Leslie Glass's Blog, page 379

Four Reasons Why People Stay In An Abusive Relationship

According to the CDC, one in three women and one in four men have been victims of physical abuse. For one in five women and one in seven men the abuse is severe, yet many take a long time to or simply refuse to leave an abusive partner. Here are four reasons why it’s so hard to leave an abusive relationship.

1. They Believe The Last Time Will Be The Last Time

Abuse often follows a revolving cycle of these four stages:

Tension Building – you can feel the storm brewing on the horizon. You’re likely on your best behavior, trying to head arguments off at the pass.
Acting Out – this is when the abuse happens. It may be verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, spiritual, or any combination or all three.
Honeymoon – this stage is what often keeps victims trapped. The abuser is very sorr y and promises it will never happen again.
Calm – you feel safe, like maybe you can actually believe your partner this time. Unfortunately, this cycle almost always repeats itself.

2. They Have Conflicting Emotions

Many abusers are charming. We fell in love with them for a reason. If someone promises to change, we really want to believe them. Low-self esteem and childhood traumas may also be at play here. Many times, people either believe the abuse is his or her fault or they think abuse is a normal part of all relationships.

Above all, many people stay in abusive relationships because they are afraid, deathly afraid of:

Being further harmed by the abuser
Authority figures especially if substance use is involved
Being deported if the person is undocumented or doesn’t speak English
Losing friends and family. Abusers often play the part of loving partner in public.
Being outted if they are in a LGBTQ relationship
Being disowned due to strict religious or cultural beliefs

3. They’re Pressured To Stay In Abusive Relationship

Being forced to stay in an abusive relationship is another form of abuse. When children are involved, leaving an abusive partner is especially difficult. In some cases, the abuser may threaten to harm the children or take them away. In others, the person might feel extreme guilt about breaking up the family.

Teens and young adults face different types of pressures. Young girls who are sexually assaulted might feel pressure to keep quiet because of shame over being sexually active. Likewise, young men facing physical abuse also face the pressure of age-old stereotypes. They also risk being dismissed because they are “too young” to know about real love, abuse, and other grown-up problems.

4. They Depend On The Abuser

Without money or an alternate place to live, getting out of an abusive situation seems hopeless. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person lives with an abusive partner or if he or she has a disability.

How You Can Help

You might be the only person who knows about the abuse. How you react can be instrumental in supporting your friend. From loveisrespect.org, here are ways you can help:

Don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend who you think needs help. Tell them you’re concerned for their safety and want to help.
Be supportive and listen patiently. Acknowledge their feelings and be respectful of their decisions.
Help your friend recognize that the abuse is not “normal” and is NOT their fault. Everyone deserves a healthy, non-violent relationship.
Focus on your friend or family member, not the abusive partner. Even if your loved one stays with their partner, it’s important they still feel comfortable talking to you about it.
Connect your friend to resources in their community that can give them information and guidance. Remember, www.loveisrespect.org can help.
Help them develop a safety plan.
If they break up with the abusive partner, continue to be supportive after the relationship is over.
Even when you feel like there’s nothing you can do, don’t forget that by being supportive and caring, you’re already doing a lot.
Don’t contact their abuser or publicly post negative things about them online. It’ll only worsen the situation for your friend.

If you push your friend too hard to leave, you may alienate him or her. The most important thing you can do is be supportive.

The post Four Reasons Why People Stay In An Abusive Relationship appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Taking A Break From The Panic Spiral

Panic. You know that feeling of mounting overwhelm? Yeah… that one! When too much gets on your plate, is your tendency to panic? Is your go-to response to believe that you are all alone? Do you forget about those eager to lend a helping hand? Too often, when we need help the most, our panic spirals out of control.

We Turn Away Outside Help

Often, we allow panic to drive our lives into isolation. We decide we’re strong. We don’t need anyone else’s help. Instead, we roll up our sleeves and go it alone. Maybe we secretly want help, but we don’t allow ourselves to take. We end up shutting out the people who want to help to us.

We Keep On Caregiving And Refuse To Do Care-taking

Because we call ourselves generous, and our efforts in caregiving are enormous. Care-taking, however, is another story. “Taking” just sounds self-centered and greedy, while “giving” sounds thoughtful and kind.

We convince ourselves that we shouldn’t take care of anything for ourselves while we eagerly and freely give our time to others.

Adding more and more to our already overcrowded lives, it’s no surprise that panic is a result.

Freeze Your Spiral Of Over-Giving

Instead, in that moment of overwhelm, what if we realized that without taking there can be no giving? That taking help offered by another is also an act of generosity? That life just doesn’t flow if everyone gave and no one took.

Practice Taking

Be curious as to how this shows up in your life by observing how you take a compliment. Does “I love your sneakers” elicit a response from you of self-depreciation – “Oh, these old things?” Or do you reciprocate – “They’re nothing special. But I looooove your dress!” Or maybe you deflect it entirely – “Nonsense, they’re just sneakers.” Do you ever just take the compliment and simply say “thank you”? Try it. See how it feels to take care of yourself by letting others contribute to you. People who feel healed want to heal others. Let them.

The post Taking A Break From The Panic Spiral appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Poisoned Alcohol Kills Almost 80 Indonesians

From Lucia I. Suare Sang @ Fox News: Nearly 80 people in Indonesia are dead and 90 others have been hospitalized this month after drinking toxic bootleg liquor containing ingredients such as cough medicine and insect repellent, officials said.

Authorities said Tuesday that 45 people have died in three locations in the province of West Java, while another 31 people died earlier this month in the capital, Jakarta, and satellite cities.

The head of the state-run hospital in Cicalengka, Yani Sumpena, said doctors were overwhelmed with the influx of patients suffering from alcohol poisoning.

“Since April 6, there are 93 patients in our hospital while our capacity is very limited, only 19 beds,” Sumpena told Indonesian TV. “So the rest we refer to the surrounding hospitals.”

While drinking alcohol is discouraged, it is not illegal. Indonesia banned the sale of alcohol from tens of thousands of mini-marts and other small stores in 2015, however, high taxes on alcohol have spawned a black market for booze among the poor in the world’s most-populous Muslim nation.

 

Authorities said potentially lethal methanol can be a byproduct of bootleg distilling and the tainted alcohol is also sometimes mixed with soft drinks. In the recent spate of deaths, police said pure alcohol was sometimes combined with ingredients such as cough medicine and insect repellent.

“All the patients come with shortness of breath, diminished consciousness and many whose vision is blurred,” Amelia, a doctor at the state-run hospital in Cicalengka, told Indonesian TV.

Deaths from toxic alcohol are common in Indonesia but the latest cluster of fatalities, coming in a little more than a week, is dramatic, leading to speculation a single large distributor was responsible.

West Java police spokesman Trunoyudo Wisnu Andiko said they have not found evidence to support the theory.

He said seven people suspected of mixing or selling the bootleg liquor have been arrested, while another person remains at large.

“We have not yet found any link among them,” Andiko said. “Based on their confessions, they worked independently, each mixing the drinks in their own way such as using cough remedies, ointments and mosquito repellent.”

In the Jakarta area, police have arrested at least four suspects.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

The post Poisoned Alcohol Kills Almost 80 Indonesians appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Have Humans Developed an Addiction Gene

Are we creating an addiction gene? Last week ROR published an Associated Press study that indicates more people are aware of the opioid crisis. This is hardly surprising. With people dropping dead in the US at the rate of 112 a day, you’d have to be on Mars not to be aware of a serious public health problem. Imagine 112 people dropping dead a day of say, Legionaires Disease. There would be solutions in place, not twenty years after the onset, but immediately. The Surgeon General would not suddenly (after decades of escalation) advise the public to carry a nasal spray antibiotic around with them. If you have a deadly disease, and there is an antidote that works only to resuscitate but not to cure, how will that help anyone? Seriously.

The Surgeon General’s Advisory To Stock Narcan

Say Mom has a heroin addict in her home. With the SG’s advisory she’s supposed to know how to resuscitate him in the case of an overdose. Unfortunately, no one has taught her how to prevent his disease or how to treat him after resuscitating him. What can a parent, spouse, or loved one do for a chronic relapsing brain disease that tells the sufferer he doesn’t have a disease? He will certainly overdose again.

Where are the grownups here? Where’s public education? Where are treatment solutions?

The Addiction Public Health Issue Is Not New

Seven years ago when ROR was founded, addiction was the number one health issue in America. It was a killer everyone hated. There were plenty of news reports and documentaries showing what addiction looks like, but no education about the benefits of recovery, or how recovery for families, workplaces, and communities might be achieved. There was little to inform parents how to spot problems in teens, or how to deal with substance use as a family, or school system. A few years ago people were dying at lower rate but still dying. Hundreds in some communities. Young people. Teens.

It wasn’t until the bodies started literally piling up in the streets that the alarm bell was sounded, and solutions like carrying Narcan have been suggested. NIH just pledged $1.3 billion for research, but there’s still no education about prevention or recovery for families suffering right now.

The Real Health Issue Is Bigger Than An Opioid Crisis

The fundamental issue is that we have an addiction to a wide variety of substances, both legal and illegal. It’s not just an opioid crisis. It’s many kinds of substances.

Take alcohol, for example. Alcohol causes more health issues, hospitalizations, lost productivity, destroyed families, and deaths yearly (more than 5 million worldwide according to WHO) than opioids.

Alcohol is overlooked as a killer because it’s a legal, “fun” intoxicant with a powerful lobby and a long, checkered history. After prohibition was lifted, alcohol became the party emperor. There is no widespread information about the family disease of Alcohol Use Disorder (alcoholism), no information about the impact on children of substance use at home. No understanding of how to teach children or parents. Meth is still out there, cocaine is still out there. Designer drugs of all kinds are still out there. Why can’t the public be informed?

Nearly every parent coping with addiction in the US today is as clueless, helpless and hopeless as I was twenty years ago. The fact that we haven’t, as a nation, begun directly teaching people how to cope with substance use is a national scandal of epic proportions. It’s an epidemic because we literally let it happen. I don’t know any college president or middle school superintendent who is passionate about dealing with the alcohol and drug problems on their campuses. Students are taught to be silent.

Have Humans Developed An Addiction Gene

Humans have been using intoxicants to feel better since the beginning of time. Alcohol, opium, tea, coffee, chocolate, cannabis, sugar, and other naturally occurring substances have always been used. But the level of intoxicant use in the last hundred years has turned the love of feeling better into a worldwide substance use disorder (addiction) epidemic.

Because addiction is so widespread affecting so many millions of people, one wonders if humans have developed the addiction gene as more drugs are being prescribed for every complaint imaginable and ever more powerful intoxicants are designed? This is a question I haven’t heard anybody ask.

Education Is The Only Solution

We are in the dark ages when it comes to dealing with substance use disorder. If you don’t train and teach teens, parents, doctors, nurses, college presidents, and children about substances and their impact on the human brain, body, emotions, and relationships, then the addiction disease will continue to proliferate and destroy everyone it touches.

Intoxicants include: Sugar, caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, and a wide variety of naturally occurring opiates (morphine and heroin) and stimulants (cocaine, Qat, Ephedra), hallucinogens (mushrooms, cannabis) as well as literally hundreds of synthetic drugs. Everybody is hooked on something.

The post Have Humans Developed an Addiction Gene appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Are You Stressed?

In case you missed the memo, April is also National Stress Awareness Month.

Stress is part of life. For many people, stress can help get things done, put a little pressure on the system, help us rise to the occasion but prolonged stress can also be incredibly damaging to our mental, physical and emotional health so it must be watched and monitored correctly. When things fall out of balance, it becomes necessary to right the world and find balance on that beam. Especially for people in recovery who need to be vigilant about their health and wellness.

Unchecked and prolonged stress on a person can lead to serious, long-term health issues from insomnia to weight issues to headaches to heart disease.

We can feel stress from pretty much anything – the pressure to get good grades in school, performance at work in a sometimes competitive or “high-paced” environment. Relationships and family can cause stress for sure, as can life events. Hell, when my dog misses a meal, I feel stressed – what’s wrong with him? Why can’t he tell me how to fix it? Uncertainty causes stress. There’s ton’s of uncertainty in the world right now.

Here’s some information I compiled so we can look at ourselves to see if stress might be too much a part of our lives.

The most recognized physical manifestations of stress are:

1. Low energy

2. Headaches

3. Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation, and nausea

4. Aches, pains, and tense muscles

5. Chest pain and rapid heartbeat

6. Insomnia

7. Frequent colds and infections

8. Loss of sexual desire and or ability

The most recognized symptoms of behavioral stress are:

1. Depression

2. Anxiety, agitation

3. Moodiness, irritability or anger

4. Feeling overwhelmed

5. Loneliness and isolation

Now, a lot of these symptoms can arise for a variety of reasons so try and apply common sense when being self-reflective. If stress isn’t a factor and you have symptoms, you’re probably sick so see a doctor. If you feel super anxious and unhappy and have physical symptoms, then pay attention to these symptoms and think about whether your life may be causing more stress than is right for you.

Later in the week, we’ll look at practical solutions for stress so consider this part one – awareness.

The post Are You Stressed? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

These 2 Women Knit To Cope With Stress — Here’s Why You Should Consider Picking It Up Too

From Thisisinsider.com: Knitting can be more than just a hobby.












A 2013 survey in the British Journal of Occupational Therapy found significant psychological and social benefits in knitting that are worthy of further research.
The two women INSIDER interviewed for this piece both found solace from the demands of tech careers in the warm camaraderie of the knitting world.
Knitting can be a healthy coping mechanism for those who struggle with everything from anxiety to ADHD to PTSD.

It’s easy to think of knitting as simply a fun pastime or a good way to make some extra cash on the side. But research has shown that knitting has the potential to be more than just a hobby or side hustle.

Results of a survey of over 3,500 knitters worldwide were published in the February 2013 issue of the British Journal of Occupational Therapy. The researchers’ conclusion: “Knitting has significant psychological and social benefits, which can contribute to well-being and quality of life. As a skilled and creative occupation, it has therapeutic potential — an area requiring further research.”

INSIDER talked to two avid knitters who have both relied on their beloved craft to help them through extremely difficult times in their life. Although their individual stories differ, their observations about what drew them to knitting, and what continues to keep them engaged, are very similar.

Julie turned to knitting as
a way to cope with the mental disorders she struggled with.

Julie has always been a crafter but she didn’t start knitting until 10 years ago, when she was an adult — and also a new stay-at-home mom. She turned to knitting out of boredom and it quickly became a hobby.

“It wasn’t long before I was completely in love. I love the way the fabric looks and moves. I love making something beautiful that can also be practical, warm, and comforting,” Julie told INSIDER.

Throughout her life, Julie has also battled various mental disorders from ADHD to C-PTSD— and she’s found knitting to be an effective and healthy coping mechanism.

“The repetitive act of making stitches is soothing, and working with a lovely, soft yarn helps calm my anxiety, she said. “It’s a very mindful activity. It also gives my hands something to do, which is so important for folks with ADHD.”

Julie said that even when the hospitals she was in didn’t allow needles and yarn, her doctor called in a “prescription” that allowed her to knit.

“I didn’t make anything worth keeping while there, but that was beside the point — the act of knitting was a lifeboat to normalcy and a huge help,” she told INSIDER.

Kimberly was inspired by the friendships she made at a local yarn shop.

Kimberly also learned to knit as an adult, although she, too, came from a strong crafting background as a child. It wasn’t easy at first — Kimberly said it took her three years to learn to knit, but that once she did, she found the techniques to be “empowering.”

Knitting led Kimberly to a community of people whose friendships helped her deal with the stresses of life.

“Being surrounded by yarn and fiber-related people were instrumental in dealing with a former declining marriage and stressful technology careers,” she told INSIDER. “Besides the obvious crafting, whenever I would feel negatively I would direct my energy into the Ravelry [an online knitting community] forums I had joined, volunteer wherever I could in the Ravelry editors and helpers groups, or participate in a yarn-related meet up.”

Both Julie and Kimberly like the challenge that knitting presents.

Julie loves the constant sense of engagement that knitting offers.

“My favorite kinds of projects are ones that challenge me. I’ll always love knitting miles of mindless stockinette, but figuring out a new stitch or construction technique is the best kind of puzzle,” she told INSIDER.

Kimberly says she enjoys working on non-typical knitting constructions. She works on sweaters and wraps and shawls for herself, as well as accessories for her five-year-old daughter.

The knitting process itself is soothing for both Julie and Kimberly.

Julie says that knitting is good for her in both concrete and abstract ways. She says losing herself in the craft can help her “shut off the rabid monkeys that sometimes run around in [her] brain.”

She was even able to turn her hobby into a business. For five years, Julie ran an indie yarn company, dying her own yarn. “That gave me the chance to do something that was creative and productive,” she said. “It let me spread joy to other yarn lovers. Working in yarn let me be in a space that was friendly, inclusive, and supportive — unlike my pre-child career in tech.”

Kimberly echoed Julie’s sentiments, saying that knitting calms her. Years ago, when she worked in a busy ER, Kimberly would turn to cross-stitching at the end of a shift as a way to relax her brain and ease the rush of adrenaline she often felt.

Now, Kimberly likes going to yarn shops with friends — even if she doesn’t buy anything — and discussing the craft in general. These excursions and conversations can be a bright spot in an otherwise not-so-great day.

She does, however, warn that the hobby has the potential to turn obsessive for some. Kimberly told INSIDER that she struggled with a hoarding issue and for a while was unable to curb her knitting spending habits. She’s since overcome the struggle and has found ways to keep crafting as a positive coping mechanism in her life.

Knitting can serve as a constant when everything else in life doesn’t seem to be going right.

Julie highlights the fact that knitting is a learning process, and urges those who try it to take it slow, walk away when you’re frustrated, and look at mistakes as progress. Approaching the craft with a healthy attitude helps allow it to be a constructive coping mechanism when life gets tough.

“Knitting is a good way to ground yourself,” Julie told INSIDER. “When your entire world is upside-down, you can pick up your needles and remember that no matter what, knitting is still knitting. A knit stitch is a knit stitch, just like it was yesterday and will be tomorrow.”

Knitting also lets you create something tangible — it’s an accomplishment and something you can be proud of when you might have a tendency to be hard on yourself in other facets of your life.

“Knitting lets you create something when everything else feels destructive,” Julie said “When I have a day where I just can’t handle anything, not even a shower, I can at least knit a little while and know I’ve done something. It’s amazing how much that helps me.”

The post These 2 Women Knit To Cope With Stress — Here’s Why You Should Consider Picking It Up Too appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Signs You’re Too stressed At Work

From CNBC: April is National Stress Awareness month, but many of us might not be aware of how stressed we are or why we are stressed in the first place.

Although a constant state of stress has become the new norm for many working adults, the physical and mental toll is crippling their chances at success, workplace and happiness experts Annie McKee and Emma Seppälä argue.

“Most of us work more than eight hours a day,” McKee writes in her latest book “How To Be Happy At Work” based on decades of working with Fortune 500 companies. “That means that if we are unhappy at work, we are miserable from more than a third of our lives.”

McKee notes that “slow-burning stress, anger and other negative emotions can literally kill us.”

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“Some people face the reality of their unhappy work situation only as a result of a heart attack, a broken relationship, or a tragedy. Don’t wait that long,” she writes.

Based on McKee and Seppälä’s research, here are the ways stress affects your body and the measures you can take to prevent or decrease the harmful results of working too hard.

Why you’re probably feeling so stressed at work

People today live by the “faulty theory” that in order to succeed, “you need to continually be getting things done and moving on to the next goal as quickly as possible,” Seppälä, a Stanford psychologist and science director of Stanford’s Center For Compassion and Altruism Research, notes in “The Happiness Track.”

This is further perpetuated because “work addiction is rewarded by our culture,” she adds, and is “therefore considered a good thing despite its long-term negative impact on well-being.”

Providing historical context, McKee notes that “as societies industrialized, the notion that work should be painful grew and spread as workers lost autonomy, the joy of seeing the fruits of their labors and even fresh air.”

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Today, McKee writes, “we live in a world where overwork is overvalued,” thanks to constantly changing company structure, the burden of needing to do more with fewer resources, longer work days and the advancement of technology.

“Overly competitive colleagues, too little time for what needs to get done and poor leadership are just three of the many problems that can cause constant stress at work, which in turn causes physical, mental and emotional problems,” McKee writes.

This is not a sustainable way to live.

The physical, psychological and social effects of chronic stress

It’s important to note that some stress is normal and does have its benefits. McKee and Seppälä both define “good stress” as a product of our human fight-or-flight response, “where our bodies prepare to fight off a potentially deadly attack or run away,” Seppälä writes.

Here are the physical responses that occur as a result of our brains communicating a threat to our nervous system, according to McKee:

Our muscles become tense
Our hearts beat faster take consume more oxygen and nutrients
Our bronchial airwaves expand
Our pupils dilate to see more around us
Our cognitive processing briefly enhances so we can think faster

“These responses are helpful when we’re facing real dangers such as a physical attack or a natural disaster,” McKee writes. But here’s the catch: “Unfortunately, our brains don’t do a very good job of distinguishing this type of serious danger from the kinds of pressures and threats we experience at work.”

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Seppälä notes that stress in small doses can help us achieve short-term goals, which may resonate with plenty of procrastinators.

But over time, “chronic stress,” or feeling stressed all the time, “is the number one enemy of success,” Seppälä adds.

While this is by no means an exhaustive list, effects of chronic stress, also known as long-term acute stress, include:

Proneness to illness and chronic infections
High blood pressure
Heart problems
Increased susceptibility to diabetes and cancer
Gastrointestinal issues
Muscular and skeletal problems
Restlessness throughout the day and night
Substance abuse

Chronic stress also has the ability to interfere with social well-being and spread to your co-workers, friends and family.

“Anxious emotions such as fear are physiologically contagious through pheromones, chemicals released in our sweat,” Seppälä writes. “When someone emits ‘fear pheromones,’ the people who come into contact with that person show greater activation in brain areas corresponding to anxiety and fear (particularly the amygdala).”

And if you have found yourself working more to avoid your stress, McKee notes that can also be a dangerous coping mechanism.

“It makes things worse as we ignore our relationships, cut out fun and eat and sleep poorly. Working like this doesn’t help us get more done, it does just the opposite,” McKee writes. “We are too tired and worn out to do our jobs well. Our resources are depleted.”

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How to beat stress and feel better

Getting to a happier, less stressed place in life does not have to be difficult. However, it’s important to note that you can’t just talk yourself out of stress, or tough it out, or resort to distractions.

Here are two steps McKee and Seppälä offer:

Determine the main sources of your stress. If you are stressed from working too much, McKee recommends you ask yourself if you really need to work that hard or if it’s only out of habit and question if you are working too much as an escape from another part of your life.
Learn how to be more resilient. Seppälä defines resilience as the”ability to quickly bounce back from the stressful situations you face every day.”

New York Times best-selling author Adam Grant agrees that resilience is crucial. “I don’t think there’s any skill more critical for success than resilience,” he tells CNBC Make It. To build yours, he suggests you get out of your head: Focus on whom you’re helping and how, and on keeping a journal in which you write about the contributions you make to others.

Cultivating gratitude and generosity, his research has found, actually helps with stress.

If a situation at work has made you feel stressed, Seppälä recommends countering your body’s automatic tendency to be negative, worry and overthink by taking deep breaths. Breathing is a “rapid and reliable pathway into your nervous system dedicated to helping you regain your optimal state.” It not only calms you down, Seppälä writes, but it also normalizes your level of cortisol, also known as the “stress hormone.”

Another way Seppälä recommends you can bounce back from stress is to engage in slow-paced activities like yoga or going for walks in nature (or, if you live in a city, a tree-lined street or park).

“Since not all stress is bad, the trick is to harness the benefits of short-term stress while not falling prey to chronic stress,” Seppälä notes. “Sustainable long-term success is not about burning the candle at both ends, it’s about learning to skillfully surf the stress wave.”

 

The post Signs You’re Too stressed At Work appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

The Guide To Reporting Child Abuse

When you suspect child abuse, what should you do about it? Reporting child abuse is mandated for people in many professions. Here’s why. With the prevalence of suspected child abuse and neglect and actual cases of child abuse and neglect, there are mandated reporters, usually professionals, who must comply with the law and report. Also, in some states, everyone is mandated to report suspected child abuse.

“All States, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands have statutes identifying persons who are required to report suspected child maltreatment to an appropriate agency, such as child protective services, a law enforcement agency, or a State’s toll-free child abuse reporting hotline.”  The Child Welfare Information Gateway

While not all of the following symptoms are consistent with neglect and abuse, a number of problems may reveal a significant problem for the child.

Suspected Neglect Red Flags

Parent not available to care appropriately/child has no one to go home to
Parent denies medical services when recommended
Child consistently smelling, wearing dirty clothes, or not having the appropriate clothes for the weather or for school/other events
Child not having enough to eat/hoarding food/malnourished
Child hoarding other things like toys, pens and pencils, notebooks, etc.
Child not having safe shelter
Child missing a lot of school
Child’s grades getting worse
Child has mental health problems such as cutting and burning self, depression, anxiety, OCD

Suspected Physical Abuse Red Flags (may include the above)

Signs of bruises/burns/broken bones and teeth or appears in pain
Child withdraws from others
Children wetting themselves frequently
Child has aggressiveness/threatening behaviors and violence
Child has other acting-out behaviors such as burning things and violence to animals
Child is fearful of any touch
Child runs away from home and/or tries to stay away from home as much as possible

Suspected Sexual Abuse Red Flags (may include the above)

Itching or pain in the genital area
Urinary pain
Reported bleeding and bruising in genitals
Has an STD
Fear of going home or of one particular person
Sexualized behavior
Sexualized behavior of an adult towards the child
Child is knowledgeable/sexually advanced for the age
Child has sexualized behavior towards a peer that goes beyond normal age-appropriate curiosity

Who Are Mandatory Reporters

So if you are questioning any of the above indicators, they must be taken seriously. For mandatory reporters, we must report such suspicions to authorities. While mandatory reporters vary by state, the most common reporters include:

Social workers and psychologists
Counselors/therapists/other mental health professionals
Psychiatrists
Teachers/school administrators/guidance counselors/other school personal as indicated by the state requirements
Physicians/nurses/dentists/dental hygienists/EMTs/all other medical personnel
Medical examiners
Law enforcement
Child care workers
Foster care workers
Clergy
Federal and state employees who are mandated such as Department of Human Services employees, child and family services workers, etc.

Mandated reporters may vary by state, so check your state for guidelines. But also, everyone can report if they are fearful of child abuse and in some states, everyone is a mandatory reporter no matter their profession. No one is ever punished for making a report in good faith – meaning that they believed a child was in danger. Reports are also confidential or mostly confidential (see by state).

How Reports Are Made

States may require a phone call, written documentation and a specific form for reporting, which gathers as much information about the child, family, and alleged abuser as possible. Also required will be details about the gathered information such as where the alleged abuse took place and what behaviors led the reporter to believe there was abuse or neglect. Also, for some mandated reporters who don’t report suspected neglect and abuse, they can be sued in civil court and in criminal court. As a reporter, you don’t make the decision regarding whether or not there is neglect or abuse as that is the task of Child Protection Services (or other-named services that may vary by state).

There are approximately 20 states/territories that require anyone to report suspected problems. As these rules vary by state and can change at any time, it is important for you to know the reporting guidelines in your area. Be proactive in your knowledge and understanding of these guidelines, whether you are a mandated reporter or a person who is concerned.

Much of this information was gathered from the Child Welfare Information Gateway of the Children’s Bureau and is highly recommended for all mandated reporters

The post The Guide To Reporting Child Abuse appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Alcohol Impact on Seniors’ Health

As people begin to age there is an increasing alcohol impact on the body. In middle age people may now find themselves having consequences to drinking they didn’t have when younger. This is related to metabolic changes such as weight and the ability to break down the alcohol in our systems. People may have been able to drink without consequences earlier in their lives, but now, have little tolerance for alcohol.

Alcohol Impact And Medication Interactions

In addition, seniors tend to take more medications as they age, and alcohol use with these medications can create even more problems. Alcohol can render some medications useless (such as watering down the medication), or alcohol can make a medication too strong. Some examples include Ambien (for sleep) and Valium (for anxiety). Alcohol shouldn’t be taken with these medications. The interaction is called ‘potentiating’ the medication, and could actually lead to an accidental overdose.

Alcohol Impact When Seniors Drink More

Another alcohol issue is that seniors turn to alcohol to cope with life losses such as the loss of a career due to retirement; empty-nest syndrome; boredom; loneliness; deaths of family, friends, or a partner; death of a beloved pet; isolation from others; family problems; loss of income; being placed in a care facility; and deteriorating health and mental health issues. Alcohol may make people feel better initially, but unfortunately, drinking begins to cause more problems and consequences over time.

Statistics From NCADD and SAMHSA Reveal

Approximately 2.5 million older adults have alcohol or drug use problems
Widowers over 75 have the highest rate of alcoholism in the U.S
Some 50% of nursing home residents have problems related to drinking
Women tend to be more susceptible to negative effects
“Abuse of alcohol and prescription drugs among adults 60 and older is one of the fastest growing health problems facing this country” (SAMHSA)

Some Symptoms Of Alcohol-Related Problems

Odor of alcohol/slurred speech
Lying about the use and/or minimizing the amount
Hiding and/or sneaking drinking
Poor judgment
Staying away from family and friends
Confusion (may mimic dementia)
Fender benders or car crashes
Memory and concentration difficulties (may mimic dementia)
Ignoring warnings about mixing alcohol with medications
Becoming intoxicated more easily
Changes in eating patterns
Increased pain symptoms including upset stomach
Lack of interest in activities previously enjoyed
Depression, anxiety, change in moods, and grief
Becoming agitated and may be violent
Problems sleeping or oversleeping
Struggling to maintain hygiene and may include incontinence
Falling/tripping
Having illnesses related to drinking such as pancreatitis and brain damage
Having more medical illnesses unrelated to drinking such as COPD, stroke, and high blood pressure, as well as bruises and broken bones from tripping and falling.

While growing older can be satisfying in many ways, senior health can be negatively affected both by lifestyle habits like poor nutrition, lack of exercise and lack of mental stimulation and increased use of medications and alcohol. Alcohol use often rises with age, and Alcohol Use Disorder (alcoholism) is a chronic progressive disease that gets worse with age. Like other diseases, Alcohol Use Disorder can be treated at any age.  If you are concerned for yourself or for a loved one, there is hope and recovery.

If you need help for a senior’s drinking, Recovery Guidance is a free resource to find professionals near you.

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Material Girl’s Recipe For Acceptance

OK, so I’m not really a material girl, but when I am stressed, I tend to look for temporary solace in the mall. Unfortunately, wanting more is the opposite of being content with what I do have. Here’s my recipe for taming my inner shopaholic and finding a spa-like serenity in my own home.

What Does “I Want” Mean To Me?

I desire something I don’t have.
I am lacking something I need.
Needing this something may have put me in a state of destitution or poverty.
This one missing thing may be necessary for my completeness.

Grammatically, this verb is present tense, but it delivers a future sense of satisfaction. My happiness or even wholeness is dependent and waiting on this one elusive item. I want is restless and anxious.

What Does “I Have” Mean To Me?

I own something, tangible property or an asset.
I’m part of something – a family, a team, an organization. I am in a kindred or relative position.
I’ve experienced or endured emotions like joy or pain.
I’m responsible for or to something. I have a dog, or my cat has me.

Have is “the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” (Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer)

What Do I Really Want?

Another bag of white chocolate candies.
The pretty rich dark chocolate hair I had in my twenties.
Fresh, radiant, and wrinkle-free skin.
My sister-in-law to still be alive.
My broken family to be put back together.
More money in my bank account.
A full night’s sleep.

Just reading that list makes me anxious. My sister has passed; my family is broken. Wanting that to be different is a fruitless and sleepless struggle. Being up at night leads to late night infomercial watching, which leads to more wants. Not only do I want fresh, radiant skin, but I want the same rare melon serum Cindy Crawford uses on her skin, so I can have her perfect complexion and her implied perfect life.

What Do I Really Have And What Can I Do With What I Have?

Laugh lines and sun spots from many happy days at the beach.
Silver gray hairs from loving a busy little boy.
Amazing friends who stick closer than family.
A big vat of coconut oil I bought at the health food store.
A wide selection of essential oils because I can’t say “No.”

It’s time to accept that God didn’t want me to be Cindy Crawford. My sister is gone, and most families are broken. My ruddy Native American/Irish skin will never be camera ready, and codependent Pam has already spent her lifetime’s allowance on late night impulse buys. I can, however, make my own affordable beauty treatment.

Recipe For Serenity Sugar Scrub

3 Tablespoons of Coconut Oil
3 Tablespoons of Sugar
10-15 Drops of essential oils (optional)

Pour ingredients into a small air-tight container. A bowl with a lid or a mason a jar works great. Mix until combined. I used a fork because anxious Pam needs simple steps and simple tools.

Since I bought the sampler kit of oils, I added a blend of Lemon, Lavender, Frankincense, and Lime. Lemon is known for its skin brightening properties, while Lavender is very calming. Frankincense shows great promise in cell renewal.

This sugar scrub may not be life changing like comparable products featured on late night infomercials, but taking the time to care for my skin and myself is far more restorative than anything else on the market.

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