Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 136

Twenty Really Weird Criticisms Pastors Receive (Merry Christmas!)

Back by popular demand, here are the latest really weird criticisms pastors have received, with special thanks to the responses at Church Answers and on social media.

“You didn’t send me a thank you note for my thank you note.” Thank you.
“You are too happy!” I’ll make a point of being a total grump around you.
“I will leave the church if you don’t put tissue seat covers in the bathrooms!” Please flush on the way out.
“I would be happy to take your wife to the store to help her select some appropriate clothes.” Please do, but don’t return.
“I guess I have to die to get you to wear a suit and tie to church again.” The pastor did so the next Sunday. He’s waiting on the member to hold up his end of the deal.
“Every sermon you preach is better than the next one.” Thank you . . . no, wait.
“Why do we have to follow something an apostle wrote 2,000 years ago?” Yep, that Bible is overrated.
“The VBS hot dogs are too cheap.” What? We got them at LifeWay!
“You don’t tell enough jokes when you preach.” Yes, I do. I mentioned your name in my last sermon.
“You need to stop talking about making disciples.” Yes, that criticism came from an elder.
“When you changed the name from Sunday school to small groups, you took Jesus and the Bible out of the church!” I agree. Read Hezekiah 4:11.
“You didn’t give good advice about the family vacuum.” Now, that’s important.
“I heard you are going to cancel Christmas.” Yes, I consulted with the Grinch.
“I don’t like the color of your beard hair.” Thank you. I plan to dye it pink.
“Your hair color is too dark for someone in your profession.” Don’t worry. The more I hear from you, the grayer it gets.
“Just because it’s in the Bible, you don’t have to talk about it.” I try to be selective.
“Your wife used the wrong spoon in the coleslaw at the church social.” Thank you. She has agreed to be in timeout from church for one year.
“We need to throw out the guitar to the streets. The piano is the only instrument that belongs in the church.” Yep, that’s what the Apostle Paul said.
“You ended a sentence with a preposition in your sermon.” What is this criticism good for?
“Your pregnant wife is faking morning sickness.” I would be happy for you to watch her throw up.

Some funny. Some sad. Some angry.

All of them are reminders of the challenges of pastoral ministry.

Please tell your pastors how much you love them and appreciate them.

And to all you readers, thank you and Merry Christmas. You bring joy to my life!

Pray for FBC Troy, AL

Location: Troy, Alabama

Pastor: Vacant

Weekly Worship: 10:15 AM, Central

Fast Facts: First Baptist Troy is in a time of transition as they seek a new pastor to lead them in fulfilling their mission of saving, equipping, and sending. Please be in prayer for their pastor search team as well as those who will fill the pulpit in the interim. Also, be in prayer for their Christmas Eve service this week as they reach those without a church home in the Troy area.

Website: TroyFBC.org

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, fill out this information form..

Notable Voices and the Week in Review: December 22, 2018

From Around the Web:

Essentials of a Great Ministry Resume — Sam Rainer

It’s a common question I get from people I am coaching and mentoring. What should I include in my ministry resume? There are definitely a few dos and don’ts. I’ve listed below some essentials of a great ministry resume.

3 Questions to Evaluate This Year and 3 to Help Plan for the Next — Facts & Trends

When December 31 rolls into January 1 there’s something within us that strives to do things differently. Maybe that involves making changes to our health, our spiritual growth, or the way we pastor our congregations. I want to propose three questions to help you evaluate the present year and three questions to help you plan for the next.

15 Thoughts to Consider if Your Church is Having a Christmas Eve Service — Chuck Lawless

Because questions about a Christmas Eve service come up every year, here are my thoughts to consider if your church is planning a Christmas Eve service next week. I published many of these thoughts last year but have added a few for this year.

The Most Overrated and Underrated Christmas Carols — The Worship Guru

This Week at ThomRainer.com:





















Ten Reasons I Am Optimistic about Churches in 2019

Despite the tough reality many congregations face today, I remain an obnoxious optimist as we move into 2019…READ MORE

When a Pastor’s Friend Leaves the Church

Pastors, if this painful reality has happened to you, please know you are not alone. It is so much more commonplace than I would have ever imagined…READ MORE

Five Ways Churches Are Unintentionally Forcing Pastors Out

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/TheExchange/Episode494.mp3








How to Move Forward When the Pastor and the Staff Member Are Not Aligned

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/TheExchange/Episode495.mp3








6 Keys for Revitalization in the Shadow of a Megachurch

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Revitalize & Replant

http://media.blubrry.com/revitalizereplant/s3.amazonaws.com/TheExchange/RevitalizeReplant/RR-Episode072.mp3

How to Move Forward When the Pastor and the Staff Member Are Not Aligned – Rainer on Leadership #495

Podcast Episode #495

SUBSCRIBE:
iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play • iHeart Radio • Spotify

Alignment is essential if you want a healthy church staff. Today we discuss how to improve the alignment of both your staff and your church.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

Ministries need to be aligned with the vision and mission of the church.
The onus of responsibility in communication resides with the leader.
It is amazing to me how many leaders kick the can on difficult decisions.
Social time together is one of the best ways a church staff can build alignment.

The five alignment principles we cover are:

Determine if the problem is alignment or insubordination
Review communication patterns and relationships
Spend some social time together
Learn what motivates and de-motivates the staff member
Have honest conversations

Resources mentioned in today’s podcast

Church Answers


Episode Sponsors

The ministry landscape is changing, and the need for biblical training is more necessary than ever. It’s time to get your Master of Divinity degree. The M.Div —Midwestern Seminary’s flagship degree program — is the primary track for ministry preparation. At just 81 hours, the Midwestern M.Div offers a complete foundation for full-time ministry leaders, offering everything you need, and nothing you don’t. Join other students in vibrant Kansas City as you train in a unique collaborative environment focused on the local church or study online in your current ministry context. Midwestern Seminary is developing a discipleship culture devoted to the local church and committed to God’s unchanging Word. Why not start your training today?

Find out more at mbts.edu/mdiv.

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped thousands of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church.

For more information, visit WeStaffTheChurch.com.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Becoming a Welcoming Church.

6 Keys for Revitalization in the Shadow of a Megachurch – Revitalize & Replant #072

SUBSCRIBE TODAY:
iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play • Spotify

Revitalization in the shadow of a megachurch can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. Today, we discuss six reasons why.

This Week’s Question:

FROM JOE — I am the Associate Pastor at an above average size church (180 in average attendance), but not a mega church. I have a number of request about what we need to do. Many of those request come from ideas members get when they travel and visit mega churches. I came to this church from a mega church. While I like the way the church I was at before functions, our town is not even as big as that church. We don’t have the technology, money, or staff that a mega church has. The church was once triple the size that it is currently, and most of us desire renewal. Can you offer some advice on how to keep our expectations real, and how to achieve those realistic expectations based on who we are?

Episode Highlights:

A consumer mindset by churchgoers is a major issue in churches today.
Often, what attracts people to a church is what keeps people at a church.
Make decisions in the church that are grounded in reaching people, not in keeping people.
“Pastors, your job isn’t to attract a crowd—it’s to make disciples.”

The six keys that we cover are:

The issue is the consumer mindset versus the servant mindset
The more people are involved in ministry, the less likely they will expect the church to serve them
Your church has all the resources it needs
As a leader in the church, set the example
Equip others to set the example
Keep the focus outwardly

Resources mentioned in this episode include:

ChurchAnswers.com
RevitalizeBundle.com
ChurchReplanters.com
Replanter Assessment
Find more resources at the Revitalize & Replant page at ThomRainer.com


Revitalize & Replant is sponsored by the North American Mission Board and ChurchReplanters.com. More than 10% of churches in North America are at risk of closing and the North American Mission Board is committed to reversing this trend by decreasing the death rate of existing churches while simultaneously increasing the birth rate of new churches. To learn more about what it means to become a replanting pastor or to explore resources for replanting and revitalization in your own church, visit ChurchReplanters.com.
Submit Your Question:

Do you have a question about church revitalization or replanting for us to use on the podcast? Visit the podcast page to submit your question. If we use it on the show, you’ll get a copy of Autopsy of a Deceased Church and Reclaiming Glory.

When a Pastor’s Friend Leaves the Church

I’ve asked the question dozens of times. In one way or another, I simply ask pastors: “What has been one of your most painful moments in ministry?”

Obviously, the responses are diverse, but one response seems pretty consistent. Let me summarize it with this quote from a pastor who spoke to me just two weeks ago.

“Critics and bullies bother me,” he said. “But at least you know where you stand with them. The greatest pain for me took place when one of my good friends and his family decided to leave the church. At least I thought he was a good friend. I felt like I had been stabbed in the back.

I am not surprised at the pain. I am, however, surprised how common the experience is with so many pastors. At some point, I will do some digging to find out why these friends left. For now, I asked the pastors how they dealt with pain both positively and proactively. Here are the common responses:

They accepted the reality of the pain. “For a season, I pretended like it didn’t bother me. But I was lying to myself. I honestly felt like I had been betrayed. Once I admitted the pain, I was able to deal with it better.”

They prayed for the friend and his family. “That was tough. My carnal self wanted to punch him in the face. I had to pray for the strength to pray for him. God began to do a work in me that got me beyond the intense pain. It still hurts today, but I am making progress.”

They avoided burning bridges. “I’m glad I resisted the temptation to bless him out. It could have happened so easily. But I prayed and bit my tongue. I am so glad God gave me restraint.”

They answered members’ questions honestly. “The questions from other church members were expected. They knew how close we were. But he never gave me a reason for his departure. So, I just shared what I knew. I told them I was hurt. I told them I was clueless about the reasons he left. I was straightforward and honest.”

They were careful about forging close friendships in the church from that point. “Maybe it’s not the best thing to do, but I am wary of making close friends in the church now. I love my members. I serve my members. But I am not going to get burned again. My closest relationships now are outside the church.”

Pastors, if this painful reality has happened to you, please know you are not alone. It is so much more commonplace than I would have ever imagined. I pray you will find good friends you can trust and enjoy, whether they are in inside the church or outside the church.

You need those friends. And I have little doubt you will be a blessing to them as well.

Five Ways Churches Are Unintentionally Forcing Pastors Out – Rainer on Leadership #494

Podcast Episode #494

SUBSCRIBE:
iTunes • RSS • Stitcher • TuneIn Radio • Google Play • iHeart Radio • Spotify

We’v found that many pastors are forced out unknowingly by churches. Today, we cover five ways your church may unknowingly be pushing your pastor away.

Some highlights from today’s episode include:

The rare exceptions make headlines, but pastors are not in ministry for the money.
Even in “good churches” pastors hear more than a little criticism.
When complimenting your pastor, be as specific as possible. Something like “good sermon” often just rings hollow.
It’s rare to find a pastor who doesn’t love caring for the flock.

The five ways we discuss are:

Not compensating them adequately
Unreasonable expectations on the family
Comparison comments
“Death by a thousand cuts”
Failure to ask pastors questions of care and concern

Resources mentioned in today’s podcast

LifeWay Compensation Study
Church Answers

Rainer on Leadership is a member of the LifeWay Leadership Podcast Network

Episode Sponsors

Vanderbloemen Search Group is the premier pastor search firm dedicated to helping churches and ministries build great teams. They’ve helped thousands of churches just like yours find their church staff and are uniquely geared to help you discern who God is calling to lead your church.

For more information, visit WeStaffTheChurch.com.

The ministry landscape is changing, and the need for biblical training is more necessary than ever. It’s time to get your Master of Divinity degree. The M.Div —Midwestern Seminary’s flagship degree program — is the primary track for ministry preparation. At just 81 hours, the Midwestern M.Div offers a complete foundation for full-time ministry leaders, offering everything you need, and nothing you don’t. Join other students in vibrant Kansas City as you train in a unique collaborative environment focused on the local church or study online in your current ministry context. Midwestern Seminary is developing a discipleship culture devoted to the local church and committed to God’s unchanging Word. Why not start your training today?

Find out more at mbts.edu/mdiv.

Feedback

If you have a question you would like answered on the show, fill out the form on the podcast page here at ThomRainer.com. If we use your question, you’ll receive a free copy of Scrappy Church.

Ten Reasons I Am Optimistic about Churches in 2019

Despite the tough reality many congregations face today, I remain an obnoxious optimist as we move into 2019. Just yesterday, I received an email about a church that I thought was headed for closure. Through a series of God-blessed events, the church has turned the corner and will remain a presence in the community.

That one anecdote has been a common theme for so many congregations: there is hope. God is not done with us yet. And here are ten reasons why:

More church leaders are admitting their churches are struggling. On the surface, this reason seems more like a reason for pessimism. I don’t see it that way. You can’t begin to get healthy until you admit you are not healthy. It is a vital first step.

Churches are increasingly connecting with their communities. They are breaking out of their holy huddles and becoming a witness and a positive presence in the neighborhoods and towns where God has placed them.

There is significant evidence of greater Great Commission obedience. We recently conducted a survey of 1,700 church leaders. The number one area where they are seeking to improve is evangelism and outward focus.

Toxic church behavior is less tolerated. Many churches struggle because issues such as bullying and toxic leadership are swept under the rug. Just yesterday I spoke with a pastor who was celebrating the reality that we talk about these issues openly and frankly.

Church revitalization has become a major movement. This one reason excites me beyond measure. Such is the reason I created the non-profit organization, Revitalize Network. I wanted a place where we could connect and help one another.

More young pastors feel called to lead a church revitalization. Related to the revitalization movement is the incredible number of young leaders who are and will be leading churches toward revitalization. I can’t wait to see what God will do!

More church leaders are seeking coaching and consultations. I love the humility and vulnerability I am seeing with these leaders. They are seeking God’s wisdom, and they are calling on others to help their churches move forward. I know. We at Church Answers are receiving more requests for coaching and consultation than at any point in my ministry.

Churches are working together toward fulfilling the Great Commission. There are so many areas where we can work together even if we come from different denominations or non-denominational churches. For three decades many of our churches and church leaders have criticized and fought each other. More than ever today, we realize we are on the same team.

Church planting and church revitalization are not perceived to be either/or. We need both. We must have both. They are each critically important. I love the dual emphasis that is taking place.

The multi-site and multi-venue movement is entering an era of growth and maturity. Because of this movement, existing congregations are finding new opportunities for Great Commission growth. Because of this movement, fewer churches will close their doors.

These are exciting days to be a church leader and church member. While we don’t deny the reality of struggling churches, we embrace the excitement about God’s work in so many congregations.

I really believe it: 2019 will be an incredible year for thousands of churches.

I can’t wait to see what God will do.

Pray for Covenant Reformed Baptist Church

Location: Providence, North Carolina

Pastor: John Carpenter

Weekly Worship: 11:00 AM, Eastern

Fast Facts: Covenant Reformed Baptist Church is in its 11th year of existence and is an inter-racial, active congregation committed to God-centered worship, the whole council of God, the marks of a healthy church, and glorifying God by enjoying Him now and forever. Be in prayer for Covenant this Christmas season as they minister in the Danville, VA area.

Website: CovenantCaswell.org

“Pray for . . .” is the Sunday blog series at ThomRainer.com. We encourage you to pray for these churches noted every Sunday. Please feel free to comment that you are praying as well.

If you would like to have your church featured in the “Pray for…” series, fill out this information form..

Notable Voices and the Week in Review: December 15, 2018

From Around the Web:

What Does the Bible Say About Giving? — Art Rainer

What does it mean to give? How does it look? You may know intuitively that you should give but not know much beyond that. The good news is that the Bible tells us what our giving should look like. Our generous God reveals to us four giving principles throughout Scripture.

8 Reasons Pastors Struggle During Christmas — Facts & Trends

The Christmas season is upon us. Despite all the fun of this holiday, this time of year can also be difficult for pastors. Here are several reasons why:

6 Characteristics of An Irrelevant Leader — Carey Nieuwhof

You can debate how important relevance is all day long (and many do), but the truth is irrelevant leaders eventually make less impact on the team around them, and eventually almost no impact on the next generation, except for perhaps an example of what not to be like.

3 Ways to Help Outsiders Feel Welcome in Your Church — Ronnie Martin

So what can we do to help outsiders feel like welcome, without turning church into a preference-driven smorgasbord of gospel-lite hors d’oeuvres? In other words, how do we make the gospel comprehensible to those who’ve had little or no relationship to it? My suggestion is simply this: We use gospel hospitality to extend an invitation to gospel reality.

This Week at ThomRainer.com:





















Six Considerations Before You Fire Your Pastor This Christmas

I want to uncover a dark reality of which many church members have little knowledge: many pastors are being fired this Christmas season…READ MORE

Seven Traits of Toxic Leaders

They rarely demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit.
They seek a minimalist structure of accountability.
They expect behavior of others they don’t expect of themselves.
They see almost everyone else as inferior to themselves.
They show favoritism.
They do not allow for pushback or disagreement and surround themselves with sycophants.
They are self-absorbed.
















6 Reasons Many Church Leaders Stop Leading Outwardly

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/TheExchange/Episode492.mp3








Five Incredible Tools for Better Stewardship in Your Church

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Rainer on Leadership

http://media.blubrry.com/thomrainer/s3.amazonaws.com/TheExchange/Episode493.mp3








Three Keys for Worship in a Replant or Revitalization

by Thom Rainer and Jonathan Howe | Revitalize & Replant

http://media.blubrry.com/revitalizereplant/s3.amazonaws.com/TheExchange/RevitalizeReplant/RR-Episode071.mp3