Keith McArthur's Blog, page 17
July 28, 2017
Grow or Die: Why Happiness is Impossible Without Growth
One year ago this month, physician-assisted suicide became legal in Canada. The law stipulates that doctors can only carry out the procedure in situations where patients experience “suffering that is intolerable to them and that cannot be relieved under conditions they consider acceptable.”
But it’s not physical pain that causes most people to request physician-assisted suicide. According to an article in the latest issue of Toronto Life magazine, it’s something much more profound.
In Oregon, where the practice has been legal for 20 years, the most common reasons cited by patients are loss of autonomy, an inability to enjoy life and loss of dignity. Doctors in Ontario say they’ve observed the same reasoning. … There is an underlying medical cause, but the suffering is usually existential. Patients find they are simply playing out the string, without any hope of finding meaning in the limited time available to them.
In other…
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July 27, 2017
These Inspirational Quotes Could Change Your Life
Many of you told me how much you liked the last My Instructional Manual post with some of my favorite inspirational quotes. Here are 10 more that embody what this blog is all about.
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” — Henry Ford
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” — Zig Ziglar
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” — Nelson Mandela
“We are not trees. We are not meant to stay in one place forever. We are meant to move, to stretch, to grow and to constantly go on adventures into the unknown.” — Luminita D. Saviuc
“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” — Lau Tzu
“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” — Tony Robbins
“You and I are not what we eat; we are what we think.” — Walter Andersson
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” — Charles R. Swindoll
“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it. Try the “as if” technique.” — William James
“Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day, too. The more we complain the more unhappy we get.” — Dennis Prager
What’s your favorite from this list? If you have another inspirational quote you love, scroll down and share it in the comments and maybe I’ll add it to this blog’s quotes page.
July 26, 2017
18 Life Lessons from 18 18-Year-Olds
We like to believe that wisdom comes with age. And that’s partly true.
But there’s also a profound wisdom in youth. Many parents say they’ve learned more from their young children than from any adult. Every day I’m impressed with the wisdom of my teenage son Connor as he tests complex theories about life and the world around him. Yesterday I wrote about one of the essential truths I had discovered by the time I was 20, to Enjoy the Journey.
I love posts where bloggers condense loads of wisdom into a short list. Among my favorite are posts where bloggers turning 18 share 18 life lessons they’ve discovered before they reach adulthood.
So today, I share 18 life lessons from 18 posts that young adults from around the world wrote when they turned 18. I’ve picked one piece of wisdom from each one, but be sure to click on their names to check out 17 more gems from each one!
Make people listen to what you have to say, writes Iulia Maria of Romania. “Don’t let them tell you you’re ‘just a kid.’ Stand up for what you believe in even if you’re alone!”
Don’t be afraid to say no sometimes, advises Mila.
Choose the right people, Andrei Paras of the Philippines suggests. “Do yourself a favor and distance yourself from people who are detrimental to your well-being.”
Do things that scare you every once in a while, writes Makena Nicole, a Californian studying in New York City.
You’ll have a happier life if you practice being a happy and grateful person, offers Liliana of Australia. “When you are unhappy with the world, pull your focus inward to yourself and work on how you can be happy in an unhappy world.”
Don’t pretend to like things just because other people do, recommends Ruth Sheehan of Ireland.
Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm, writes Rhaea Evelyn Lee of Surrey, England.
If you’re second guessing it, you probably don’t want it, shares Bella.
Sometimes delays are blessings in disguise, suggests Chloe-Ana Braidy of Jamaica.
Be the kind of person and do the things that will make your future self proud, advises Kelsi Crotser.
Never be ashamed of your smile or laugh, writes Elizabeth Anne. “If someone ever tells you that you laugh or smile too much, take that as a compliment. Smile often, laugh even more. Be joyful and give that joy to others. Laugh at the funny moments and the stressful ones. Smile to those who need it, and smile when you don’t think you can.”
Always see the positive side of things even though it gets ugly sometimes, recommends Kellina Wanteu.
Never be ashamed of your ambition, shares Alyson Branscum of Kentucky. “You deserve to live a life you’re excited about. Don’t let others make you forget about it.”
Ask as many questions as possible, writes Mara from a small town northwest of Chicago.
It’s okay if you don’t wanna go to that party. It’s okay to stay home on a Friday night, Em of Germany has learned.
Let yourself feel things, writes Eliz, a student in California. “You shouldn’t dismiss your own feelings. Don’t ignore your stress, sadness, or push away your feelings for someone. It’s okay to feel things deeply. You don’t have to be so harsh and cynical all the time.”
Cherish your childhood because it will be gone, advises Alex.
The happiest you’ve ever been is not the happiest you’ll ever be, promises Emily Wunderlich.
What about you? What’s the most important lesson you learned before you became an adult? If you’ve written your own list of lessons learned by a certain age, feel free to scroll down and share the link in the comments below!
July 25, 2017
Enjoy the Journey
Tucked in a box of papers somewhere in my house is a journal I wrote more than 20 years ago when I was an undergrad. And in that journal are the life lessons I had learned by 20.
I forget most of them now, but there’s one that’s always stuck with me: Enjoy the Journey.
And although I still appreciate the essential truth in that simple statement, it remains hard to follow.
So today I remind myself:
Enjoy the journey that is life. Live not for destinations, for those are but fleeting seconds in the long path that is everything. Instead, live for each discovery along the way. Savor the ups and downs, for without the sorrows there can be no joys. Live in today; live in the moment. Because no matter who we are, the final destination for each and every one of us is death. And there’s nothing like that final goal to remind us to live, to embrace each moment, to enjoy the journey.
July 24, 2017
Do Fatty Foods Make You Fat?
In a study published last year, a team of Boston-area researchers studied the eating habits of more than 18,000 women to better understand the relationship between high-fat diets and obesity.
The study, published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, compared women who ate high-fat dairy with those who consumed dairy with reduced fat.
If you guessed that the high-fat consumers were more overweight you’re mistaken. In fact, women who ate higher fat dairy were less likely to put on weight than those who ate lower fat.
But this is just one study. So let’s also look at a survey of research study published in 2012. It surveyed 16 studies and came to the same conclusion. In 11 of those studies, people who ate less whole-fat dairy were more likely to be overweight.
The evidence that we need to be less worried about fat has been laid out in…
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July 23, 2017
This Tiny Kidney Transplant Survivor is My New Hero
This nine-year-old gives me all the feels, both as a parent and as a fellow kidney transplant recipient.
Once a week I take a break from writing about my journey to be happy, healthy, connected, organized and inspired. Today I share the story of Angelica Hale from Atlanta, Georgia.
Five years ago, this little sweetheart contracted a life-threatening bacterial infection which caused her kidneys to fail. Her amazing mom donated a kidney to give Angelica a second chance at life, just like my amazing sister did for me.
Check it out but be warned. This video made me cry!
Here’s what Angelica had to say after she received the golden buzzer:
Thx for the❤️everyone! Here’s my interview after my performance! OMG #GoldenBuzzer @AGT STILL in shock!!
July 22, 2017
Don’t Wait for a Life-Changing Moment to Change Your Life
Last night, I was watching The Amazing Race Canada with my wife Laura and son Connor. When the racers arrived in Nelson, British Columbia, one contestant revealed that this was an emotional stop for him because two of his friends had died in a skiing accident in this mountain town.
“I knew from that moment I had to embrace every moment life throws at us,” contestant Ryan LaChapelle said. He made a decision to “give“ life everything he had, which is why his team is known as GIVE’R.
There are countless examples of this phenomenon. Tragedies like deaths of friends, diagnoses of serious diseases or near-death experiences can wake us up from the grind of daily life.
For me, it was my kidney disease and the second chance at life I got when my sister donated a kidney to me. That was a defining moment and it motivated me to change my life. It’s what led me to start My Instruction Manual and this journey towards being happy, healthy, connected, organized and inspired.
The challenge for those of us who have been through these truly life-changing moments is to maintain this new perspective. There are times when I slip back into old ways of thinking and I know I’m taking this new life for granted. I need to stop and remind myself of how grateful I am to be where I am today.
But not everyone is unlucky (lucky?) enough to have a life-changing experience. Your challenge is to start making positive changes in your life today. So often we tell ourselves we’ll start living life right when this happens or when that happens. Maybe you’re waiting for the summer to be over and the new school year to start. Maybe you’re waiting until you turn 30. Maybe you’re waiting until you get that big project completed at work. Maybe you’re waiting for your kids to move away to university. Maybe you’re waiting until you retire.
But there’s rarely a perfect moment to change our lives. Positive change doesn’t happen overnight. We change our lives in a million tiny steps.
So GIVE’R today.
Don’t wait for a life-changing moment to change your life.
July 21, 2017
What We Want To Be
Based on your input, I’m making some improvements to the topics I write about in My Instruction Manual.
On Facebook and in a recent post, I asked for your input on whether my three proposed themes (happiness, healthiness and productivity) were the right areas of focus for an instruction manual on how to live life right.
I got lots of feedback! People generally thought I had it right, but there were two primary areas of feedback.
First, some people said the category of “productivity” seemed to imply squeezing even more into their already busy days. This feedback made a lot of sense to me. What I’m really getting at with productivity is two things: Becoming more organized and achieving our goals. I’ve broken these into two different categories of “organized” and “inspired.”
Second, people thought there was a gap in the area of how we connect with others, including themes like kindness, compassion and parenting. I agree and have added the category “connected.”
So what do we want to be? Happy, healthy, connected, organized, inspired and fun.
Here are the new topic categories and what’s included in each one:
Healthy. Posts about healthy eating, exercise and sleep.
Happy. Posts about gratitude, mindfulness and other secrets to happiness.
Connected. Posts about how we interact with others in all relationships from parenting to managing people in the workplace. Posts about kindness, compassion and patience.
Organized. Posts about themes like time management, decluttering, bullet journals and personal finance.
Inspired. These are posts about themes including setting and achieving our goals, identifying our purpose, personal growth, resolutions and inspirational quotes.
Fun. These are off-topic #SundayFunday posts.
My Instruction Manual. This category is for posts like this one, focusing on the blog itself.
So what do you think? Do I have it right now?
July 20, 2017
Book Review: 10% Happier
10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in my Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing my Edge and Found Self-help that Actually Works — A True Story. By Dan Harris. First published in 2014.
Summary
A super-successful TV journalist suffers a on-air panic attack and realizes he needs to make some radical changes in his life. He searches for happiness and finds one thing that actually works: Mindfulness Meditation.
What You Need To Know
This book is 95% biography, 5% how to. The “how to” teaches the basics of mindfulness meditation, but it’s Harris’s account of his personal journey that will make you want to try it.
I’ve written before about how I let my own journalism career get in the way of my own happiness, so I could relate to Harris’ journey of trying to break through the skepticism of journalism to discover true happiness.
Key Takeaway
As the title says, meditation will make you 10% happier. Harris came up with this tagline to convey that meditation can make a real and dramatic impact, while avoiding the over-promising of so many self-help books.
Here’s Harris’ reaction after trying meditation for the first time:
When I opened my eyes, I had an entirely different attitude about meditation. I didn’t like it, per se, but now I respected it. … It was a rigorous brain exercise: rep after rep of trying to tame the runaway train of the mind. … This was a badass endeavor. I resolved to do it everyday.
Personal Impact
This is the book that led me to try mindfulness meditation for the first time. If you haven’t tried it, you can learn how to do it in this post: An Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation.
Here’s a five-minute YouTube video where Harris teaches the basics of mindfulness meditation.
Worth Reading?
Yes! Harris is a terrific storyteller. His insider’s account of being a journalist at ABC news is fascinating on its own. But following a skeptic’s journey of self-discovery is what makes this book great for anyone looking for science-based self-discovery.
July 18, 2017
Amazing New Science about the Human Brain and DNA
I didn’t like biology much in high school. Now I love it.
Why? Because our understanding of DNA and the human mind is evolving to a place where we can have science-based discussions about what it means to be happy and healthy. Recent studies have clearly established the benefits of gratitude and mindfulness meditation, for example.
Today I want to share two amazing new developments in the realm of human science.
1. We can rewire our brains
Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to rewire itself. This can happen in response to changes in the external environment or as a way to work around a brain injury. These changes don’t need years; they take place over days and hours. If you have a stressful day, your brain will rewire itself to be more attuned to stressors. The very next day, you’ll be more likely to get stressed out by smaller things, according to Rick Hanson, the author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm and Confidence.
In the book, he argues that our brains are biased towards negativity when they rewire themselves. Humans evolved this way as an ancient survival technique, but it’s no longer helpful. The good news is that you can teach your brain to rewire itself to be biased towards happiness. Here’s how: Each time something makes you feel safe, satisfied or connected, don’t just let these positive feelings slip by. By taking a few seconds to reflect on them and internalize them, we create new neurons that will help guide us towards more happy experiences.
2. We inherit environments
Epigenetics is a fascinating field of study that blurs the lines between nature and nurture. It shows that while we inherit our genetic code, the environment plays a significant role in how our DNA is expressed. Genes get turned on an off based on everything from diet to how loving our parents are.
Research published yesterday goes even further, suggesting that epigenetic instructions get passed along to offspring. What this means is that you are inheriting the environment of your ancestors, not just through nurture, but through your genetic code and the epigenetic instructions that accompany it.
If you’re new to the notion of epigenetics, here’s a terrific Ted talk on the topic.
Scroll down and let me know what you think of this amazing new science in the comments below!
