Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 55
February 19, 2015
My pubic hair sex column in response to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue
This week's Philadelphia City Paper sex column is on pubic hair. The working title I used on my first draft was "Is Pubic Hair The Enemy?" The last draft I saw had this title: "How far will the pube revolution go?" I haven't seen the print version (which sometimes has a slightly different title than the online version) but the online version's title is "Why all this fuss about styling down below?" I would have liked "pubic hair" in the title, but as I will be posting more about soon, my attitude toward life and publishing is Serenity Prayer, Serenity Prayer, Serenity Prayer. I can't control my titles and, to be honest, I want as many people to read my column as possible, so if that title will do it, my editors have my blessing to do what they do best.
Anyway, back to this week's column. I tried to keep it timely and used the reaction to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and model Hannah Davis's bare skin as a starting point to talk about pubic hair.
my column's inspiration
Anyway, back to this week's column. I tried to keep it timely and used the reaction to the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and model Hannah Davis's bare skin as a starting point to talk about pubic hair.
my column's inspiration
February 18, 2015
My next LitReactor online erotica writing class runs May 5-June 2 and registration is open!
My next LitReactor 4-week online erotica writing class runs May 5-June 2 and registration is now open. Full details about each week's lesson and assignments are in the link above.
You also get exclusive Q&As with erotica writers about their experiences (both with self-publishing and traditional publishing) as well as information directly from editors and publishers about what they are looking for now. You can also start discussions and ask questions of me and your fellow students on any matter pertaining to erotica writing and publishing.
I'm teaching my second class and am thrilled with the platform. For me personally, it suits my personality to be able to work on my schedule, to offer answers as students as questions, and to engage in an online discussion forum where I have the opportunity to flesh out my ideas without worrying about the clock counting down, as I do with in-person workshops (which I am also continuing to teach, but the structure is different). I love that you can take this class from anywhere, so international students are welcome, and you can do it on your timetable (you log in and participate as little or often as you want, and have access to the online classroom indefinitely after the class ends). If you have any questions about how it works, feel free to email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "LitReactor" in the subject line and I will respond as soon as I can.
Below, here are what several of my previous LitReactor students have said about the class. I can also tell you that three short stories have now been sold based on that class, and I look forward to hopefully hearing about more story sales.
"Rachel's class was a big confidence booster for those of us writing about often-personal topics. I went in thinking 'maybe I'll publish something someday,' and left knowing where I could start right away." —Roz Brinker, former LitReactor student
"I have no doubt that I am a better writer for taking Rachel’s class—not just a better writer of erotica, but a better writer overall. I initially enrolled primarily for information about the erotica publishing industry. And she provided lots of that, including interviews with publishers and more established writers. But it was the writing experience itself that was the most beneficial. The lessons themselves were informative and very helpful, and perhaps the most useful thing of all was the discipline of having to conceive, write, and revise a story each week based on those lessons. The assignments forced me to focus—and fast, and I am all the better for it." —LN Bey, former LitReactor student
"Rachel's class was a supportive, sage and overall fun place to push myself and explore. Moreover, her knowledge of the erotica market is just as valuable as her insight into the craft of writing itself." —Ashton Peal, former LitReactor student
You also get exclusive Q&As with erotica writers about their experiences (both with self-publishing and traditional publishing) as well as information directly from editors and publishers about what they are looking for now. You can also start discussions and ask questions of me and your fellow students on any matter pertaining to erotica writing and publishing.
I'm teaching my second class and am thrilled with the platform. For me personally, it suits my personality to be able to work on my schedule, to offer answers as students as questions, and to engage in an online discussion forum where I have the opportunity to flesh out my ideas without worrying about the clock counting down, as I do with in-person workshops (which I am also continuing to teach, but the structure is different). I love that you can take this class from anywhere, so international students are welcome, and you can do it on your timetable (you log in and participate as little or often as you want, and have access to the online classroom indefinitely after the class ends). If you have any questions about how it works, feel free to email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "LitReactor" in the subject line and I will respond as soon as I can.
Below, here are what several of my previous LitReactor students have said about the class. I can also tell you that three short stories have now been sold based on that class, and I look forward to hopefully hearing about more story sales.
"Rachel's class was a big confidence booster for those of us writing about often-personal topics. I went in thinking 'maybe I'll publish something someday,' and left knowing where I could start right away." —Roz Brinker, former LitReactor student
"I have no doubt that I am a better writer for taking Rachel’s class—not just a better writer of erotica, but a better writer overall. I initially enrolled primarily for information about the erotica publishing industry. And she provided lots of that, including interviews with publishers and more established writers. But it was the writing experience itself that was the most beneficial. The lessons themselves were informative and very helpful, and perhaps the most useful thing of all was the discipline of having to conceive, write, and revise a story each week based on those lessons. The assignments forced me to focus—and fast, and I am all the better for it." —LN Bey, former LitReactor student
"Rachel's class was a supportive, sage and overall fun place to push myself and explore. Moreover, her knowledge of the erotica market is just as valuable as her insight into the craft of writing itself." —Ashton Peal, former LitReactor student
"My life as a feminist submissive" interview series part 2 at Elle.com
The first entry in my submissive feminist interview series at Elle.com struck a nerve, and on Friday, part 2 went up with the title "My life as a submissive feminist." I see these as an addition to the plethora (though that's an understatement in this case!) of information out there about Fifty Shades of Grey. Why I was especially interested is because I believe in the power of personal stories not to stand in for anyone other than the person telling the story, but as a way to make a topic, in this case, submission, BDSM and feminism, understandable. Maybe relatable, maybe not. I don't think a personal story has to have an agenda, I just think it has to be honest, and these women were extremely honest about a combination of topics that often get treated as if they can't go together.
February 17, 2015
"How to Come Out Like a Porn Star" Q&A with genderqueer porn star Jiz Lee at Salon
My latest at Salon is a Q&A with genderqueer porn star Jiz Lee about their forthcoming anthology How to Come Out Like a Porn Star. As I say in my introduction, although the book is specifically about coming out about involvement with porn, I think the book has larger relevance for those who deal with sex in their work or have any sort of sexual secret (or really, any secret) they want to come out about. Thanks for reading.
February 15, 2015
See you in Brooklyn Monday night for our New York Writers Coalition reading at BookCourt
Yes, it's insanely cold outside, I'm well aware, but if you're up for braving the cold, New Yorkers, I'll be reading from Best Bondage Erotica 2015 tomorrow, Monday night, February 16th at 7 p.m. at BookCourt, 163 Court Street (between Pacific and Dean Streets), in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, along with Melissa Petro and members of nonprofits SAGE and Ali Forney Center as part of the New York Writers Coalition Writing Aloud Series. You can take the F or G trains to Bergen Street.
I know it's winter and I rarely leave my house unless I have to, which is usually to go to the post office (let's hear it for working from home in winter!), so I get that going outside may not be everyone's top priority in this weather, but if you're near BookCourt and/or want to hear some sex stories for free, definitely check it out, and if you're not in the area but know anyone in the NYC area who might appreciate hearing stories and a Q&A about sex, send them our way. It's my first and possibly only time reading from Best Bondage Erotica 2015, and even though after all these years readings still make me a little nervous, they are a rare treat and I'm looking forward to it, cold be damned. I'll have these bookmarks and postcards to hand out:
I know it's winter and I rarely leave my house unless I have to, which is usually to go to the post office (let's hear it for working from home in winter!), so I get that going outside may not be everyone's top priority in this weather, but if you're near BookCourt and/or want to hear some sex stories for free, definitely check it out, and if you're not in the area but know anyone in the NYC area who might appreciate hearing stories and a Q&A about sex, send them our way. It's my first and possibly only time reading from Best Bondage Erotica 2015, and even though after all these years readings still make me a little nervous, they are a rare treat and I'm looking forward to it, cold be damned. I'll have these bookmarks and postcards to hand out:
Like sex toys? Like erotica? Like free books? Sign up to review Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica
I've been editing erotica anthologies for over a decade now, but I still get just as excited as I did with my first one. This year, I'm especially excited about
Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica
, because I think sex toys are becoming more and more talked about and used, and because the authors really brought out their most creative sides. These stories feature men and women using all kinds of sex toys, from some that haven't been invented (but would be wonderful to have in the world!) to many that will be familiar, though often are used in unusual ways. This book was a joy to edit and one of the ones I'm most proud of, and it also welcomes many authors into the world of erotica writing for the first time. It's an honor to have so many debut authors in this anthology.
Because I'm s proud of Come Again and want it to do well enough to allow me to edit another book of sex toy erotica (I got way more amazing submissions than I could use given my word count limit), I'm doing another giveaway of 100 copies of the book, just as I did for The Big Book of Orgasms , to Amazon reviewers. I just ask that you post your review by May 31st; May is National Masturbation Month and I want to show the world and sex toys and masturbation seem to go together (though as you will see in Come Again, they are good for much more than masturbation).
Why am I doing this? Well, for one thing, Amazon reviews help sell books. For another, I love giving away books; I recently sent out about 40 free books to Thunderclap supporters of Best Bondage Erotica 2015. It's a wonderful way to connect personally with readers as I sign and mail out their books, and to see where my books are popular. Third, it's way for people who can't afford to buy my books to get to read them, which is important to me (also you can ask for my books or any books you want to read at your local library!). Fourth, because I believe so strongly in this book, I want the authors to be read as wide and far as possible, and am going to do everything in my power to make that happen. I'm also working on securing a sponsor so I can do a small book tour of sex toy stores and will be connecting with sex toy stores because it's a natural fit for a book of sex toy erotica.
Which brings me to you. What's in this for you? A) a free autographed book, that you will receive before it's even in stores. B) The chance to read and support my work, that of an independent publisher, Cleis Press, and all the authors in the book.
Here's how it works: this promotion is run and paid for entirely by me. Since I am spending around $1,000 of my own money, I have to set some rules for who qualifies. Therefore, I am only offering this promotion to those in the United States who have previously posted at least one Amazon review. This is because I can only afford postage within the U.S. and I want to make sure that you both have an Amazon account you're qualified to post reviews from and that you have previously done so. In the past, I've had people sign up to review books on Amazon and then not have an Amazon account, and the only way I can continue to afford to send out free books (which I really do enjoy) is to make sure reviewers follow through. I wish I could afford to send overseas for this promotion, but at this time I cannot do so. Please support my books so that maybe down the road I can afford to send books overseas for these promotions! And look, I'm not rich. I don't know how many more anthologies I will have the opportunity to edit, so I want to make this one, which I consider one of my best, as popular as it can be. I may not be able to afford a promotion like this again, but while I can, I want to do it.
So with that, to sign up, just be one of the first 100 to do this, and you will get your book the minute the books arrive on my doorstep (I get them straight from the printer so actually get them before they are in stores). Instructions:
1. Email sextoyantho at gmail.com with "Amazon" in the subject line AND your name, U.S. mailing address and URL of a previous Amazon.com review, which will look like this: http://www.amazon.com/review/RZR12JEVAAK0Z/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0062076000&nodeID=283155&store=books. Click on your review's title and then copy and paste the URL for it. If you can't do this, you can send the URL of your Amazon profile which has a link to your review(s).
2. I will reply to everyone, either confirming you are one of the first 100, or letting you know that you're not (and I will update this post once the 100 have been spoken for).
3. For the first 100, once you receive your book, please post an honest review on Amazon.com by May 31st.
4. That's it! Some other ways to follow and support the book: @comeagainbook on Twitter, our Facebook page and Tumblr. Come Again is also on Goodreads, where you can mark that you want to read it (thank you!) and rate it.
Email sextoyantho at gmail.com with any questions and thank you for reading.
Here's more information about Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica:
Table of contents and introduction:
Dare You To Jillian Boyd
The Prototype Malin James
Icy Bed J. Crichton
Surprise Katya Harris
The Superman Dildo E. Bellamy
Lost and Pounded Zee Giovanni
In the Pink Rob Rosen
Dalia’s Toy Corrine A. Silver
Vegetable Love Susan St. Aubin
The Cure for the Common Lay Valerie Alexander
Claws Out Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sex Kitten Errica Liekos
Standard of Care Sybil Rush
Bikery Oliver Hollandaize
Pencil Dick Kathleen Delaney-Adams
A Tale of Two Toys Chris Komodo
Prickles Elizabeth Coldwell
Gift Dena Hankins
Get Your Rocks Off Jocelyn Dex
Byrd and the Bees Kamala St. Deeds
The Secret Shopper Kitten Boheme
Must Love Dolls Giselle Renarde
Sex Sells Adriana Ravenlust
My Life as a Vibrator Livia Ellis
Introduction: Sex Toys Are Everywhere
I love sex toys, both the kinds you can find in sex shops and the kinds you can find pretty much anywhere. Because the truth is, anything can become a sex toy in the right hands, and Come Again proves that.
In these pages, you’ll read about vibrators, butt plugs, strap-on harnesses, dildos, nipple clamps, a sex doll and even a Superman dildo. But you’ll also read about characters so smitten with sex toys they’re willing to go to great lengths to create their own, whether it’s a special bike designed to make pedaling a woman’s favorite sport (in “The Bikery,” by Oliver Hollandaize) or an inflatable ball on a stick (as in “The Prototype,” by Malin James). Perhaps in the future, we’ll have sex toys like the orgasm machine being peddled in “Sex Sells,” by Adriana Ravenlust, or the Simulsphere that provides “The Cure for the Common Lay,” which Valerie Alexander so masterfully serves up.
Sex toys are a perfect complement to a kinky relationship, offering one person the power to control how the other uses his or her toys. In “The Secret Shopper,” by Kitten Boheme, the act of shopping takes on an extremely risqué overtone, while in “Sex Kitten,” by Errica Liekos, a tail and a transgression provide the perfect entrée to a hot scene.
Toys are a wonderful way for couples to double the fun, and that concept is taken to humorous and wonderful heights in “A Tale of Two Toys,” by Chris Komodo, in which the popularity of remote- control vibrators is celebrated. I was awed by the way Giselle Renarde detailed the romance, wonder and pleasure a Japanese sex doll brings to a couple sharing her as they expand their sexual repertoire. Are Honor and Tom having a threesome with Natsuki? In their own special way, yes indeed. Dena Hankins’s “Gift” shows that you’re never too old to explore a new toy.
Nature lovers will appreciate the ingenuity of “Vegetable Love,” by Susan St. Aubin and “Get Your Rocks Off,” by Jocelyn Dex, and I know I’ll be thinking about J. Crichton’s “Icy Bed” every time I take out ice cubes from my freezer.
You’ll find proud toy users and those whose private pleasures wind up being exposed in stories like “Dare You To,” by Jillian Boyd, where the jangling of nipple clamp bells is a little too loud for comfort, and “In The Pink,” by Rob Rosen, in which a masturbatory moment in the office turns into some hands-on sex education.
All of these stories celebrate sex toys for the ways they can shake up a routine, enhance an orgasm, transform an identity or simply add new delights to your sex life. Once you’re done reading, I’m pretty sure, like me, you’ll start seeing sex toys—or at least, potential sex toys—everywhere you go!
Rachel Kramer Bussel
Red Bank, New Jersey
Because I'm s proud of Come Again and want it to do well enough to allow me to edit another book of sex toy erotica (I got way more amazing submissions than I could use given my word count limit), I'm doing another giveaway of 100 copies of the book, just as I did for The Big Book of Orgasms , to Amazon reviewers. I just ask that you post your review by May 31st; May is National Masturbation Month and I want to show the world and sex toys and masturbation seem to go together (though as you will see in Come Again, they are good for much more than masturbation).
Why am I doing this? Well, for one thing, Amazon reviews help sell books. For another, I love giving away books; I recently sent out about 40 free books to Thunderclap supporters of Best Bondage Erotica 2015. It's a wonderful way to connect personally with readers as I sign and mail out their books, and to see where my books are popular. Third, it's way for people who can't afford to buy my books to get to read them, which is important to me (also you can ask for my books or any books you want to read at your local library!). Fourth, because I believe so strongly in this book, I want the authors to be read as wide and far as possible, and am going to do everything in my power to make that happen. I'm also working on securing a sponsor so I can do a small book tour of sex toy stores and will be connecting with sex toy stores because it's a natural fit for a book of sex toy erotica.
Which brings me to you. What's in this for you? A) a free autographed book, that you will receive before it's even in stores. B) The chance to read and support my work, that of an independent publisher, Cleis Press, and all the authors in the book.
Here's how it works: this promotion is run and paid for entirely by me. Since I am spending around $1,000 of my own money, I have to set some rules for who qualifies. Therefore, I am only offering this promotion to those in the United States who have previously posted at least one Amazon review. This is because I can only afford postage within the U.S. and I want to make sure that you both have an Amazon account you're qualified to post reviews from and that you have previously done so. In the past, I've had people sign up to review books on Amazon and then not have an Amazon account, and the only way I can continue to afford to send out free books (which I really do enjoy) is to make sure reviewers follow through. I wish I could afford to send overseas for this promotion, but at this time I cannot do so. Please support my books so that maybe down the road I can afford to send books overseas for these promotions! And look, I'm not rich. I don't know how many more anthologies I will have the opportunity to edit, so I want to make this one, which I consider one of my best, as popular as it can be. I may not be able to afford a promotion like this again, but while I can, I want to do it.
So with that, to sign up, just be one of the first 100 to do this, and you will get your book the minute the books arrive on my doorstep (I get them straight from the printer so actually get them before they are in stores). Instructions:
1. Email sextoyantho at gmail.com with "Amazon" in the subject line AND your name, U.S. mailing address and URL of a previous Amazon.com review, which will look like this: http://www.amazon.com/review/RZR12JEVAAK0Z/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0062076000&nodeID=283155&store=books. Click on your review's title and then copy and paste the URL for it. If you can't do this, you can send the URL of your Amazon profile which has a link to your review(s).
2. I will reply to everyone, either confirming you are one of the first 100, or letting you know that you're not (and I will update this post once the 100 have been spoken for).
3. For the first 100, once you receive your book, please post an honest review on Amazon.com by May 31st.
4. That's it! Some other ways to follow and support the book: @comeagainbook on Twitter, our Facebook page and Tumblr. Come Again is also on Goodreads, where you can mark that you want to read it (thank you!) and rate it.
Email sextoyantho at gmail.com with any questions and thank you for reading.
Here's more information about Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica:
Table of contents and introduction:
Dare You To Jillian Boyd
The Prototype Malin James
Icy Bed J. Crichton
Surprise Katya Harris
The Superman Dildo E. Bellamy
Lost and Pounded Zee Giovanni
In the Pink Rob Rosen
Dalia’s Toy Corrine A. Silver
Vegetable Love Susan St. Aubin
The Cure for the Common Lay Valerie Alexander
Claws Out Rachel Kramer Bussel
Sex Kitten Errica Liekos
Standard of Care Sybil Rush
Bikery Oliver Hollandaize
Pencil Dick Kathleen Delaney-Adams
A Tale of Two Toys Chris Komodo
Prickles Elizabeth Coldwell
Gift Dena Hankins
Get Your Rocks Off Jocelyn Dex
Byrd and the Bees Kamala St. Deeds
The Secret Shopper Kitten Boheme
Must Love Dolls Giselle Renarde
Sex Sells Adriana Ravenlust
My Life as a Vibrator Livia Ellis
Introduction: Sex Toys Are Everywhere
I love sex toys, both the kinds you can find in sex shops and the kinds you can find pretty much anywhere. Because the truth is, anything can become a sex toy in the right hands, and Come Again proves that.
In these pages, you’ll read about vibrators, butt plugs, strap-on harnesses, dildos, nipple clamps, a sex doll and even a Superman dildo. But you’ll also read about characters so smitten with sex toys they’re willing to go to great lengths to create their own, whether it’s a special bike designed to make pedaling a woman’s favorite sport (in “The Bikery,” by Oliver Hollandaize) or an inflatable ball on a stick (as in “The Prototype,” by Malin James). Perhaps in the future, we’ll have sex toys like the orgasm machine being peddled in “Sex Sells,” by Adriana Ravenlust, or the Simulsphere that provides “The Cure for the Common Lay,” which Valerie Alexander so masterfully serves up.
Sex toys are a perfect complement to a kinky relationship, offering one person the power to control how the other uses his or her toys. In “The Secret Shopper,” by Kitten Boheme, the act of shopping takes on an extremely risqué overtone, while in “Sex Kitten,” by Errica Liekos, a tail and a transgression provide the perfect entrée to a hot scene.
Toys are a wonderful way for couples to double the fun, and that concept is taken to humorous and wonderful heights in “A Tale of Two Toys,” by Chris Komodo, in which the popularity of remote- control vibrators is celebrated. I was awed by the way Giselle Renarde detailed the romance, wonder and pleasure a Japanese sex doll brings to a couple sharing her as they expand their sexual repertoire. Are Honor and Tom having a threesome with Natsuki? In their own special way, yes indeed. Dena Hankins’s “Gift” shows that you’re never too old to explore a new toy.
Nature lovers will appreciate the ingenuity of “Vegetable Love,” by Susan St. Aubin and “Get Your Rocks Off,” by Jocelyn Dex, and I know I’ll be thinking about J. Crichton’s “Icy Bed” every time I take out ice cubes from my freezer.
You’ll find proud toy users and those whose private pleasures wind up being exposed in stories like “Dare You To,” by Jillian Boyd, where the jangling of nipple clamp bells is a little too loud for comfort, and “In The Pink,” by Rob Rosen, in which a masturbatory moment in the office turns into some hands-on sex education.
All of these stories celebrate sex toys for the ways they can shake up a routine, enhance an orgasm, transform an identity or simply add new delights to your sex life. Once you’re done reading, I’m pretty sure, like me, you’ll start seeing sex toys—or at least, potential sex toys—everywhere you go!
Rachel Kramer Bussel
Red Bank, New Jersey
February 14, 2015
Virginia is for LoveFest - see you in Charlottesville March 22nd
I'll be participating in two events on Sunday, March 22nd as part of LoveFest, part of Virginia Festival of the Book, which has an amazing lineup of authors. I plan to take notes on so I know who I want to see (Deafo author CeCe Bell, who was just award a Newbury Honor for her amazing graphic memoir, is already on my list!).
What else will I be doing in Virginia in March? Signing books at Fountain Bookstore in Richmond, Virginia, on Friday, March 20th with Kristina Wright at 12:30 p.m. (this will be on their site soon) and teaching, speaking and panel moderating at CataystCon in Arlington March 27-29, with a detour out of Virginia to Baltimore to teach my Erotica 101 writing workshop at Sugar on March 24th.
Thank you to Madeline Iva, who you should check out at Lady Smut, for inviting me. And yes, I write and edit more erotica than erotic romance, but I think this will be an interesting discussion and have plenty to say. Here's what's happening:
LoveFest Workshop: “Screaming To Be Ignored” — Capturing the Reader’s Attention
Sun. March 22, 12:30 pm - 1:30 pm
Barnes & Noble
1035 Emmet Street North, Barracks Road Shopping Center, Charlottesville, VA 22903
Hosted by: Barnes & Noble
“Every day hundreds of stories cross my desk, each one screaming to be ignored.” — Gordon Lish. How do you make your story capture a reader’s attention instantly? In this free workshop, anonymous would-be authors may submit short works: a one page query or the first ten pages of a novel. Published authors and savvy editors will use these submissions as a launching point to discuss their favorite writing craft tips.
Want to submit your work? The first 30 submissions received the day of the event will be considered on a first come/first serve basis. Look for the submissions box at the Barnes & Noble Information Desk. The store opens at 9 AM.
Participating authors and editors: Joanna Bourne, Mary Burton, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Melissa Marr, Mary Jo Putney, Kristina Wright. Moderator: Kimberly Kincaid.
LoveFest Book Signing: Meet & Greet Romance Authors
Sun. March 22, 2:45 pm - 4:30 pm
Barnes & Noble
1035 Emmet Street North, Barracks Road Shopping Center, Charlottesville, VA 22903
Hosted by: Barnes & Noble
Come join thirteen romance authors for one-on-one book chat in a friendly setting. Authors are available for book signing and photographs.
Participating authors: Joanna Bourne, Mollie Cox Bryan, Mary Burton, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Avery Flynn, Sabrina Jeffries, Kimberly Kincaid, Kieran Kramer, Sue London, Melissa Marr, Pam Morsi, Mary Jo Putney, Kristina Wright.
What else will I be doing in Virginia in March? Signing books at Fountain Bookstore in Richmond, Virginia, on Friday, March 20th with Kristina Wright at 12:30 p.m. (this will be on their site soon) and teaching, speaking and panel moderating at CataystCon in Arlington March 27-29, with a detour out of Virginia to Baltimore to teach my Erotica 101 writing workshop at Sugar on March 24th.
Thank you to Madeline Iva, who you should check out at Lady Smut, for inviting me. And yes, I write and edit more erotica than erotic romance, but I think this will be an interesting discussion and have plenty to say. Here's what's happening:
LoveFest Workshop: “Screaming To Be Ignored” — Capturing the Reader’s Attention
Sun. March 22, 12:30 pm - 1:30 pm
Barnes & Noble
1035 Emmet Street North, Barracks Road Shopping Center, Charlottesville, VA 22903
Hosted by: Barnes & Noble
“Every day hundreds of stories cross my desk, each one screaming to be ignored.” — Gordon Lish. How do you make your story capture a reader’s attention instantly? In this free workshop, anonymous would-be authors may submit short works: a one page query or the first ten pages of a novel. Published authors and savvy editors will use these submissions as a launching point to discuss their favorite writing craft tips.
Want to submit your work? The first 30 submissions received the day of the event will be considered on a first come/first serve basis. Look for the submissions box at the Barnes & Noble Information Desk. The store opens at 9 AM.
Participating authors and editors: Joanna Bourne, Mary Burton, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Melissa Marr, Mary Jo Putney, Kristina Wright. Moderator: Kimberly Kincaid.
LoveFest Book Signing: Meet & Greet Romance Authors
Sun. March 22, 2:45 pm - 4:30 pm
Barnes & Noble
1035 Emmet Street North, Barracks Road Shopping Center, Charlottesville, VA 22903
Hosted by: Barnes & Noble
Come join thirteen romance authors for one-on-one book chat in a friendly setting. Authors are available for book signing and photographs.
Participating authors: Joanna Bourne, Mollie Cox Bryan, Mary Burton, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Avery Flynn, Sabrina Jeffries, Kimberly Kincaid, Kieran Kramer, Sue London, Melissa Marr, Pam Morsi, Mary Jo Putney, Kristina Wright.
February 13, 2015
My essay collection Sex & Cupcakes is now an audiobook that's only $2.99
When I broached the idea of putting out an audiobook of my essay collection
Sex & Cupcakes: A Juicy Collection of Essays
to my publisher Thought Catalog Books, there was only one person I had in mind to narrate it: Rose Caraway. Why? Because she has a gorgeous voice and has been the most professional, wonderful and creative person who's narrated my audiobooks. She's turned my audiobooks for
Gotta Have It
and
The Big Book of Orgasms
into runaway bestsellers that have literally gotten me through otherwise tough financial times and brought the words of those authors to countless new listeners who wouldn't have found the print or ebook versions.
I've been so incredibly impressed by her work ethic, passion for her job and smartness, and I also knew she could do justice to these words that are so often about me at my most vulnerable. So now you can listen to her read my essays for just $2.99 (and only $2.09 if you're an Audible member!). Thank you for reading, and listening, and I look forward to collaborating with Rose again. Update: it's working. I'm thrilled to have this collection in the world in both ebook and audiobook formats.
I've been so incredibly impressed by her work ethic, passion for her job and smartness, and I also knew she could do justice to these words that are so often about me at my most vulnerable. So now you can listen to her read my essays for just $2.99 (and only $2.09 if you're an Audible member!). Thank you for reading, and listening, and I look forward to collaborating with Rose again. Update: it's working. I'm thrilled to have this collection in the world in both ebook and audiobook formats.
On polyamory and writing what you don't know
The introduction to my ebook essay collection
Sex & Cupcakes
is called "Writing What You Know When You Write About Sex." That I think does apply to personal essays, which make up the bulk of the book, but in my work as a sex columnist, I'm primarily writing about other people's sex lives.
To research my recent polyamory and metamour column, "Love the one you're with - and the one they're with, too," I posted a question on a polyamory forum and someone asked me if I identify as poly. It's complicated, and there's more on that in my essay "Monogamishmash" (in Sex & Cupcakes) but the short answer would be no. I'm in a monogamous relationship right now, although I wouldn't say I truly identify with the word "monogamous" as a way to describe me. But that's part of why I was all the more interested in exploring polyamory. I may be doing monogamy right now, but I still hate the way monogamy is shoved down our thoughts from the youngest of ages as the one and only way to go about love, the biggest goal, the most glittering trophy. Metamours seemed like a way to link that to Valentine's Day to keep it timely and offer some different POVs on the topic.
There's a gap between my experiences and those of the people I profiled, and I value that. I learn from that. Always. I don't think I could bring myself to write essays about myself and my sex life every day, or even every week. part of what keeps my mind alive and alert is talking to other people, being professionally nosy, and then, on a personal level, processing that information back into my life, figuring out what I can learn from people who are different me.
Certainly, when I finally get around to zeroing in on my biggest experience as a metamour, it will be nothing like that column. It will be dark, ugly and messy. It will be about my lowest, in a way, moment, a rock bottom that I think about often as a way to stabilize myself and remember how I do not want to behave. It's something I'm not sure I'd say I'm ashamed of, or even regret, but that was deeply impactful in all aspects of my life. I remember it like yesterday, which is probably why I feel this need to write about it three years later.
It calls to me because I'm often dark, ugly and messy, and always deeply, deeply imperfect. I will never be otherwise. But I think what I try my hardest to do is both write about my own experiences when a piece calls for it, but also look beyond my own experiences, because they will always be a narrow, singular, strictly subjective view. I'm honored and grateful to have the opportunity to write these sex columns, and if they end tomorrow, I will have been proud of the work I've done on them. So with that, Happy Valentine's Day, one day early.
To research my recent polyamory and metamour column, "Love the one you're with - and the one they're with, too," I posted a question on a polyamory forum and someone asked me if I identify as poly. It's complicated, and there's more on that in my essay "Monogamishmash" (in Sex & Cupcakes) but the short answer would be no. I'm in a monogamous relationship right now, although I wouldn't say I truly identify with the word "monogamous" as a way to describe me. But that's part of why I was all the more interested in exploring polyamory. I may be doing monogamy right now, but I still hate the way monogamy is shoved down our thoughts from the youngest of ages as the one and only way to go about love, the biggest goal, the most glittering trophy. Metamours seemed like a way to link that to Valentine's Day to keep it timely and offer some different POVs on the topic.
There's a gap between my experiences and those of the people I profiled, and I value that. I learn from that. Always. I don't think I could bring myself to write essays about myself and my sex life every day, or even every week. part of what keeps my mind alive and alert is talking to other people, being professionally nosy, and then, on a personal level, processing that information back into my life, figuring out what I can learn from people who are different me.
Certainly, when I finally get around to zeroing in on my biggest experience as a metamour, it will be nothing like that column. It will be dark, ugly and messy. It will be about my lowest, in a way, moment, a rock bottom that I think about often as a way to stabilize myself and remember how I do not want to behave. It's something I'm not sure I'd say I'm ashamed of, or even regret, but that was deeply impactful in all aspects of my life. I remember it like yesterday, which is probably why I feel this need to write about it three years later.
It calls to me because I'm often dark, ugly and messy, and always deeply, deeply imperfect. I will never be otherwise. But I think what I try my hardest to do is both write about my own experiences when a piece calls for it, but also look beyond my own experiences, because they will always be a narrow, singular, strictly subjective view. I'm honored and grateful to have the opportunity to write these sex columns, and if they end tomorrow, I will have been proud of the work I've done on them. So with that, Happy Valentine's Day, one day early.
February 12, 2015
How slut shaming and sexual violence are connected, at DAME
The topic of slut shaming is far vaster and more insidious than I realized before reading two new books on the topic, I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet by Leora Tanenbaum, and SLUT: A Play and Guidebook for Combating Sexism and Sexual Violence, and I examined what I consider the most troubling aspect of this for my latest column at DAME. There was a lot I didn't have room for, but I hope this helps foster conversation and especially encourage all of you who have teenagers in your lives to check out StopSlut and the play SLUT. I saw it last year and was very moved; it's a powerful piece of art that brought this issue home from the voices of teenage girls.
