actually enjoyed reading his posts. Sometime last year he disappeared from the message board for a period and when he returned there seemed to be a fundamental change in the way he posted. It was still clearly the same person based on style and vocabulary but the tenor was skewed.

Still, I was shocked when he decided to target me. Below is the body of our exchange with some parting shots he made after I bowed out. Read, absorb, enjoy, and then catch my follow up at the end.

ME: It means something to the LGBT community in general and the bisexual community specifically. Everyone wants to see someone like themselves in positions of authority or influence and we're no different. It's a big deal to us and I have issues with attempts to marginalize it.

Barack Obama, Harvey Milk, Sally Ride, Sandra Day O'Connor, and Thurgood Marshall are names that will be remembered two hundred years from now. Sadly Kate Brown will likely end up as a footnote with Crispus Attucks, Hiram Revels, and Rebecca Latimer Felton as significant but not wall shattering American’s.

But you know what?

That’s okay, that’s pretty good company to be remembered in.


FAT: If it doesn't matter, then why do we have a thread about it? If those who support gay rights want to improve those rights, they need less of this noise, and more stuff about men and women like Tim Cook.

Tim Cook is the CEO of the largest cap company in the world. The most valuable entity on planet earth. It turns out he's gay. But no one cares, and it's not a deal. Why? Because he's making everyone who owns shares of apple rich. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters. Especially if you consider the idea that he may well be more powerful then President Obama.

This kind of story is useless. She didn't earn the job, she tripped into it. If she does well, the credit lies with the guy who got elected and had his girl friend **** up. If she does poorly, his fault.

Tim on the other hand, was awesome when Steve Jobs was there, and he's grown the company in ways Steve-O never could have imagined. That's the facts that count.


ME: Umm... she was elected the states secretary of state (Second highest position in the Oregonian Government) as an open bisexual which was a big deal. And if you think the LGBT community hasn't made a giant deal about Tim Cook coming out I question where you're getting your info from.

So I'll reiterate, to US it is a big deal.


FAT: But to us, it isn't. The world of business doesn't care about Tim Cook's boy friend or lack thereof. We care about the MONEY. Your group and the religious right are fighting this war in your imaginations that exists only for you.

If we hold that sexual identity has no bearing on one's ability, then it has no bearing on one's ability. It's a non-factor. It does not matter.


ME: Laudable, not how the real world works, but laudable.


FAT: As long as you keep treating these things like they've overcome a disability, it's going to be treated as such. Go up to the first post and replace "bi-sexual" with Polio victim and you have FDR's story. Bleh. It's not a disability, it just a thing. An unimportant thing. And the real world works exactly like this. Apple stock didn't drop through the floor the day after Cook came out. Apple's worth twice as much as Exxon Mobile. That's the only fact that matters.


ME: Okay I'm out, have fun with your view. Your wrong but it's not my job to convince you of it.

FAT: Only in your mind.

At this point I left the conversation but he kept making stupid comment after stupid comment. Here are a few of the best.

FAT: (On the accretion that LGBT people want to be treated as if we’re disabled) Meh. It's only a disability so long as one treats it like such. Homo-sexuals have had a significant effect on the world and they will continue to do so. Investing into "We're victims and we need the big tough straights to save us from the mean Christians" crap is just that. She's bi-sexual, her boss was a waste of space so now she has his job, it's not a deal.


FAT: (On our… entitlement??? Seriously I’m not sure, he rambles) So run for office. Change laws. Help Log cabin Republicans find their stride. Were gay Americans more than just a democrat voting bloc that frankly the DNC could care less about (recall the President's position in 08, and the circumstances of his "change" of opinion). Help the parties see that they want to cultivate these votes. They'll change.

It's not a disability. It's just some noise. My getting a scholarship wasn't a victory for straight people. It's just some noise. Her falling into this job isn't a victory for GLT community. It's just some noise. Or to call back to an earlier post, Tim Cook isn't a gay guy who's great at making money, he this guy who's great at making money.

And happens to be gay.

People are more than their sexual identity. If we want others to treat everyone else as people first and the other stuff as noise, then we need to act that way first.


FAT: (regarding the rose colored world he lives in when he’s called on it) It's a nice place. I like it here. If you want to live here, you can. Just stop excepting limitations and 'have to because'.

See, in your world, Freddy Mercury was a gay man who was a great singer. He had to hide his sexuality because the world couldn't accept FAT and he died, albeit indirectly from that.

In my world, Freddy was the greatest singer who ever lived. He had trouble in his life, but everyone has trouble in their lives, his was unique to FAT, but everyone else's is too, he died the way all rock and roller's do.

The gay vote TENDs to go to the Democrats because the Democrats are SLIGHTLY less douche bags about it then the Republicans. That's a call for gay rights advocates to look at ways to draw the GOP into supporting them. I think Stan Smith of American dad had a pretty good bit on that idea. Again, recall what our president's position was on gay rights when he took the job, and how his position didn't change until he needed votes and support.


FAT: (About Mathew Sheppard) Mathew was unique, not special. Kids his age die every day. It's happening right now. Kids all over the world are being killed. Over stupid ****. Killed because bigots dislike them on the grounds of their gender, their religion, their skin color and fifty other dumb ass reasons. People being murdered is the horrible part, the whys they were murdered is just noise.


I don’t get it. I honestly don’t understand how a person who has over the years shown he has critical thinking and reasoning abilities can actually take these stances. I am not building up to some grand announcement of verdict on the situation. There will be no grand proclamation or conclusion for that matter. I am honestly confused and disappointed.

FAT’s reaction did have one positive effect on me. I’m now more convinced than ever that LGBT people of every stripe and our allies have to continue speaking out. Now that keeping us from having equal rights is a lost cause, the people on the other side are turning to a far more dangerous and insidious forms of attack. We are now the targets of a campaign of marginalization.

Don’t believe me?

Just keep track of how many times you hear we’re in a “Post Gay” world.



- Josh

Favorite New Thing 4: “O’Reilly’s Fall”

"I’ll tell you why [religion is] not a scam in my opinion. Tide goes in, tide goes out never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the tide goes in."



- Bill O’Reilly


This installment of My New Favorite Thing is thick with schadenfreude… you’ve been warned.

I’ve said it before and I will say it for the rest of my life, I love politics and the twenty four hour news cycle. Like a housewife in the 1980’s who planned her entire day around the Soap Opera schedule, and let’s be honest a hell of a lot of men too, I follow it all. Or let’ put it into more modern terms since the Soaps are dying, all of you people who love to watch horrible reality shows are no different than me. I’m not ashamed of that and I’m not particularly proud of it either, it’s just the way I like to entertain myself. I can even pinpoint when I really became an addict, it was the Iran Contra hearings in the 1980’s.

The Iran–Contra affair

The Iran–Contra Affair also referred to as Irangate, Contragate or the Iran–Contra scandal, was a political scandal in the United States that occurred during the second term of the Reagan Administration. Senior administration officials secretly facilitated the sale of arms to Iran, which was the subject of an arms embargo. They hoped that the arms sales would secure the release of several US hostages and use the money to fund the Contras in Nicaragua. Under the Boland Amendment, further funding of the Contras by the government had been prohibited by Congress.

The scandal began as an operation to free the seven American hostages being held in Lebanon by a group with Iranian ties connected to the Army of the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution. It was planned that Israel would ship weapons to Iran, and then the United States would resupply Israel and receive the Israeli payment. The Iranian recipients promised to do everything in their power to achieve the release of the U.S. hostages. The plan deteriorated into an arms-for-hostages scheme, in which members of the executive branch sold weapons to Iran in exchange for the release of the American hostages. Large modifications to the plan were devised by Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North of the National Security Council in late 1985, in which a portion of the proceeds from the weapon sales was diverted to fund anti-Sandinista and anti-communist rebels, or Contras, in Nicaragua.

While President Ronald Reagan was a supporter of the Contra cause, the evidence is disputed as to whether he authorized the diversion of the money raised by the Iranian arms sales to the Contras. Handwritten notes taken by Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger on December 7, 1985, indicate that Reagan was aware of potential hostage transfers with Iran, as well as the sale of Hawk and TOW missiles to “moderate elements” within that country. Weinberger wrote that Reagan said “he could answer to charges of illegality but couldn’t answer to the charge that ‘big strong President Reagan passed up a chance to free the hostages’”. After the weapon sales were revealed in November 1986, Reagan appeared on national television and stated that the weapons transfers had indeed occurred, but that the United States did not trade arms for hostages. The investigation was impeded when large volumes of documents relating to the scandal were destroyed or withheld from investigators by Reagan administration officials. On March 4, 1987, Reagan returned to the airwaves in a nationally televised address, taking full responsibility for any actions that he was unaware of, and admitting that “what began as a strategic opening to Iran deteriorated, in its implementation, into trading arms for hostages”.

Several investigations ensued, including those by the U.S. Congress and the three-person, Reagan-appointed Tower Commission. Neither found any evidence that President Reagan himself knew of the extent of the multiple programs. Ultimately the sale of weapons to Iran was not deemed a criminal offense but charges were brought against five individuals for their support of the Contras. Those charges, however, were later dropped because the administration refused to declassify certain documents. The indicted conspirators faced various lesser charges instead. In the end, fourteen administration officials were indicted, including then-Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger. Eleven convictions resulted, some of which were vacated on appeal.[13] The rest of those indicted or convicted were all pardoned in the final days of the presidency of George H. W. Bush, who had been vice-president at the time of the affair.

When the situation came to light all hell broke loose.

Just to put it on front street before someone asks me when I was younger I supported the Reagan administration in their actions, I was a scary Neo Conservative when I was young, but those views have done a complete flip in the last twenty years. Eventually I did my due diligence on what the United States did in Latin America and it made me ashamed to be an American. But that is an essay for another day.

The congressional hearings were televised on all three networks. Yes kids the myths and fables are true, a one time dinosaurs roamed the earth and back in the day there were only three broadcast networks, well four if you counted PBS. All daytime programming and back in the day that was talk shows, game shows, and soap operas was preempted by the hearings.

I was kinda pissed, I loved me some General Hospital and The Price is Right.

My great grandmother was taking care of us then and she had the hearings on. This was the same grandmother who spent my early childhood reading to me from her scared and beautiful bible, giving me my lasting love of the bible stories, and whose action after the slut shamming of my cousin inspires me to this day. The first day I tried to ignore them, on the second day I caught myself watching snippets of them, and by the third day I was hooked.

In the end the resolution was lukewarm bullshit but to me that’s not the important part. The big takeaway was my newfound love of politics and news. I remember being an irritating little shit after that pestering adult family members and teachers to explain what was happening in the world to me. I have to give props to each and every one of them they humored me and gave me the best information they could.

Of course along with CNN (when it was respectable), the Wall Street Journal (before Murdoch raped it), the BBC (I love you Brits so damn much) and C-SPAN I discovered tabloid journalism. My hands down favorite was Inside Edition hosted by the one and only Bill O’Reilly.

Inside Edition

Inside Edition is a thirty-minute American television syndicated news magazine program. The show was originally a mix of tabloid crime stories, investigations, and celebrity gossip. It is one of the original “Big Three” American tabloid-style TV newsmagazines of the early 1990s — the other two were A Current Affair and Hard Copy — which fiercely competed with each other and is the only one of the three still on the air.

The first anchor of the program was David Frost, who was replaced after approximately three weeks with Bill O’Reilly. The current anchor is former Today anchor Deborah Norville, who took over for O’Reilly in 1995. Steve Kamer has been the show’s announcer since its inception.

In content the show might have been marginally better than its competitors but that wasn’t why I loved it so much. No matter how much it pains me to admit it today I loved Bill O’Reilly. The man is intelligent, articulate, and engaging on camera. He might well be one of the most skilled TV hosts on television. I am ONLY talking about his skills and delivery not the content of his message.

Stop screaming at me, love him or hate him it’s true.

I watched the show religiously until 1995 when O’Reilly left to host his own show on the brand new FOX News Channel. I tried watching the show with its new host and while it was decent for what it was with O’Reilly gone the show lost it’d fire for me. So like so many other people I migrated over to FOX News and started watching the O’Reilly Factor (originally titled The O’Reilly Report).

The O’Reilly Factor

The O’Reilly Factor, originally titled The O’Reilly Report from 1996 to 1998 and often called The Factor, is an American television talk show on the Fox News Channel hosted by political commentator Bill O’Reilly, who often discusses current controversial political issues with guests. As of 2014, the O’Reilly Factor is the most watched cable news program in the United States.

Format

An example of The O’Reilly Factor’s Talking Points Memo

The O’Reilly Factor is generally prerecorded, though on rare occasions it airs live if breaking news or special events are being covered. (i.e. presidential addresses that occur during prime-time) It is usually taped between 5:00 and 7:00 PM Eastern Time and airs weekdays at 8:00 PM and 11:00 PM. Some guests are interviewed before the “live to tape” period and are slotted in the program as appropriate.

O’Reilly and his producers discuss potential topics twice a week. A producer will research the story and book guests for O’Reilly, and an information packet will be produced with possible angles for O’Reilly to explore. For each show, O’Reilly, with the assistance of his staff, will produce a script with the words for the “Talking Points Memo” and “Tip of the Day” segments, and points of discussion and questions for the guests that will appear on the program. On February 2, 2009 the show launched in high definition and moved to the previous studio used by the Fox Report.

Radio talk show host Laura Ingraham is the current regular guest host, though Mike Huckabee, Juan Williams, Monica Crowley, Eric Bolling, and Greg Gutfeld have also filled in.

For the first few years, really until about the time starting with the Monica Lewinsky scandal and culminating with the 2000 presidential election kicking into full swing, I was a loyal Facto viewer. I didn’t always agree with the things O’Reilly said, and that’s a good thing with anyone delivering news, but I enjoyed the show even more than his work on Inside Edition.

Then things changed.

Okay maybe they didn’t change on the show much or if at all. Maybe it was more me changing after becoming a husband and a father and realizing the world was not black and white and Libertarianism, the old school kind not the new school whack job bullshit, was a pipe dream on par with Communism. Save your hate its true so deal with it or don’t but don’t bitch to me about it. I started seeing things I used to ignore or explain away.

O’Reilly is a bully.

O’Reilly has no actual beliefs or views of his own.

O’Reilly hates poor people.

O’Reilly is really an old school racist.

O’Reilly is a liar.

As George W. Bush came into power, and really he was a figure head for a group of businessmen and politicians, and the country moved further right it only got worse. Maybe the backlash against O’Reilly would have happened years sooner if not for what is without the defining moment of my generation.

On a sunny September morning on live TV the Towers fell.

After that the country I knew and loved morphed into something I no longer recognize in many ways. The charge for more governmental control and a global war was spearheaded by FOX News with O’Reilly at their head and the American people, terrified and looking for leadership, followed blindly. Even I was caught up in it for a few years.

The old saying about power corrupting and absolute power corrupting absolutely is one of the truest axioms ever coined. O’Reilly, as the face of the most watched cable news network backed by more money than a small nation and directly engaged in defending the administration, ascended. For more than a decade there was nothing the man couldn’t get away with saying. Don’t believe me? Here are just a few of O’Reilly’s worst quotes.


>“The civil rights industry will not take on black crime problem because it would require black culture to change.”



“When was the last time you saw a public ad telling young black girls to avoid becoming pregnant?”



“I don’t care about the Constitution!”



“I want to quote this— “On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and to my country and obey Scout law”, on and on and on and on. I mean, God’s in the first 10 words. So – why did you have to tell them you were an atheist if you didn’t have any trouble reading the oath? Why didn’t you just shut up?”



“And I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s Restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship. It was the same.”



“There wasn’t one person in Sylvia’s who was screaming, “MFer, I want more iced tea.” You know, I mean everybody was— it was like goin’ into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb, in the sense of people were sitting there and they were ordering and having fun, and there wasn’t any kinda craziness at all.”



"True Causes Of Poverty… Poor Education, Addiction, Irresponsible Behavior, and Laziness"



After the financial collapse of 2008 and the election of Barrack Obama as president it only got exponentially worse. There are so many horrendous quotes to pull from the last seven years that I couldn’t decide on them. If you really want to experience the vitriol and hate for yourself just Google it, but make sure you haven’t just eaten. For almost twenty years O’Reilly was a seemingly unstable Juggernaut almost a force of nature.

It’s safe to say in the years since about 1998 I’ve gone from loving O’Reilly, to tolerating O’Reilly, to feeling stupid for having admired O’Reilly, to finally hating O’Reilly. It’s reached the point in the last two years that just hearing his voice makes me want to hunt hobos in order to release my stress. I have a list of three people who if I ever meet them in real life I would have to seriously fight the urge to punch them in the throat.

Bill O’Reilly is number two.

On February 19, 2015 karma finally caught up with Bill O’Reilly. Maybe as a response to the lies told by NBC anchor Brian Williams (research it yourselves boils and ghouls because this thing is long enough as it is) the news site Mother Jones did something no other organization had ever done in a serious way, they declared war on O’Reilly. In the article Bill O’Reilly Has His Own Brian Williams Problem they took on the king of Cable News.

*NOTE: The O’Reilly entry on Wikipedia is huge and I am not pasting it here. That being said go read it because it’s a damn fascinating piece.*


Bill O’Reilly

Controversy

George de Mohrenschildt Claim
In his bestselling 2013 book, Killing Kennedy, and on Fox and Friends, O’Reilly claimed he was knocking at the front door of George de Mohrenschildt’s daughter’s home at the moment Mohrenschildt committed suicide and that he heard the shotgun blast. This claim has been disputed by former Washington Post editor Jefferson Morley, who cites audio recordings made by Gaeton Fonzi indicating O’Reilly was not present in Florida on the day of Mohrenschildt’s suicide.

In March of 1977, a young television reporter at WFAA in Dallas began looking in to the Kennedy assassination. As part of his reporting, he sought an interview with the shadowy Russian professor who had befriended the Oswalds upon their arrival in Dallas in 1962. The reporter traced George de Mohrenschildt to Palm Beach, Florida and travelled there to confront him. At the time de Mohrenschildt had been called to testify before a congressional committee looking into the events of November, 1963. As the reporter knocked on the door of de Mohrenschildt’s daughter’s home, he heard the shotgun blast [Emphasis added] that marked the suicide of the Russian, assuring that his relationship with Lee Harvey Oswald would never be fully understood. By the way, that reporter’s name is Bill O’Reilly.

(Josh NOTE: I have never inserted commentary into the Wiki pulls I add to these essays but this one time I’m making an exception. Several days ago CNN released audio of recordings of Bill O’Reilly proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that O’Reilly was in Dallas when the incident occurred.)

War coverage claims
On February 19, 2015, David Corn from Mother Jones broke a story reporting a collection of inconsistencies of O’Reilly when recalling his experience covering the 1982 Falklands War. On April 17, 2013, O’Reilly said on his show “I was in a situation one time, in a war zone in Argentina, in the Falklands, (…)”. In his book The No Spin Zone, he wrote “You know that I am not easily shocked. I’ve reported on the ground in active war zones from El Salvador to the Falklands.” On a 2004 column on his website he wrote: “Having survived a combat situation in Argentina during the Falklands war, I know that life-and-death decisions are made in a flash.” Corn claimed O’Reilly was not in the Falklands, but in Buenos Aires and that no American journalist was in the Islands during the conflict. Also he pointed out that according to O’Reilly’s own book The No Spin Zone, he arrived in Buenos Aires soon before the war ended.

On February 20, 2015, O’Reilly said on his show “David Corn, a liar, says that I exaggerated situations in the Falklands War” and that he never said he was on the Falkland Islands. O’Reilly went on to describe his experience in a riot in Buenos Aires the day Argentina surrendered. David Corn replied that they didn’t claim O’Reilly “exaggerated” but rather that there were contradictions between his accounts and the factual record, and that the 2013 clip from his show proves O’Reilly did in fact say he was on the Falklands. David Corn told The New York Times “The question is whether Bill O’Reilly was stating the truth when he repeatedly said that Argentine soldiers used real bullets and fired into the crowd of civilians and many were killed.”

On September 2009, during an interview he said he covered the riots in Buenos Aires on the day Argentina surrendered. This is consistent with Mother Jones report claiming that he was in Buenos Aires but not in the Falkland Islands, but not with his own 2013 claim that he was “in the Falklands”.

During an interview with The Blaze, O’Reilly said “And if that moron [Corn] doesn’t think it was a war zone in Buenos Aires, then he’s even dumber than I think he is.” This characterization by O’Reilly is contradicted by seven journalists who were in Buenos Aires at the time and were CBS colleagues of O’Reilly, and who challenged his description of the city as a “combat situation” or “war zone.”

The fallout from the coverage generated by the questioning of O’Reilly’s Falklands War coverage saw claims made by O’Reilly made regarding his reporting in El Salvador and Northern Ireland questioned. Writing in his 2013 book Keep it Pithy, O’Reilly stated: “I’ve seen soldiers gun down unarmed civilians in Latin America, Irish terrorists kill and maim their fellow citizens in Belfast with bombs.” In 2005 O’Reilly claimed to have “seen guys gun down nuns in El Salvador” and in 2012 said “I saw nuns get shot in the back of the head”. O’Reilly and Fox News clarified that he had been shown images of the murdered nuns and Irish bombings but was not an eyewitness in either case.

As of the writing of this essay (3-4-2015) O’Reilly has suffered no appreciable consequences for his actions. FOX appears to be backing their top dog regardless of the shots fired across their bow. Despite the increasingly vicious and obviously enjoyed attacks they have yet to really distance themselves from their thoroughbred.

But the ship is definitely sinking. More lies have been uncovered and many past and present journalists have turned on the polarizing O’Reilly and called him on his bullshit.

What has O’Reilly’s response been?

Mostly all he’s done is make himself look even worse. He has called people liars and guttersnipes. He’s threatened to put people in the “Kill Zone” and to come at them with everything he has. Basically he’s made things a hundred times worse than it already was.

I fucking love it.

I am more than aware that my love of his swift kick in the ass is unseemly. But I don’t give a shit. When a blowhard, bullying, patronizing asshat get’s their comeuppance I take glee in it. I don’t care what side of a debate they are in. I would LOVE to see someone find proof that Bill Mahr eats puppies but until that happens I will enjoy it and feel no guilt… now on to Laura Ingraham.



- Josh

I’m a Bisexual Part 8 “I’m A Male Bisexual Atheist Feminist…”

“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”



- Pat Robertson (Professional Hypocrite)







Okay so this one is not a story of some bisexual adventure or how my sexuality has been a negative factor in my life, on the contrary the ramifications of this have all been tremendously positive. This one is about being an atheist feminist male in early twenty-first century America.

Now before you start asking;



“Josh, what the hell does any of this atheist feminist nonsense have to do with your desire for a three way with John Barrowman and Dame Helen Mirren?”



Trust me there is a correlation between my bisexuality and my firm atheist feminist stance. The tree things area complicated tripod that hold my beliefs aloft. If any one of them were removed from my life I would be rendered crippled and teetering in my identity.

So without further adieu let’s delve into yet another reason why segments of my family really want nothing to do with me and I conversely don’t care what they think.







Feminist Josh



First let’s tackle the subject of feminism and why I’ve never really been anything but a feminist. Yes I, like all men, went through a stage as a boy where I thought girls were icky and alien but I never thought they were less than me. Don’t believe me? Ask some of my multitude of female cousins. But this is a Josh essay and before we get to the meat of this piece how about I rock you with yet another Wikipedia definition, this one on Feminism.

Why?

Because my friends and fiends despite m level of output I tend to be a lazy… lazy man.





Feminism

A feminist generally self-defines as advocating for or supporting the rights and equality of women.


Feminist theory, which emerged from feminist movements, aims to understand the nature of gender inequality by examining women's social roles and lived experience; it has developed theories in a variety of disciplines in order to respond to issues such as the social construction of sex and gender. Some forms of feminism have been criticized for taking into account only white, middle-class, educated perspectives. This led to the creation of ethnically specific or multiculturalist forms of feminism.



Feminist movements have and continue to campaign for many women's rights, including the right to vote, to hold public office, to work, to fair wages or equal pay, to own property, to education, to enter contracts, to have equal rights within marriage, and to have maternity leave. Feminists have also worked to promote bodily autonomy and integrity, and to protect women and girls from rape, sexual harassment, and domestic violence.



Feminist campaigns are generally considered to be main force behind major historical societal changes, particularly in the West, where they are near-universally credited with having achieved women's suffrage, gender neutrality in English, equal pay for women, reproductive rights for women (including access to contraceptives and abortion), and the right to enter into contracts and own property.



Feminist advocacy is mainly focused on women's rights, but author bell hooks, among others, argue for the necessity for it to include men's liberation, because men are also harmed by traditional gender roles.

Let me boil that all down for you before I continue. I believe women and men are intellectual and emotional equals. Are there physical differences between men and woman? Of course there are, only a myopic jackass would say that men and woman are physically the same.

Are you a myopic jackass?

That being said I’ve personally known more than a few women who can kick serious physical ass. There are also many female public figures that put 98% of men to shame. Don’t believe me? Google Female Marines, or Female Cross Fit, or my personal favorite just Google Christmas Abbot and tell me how she’s a “Weaker Cut of Meat” as a jackass North Carolina politician recently said about women.

Let me be very clear. I KNOW a woman can do any job a man can do, not every woman and not every man but women in general. If you don’t like that… stop reading and go away.

As I’ve said before I was raised by women. My mother and my maternal Grandmother did the bulk of shaping me. I am not marginalizing the roll my father and step grandfather played in my upbringing but the truth is was mostly around woman and more heavily influenced by them.

I was never told or shown that women are lesser than men. My grandmother was a once divorced strong woman who worked fulltime and never showed weakness. The first time I saw my grandmother cry, at her father’s funeral, I was gob smacked. My mother, for all of her problems, is likewise a strong independent woman who never backed down from a fight. I was always a feminist but never knew the word.

What does being a feminist mean to me in real life?

Some of you are not going to like my answer but these are the things I believe. So if you have a problem with it… well there’s a door and you’re free to use it at any time.

A woman and a man should always be judged on their merits not whether they have a wee-wee or a who-ha. A woman should NEVER be excluded from a job because they are a woman, if they can do it they can do it and everyone else should shut the fuck up. I don’t care it the job is CEO, Construction Worker, Infantry Soldier, Fire Fighter, or President of the United States of America (run Liz run!) if she’s capable that’s all that matters.

That part probably didn’t anger too many people, I sure as hell hope this one does.

The government of the United States of America has an obligation to legislate equal pay for equal work no matter sex, age, religion, or orientation. Right here is where all of the so called Men’s Rights Advocates (What fucking joke) are gonna start crying. Please allow me to tick off the list.



The pay gap is a myth! – Complete bullshit, things are better than they used to be (especially for the millennial generation) but it’s still a major issue
Pay equity is unfair to men – n today’s economy, most families have two wage earners, and if one of them is paid too little, the whole family suffers. Pay equity ensures that every worker in the family is earning what they should based on the requirements of their jobs. Also, men who work in jobs traditionally held by women will also receive pay equity adjustments.

If women want to earn more, they should choose other jobs — jobs that pay more. - More women are choosing occupations held predominantly by men, and we must continue to make these jobs more accessible to women. But society still needs secretaries, nurses, librarians and the many other occupations predominantly filled by women. Women (and men) should have the right to choose any occupation and know that they will be paid fairly for the work they do. In order to entirely eliminate segregation across occupations, one study estimated that 60 percent of all women and men would have to move to occupations dominated by the opposite sex. Such a change would obviously be very disruptive to the economy.

Women take time off from work to have children and aren’t as committed to their jobs as men so men should be paid more. - There are two things wrong with this argument. First, the vast majority of women with young children are employed. In 1996, 60 percent of women with children under the age of 5 were employed. And the average work life of women today is 30 years. Second, even if women did take more time off, pay equity looks at pay for the job, not for individual workers. Pay equity studies are based on a standard pay level, such as minimum starting pay, so that how long someone has worked does not influence the results.

Some men get paid more because they have dangerous jobs or jobs which demand physical strength. - Working conditions and physical effort are two of the factors that are commonly looked at in a pay equity study. These factors are important and should be reflected in the pay for a job. But women also work in hazardous and physically demanding jobs such as nursing, that exposes workers to a variety of infectious diseases and requires lifting patients. All jobs, regardless of whether they are performed primarily by men or by women, should be paid based on the level of skill, effort, responsibility and working conditions required by the job.


Are you still with me after reading that? If you are great, if not well… there was that door glad you took it. To put it bluntly I have a very firmly entrenched on the subject of women’s rights, but maybe not in the same direction as you might be thinking.

Just like the so called Men’s Rights Movement MRM I have no use for rabid extreme feminism. What do I mean by that? There is a small but REALLY FUCKING LOUD segment of feminists who seem to think men are the cause of every bad thing that has ever happened in the history of forever. To make it worse those few women have fed the smoldering fire of the MRM assholes and the result has been a vicious little war between them with the moderates caught in the middle.

I’m not taking sides. They’re both full of shit.







Atheist Josh



Now we move on to the Atheism in my life, or more pacifically the Agnostic Atheism. Does that term confuse you? Here are the definitions of both terms, read them and then I’ll explain how I interpret being an Agnostic Atheist.

Atheist

1. A person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.



Agnostic

1. A person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience.

Synonyms: disbeliever, nonbeliever, unbeliever; doubter, skeptic, secularist, empiricist; heathen, heretic, infidel, pagan.



2. A person who denies or doubts the possibility of ultimate knowledge in some area of study.



3. A person who holds neither of two opposing positions on a topic:

Socrates was an agnostic on the subject of immortality.

adjective



4. Of or relating to agnostics or their doctrines, attitudes, or beliefs.



5. Asserting the uncertainty of all claims to knowledge.



6. Holding neither of two opposing positions:

If you take an agnostic view of technology, then it becomes clear that your decisions to implement one solution or another should be driven by need.

Here’s what I mean when I say I’m an Agnostic Atheist in as few words as possible.



Agnostic atheists are atheistic because they do not hold a belief in the existence of any deity and agnostic because they claim that the existence of a deity is either unknowable in principle or currently unknown in fact.



For a significant portion of my life I was a boy, and then a young man, of faith. But as the years went by and I started paying attention to the religious world things began to change. I’ve told the story of the public church slut shaming of my cousin when I was boy and how that put the first real cracks in my faith. I won’t rehash that one but it was a significant moment in my life. After that disgrace which sundered y family from the church we’d always attended, I started looking at all things religious with a different eye.

A more open and speculative eye.

You would think my sexuality would have been the straw which broke the proverbial camel’s back. But that wasn’t the case, when I made my first real break with religion I was still deep in the closet and hoping it was just a phase and I’d eventually grow out of it.

Haven’t we all been there?

No what killed my belief in Christianity was actually sitting down at the age of maybe 14 and reading the bible cover to cover. Then, confused by what I’d just read, I sought out an annotated version of the bible from the local library and my eyes were opened. The Bible is the most misogynistic hate filled tome I’ve ever read. In the end it was feminism coupled with my sexuality that birthed my atheism.

Need some examples on how the bible see’s women?

Genesis 3:16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.



Isaiah 3:12

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.



1 Corinthians 11:3

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.



1 Corinthians 14:34-36

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.



Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.



Colossians 3:18

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.



1 Timothy 2:11-15

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.



Titus 2:4-5

Teach the young women to be ... obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.



1 Peter 3:1

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.

I have three daughters and this tripe makes me sick. Some Christians choose to ignore these things (and the multitude of other quotes) in the text. But it’s in the damn book, a book that is supposed to be the infallible word of god. According to the infallible word of god my daughters, my wife, my mother, and my grandmother are nothing more than property.

If you believe that then go fuck yourself.

Yes I know many more Christians who ignore this bullshit than those who embrace it but if you see the bible as metaphor, allegory, or merely as a suggested guide book then we don’t have an issue. You want to use your religion to hold, hate, or fuck with anyone and we’ll have words.

That’s it. I will brook no debate on the matter.

I am an Agnostic Atheist, Feminist, Bisexual, American Man and I am proud to say that.





- Josh

A Call To Action!!!

Do you like volunteering? Do you like free books and awesome swag? Do you like getting free books and awesome swag for volunteering?

If you answered yes to any of that perhaps you would like to join the GORILLAS WITH SCISSORS PRESS STREET TEAM!

So what is the GWSP Street Team? Are we just a bunch of genre fiction freaks and geeks flinging poo at one another?

Of course not… who told you that?

No, the GWSP Street Team is an organization of volunteers dedicated to spreading the word of the great products offered by GORILLAS WITH SCISSORS PRESS. As a member of the street team you will be responsible for utilizing social media to, how can I NOT put this delicately, whore our wares wherever possible.

But what do you get out of it?

What, helping me isn’t enough? Well I agree the good feeling of helping isn’t enough. Street Team members get free digital copies of all my new releases. When new swag is created (buttons, stickers, bookmarks… etc) Street Team members get first crack. And finally when I get download codes for Audiobooks they’ll be offered to the street team first.

I’m looking for 10 to 20 members for the team and out of those volunteers I will need 1 person to handle running the team and a person to administer each of the GWSP related Facebook pages.

If you’re interested message me via social media or email me Josh@joshhilden.com and let me know.


- Josh