Tedder's Blog, page 27
June 7, 2023
Are You At Peace With Yourself ?
For a long time, I sought peace outside of myself. I looked everywhere a person could seek. High, low and everywhere in between.
Turns out, I didn’t look high enough – God was above all of the highest ideals I sought. Above everything I valued most. I didn’t look there and I didn’t look inside myself.
The truth is that peace exists within us at all times. It is at the core of our own true nature. How God made us. So, being at peace with ourselves means being at peace with God and vice versa.
That state of deep peace can’t be gotten through the external world. Its not achieved through acquiring possessions or positions, or even the love of other people.
B 
June 6, 2023
Keep Following that Path
“Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.” ~Unknown
If rock bottom was a destination, the heartbreak of my childhood had sent me there. Not only was I left mourning the loss of my innocence, but I was living with the fact that I could never truly retrieve it. I’d have to go on, some broken-down version of me anyway.
And that’s how it felt for a long time – just limping along. Surviving.
Eventually, I sought healing. And then forgiveness. After that, I really shifted my focus away from my abuser entirely and tried to turn my life toward gratitude – from the profane to the mundane.
Taking the time to recognize all the little blessings each day offered completely changed my outlook.
If you feel you are struggling to find gratitude in your life, place your hand over your heart. Can you feel its beat? That alone is the most powerful gift you can be grateful for.
I still have moments where I break down, cry, and feel as though I’ve been swallowed in a sea of sadness, anxiety, and stress.
Nevertheless, I have learned to be watchful when these moments start to overwhelm me.
I embrace and grow through each thought or feeling while it is with me, knowing it shall eventually pass.
B
June 5, 2023
Mirror Mirror ~ Prayer of Jabez
Introspection — what better way to start a week.
Question – Have you ever asked God to end your pain and suffering?
10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.
I Chronicles 4:10 (NIV)
The name Jabez means “he causes pain,” so it is assumed that something about his birth was exceptionally more painful than the usual birth – either physically or emotionally. In Bible times, a name was very important. A name often defined a person’s future – what they would become. So perhaps Jabez’s mother was predicting her baby’s future.
Jabez defied his hopeless name and dysfunctional beginning to become a man who believed fervently in the power of God. He prayed with urgency and vulnerability. He cried out to the Lord with boldness!
Have you cried out to the Lord with boldness? Ask him!
June 2, 2023
Hope: overused or undervalued ?
Real hope doesn’t show up without real fear. Most of the time, hope is scary.
But the old saying is true, hope is the only thing stronger than fear.
Hope and fear are playing in a constant game of tug-of-war. And all of us live somewhere on the rope. It’s tempting to think that the closer we get to the hope side, the less we’ll be afraid.
But everyone knows that when one side starts to win in tug-of-war, the other side just pulls harder. For those of us willing to see, life is never just one thing.
Ongoing childhood abuse is an act of betrayal, and in many cases, children are threatened not to tell anyone about what is happening. Living in an abusive home is often a hopeless, joyless existence…So finding hope after can feel like an extremely daunting task.
I you think about it, hope is fear’s antithesis. In a way, hope is the reality we wish to see in the future, and fear is its shadow.
Fear simply represents what could go wrong. Our inability to see—let alone control—our futures makes us anxious that the shadow will overtake the well-lit dream.
The difficult part is overcoming that shadow with courage and hope. It’s something I struggle with everyday. It’s something with which we all struggle.
Fear is the prompt. Hope is the way. Fear is about trying to survive something. Hope is about knowing why you want to.
B
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F N’ F (Fear Not Friday)
On the discussion of fear — Do you fear failure?
I certainly do.
When I was a kid I didn’t dream much — at all. I didn’t have time to dream. I merely survived. Today, I actually live, makes mistakes, and dream. Dreaming of what might be brings a risk that I might fail. If I stay put and don’t try anything new, I most likely won’t fail. I’ll be stagnate but maybe that’s better than failing?
Is it really better?
What is failing really? Doesn’t it mean that I first had to try? If I tried, is it really a failure?
Failure is the lack of success or the omission of an expected action. Maybe that’s not so bad. Failing certainly means I did try.
Do you fear failing?
If at first you don’t succeed, try try again!
June 1, 2023
A Rush to Evil
Why don’t we talk more about incest in our socieites at large? The trauma is lifelong and threatens lives daily. Every nine minutes a child is abused in the US, and this is a global problem.
Shame is discussed at great length around the world. Brene Brown is best known for her TedTalks on the subject. But, incest is the sexual abuse not talked about.
We should be talking about it because it can be a fatal wound.
This crime starts in very young children most of the time. They are groomed early and often. This ensures that they won’t be sharing their story with anyone and allows the abuse to continue for years. The crime of incest is not usually a one time occurence but happens over and over and over.
The numbers are always underreported but they come in with about 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 7 boys. Where are all these survivors? That’s millions of unheard voices — untold stories — broken lives.
Why aren’t we doing more specifically with cases of incest? These are some of the most heinious crimes and yet law enforcement, court systems, prosecutors — they all shy away from these cases. They hate them. They are hard to prove. Everyone involved is volitile. Who is the liar? Who is telling the truth?
The deepest issue is that the prepetrator in these cases are also the protector of these children — their providers. That creates confusion for those listening. We need to train society at large to protect these innocent babies. To protect the grown person carrying the trauma in their bones.
I am here. I am still standing. I will use my last breath to bring understanding to all victims and to the world at large.
We need to be doing more. Period!
