Leslie Glass's Blog, page 409

5 Ways To Avoid A Holiday Relapse

Holidays in general are time for joy and celebration with your loved ones. However, if you are in recovery, holiday times may be a trigger for those recovering from substance or alcohol abuse. With Christmas around the corner and New Year fast approaching right behind it, many in recovery MUST have a plan in place to avoid relapsing back into old behaviors and habits. Here are 5 ways to avoid a holiday relapse.

1. Prepare Ahead Of Time

Prepare a recovery kit before joining your family’s festivities. Have your sponsor on a speed dial and alert him or her that you might be calling for help during a family gathering. Have your reading materials easily accessed and have a meeting online on your tablet ready to login.

2. Map Out Meeting Near Your Travel Destination

A meeting will allow you to escape the same old situations and broken dynamics that used to hold you hostage.  Just tell them, “I’m going to a meeting and will be back later.” Then walk out. Don’t wait for a response.

3. Arrive Early. Leave Early.

Most often drugs and alcohol use at any party become more prevalent as the party wears on. Do not worry that by leaving early you will offend the host. In most cases they will not notice your absence.

4. BYOB

Bring your own beverage.  You will now have control over what you drink. Also, do not justify or explain your healthy new behavior.  This invites push back and criticism.

5. Plan B

Always have a plan B.  If you feel uncomfortable, or feel the pressure to use, ask a friend to text you and excuse yourself from the gathering. It is not the host’s responsibility to keep you sober or provide a trigger-free atmosphere. The responsibility lies on your shoulders.

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Triangulation Fuels Family Drama

My family insists on bringing all cases to “Judge Grace.” This time, they wanted my ruling on whether my 35 year-old brother Ricky should move back home. Here’s what I decided.

I Set A Bad Precedent

For years, I settled all family arguments. Smaller cases went like this: My dad had the day off, but he didn’t wash the dishes. My mom was furious. She punished him with silence and called me to vent. I handled that case by calling my Dad to smooth things over. He then complained about her. I agreed because she treats me the same way. I cheered Dad up by reminding him of what he does well. Then I made excuses for Mom, “She’s just on edge because of that thing at work.” When we hung up, he felt better. I felt like a traitor.

My Family Still Wants To Hear From Judge Grace

My Dad called me this weekend to tell me my Mom wants Ricky to move in with them. My Dad gave me a list of why it was a bad idea. I agreed. Silently. During the conversation, I paid close attention to how I was feeling. I asked myself, “Was his sharing making me feel uncomfortable?” When it was my turn to speak, I simply said, “She has a sickness.” My Mom suffers from co-dependency. She knows I feel this way about her relationship with Ricky.

My Mom called on Tuesday to tell me Ricky’s news. Again, I listened as long as I was able to. When she paused for me to talk, I said nothing. She didn’t ask for my opinion, so I didn’t give it.  In the past, their wanting my opinion made me feel important, so I kept playing a part in the dysfunction. Now I see my opinion isn’t important to them. None of them asked for it! They just want someone to take their side. I don’t have a side. Nothing in this scenario is any of my business. Ricky isn’t wanting to move in with me and I don’t live there.

Triangulation And Addiction

Triangulation is common in families with addiction. Murray Bowen, an pioneer in American family therapy theorized,

In a dysfunctional family in which there is alcoholism present, the non-drinking parent will go to a child and express dissatisfaction with the drinking parent. This includes the child in the discussion of how to solve the problem of the afflicted parent. Sometimes the child can engage in the relationship with the parent, filling the role of the third party, and thereby being “triangulated” into the relationship. Or, the child may then go to the alcoholic parent, relaying what they were told. In instances when this occurs, the child may be forced into a role of a “surrogate spouse” The reason that this occurs is that both parties are dysfunctional. In a triangular family relationship, the two who have aligned risk forming an enmeshed relationship.

I Set Some Hard Boundaries

After about six months of recovery, I began to see how settling their arguments hurt me. I had to be brave and tell them all “No.” I started with my Mom because I was the least afraid of her. The first time I told her I didn’t want to hear anything bad about my Dad, she quickly obliged. Unfortunately, a few days later, she tested my boundary. I reminded her I would no longer listen to negative comments. Telling her “No” gave me the courage to next tell Ricky “No.” After I stood up to Ricky, then I told my Dad. It’s still hard to say “No,” but it’s getting easier.

For a year after that, I quit listening to their stories. I learned to space phone calls out over several days. I called only when I had important news. I quit asking how Ricky or my Dad was. Taking myself out of their arguments has been one of the healthiest things I’ve done.

Looking for a professional to settle your family’s drama? Visit Recovery Guidance to find resources near you.

 

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Say What You Need To Say

Nike has the slogan Just Do It … and life, in my opinion, should have the slogan Just Say It. Communicate. Speak the truth.

On my wedding day, when I promised “till death do us part,” I spoke my truth. I held on to these vows with tenacity through all of marriage’s ups and downs until I learned of my husband’s infidelity. In facing my feelings of betrayal, anger and loss, I struggled with breaking my vows.

My husband had already chosen for himself and did not want to stay married; but I hung in there. I thought I needed to keep my word, even if he hadn’t. Integrity was everything to me. I realized after some time (and a wonderful counselor) that keeping my word was more important to me than staying married. Instead of honoring my dignity, I chose to honor my word instead.

For the remainder of my dying marriage, I kept my vows by keeping open communication. It took about six months for the marriage to come to an amicable completion and another five years before I really knew I had forgiven him.

The Gift Of Speaking The Truth

Several years later, my Ex reached out with a text that read, “Next time you’re in town I’d like to meet for coffee. I have something to tell you.” We met at a coffee shop and after the usual catch-up and chatter about nothing, he said, “I’m so sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t deserve that.” He said it. Out loud. To me. The words I would have given my left arm to hear in the middle of it, I had finally heard five years later. Those words brought tremendous peace and closure to what had happened between us and I was so grateful that he was able to just say it.

The Great Cost Of Not Speaking The Truth

John Mayer’s song, “Say what you need to say” is featured in the 2007 movie, The Bucket List. The movie followed the lives of two men who had each been given a grim health prognosis and how they chose to spend their time following the news. One of the men stopped himself from saying I’m sorry and I love you by staying out of communication with his estranged daughter. He missed out on much love and never got to meet his granddaughter.

Why Wait?

Try it for yourself. Is there a relationship you are keeping yourself out of because you are walking on the proverbial eggshells about something you need to say that you’re not saying? Would you have to give up being right, justified, angry, hurt or vulnerable in order to get in communication? What would it take for you to just say it?

“You better know that in the end it’s better to say too much then never say what you need to say again” – Say, John Mayer

If you need help with relationships, addition, or mental health, visit Recovery Guidance. It’s a free resource to find professionals near you.

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Marijuana risk for testicular cancer and impotence

Since marijuana contains many of the same compounds as tobacco, it has the same adverse effects on the respiratory system when smoked as tobacco. These include chronic cough, respiratory infections, and bronchitis.18 In the longer term emphysema and lung cancer are also among its effects.21In fact, smoking marijuana is more harmful than tobacco for two reasons: first, because it contains more tar and carcinogens than tobacco, and secondly, because marijuana smokers tend to inhale more deeply and for a longer period of time as compared to tobacco smokers.

Marijuana use also has a variety of adverse, short- and long-term effects, especially on the cardiopulmonary system. Marijuana raises the heart rate by 20-100 percent shortly after smoking; this effect can last up to three hours. In one study, it was estimated that marijuana users had a 4.8-fold increase in the risk of heart attack in the first hour after smoking the drug. This elevated risk may be due to increased heart rate as well as the effects of marijuana on heart rhythms, causing palpitations and arrhythmias. This risk may be greater in older individuals or in those with cardiac vulnerabilities. Marijuana use has been found to increase blood pressure and heart rate and to decrease the oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood.39

Chronic smoking of marijuana and its active chemical THC has consistently been shown to increase the risk of developing testicular cancer, in particular a more aggressive form of the disease. One study compared 369 Seattle-area men aged 18-44 with testicular cancer, to 979 men in the same age bracket without the disease. The researchers found that current marijuana users were 1.7 times more likely to develop testicular cancer than nonusers, and that the younger the age of initiation (below 18) and the heavier the use, the greater the risk of developing testicular cancer.40,41,42

A similar study of 455 men in Los Angeles found that men with testicular germ cell tumors were twice as likely to have used marijuana as men without these tumors.43

THC can also cause endocrine disruption resulting in gynecomastia, decreased sperm count, and impotence.44

From the American College of Pediatricians

The American College of Pediatricians is a national medical association of licensed physicians and healthcare professionals who specialize in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. The mission of the College is to enable all children to reach their optimal physical and emotional health and well-being.

A PDF copy of this statement is available here: Marijuana Use: Detrimental to Youth

For more information, visit The Health Effects of Marijuana Use page on this website.

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Co-Dependent’s Family Secret Cookie Recipe

In 2015, I entered recovery for my co-dependency. So, if I’m co-dependent whose drinking hurt me? Who’s secret am I keeping and why?

A Co-Dependent Needs A Dependent

Historically, the idea of co-dependence comes directly from Alcoholics Anonymous. The term acknowledges that the problem of alcohol misuse affects the person who drinks AND the family and friends who constitute a network for the individual.

The cornerstone of many recovery groups is anonymity, but there is a movement to break the stigma of mental health and addiction. How can help I break the stigma and still protect my family secrets?

Signs Of Co-dependency

Protecting people and worrying about other people’s opinions are symptoms of co-dependency. People-pleasing and needing to be perfect are also common characteristics of co-dependents. I don’t need to worry about what other people think of me or my family. Nor do I have to be perfect to find acceptance in this world. In recovery, I learn to focus on my behaviors, and changing my behaviors will keep me busy for a while.

Recovery is a renewing of my mind. Many of my past secrets festered into problems because I had no healthy tools to process tough topics. I didn’t have boundaries, and I didn’t know where my responsibilities ended and others began. I share my past secrets with my friends in recovery because they teach me how to untangle myself from co-dependent relationships.

Sharing The Right Secret

Today, I am committed to keeping my family’s secrets. It doesn’t really matter who hurt who or why I go to meetings. I speak out about how miserable my life was before recovery to share the good news of improved mental health. I don’t have to justify my journey even when I am tempted to do so.

I will, however, share one closely guarded family secret, my Grandma Davis’s Sugar Cookie recipe.  This recipe defines us. It also reminds me that some sweet memories co-existed with a sometimes painful past.

Grandma Davis’s Sugar Cookie Recipe 

(Probably brought over from the old country – Paula Deen has used it, too. But we had it first)

Ingredients

1 cup butter – real butter not margarine
1 ¾ cup powdered sugar – the first of many “secret” ingredients. Most inferior sugar cookies use white sugar.
1 egg
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 ½ cups flour
1 teaspoon vanilla
Secret Ingredient
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
Super-Secret Ingredient
½ teaspoon almond flavoring – seriously, if you share this recipe with anyone – leave this ingredient out!

Directions 

Put butter into a large mixing bowl and blend with mixer on medium until smooth. Slowly add powdered sugar and mix on low or your kitchen will be covered in dust, so I’ve heard. Next add the egg, baking soda, cream of tartar and flavorings. (Wink. Wink.) Finally add flour.  Mix until smooth.

Let this dough chill in the refrigerator for 2-3 hours. Since I come from a long-line of people-pleasers, I roll out the dough and cut into holiday shapes. Bake the cookies at 375 degrees for 7-8 minutes, and then spend hours decorating them. 

One last tip, if you share this recipe with anyone, tell them to set their oven to 350 and bake for 10 minutes. I’ve got to keep some of my family’s secrets safe.

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Marijuana’s Effect On the Teen Brain

The main active chemical in marijuana is delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). When marijuana is smoked, THC rapidly passes from the lungs into the bloodstream, which carries the chemical to the brain and other organs throughout the body. It is absorbed more slowly when ingested in food or drink.13 In all cases, however, THC acts upon specific molecular targets on brain cells, called cannabinoid receptors. These receptors are ordinarily activated by chemicals similar to THC called endocannabinoids, such as anandamide. These receptors are naturally occurring in the body and are part of a neural communication network (the endocannabinoid system) that plays an important role in normal brain development and function. The highest density of cannabinoid receptors is found in parts of the brain that influence pleasure, memory, thinking, concentration, sensory and time perception, and coordinated movement. Marijuana over activates the endocannabinoid system, causing the high and other effects that users experience. These effects include distorted perceptions, psychotic symptoms, difficulty with thinking and problem solving, disrupted learning and memory, and impaired reaction time, attention span, judgment, balance and coordination.20

Chronic exposure to THC may also hasten the age-related loss of nerve cells.21 Numerous mechanisms have been postulated to link cannabis use, attentional deficits, psychotic symptoms, and neural desynchronization.22 The hippocampus, a component of the brain’s limbic system, is necessary for memory, learning, and integrating sensory experiences with emotions and motivations. THC suppresses neurons in the information-processing system of the hippocampus, thus learned behaviors, dependent on the hippocampus, also deteriorate.23

Brain MRI studies now report that in young recreational marijuana users, structural abnormalities in gray matter density, volume, and shape occur in areas of the brain associated with drug craving and dependence. There also was significant abnormality measures associated with increasing drug use behavior. In addition to the regions of the nucleus accumbens and amygdala, the whole-brain gray matter density analysis revealed other brain regions that showed reduced density in marijuana users compared with control participants, including several regions in the prefrontal cortex: right/left frontal pole, right dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, and right middle frontal gyrus (although another small region in the right middle frontal gyrus showed higher gray matter density in marijuana users). Countless studies have also shown that prefrontal cortex dysfunction is involved with decision-making abnormalities and functional MRI and magnetic resonance spectroscopy studies have shown that cannabis use may affect the function of this region.24 Brain imaging with MRI was used to map areas of working memory in the brain and showed similar findings in normal and schizophrenic subjects who did not use marijuana, but decreases in the size of the working memory areas of the striatum and thalamus for those who had a history of cannabis use, that was more marked in those who used marijuana at a younger age and in users with schizophrenia.25

In chronic adolescent users, marijuana’s adverse impact on learning and memory persists long after the acute effects of the drug wear off. A major study published in 2012 in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences provides objective evidence that marijuana is harmful to the adolescent brain. As part of this large-scale study of health and development, researchers in New Zealand administered IQ tests to over 1,000 individuals at age 13 (born in 1972 and 1973) and assessed their patterns of cannabis use at several points as they aged. Participants were again IQ tested at age 38, and their two scores were compared as a function of their marijuana use. The results were striking: Participants who used cannabis heavily in their teens and continued through adulthood showed a significant drop in IQ between the ages of 13 and 38—an average of eight points for those who met criteria for cannabis dependence. Those who started using marijuana regularly or heavily after age 18 showed minor declines. By comparison, those who never used marijuana showed no declines in IQ.26 This is the first prospective study to test young

people before their first use of marijuana and again after long-term use (as much as 20+ years later) thereby ruling out a pre-existing difference in IQ. This means the finding of a significant mental decline among those who used marijuana heavily before age 18, even after they quit taking the drug, is consistent with the theory that drug use during adolescence—when the brain is still rewiring, pruning, and organizing itself—has long-lasting negative effects on the brain.

Other studies have also shown a link between prolonged marijuana use and cognitive or neural impairment. A recent report in Brain, for example, reveals neural-connectivity impairment in some brain regions following prolonged cannabis use initiated in adolescence or young adulthood.27

Another longitudinal study followed 3385 patients who were between 18 and 30 years of age in 1985 for over 25 years.  Cognitive function was assessed at the end of the study and included tests of verbal memory, processing speed, and executive functioning.  84.3% of the population reported past marijuana use, but only 11.6% continued using marijuana during middle age.  For each five years of past marijuana use, verbal memory decreased significantly.28

From The American College of Pediatricians

The American College of Pediatricians is a national medical association of licensed physicians and healthcare professionals who specialize in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. The mission of the College is to enable all children to reach their optimal physical and emotional health and well-being.

A PDF copy of this statement is available here: Marijuana Use: Detrimental to Youth

For more information, visit The Health Effects of Marijuana Use page on this website.

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Is Marijuana Addictive

Marijuana is addictive. While approximately 9 percent of users overall become addicted to marijuana, about 17 percent of those who start during adolescence and 25-50 percent of daily users become addicted. Thus, many of the nearly 6.5 percent of high school seniors who report smoking marijuana daily or almost daily are well on their way to addiction, if not already addicted.13 In fact, between 70-72% of 12-17 year olds who enter drug treatment programs, do so primarily because of marijuana addiction.13,17

Long-term marijuana users trying to quit report various withdrawal symptoms including irritability, sleeplessness, decreased appetite, anxiety, and drug craving, all of which can make it difficult to remain abstinent.  These withdrawal symptoms can begin within the first 24 hours following cessation, peak at two to three days, and subside within one or two weeks follow drug cessation. Behavioral interventions, including cognitive-behavioral therapy and motivational incentives (i.e., providing vouchers for goods or services to patients who remain abstinent) have proven to be effective in treating marijuana addiction.18

Although no medications are currently available, recent discoveries about the workings of the endocannabinoid system offer promise for the development of medications to ease withdrawal, block the intoxicating effects of marijuana, and prevent relapse.19 

Is Marijuana a Gateway Leading to the Abuse of Other Illicit Drugs?

An additional danger associated with marijuana use observed in adolescents is a sequential pattern of involvement in other legal and illegal drugs. Marijuana is frequently a stepping stone that bridges the gap between cigarette and alcohol use and the use of other more powerful and dangerous substances like cocaine and heroin. This stage-like progression of substance abuse, known as the gateway phenomenon,

is common among youth from all socioeconomic and racial backgrounds.18 Additionally, marijuana is often intentionally used with other substances, including alcohol or crack cocaine, to magnify its effects. Phencyclidine (PCP), formaldehyde, crack cocaine, and codeine cough syrup are also often mixed with marijuana without the user’s knowledge.20

 

From The American College of Pediatricians

The American College of Pediatricians is a national medical association of licensed physicians and healthcare professionals who specialize in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. The mission of the College is to enable all children to reach their optimal physical and emotional health and well-being.

A PDF copy of this statement is available here: Marijuana Use: Detrimental to Youth

For more information, visit The Health Effects of Marijuana Use page on this website.

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Is Marijuana Medicine

A recent article in the Journal of the American Medical Association noted there is very little scientific evidence to support the use of medical marijuana. Authors Samuel Wilkinson and Deepak D’Souza explain that medical marijuana is considerably different from all other prescription medications in that “[e]vidence supporting its efficacy varies substantially and in general falls short of the standards required for approval of other drugs by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA).”11 The FDA requires carefully conducted studies consisting of hundreds to thousands of patients in order to accurately assess the benefits and risks of a potential medication.

Although some studies suggest marijuana may palliate chemotherapy-induced vomiting, cachexia in HIV/AIDS patients, spasticity associated with multiple sclerosis, and neuropathic pain, there is no significant evidence marijuana is superior to FDA approved medications currently available to treat these conditions. Additionally, support for use of marijuana in other conditions, including post-traumatic stress disorder, Crohn’s disease and Alzheimer’s, is not scientific, relying on emotion-laden anecdotes instead of adequately powered, double-blind, placebo-controlled randomized clinical trials.11

Also, to be considered a legitimate medicine, a substance must have well-defined and measurable ingredients that are consistent from one unit (such as a pill or injection) to the next. This consistency allows researchers to determine optimal dosing and frequency. Drs. Samuel Wilkinson and Deepak D’Souza state:

“Prescription drugs are produced according to exacting standards to ensure uniformity and purity of active constituents … Because regulatory standards of the production process vary by state, the composition, purity, and concentration of the active constituents of marijuana are also likely to vary. This is especially problematic because unlike most other prescription medications that are single active compounds, marijuana contains more than 100 cannabinoids, terpenoids, and flavonoids that produce individual, interactive, and entourage effects.” 11

As a consequence, there are no dosing guidelines for marijuana for any of the conditions it has been approved to treat. And finally, there is no scientific evidence that the potential healthful effects of marijuana outweigh its documented adverse effects.11 Sound ethics demands that physicians “First do no harm.” This is why a dozen national health organizations, including the College, presently oppose further legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes.12 If and when rigorous research delineates marijuana’s true benefits relative to its hazards, compares its efficacy with current medications on the market, determines its optimal routes of delivery and dosing, and standardizes its production and dispensing (to match that of schedule II medications like narcotics and opioids), then medical opposition will dissipate.

From The American College of Pediatricians

The American College of Pediatricians is a national medical association of licensed physicians and healthcare professionals who specialize in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. The mission of the College is to enable all children to reach their optimal physical and emotional health and well-being.

A PDF copy of this statement is available here: Marijuana Use: Detrimental to Youth

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Smoking cessation drug may increase risk of adverse cardiovascular event

The FDA warned about Chantix, the most popular smoking cessation drug, back in 2012. Now researchers in Canada report that in an observational, self-controlled trial, patients prescribed varenicline (Chantix in the U.S.; Champix in Canada and Europe) were 34 percent more likely to have an emergency department visit or hospitalization for a cardiovascular event while taking the drug. Among those patients who had not previously experienced a cardiovascular event, the increased incidence was only 12 percent.

The researchers estimated that among all patients, there were 3.95 adverse cardiovascular events per 1,000 varenicline users that could be attributed to the drug. “This is a figure that physicians can quote to their patients,” the authors wrote.

The researchers also found a small increase in emergency department visits and hospitalizations for neuropsychiatric symptoms, but they wrote the findings were not robust and did not appear to be clinically meaningful.

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The Case for Skipping Parties and Making New Year’s Eve a Night of Self-Care

JESSICA MIGALA Health New Year’s Eve is a time of festive celebration—of dressing up, hitting a dance floor or crowded bar, and counting down to midnight, all to the sounds of music blasting and champagne corks popping. It’s about being with friends and loved ones, and waving good-bye to the old and welcoming in the new.

Well, we’re totally on board with the out with the old, in with the new part. Which is why we’re making the case for skipping the party scene and instead staying in and treating yourself to a night of self-care TLC. Doing these moves can help you breathe a sigh of relief, restore your spirit, and get in the right headspace so you launch your get-healthy resolutions on a strong note.

If you have big hopes coming up for 2018—such as losing weight, running a half marathon, doing a digital detox, getting more sleep—you’ll stack the cards in your favor if you’re physically and mentally prepared to tackle the challenge. Once you’ve made that mind shift, you can be on your way toward crushing your new year goals. These four self-care ideas for New Year’s Eve will set you up for success.

Plan your first move for January 1

So your plan for 2018 is to build muscle, or learn to cook, or start practicing meditation. Now’s the time, in the quiet of your home, to figure out what your first step will be toward making that goal happen. Don’t aim too high—come up with something realistic that will launch you on your way. In other words, instead of an 8 a.m. run, plan it for a more doable 10 a.m. or 3 p.m. Think of one thing you can do every day that will help you make your resolution a reality. Write it down, and vow to stick to it.

“Figure out what is one minimum change you can make for your well-being,” advises says Stacey Morgenstern, certified health coach and co-founder of Health Coach Institute. Is that eating a nourishing breakfast? Taking a brisk walk with a pal? Stashing your phone away after work so you cut that digital cord? “Drastic changes won’t last, and you’ll set yourself up for self-bullying or failure,” she says. “It’s the mini habits that make a big, positive impact over time.”

Reach out to your support team

Even if you’re riding solo this December 31, that doesn’t mean you can’t be with loved ones. Reach out—call, text, leave a sweet message on their Instagram. Connecting with the people who know you and support you can give you the feels, but it’ll also clue you into who you want as part of your support team as you tackle your 2018 goals. Tell them what you’re up to, so they can cheer you on as the year moves along.

“Setting a resolution is easy. Keeping it is hard, unless you have the right support and accountability,” says Morgenstern. Who’s going to cheerlead you through the rough days or check in? “That is really what will make this year different,” she adds.

Clear the clutter

We get it, going through your closets and pantry and deciding what to keep and what to junk doesn’t exactly sound like an ideal New Year’s Eve. But hear us out: There’s something very empowering about cutting yourself free from things you don’t use or need. Cleaning up and clearing out helps you feel in control and organized, and when your home is clutter-free, you’ll feel less mentally cluttered as well.

Plus, others might need some of the things you’re tossing more than you do. So look into local charities you can donate clothes, books, and other items. You’ll like the way it feels to start the new year by giving back—stronger and more connected, and that ultimately will help you with your goals.

Treat yourself to indulgences

Self-care is all about doing what nourishes you. Feel like a glass or two of pinot, or making brownies, or hanging on the sofa doing pretty much nothing? Or maybe hitting the spa for a bunch of treatments or ordering in dinner from a decadent but delicious restaurant? Ignore the judgy voice in your head that’s second-guessing or criticizing what you want and just enjoy yourself.

“Give yourself permission to have it your way and not feel guilty about it,” says Morgenstern. Indulgence doesn’t always mean spending big money or lazing around—even turning in before midnight to score a few hours of extra sleep or popping in a yoga video is a way to treat yourself well and feed your soul. The positivity boost will help you make the changes you’re planning and 2018 a success.

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