Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 60
January 8, 2015
Bisexual male swinger Cooper Beckett on life as a swinger
For my latest Philadelphia City Paper column I wrote about swinging. Official title: "Swingers are speaking out and changing the traditional rules" (this column is definitely the one where I'm given the longest titles I've ever had!). If you're in Philadelphia, check it out in print every week. I profiled Cooper Beckett of Life on the Swingset and his new book My Life on the Swingset, and we discussed negotiating, jealousy, how the TV show Hannibal is part of his relationship rules, swinger stereotypes and more. He will also be on my CatalystCon panel Sharing Your Sex Life on the Page and the Stage on March 28th from 9:30- a.m. in Arlington, Virginia. As always, I welcome your suggestions for future columns! Email rachelkb at gmail.com with "City Paper" in the subject line.
If you like the column, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd share it/like it/etc. It helps let them know people want to read about sex!
If you like the column, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd share it/like it/etc. It helps let them know people want to read about sex!
January 7, 2015
In which I learn that living in a house doesn't mean you're rich
That's what I always thought growing up in an apartment. Now I live in a house, and here's my snow-covered swing and an essay all about it, including the vicious start to 2014 which led to the silver lining of moving into this cozy place that has skylights and a basement (!! after living in a Brooklyn apartment with no closets for 13 years, a basement deserves endless exclamation points), and the office where I'm now typing. My working title was "House Proud" but the title Thought Catalog went with was "How My First House Changed My Perspective Of Wealth And Contentment," which is also accurate.
Do I deserve a spanking?
The title of this post is a bit tongue in cheek, partly because I'm one of those people who enjoys spanking so don't ever feel like I need to "deserve" one. But I did want to say that as the new year settles in, I'm finding it challenging to catch up on everyone I want to interview, every article and story I want to write, every person I want to interview (aka, author of every book I'm reading, and there are several). You get the idea. One of my big realizations in 2014 was that I tend to take on a lot, because I'm very excited about lots of things at once, and that I need to slow down and be more strategic. Part of me thinks that if I only wrote about one topic, sex, I would be all set, because that's what I'm known for, that's what I'm asked to do readings about (like one coming up February 16th in Brooklyn!), that's what I teach writing workshops about.
As I gear up for a the start of a second sex column, I, stubbornly, am both excited about all these opportunities, and also itching to write about other topics too. It's a tricky balance, because sometimes I feel like the smart writers focus and own a single topic, whereas I am sort of bouncing around here and there with sex as the core. And yet, that interest in lots of different things is as much a part of me as my love of spanking.
I actually started this post thinking it would be a light-hearted way of reiterating my thanks; my editor told me my spanking column is doing well, which makes me happy. I write for an alt weekly, so unlike some online publications, I get the same rate whether one person reads it or one million, though I'm pretty sure if either of those things happened there would be cause for alarm and celebration respectively. But doing well matters to me, trying to improve, savoring the here and now rather than constantly looking to tomorrow/next week/next year/the future that may or may not ever come to pass.
Part of that taking on too much is about me fearing that any one thing I do, or even ten things, isn't enough. But it's a vicious cycle, because it's never enough, and that's when I wake up from work nightmares wondering how my dream job, where I get to wake up each day, brew a pot of coffee, and sit down at my laptop, has lost its luster. In reality, it hasn't; I have, and I'm trying to get it back, trying to fall in love with words again, with communicating, whether that's figuring out how to amp up a client's story or put my most embarrassing moments into essay form or try to ask someone questions they haven't been asked a million times before. The truth is, the only time I deserve to be punished is when I don't write, when I avoid writing, when I shun it because I'm afraid of it not being good enough. Then, trust me, I punish myself aplenty. So now I will go write in my already-neglected gratitude journal.
As I gear up for a the start of a second sex column, I, stubbornly, am both excited about all these opportunities, and also itching to write about other topics too. It's a tricky balance, because sometimes I feel like the smart writers focus and own a single topic, whereas I am sort of bouncing around here and there with sex as the core. And yet, that interest in lots of different things is as much a part of me as my love of spanking.
I actually started this post thinking it would be a light-hearted way of reiterating my thanks; my editor told me my spanking column is doing well, which makes me happy. I write for an alt weekly, so unlike some online publications, I get the same rate whether one person reads it or one million, though I'm pretty sure if either of those things happened there would be cause for alarm and celebration respectively. But doing well matters to me, trying to improve, savoring the here and now rather than constantly looking to tomorrow/next week/next year/the future that may or may not ever come to pass.
Part of that taking on too much is about me fearing that any one thing I do, or even ten things, isn't enough. But it's a vicious cycle, because it's never enough, and that's when I wake up from work nightmares wondering how my dream job, where I get to wake up each day, brew a pot of coffee, and sit down at my laptop, has lost its luster. In reality, it hasn't; I have, and I'm trying to get it back, trying to fall in love with words again, with communicating, whether that's figuring out how to amp up a client's story or put my most embarrassing moments into essay form or try to ask someone questions they haven't been asked a million times before. The truth is, the only time I deserve to be punished is when I don't write, when I avoid writing, when I shun it because I'm afraid of it not being good enough. Then, trust me, I punish myself aplenty. So now I will go write in my already-neglected gratitude journal.
January 6, 2015
Want a free copy of Best Bondage Erotica 2015? Join the Thunderclap and help celebrate this hot new book!
Sometimes, life seems to laugh at me. Today was one of those days; not because I skipped errands yesterday and had to do them today in the snow, which actually was quite lovely, and made me grateful to return to the warmth of my office where the heat is blasting away. No, life laughed at me because for weeks I've been meaning to send out an author update on my shipping-from-the-printer-very-soon anthology
Best Bondage Erotica 2015
and to start a Thunderclap campaign for it (more on that in a moment).
Today I finally did...and it turned out I was using the wrong cover! Sometimes, despite what we as authors/editors would like, changes happen and we don't find out. So of course I not only sent all the authors an email about the book but I also added the old cover all over social media and only then did I click through to Amazon, which is currently showing the correct cover for the paperback and the old wrong cover for the Kindle. I felt stupid, because one thing I'm trying to do this year is cut back on self-promotional Tweets and other postings in favor of my substantive and hopefully helpful posts. I love Twitter, and have connected with amazing authors and readers there, but I know that there's a fine line between saying something interesting and shilling, and I don't want to cross it from my personal account (I made @bestbondage just for that purpose though).
Long story short, I felt pretty foolish but then remembered that I have this awesome book full of something I don't see as often as I'd like in submissions to my books: femdom! What's also fascinating to me is that there are two home repair bondage stories and two kinky camping stories, plus other fun twists, including using a material for bondage I never would have considered, though I have used it for non-bondage purposes. So without further ado, here's the new final cover of the book. I am a book and editor nerd so I have my copies sent directly from the printer.
I'm hoping they arrive before I escape the winter cold for a few days on the beach but whenever they get here, I will be posting photos, because my favorite days as an anthology editor are when that box arrives and I open it and see the fruit of my labor. One of the great things about editing an annual series is feeling a smidge less guilty about sending out rejection letters because I know I will have another call up (and I will post that the second it's finalized!). Well, I probably still feel just as awful as ever--it's by far the worst part of my job--but it does mean that I at least know I'll be able to start fresh with a new year and new batch of authors.
I save room in every anthology for authors I've never published before, and this year those include Tim Rudolph, longtime Erotica Readers & Writers Association member Daddy X, Robert Black, erotic novelists Nichelle Gregory and Jodie Griffin, LN Bey and Jenne Davis of Clitical. That is the best part of what I do, because I will never forget seeing my name in a book for the first time, and being able to publish these authors, and getting to introduce at least two newcomers to the genre with their first published stories, means the world to me. So feast on this final gorgeous cover, take heed of my error and always make sure your cover is the right one before you post it, and stay tuned for the release! You can check out the Table of Contents and my introduction on Tumblr.
So back to Thunderclap: how it works is kind of like Kickstarter, but where Kickstarter gathers funds, Thunderclap gathers people. The idea is that 100 people posting about a book release at the same day and time has a lot more impact than those same 100 people each posting on different days. My campaign looks like this:
It's something I'm trying for the first time, it being a new year, a new book and me realizing last year I have to innovate or give up. So here's my special offer. If you join the Thunderclap, which means you allow Thunderclap to post from your Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr account on February 3rd at 11 a.m. EST about the book, I'll send you a free copy later that day. Just join the Thunderclap now, send me your name and mailing address and Facebook or Tumblr URL or Twitter handle (whichever method you chose) to bestbondage2015 at gmail.com with "Thunderclap" in the subject line and then you'll get a signed copy the next week, just in time for Valentine's Day. I'm limiting this to the next 99 people to sign up for the Thunderclap, which I probably don't need to say, but I will. THANK YOU for helping the series succeed. I am so proud of it and how the authors have taught me so much about bondage, and hope you love it as much as I do.
Today I finally did...and it turned out I was using the wrong cover! Sometimes, despite what we as authors/editors would like, changes happen and we don't find out. So of course I not only sent all the authors an email about the book but I also added the old cover all over social media and only then did I click through to Amazon, which is currently showing the correct cover for the paperback and the old wrong cover for the Kindle. I felt stupid, because one thing I'm trying to do this year is cut back on self-promotional Tweets and other postings in favor of my substantive and hopefully helpful posts. I love Twitter, and have connected with amazing authors and readers there, but I know that there's a fine line between saying something interesting and shilling, and I don't want to cross it from my personal account (I made @bestbondage just for that purpose though).
Long story short, I felt pretty foolish but then remembered that I have this awesome book full of something I don't see as often as I'd like in submissions to my books: femdom! What's also fascinating to me is that there are two home repair bondage stories and two kinky camping stories, plus other fun twists, including using a material for bondage I never would have considered, though I have used it for non-bondage purposes. So without further ado, here's the new final cover of the book. I am a book and editor nerd so I have my copies sent directly from the printer.
I'm hoping they arrive before I escape the winter cold for a few days on the beach but whenever they get here, I will be posting photos, because my favorite days as an anthology editor are when that box arrives and I open it and see the fruit of my labor. One of the great things about editing an annual series is feeling a smidge less guilty about sending out rejection letters because I know I will have another call up (and I will post that the second it's finalized!). Well, I probably still feel just as awful as ever--it's by far the worst part of my job--but it does mean that I at least know I'll be able to start fresh with a new year and new batch of authors.
I save room in every anthology for authors I've never published before, and this year those include Tim Rudolph, longtime Erotica Readers & Writers Association member Daddy X, Robert Black, erotic novelists Nichelle Gregory and Jodie Griffin, LN Bey and Jenne Davis of Clitical. That is the best part of what I do, because I will never forget seeing my name in a book for the first time, and being able to publish these authors, and getting to introduce at least two newcomers to the genre with their first published stories, means the world to me. So feast on this final gorgeous cover, take heed of my error and always make sure your cover is the right one before you post it, and stay tuned for the release! You can check out the Table of Contents and my introduction on Tumblr.
So back to Thunderclap: how it works is kind of like Kickstarter, but where Kickstarter gathers funds, Thunderclap gathers people. The idea is that 100 people posting about a book release at the same day and time has a lot more impact than those same 100 people each posting on different days. My campaign looks like this:
It's something I'm trying for the first time, it being a new year, a new book and me realizing last year I have to innovate or give up. So here's my special offer. If you join the Thunderclap, which means you allow Thunderclap to post from your Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr account on February 3rd at 11 a.m. EST about the book, I'll send you a free copy later that day. Just join the Thunderclap now, send me your name and mailing address and Facebook or Tumblr URL or Twitter handle (whichever method you chose) to bestbondage2015 at gmail.com with "Thunderclap" in the subject line and then you'll get a signed copy the next week, just in time for Valentine's Day. I'm limiting this to the next 99 people to sign up for the Thunderclap, which I probably don't need to say, but I will. THANK YOU for helping the series succeed. I am so proud of it and how the authors have taught me so much about bondage, and hope you love it as much as I do.
January 2, 2015
Spanking is popular as proven by my first sex column of 2015
My January 1st sex column "A good spanking really turns me on" went online a day early, and managed to teach me an important lesson. Lately I've been bursting with ideas for fiction and nonfiction, but less confident about executing them. I get nervous and petrified, and choose to believe the rejections mean I am unfit to write, rather than simply that I need to polish my piece and get it back in circulation and keep on writing and submitting, writing and submitting, repeat every day.
So because I was in a bit of a slump from around my birthday November 10th through the end of the year, I've been doubting myself, especially when it comes to my own words and thoughts. Pieces where I rely on someone else's expertise I can totally handle because they aren't about me. So I cobbled together the spanking column and even though it wasn't "perfect" or what I had hoped it would be, I turned it in lest I turn in nothing and get fired from a magical job that I love.
Well, as tends to happen in my moments of deepest doubt, it turns out that spanking is actually pretty popular, no doubt aided by the stellar choice of a photo. I feel dumb for not knowing this until a few months ago, but I've been told by multiple social media experts that posts with photos do better than posts without them. So thank you, all you spanking lovers who've read and Tweeted and blogged the column, for giving my 2015 a much-needed boost and reminding me that imperfect is okay too. For me, the reality is that a weekly column is a blessing that sometimes feels like a curse. I plan several weeks ahead but sometimes get stuck by my own doubt. I want to cover every possible base and idea and possibility when with only 650 words to work with, you actually have to be very on point and focused and zooming in on your topic. I've got a lot of great pieces lined up, trying to probe many aspects of sexuality, and I'm prepping to start a whole new sex column aimed at a different audience for a publication I'm also honored to work with. Plus other non-sex pieces that I hope to get out there soon, because I always want to have one foot outside the sex world. I'm proud to be a sex columnist and erotica editor and author, but "sex writer" feels a bit too much like "writer who can only write about one topic" to me. So those are my thoughts on this second day of the new year, with the shining blasting through my window, me eavesdropping on the workers drilling outside my bedroom window, and eager to get my brain and words back on track. I wish you many words, spoken, written and read, in the new year.
So because I was in a bit of a slump from around my birthday November 10th through the end of the year, I've been doubting myself, especially when it comes to my own words and thoughts. Pieces where I rely on someone else's expertise I can totally handle because they aren't about me. So I cobbled together the spanking column and even though it wasn't "perfect" or what I had hoped it would be, I turned it in lest I turn in nothing and get fired from a magical job that I love.
Well, as tends to happen in my moments of deepest doubt, it turns out that spanking is actually pretty popular, no doubt aided by the stellar choice of a photo. I feel dumb for not knowing this until a few months ago, but I've been told by multiple social media experts that posts with photos do better than posts without them. So thank you, all you spanking lovers who've read and Tweeted and blogged the column, for giving my 2015 a much-needed boost and reminding me that imperfect is okay too. For me, the reality is that a weekly column is a blessing that sometimes feels like a curse. I plan several weeks ahead but sometimes get stuck by my own doubt. I want to cover every possible base and idea and possibility when with only 650 words to work with, you actually have to be very on point and focused and zooming in on your topic. I've got a lot of great pieces lined up, trying to probe many aspects of sexuality, and I'm prepping to start a whole new sex column aimed at a different audience for a publication I'm also honored to work with. Plus other non-sex pieces that I hope to get out there soon, because I always want to have one foot outside the sex world. I'm proud to be a sex columnist and erotica editor and author, but "sex writer" feels a bit too much like "writer who can only write about one topic" to me. So those are my thoughts on this second day of the new year, with the shining blasting through my window, me eavesdropping on the workers drilling outside my bedroom window, and eager to get my brain and words back on track. I wish you many words, spoken, written and read, in the new year.
December 23, 2014
The magical sex column that boosted my 2014
Sometimes freelancing, well, sucks. Day to day I vacillate on whether I know what I'm doing or should chuck it all in and try to look for a secure job, though who knows if any job is truly "secure" these days. Maybe not day to day, but this month that is accurate, and certainly not a month goes by when I don't wonder if I should be doing this, if I'm pulling my financial weight in my household, if I have what it takes to make a living at this (I believe in myself as a writer, but you have to write a ton and edit lots of maybe-they'll-sell-maybe-they-won't anthologies to make a living). So yes, I do find myself thinking jealously of my friends with steady jobs or other means of financial security. Then I remember that my #1 life goal right now is to be a work at home mom, and while it will be up to the universe whether I get to the mom part, it seems, the work at home part is up to me.
Mostly, what I've learned in the last 3 years as a full-time freelancer is that you never know what will happen, good or bad. Gigs magically arrive and are sometimes over before they even start. Sometimes the gig I'm excited about at first becomes arduous and next to impossible. I will be reading and following and trying to absorb by osmosis The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte so I can get my work life in line with what I want to be putting out into the world and what I'm good at. I will be focusing more on teaching erotica and sex writing in the new year, which is part of why I started my Erotica Writing Tip Tuesday posts. They're also, it should be clear, a reminder to me that I can do this writing thing, even when it's hard, even when I don't feel like I have a clear path, even amidst rejection.
All that is a way to preface one of the 3 giant career gifts I was given this year. I say "gifts" because that is how they each felt, even though they were gifts I've been working toward since leaving law school sans degree back in 1999. That is something that will forever hang over my head, but it was also a learning experience that taught me that even if you push yourself, sometimes a career path just isn't right, and something about this one is. Which is why when I woke up at CatalystCon in September to an email from the editor of Philadelphia City Paper asking me if I wanted to write a sex column for them, even though I'm actually a Jersey girl, felt like this wondrous gift. I've never had a steady weekly gig like this and sometimes that's a lot of pressure, but it also pushes me to seek out and find topics and events and people I wouldn't have otherwise. Another key difference aside from word count and timing from my Voice column is that I'm in a live-in monogamous going-on-three-years relationship. There's less to write about my own sex life than there was in my single days, and that's a good thing. I will probably always write about my life, but it will probably be more about me as a hoarder and a traveler and other aspects of me than just what I do in bed, though there are hints of it in the columns below, like when I prefer sex, what I wore for my first pegging, the joy of blowjobs and such.
I have no idea how long it will last, because you never do with these things, but my dream is to get to write a column a week for all of 2015, to stretch myself and grow and get sharper about writing to a relatively small word count, to showcase for myself and my readers about aspect of sex I/they hadn't thought of before. Bottom line: for however long this column lasts and my stint as a freelancer lasts, I will be grateful. I will also work harder to nurture and sustain my career so I can be the mashup writer/editor/teacher/speaker/blogger I am now.
So as the year wraps up with this final 2014 column, I wanted to say thank you to the paper, the universe and whatever other forces gave me this opportunity, and to highlight the columns I've written so far. In chronological order from the first one to this week's, here are my City Paper sex columns:
"Are you a slut?"
"Why Sex Ed Weeks on campus make sense"
"It's Sex O'Clock, time for a weekend romp"
"No topic's taboo at this Philly Erotic Literary Salon"
"Best-selling sex toys for couples of all kinds"
"Pegging for the first time"
"When it comes to sex, don't tell me where to get pleasure"
"Saying thanks for the sex lessons over the years"
"How to talk dirty without sounding cheesy"
"Niche porn films face censorship fight in Britain"
"With personal lube, slippery when wet"
"Meet a happy 29-year-old virgin"
Mostly, what I've learned in the last 3 years as a full-time freelancer is that you never know what will happen, good or bad. Gigs magically arrive and are sometimes over before they even start. Sometimes the gig I'm excited about at first becomes arduous and next to impossible. I will be reading and following and trying to absorb by osmosis The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte so I can get my work life in line with what I want to be putting out into the world and what I'm good at. I will be focusing more on teaching erotica and sex writing in the new year, which is part of why I started my Erotica Writing Tip Tuesday posts. They're also, it should be clear, a reminder to me that I can do this writing thing, even when it's hard, even when I don't feel like I have a clear path, even amidst rejection.
All that is a way to preface one of the 3 giant career gifts I was given this year. I say "gifts" because that is how they each felt, even though they were gifts I've been working toward since leaving law school sans degree back in 1999. That is something that will forever hang over my head, but it was also a learning experience that taught me that even if you push yourself, sometimes a career path just isn't right, and something about this one is. Which is why when I woke up at CatalystCon in September to an email from the editor of Philadelphia City Paper asking me if I wanted to write a sex column for them, even though I'm actually a Jersey girl, felt like this wondrous gift. I've never had a steady weekly gig like this and sometimes that's a lot of pressure, but it also pushes me to seek out and find topics and events and people I wouldn't have otherwise. Another key difference aside from word count and timing from my Voice column is that I'm in a live-in monogamous going-on-three-years relationship. There's less to write about my own sex life than there was in my single days, and that's a good thing. I will probably always write about my life, but it will probably be more about me as a hoarder and a traveler and other aspects of me than just what I do in bed, though there are hints of it in the columns below, like when I prefer sex, what I wore for my first pegging, the joy of blowjobs and such.
I have no idea how long it will last, because you never do with these things, but my dream is to get to write a column a week for all of 2015, to stretch myself and grow and get sharper about writing to a relatively small word count, to showcase for myself and my readers about aspect of sex I/they hadn't thought of before. Bottom line: for however long this column lasts and my stint as a freelancer lasts, I will be grateful. I will also work harder to nurture and sustain my career so I can be the mashup writer/editor/teacher/speaker/blogger I am now.
So as the year wraps up with this final 2014 column, I wanted to say thank you to the paper, the universe and whatever other forces gave me this opportunity, and to highlight the columns I've written so far. In chronological order from the first one to this week's, here are my City Paper sex columns:
"Are you a slut?"
"Why Sex Ed Weeks on campus make sense"
"It's Sex O'Clock, time for a weekend romp"
"No topic's taboo at this Philly Erotic Literary Salon"
"Best-selling sex toys for couples of all kinds"
"Pegging for the first time"
"When it comes to sex, don't tell me where to get pleasure"
"Saying thanks for the sex lessons over the years"
"How to talk dirty without sounding cheesy"
"Niche porn films face censorship fight in Britain"
"With personal lube, slippery when wet"
"Meet a happy 29-year-old virgin"
My Christmas sex column is on a 29-year-old Catholic virgin who's critiquing purity culture
My last column of 2015 will be officially published in print on Christmas Day (as it is every Thursday) but arrived online two days early! In "Meet a happy 29-year-old virgin", I profile Chastity is For Lovers author Arleen Spenceley, whose book from Ave Maria Press I discovered thanks to the brilliance that is Netgalley. I'm so glad I did because her writing is smart, passionate, personal and thought-provoking. Do I agree with all of it? Well, read my column to find out, but you can probably guess. Do I want to keep writing columns like this that make me think and grapple and learn about a side of sexual culture I'd never considered before? A thousand times yes! My dream is to get to write this column every week of 2015. If you want to show Philadelphia City Paper that this is a good idea, please check it out, like it, pass it on, comment, tell me what else I should be writing about, etc. Thanks for reading!
Erotica Writing Tip Tuesday #1
I am trying to get myself back to regular blogging, and one thing I think will help is having some regular features. So every Tuesday I'm going to share something I've learned about erotica writing based on my writing for the past 15 years and editing for the past 10. I'll do my best to make them practical. Of course, this is my utterly subjective POV and you are welcome to take or ignore or vehemently disagree with my advice. These are things that have worked for me or things I've noticed from other people's work. They aren't all going to work for everyone, but if you're like me and often get stuck in coming up with plots or characters or figuring out what the next step is with your erotica, these may give you a little boost.
Want more advice? Sign up for my newsletter and/or take one of my online or in person writing classes.
#mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; } /* Add your own MailChimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */ Subscribe to my monthly mailing list for exclusive giveaways, sales and the latest news* indicates required Email Address * 1. Write about more than two people
Now, I don't mean that every time you write erotica there should be three or more people. Two people, or even one, are more than enough for good erotica. But I've found that after writing dozens of two person stories, sometimes I want to add a little more to the action; I want those "extra" characters to help drive the action. There are some major advantages for the writer of adding a person:
more drama - who is the third (or fourth/fifth/etc.) person? are there three or more single people joining forces, or a solo person joining a couple? If it's a solo person with a couple, whose POV is the story told from? How did they all get together? Was it spontaneous or very well planned?
more emotion, more POVs - whether they are polyamorous, swingers, first time threesome enjoyers, the emotional stakes are often higher. You can tell the story in first person, second or third, as always, but either way you go, there's more people to take into consideration. If it's a couples with person A and person B getting it on with person C, told from person A's point of view, A gets to observe B and C, interact with each and see how they interact with each other. Maybe person A thinks they know everything about B, but learns something new about them they'd never considered even after a long time together by watching them with C. I think here is where three or more people can truly add to the stakes of a story like this.
more physical description - you're adding at least two eyes, two hands, two nipples, two ears, etc. to the mix, so you have more room, plus if you've got, say, three people, there are so many more possible permutations to the physical action); voyeurism and exhibitionism - this is practically built into the story when there's more than two people, and can be played up to the hilt; teasing/talking about one of the characters to another - with two people, of course there are plenty of dirty talk opportunities, but with three or more, you can talk about someone right to their face, tease them by discussing them as an object, play up their helplessness or their power; two people can tag team dirty talk a third. There's really endless room for the kinds of conversations that may ring false with just two people.
your story stands out - unless you're writing for a specific menage or multiple partner market, if you make your characters polyamorous or swingers or simply solo sexy folks who get together in some fashion, you're making your piece stand apart from those writing about two people. This isn't some magic bullet that will get your piece published, but it is a way to possibly stand out and also could lead to future writings. In the above example, maybe your first story is from person A's POV, but a future story deals with that same couple but is from person B's POV.
To see an example from my writing, check out the excerpt of my sexy, sadistic dom with two subs (and a bonus one for the sake of the story) tale "Dual Mastery" at Tamsin Flowers' Superotica Avent Calendar. The story is from Best Bondage Erotica 2014 which you can read in print or ebook or listen to:
Amazon
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Now, I don't mean that every time you write erotica there should be three or more people. Two people, or even one, are more than enough for good erotica. But I've found that after writing dozens of two person stories, sometimes I want to add a little more to the action; I want those "extra" characters to help drive the action. There are some major advantages for the writer of adding a person:
more drama - who is the third (or fourth/fifth/etc.) person? are there three or more single people joining forces, or a solo person joining a couple? If it's a solo person with a couple, whose POV is the story told from? How did they all get together? Was it spontaneous or very well planned?
more emotion, more POVs - whether they are polyamorous, swingers, first time threesome enjoyers, the emotional stakes are often higher. You can tell the story in first person, second or third, as always, but either way you go, there's more people to take into consideration. If it's a couples with person A and person B getting it on with person C, told from person A's point of view, A gets to observe B and C, interact with each and see how they interact with each other. Maybe person A thinks they know everything about B, but learns something new about them they'd never considered even after a long time together by watching them with C. I think here is where three or more people can truly add to the stakes of a story like this.
more physical description - you're adding at least two eyes, two hands, two nipples, two ears, etc. to the mix, so you have more room, plus if you've got, say, three people, there are so many more possible permutations to the physical action); voyeurism and exhibitionism - this is practically built into the story when there's more than two people, and can be played up to the hilt; teasing/talking about one of the characters to another - with two people, of course there are plenty of dirty talk opportunities, but with three or more, you can talk about someone right to their face, tease them by discussing them as an object, play up their helplessness or their power; two people can tag team dirty talk a third. There's really endless room for the kinds of conversations that may ring false with just two people.
your story stands out - unless you're writing for a specific menage or multiple partner market, if you make your characters polyamorous or swingers or simply solo sexy folks who get together in some fashion, you're making your piece stand apart from those writing about two people. This isn't some magic bullet that will get your piece published, but it is a way to possibly stand out and also could lead to future writings. In the above example, maybe your first story is from person A's POV, but a future story deals with that same couple but is from person B's POV.
To see an example from my writing, check out the excerpt of my sexy, sadistic dom with two subs (and a bonus one for the sake of the story) tale "Dual Mastery" at Tamsin Flowers' Superotica Avent Calendar. The story is from Best Bondage Erotica 2014 which you can read in print or ebook or listen to:
Amazon
Amazon UK
Bn.com
Nook ebook edition
Books-a-Million
Powell's
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)
Audible audiobook (click through for a free sample listen)
Cleis Press
December 19, 2014
Waking up to awesome news: another LitReactor student sold a story
Nothing makes me happier as a writing teacher than hearing that my students found my classes helpful and used them to get their work out into the world, so I was thrilled to wake up to the news that my LitReactor student Ashton Peal sold (trans-)lesbian story "The Second First Time" to
Lizzie's Bedtime Stories Appetite Anthology
edited by Ily Goyanes. I have permission to share this from an email from Ashton Peal:
I am going to have even more Q&As and publisher information for my February-March LitReactor online erotica class, which starts February 12th. There's a detailed week by week breakdown on their site. It does require a bit of a time commitment as you'll be writing a story per week, with the option of reading and critiquing your fellow students' work, which I found an invaluable part of the process in terms of getting to see how different people approached the same topic and assignment. Registration is now open, and the class is limited to 16 people. The last one sold out, so if you are interested, please check out the information, let me know if you have any questions at rachelkb at gmail.com with "LitReactor" in the subject line. You can also read what LN Bey, who sold a story developed as a LitReactor erotica assignment to a Circlet Press anthology, said about my class.
Thanks so much again for the class. I didn't know if I could comfortably write erotica at all - much less for characters so very dissimilar from myself - but apparently so. It's definitely been an eye-opener and something I hope to keep on with.Now, I don't think publication is the only indicator of a writing's worth; I've had plenty of work rejected and as an editor have had to reject countless amazing stories for various reasons (space, overlapping topics, etc.). But it's both validation and motivation when it happens, and one thing I worked extremely hard on with my first LitReactor class was making it practical. I got the scoop from editors and publishers on exactly what they were looking for, and updated the calls for submission section of our private message board repeatedly, hoping to encourage students to submit. When I teach in person classes, I don't have followup so I never know if those students have turned their test runs into final drafts and submitted them. With my online classes, it's built into the program, and I'm so honored that it's encouraged people to get their work out there, which can be scary and daunting no matter how many times you do it.
I am going to have even more Q&As and publisher information for my February-March LitReactor online erotica class, which starts February 12th. There's a detailed week by week breakdown on their site. It does require a bit of a time commitment as you'll be writing a story per week, with the option of reading and critiquing your fellow students' work, which I found an invaluable part of the process in terms of getting to see how different people approached the same topic and assignment. Registration is now open, and the class is limited to 16 people. The last one sold out, so if you are interested, please check out the information, let me know if you have any questions at rachelkb at gmail.com with "LitReactor" in the subject line. You can also read what LN Bey, who sold a story developed as a LitReactor erotica assignment to a Circlet Press anthology, said about my class.
December 18, 2014
I love lube, and want to know your sex column topic wish list
For my sex column this week, I worked in a Bon Jovi reference like the good Jersey girl I am, gushed about lube and talked to some of my favorite sex toy bloggers. It's not an "edgy" out there topic, as is meant to be my focus, but one that is truly about the sex "toy" I use most often and something that I wish I'd known about earlier in life, so I hope you'll check it out.
I've been enjoying überlube since discovering it via Unbound Box but I welcome your lube suggestions, especially because my bottle is running out!
And now for the shameless part of this post...I'd love it if you'd share the column with others (especially anyone who might have a good topic for a future column). I truly hope to be writing 52 columns for Philadelphia City Paper in 2015, but for that to happen, people have to read it, and let them know. It's not the most fun position to be in to constantly have to tack on "and could you please Tweet and like this?" I feel like both a broken record and that annoying person always looking for validation, like when I was little and would ask, "I'm sorry, do you still like me?"
BUT, and of course there's a but, that's the reality of the modern writing world. This column literally fell into my lap one morning via email while I was at CatalystCon, and it's been a thrill, coming in conjunction with writing my very first book, to have a steady weekly change to spout off about sex. Like anything other writing opportunity, it's precarious; as I know from previous experience, one week you can be in, and one week you can be out. It's part of the joy of what I do as a freelancer that every day is different, but also what makes me often envious of my friends with full-time steady jobs and paychecks who don't have to rely on their significant other for health insurance. So I will keep on being that maybe slightly annoying pest, but with the goal of getting to explore as many topics as I and you can think of. I asked for sex column ideas on Twitter yesterday and got some great ones. Have an idea for me? Email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "City Paper" in the subject line. And if you already have, I am making my way through my column topics, even making a week by week list for next year. Speaking of which, the sex writing fairies were extra kind to me this year because I'll be starting another sex column in January, this one online only with a different audience in mind and different tone, so I'll have even more juicy aspects of getting it on to cover.
I've been enjoying überlube since discovering it via Unbound Box but I welcome your lube suggestions, especially because my bottle is running out!
And now for the shameless part of this post...I'd love it if you'd share the column with others (especially anyone who might have a good topic for a future column). I truly hope to be writing 52 columns for Philadelphia City Paper in 2015, but for that to happen, people have to read it, and let them know. It's not the most fun position to be in to constantly have to tack on "and could you please Tweet and like this?" I feel like both a broken record and that annoying person always looking for validation, like when I was little and would ask, "I'm sorry, do you still like me?"
BUT, and of course there's a but, that's the reality of the modern writing world. This column literally fell into my lap one morning via email while I was at CatalystCon, and it's been a thrill, coming in conjunction with writing my very first book, to have a steady weekly change to spout off about sex. Like anything other writing opportunity, it's precarious; as I know from previous experience, one week you can be in, and one week you can be out. It's part of the joy of what I do as a freelancer that every day is different, but also what makes me often envious of my friends with full-time steady jobs and paychecks who don't have to rely on their significant other for health insurance. So I will keep on being that maybe slightly annoying pest, but with the goal of getting to explore as many topics as I and you can think of. I asked for sex column ideas on Twitter yesterday and got some great ones. Have an idea for me? Email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "City Paper" in the subject line. And if you already have, I am making my way through my column topics, even making a week by week list for next year. Speaking of which, the sex writing fairies were extra kind to me this year because I'll be starting another sex column in January, this one online only with a different audience in mind and different tone, so I'll have even more juicy aspects of getting it on to cover.
