Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 376

Listening to Negative People Will Make You Dumb

We all know those “energy drainers.” They are the people that seem to have a perpetual cloud hanging over their heads. They have the keen ability to turn good news into bad news. Yes, they are the kind of people you avoid asking “How are you?” for fear they will give you an answer. Some are critics. Some are simply just negative people.

Brain Studies and Negative People

Minda Zatlin reports in Inc. magazine that new research in neuroscience demonstrates how negative and critical people affect us. She notes that “being exposed to too much complaining can actually make you dumb. Research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity – including viewing such material on TV – actually peels away neurons in the brain’s hippocampus. That’s the part of your brain you need for problem solving.”

So what is the result of exposure to negative and critical people? “Basically it turns your brain to mush,” the article notes. It has the same effect even if you are passively listening to them.

What’s a Leader to Do?

Those in leadership positions are in a dilemma it would seem. Every position of leadership will always be exposed to negative and critical people. It goes with the responsibility.

Though leaders cannot avoid negative people entirely, we can incorporate some tactics that will help us deal with the matter more effectively.

Discern the difference between the negative critic and the constructive critic. You really want to hear the latter person. You want to avoid the former if at all possible. Avoid negative media. Many leaders are drawn to negative television, radio, print media, and blogs like an onlooker is drawn to a car wreck. We just want to look. Before you begin reading or listening to the negativity next time, just remember that you will walk away dumber. Have a spirit of rejoicing. The Apostle Paul writes this imperative in Scripture: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4). The mandate is not only to rejoice, but to rejoice at all times. If we are allowing thoughts of rejoicing into our minds, we don’t allow the words of negative persons and critics to enter. Choose your friends wisely. Avoid friends who are negative and embrace those who are not. You are likely to spend a lot of time with your friends. Make certain the time is well spent. Be a positive person. You will attract other positive people. And you may dissuade the negative person from being so negative.

Leadership Requires Focus

One of the greatest dangers a leader faces is to lose his or her focus. Much is expected of leaders. Indeed much is demanded of leaders. A constant barrage of negativity can prove to be extremely harmful to the leader and to the organization he or she leads.

And now we have medical and scientific evidence that shows the detrimental effects of negativity on the brain. It’s not a pretty picture.

So next time you are confronted with a negative or critical person, consider practicing some of the tactics noted above. You might come away a happier person. You might come away a better leader. And you might even come away a bit smarter or, at the very least, not any dumber.

Pray for . . . Allentown Bible Church

Location: Allentown, Pennsylvania (Lehigh Valley area) 1 ½ hour from NY City and Philadelphia.

Pastor: Rick Dobrowlski

Weekly Worship: 10:00 AM Eastern Time

Fast Facts: Allentown Bible Church is a new church plant, which held their first official service in the Eastside Youth Center, Allentown, Pennsylvania on January 22, 2012. They are not self-sustaining as yet. Upcoming community involvement includes, the Allentown Fair and a missions group efforts for which they are requesting prayer. They are the 12th neediest metro area in America, with 1 evangelical church for every 6200 people.

Connect: Website | Twitter

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well. If you would like your church to be featured in “Pray for . . .” contact Steve Drake, director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com .

Four Ways to Create an Evangelistic Culture in Your Church

I recently wrote an article that offered ten questions to help you diagnose the evangelistic health of your church. A couple of the readers asked insightful questions related to the culture of a church. Specifically, they wanted to know how a church could create a culture to become more evangelistic.

While the creation of an evangelistic culture cannot be reduced to a simple formulaic approach, I can offer four suggestions of a more practical nature.

Church Culture Shift #1: Leadership Must Model a Passion for Evangelism. The first church I served as pastor had not seen one person become a Christian in 26 years. Rather than complain to the congregation about their evangelistic ineptness, I began praying for opportunities for me to be a gospel witness in the community. I was amazed how many doors God opened. I was amazed to see how many people responded positively to the gospel. And I was amazed to see how others began to follow my leadership example. Within one year the church that had seen no baptisms in 26 years had, ironically, 26 baptisms in one year.

Church Culture Shift #2: Ask one Sunday school class or small group to become an evangelistic group for one year. This approach creates a system of accountability on a small scale. That one small group understands that it has been selected to be an example for the rest of the church. Watch what will happen within that one group. Watch how the group members become more intentionally evangelistic. Watch how they will become more prayerfully creative and excited to reach people with the gospel.

Church Culture Shift #3: Begin a small-scale evangelistic mentoring approach. Again, asking a person to mentor another person engenders accountability. In my first church, I mentored a new Christian named Steve. I taught him how to begin a conversation about Jesus. We worked together on the essential elements of a gospel presentation. At first we went together to talk with those who weren’t Christians. Steve eventually became more comfortable sharing Christ on his own, and he soon began mentoring someone as I had mentored him.

Church Culture Shift #4: Make certain corporate prayers include praying for the lost. Most church members are not hesitant to pray for the physical needs of people. But rare is the church that prays together for those who are not Christians. A few churches, though, pray for lost people by name. Others are more comfortable praying in general for the non-Christians in the community. As the church begins to pray for the lostness of her community, God often begins to demonstrate clear answers to those prayers. And the culture of the church becomes decidedly more evangelistic in its culture as the prayers are infused with a burden for those who are not followers of Jesus Christ.

Of course, these four suggested church culture shifts are far from exhaustive. In many ways, they are but a starting point.

What would you add to this list? What is your church doing to create a more evangelistic culture?

Pastor to Pastor is the Saturday blog series at ThomRainer.com. Pastors and staff, if we can help in any way, contact Steve Drake, our director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com . We also welcome contacts from laypersons in churches asking questions about pastors, churches, or the pastor search process.

Friday is for Freebies: The Millennials & Simple Life

My giveaway this Friday is the HCSB Study Bible and a pair of books: The Millennials and Simple Life.

I wrote earlier in the week about the influence parents have on Millennials, so it's the first item in this week's giveaway. At more than 78 million strong, the Millennials—those born between 1980 and 2000—have surpassed the Boomers as the larger and more influential generation in America. Now, as its members begin to reach adulthood, where the traits of a generation really take shape, the book presents the first major investigative work on Millennials from a Christian worldview perspective. The Millennials is based on more than 1,200 interviews with its namesakes that aim to better understand them personally, professionally, and spiritually.

Also, since many of you are dealing with the "back-to-school" rush this month, I'm including a copy of Simple Life. It breaks life down into four key sections (God, Time, Relationships, Money), and shows how four key goals (Clarity, Movement, Alignment, Focus) can begin to foster a life that is more spiritual and less busy, a life rich in experiences with family and friends rather than double-booked to-do lists and late nights at the office. The book even lays out an easy-to-follow action plan that will move you toward the simple life in just thirty days.

The final item is the black, genuine leather version of the HCSB Study Bible, a comprehensive, easy to read, and easy to use Bible, with features and formats specifically designed to enhance your Bible study experience. You can also go to MyStudyBible.com and dive right in for a complete digital experience.

This Bible has a retail price of $79.99 and features 15,000 study notes, 290 Hebrew and Greek word studies, 66 highly detailed book introductions, 62 maps, 27 topical articles, 20 charts, and 18 illustrations, all focusing on the most important topics and questions in Bible study.

To be eligible to win, tell us about your favorite city or town.

The deadline to enter is midnight CDT this Saturday. We will draw one winner from the entries on Monday morning.

Notable Voices (August 23, 2012)

Pastors, Politics, and Twitter -- Art Rainer

With the election season looming and politics already taking an ugly turn, it is good to remember that this will be the first Presidential election with Twitter as a mainstream means of communication. That will inevitably lead to a few poorly-considered tweets. And as a pastor, it means you must watch your social media interactions even more closely.

Generation Read: Millennials Buy More Books Than Everybody Else -- Liz Dwyer

Earlier this week, I wrote on the influence parents have on Millennials. Good magazine has also found that Millennials are reading more than any generation in existence. This should serve as a reminder that not only what we say and love out will influnece this generation, but both what they read and what we write will as well.

5 Things Love Isn’t -- Dan Darling

Many of us arel familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, and what it says love is. Dan takes that one step further with a short list of what love is not.

Who Does What? Five Observations on Clarifying Leadership Roles -- Tony Morgan

I've been reading a lot lately on organizational health. Patrick Lencioni even calls it "the most important advantage companies can have" in his latest book. One key to having a healthy organization is having defined leadership roles, and Tony does a fine job at laying out how best to clarify those roles.

What is an “Ideal Church Member”? -- Charles Arn

My "I Am a Church Member" post was one of the most-read posts ever on this blog. The theme resonated with members of both large and small churches and with laymen and clergy alike. Charles provides a quick examination of the ideal church member in this post.

Are You Sure You're Not a Bad Boss? -- Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman

Some new research was released this month on the characteristics of a bad boss. These top ten traits would be useful for every boss to contemplate in a time of self-examination.

Ten Questions to Diagnose the Evangelistic Health of Your Church

Any good physician will make certain your physical exam includes at least three components. First, the doctor will want you to have thorough lab work. Second, all exams include a comprehensive look at your physical body. Third, the physician will ask you a series of questions that would lead him or her to know more about your overall physical and emotional health.

In my work with churches across America, I often ask a series of questions that help me assist the church to become more evangelistically focused. Recently, I took time to write down the questions I ask most often. Look at these ten questions to get at least some hints of the evangelistic health of your own church.

Are members more concerned about the lost than their own preferences and comfort? Listen to how church members talk to understand what their true priorities are. Is the church led to pray for lost persons? Most churches are pretty good about praying for those who have physical needs. But do they pray for those who have the greatest spiritual need, a relationship with Jesus Christ? Are the members of the church open to reaching people who don’t look or act like them? The gospel breaks all racial, ethnic, and language barriers. Do the members seek to reach others? Do they rejoice when these people become a part of the church? Do conflicts and critics zap the evangelistic energy of the church? An evangelistic church is a united church. A divided church is rarely evangelistic. Do small groups and Sunday school classes seek to reach lost persons within their groups? Sunday school was once one of the most effective evangelistic tools in the church. Are the groups in your church evangelistic? Is the leadership of the church evangelistic? The congregation will follow and emulate the priorities of the church leadership. Do the sermons regularly communicate the gospel? They may not be evangelistic sermons in the classic sense, but all sermons should point people to Jesus. Are there ministries in the church that encourage members to be involved in evangelistic outreach and lifestyle? You may be surprised to find how many members become evangelistic with a modest amount of training and equipping. Have programs become ends in themselves rather than means to reach people? Perhaps a total ministry and program audit is in order. Is there any process of accountability for members to be more evangelistic? That which is rewarded and expected becomes the priority of the congregation.

After their imprisonment for sharing the gospel with others, Peter and John appeared before the Sanhedrin who demanded their silence. Listen to how the two Apostles, with their lives on the line, responded to their accusers: “But Peter and John answered them, ‘Whether it’s right in the sight of God for us to listen to you rather than to God, you decide; for we are unable to stop speaking about what we have seen and heard’” (Acts 4:19-20, HCSB).

I pray that more and more of our church members have the heart and attitude exemplified by Peter and John. May we be so motivated to share the gospel that we are unable to stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.

How would you assess the evangelistic health of your church? What questions would you ask for a good diagnosis?

The Parental Factor

The research we gathered for The Millennials showed that Millennials (those born between 1980 and 2000) are strongly connected to their parents. We cited how important family is to this generation. Indeed there is not a close second in importance. Family was deemed really important in life by 61 percent of the Millennials. The second most important factor was friends, at only 25 percent.

Again, once we delve into all the family matters, the relationship between parents and Millennials is nothing less than remarkable. More than one-half (51 percent) of the generation says that their parents have a strongly positive influence on their lives. Another 37 percent say the influence is somewhat positive. The remainder of the Millennials say that parents have no influence (9 percent) or negative influence (3 percent).

Let’s summarize these astounding statistics once more. Nearly nine out of ten (88 percent) of the Millennials look to their parents as a positive influence, and only 3 percent view the parents negatively. Also, 85 percent of the Millennials look to their parents as their primary source of advice and guidance.

These numbers are important for two main reasons. First, I want to remind you of the powerful influence of parents on this generation. Second, we need to see how this influence affects Millennials in matters of faith and religion.

In the subjective portion of our study, we noticed an interesting and significant trend. Millennials tend to follow the examples of their parents in matters of faith, but they also tend to take the level of commitment one step further. For example, a Millennial with parents who were nominal Christians is likely to divorce himself or herself altogether from Christianity and churches. But a Millennial whose parents demonstrated some fervency in their Christian faith is likely to become even more fervent.

The bottom line is that most Millennials will not be lukewarm in their Christian faith. Most of them have made the decision not to embrace Christianity and to be forthright about their beliefs. Again, for them religion is not a major issue as it was with their parents. Many of their parents at least affirmed some low level of Christian commitment. The Millennial children no longer will play that game. The vast majority is declaring that religion in general, and Christianity in particular, is not high on their list of priorities.

Many consider themselves to be theistic, believing in one god. But they have not embraced the Christian faith, and they view religion in general to be relatively unimportant in their lives.

There is, however, another perspective to the parental influence of the Christian faith on Millennials. In most cases where the parents showed true commitment to Christ and to their local church, their children have embraced that faith for themselves. But like those who turned away, who took their parents’ nominal commitment one step further, a few Millennials will take a true commitment one step further to a fervent commitment. These Millennials will likely be few in number but may very well demonstrate the greatest Christian commitment of any generation in America’s history.

These Millennials are the hope for the American church and for Christianity in America.

While I would not suggest the present-day Millennial Generation is preparing for another experience of Pentecost, I do see some parallels worth noting.

First, the Millennial Christians are relatively few in number. Again, I am reticent to estimate with any claim of precision, but I have suggested the number of Christians in this generation is 15 percent of their total. In round numbers, let’s just say there are twelve million Millennial Christians.

You’re right. Twelve million is a lot more than the 120 of the early church at Pentecost. But in the context of 300 million U.S. residents or a world population of nearly seven billion, the number is small.

But what I learned about this relatively small number of Millennial Christians is that they are passionate about their faith. They have no patience for business as usual. They see the urgent need to share the gospel and to start new churches. And they will not wait on tired, established churches to get the work done.

Though some of their fervency may need some wise guidance, the Millennial Christians have a burning fire within them that can revolutionize churches to make a kingdom difference. How will churches in America respond? Will they embrace the energy and zeal of the Millennials, or will they disregard this generation and force these young people to venues of ministry beyond existing churches?

What will it take for churches today to embrace the Millennials and to capture their passion for reaching their neighborhoods and for reaching the nations? What will it take for churches to reach the rest of the nearly seventy-eight million Millennials who are not Christians? I know that the statistics on the American church are dismal and have been so for nearly half a century.

I see the presence of the Millennial Generation as a great opportunity offering much hope for the coming years. But the American church cannot do business as usual. Many changes are sorely needed.

Yet there is indeed hope.

How has your church engaged Millennial Chrisitans? What can you do better to reach them? What might you be doing currently that turns them off?

Adapted from The Millennials (2011, Broadman & Holman Publishing Group)

Ten Commandments for Flying

I have flown over two million miles, and I have witnessed so many weird, dumb, and rude things while flying. But I have also witnessed many good and noble things. I recently saw a person give up his seat to a soldier who was on standby. The soldier was returning from Afghanistan and had not seen his family in over a year.

So with the perspective of the good, the bad, and the ugly, I have devised my own ten commandments for flying. Some are positive and some are, well, not.

Thou shall be kind to your fellow passengers. Everyone has struggles and problems. A kind word can make a world of difference.Thou shall not talk loudly on your cell phone during those times you are permitted to talk. We are glad you love your spouse and that the burger was great, but that's not for the world to know.Thou shall help elderly passengers and others who need assistance. Traveling for many is a big physical burden. Help lighten their burden.Thou shall not wear heavy perfume or cologne. If the passenger next to you is gagging, you know you overdid it.Thou shall be kind to young moms who have crying children. These moms are stressed and don't need your indignation to stress them further.Thou shall not eat smelly foods on the plane. Not only do the foods smell, flatulence typically follows.Thou shall make certain your carry-on luggage fits in the overhead bins. We may be delayed as the flight attendants take your luggage and check it in.Thou shall not take off your shoes during the flight. You may think it's comfortable, but the rest of the passengers will be tempted to find the nearest midair exit.Thou shall fly only when you're healthy. Otherwise the recycled air will deliver your influenza germs to all the passengers.Thou shall not make dumb comments that include words like "bomb," "gun," "hijack," or "terrorist." If thou does make those dumb comments, be prepared to spend time with a lot of new friends in confined quarters.

So what do you think of my ten commandments? What would you change? What would you add?

Pray for . . . Trinity Baptist Church

Location: Ocala, Florida

Pastor: Phil Wade

Weekly Worship: 8:00 & 10:45 AM Eastern Time

Fast Facts: Trinity Baptist Church in Ocala, Florida is an evangelistic congregation using the slogan, “We love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Pastor Phil Wade has served this church for 5 years and asks that we pray God would give him wisdom & discernment as he seeks to lead the people here in Ocala and that God would keep him close and clean as he strives to be God's miracle delivery agent.

Connect: Website | Twitter

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well. If you would like your church to be featured in “Pray for . . .” contact Steve Drake, director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com .

What Do Pastors Read?

We know that pastors read the Bible and Christian books. Those two sources of information would rank highest in their reading frequency. But what do pastors read when they delve into those materials that are not explicitly for spiritual growth?

In our study we specifically asked the pastors about their frequency of reading secular leadership books and blogs. The responses may surprise you.

The Popularity of Secular Leadership/Business Books

Stated simply, I was surprised at the responses to the question: “About how many secular leadership or business books do you read in a year?" More than seven in ten pastors read at least one such book a year, and one out of four read at least four of these books.

I must admit that the books’ popularity surprised me. Even the outliers caught me off guard. Ten percent of pastors read at least seven secular leadership or business books a year. That’s more than one every other month. Here are the specific results:

None: 28% 1 to 3: 48% 4 to 6: 14% 7 to 10: 6% 11 to 15: 2% More than 15: 2%

There were no significant statistical differences in readership among the different geographical regions of the United States. Frequency of reading these books tended to increase with the size of the church the pastor served. Similarly, frequency of reading secular and business leadership books tended to increase with the age of the pastor as well. The older the pastor, the more likely he would read these books regularly.

Blogs: Somewhat Popular

Despite their relative brevity, blogs were not as popular with pastors as the secular leadership and business books. Nevertheless, slightly over half of the pastors responded that they read at least one blog a week. Those who read blogs tend to read one to three a week.

We asked pastors: “In a typical week, how many different bloggers do you read?" Here are their responses:

None: 48% 1 to 3: 31% 4 to 6: 12% 7 to 10: 6%11 to 15: 2% More than 15: 1%

There were no significant regional differences in the responses, but there were clear differences according to the age of the pastor and the size of the church. Not surprisingly, younger pastors were much more likely to read blogs than older pastors. And they typically read them with greater frequency.

The larger the church the pastor served, the more likely he reads blogs, and he also reads them with greater frequency. Smaller church pastors were least likely to read any blogs during the week. Six out of ten pastors of churches with a worship attendance under 50 never read blogs.

What Are the Implications?

We can certainly look at these numbers from many different angles. The big takeaway in this study is that both blogs and secular and business leadership books are very popular among pastors. The magnitude of the responses certainly was a surprise to me.

And while certain groups of pastors are more likely to read these sources than others, there is no pastor group as a whole that is uninterested in these types of reading materials. And we believe that future longitudinal studies will demonstrate that these trends will continue.

What are the implications of these trends? What is your level of interest in both sources of reading? Why do pastors turn to these sources? Let me hear from you.

*In the months of April and May 2012, 1,066 SBC pastors participated in a survey asking a number of questions. The sampling was weighted to represent accurately churches by worship size and geographic location. The sample provides a 95% confidence that the sampling error does not exceed +/- 3.0%. Margins of error are higher in sub-groups

Pastor to Pastor is the Saturday blog series at ThomRainer.com. Pastors and staff, if we can help in any way, contact Steve Drake, our director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com . We also welcome contacts from laypersons in churches asking questions about pastors, churches, or the pastor search process.