Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 56
February 12, 2015
My polyamory metamour sex column for Valentine's Day in Philadelphia City Paper
Sometimes I fall for a title first, as is the case with "Love the one you’re with — and the one they’re with, too," my Philadelphia City Paper column this week on polyamory and how metamour relationships can unfold. Special thanks to Cunning Minx (pictured below) and her podcast Polyamory Weekly for being such a wonderful source of information on this topic.
Yes, I will be reviewing Fifty Shades of Grey this weekend, but I wanted to remember other aspects of Valentine's Day than Ana and Christian, and wanted to use a Valentine's Day sex column to highlight an aspect of polyamorous relationships I haven't seen as much written about in more mainstream venues (even though I'm tasked with writing edgy, alternative sex for my alt weekly column, I still consider it "mainstream" in the sense that most readers probably haven't heard the word "metamour," and apparently neither has the spell checker on Blogger).
And yes, I'm aware that polyamorous people are often portrayed as rich and white. Not everyone I interviewed is white, and my aim with all my columns and writing is to showcase a diversity of sexual experiences, sexual identities, ages, races and genders. I am working especially on trying to cover topics that aren't being covered elsewhere, to the best of my ability, and to that end, I highly welcome pitches. In Philadelphia City Paper Let's Get It On is a short weekly print and online column about almost anything related to sex; my DAME Shameless Sex column runs every other week and focuses on issues around women and sex, and I also freelance widely for places like Salon about assorted other topics. Hence, I always am on the lookout for new ideas, people, events, kinks to cover. You can reach me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "Column" in the subject line.
Yes, I will be reviewing Fifty Shades of Grey this weekend, but I wanted to remember other aspects of Valentine's Day than Ana and Christian, and wanted to use a Valentine's Day sex column to highlight an aspect of polyamorous relationships I haven't seen as much written about in more mainstream venues (even though I'm tasked with writing edgy, alternative sex for my alt weekly column, I still consider it "mainstream" in the sense that most readers probably haven't heard the word "metamour," and apparently neither has the spell checker on Blogger).
And yes, I'm aware that polyamorous people are often portrayed as rich and white. Not everyone I interviewed is white, and my aim with all my columns and writing is to showcase a diversity of sexual experiences, sexual identities, ages, races and genders. I am working especially on trying to cover topics that aren't being covered elsewhere, to the best of my ability, and to that end, I highly welcome pitches. In Philadelphia City Paper Let's Get It On is a short weekly print and online column about almost anything related to sex; my DAME Shameless Sex column runs every other week and focuses on issues around women and sex, and I also freelance widely for places like Salon about assorted other topics. Hence, I always am on the lookout for new ideas, people, events, kinks to cover. You can reach me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "Column" in the subject line.
February 11, 2015
Hey Brooklyn, come see me Monday and get Best Bondage Erotica 2015 at BookCourt
I forgot a very important bookstore in my list of stores stocking Best Bondage Erotica 2015 and that's BookCourt at 163 Court Street in Brooklyn, where I'm doing a free reading on Monday night, February 16th at 7 p.m. with Melissa Petro and members of the New York Writers Coalition! I lived in Brooklyn for 13 years but don't get there too often now that I'm a Jersey girl, so I'm looking forward to this. I'll be bringing some of these bookmarks and postcards and giving them out free. Excited to do my first reading of 2015 and see my new book in a store for the first time. That is always a wonderful feeling. If you're not in New York but know someone who is who might like a free reading all about sex, please let them know! You can take the F/G to Bergen Street and if you want to share the news on Facebook (no RSVP required), here's the official event listing there. Want to know more about Best Bondage Erotica 2015? The introduction and table of contents are on the official Tumblr.
Come get these Monday night!
Come get these Monday night!
February 10, 2015
Bookstores where you can find Best Bondage Erotica 2015, or I love the words "on our shelves now"
If you've been to more than a handful of independent bookstores in the United States, you'll know that often erotica is scarce. I make it a point to visit bookstores while traveling and aside from Barnes & Noble (where you can also buy this book and I hope you will because that shows them there's a market for kinky erotica from independent publishers), it's often slim pickings. So I want to give an extra special, you-make-my-anthology-work-possible shoutout to the stores that do carry my books. Please buy from them (not just my books but any books), because that is the way they will know there's an audience for the types of books you like. Plus you can always ask your local bookstore to order a book for you.
Based on the information I've received from my publisher Cleis Press, these stores have ordered Best Bondage Erotica 2015 and should have it in stock. There are surely others, but these are the ones I could check out and link to, and I'm happy to update this if other stores want to get in on this hot book action. They are in no particular order save for the order the list was given to me. To make this totally clear, most of these stores have ordered 1, 2 or 3 copies of the book. I've never worked in a bookstore so don't know exactly how the process wrks, but I imagine if people are buying and asking for the book, they will order more. In the long run, that is what determines if books like these keep getting published. If they don't have it on the shelves, ask for it, and if they do, if you send me at bestbondagerotica2015 at gmail.com a photo of the book in their store along with the store name and city that I have your permission to post online (with credit if you want it), and you also send me your mailing address, I will send you a postcard or bookmark in return!
Bluestockings, New York City (Lower East Side!)
Schuler Books and Music, Grand Rapids, Lansing and Okemos, Michigan
Joseph Beth (they have locations in Lexington and Crestwood Hills, Kentucky, and Cincinnati, Ohio - contact individual stores for availability)
Changing Hands Bookstore, Tempe, Arizona (they also have a store in Phoenix)
Skylight Books, Los Angeles
Unabridged Books, Chicago
Harvard Bookstore, Cambridge, Massachusettes
Elliott Bay Book Company, Seattle
Tattered Cover Bookstore, Denver, Colorado
Powell's, Portland, Oregon
McNally Jackson, New York City
Boulder Bookstore, Boulder, Colorado
Shakespeare and Co. Booksellers, 939 Lexington Avenue between 68th and 69th, New York City (sadly, their website tells me the downtown Broadway store, which I fondly remember shopping in when I lived in the NYU dorms from 1996-1999, has closed. Boo. That's why we need to support indie bookstores.)
Bookshop Santa Cruz, Santa Cruz, California
Chaucer's Bookstore, Santa Barbara, California
Left Bank Books (St. Louis, Missouri)
City Lights Books, San Francisco (I'm not seeing it listed on their site, but it was on the list I was given)
Books Inc, San Francisco Bay Area (I'm not sure which locations have it, so call ahead and ask/order)
Self Serve, Albuquerque, New Mexico (it's not in their online store but I know it's in their brick and mortar store)
Based on the information I've received from my publisher Cleis Press, these stores have ordered Best Bondage Erotica 2015 and should have it in stock. There are surely others, but these are the ones I could check out and link to, and I'm happy to update this if other stores want to get in on this hot book action. They are in no particular order save for the order the list was given to me. To make this totally clear, most of these stores have ordered 1, 2 or 3 copies of the book. I've never worked in a bookstore so don't know exactly how the process wrks, but I imagine if people are buying and asking for the book, they will order more. In the long run, that is what determines if books like these keep getting published. If they don't have it on the shelves, ask for it, and if they do, if you send me at bestbondagerotica2015 at gmail.com a photo of the book in their store along with the store name and city that I have your permission to post online (with credit if you want it), and you also send me your mailing address, I will send you a postcard or bookmark in return!
Bluestockings, New York City (Lower East Side!)
Schuler Books and Music, Grand Rapids, Lansing and Okemos, Michigan
Joseph Beth (they have locations in Lexington and Crestwood Hills, Kentucky, and Cincinnati, Ohio - contact individual stores for availability)
Changing Hands Bookstore, Tempe, Arizona (they also have a store in Phoenix)
Skylight Books, Los Angeles
Unabridged Books, Chicago
Harvard Bookstore, Cambridge, Massachusettes
Elliott Bay Book Company, Seattle
Tattered Cover Bookstore, Denver, Colorado
Powell's, Portland, Oregon
McNally Jackson, New York City
Boulder Bookstore, Boulder, Colorado
Shakespeare and Co. Booksellers, 939 Lexington Avenue between 68th and 69th, New York City (sadly, their website tells me the downtown Broadway store, which I fondly remember shopping in when I lived in the NYU dorms from 1996-1999, has closed. Boo. That's why we need to support indie bookstores.)
Bookshop Santa Cruz, Santa Cruz, California
Chaucer's Bookstore, Santa Barbara, California
Left Bank Books (St. Louis, Missouri)
City Lights Books, San Francisco (I'm not seeing it listed on their site, but it was on the list I was given)
Books Inc, San Francisco Bay Area (I'm not sure which locations have it, so call ahead and ask/order)
Self Serve, Albuquerque, New Mexico (it's not in their online store but I know it's in their brick and mortar store)
Why I Want My Date to Plan our Dates, Not An App
I use plenty of apps to help me improve my life, but I am finding many that seem to just be allowing people not to think about basic things, like where to go on a date, in the case of Funspotter, so I wrote "How To Ruin Your Love Life: Use This App" for Thought Catalog. Snapshot below is from one of my favorite dates with my current guy.
Dream achieved: My Yahoo Travel profile of a JetBlue superfan is up
A few years ago, I took a Mediabistro class on travel writing, and while the instructor was fascinating and wonderful, I left discouraged. I don't have what it takes, I concluded, and pretty much set that dream aside, even though I do love traveling and do it a fair amount for work-related events, and sometimes for fun. Today I achieved that dream by having my first article run at Yahoo Travel, about a JetBlue superfan who's taken more than 100 flights since April 2013 on a Ph.D. grad student budget. Travel has changed my life, so it was an honor to profile someone for whom the same can be said. It's also an interesting look at how a brand, in this case JetBlue, can best interact with its customers to make them loyal and also have fun with their Tweeting! I hope you'll check it out, and I hope that I continue to get to write about one of my favorite topics! Here's a snippet: 
And this right here is proof of what he is talking about, in response to my Tweet about the article:
How did the airline win him over? The Boston College PhD student’s JetBlue obsession started by accident. He’d booked a trip to Hawaii with another airline, which bungled his reservation so badly he canceled it and rebooked on JetBlue. Then he took to Twitter. “I first discovered how different JetBlue was when I tweeted them and another airline due to some poor service I experienced,” Brown told Yahoo Travel. “The response was telling. The other airline’s tweet read like a machine-generated form letter. JetBlue’s tweet was personal, and they let me know they were ‘#superexcited’ to have me fly with them.”
And this right here is proof of what he is talking about, in response to my Tweet about the article:
Happy release day Best Bondage Erotica 2015 ebook!
I sometimes feel like my books get two release days: the day the print edition is for sale on Amazon, which is usually before it hits brick and mortar stores, and the day the ebook comes out. Today, for Best Bondage Erotica 2015, print and ebook are for sale, and I'm sharing more links below and shortly will post all the stores that have ordered a copy. I don't know how many more erotica books I'll be editing going forward (I have a few completed ones that will be coming out in 2015 and 2016) as I focus on building the best business I can for myself and transition into writing and teaching for the most part, but I love this book, I love that I got to publish so many new to the genre authors, I love that it's so fun and creative (kinky camping! kinky yoga! home repair plus bondage! knitting as bondage tool!). Don't be confused if you see the old cover (not the one below) on Amazon or elsewhere; that was an early mockup of the cover that got changed at the last minute by my publisher and I'm doing my best to rid the internet of the old version in favor of the real and crazy hot new one.
I truly hope it reaches people who are looking for a sexy read, no matter your personal interest in bondage. I've always believed that a good erotica story should transcend its specific kinks or subgenre. Yes, if you're into bondage, you will likely enjoy a book with this title more than someone not into bondage, but I certainly don't think you have to like or know the first thing about bondage to appreciate the craft, sexiness, humor and hotness of this book. The heart of these stories isn't so much bondage as the relationships between the characters, whether it's the gay male couple making their way to the altar by hook or by crook in "Tying The Knot" by Rob Rosen or the devilish business minds trying to outdo each other in "Bound to Lie" by Nichelle Gregory. And, of course, this is the 5th in the annual series I've edited, so you can also check out Best Bondage Erotica 2011 , Best Bondage Erotica 2012, Best Bondage Erotica 2013 and Best Bondage Erotica 2014 . Don't be fooled by the dates on them; these have kink with no expiration date and are still as sexy as the day they came out. The great downside of an annual anthology is the cliff drop in sales the moment the calendar changes, but some of these have continued to have a life, I think in part because bondage is so popular.
Here's the deal: anything you can do to help this book as it launches into the world is much appreciated. You can leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon, reblog from our Tumblr, follow us @bestbondage on Twitter and like us on Facebook and spread the word there.
And I've got these lovely free postcards and bookmarks! Want one? Just come to any of my upcoming events in Brooklyn, Richmond, Charlottesville (Virginia), Baltimore or CatalystCon in Arlington, Virginia and I'd be happy to give you one!
I truly hope it reaches people who are looking for a sexy read, no matter your personal interest in bondage. I've always believed that a good erotica story should transcend its specific kinks or subgenre. Yes, if you're into bondage, you will likely enjoy a book with this title more than someone not into bondage, but I certainly don't think you have to like or know the first thing about bondage to appreciate the craft, sexiness, humor and hotness of this book. The heart of these stories isn't so much bondage as the relationships between the characters, whether it's the gay male couple making their way to the altar by hook or by crook in "Tying The Knot" by Rob Rosen or the devilish business minds trying to outdo each other in "Bound to Lie" by Nichelle Gregory. And, of course, this is the 5th in the annual series I've edited, so you can also check out Best Bondage Erotica 2011 , Best Bondage Erotica 2012, Best Bondage Erotica 2013 and Best Bondage Erotica 2014 . Don't be fooled by the dates on them; these have kink with no expiration date and are still as sexy as the day they came out. The great downside of an annual anthology is the cliff drop in sales the moment the calendar changes, but some of these have continued to have a life, I think in part because bondage is so popular.
Here's the deal: anything you can do to help this book as it launches into the world is much appreciated. You can leave a review on Goodreads and Amazon, reblog from our Tumblr, follow us @bestbondage on Twitter and like us on Facebook and spread the word there.
And I've got these lovely free postcards and bookmarks! Want one? Just come to any of my upcoming events in Brooklyn, Richmond, Charlottesville (Virginia), Baltimore or CatalystCon in Arlington, Virginia and I'd be happy to give you one!
Buy Best Bondage Erotica 2015 from:
Kindle ebook
Amazon UK
Kindle UK
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)
Table of contents:
Foreword: The Moment by Annabel Joseph
Introduction: Bondage at Home and Away by Rachel Kramer Bussel (see below)
The Centerpiece Erin Spillane
An Unforgettable Ride Elise Hepner
What Happens in Vegas… Tim Rudolph
The Thug Sommer Marsden
Housewarming the Craftsman Daddy X
Multiple Choice Emily Bingham
Tying the Knot Rob Rosen
Baddha Konasana Corvidae
Queen for a Night Robert Black
Bound to Lie Nichelle Gregory
Tied and Twisted Jodie Griffin
Cocoon Annabeth Leong
Auction, in Quotation Marks LN Bey
Melt Elizabeth Coldwell
You Shall Not Come D.L. King
Point and Click L.C. Spoering
Stuck on You Jenne Davis
In Suspense Shenoa Carroll-Bradd
Trinity’s New Hobby Lucy Felthouse
Plastered Anna Watson
Of Human Bondage Rachel Kramer Bussel
February 9, 2015
This erotica book is touring the world, literally, and you can win a copy from Rose Caraway
I love this project that my favorite audiobook narrator Rose Caraway is doing with her first anthology,
The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica
, by sending it around the world to all the contributors to sign it before giving away a signed copy. It was so fun to be part of this project and brought home to me the value of an erotica writing and reading community. I've signed my copies and sent them off to the next contributor. Want to win a copy? Leave Rose a comment now. If you can't wait to read this hot and sexy book, you can get your copy in print, ebook or audiobook (read by Rose, of course), or at your local independent bookstore or directly from Cleis Press. My story "Book Swap," very loosely inspired by an actual airplane ride, opens the book. Also be sure to check out Rose's two podcasts: The Kiss Me Quick's and The Sexy Librarian Blog-Cast.
5 things I'll be doing at CatalystCon
I'm gearing up for next month, which culminates for me at CatalystCon, the sexuality conference that I have had such an amazing time attending and being part of the last few years. It happens twice a year, in March on the East Coast in Arlington, Virginia and in September in the Los Angeles area. This year, I'm wearing many hats, so I wanted to recap what I'll be up to. Use code RACHEL for $10 off registration.
At CatalystCon East, which runs from March 27-29, here's what I'll be up to:
Teaching Erotica and Sex Writing 101 writing workshops
This is my second year teaching these longer (three hours each) writing workshops, and both times I've done it, I've been so incredibly impressed with the attendees. There is a huge level of knowledge, passion, ambition and trust that Catalyst attendees bring and the things they have to say definitely deserve a place in the mainstream world. Why should you attend my workshop? Because I've been writing erotica and about sex for over a decade, with 50+ anthologies edited and over 100 anthologies I've contributed to, including the major annual series such as Best American Erotica, Best Women's Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica and Mammoth Best New Erotica. Additionally, I've interviewed top editors and publishers about what they are looking for. On the nonfiction front, I've been a sex columnist for Philadelphia City Paper and DAME (my current gigs) as well as The Village Voice, Penthouse and The Frisky, plus written about sex for such diverse publications as Cosmopolitan, Elle.com, Glamour, Harper's Bazaar, Inked, Medium, Salon, Slate, Time.com, Time Out New York and others. No experience is necessary, just an open mind and pen and paper or laptop. You can register here.
Speaking on the opening keynote panel
I've never done an opening keynote before, and I'm both excited and nervous, though mainly honored to be joining this panel with Francisco Ramirez, Kristin Beck, Melanie Davis, moderated by Lynn Comella.
Moderating "Sharing Your Sex Life on the Page and the Stage" (March 28, 9:30-10:40 a.m.)
Joining me for this panel will be Cooper Beckett, blogger and founder of podcast Life on the Swingset, Twanna A. Hines, blogger, Metro sex columnist and creator/performer of one-woman Capital Fringe show I Füçkèd Your Country, and Jillian Keenan, who’s written about BDSM and sexuality for The New York Times, Slate and elsewhere, and is at work on a book on Shakespeare and sexuality. Full description at link above.
Making cards with ArtPulp
My amazing boyfriend runs the website ArtPulp, which you should check out if you like art, and will be at Catalyst making one of my favorite things: cards! Here's the official info and click here to learn more:
I'm writing a lot about sex lately, for my two sex columns in Philadelphia City Paper and DAME . As a journalist, CatalystCon always leads me to new subjects and sources, and was in fact the Catalyst for my very first City Paper Let's Get It On column, "Are you a slut?". So I'll be scouring the panel listings and looking to connect with as many people as possible who might have something interesting to share with the world. If you'll be there and have an interesting panel, story, product, event, etc., please get in touch at rachelkb at gmail.com with "Catalyst" in the subject line.
At CatalystCon East, which runs from March 27-29, here's what I'll be up to:
Teaching Erotica and Sex Writing 101 writing workshops
This is my second year teaching these longer (three hours each) writing workshops, and both times I've done it, I've been so incredibly impressed with the attendees. There is a huge level of knowledge, passion, ambition and trust that Catalyst attendees bring and the things they have to say definitely deserve a place in the mainstream world. Why should you attend my workshop? Because I've been writing erotica and about sex for over a decade, with 50+ anthologies edited and over 100 anthologies I've contributed to, including the major annual series such as Best American Erotica, Best Women's Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica and Mammoth Best New Erotica. Additionally, I've interviewed top editors and publishers about what they are looking for. On the nonfiction front, I've been a sex columnist for Philadelphia City Paper and DAME (my current gigs) as well as The Village Voice, Penthouse and The Frisky, plus written about sex for such diverse publications as Cosmopolitan, Elle.com, Glamour, Harper's Bazaar, Inked, Medium, Salon, Slate, Time.com, Time Out New York and others. No experience is necessary, just an open mind and pen and paper or laptop. You can register here.
Speaking on the opening keynote panel
I've never done an opening keynote before, and I'm both excited and nervous, though mainly honored to be joining this panel with Francisco Ramirez, Kristin Beck, Melanie Davis, moderated by Lynn Comella.
Moderating "Sharing Your Sex Life on the Page and the Stage" (March 28, 9:30-10:40 a.m.)
Joining me for this panel will be Cooper Beckett, blogger and founder of podcast Life on the Swingset, Twanna A. Hines, blogger, Metro sex columnist and creator/performer of one-woman Capital Fringe show I Füçkèd Your Country, and Jillian Keenan, who’s written about BDSM and sexuality for The New York Times, Slate and elsewhere, and is at work on a book on Shakespeare and sexuality. Full description at link above.
Making cards with ArtPulp
My amazing boyfriend runs the website ArtPulp, which you should check out if you like art, and will be at Catalyst making one of my favorite things: cards! Here's the official info and click here to learn more:
For a $5 donation to the Center for Sex and Culture attendees will have access to all the supplies they need to create handmade individual 4 x 6 postcards! Everyone will have access to markers, pencils, pastels, photographs, media, and more to help you create a card that showcases why CatalystCon is so important to you. Your CatalystCon Cards will become part of a special online gallery on the all new ArtPulp.net and available to view during the entire weekend. Plus Artpulp.net will mail your postcards to any destination in the US for you if you don’t plan on taking it home to hang on your wall!Interviewing people for my sex columns
I'm writing a lot about sex lately, for my two sex columns in Philadelphia City Paper and DAME . As a journalist, CatalystCon always leads me to new subjects and sources, and was in fact the Catalyst for my very first City Paper Let's Get It On column, "Are you a slut?". So I'll be scouring the panel listings and looking to connect with as many people as possible who might have something interesting to share with the world. If you'll be there and have an interesting panel, story, product, event, etc., please get in touch at rachelkb at gmail.com with "Catalyst" in the subject line.
More about domestic violence survivor Brooke Axtell and her Grammys speech with Katy Perry
Last night's speech by Brooke Axtell during The Grammys ahead of Katy Perry's performance brought tears to my eyes and I'm sure brought hope to those who are dealing with domestic violence in their own lives. If you haven't read it, here's my Q&A with Brooke at Salon, and you can watch her here (this isn't the best quality recording but it's what I could find on YouTube):
Image via @THR (The Hollywood Reporter)
And again, I want to reiterate that if you believe in your work, whatever kind of work it is, it's your job to get it seen by the world. I can't tell you how to do that, but I can tell you that you are in a unique position to get it seen. For instance, last night, Salon posted my interview with Brooke Axtell, but didn't Tweet it. I did, with this image:
People that I would never have thought would retweet me, did. Today, I'm seeing that interview linked in lots of stories about the Grammys. Making your work easy to find means that it's widely accessible. That's important to me no matter the topic I'm writing about and ultimately I think it's part of my brand; I'm someone who not only can write a timely piece, but will be timely about promoting it. As I wrote last week, you're your own best advocate, and for me, since I consider myself in this for the long haul, in addition to being flexible, I know I want to make sure my work gets noticed, so that I can keep on getting more work.
And now, back to this week's deadlines. It's another busy one, especially with my LitReactor class starting Thursday.
Image via @THR (The Hollywood Reporter)
And again, I want to reiterate that if you believe in your work, whatever kind of work it is, it's your job to get it seen by the world. I can't tell you how to do that, but I can tell you that you are in a unique position to get it seen. For instance, last night, Salon posted my interview with Brooke Axtell, but didn't Tweet it. I did, with this image:
People that I would never have thought would retweet me, did. Today, I'm seeing that interview linked in lots of stories about the Grammys. Making your work easy to find means that it's widely accessible. That's important to me no matter the topic I'm writing about and ultimately I think it's part of my brand; I'm someone who not only can write a timely piece, but will be timely about promoting it. As I wrote last week, you're your own best advocate, and for me, since I consider myself in this for the long haul, in addition to being flexible, I know I want to make sure my work gets noticed, so that I can keep on getting more work.
And now, back to this week's deadlines. It's another busy one, especially with my LitReactor class starting Thursday.
February 8, 2015
My Grammys Q&A with Brooke Axtell, who'll join Katy Perry to talk about domestic violence
Whether or not you're watching or care about The Grammys, hopefully you care about preventing domestic violence, so please check out my Q&A at Salon with activist Brooke Axtell, who's about to join Katy Perry onstage to discuss her experience as a domestic violence survivor. If you like it, I'd love it if you'd share it; I've been using my brief stint at Salon to highlight issues around sexuality and activism.
