Keith McArthur's Blog, page 15
September 7, 2017
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: Book Review
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. By Marie Kondo.
Summary
Marie Kondo’s job is to teach Tokyo residents how to de-clutter their homes. In this book, she shares her KonMari method with the masses. The book was first published in Japan in 2011 and has since been published in more than 30 countries.
Key Takeaway
Kondo’s method is a two step process of discarding and storing:
Discarding involves making a decision on whether or not to keep each and every object in your house. To determine if you want to keep an object, hold it in your hands. If it sparks joy, keep it. If not, get it out of your home. The discarding process should happen in a very specific order: Clothes first, then books, papers, odds and ends, and finally, things with sentimental value. For another take on de-cluttering, read “Win the War on Clutter the 5B way.”
Storing involves hiding away as much as possible. Bookshelves should be in closets; dish racks should never be left on counters; your purse should be emptied completely each and every night.
What You Need to Know
Much of the book makes a lot of sense. The rest is bonkers. Kondo believes in talking to our homes and objects and listening to what they say. When she arrives at a new client’s house, the first thing she does is kneel formally on the floor and introduces herself to the house, providing her name, address and occupation.
The good news is that the more bizarre of the book are pretty entertaining. Her’s one example. The emphasis is Kondo’s:
I visited the home of a client in her fifties. As always, we started with her clothes. … But when she pulled open her sock drawer, I could not suppress a gasp. It was full of potato-like lumps that rolled about. She had rolled back the tops to form balls and tied her stockings tightly in the middle. I was speechless. … Let me state this here and now: Never, ever ball up your socks.
I pointed to the balled-up socks. “Look at them carefully. This should be a time for them to rest. Do you really think they can get any rest like that?”
Personal Impact
I tried Kondo’s method on my clothes and it was actually quite helpful! I got rid of several bags of clothes. In truth, I probably still kept too much because I wasn’t being ruthless enough on whether each object inspired joy. Our house has a lot of clutter and this book makes me want to deal with it once and for all.
Worth Reading?
Yes. This is a pretty quick read and it you’re ready to embrace de-cluttering, it will help you. Embrace what’s useful and chuckle at the rest.
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: Book review
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. By Marie Kondo.
Summary
Marie Kondo’s job is to teach Tokyo residents how to de-clutter their homes. In this book, she shares her KonMari method with the masses. The book was first published in Japan in 2011 and has since been published in more than 30 countries.
Key Takeaway
Kondo’s method is a two step process of discarding and storing:
Discarding involves making a decision on whether or not to keep each and every object in your house. To determine if you want to keep an object, hold it in your hands. If it sparks joy, keep it. If not, get it out of your home. The discarding process should happen in a very specific order: Clothes first, then books, papers, odds and ends, and finally, things with sentimental value. For another take on de-cluttering, read “Win the War on Clutter the 5B way.”
Storing involves hiding away as much as possible. Bookshelves should be in closets; dish racks should never be left on counters; your purse should be emptied completely each and every night.
What You Need to Know
Much of the book makes a lot of sense. The rest is bonkers. Kondo believes in talking to our homes and objects and listening to what they say. When she arrives at a new client’s house, the first thing she does is kneel formally on the floor and introduces herself to the house, providing her name, address and occupation.
The good news is that the more bizarre of the book are pretty entertaining. Her’s one example. The emphasis is Kondo’s:
I visited the home of a client in her fifties. As always, we started with her clothes. … But when she pulled open her sock drawer, I could not suppress a gasp. It was full of potato-like lumps that rolled about. She had rolled back the tops to form balls and tied her stockings tightly in the middle. I was speechless. … Let me state this here and now: Never, ever ball up your socks.
I pointed to the balled-up socks. “Look at them carefully. This should be a time for them to rest. Do you really think they can get any rest like that?”
Personal Impact
I tried Kondo’s method on my clothes and it was actually quite helpful! I got rid of several bags of clothes. In truth, I probably still kept too much because I wasn’t being ruthless enough on whether each object inspired joy. Our house has a lot of clutter and this book makes me want to deal with it once and for all.
Worth Reading?
Yes. This is a pretty quick read and it you’re ready to embrace de-cluttering, it will help you. Embrace what’s useful and chuckle at the rest.
September 6, 2017
Getting Love, Giving Love and Seven Facts About Me
One of the best parts about writing My Instruction Manual is hearing from all of you who are joining me on this journey to be happy, healthy, organized, connected and inspired.
It’s especially gratifying to be recognized through blogger awards. My Instruction Manual was recognized with the first-ever Star Blogger Award. The monthly award was created by the blogger behind How To Addict, who goes by “Doc.” If you’re looking for great inspirational writing, be sure to check out his blog!
My Instruction Manual has also been nominated for a handful of other blogger awards including the Real Neat Blog Award, the Blogger Recognition Award, the Mystery Blogger Award and the One Lovely Blog award.
I’m behind on recognizing all these awards, so today I want to start catching up by paying forward my nomination for the One Lovely Blog Award.
One Lovely Blog
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First, I want to thank Jo-Ann of the Inspiration Pie blog for nominating me for this award. Jo-Ann describes herself as a writer, visual artist and mother of two boys, a dog and a cat. She posts book reviews, writes about writing and shares art and photos. Read a great post she wrote recently about how authors can avoid writing crappy novels.
Rules
The rules of the One Lovely Blog Award are simple:
Thank the person who nominated you
Share 7 facts about yourself
Nominate 15 bloggers and inform them of the nomination
7 Facts About Me
This Labor Day was significant for me as it marked two decades in the workforce. I worked for one decade as a journalist at the Winnipeg Free Press and The Globe and Mail. After that, I spent eight years in social media and public relations, before starting up FanReads and My Instruction Manual.
I’m the oldest in my family and have two younger sisters. One gave me a second chance at life when she donated a kidney to me earlier this year.
I studied world religions in my undergraduate degree, not because I’m a particularly religious person, but because I’m fascinated by religious texts, beliefs and customs.
In high school I started up an improv comedy club called the Scary, Scary Monkey ImproveSociety. My teenage son Connor started up an improv club of his own last year in middle school.
I am an extreme morning person. I struggle to get much of anything done past 7pm at night. But this morning I woke up at 5am ready to write!
My Myers-Briggs score is INTP. This means I tend to be an introvert who thinks logically but uses intuition in decision making. My “P” is slight which means I appreciate order but like spontaneity even more.
I published my first book 13 years ago, right around the time my oldest son Connor was born. Air Monopoly is a business book on the Canadian airline industry.
My 15 Nominees
Thoughts and Pavement by Miranda. This is one of the best running blogs on the Internet and it’s written by a good friend of mine!
Sarah Warsi
Millennial Mrs. and Mom
The Wordy Mom
Love 2 Live Life
The Purple Almond
Vilina Christoph
All the Passion Strings
Hot To Addict
Growing Self
Pink and Blue Student Blog
Daily Life Talk
YouPerfect
That Desperate Friend
Casey Palmer, Canadian Dad
These are just a handful of the blogs I enjoy. I’ll recognize more soon! In the comments, feel free to leave a link to one of your favorite blogs (not your own please!).
September 4, 2017
How To Deal With Negative Feedback
I recently let some negative feedback ruin my day.
I’d left a link to one of my posts on an online forum where bloggers give each other feedback. I had done this many times before and the feedback had generally been quite positive. It was a boost to my self-esteem as a blogger.
Then one day I got some feedback that wasn’t so good. The blogger had three critiques:
He said I was seeking feedback on my posts far too often in the online forum.
I was recycling my own posts too much, using the WordPress “reblog” feature on days when I wasn’t publishing a new post. The blogger said this made it feel like I was “out of ideas to write,” which made my blog “less interesting to browse through.”
Finally, the blogger said the “ideas and structure” in my posts were “rather not so strong.” he suggested I read more and “imitate some good writings.”
Up until then I felt pretty proud of what I was building with My Instruction Manual. My audience was growing and people were responding well, not just in the comments but in a couple of emails where readers reached out to tell me that the life lessons in my blog were helping them to get through difficult times.
But this feedback made me doubt myself. The impostor syndrome set in and I started to question whether I was fooling myself thinking I could launch a successful self improvement / personal development blog. I even started to question my own writing abilities. Then my reaction shifted 100%. I started to wonder who the hell this blogger thought he was. I visited his blog and made myself feel better by identifying all the things that were wrong with it.
As I thought about my two contrasting reactions, I realized that most of us don’t deal with criticism very well. Negative feedback brings out our worst insecurities. As a result, we tend to deal with it in one of two extremes. Either we deny it all or we accept it all.
When we deny it all, we choose to believe that the only way to protect ourselves from criticism is to argue. We believe we must convince the person giving us this feedback that they are wrong. If we can do so, then we are able to erase the critique. When I get negative feedback from my wife, my first instinct is to deny and argue. There are obvious problems with this. First, it makes people giving the critique feel like they are not being heard. Second, it eliminates any chance of us being able to actually learn or grow from the constructive criticism.
When we accept it all, we do so because the criticism has punctured our self-esteem so badly that we feel it must be true. But by doing so, we’re giving up our ability to independently assess our own abilities. As a result, we may change ourselves based on a single person’s assessments of our strengths and weaknesses. The greatest danger with accepting it can make us feel like frauds and want to give up.
But there is a third way, which is to assess the feedback.
When we assess the feedback, we accept that there is usually some truth within each piece of negative feedback. Then we assess the feedback to identify the truth. Finally, we embrace the truth as a platform for personal growth and development.
Here’s how the three ways of dealing with criticism look with regard to the feedback that my posts are “rather not so strong.” If I deny it all, I believe there’s no truth whatsoever in the statement. If I accept it all, I believe the feedback is perfectly true and I’m a fraud.
But when I assess the feedback, I start by accepting there’s a kernel of truth there. Now deep down, I know that while I might not be great at a lot of things, writing is truly one of my strengths. I went to journalism school. I spent 10 years working as a journalist. I’ve written and edited books. My writing was seen as a great asset to my teams at a PR agency and in the corporate world. So I don’t accept that my posts are bad. I also think the suggestion that I should try to copy other writers’ work is bad advice.
But I’m able to recognize that there may be some truths hidden within this feedback.
First, the obvious truth is that this one blogger doesn’t like my blog. And that’s okay. I’m not trying to be all things to all people. As they say in one of my favorite Broadway musicals, Title of Show, “I’d rather be nine people’s favorite thing than a hundred people’s ninth favorite thing.”
Second, with August being such a busy month, I didn’t write as many posts as I had in June and July, and I didn’t spend quite as much time on each post. So if I’m truthful with myself, I acknowledge that I can do better.
The blogger’s other two points — that I reblog too much and seek feedback too often on other forums — probably also include elements of truth. I’d love feedback on either of these points.
I’ve included a screen grab here so you can see the original feedback and how I responded:
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The blogger responded to me once again saying that I shouldn’t believe the positive feedback I received because people are probably just trying to make me feel better.
Two questions I’m hoping you can answer in the comments.
First, when it comes to negative feedback are you more of a denier or an accepter? Or have you found a healthy middle ground? Second, as a reader of My Instruction Manual, what are your thoughts on re-blogging old posts on days when I’m not writing something new? Am I doing it too much?
September 3, 2017
August Highlights and Lowlights
August was a mixed month for me.
On one hand, I was lucky enough to be travelling with my wife Laura and the kids for over half the month. We went to Orlando (stinkin’ hot, Disney parks, villa with private pool) and the Maritimes (ocean, lobster, breathtaking vistas like you see in the image accompanying this post).
On the other hand, this meant that I didn’t write nearly as many posts in My Instruction Manual. This also explains why this is my first post in a week and a half. We returned last night from Halifax, and while I had every intention of writing posts ahead of time or while we were on vacation, it just didn’t happen.
While I wrote fewer posts this month, the ones I wrote performed extremely well. My posts were on the shorter side, both because I had less time to write but also because I noticed that shorter posts tend to do better. Moving forward, I will continue to have a mix of shorter and longer posts, as each topic requires.
Here are some of the highlights and lowlights from August.
Traffic and subscribers
While page views continued to grow, unique visitors fell slightly in August due to the drop in posts to promote. My Instruction Manual currently has 547 WordPress followers (through email and WordPress Reader), up from 472 at the end of July.
July’s most read posts
Spoiler Alert: You’re Going to Die, in which I write about how we avoid thinking about the fundamental truth that our days on this planet are numbered. This has already become the third-most-popular post all time in My Instruction Manual.
Thanks for Saving My Life, in which I marked the four-month anniversary of my kidney transplant to thank my sister Stephanie for her life-saving gift. (No. 5 all time).
When Your Heart Walks Away, in which I write about my feelings about my son Connor going away to overnight camp for the first time. (No. 6 all time).
Choose the Color of Joy, in which I write about a sign I saw at the hospital where my mother had knee surgery this month.
Three Things Happy People Do. Hint: One of them involves complaining.
July’s Least Read Post
None of this month’s posts performed poorly. But Eclipsing Divisions, in which I wrote about how the solar eclipse brought people together, received the fewest views.
Most Liked & Discussed
The month’s most viewed post also generated the most comments and likes. Spoiler Alert: You’re Going to Die received 23 comments and 60 likes.
Readership by Country
The top five countries represented in August were (in order) Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, India and Australia. This is the standard ranking for the blog, but the number of visitors from my home country of Canada continues to fall, at 40% in August, down from 61% in my first full month of blogging in June.
Moving Forward
While I’m sad that vacations are over, I’m excited about the fresh start that September brings. You can expect more regular posts from me this month. I’m also planning to move my blog to self-hosted this month and to launch more social channels on Instagram and Pinterest. I also have some big announcements planned for this month about the future of My Instruction Manual!
What about you? How did you enjoy the third month of My Instruction Manual? What posts would you like to see in month three?
August 24, 2017
10 Inspirational Quotes About Forgiveness
When you’re stuck in anger or resentment, forgiveness can be the hardest thing to do. But forgiveness is often essential for growth.
Today, I share 10 inspirational quotes about forgiveness.
“True forgiveness is when you can say, ‘Thank you for that experience.'” — Oprah Winfrey
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” — Mahatma Gandhi
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
“I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.” — C.S. Lewis
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” — Mark Twain
“To err is human, to forgive, divine.” — Alexander Pope
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” — Oscar Wilde
“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” – William Blake
“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive,” — Mother Teresa
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes
If you’re a fan of inspirational quotes, be sure to check out previous posts here and here.
Which of these forgiveness quotes is your favorite? Have another quote you’d like to share? Scroll down and leave it in the comments and maybe I’ll add it to the My Instruction Manual Quotes page.
August 22, 2017
Eclipsing Divisions
I’m not American, but ever since the 2016 U.S. election I’ve been obsessed with the gong show that is American politics.
From my home in Toronto, Canada, I check in on the latest developments through 24-hour news channels. Most days, it feels like I’m watching a nation divided to its core; separated into two groups with completely different values and beliefs.
I watch because I’m worried for the human race.
If such division can happen in one of the most stable, most democratic countries in the world — the nation that declared all men “created equal” and expanded that definition over centuries — then perhaps nowhere is immune.
But this week something wonderful happened. For a few hours, the United States was united once more, transfixed on the total eclipse that traveled across the continent.
For a brief time, there was no division, no two sides, only the united voice of a nation in awe, reminded of how small we are in our own solar system, let alone this great universe.
August 21, 2017
Book Review: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
Happy eclipse day! Remember not to look at the sun.
Today I’m reblogging the first book review I posted in My Instruction Manual. Don’t forget to click back to the original post and let me know what you think in the comments.
Keith
The Book
The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle and Generally Have More Fun. By Gretchen Rubin. First published in 2009.
Summary
Over one calendar year, Rubin tries dozens of techniques and tactics to boost her own happiness — everything from starting a collection of bluebirds to cleaning up her apartment each night before bed.
She writes:
“… I grasped two things: I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change. In that single moment, with that realization, I decided to dedicate a year to trying to be happier.”
What you need to know
If you’re looking for a one-size-fits-all guide to “happy,” this isn’t it. The Happiness Project doesn’t pretend to be a definitive guide. Instead, it is one woman’s series…
View original post 245 more words
August 20, 2017
My First Decade on Twitter
Ten years ago this week I posted my first tweet. I was working as the social media director at a public relations agency. I was an “expert” in social media tools like blogs, podcasts, Facebook, YouTube and even MySpace.
But Twitter was something new.
On Sundays I take a break from writing about my journey to be happy, healthy, connected, organized and inspired to write something fun. In today’s #SundayFunday post, I look back to my first months on Twitter.
My first tweet was cringe-worthy, partly because of the grammatical error (I wrote “the Jay’s game” instead of “the Jays game”).
Combing social media blogs while watching the Jay’s game.
— Keith McArthur (@keithmcarthur)
It look me a while to figure out Twitter. Four months after I joined the social network, I included “master Twitter” in a list of my social media new year’s resolutions for 2008.
I wrote:
I tried Twitter several months ago, but didn’t get much out of it. But everybody is still talking about it (everybody, at least, in the social media marketing bubble). Maybe I wasn’t using it right. Used properly, they say, it’s more than a “What am I doing tool” and more of a “What am I thinking” tool with great potential for business networking and personal branding. Jaiku is said to be the better microblogging tool, but Twitter is where the people are, and in this world, the size of the social graph is most of what counts.
I stuck to that resolution and by the end of 2008 I was hooked. Twitter remains my favorite social network today.
What about you? What’s your favorite social network?
August 19, 2017
Choose the Color of Joy
My mother was in hospital this week to get her left knee replaced. It was a whirlwind tour: Surgery late Wednesday afternoon and back at home less than 48 hours later. She’s in pain but things seem to be going well.
While trying to escape the maze of the hospital, I stumbled into a hallway, crowned with a sign which read: “I Deserve the Colour of Joy.”
Wikipedia poetically defines color as a “characteristic of human visual perception.” Joy, too, is about perception. If we choose to see the best in the world, our brains re-wire themselves to be more positive. When we complain, or get scared or focus on the negative, our brains create synapses that make us more attuned to these negative forces.
If we take the right actions like being grateful and mindful and choose not to complain, most of us can find happiness.
So make a conscious choice today to choose joy.
You deserve it.
