Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 374

Seven Common Comments Non-Christians Make about Christians

One of my greatest joys in research is talking to and listening to those who clearly identify themselves as non-Christians. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not celebrating their absence of faith in Christ. My joy comes from listening to those who don’t believe as I do, so that I might be better equipped to witness to them.

Over the past several years, my research teams and I have interviewed thousands of unchurched non-Christians. Among the more interesting insights I gleaned were those where the interviewees shared with me their perspectives of Christians.

In this article, I group the seven most common types of comments in order of frequency. I then follow that representative statement with a direct quote from a non-Christian. Read these comments and see if you learn some of the lessons I learned.

Christians are against more things than they are for. “It just seems to me that Christians are mad at the world and mad at each other. They are so negative that they seem unhappy. I have no desire to be like them and stay upset all the time.” I would like to develop a friendship with a Christian. “I’m really interested in what they believe and how they carry out their beliefs. I wish I could find a Christian that would be willing to spend some time with me.” I would like to learn about the Bible from a Christian. “The Bible really fascinates me, but I don’t want to go to a stuffy and legalistic church to learn about it. I would be nice if a Christian invited me to study the Bible in his home or at a place like Starbucks.” I don’t see much difference in the way Christians live compared to others. “I really can’t tell what a Christian believes because he doesn’t seem much different than other people I know. The only exception would be Mormons. They really seem to take their beliefs seriously.” I wish I could learn to be a better husband, wife, dad, mom, etc., from a Christian. “My wife is threatening to divorce me, and I think she means it this time. My neighbor is a Christian, and he seems to have it together. I am swallowing my pride and asking him to help me.” Some Christians try to act like they have no problems. “Harriett works in my department. She is one of those Christians who seem to have a mask on. I would respect her more if she didn’t put on such an act. I know better.” I wish a Christian would take me to his or her church. “I really would like to visit a church, but I’m not particularly comfortable going by myself. What is weird is that I am 32-years old, and I’ve never had a Christian invite me to church in my entire life.”

Do you see the pattern? Non-Christians want to interact with Christians. They want to see Christians’ actions match their beliefs. They want Christians to be real.

In one study we conducted, we found that only five percent of non-Christians are antagonistic toward Christians. It’s time to stop believing the lies we have been told. Jesus said it clearly: “The harvest is abundant, but the workers are few. Therefore, pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest” (Luke10:2, HCSB).

Satan is the author of excuses. There is no reason to wait to reach those who don’t know Jesus Christ. We must go now. The harvest is waiting. And the Lord of the harvest has prepared the way.

Pastor to Pastor is the Saturday blog series at ThomRainer.com. Pastors and staff, if we can help in any way, contact Steve Drake, our director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com. We also welcome contacts from laypersons in churches asking questions about pastors, churches, or the pastor search process.

Friday is for Freebies: October Baby & the HCSB Study Bible

The first item in this week's giveaway is the Every Life Is Beautiful small group kit, a 4-session study which takes participants through a journey of overarching themes from the movie October Baby. Through movie scenes, Bible study, and group discussion questions, students will dig deep into the power of secrets, forgiveness, who they are in Jesus Christ, and restoration. This uplifting film paired with this heart-hitting study will change the way you look at the world, family, and life.

The second is the black, genuine leather version of the HCSB Study Bible. This Bible has a retail price of $79.99 and features 15,000 study notes, 290 Hebrew and Greek word studies, 66 highly detailed book introductions, 62 maps, 27 topical articles, 20 charts, and 18 illustrations, all focusing on the most important topics and questions in Bible study.

To be eligible to win, answer the following question:

What is the first time you can remember getting in trouble?

The deadline to enter is midnight CDT this Saturday. We will draw one winner from the entries on Monday morning.

Notable Voices (September 13, 2012)

Ministering During Personal Tragedy -- Jess Rainer

My son, Jess, and his wife are expecting their third child next week. Jess recently wrote this article on ministering to families who have suffered personal tragedy as he reflected on the season of life he and Rachel endured following the death of Will almost two years ago.

17 Leadership Laws -- Mark Batterson

While pastoring a thriving church in the shadow of Capitol Hill, Mark Batterson likely sees both the good and bad of leadership on a daily basis. Here are a few things he's learned along the way.

The Importance of the Pastoral “I Don’t Know” -- Jared Wilson

As a pastor, it's tempting to act like you have all the answers. Sometimes, however, it is better to simply admit that you don't. Jared provides four specific reason as to why that's true.

Stop Trying to Fix People’s Problems -- Sam Rainer

As a segue of sorts from the previous article, Sam advises pastors and church leaders to stop trying to be the one who fixes people's problems. God is the Great Healer, not you.

5 Ways to Help the Church When You Struggle to Support the Pastor -- Ron Edmondson

Every pastor knows he will have critics. It comes with the territory. It's also likely that at some point every church member will be a critic. Ron offers five ways to react when you find yourself not fully supporting your pastor.

Notable Voices (Semptember 13, 2012)

Ministering During Personal Tragedy -- Jess Rainer

My son, Jess, and his wife are expecting their third child next week. Jess recently wrote this article on ministering to families who have suffered personal tragedy as he reflected on the season of life he and Rachel endured following the death of Will almost two years ago.

17 Leadership Laws -- Mark Batterson

While pastoring a thriving church in the shadow of Capitol Hill, Mark Batterson likely sees both the good and bad of leadership on a daily basis. Here are a few things he's learned along the way.

The Importance of the Pastoral “I Don’t Know” -- Jared Wilson

As a pastor, it's tempting to act like you have all the answers. Sometimes, however, it is better to simply admit that you don't. Jared provides four specific reason as to why that's true.

Stop Trying to Fix People’s Problems -- Sam Rainer

As a segue of sorts from the previous article, Sam advises pastors and church leaders to stop trying to be the one who fixes people's problems. God is the Great Healer, not you.

5 Ways to Help the Church When You Struggle to Support the Pastor -- Ron Edmondson

Every pastor knows he will have critics. It comes with the territory. It's also likely that at some point every church member will be a critic. Ron offers five ways to react when you find yourself not fully supporting your pastor.

Ten Commandments for Grandparents

My fifth and sixth grandchildren are due in the next week and three weeks respectively. As an “experienced” granddad of three years, here are ten commandments that Rad Rad (my name to my grandchildren) tries to follow.

Thou shalt show your grandchildren unconditional love. They should see you as a refuge of grace. Thou shalt not interfere with the rules established by the parents. It will confuse your grandchildren and frustrate your children. Thou shalt initiate communication with and, if possible, visits to your grandchildren. Don’t always wait on them to come to you. Thou shalt not tell the parents how you raised them to suggest to them a better way to raise their children. Thou shalt pray for your grandchildren daily. Thou shalt not show favoritism of one grandchild over another. You can love each of them “the most.” Thou shalt tell your grandchildren about Jesus when they are young and not so young. Thou shalt not buy gifts for your grandchildren of which their parents may not approve. Hint: Ask about the drum set. Thou shalt speak positively about the grandchildren’s parents to the grandchildren. Your grandchildren adore their parents. Affirm that love and admiration. Thou shalt not ignore the parents of your grandchildren. They are still your children, and they still need your love and approval.

Leadership Matters, but So Does Preaching

God uses pastors in many diferent ways. He uses them to cast vision. He works through pastors to set the tone in churches and to be examples for others to follow. Unfortunately some churches won’t follow good leaders no matter what. They would rather die than change. And they usually get the former for forsaking the latter.

Still, leadership matters. Leadership is critical. And the most visible aspect of leadership for the pastor takes place in the pulpit. For better or worse, the people in the church are watching and listening. Most of them do not expect the pastor to have the oratory skills of a well-known pastor. They do not expect him to have the exegetical insights of some of the most brilliant preachers in the land.

But they do have expectations.

They expect pastors to be prepared in the pulpit. They know, for the most part, who’s winging it and who has prepared. They expect the pastor to teach them about God’s Word. In many ways the preaching event is sacred. The people want to hear from God and His Word. They expect the pastor to open the Bible and teach them what God says.

And they expect him to make the Bible relevant to their lives. While they may be fascinated by some esoteric doctrine, they ultimately want to know how God would have them apply His truths to their lives.

One of the most common complaints I hear about the beleaguered pastors from church members is, “I’m just not getting fed.” Now I realize that some of those complaints are self-centered. I also realize that some people will complain about everything and anything. And some people would find fault if the apostle Paul himself were preaching.

But the comment is telling.

“I’m just not getting fed.” That means they are hungry. They are hungry for God’s Word for their lives today.

That’s what I've seen in my research of the dechurched. They were hungry, and they were not being fed. Sure, they could have and should have found a church where they could be fed, but the reality is that they are dropouts. And it is clear how important the role of the pastor is in stemming the tide of church dropouts.

In the research for Essential Church, we found one out of every seven dropouts said the sermons did not capture their attention, and about the same number say that the church was not helping them to develop spiritually. Of the dropouts 8 percent stated bluntly that the pastor was not a good preacher and 7 percent said that the sermons were not relevant to their lives.

Taken individually, none of the responses was overwhelming; but taken in the aggregate, they are saying something powerfully. Preaching matters. The content of the sermons matters. And the life application of the sermons matters.

Any church or pastor who does not take seriously the role of preaching in his church is missing it. Just look at the dropouts as at least part of the evidence.

Adapted from Essential Church (B&H Publishing Group, 2008).

Ten Reasons Why People Lose Their Jobs

Millions of people are unemployed. Some have given up looking for work altogether. Many more are underemployed, working shorter hours in a job that may not fit their education, training, and experience.

So many of these people who lost their jobs are the victims of a poor economy or a struggling company or both. They are capable and hardworking, and their unemployment is not due to their lack of effort or desire.

Some people, however, lose their jobs due to factors they could control. I recently polled a number of leaders and asked them to tell me the top reason or reasons people lost jobs in their organizations. I asked them not to include those whose jobs were eliminated due to economic or financial reasons of the company. I was able to group their responses into ten categories. Although my poll is not scientifically validated, I think it is nevertheless instructive. Below are ten responses, listed in order of frequency, and realizing that there is some overlap in the categories.

Failure to keep current in their field. “Rapid change” has almost become cliché. One leader said he had to dismiss some people who were acting like it was still 2007. In other words, if you haven’t kept current or updated your skill set in the past five years, you are incredibly behind your coworkers. Other leaders said they expect their employees to reinvent themselves regularly. Poor relational skills. Those deficiencies include an inability to work well with others, poor self-awareness, and a self-centered attitude. I note the latter issue separately below because it was mentioned frequently. One leader told me that he let go of two of his smartest employees because their attitudes were toxic to the organization. Moral failure. I expected this response to be near the top and it was. Some of the most promising workers have been fired for actions that could only be described as stupid. Failure to carry out assignments. Some of the leaders expressed amazement at the number of people who failed to carry out an assignment and offered no explanation why they failed to do so. “One former leader on my team,” a CEO told me, “ignored my assignment for months without explanation. I guess he thought that the task would just go away.” Failure to take initiative. Some of those who responded to me were leaders in mid-size to large organizations. Their direct reports were brought into the organization with the expectation that they would be highly motivated workers. But when they failed to take initiative, their value to the organization diminished. “I need people who can come up with ideas and strategies on their own,” one leader said. “I don’t need to be giving them assignments with specific instructions every time.” Negative talk. Some people lost their jobs because they were the sources or carriers of rumors. Some were incessant complainers. And even others were simply negative people. Their dispositions and conversations made the workplace unpleasant and discouraging for others. Laziness. “Most lazy workers do not realize that everyone in the organization knows they are lazy,” a midlevel leader told me. “You can’t hide poor work hours and poor work ethic from others. I have to deal with lazy people in my division before that attitude permeates the entire division.” Attitude of entitlement. We did go through an era in America’s employment history where adequate work and sufficient tenure guaranteed some employees a lifetime job, benefits, and retirement. That era exists no more. Those who still have an attitude of entitlement may soon find themselves on the sidelines of employment. Failure to demonstrate productivity. Workers in organizations should regularly ask if they are being treated fairly for the work they do. If not, they should pursue other options. Workers can likewise be certain that now, more than ever, they are being evaluated in the same manner. Are they productive? Do they truly “earn their keep?” Self-centered attitude. More and more workers are evaluated by their attitude as well as their direct work. Are they team players? Or do they always and obviously act in their own self-interest? Do they demonstrate humility? Or do they demonstrate hubris?

The workplace is changing. In many ways, all of us are more free agents than career workers. We have to demonstrate our worth each day. Those who do so will have many options before them. But those who don’t may find themselves in the ranks of the unemployed.

What do you think of this list? What would you add, delete, or rank differently?

Pray For . . . Buena Terra McAllen

Location: Buena Terra McAllen - McAllen, Texas

Pastor: Trevor Carpenter

Weekly Worship: 9:00 AM & 11:00 AM Central Time

Fast Facts: Biblical teaching, relevant worship, and global concern are the goals of this dynamic ministry. Pastor Trevor Carpenter led the congregation to adopt the “BT” name, Buena Tierra to mean “rooted in the good soil.” Pastor Carpenter says, “We are a diverse group of unique individuals. We are teachers, lawyers, carpenters, students, house moms, pizza deliverers, hunters, writers, bookbinders, skateboarders, painters, musicians, and bikers. We find our common ground in Jesus Christ. We love each other for the individuals that God has made us. We find strength in our diversity. We value each other for the beautiful, fragile, unique souls inside. We are a family."

Connect: Website

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well. If you would like your church to be featured in “Pray for . . .” contact Steve Drake, director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com .

Pastors Are Hurting

Not all the news about pastors is discouraging. Pastors feel privileged to be called to their places of ministry. They have a deep love for those they shepherd. Most of them could not conceive of doing anything else.

But please hear me: Many pastors are hurting.

LifeWay Research conducted a national survey of Protestant pastors. Among the questions they asked were two related to the hurts I noted above.

The Discouragement Factor

One of the key symptoms of the pain experienced by pastors is discouragement. Over one-half (55%) of pastors are presently discouraged. I suspect that if we surveyed pastors over just a few months, we would find that almost all of them experience deep discouragement.

Some interesting facts we discovered in our study:

There was no pattern of discouragement related to the geographical location of the church.There was no pattern of discouragement related to the size of the church.There was no pattern of discouragement related to the educational level of the pastor.There was a significant pattern of discouragement related to the age of the pastor. The younger the pastor, the more likely he was to be discouraged.

The Loneliness Factor

Most pastors experience intense loneliness at times. When we conducted our survey, over one-half again (coincidentally the same number, 55%, as noted above) said they were lonely. Again remember that this survey was for a specific point in time.

Which pastors experience the greatest amount of loneliness? Our study noted some discernible patterns:

There was no pattern of loneliness related to the geographical location of the church.Younger pastors were more likely to be lonely than older pastors.The larger the church, the greater the likelihood that the pastor was experiencing loneliness.The greater the education level of the pastor, the more likely he is to be lonely.

Why the Pervasive Discouragement and Loneliness?

Why are so many pastors struggling today? In an earlier article I wrote on pastoral depression, I noted the following possible reasons:

Spiritual warfare. The Enemy does not want God’s servants to be effective in ministry. He will do whatever it takes to hurt ministers and their ministries.Unrealistic expectations. The expectations and demands upon a pastor are enormous. They are unrealistic. But if one person’s expectations are not met, that person can quickly let the pastor know that he is a failure.Greater platforms for critics. In “the good old days,” a critic was typically limited to telephone, mail, and in-person meetings to criticize a minister. Today the critics have the visible and pervasive platforms of email, blogs, and social media such as Facebook and Twitter.Failure to take time away from the church or place of ministry. Workaholism leads to burnout. Burnout leads to depression.Marriage and family problems. Too often the pastor neglects his family as he cares for the larger church family.Financial strains. Many pastors simply do not have sufficient income from the churches they serve. That financial stress can lead to depression. Some pastors do not know how to manage the money they do have, leading to further financial strain.The problem of comparison. Every pastor will always know of a church that is larger and more effective. Every pastor will always know of another pastor who seems more successful. The comparison game can be debilitating to some pastors.

This one thing I do know. Pastors need our prayers more than ever. They need our support and encouragement. I am committed to pray for my pastor every day, even if it’s only for a minute or so. Will you do the same? Our pastors pour out their lives for us daily. What can you do to help our pastors?

LifeWay Research contacted 1,000 Protestant pastors across the United States by telephone. The calling list was randomly drawn from a list of all Protestant churches. Up to six calls were made to reach each sampled phone number. Each interview was conducted with the senior or solo pastor or equivalent position. Responses were weighted to reflect geographical distribution of Protestant churches. The sample provides 95% confidence that the sampling error does not exceed +/- 3.2%. Margins of error are higher for sub-groups.

Pastor to Pastor is the Saturday blog series at ThomRainer.com. Pastors and staff, if we can help in any way, contact Steve Drake, our director of pastoral relations, at Steve.Drake@LifeWay.com. We also welcome contacts from laypersons in churches asking questions about pastors, churches, or the pastor search process.

Friday is for Freebies: KJV Study Bible

My giveaway this Friday is the brand new King James Version Study Bible.

2011 marked the 400th anniversary of the King James Version of the Bible, a landmark that gained worldwide media attention and researched estimates that more than one billion copies of KJV editions have been sold to date. Indeed, the beloved, historically rich rendering of Scripture is an ongoing favorite among Bible readers. This new KJV Study Bible features 15,000 study notes, 141 photos, 62 timelines, 59 maps, 40-page concordance, 20 articles and essays, 16 illustrations and reconstructions, 15 charts, and a helpful glossary of 17th century expressions relative to the KJV's signature phrasing. Other details of the KJV Study Bible include a two-column text setting, center-column cross references, the words of Christ in red, one- and three- year Bible reading plans, a notes section, four-color presentation page, and two-piece die-cut gift box.

To enter the giveaway, tell us your favorite actor or actress, living or dead.

The deadline to enter is midnight CDT this Saturday. We will draw one winner from the entries on Monday morning.