Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 77

The Difference between a “Can Do” Church and a “Can’t Do” Church

Every church has an organizational culture. Some churches have a culture of optimism. You can feel the energy in worship. Others are pessimistic. You can sense the deadness when you walk into the sanctuary.

Every church also faces obstacles. What is the difference between churches that approach obstacles with a “can do” attitude over others that have a “can’t do” attitude? What makes a church have a lively optimism over a dead pessimism? 

We’re the right size. The people of the “can’t do” congregation believe the church is too small (or large) to accomplish something. The “can do” church is always the right size. Church size is not an issue for an optimistic church. 

We have the right people. The “can’t do” church sees the people it doesn’t have as a problem. The “can do” church sees the people it has as an opportunity. 

It’s always the right time. The “can’t do” church is stuck in the past or asleep dreaming about the future. The “can do” church believes now is the time to act.

We have the right staff. The “can’t do” congregation believes it must get staffing correctly aligned before ministry can be accomplished. The “can do” congregation doesn’t ignore needed staffing changes but also keeps moving forward with whatever staff is in place.

We have the exact resources God wants us to have.  The “can’t do” church believes more money is needed. The “can do” church does ministry with whatever resources God has provided.

The “can’t do” church views insufficiencies as an obstacle. The “can do” church believes in the sufficiency of God. When a culture of pessimism lingers, the walking spiritually dead take over. With a culture of optimism, however, churches maintain a “can do” attitude that champions the gospel.

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Seven Keys to Leading and Managing Virtual Workers

While the WFA (work from anywhere) movement was growing before COVID, it exploded in growth during the pandemic. For many workers, virtual work was no longer an option. Workers often struggled to adjust to this new reality.

Leaders often struggled as well. Many had never led someone they only see on a screen. Many only knew the word “Zoom” to be associated with a fast car. During this new reality, I’ve had many leaders ask me how to manage or lead workers who no longer are physically present in the workplace.

I began leading virtual workers several years ago. I have been a consummate student attempting to learn this new world. I engaged with Belay (it was known as EA Help when I first worked with them) since they offered a virtual workforce that included assistants, bookkeepers, and webmasters. Indeed, I contracted for one of their workers many years ago. It was one of the best work decisions I’ve ever made. 

So, what have I learned? My brief list is not exhaustive, but it does represent some of the major points I have learned over the past several years. I see these seven repeated consistently. 

Focus on productivity more than hours. So much of the office life of the past 50 years has been patterned after the industrial era. Punching a clock and putting in hours has become the metric by which we measure work. That reality is changing rapidly. We can’t monitor the presence of virtual workers like do workers in a physical office. Ask the question, “What did you get done this week?” instead of “How many hours did you work this week?”


Not all workers can adapt to a virtual workplace. They need the structure and accountability of being in a setting with other workers. They need the routine and rhythm of going to work in a place other than home or the coffee shop. Accept the reality that some will simply not adapt to a virtual workplace. Don’t try to put a square peg into a round hole. 


Meet by videoconferencing regularly. Our team of about 15 persons has developed a weekly rhythm of meeting via Zoom. We typically keep the meeting to an hour. We usually spend most of our time getting brief updates from each team member. We can’t have watercooler conversations, so we need to hear from each other. Of course, smaller teams are meeting for specific reasons throughout the week via Zoom. But it has been important for us to have our entire team together by videoconference every week.


Set reasonable boundaries for virtual workers. I have been amazed to watch how our team members adjust to the virtual workplace. Amy may have kids at home homeschooling for a season, but she lets them know their own boundaries while she works from home. Jana likes the flexibility that comes with her virtual work, but she lets us know anytime she won’t be immediately available. Some workers, however, may not have the innate skills of Amy and Jana who know how to work virtually as well as anyone I know. You may need to provide some guidelines and boundaries for those workers. 


Be aware of slippage. You may notice some virtual workers slipping in their productivity. They may not be focused on their work as much as they once were. You may notice they mute their video in meetings more than they use to do, suggesting other activities are going on around them. Address potential issues of slippage early. 


Ask your virtual workers how you can help them most. Do they need more frequent meetings? Are they getting sufficient information? What can you do to be a more effective communicator? Listen to your virtual workers. I learn from my virtual team every week. 


If possible, have an in-person gathering at least once a year. Video communication is an incredible technology. It allows us to do things we never dreamed possible as a team and as a worker. But you can’t replace the team chemistry that takes place when we are physically present together. It may not always be feasible, but allow for in-person gatherings as much as possible. 

When I was a pastor, there was a church member who would often park his car in the church parking lot in the early morning hours to see what time I got to the office. He would likewise show up at times in the late afternoon to make sure I was putting in my hours. He made me miserable. So much of my work took place outside the walls of the building, but he believed work was sitting in a chair at a desk for eight to nine hours a day. 

Work is not measured by the hours we sit at a desk in a chair. The world has changed. And since the pandemic, it has changed more rapidly than we ever thought possible.

 Good leaders will adjust and lead well in the virtual world.

We simply cannot do things the way we’ve always done them.

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Don’t Quit, Recommit

The church has not been exempted from the impact of the global pandemic and the massive shutdown. Businesses, schools, governmental operations, and travel have all been adversely affected.  Many churches have regathered for onsite worship, while many more are only offering online services. The full consequence of these necessary measures on ministries will not be evident for years to come.  

In recent months, I have been contacted by over a dozen senior pastors who are considering resigning from their churches due to the stress, strain, and constant demands being placed on them.  These are godly men who are reexamining their call to ministry and their ability to navigate their church in this constantly changing environment.  Personal insecurities, lack of training, family stress, congregational conflict, and inadequate personal financial stability are reasons given for resigning. 

In an effort to assist them as they discern the Lord’s will and wrestle with internal self-doubt, I have been careful not to make quick judgments on their fitness for ministry.  These men, who represent different ages, races, and tenure in ministry, are under tremendous pressures and need support, a listening ear, and a safe place to share their concerns.  In this post, I want to provide a few simple recommendations for those who are in similar circumstances or encounter a ministry leader who is considering stepping away from the ministry. 

Restore your calling by spending time with the Lord.

Are you hearing from the Lord or from your own internal frustration with the current circumstances?  Do you have consent from God to be released from your assignment? Do not make a move until you sense the inner peace of God because you may be responding to yourself more than God’s Spirit.

Recall the reasons you got into ministry. 

Try to remember the joy you experienced when you launched out in ministry years ago.  

Reminisce on the positive things you have accomplished. 

In difficult times it is easy to focus on what is not going well.  Therefore, develop a discipline to review the progress you have made.  Developing an attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving is a safeguard against negativity and despair. 

Remember you are more than what you do as a leader.

Take ownership of what you could have done better, but do not internalize the current challenges you face and attribute them to your leadership or personality.  Each of us struggle with self-doubt, but do not allow doubt to become a pattern of behavior because it will depress your ability to lead, think, and hear clearly the Lord’s voice.

Refresh your own soul by getting away for a short rest. 

Sometimes we overthink things and exhaust ourselves.  Never make life altering decisions when you are physically and emotionally depleted. 

Reach out to trusted friends and colleagues to get their advice. 

What do people who love and know you best say?  What does your spouse think? Have you discussed your weariness with a trusted advisor? Be completely vulnerable and share with them the full picture of what you face personally and corporately.  

Recommit by focusing on one thing you can positively affect.  

Perhaps you have been fixated on what is difficult instead of what is possible. Start making the necessary change to one area or program. The escalating effect of small successes strung together builds momentum and creates energy and synergy better than one phenomenal “Hail Mary” pass.

Resign only when you can leave well and finish strong.  

Try as best you can to resolve any broken relationships, make room for younger emerging leaders, leave the church in the best spiritual and financial position you can, and communicate with the church openly and honestly.

In my discussions with the few pastors I have talked with who are considering resigning from ministry, I have encouraged them to not quit, but to recommit if they do not have a clear leading from the Lord. 

 I sense that this season of transition we are all experiencing is a remarkable time of world-wide spiritual revival and renewal. Perhaps God is using this global pandemic to usher in the third Great Awakening that will transform the way the church engages and reaches the world with the Gospel. I believe God is calling new leaders and re-calling existing leaders to advance His Kingdom in new and innovative ways.  This is not a time to step away from ministry, but a time to step up and change the world.  The best is yet to come and it can flow through you!

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5 New Realities of First Impressions

There have been a lot of reinvented wheels in 2020. From working at home to masking up to providing a virtual option for nearly everything, we’ve all had to rethink those things that come naturally to us.

As churches begin to regather in person, our guest services and hospitality teams will have to undergo some of the most radical reinventions. Handshakes, hugs, and high fives are gone for a while. Up-close-and-personal conversations are frowned upon. And that time set aside to turn and greet your neighbor during the service? Yeah, roughly half of your people hated that well before COVID. Maybe it’s time to just let that one go.

So how do we welcome guests in the age of social distancing? I think there are at least five things to think about:

Know the plan and follow the plan.

If your church has a COVID response plan or reopening protocols, you and your team should know and follow those. It will be frustrating to your guests if they read one thing on the website, but see something else enforced. Make sure that you are aligned on talking points, rules, and what to do in the case of a tough conversation.

Be hospitable to every guest (and their accompanying perspective).

Some first-time guests are hungry to be around people. Their desire for relationships may override their fear of the pandemic. Other guests are going to be fearful of gathering with a large crowd – if they show up at all.

As hospitality directors, we have to be aware of all sides and respond accordingly. We shouldn’t shame people for being fearful or give them the side eye for being overly confident. They’re our honored guests, and we should treat them as such.

Re-train and de-train your volunteers. 

I have a lady on our team who is a championship hugger. If hugging were an Olympic sport, she’d be Michael Phelps. She – and others like her – are going to be among those who will have difficulty returning to their normal volunteer role. Taking away her hugs will be like clipping a bird’s wings.

You have huggers and hand-shakers too, but it’s important that they know the big win and follow the larger plan. Help them to be aware of varying fears and perspectives. Encourage them to scale back on physical touch for a while. And coach them on how to lead by example in following the rules of reopening.

Go as touch-free as possible.

Think through every moment of your guest’s experience from the time they pull up in the parking lot to the time they leave. What are the tactile interactions they’d normally have, and how should you rethink those? Some examples:

Your first-time guest tent. If you hand out a gift or ask for information, how can you move all of that to a digital format? Most church databases offer embedded forms that can be accessed from your guest’s smartphone. You can also display a QR code that would point them to a simple Google or Wufoo form. Instead of an informational brochure, point them to the website or a simple pdf. Instead of a coffee mug, send them a link to a $5 gift card to a local coffee shop.
Door handles. In normal times, we’d open the door for guests as an act of love. Now, we do it as an act of safety. Post volunteers at all doors (or prop them open if the weather is nice). In restrooms with inward-opening doors, consider installing a “foot pull” to keep hands germ-free.
Bulletins. Forego these super-spreaders for the time being, opting for a digital access version or simple prompts from the stage or screen. 
Offering plates. Think about the number of hands those plates pass through on a given weekend. Now is a great time to encourage online giving, or to post a few volunteers with buckets at the doors upon exit.
Communion. Rather than the typical cup-and-wafer in a common dish, consider switching to the pre-packaged options for the next several months. (The great news is, they have a shelf life of a century or two, so they won’t go to waste.)
Handshakes and hugs. We’ve addressed this a couple of times so far, but signage and stage announcements can go a long way to set a standard expectation. We have signs when you enter our facilities that say “Air high fives encouraged!” It’s a fun way to remind people that physical contact should be avoided for now. 


Let them know what’s not normal.

Very few of our guests will be showing up to the church that we know and love. Don’t hesitate to let them know about ministries you’d offer during normal times (coffee bar, kids’ environments, etc.), but also don’t dwell on the negative. It’s okay to point to a brighter future, but don’t make them regret showing up in the present. 

Those of us in the guest services world have challenging days ahead. But while our what may have changed, our why remains constant. Let’s show our guests the love of Christ and the life-changing power of the gospel!

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Twelve Principles for Change in the Established Church

Change efforts are never unanimous. Change efforts are too often reactive instead of proactive. Resistance to change is high. Ministry leaders can push too hard for change among the wrong people, at the wrong times, and in the wrong ways.

I might be understating the quandary of change in established churches. 

If we believe in the body of Christ, then ministry leaders must be change agents. Leaders quickly understand what needs to change, but the how of change is just as important. I’ve been guilty of rushing the what of change without taking time to consider how change should happen. Below are twelve principles to help ministry leaders understand how change needs to occur. 

Begin with prayer. If you don’t pray through change, then you will rely on your abilities instead of God’s sovereignty. Change without prayer is dangerous and foolish.
Love people more than change. Loving change more than people is not leadership. It’s selfishness.
Choose your battles. Everything may need to change. But if you want to change everything all at once, then you demonstrate two undesirable leadership traits: Unwillingness to compromise and an inability to prioritize.
Admit your mistakes. No one changes everything perfectly. Don’t pretend like you’ve got it all figured out. No one would believe you anyway.
Affirm traditions. Not everything in the past is bad. Speak positively of past traditions that still work.
Build on successes. Give credit to others for successes. Take personal responsibility for failures.
Allow for open discussion. Do not withhold information. Give people time to digest your proposals. Let the people have a voice.
Be wise in timing. Change can be emotional for people. Create buffers. Keep a long-term perspective.
Stay focused. When change needs to happen, don’t let distractions derail you.
Allow for a trial period. Change-resistant members can be comforted if the intrusion into their comfort zone may not be permanent. At the end of a trial period (I recommend one year), one of three decisions can be made. Extend the trial period. Reverse the change. Make the change permanent. In most established churches, after something has been going a year, most will say, “It’s the way we’ve always done it.”
Expect opposition. Some people will never be pleased. Some will initially push back. Work with those who are willing to listen. Pray for and love those who never listen.
Evaluate change. Not every change is good. Not every change will work. Be willing to admit it and move forward with new ideas.

All growing, healthy churches change. Every new person added to the body is a change. Great churches change. Great leaders know how to lead the change. 

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8 Reasons It’s Tough for Some Folks to Hear Us When We Preach

Not everyone listens to us when we preach, even when we’re in the same room. Here are some reasons some people struggle to listen:

Something’s happened during the week that’s captured all their attention. It’s usually a difficulty, and it’s usually something that consumes their mind so much it’s tough to hear anything else. I think particularly of family and work issues.
They’re typically so busy that just sitting still for any length of time—much less listening—is hard. Frankly, I’m one of those persons. I have to make myself listen, and it’s seldom easy.
Distractions in the worship service have already diverted their attention. The distraction can be anything, especially as the enemy wants people not to hear the Word (see #8 below). Anything from a cold room temperature to a crackling sound system to a crying baby or a sleeping adult can turn our attention elsewhere.
In some cases, we’ve hurt them in the past (or, at least that’s their perception), and they’ve never moved beyond that. They still come to church because it’s their church, but they find it hard to listen to us without remembering yesterday’s situation.
Sometimes we’re boring. The problem is that we usually don’t recognize it, and few people are honest enough to tell us. They love us as their pastor. They wouldn’t want to hurt us—so they tolerate boredom but don’t listen.
They’re frustrated with the music part of the worship service. In some cases, they cling to their personal preferences and create division; in other cases, the music portion of the service really isn’t good. In either case, it’s hard to redirect their attention to the preaching.
We give meaty content with no application. That is, our listeners can recognize we’ve studied, and they’ll talk about how knowledgeable their preacher is—but they don’t expect to hear anything they can readily apply to their lives.
Satan and his forces are snatching the Word from them. Jesus warned us that would happen (Mark 4:15). Satan’s snatching the entire time we’re sowing. For that reason, I encourage preachers to help listeners know what the enemy’s doing—and challenge them to listen more intentionally.

What reasons would you add?

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Six COVID Controversies in Churches Today

They contact our team daily. 

They want to make the right decision, but it seems that any decision gets them in trouble. 

Pastors in churches around the world are, like all of us, navigating a new reality. It’s not a new normal; it is truly a new reality. 

These pastors, of course, have never been confronted with these types of controversies. They love their church members, but the church members are not always loving them back. 

Here are the six most common controversies we are hearing from pastors as they contact Church Answers. The list, of course, is not exhaustive nor is it mutually exclusive. 

Mask vs. no mask. This one is by far the most common. Members get mad if masks are required. Members get mad if masks aren’t required. Masks or no masks for some members become a sign of political affiliation.


Social distance vs. no social distance. As an introvert, I have been practicing social distancing all my life. But some members don’t like it. Yet, if you don’t practice social distancing in the church, some members don’t like that either.


Change vs. no change. Of course, this debate is not new. But the pace of change has been exacerbated by the pandemic. Some members don’t understand why the church can’t get back to the way it’s always done it. Other members think it’s time to move rapidly before the blank slate becomes cluttered. 


Same personnel vs. change in personnel. One church discovered during the pandemic it really did not need a full-time receptionist. Relatively few people came in the church facilities pre-COVID, and the number dropped to almost zero from the quarantine to today. The leaders deleted the position. Some members are really mad. 


Zoom vs. no Zoom. Just like a number of employees liked the digital opportunity to work from anywhere, so did many church members who connected with other church members through Zoom or some other video technology. This debate is particularly evident in the ministry of small groups. Some want to keep the ministry digital. Others want to meet in person. The pastor wants two ibuprofen. 


Regather vs. don’t regather. For many churches, this season of regathering is in its early transitional stage. As more members return and regather, a number of members are choosing to remain digital. We are now hearing about divisions of members between the regathered and the digital. 

It seems the one area where we need to focus more powerfully is grace. We need to show grace to pastors and other church leaders who feel like they are making lose-lose decisions. We need to show grace to members who are not ready to regather. Some of them are elderly. Some of them have young children and are not ready to expose them to crowds. Some have underlying conditions that make them more vulnerable. Some of them have loved ones who are sick or who have died. 

Maybe our focus for this season should be more of a focus on grace. After all, we have been shown grace by a Savior who died for us.

The least we can do is to demonstrate grace and an attitude of humility to those with whom we may have different opinions.

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Overcoming Decision Fatigue

I was tired.

If you could have asked me about 3 months ago, I would have told you that I was tired of making decisions as a pastor. This year has been full of decision-making. Decisions that I never expected to make. Decisions that I didn’t feel equipped to make. And I was tired of making decisions.

But don’t miss the past-tense of my statement. I was tired of making decisions. Today, I’m energized in my decision-making.

So, what changed?

I learned something about myself this year as a leader. I don’t like to make decisions if I don’t know where I am leading my church. I don’t make good decisions if I don’t know where I am leading my church.

Several months ago, I sat down with my church leadership team and asked two questions: “Where are we going?” and “Why do we do what we do?” While there was some commonality, there was not uniformity in their answers. It became clear to me then. We were trying to make decisions without knowing where the decisions would lead us.

Decision fatigue had set in.

It was at this point that my main goal was to have clear answers to both of those questions. I wanted the church that I get to lead to have clear answers to both of those questions. We found the answers to those questions and developed a new vision, mission, and strategy for the church. We defined why we do what we do and where we are going as a church.

While this may seem basic (and it is), it can be an easy oversight in church leadership. I think we far too often focus on how or what we do as a church, rather than why we do what we do as a church. And probably the biggest omission (at least it was to me) was not having a clearly defined strategy. We re-articulated our vision and mission, but equally important, we clearly defined our strategy. We know clearly where we are going in the next 15 months.

Vision and mission are simply words on a page without a strategy.

Now, I’m excited to make decisions. In fact, the decisions are pretty easy now. Why? Because we know where we are going as a church and why we are going there.

While this may not be THE answer to church leader decision fatigue, it might be YOUR answer right now. If it is, I hope you’ll think about where you are going as a church and why you are going there.

And hopefully very soon, you’ll be able to say, “I was tired” too.

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Don’t be Afraid to Pay for Social Media Ads

Let’s recap the economics of how social media companies work. Your church gives the social media companies free content (video, photos, etc…). In exchange they provide a free service that will connect your church with social media users. 

Of course, somewhere in this exchange, the social media companies need to make money, so they sell ads to companies who can then target users based on what their users display an interest in. Therefore the more users that join their social media platform and use it, the more money the social media platform can make.  

Social media platforms have one goal: keeping users engaged. Whether that’s watching videos, interacting with comments, or just scrolling through articles, they want to keep the users on their platform for as long as possible. By keeping users engaged on their platforms, they can charge companies to show ads to their users. 

However, social media platforms’ goals often do not align with most churches. For most churches, the goal of social media is getting the word out about their events and programs with the hope that the viewer will click on the social media and leave the platform to view the content on the church website.

So how do we solve this problem?

Most churches’ first reaction is to see if they can create more engaging content that will organically reach people.  And while that should be a consistent strategy with creating content, it doesn’t always solve the problem. 

So eventually at some point we will need to pay for social media ads. That’s right at some point, your church will need pay to promote its events and programs. So let’s talk through some key things you need to know about paying for social media ads. 

You can do it yourself. You don’t need to hire an expert to run ads on Facebook or Instagram. Social media platforms have made running ads a self guided process. While it doesn’t hurt to consult with an expert, your church does not need to spend additional dollars on social media experts to run your ads. In fact, just a quick search on YouTube will give you plenty of free tutorials on how to place ads on social media.

Know who your advertising is. If you can identify who you want to target with your social media ads, then you’re halfway there. Spend some time thinking about who you want to reach with your ads. What do they like? Where do they live? What do they care about? Identify those things and then you’ll have more success with your ads, because they’ll go to the right people 

Start small with your budget. One of the great things about advertising on social media is that you get immediate feedback on whether or not your ads are working. So start with a small budget and then test to see if the ads are working. If they’re not working try adjusting images, videos, or text that are on your ads. Or look into adjusting who your target audience is. 

Don’t be afraid to pay for social media ads. It will require some practice and repetition, but these newly acquired skills will pay huge dividends in the long run as social media grows in usage. 

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Three Filters for Helping to Discern God’s Call

When I started pastoring, I had little doubt I would remain a co-vocational pastor indefinitely. I enjoyed my corporate job. I clearly understood my calling to pastor. In what I thought was an ideal arrangement, I served my church in the evenings and on the weekends while maintaining my day job. But after two years God called me to serve another church full-time. The season of ministry changed. My income went down, and my stress went up. But—for the most part—I remained content.

A certain (uncomfortable) peace comes with following God’s call.

 A few years ago, I started a group in my church dubbed “Project Shepherd.” The goal of the group was to equip men called to lead the church—future preachers, pastors, and missionaries. When I floated the idea to my church, little did I know two dozen men would step forward and acknowledge God had called them. The group was four times the size of my first church.

 Hearing them verbalize their callings brought back emotions from the beginning of my calling. I was certain God had called me to pastor. I was not certain exactly what that meant. The guys in my Project Shepherd group knew they were called, but like me, the did not know what was next. The common theme with this group was the question, “How do I know what I’m supposed to do?”

 I shared with my group three filters for early discernment: position, church, and place. These three frames can help narrow a calling.

 Position. Some church leaders are called to a specific position. For instance, you may know college ministry is where God is leading you. It doesn’t matter where you serve geographically. It doesn’t matter in what church or ministry you serve. All that matters is serving college students. If you’re called to a specific position, then you can be more open to serving in a variety of geographic settings and churches.

 Church. Some are called to a specific church. The position does not matter as much as serving a particular local congregation. Those called to serve a specific church have the freedom to volunteer and the flexibility to serve in a variety of positions.

 Place. Some are called to a specific place. Whether it is a cross-cultural setting or a region, state, or city in the United States, those with this calling are drawn to a specific geographic spot. Those called to a particular place may not even have a clear understanding of the ministry or position, but they know clearly where they are to serve.

 As you work through a calling, God lifts the veil of uncertainty and begins to refine the call. Praying through a position, church, or place, however, can help with early discernment in this process. Today, several of those who were in the original Project Shepherd group are now serving in a variety of positions, churches, and places. No one could have predicted their current callings, but the early discernment process helped prepare them for where they are now.

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