Tedder's Blog, page 6

Whispering doubt …

There comes a time in every believer’s life when the roar of the world and the whisper of doubt seem louder than the voice of God. You pray, but it feels like speaking into a void. You search for answers, but the heavens feel silent. And slowly, that silence breeds a quiet ache — Is He really there? Does He still speak to me?

This is not a sign that your faith is broken. This is the battlefield where faith is forged.

God’s voice isn’t always loud. More often, it’s a gentle nudge, a quiet knowing, a tug on the heart. But in a world that screams for our attention, we’ve forgotten how to listen. We expect God’s voice to come with thunder, but sometimes it comes in the stillness — when we lay down our demand for answers and open our hearts to His presence.

If you’re struggling to hear Him, start by asking yourself this: Am I making space for His voice?

Are you giving Him silence, or is your mind filled with noise? Are you coming to Him with honesty, or are you hiding your doubt behind polished prayers? God doesn’t need your performance. He wants your heart — raw, trembling, uncertain, but still reaching for Him.

Doubt, too, can be a holy thing when we bring it to Him. It’s in the wrestling, in the questions, that intimacy is forged. Jesus didn’t turn Thomas away for his doubt — He drew him close and invited him to touch His wounds. He didn’t scold him for needing more. He met him there, in the ache of uncertainty. He’ll do the same for you.

So how do you pray when you’re filled with doubt?

Pray honestly.
“Lord, I believe — help my unbelief.” God is not afraid of your questions or your weakness. He is a Father who bends low to hear His child, even when that child is angry, afraid, or unsure.

God’s voice is still speaking. He is still leading. And even in your doubt, He is still good. Keep seeking. Keep asking. Keep knocking. The door will be opened — He promised.

And He always keeps His promises.

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Mirror Mirror | PTSD & Chronic Pain

Moments of reflection — what better way to start a week.

Chronic physical pain has been with me since I was a child. I have also lived with severe PTSD. A childhood wrought with murder, confusion, and constant physical, emotional and sexual abuse left its course surging through my veins.

Chronic physical pain and PTSD can go hand-in-hand. 

Research suggests a connection between chronic pain and PTSD, but the prevalence of PTSD in people with chronic pain varies widely. For example, 15% to 35% of patients with chronic pain also have PTSD, while only 2% of people who do not have chronic pain have PTSD. The pain may serve as a reminder of the traumatic event, which can make the PTSD worse.

National Center for PTSD

Here’s an example. Last year I had a full hip replacement. I came out of surgery and my block wore off rather quickly. The pain was enormous. Fighting tears I was reminded that I could get out of that room with my mind — a skill I learned in childhood. When my little three-year-old body was being intensely damaged, I learned to leave my body. That skill served me well in that hospital room, too.

The problem — my PTSD-like symptoms returned. The ensuring days were tough.

Just because I use the word healed today doesn’t mean that all residual side-effects are gone.

If I didn’t have a great big God to cling to, I’d be taken over again and again by my past. Gumption, faith and determination simply are not enough.

I’m thankful for my relationship with a God who is close. One that I know will never walk out on me and shut the door. Rather, he curls up beside me and whispers, “I understand, Jodie. You’re safe now. I will never leave you or forsake you.”

And in his loving arms I’ll safely stay for eternity.

Jewels, Gems & Gunpowder

I would love to hear from you!

A Jewel: I hold no contempt for my family of origin. I do not feel they are beneath me, worthless or deserve scorn. Living by them in childhood I knew something even then — they were prisoners to desires they could not control. They were defeated by purposes I don’t believe they understood.

Devices against good blind you and you cannot see a way to safety.

I have learned to be sure of what I choose in life. That has taken me so many years. I had to shut the door to people who gave themselves over to bad choices time and time and relentless time again — those that had no outlook of good or positivity in their souls.

A Gem: I wish no harm to the people who harmed me. I can choose that and I do.

Metaphorical Gunpowder: God came to me when I was three. His love never left me in midst of great abuse and despair. His love is what I pursue. His love is what changes me. His grace is sufficient for all I need, all I’ve lived through, and whatever next steps I take.

Please comment below by leaving your jewel, a gem or something you keep yourself free from with metaphorical gunpowder.

All love!

Reclaiming the Radiance

Somewhere along the road, we were told that to matter, we had to harden. That softness was weakness. That to succeed, we had to compete like men, speak like men, perform like men. And in many ways, the world rewarded us when we did.

But something sacred was lost.

Womanhood is not a costume to put on or take off—it is a holy design, woven by the hands of God. It is not lesser than masculinity, nor is it required to mimic it. Femininity is its own strength: nurturing, intuitive, life-giving, fierce in its own right.

To reclaim your femininity is not to step back—it’s to come home. To return to the wisdom of your body, the gentleness of your spirit, and the fire that doesn’t shout but warms, protects, and transforms. You were made in His image—not in man’s shadow. God did not create woman as an afterthought. He called her essential.

It takes courage to be soft in a sharp world. It takes faith to be feminine in a culture that prizes control over connection. But the world is aching for what only women, rooted in their sacred design, can offer.

So come back. Not to what culture expects—but to what God has always known about you: that being a woman is not a role to play. It is a calling to embody.

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When Stillness Feels Dangerous

The Survivor’s Uneasy Truce with Peace

There is a quiet after the storm that does not feel like a gift. For those who’ve fought to survive abuse, peace isn’t the gentle balm the world promised. It is an ache, an absence, a hollow cave that echoes with the voice of your former fear.

You see, a man or woman forged in chaos becomes accustomed to alertness. Hyper-vigilance becomes your shield. The absence of conflict feels like exposure—not freedom. Like the wild heart of a warrior suddenly placed in a manicured garden, unsure what to do with hands that have only known how to brace for impact.

The soul, designed for battle and beauty, must learn again what it means to live—not just survive. You weren’t made to live on guard forever. You were made for the spacious freedom of the Father’s love, where peace doesn’t mean passivity—it means restoration.

So if peace feels foreign, it’s not because you’re broken. It’s because the war tried to rewrite your wiring. Let God rewild your heart. Let Him teach you that peace isn’t the silence before another strike—it’s the presence of Someone stronger than your past, holding you still.

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Why God?

In the intricate journey of life, the question of why God allows suffering remains a profound mystery. Childhood trauma, with its harrowing impact, often leaves individuals grappling with pain and searching for redemption. The human journey is marked by trials, including instances of profound pain & abuse that test the boundaries of faith and understanding.

Amidst the shadows of adversity, the resilience to overcome pain emerges as a beacon of hope. The process of healing from childhood trauma involves confronting the darkest corners of the soul, where redemption becomes a transformative force. God, in this narrative, may be seen as a guiding presence, offering solace to those navigating the complexities of their experiences.

The enigma of why bad things happen to people, even in the presence of a benevolent and loving God invites contemplation on the nature of free will and the intricate balance of existence.

Through the lens of overcoming pain and seeking redemption, somehow we find strength to rebuild shattered foundations, turning the pages of their stories toward healing and renewal.

How do you personally cope with these complex issues ? Leave a comment below.

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Words of Wisdom | Convicting the Guilty

Convict as a verb means to find or prove to be guilty. Usually this is in a court of law before a judge and jury. What if your case never makes if before a judge and jury? The lack of conviction is devastating in the life of victims. Most victims of childhood crimes rarely seek justice. When they do seek help from the court systems, many find no real answers, justice, or help.

“I also noticed that under the sun there is evil in the courtroom. Yes, even the courts of law are corrupt! I said to myself, “In due season God will judge everyone, both good and bad, for all their deeds.” 

Ecclesiastes 3:16

Since biblical times our courtrooms have been currupt. It’s just the truth.

We can still convict the guilty by using our words, telling our truth, and living in our stories.

Whoever says to the guilty, “You are innocent” —
peoples will curse him and nations denounce him.
But it will go well with those who convict the guilty,
and rich blessing will come upon them.”

Provers 24:24

Forgiveness and convicting are two separate things. Both should coexist. Convict the guilty. You could be saving the next child from abuse.

Recover & Restore

These words have been on repeat in my mind since the new year.

In the tapestry of a new year, the threads of healing and restoration are woven by the divine hands of God. In the echoes of childhood pain and abuse, a profound journey unfolds – one of resilience, courage, and faith.

But that haunting specter of the past, need not define our future. Through the unwavering strength that faith provides, we can overcome the scars etched by pain.

God, as the ultimate healer, offers solace to wounded hearts and brings light to the darkest corners of our experiences. It is a testament to the indomitable spirit within us that allows us to rise above adversity.

Embracing the new year with gratitude for God’s transformative power. Overcoming past abuse and childhood trauma, let’s journey towards healing and restoration together. May this year be a chapter of strength, resilience, and newfound joy. #NewBeginnings #Healing #Restoration #OvercomeWithFaith

Mirror Mirror ~ Come Out of the Woodwork

What better way to start a week but through introspection.

QUESTION: What if we all stood up together and insisted on justice, said we will accept nothing less than change, and the ability to tell our stories.

Given the prevalence of incest, and that the family is the basic unit upon which society rests, imagine what would happen if every kid currently being abused — and every adult who was abused but stayed silent — came out of the woodwork, insisted on justice, and saw that justice meted out. The very fabric of society would be torn.

The Atlantic

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

There are virtually millions of survivors. The holocaust victims have stood up and received much notice. The victims and their families of slavery in this country have been recognized over and over again.

What about the millions and millions of victims of childhood sexual crimes. Where is the outcry for them? I just don’t see it.

God, help us change this in our lifetime. Stand up, Father, and defend the fatherless, uphold the needy and heal the brokenhearted.

God sees you. Now YOU SEE YOU (#UCU)! Stop defending the abusers, stop silencing the pain, and tell your story.

Stop Avoiding Pain

It will hurt you more in the long run.

Avoidance based on fear will not protect you from experiencing pain but it will prevent you from growing and learning and deepening connections with yourself, others and even God.

We’ve been conditioned as a society to avoid pain. Physical and emotional pain are seen as bad and are to be avoided at all costs. We have all sorts of medications, devices, and distractions from our pain.

Getting hurt by people is hard. Getting hurt by what God allows can feel unbearable. While I might phrase my disillusionment as a question of why or how, when I lay my head on my tear-soaked pillow, questions can turn into bitter feelings (and have).

Since trust in relationships is built in part with good communication, then more effectively praying has to play a role in my trust with God – that has been a new one for me. Up until now, with prayer, I’ve expected too little of God and too much of myself. I’ve expected an infinite God to reduce His vast ways of doing things down to only what I can think up and pray for.

Yes, people may create chaos that’s not from God. And yes, the brokenness of this world may bring brokenness to my reality. But in the midst of this, there is good provision from God! That’s what I must look for and make the choice to see.

Pain is unavoidable, and your attempt at squashing it just creates a pressure cooker inside yourself. Instead of waiting for the inevitable explosion, release a little bit at a time by connecting with your pain and allowing those feelings to surface. You may feel like you’re going to die, but I promise you won’t. Over time you’ll be able to take bigger emotional risks, opening you up to a kind of happiness and fulfillment you never thought existed.

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