Keith McArthur's Blog, page 20

Are These the Best Canadian Songs Ever?

Happy Birthday Canada!

My home and native land celebrates it’s 150th birthday on July 1. Once a week I take a break from writing about my journey to be happier, healthier and more productive. For this week’s #SundayFunday post, I’m sharing my list of the Top 25 Canadian songs of all time. My wife Laura has compiled her Top 11 list and I’ve included that too.

If you’re not Canadian, you’ll know some of our best-known artists including Drake, Justin Bieber, Rush,  Barenaked Ladies, Celine Dion and The Weeknd. But we’ve also got a lot of great music you may not have heard yet.

Here’s your chance to celebrate along with us!

Scroll down to the bottom of the page where I’ve embedded a Spotify playlist of everything on Laura’s and my lists plus dozens more Canadian classics. There are about 100 songs on this Spotify playlist, but it needs 150. Help me complete the list by scrolling down to the bottom of the page and leaving your feedback in the comments.

Here’s my Top 25:

I Go Blind – 54.40
Brian Wilson – Barenaked Ladies
Mass Romantic – The New Pornographers
For The Hand of Magdelena – The Lowest of the Low
Home For A Rest – Spirit of the West
Big Yellow Taxi – Joni Mitchell
California – Grimes
Superman’s Song – Crash Test Dummies
Ordinary Day – Great Big Sea
Headlines – Drake
The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot
Teenland – The Northern Pikes
The Tame, The Half-Born, The Wild and You – Ron Hawkins
All The Things I Wasn’t – The Grapes of Wrath
Black Velvet – Alannah Myles
Your Ex-Lover is Dead – Stars
Striptease – Hawksley Workman
Your English is Good – Tokyo Police Club
Bud The Spud – Stompin’ Tom Connors
Romantic Traffic – Spoons
If I Had a Rocket Launcher – Bruce Cockburn
Spirits – The Strumbellas
Suzanne – Leonard Cohen
Ironic – Alanis Morissette
2112: Overture / The Temples of Syrinx / … – Rush

My wife Laura also ranked her Top 11:

Hallelujah – Rufus Wainwright
Lost Together – Blue Rodeo
Brian Wilson – Barenaked Ladies
Angel – Sarah McLaghlan
Head over Feet – Alanis Morissette
Summer of ’69 – Brian Adams
Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell
Home For a Rest – Spirit of the West
Ordinary Day – Great Big Sea
Proud To Be Canadian – Arrogant Worms
Rosy and Grey – The Lowest of the Low

So what do you think of our lists? What are your top Canadian songs of all time? Scroll down to the comments to leave your feedback and to help get this Spotify playlist up to 150 songs.

https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/22nn7nfqfkpyk3z57gai3lpsa/playlist/7LOJ3Ypn3BGJ7LB51HY1ge

What Do You Want To Be?

What do you want to be?

Richer? Thinner? Happier? More popular? More successful? All of the above?

When I launched My Instruction Manual last month, I wanted to create a guidebook for being human. I knew this would help me and I hoped it would help others too. My initial vision was to focus my journey on three things: 1) becoming happier, 2) becoming healthier and 3) becoming more productive.

For this post, I want your help.

I want you to let me know if this is the right list. Does happier, healthier and more productive cover everything that matters? Or are there other important themes that are missing?

You can help shape this blog by scrolling down to the comments and letting me know what you think.

But first, here’s how I see the three categories:

“Happier” will include posts about growth, gratitude, stress, human relationships and mindfulness. Recent posts in this category include a book review of The Happiness Project and a post about why personal growth is so vital to our happiness.
“Healthier” deals with eating right and exercise. So far, I’ve written posts about whether fatty foods make you fat and my proposed new version of the four food groups.
“More Productive” includes achieving goals, motivation, time management and personal organization. This category includes posts about bullet journals and tracking resolutions daily.

I’ve also written several posts that are about self improvement / personal development more broadly (eg: How bad things can make us better), and some off-topic #SundayFunday posts (eg: The top 10 television dramas).

I asked Facebook what was missing from the three broad categories I outlined. Some of the great suggestions included how to be more kind, how to have more meaningful relationships, how to find balance, how to manage money, how to build resilience, how to be happy at work and how to make the world a better place.

What do you think? Are the categories of Happiness, Health and Productivity the right ones for a manual on how to live life right? What do you think is important that doesn’t fit into one of these? Or is one of these not deserving of its own category?

Please scroll down and leave your thoughts in the comments below.

I Can Do Anything (Except This)

I love beautiful penmanship. Cursive or printing, it doesn’t matter. When I get a note or a review a contract with handsome letters, I feel happy.

And maybe a little jealous.

My writing has always been terrible. Way back in grade school teachers would complain that they couldn’t read my assignments. More recently, friends and co-workers would joke about me writing in a secret code only I could decipher.

I’ve always believed that I could accomplish almost anything I set my mind to. But I also believed that some things were just hardwired, that there were some areas where I just couldn’t grow.

And my messy, illegible handwriting was one of those areas. I truly believed that my hands were physically incapable of making letters that were neat and tidy.

But writing My Instruction Manual has made me rethink some of my old assumptions. So I asked my Facebook and LinkedIn contacts whether an adult who has always been a messy writer could learn to write (or print) neatly.

A few friends referred me to online resources.

Christina, a teacher I know from university, provided some tips she uses with little kids:

…[b]asically always pull down when you are making a letter and pull back and around.  For an ‘l’, go from pull down. For an ‘a’, pull back and around. Getting the right movements might be part of it just like weightlifting too:)

My friend Ben taught himself to write more neatly and shared how he did it:

I started to think of my penmanship as more like little “drawings.” This made me appreciate what I was doing more, so it made me more mindful. … I think the combination of practice, and being mindful about how I wanted my characters (aka “drawings”) to look is what helped me for both my writing and printing.

So I decided to give it a try.

And it’s working!

The other day my wife saw something I had written and asked who wrote it. The change was so dramatic, she couldn’t believe it was me.

See for yourself.

Here’s before. Keep in mind that this is me trying to write neatly in my bullet journal.

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And here’s today:

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I wouldn’t say my writing is beautiful, not yet, but it has become legible. And as I work at it, it continues to improve.

I recently wrote here about how human happiness depends on growth. And I wrote here about how I overcame my belief that I was too old to make new friends.

It’s not enough to believe we can accomplish almost anything. We need to believe we can accomplish anything. There are always going to be exceptions. I’m never going to give birth or become a Major League pitcher. But the list of what we can’t accomplish is much smaller than we might assume.

So here’s an exercise to try.

Make a list of some things you always wished you could do but believed you couldn’t. Not just the things you haven’t made time for (those are easy), but the things you truly believe you don’t have the mental or physical capabilities to do.

And make a decision to try one of them.

Scroll down to the comments and let me know if you’re taking my challenge.

When Bad Things Make Us Better

I haven’t posted much over the past few days.

Here’s why: We’ve just returned from spending several days with families of children with GRIN1, the same rare condition as my son Bryson. (The picture above shows Olivia, Owen and Bryson; all have GRIN1).

It was an amazing and uplifting experience. After years of feeling alone without a diagnosis, we have finally found a community of families just like ours.

But that’s not the only reason it was so great to spend time with these families.

It’s also that these are some of the kindest, most positive people I have ever met.

How is that possible?

Do terrible things happen more often to good people?

You might expect these families of children with severe developmental delays to be sad, or resentful, or to mourn the fact that their GRIN1 child isn’t healthy or “normal.”

Back before I had children, I remember learning that someone I knew had a daughter with severe autism, so bad she couldn’t speak. I remember feeling sad for his burden, and wondering how he was still able to go to work every day, and imagining how terrible it would be if I ever had a child with developmental delays.

After my recent kidney transplant, someone mentioned to me how unfair it was that my family had so many health issues. And when we’re at our lowest, my wife Laura and I do feel angry, and do feel unlucky, and do feel resentful.

But most of the time, we’ve accepted Bryson’s condition and are more focused on the positives (how well Bryson is progressing) and the opportunities (what we can do to prevent his seizures, help him learn to walk, and help him learn to talk).

But the biggest change in our lives is that these big health issues really put the little annoyances of daily life into perspective. Little things don’t matter like they used to.

We actually feel like pretty lucky people. Like the other families we met in Pittsburgh, we’ve grown through having these special children.

It’s not that bad things happen to good people. It’s that bad things can make us better people.

This doesn’t mean I’m grateful for it. I would give up any personal growth if Bryson didn’t have to suffer. I would give up almost anything to be able to have a conversation with him — to know what’s going on in his mind.

But it is all a good reminder that when bad things happen to us, we don’t need to become bad people. Or put another way: We don’t choose the shit life throws at us, but we can choose whether we let it make us stink.

What do Manatees like to Eat? And Other Dad Jokes for Father’s Day

Once a week I take a break from writing about my journey to become happier, healthier and more productive. In this Father’s Day #SundayFunday post, I share some dad jokes.

A couple years ago, my Mom joined Laura, the boys and me on a trip to Florida. On our drive from Orlando to Fort Lauderdale, we stopped at Blue Spring State Park to see the wild manatees in the St. John’s River.

While walking along the river, I started making up manatee puns. Soon everyone was joining in, thought they may not appreciate me sharing the credit now. These were the daddiest of dad jokes. Because I’m a dad, they still make me laugh today.

I share some here.

Q: What do manatees like to drink?

A: Mana-tea.

Q: Where does a manatee sleep when he goes camping?

A: In a mana-teepee.

Q: Why was the manatee feeling lonely?

A: Because his friends were mana-teasing him.

Q: Why do manatees never work alone?

A: Because they prefer mana-teamwork.

Q: What’s a manatee’s favorite color?

A: Mana-teal.

Q: What’s a manatee’s favorite kind of wood?

A: Mana-teak.

A: What do manatees like to eat?

B: Mana-T-bone steak.

Got your own Manatee jokes? Scroll down and share them in the comments here.

A New Way of Looking at Food Groups

There’s good scientific evidence that we should be a lot less worried about fat in our diets and a lot more worried about sugars and refined starches. (I wrote about that science here).

Some people try to eliminate sugars altogether. And while that might be the healthy thing to do, I’m more of an everything-in-moderation kind of guy. An ice cream cone in the summer can be magical, as can hot chocolate in the winter. Personally, I wouldn’t would never want to eliminate these altogether!

I also believe that any diet that leaves you hungry is doomed to fail.

As part of my journey to be happier, healthier and more productive, I’m trying to eat healthier myself. As I learn how to do this, I’ve been tossing around the idea of re-defining the four food groups. Instead of grains, dairy, proteins, and fruits and vegetables, I’ve come up with the four new categories: Abundance, Moderation, Limited and Rare.

Abundance are those foods that we don’t need to restrict at all. If we’re hungry, we can eat as much as we want at any time of day. (The caveat is that we should always stop eating when we’re full and never eat too much before bed).
Moderation foods are those that are okay to regularly, but we need to be aware of portion size.
Limited are foods that are okay to eat once a day, but in small portions.
Rare foods should be thought of as treats. These are foods we shouldn’t eat every day.

Before I get to what foods fit into each category, a few thoughts.

First, this is a work in progress. I’m still thinking about what foods belong in each category and would love your feedback.

Second, I want this to be a framework that works for anyone who’s not on a medically-restricted diet. If you’re trying to lose weight, you might need to further limit the “moderation,” “limited” and “rare” categories, but can still eat in abundance from the first category. As always, vegetarians or vegans need to double down on legumes.

Third, the best thing about the list is how many things actually fit into the abundance category. It’s a lot! There’s no need to be hungry even if you’re trying to shed some pounds.

Finally, I’m not a dietitian. This system is based on what I’ve learned about healthy eating, but at this stage it’s just something to think about.

So with that, here’s what I’ve come up with so far for each category:

Abundance

All vegetables except potatoes (fresh, frozen or canned)
Non-sweet fruit that we think of as vegetables (avocados and tomatoes)
All legumes (kidney beans, chick peas, lentils, etc.)
All fish and seafood (no batter)
Eggs (boiled, poached or fried in healthy oils)
Water – still or sparkling
Healthy oils (avocado, olive, coconut)

Moderation

Whole grain breads, cereals, pastas and brown rice
All chicken or turkey (no skin / no batter)
Unsweetened dairy (milk, unsweetened yogurt, cheese, sour cream)
Tea and coffee

Limited

Other non-processed meats (beef, pork, lamb)
Potatoes
White breads, rice or pasta
Nuts
Fruit
Sweetened yogurt
Dark chocolate
Wine

Rare

Desserts other than fruit
Candy
Processed snacks
Processed meats (cold cuts, hot dogs, etc.)
Drinks with sugar (including fruit juice)
Diet drinks
Alcohol other than wine

As I noted, this is a work in progress, so I would love your advice and input! Please scroll down to the bottom of the page to leave your comments.

Sometimes Retreat is the Wisest Choice

When I was six years old, my parents took me to Africa to visit my aunt and uncle in Nairobi, Kenya.

As this was such a different world from my home in Canada, they gave me specific safety warnings before the trip. One was to be careful around beehives because African bees attacked in swarms, and multiple stings could kill a small child.

One sunny day, while playing in my relatives’ beautiful gated garden, I got stung. Remembering the warnings, I screamed “killer bee” and ran into the house as fast as my little legs could carry me.

The solution was simple and obvious. I avoided more stings by getting out of a potentially harmful situation as quickly as I could.

But so often we forget to do this as adults.

So often, we choose to live in the pain and hurt of the world instead of getting ourselves to safety. So often, we choose to get stung again and again.

Sometimes the threat is external. We feel we have no choice but to remain in toxic friendships, poisonous workplaces or abusive relationships.

More often, the threat is internal. We harbor past grudges, re-open old wounds and dwell on past mistakes, when we should be living in the present moment. After all, the present moment is the only one we can do anything about.

Whether the treat is internal or external, we too often choose to expose ourselves to a swarm of stings, when the smart thing to do is to retreat to safety.

 

Why I’m Grateful for Sharks

Years ago, my wife Laura and I visited our son Connor’s preschool class around Thanksgiving. One wall was covered with art representing what each child was thankful for. While other children were thankful for “the earth,” “my baby brother,” and “ice cream,” Connor’s art showed he was thankful for sharks.

My wife Laura and I laughed about it at the time, but reflecting on it now, I think there was wisdom in his choice.

There is so much in the world to be grateful for if only we’re ready to see it.

Studies show that thinking about or expressing gratitude has numerous benefits including improving physical and mental health, improving self-esteem and improving sleep.

Yesterday marked two months since my kidney transplant, and two months since I got a second chance at life.

So I’ve got a lot to be thankful for.

I’m grateful for my sister Stephanie for being my donor. This meant weeks off work, major surgery followed by several nights in hospital, and a whole lot of pain while she recovered. Stephanie is my hero and I will never be able to thank her enough for my new life.
I’m grateful for my sister Fiona for going through the full testing process and for other friends and family who volunteered to go through the testing if my sisters weren’t a match.
I’m grateful for my wife Laura and for my sons Connor and Bryson. I wasn’t a very good father or husband in the months leading up to the transplant. I was tired and impatient a lot. Some of the time, I was on a powerful steroid (a failed attempt at slowing the kidney damage), that made me angry and impossible to live with. Despite all that, Laura and the boys supported me throughout. Even now that I’m mostly healthy there’s a big burden on Laura. I’m still not supposed to lift anything over ten pounds, and this means she’s doing all the heavy lifting with our disabled son.
I’m grateful for my mom and for Laura’s parents who were huge supports to Stephanie and me through the transplant process.
I’m grateful for my health. I feel like a whole new person since the transplant. I have energy, focus and I feel happy. So far, my kidneys are working perfectly. While the risk of rejection never goes away completely, the risk is highest closer to the transplant and I’m grateful I’ve made it this far.
I’m grateful for food. In the months before my kidney transplant, my diet was extremely limited. Because my kidneys couldn’t flush out phosphate and potassium, I had to restrict foods with these minerals to make sure they wouldn’t poison me. This meant eliminating or severely limiting meat, dairy, whole grains and many fruits and vegetables. So I ate a lot of noodles, rice and white bread. Now that my kidneys are working again, I can eat almost anything.
I’m grateful for My Instruction Manual. My transplant led to this blog and I’m loving this journey to become happier, healthier and more productive. Today marks my fourteenth post in fourteen days and I’m grateful for that too.
Finally, I’m grateful for sharks. Last year, just before my kidney disease took a turn for the worse, I was able to go SCUBA diving in the Turks and Caicos. My instructor pointed behind me. I turned to see a five-foot shark swimming past. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life, but also one of the most magical. And I’m thankful for it.

What are you grateful for today?

The 10 Best Television Dramas

Once a week I deviate from my usual focus on becoming happier, healthier and more productive to write about something different. Today I rank my picks for the top television dramas.

Let me know what you think in the comments below!

My Top 10
1. Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad is the greatest television series ever made. Period. No show is perfect, but the second half of the final season is as close to flawless as television gets.

2. Game of Thrones

I fell in love with the TV series first, which drew me to the books. Now I love the books even more and I’m in the unfortunate position of comparing the two. This inevitably highlights the flaws in the show. Some seasons are better than others, but the first 15 minutes of 2016’s season finale just might be the best television you will ever watch.

3. The Wire

When you watch the first few episodes of The Wire, you wonder what all the fuss is about. At first it seems like a tropey cop show. But by the end of the first season you’re hooked, and the show continues to get stronger. As a former journalist, I was particularly impressed with how real the newsroom scenes felt.

4. Orphan Black

Orphan Black is the best television drama you’ve never seen. Tatiana Maslany’s acting in multiple roles is extraordinary. (The image accompanying this post shows Maslany in four of her characters). The plot is complicated, but the writing is strong. It’s filmed in my home town of Toronto and the final season began last night.

5. The West Wing

This show presents the hopeful side of U.S. politics — the optimistic opposite of what we see in House of Cards. With everything that’s going on in Washington today, we need Jed Bartlet more than ever.

6. Orange is the New Black

I almost gave up on this series after the first season, partly because I just wasn’t that interested in the Piper / Alex storyline. But the show has continued to get stronger as the plot focuses more on other members of the ensemble cast. I haven’t watched the latest season yet, but I’m looking forward to it.

7. Mad Men

Mad Men‘s strength is it’s subtlety. The show resists the temptation, so common in most television drama, for “water coooler” plot developments. There are few deaths or disasters. Instead, characters develop in small ways over long periods of time. But the primary narrative of the show is as deep as it gets: one man’s battle for his own soul.

8. Six Feet Under

On the surface, it’s a show about death set in a funeral home. But really, this is one of the best dramas ever made about family dynamics.

9. Better Call Saul

If you like fast-paced shows, you may not like Better Call Saul. The prequel to Breaking Bad moves slowly. But the writing is brilliant; the directing is artful and the depth of Bob Odenkirk’s performance as Jimmy McGill / Saul Goodman is extraordinary.

10. Star Trek: The Next Generation

I’ve always loved Jean Luc Picard. He is probably the fictional persona whose character and leadership skills I most admire. If you can make it past the boring pilot, you’ll be hooked on this show.

Honorable Mentions

The Handmaid’s Tale: It was hard to keep it off the Top 10 list, even though only a handful of episodes have aired.

The Crown: This is another show that could move into the Top 10 list after it’s second season, expected in November.

Dexter: This show starts strong, peaks in the fourth season (Trinity) and then, sadly, gets pretty awful.

Narcos: Like The Wire, this show artfully switches between the criminals and the cops, with two very strong seasons in the books.

House of Cards: I’m still hooked on this show, but it peaked in the first episode of the second season. The show’s  weakness? The main character started in such an extreme place that there’s been little room for character development.

The Fall: A chilling story of a serial killer. The first two seasons are particularly strong before the second season ends with a cliffhanger that strains credulity.

Shows I haven’t seen

Here are some shows that will be on some people’s top 10 lists, but aren’t on mine because I haven’t seen them yet — or haven’t seen enough episodes to rank them.

Twin Peaks, Doctor Who, The Sopranos, Lost

So what do you think of this list. Tell me I’m crazy in the comments below.

 

 

Podcast Review: By the Book

The Hosts

By The Book is hosted by stand up comedian Jolenta Greenberg and podcast producer Kristen Meinzer. It is produced by Panoply.

The Premise

The hosts describe the podcast as “half reality show, half self-help podcast, and one wild social experiment.” Each episode, the hosts pick one self-help book and commit to living the book for two weeks. They must follow every instruction, guideline and recommendation to the letter, regardless of consequences on their lives, careers and marriages.

What you Need to Know

Jolenta and Kristen approach the self-help genre with differing attitudes, which creates the tension that makes the podcasts fun. Jolenta wants to believe that each book will change her life. Kristen approaches each book more skeptically. Their even more skeptical husbands play supporting roles in the podcasts through audio diaries that the hosts record with them.

This is a new podcast. The hosts have approached two books to date: The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo.

Key Takeaway

After two episodes, the main takeaway seems to be that blindly following any self-help formula is probably the wrong approach. While both books center around fundamental truths that can improve our lives, they also have drawbacks.

The Secret’s message about the power of optimism resonated with both hosts, but neither loved the book’s claim that people attract and are responsible for anything bad that happens to them. Likewise, de-cluttering can improve our lives, but Kondo takes it to the extreme, causing domestic tension for both hosts.

Worth Listening?

Yes! This is a fun way to learn about important books in the self-help cannon and will appeal both to those who embrace the genre as well as more skeptical listeners. I’m looking forward to the next episode, though it’s worth noting that because each experiment takes two weeks, it’s not clear how frequently they will appear.