Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 317

God’s Grace Toward Leaders

By Chuck Lawless

I love to read the stories of the disciples in the Gospels, yet perhaps for an unexpected reason.

I’m grateful God calls surprising people like the disciples to lead his church, but that’s not the primary reason I love these stories.

It’s encouraging to read about the humanity of these men, but that’s not my first interest.

I love these stories because of what they tell us about Jesus. He’s a God of grace who gives second and third chances. Even for leaders.

His patience is beyond comprehension. Amazing, actually.

In Mark 6, more than 5,000 people listening to Jesus were hungry, and Jesus challenged his disciples to feed them (vv. 31-44). “That won’t work,” the disciples thought. They didn’t have the food or the money needed to buy food. You might know the story—Jesus multiplied five loaves of bread and two fish, provided enough food for all the people, and showed His creative power. So magnificent was this miracle that all four of the Gospel writers tell the story.

In the next story in Mark, Jesus walked on water toward the disciples in a boat. That scared them, for they thought He was a ghost. When Jesus got in the boat with them, the wind ceased – and the disciples were amazed. What catches my attention is how Mark describes their wonder: “They were completely astounded, because they had not understood about the loaves. Instead, their hearts were hardened” (vv. 51-52). They should have recognized more about Jesus by His power displayed in the feeding of the 5,000, but they didn’t understand yet. They failed to see Him as the sovereign one who can multiply the fish He created and walk on the water He controls.

Some time later, another 4,000+ hungry people were with Jesus (8:1-10). Again He challenged His disciples to meet the need. This time, they started with seven loaves of bread and a few fish among the crowd. The same Jesus in their presence, thousands of people to feed, and again too little food – the scene for a miracle was set.  After all, Jesus had multiplied five loaves and two fish to feed 5,000+; surely He could feed 4,000+ with more loaves and fish. We read the story with expectation, waiting to see the Master glorify Himself again.

But, the disciples’ first response was again to question how they could feed that many people with little food. Maybe they had completely forgotten the feeding of the 5,000, but I doubt it. How do you forget that kind of miracle? More likely, they forgot who was with them. They saw the problem rather than the problem solver. Deity was in their midst, but their thinking remained earthly. It happens, you know – we work hard to solve our own problems while the Miracle Worker living within us patiently wants us to know Him better. It’s no surprise we lose our wonder of Jesus when we fail to focus on Him.

Some time after the feeding of the 4,000, the disciples were again in a boat (Mark 8:14-21), where they again faced a food problem. This time, they were stressed because they had not brought enough bread to eat. They had only one loaf to share among them.

Stop here, and read this line slowly again: they were stressed because they had not brought enough bread to eat.

Wouldn’t you hope they would understand more about Jesus by now? Too little bread is not a problem for the Savior. Never has been. Never will be. He is powerful enough to feed the multitudes and personal enough to feed you and me.

Still, we forget. We challenge others to remember God’s power, but we forget it when we’re the ones in need. The closer the need is to us, the harder it is to see God’s sovereign, miraculous hand at work. The circumstances look bigger to us than does the God over the circumstances. I wonder if Jesus might ever ask us what He asked His disciples then, “Do you not yet understand?”

At what point might He give up on us?

You know the answer.  He does not give up on us, but not because we are so good. We would be fully deserving if He walked away. He doesn’t give up on us, though, because He trusts His Father’s work in us.

Jesus knows that the story is not about us in the first place. The One who creates us is the One who saves us, protects us, sanctifies us, and glorifies Himself through us. He who is worthy of all praise loves us in spite of our unworthiness. He remembers us even when we forget Him.

In grace, He still uses us as leaders.

Adapted from Nobodies for Jesus (Rainer Publishing, 2013)

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

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Five Life and Leadership Lessons Where I Still Mess Up

Sometimes I just don’t get it.

This past year, I wrote a book that made it to number one among all Christian books. I have a blog with four to five million views a year (Yep. It really does sound like I’m boasting).

So I have been blessed to have a number of readers vote with their eyes to take in the material I write. Material on the church. Material on life. Material on leadership.

But I still don’t get it sometimes.

Sometimes I say implicitly, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Yes, I can be a lousy example for my own writings. I can hide behind my keyboard and act like some kind of expert spouting truisms and lessons. But I still don’t get it in several areas of life and leadership.

There are five areas where I consistently don’t get it. I mess up time and time again. Here are my top five (or should they be a bottom five?).

The so-called big problem of today will not be around in a short while. Though I know better, I sometimes respond to challenging issues of today like it’s the end of the world. Weeks later, I will wonder why I got so upset at the time.
Don’t take criticisms personally. Yeah. Right. Sometimes I think my skin is so thin it’s translucent. I have written numerous articles on dealing with criticisms. Sometimes when I am writing on such topics, it seems like an out-of-body experience. I know I talk it a lot better than I walk it.
Trust God in all things. I certainly believe the statement biblically and theologically. I just don’t demonstrate faith to live it more times than I would like to say.
Life is short; enjoy the moment. I am goal-oriented. Let me restate that. I am obsessively goal-oriented. Too often I miss out on the small and daily joys that God has given me. I don’t focus sufficiently on this day because I’m looking to accomplish something in the future.
An adventure in faith begins when we get out of our comfort zones. Okay, I’ll give myself a little credit here. I have stepped out in faith a few times in my life. My point is that I don’t do so enough. I can get comfortable with my routines and earthly pleasures. Too comfortable.

So . . . I hope I don’t discourage readers from sticking with me because of my inconsistencies. I’m 58 years old, and I still have a lot of growing up to do. Thanks for bearing with me.

How about you? Are there key leadership and life lessons where you aren’t as consistent as you should be? Maybe I’m not alone.

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Pray for Emmanuel Church of Christ

Location: Oakland, California

Pastor: Anthony Miller

Worship Time: 11:00 AM Pacific Time

Fast Facts: Emmanuel is celebrating 70 years of ministry this year and continues to focus on reaching the multi-cultural community of East Oakland. Please pray for the monthly community outreach programs the church is starting in 2014 as they seek to share Christ with those who are homeless, underprivileged, and lost in the community of East Oakland.

Website: EmmanuelExperience.com

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, download this information form and return it to the address on the form.

Twelve Reasons Pastors’ Wives Are Lonely

ThomRainer.com began as a source of information for pastors, staff, and other Christian leaders. I have been incredibly blessed to discover a subgroup of my readership that has much to offer: pastors’ wives. Many in this group have also shared a common plight: they are very lonely.

Indeed the transparency of these pastors’ wives is amazing. Many have shared with each other on this blog about their battles with depression. My desire to offer help to pastors’ wives has increased greatly. My respect and admiration of them has also grown significantly.

For this article, I assimilated the hundreds of blog comments, Twitter and Facebook messages, and general conversations I’ve had with pastors’ wives. My focus was on the number one challenge they have shared: loneliness.

Here are the twelve most common reasons pastors’ wives have offered to explain their loneliness.

Superficial relationships in the church. “No one ever sees me as my own person. I am the pastor’s wife. No one tries to get close to me.”
A busy pastor/husband. “My husband is on 24/7 call all the time. I just get leftovers.”
Mean church members. “I guess I’ve isolated myself to some extent. I just don’t want to keep hearing those awful things they say about my husband and me.”
A conduit for complaints about her husband. “Last week someone told me their family was leaving the church because my husband is a lousy preacher. Do they have any idea how that makes me feel?”
Broken confidences. “I’ve given up trying to get close to church members. I thought I had a close friend until I found out she was sharing everything I told her. That killed me emotionally.”
Frequent moves. “I’m scared to get close to anybody now. Every time I develop a close relationship, we move again.”
Viewed as a second-class person. “One church member introduced me to a guest visiting the church by saying I’m ‘just the pastor’s wife.’”
Lack of support groups. “I’ve heard that some wives have support groups that really help. I’ve never been able to find one.”
No date nights. “I can’t remember the last time my husband and I had a date night together.”
Complaints about children. “I really don’t try to get close to church members anymore. I’m tired of so many of them telling me how perfect our children should be.”
Husband does not give the wife priority. “Frankly, the church is like a mistress to my wife. He has abandoned me for someone else.”
Financial struggles. “My husband makes so much less money than most of the members. I just can’t afford to do the things they do socially.”

While many pastors’ wives share that there are blessings in their role, many do suffer severe loneliness. I would love to hear from more of these wives. And I would love to hear from others about them. The words I have heard from these women have prompted me to be more intentional about praying for them.

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11 Common Mistakes Made by Churches – Rainer on Leadership #042

Podcast Episode #042

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Earlier this week, I shared eleven common mistakes made by churches. That post garnered a huge reaction from you, the readers—so much so that Jonathan and I recorded an “emergency podcast episode” of sorts later in the day about the topics I discussed in the post. Whatever church you serve in or attend, these common mistakes can be fixed, and in most cases, fixed relatively easily.

Failure to have a informative, easy-to-use website.
Failure of pastors and staff to be actively involved in social media. 
Failure of pastors and staff to understand they represent the church when they are involved in social media. 
Failure to urge people to be a part of groups. 
Failure of leaders to be actively involved in influencing the content of groups. 
Failure of church members to be considerate of where they sit during a worship service. 
Failure to have parking lot greeters.
Failure to have clearly marked guest parking. 
Failure to have clearly marked entrances to the worship center. 
Failure to have clearly marked entrances to the church offices. 
Failure to have adequate restroom facilities.

Episode Sponsor

This podcast was brought to you by Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary’s Doctor of Ministry program. If you want more out of your ministry, want to study with a world-class faculty and need to stay where you currently serve, the DMin at Southeastern is the answer for you. Visit SEBTS.EDU/DMIN for more information.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free autographed copy of I Am a Church Member.

Resources

I Am a Church Member
Simple Church
WordPress

Friday Is for Freebies: Now You’re Speaking My Language

In celebration of Valentine’s Day, today’s freebie is the revised edition of Now You’re Speaking My Language. From best-selling author Gary Chapman, Now You’re Speaking My Language encourages husbands and wives to offer steadfast loyalty, forgiveness, empathy, and commitment to resolving conflict, thus encouraging each other in spiritual growth. Dr. Chapman shows how communication and intimacy are key points in developing a successful marriage by focusing on these principles: Lasting answers to marital growth are found in the Bible, Your relationship with God enhances your marriage relationship, Communication is the main way two become one in a marriage, and Biblical oneness involves sex, but also intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and social oneness.

Also included is the black, genuine leather version of the HCSB Study Bible, a comprehensive, easy to read, and easy to use Bible, with features and formats specifically designed to enhance your Bible study experience. You can also go to MyStudyBible.com and dive right in for a complete digital experience.

This Bible has a retail price of $79.99 and features 15,000 study notes, 290 Hebrew and Greek word studies, 66 highly detailed book introductions, 62 maps, 27 topical articles, 20 charts, and 18 illustrations, all focusing on the most important topics and questions in Bible study.

Enter this week’s Friday Is for Freebies giveaway

To enter this week’s giveaway, fill out the form below. Entries will be closed at midnight Saturday night. We will contact the winner via email on Monday morning. Names and addresses are deleted each week and are just used to select a winner.

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After submitting your entry, you will be directed back to the ThomRainer.com homepage. By entering, you acknowledge and accept the terms of the promotion.

Notable Voices – February 13, 2014

15 Ideas to Help You Evaluate Your Church Bulletin – Rich Birch

In his post earlier this week, Chuck Lawless touched on what the content of your bulletin says about who you are as a church. These tips from Rich Birch will help you better define what your bulletin should and should not contain.

 

7 Lies Pastors Often Believe – Ron Edmondson

I’m so thankful for Ron’s heart for pastors. I’m also thankful for his contributions—like this article—to Pastors Today, our new blog specifically written for pastors.

 

3 Small Group Myths – Philip Nation

Discipleship groups, regardless of their official label in a local church, are essential to the life of a church. Healthy churches have healthy groups. And healthy groups don’t fall victim to the myths Philip lists.

 

They Do It Better Than We Do – Tim Brister

Tim shares the overwhelming—and the disheartening—reality found in today’s youth sports culture: coaches often make disciples of sports more effectively than churches make disciples of Christ.

 

Delegating or Dumping – Eric Geiger

As Eric shows in this post, there is a fine line between delegating work as a leader and dumping your work on others.

 

7 Ways to Think Differently About Church Social Media Content – Justin Wise

I’ve said it numerous times in the past few months, but churches and pastors who are not on social media are like missionaries who refuse to learn the language of the people to which they are ministering. Justin provides a helpful roadmap for churches looking to better engage their community online.

Seven Problems with an Activity-Driven Church

Many churches are busy, probably too busy. Church calendars fill quickly with a myriad of programs and activities. While no individual activity may be problematic, the presence of so many options can be.

An activity-driven church is a congregation whose corporate view is that busier equals better. More activities, from this perspective, mean a healthier church. The reality is that churches who base their health on their busyness already have several problems. Allow me to elaborate on seven of those challenges.

Activity is not biblical purpose. Certainly some activities can move a congregation toward fulfilling her biblical purposes. But busyness per se should not be a goal of a healthy congregation.
Busyness can take us away from connecting with other believers and non-believers. It is sadly ironic that local churches are often a primary reason we do not connect on a regular basis with people in our community and in the world. We are too busy “doing church.”
An activity-driven church often is not strategic in its ministries. Leaders do not think about what is best; they often just think about what is next on the activity list.
A congregation that is too busy can hurt families. Sadly, some church members are so busy with their churches that they neglect their families. Our churches should be about strengthening families, not pulling them apart.
An activity-driven church often has no presence in the community. Christians should be Christ’s presence in the communities their churches serve. Some Christians are just too busy doing church activities to have an incarnational presence in the community.
Activity-driven churches tend to have “siloed” ministries. So the student ministry plans activities that conflict with the children’s ministries that conflict with the senior adult ministries, and so on. Instead of all the ministries and activities working together for a strategic purpose, they tend to work only for their particular areas.
Churches that focus on activities tend to practice poor stewardship. Many of the activities are not necessary. Some are redundant. Others are sacred cows. Ministry effectiveness can often be enhanced with less instead of more.

Many of our churches have traded effectiveness for busyness. Good use of the resources God has given us demands that we rethink all we are asking our members to do in our churches. We really need more simple churches. Now that’s a novel concept.

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What Church Documents Say About Your Church

By Chuck Lawless

I love working with local congregations. As I consult with churches, I learn so much by visiting the church, listening to the staff, and interviewing members. Nothing can fully take the place of spending time with the local body of Christ.

Yet at the same time, I learn a lot about a church by reviewing its written documents. Recognizing the suggestions below are not infallible, I encourage you to evaluate your own congregation if assessed based on these documents.

Church Calendar

A church’s calendar gives some indication of a congregation’s priorities. Take a look at your church’s calendar, and consider these questions:

What percentage of activities focuses only on meeting the needs of church members?
What percentage is intentionally and clearly directed toward reaching unbelievers and unchurched folks in the community?
What percentage is designed to help new believers grow (e.g., new member’s classes, discipleship emphases, mentoring opportunities)?
If members were to attend everything offered (or even a particular percentage of the events), would they have time to focus on raising families and reaching friends and neighbors?

Church Budget

Likewise, a church’s budget illustrates what the congregation believes to be most significant. Consider, for example, the church that has devoted 55% of its budget to personnel and 30% to debt retirement. That leaves just 15% for ministry programs and missions support, as the highest budget components are at unhealthy levels. It is possible the church is simply—and decisively—inwardly focused. Among other possibilities, it is also possible the church has experienced attendance and giving decline without making necessary staff changes as well.

Based only on a review of your church’s budget, what are your congregation’s priorities? What percentages are set aside for ministry and missions?

Prayer List

If you have read this blog consistently, you know my commitment to prayer. I am convinced churches lack power because they operate in their own strength. At the same time, I fear that too many prayer lists reflect an inward focus. With that concern in mind, think about these questions as you look at your church’s prayer list:

How much does the church pray for church members? for unbelievers? for professed believers not currently attending church?
How strong is the focus on praying for the church members to be evangelistic (Eph. 6:18-20)?
Does the church pray consistently for missionaries (or only when you hear of missionaries who face difficulties)?
Do you pray for sister congregations in the community?

Bulletin and Newsletter

A quick look at what is emphasized in these documents will again tell you much about the church’s priorities. More specifically, though, these types of published materials often illustrate the church’s level of commitment to excellence. Incorrect grammar, misspelled words, confusing announcements, uncorrected errors, and poor printing say more about a church than most congregations would wish. Given the electronic tools available for these tasks today, somebody should catch these mistakes before the documents are published.

Church Bylaws

The bylaws of a church typically speak to day-to-day operations and are often more easily changed than a church’s constitution. Quite often, bylaw amendments such as these examples tell us something about the church’s history:

Any former member who re-joins ___________ Church may not vote in a business meeting and may not serve in a leadership role for a minimum of six months after joining the church.
Worship services at ____________ Church may take place only on Sunday.
Persons who serve as administrative assistants at __________ Church may not be members of the church at the same time.

Whether or not you agree with these by-law amendments, what do you suppose happened in the history of these congregations to warrant such bylaws?

Attendance forms

Many churches do not keep this information, but these data can be quite informative. Consider these questions you might ask, among many others:

Is the church growing numerically? If so, is the church growing through reaching non-believers? by members of other churches transferring their membership to your church? by an influx of new people in the community?
Is your church’s back door wide open – that is, are more people leaving your church than joining?
What percentage of your church’s worship attenders are also involved in a small group? in doing ministry? in giving?
On average, how many guests attend your church every week? What percentage returns for subsequent visits? What percentage joins the church?

These documents are only a few among many in most churches. They are just pieces of the puzzle in evaluating the health of a church—whether the church is healthy or unhealthy.

Are there any other church documents you would add to this list?

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

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Eleven of the Most Common Mistakes Churches Make

I was recently in Arkansas speaking with a pastor who is a daily reader of this blog. He expressed gratitude for all the free content, but then he made a kind plea. He said that the blog has so much content that it can be overwhelming at times.

He then asked if I could write some posts that summarized several issues I covered in multiple articles over many months. I asked him to give me an example for clarity. He said, “Maybe you could write an article on the ten most common mistakes made by churches.”

His request is proof positive that my readers are much smarter than I am. Why didn’t I think of that?

Thank you, pastor. Here is my response with one added to the ten. These are not necessarily the most important issues (I think theological heresy would outrank them all), but they are the most common.

Failure to have a informative, easy-to-use website. I cringe when I see some churches’ websites. That is now the first place a prospective guest visits when he or she is thinking about attending a church. Websites are incredibly affordable today, and they can be updated easily. A church website should be updated at least once a week. It should be one of high quality. And it should contain good and accurate information for guests and members alike.
Failure of pastors and staff to be actively involved in social media. That is analogous to a missionary in another land failing to learn how to speak the language of the people. 
Failure of pastors and staff to understand they represent the church when they are involved in social media. When I see some of the blog posts and Twitter and Facebook communication of pastors and staff, I am often left speechless. Even if it is a personal blog or Twitter or Facebook account (or almost a dozen other social media entrants), church members read them. The community reads them. Pastors and staff: you represent yourself, your church, and, most importantly, Christ. Please be careful with your words. 
Failure to urge people to be a part of groups. Groups are key to healthy assimilation, ministry involvement, evangelistic intentionality, biblical accountability, and community connections. Church leaders should regularly encourage members and others to get involved in a small group, home group, Sunday school class, or some other ongoing group. 
Failure of leaders to be actively involved in influencing the content of groups. Can you imagine a pastor asking a random person to preach on Sunday morning without any idea what that person would say? That’s how many leaders treat their groups. Some have no idea what is being taught, studied, and discussed. 
Failure of church members to be considerate of where they sit during a worship service. I can’t tell you how many guests told me they had to climb over church members who arrived early and got an aisle seat. I can’t tell you how many left no room for others because they used space for their coats, Bibles, smartphones, and other items. 
Failure to have parking lot greeters. This ministry is a church’s opportunity to make a positive first impression. However, most churches do not have parking lot greeters. 
Failure to have clearly marked guest parking. Most churches have guest parking places. The problem is most guests can’t find them. 
Failure to have clearly marked entrances to the worship center. Ask a person who has never attended your church to do so. Then ask them how difficult it was to find the worship center. Because we know our own church well, we often don’t comprehend the challenges a first time guest may have. 
Failure to have clearly marked entrances to the church offices. This issue is, of course, more of a problem during weekdays. 
Failure to have adequate restroom facilities. There should be an adequate number of restrooms. They should be clean. And guests should see clearly marked signs that tell them how to find them.

This “top ten plus one” list is not comprehensive. It simply represents the most common mistakes I see. I look forward to your responses and feedback.