Stephanie Tyler's Blog, page 4

Pt 2 – Manspeak & Dolphin squeaks

Picture it – a kitchen on New Year’s Eve.

Me:  We’re eligible for a phone upgrade tomorrow – we can get our iPhones!

Zoo:  I don’t think I am.

Me:  We got our phones the same day.  Same account.

Zoo:  Oh.  Okay.

Me:  So I can either order them from Sprint and they’ll take a few days to come or you can stop in a Sprint store in the city and grab them.

Zoo:  Okay.  Why don’t you have them sent.

Me:  Sure.  You’re not near any Sprint stores?

Zoo:  (without a hint of irony and / or recognition)  Well, there’s a Sprint store in my building.

Me:

Zoo:  You want me to get them?

Me:

Zoo:  So I’ll get them.

Me:

©2013 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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Cover love – Dire Desires!

So, what do we think of Jinx?!  [image error]

 

 

DIRE DESIRES: A Novel of the Eternal Wolf Clan (Coming July 2013)

Jinx is a Dire wolf without a pack. Kicked out of the house by his king, and living with a vampire named Jez, Jinx has been trying to undo the damage he unintentionally caused during the reign of the Dire ghost army, which unleashed some of Purgatory’s worst monsters on the world at large. But when he hears that an unshifted Were is being held in a psychiatric hospital, he immediately drops everything to help her.

Gillian Black has no idea what’s happening to her—and Jinx discovers that she’s not just any Were, but a Dire wolf from the original Green- land pack. He helps her escape and promises to keep her safe from the men—and the wolves—who are hunting her and to teach her everything about being a wolf.

He must also fight his feelings, wanting to claim her as his mate…at least until after he defeats the supernatural enemies that threaten all of them.

 

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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my loving family…

Mom:  I’m leaving now.  And there’s water on the floor – be careful because someone could slip.

Me:  Someone, or you?

Mom:  Well, I could easily slip on this.

Zoo:  And then you’d sue us.

Mom:  (on her way out the door)  Parents sue their kids all the time…

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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manspeak & dolphin squeaks

So, remember this post?  Well, yesterday early morning (like 5AM early) Zoo says, “you know how we’re always like, I hope the boiler lasts?  It’s leaking.”

Me:  The boiler’s broken?

Zoo:  Right, the hot water heater.

Me:  *stares and wonders how that’s the same thing*  So it’s not the boiler?

Zoo:  No.  But it’s flooding in the basement a little.  Keep an eye on it.

Me:  *spending all day mopping up constant flood of water in said basement*

Cut to…

Plumber (later on that evening after replacing the water heater):  I know you said the boiler’s also doing something weird, but I didn’t hear any rattling.

Me:  It was doing it this afternoon.  And then, when I put the heat to 68 in another zone, this zone goes to 74.  And it’s the same zone that’s rattling.

Plumber:  Well, it’s this radiator that’s close to the thermostat that’s making that heat go up.

Me:  *trying to be logical* It’s been there for 6 years and that’s never happened.

Plumber:  *shrugs*

*Chinese food comes.  We have hot water.  No one cares*

Cut to…6AM this morning

Zoo:  Guess what’s leaking.

Me:  Hot water heater?

Zoo:  The boiler.

Me:  The boiler boiler?

Zoo: Yup. And there was this awful rattling sound…

Plumber:  I should’ve just slept here.  You need a new valve – it’s a 40 year old piece.  Oh, and there’s also this rattling in the boiler.  It’s because the zone pipe is corrupted.  That happens.  It happens because the water gets too hot…

Me:  And makes the heat go up ridiculously high.

Plumber:  Right.

Me:  It’s like, half the time when I speak, it’s dolphin sqeaks.

Plumber: *ignores me* These things happen in threes.

Me:  Thanks, Angel of Death, part 2 (because part 1 is my mother) – and this is the third thing.  Remember the giant leak in the tub upstairs two weeks ago that means we have to rip out the entire bathroom?

Plumber:  Oh, right.  Zoo yelled at me when I gave him the price for redoing the bathroom. *turns as he’s halfway out the door*  I’ve never seen a boiler pipe explode but check on it every couple of hours and call me if it happens.  Otherwise, I’ll be back later.

Me:

Because there are no words

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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SEAL of My DREAMS – $1.99 on Amazon Kindle!!!

Hey guys, can you please pass along on your blogs, Facebooks and Twitter that SEAL of My DREAMS, the charity anthology that benefits Veterans research, is only $1.99 on Amazon Kindle today!  It was chosen by Amazon to be past of their special promotion. 100% of the monies raised goes to charity.

We’ve raised $130,000 so far – and I’m hoping that number will see a nice big spike after today!!!  If you’ve already got a copy, maybe think about gifting someone?!  :)

 

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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Steph & Zoo’s Thanksgiving Morning Conversation

Me:  (standing in the living room)  Has the boiler always been this loud?

Zoo:  Yes.  Because you’re standing right above it.

Me:  I’ve never heard it this loud.  (goes to basement, opens door and hears weird click clack noise.)  I’ve never heard that noise before.

Zoo:  I’ve heard it – it’s running three zones at once.

Me:  One zone is running.  One.  You’ve really heard this noise before?  Because, like 13 years here and I’ve never heard it.

Zoo:  I’ve heard it before.

Me:  Before this morning?

Zoo:  No.

 

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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writing romance is the smartest thing I’ve ever done

Those of you who’ve been around the blogosphere long enough know that I totally lost my shit over something similar to what I’m about to blog about. And I promised I never would again. And I haven’t.

Until now.

I guess there are certain things I can’t sit down and let pass by. And I’m seeing people saying, what a great article, and thinking, wtf – am I reading something completely different because I see nothing great about it.

I get that the author tried to layer it like, here were the misconceptions, here’s what happened and now I realize that all writers are awesome. But it didn’t work for me at all.

You know, why? Because the article starts out, “I’m pretty sure I used to sit at the smart table.”

Where do you sit now? Were you voted out because you write romance? I honestly don’t see that clarified anywhere in the article. And why did she used to sit there – because she has degrees? Because she read literary novels?

At the end, she realizes that she doesn’t have to worry about the fact that she writes fun novels because some romance writers went to college, and that in general, writers are writers no matter the genre! Awesome! Another way to justify writing romance! Does this mean there IS no smart table? How could you ever have sat at a table that didn’t exist?

So that’s how it came off to me. And it’s like, you’re a goddamned WRITER for Christsakes. Words are your living. If it came off that way, I’m betting that’s how you intended it to come off. So if you didn’t realize that saying things like, “I’m pretty sure I used to sit at the smart table,” implies that, now that you’re writing “fun” books (I guess that’s a new euphemism for Romance – let’s all look in the FUN section) you’re no longer at the smart table, then why should I, would I, buy your books? I want to read smart books by smart women, no matter the seating chart.

And let me clarify – romance novels can be ‘fun’ and they all have happy ever afters. But love is just about one of the most difficult and rewarding things in the world, both in real life and on paper. There’s nothing easy about it.

It’s one thing to admit you used to be a literary snob and now realize that you were missing out on the breadth and depth of a genre that’s been around for as long as a lot of those dead white males I studied in school. But saying things like, “I now know they’re (romance novels) great books in their own way,” isn’t helping me understand your situation. What does that mean, in their own way? Are all books great books in their own way or is romance a special snowflake?

That’s the problem with being embarrassed about what you do for a living – it always comes through, no matter how hard you try to hide it. This whole things reads like an apology of, I’m smart, but I write romance despite that!

Oh, but wait, I forgot, you don’t sit at the smart table anymore…

 

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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DIRE WANTS release day!!! (UPDATED)

**SEE BELOW IN BOLD***

Stray’s here  DIRE WANTS is book 2 in the Eternal Wolf Clan series and there’s so much I love about this book!  There’s lots of romance, lots of Vice…and Cain, who’s become a favorite.  ****Guys, my daughter’s having emergency surgery in the next day or two – it’s an emergent situation with the rods in her back.  I just wanted to update you about the ebook links – I have no fucking idea why they weren’t put up long before this.  But now, with the hurricane, everything’s a problem, which, of course, I understand.  So they should be up, but they’re not and I’m not going to pretend everything’s great, because it’s a major fuck-up in my eyes and it’s not my fuck-up.  And I can’t get an eta as to when they’ll be up.  I apologize and will let you know as soon as I know anything.  I’m pissed and frustrated as hell.  But my first concern at this point is with my kid.  I know you guys understand***

The supernatural world is rising up against the human one. The weretrappers want control, and only the immortal Dire wolves stand in the way of total destruction. Stray, a Dire, and his long-lost brother, Killian, emerge as the leaders of their pack. To keep themselves and the humans safe, the Dires need a witch as powerful as Seb, who betrayed the Dires to work for the weretrappers.

They find what they are looking for in Kate, a human who survived a horrible car accident that left her back scarred with a handprint no one else can see. Stray senses Kate’s abilities as a witch and recruits her to help the Dires — all the while knowing she is so powerful they will need to kill her once she helps defeat the weretrappers.

Stray doesn’t expect the powerful connection that he feels with Kate, or his irresistible need to protect her. They cannot hide their feelings for each other, and what once was taboo now seems inevitable…

You can find order info here – you can also find excerpts and soundtracks!

 

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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Surrender: A Section 8 Novel – cover reveal!!!

So, what do we think?  Cause I LOVE!!!

SURRENDER:  A Section 8 Novel (release date:  April 2, 2013)

DESPERATE, FEARLESS, AND HUNTED  [image error]

For former Navy SEAL Dare O’Rourke, Section 8 was legendary. The son of one of its missing members, he grew up in the shadow of its secrets. All he knew was that it was a cabal of operatives discharged from branches of the military and reassigned to extremely dangerous, off- the-books international missions. And that their handler was as shrouded in mystery as the missions themselves.

NOTHING CAN STOP THEM. NOTHING CAN BREAK THEM.

Now the handler of Section 8 has given orders to kill any remaining members, along with their families. Dare must save his long-lost half sister, Avery, whom he was never meant to meet. Determined to fight for their lives and find their missing father, Dare and Avery bring together for one last mission those who are in danger because of their relationship to Section 8—to avenge their families and to survive.

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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can I get paid to blog Real Housewives shows?

I’m thinking it would be so much fun (and probably easier) to blog the reality television shows I watch, especially the Real Housewives ones.  I mean, I’ve learned so much, like:

If you eat a bow off someone’s spectacularly expensive cake, you should a) blame low blood sugar and then b) use the expression, is this the kind of world we live in when someone tries to throw you out of said party after eating said bow off the expensive cake.

Is this the kind of world we live in is now my new favorite line.

Is this the kind of world we live in?

I have lots of unanswered questions too, like did Jim from the OC really get a chin implant?

Was Briana pregnant when she said she wasn’t?

Did I ever hang out with Heather in high school, since she grew up near me?

Can I have Carole Radziwell’s writing?  Or at least her floating staircase?  (see Bravo video here)

Why is Sonya all Grey Gardens?  Why do I still love her?  Can I have a Milsaps of my very own?

Why does Heather pronounce Hummus as HO-Mas?

I would like Jacques to visit me.

If my editors are reading this, please note that of course, there are no Bravo TV shows watched until all writing is completed.

Again, I ask, Is this the kind of world we live in?  Or I will when you invite me to your house and I eat a hunk of cake before it’s served and then you kick me out…

 

©2012 Stephanie Tyler's Weblog. All Rights Reserved.

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