Leslie Glass's Blog, page 331
October 4, 2018
What To Expect In An Al-Anon Meeting
Seven years ago, when I first entertained the idea of going to a meeting, I was scared and confused. Was Al-Anon another way to abbreviate Alcoholics Anonymous? Would it really help? As if anything could. Over the next few years, I found more reasons to not go to Al-Anon until one day I finally went, and my life changed.
Expect To Hear Your Story
In one of my early meetings, I was privately seething with hate. My mother-in-law cruelly wrote me, my husband, and my son out of her will. Her backlash cost our family $80,000. I was mortified, bitter, and stuck in a perpetual realm of hating her. And she was dead! I was consumed with hating a dead woman.
As I sat quietly in this large meeting, two other women and one man shared the same version of my private hell. It was almost as if they knew my story, but they didn’t.
This is why Al-Anon works. No type of suffering is new to man, and collectively someone in the group has found a way to get over the suffering. Al-Anon meetings are:
“A fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope, in order to solve their common problems.”
Expect A Lot Of Traditions
At the tender age of 17, I attended my very first funeral for my Catholic Grandfather. I was raised Baptist. The sitting, standing, kneeling, and audience participation was beyond confusing.
My first Al-Anon meeting was kind of like that. The meetings are steeped in traditions, which do vary slightly from group to group. All of the meetings I’ve been to last only one hour and follow these core traditions:
They open with a moment of silence followed by a group reading of the Serenity Prayer, which isn’t written out anywhere:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
They only say their first names, and they say them a lot! Each time someone speaks, they say their name. We don’t give out last names as to remain anonymous.
Most meetings are held in churches, and they pass a basket to chip in for the rent. Most people throw a buck or two into the basket. Unlike church offering plates, it’s OK to dig through this basket to make change.
They use the same 12 Steps as Alcoholics Anonymous, and they read them out loud at the start of every meeting.
Al-Anon also has 12 Traditions. In most of our meetings, one person reads the tradition of the month, and then we all say Tradition 12 together. This is also not written down:
“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.”
Expect To Learn Adulting Skills
Some of the first lessons I learned in Al-Anon are the most profound. I’ll never forget the days I learned:
I can only change myself.
Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.
Expectations are predetermined resentments.
I didn’t cause it (someone else’s addiction); I can’t cure it, and I can’t control it.
Al-Anon also taught me to become self-sufficient and to keep my mouth shut. I learned if I dealt with my problems first, I’d be busy enough for long enough.
Expect To Find Healing
Most Al-Anon meetings close with a long reading. My favorite parts of the reading are:
“Whatever your problems, there are those among us who have had them too. If you try to keep an open mind you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness to great to be lessened.”
And:
“We aren’t perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us, you’ll love us in a very special way – the way we already love you.”
Expect To Hold Hands
To close our meeting, we make a big circle and join hands. We again say the Serenity Prayer, and then we tack on this phrase:
“When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, let the hands of Al-Anon and Al-Ateen always be there, and let it begin with me. Let it begin with me.”
We have never closed by singing Kumbaya, but sometimes it seems fitting. In the worst times of my life, I’ve found the most peace in these simple, quiet meetings. If you’ve ever been hurt by someone else’s drinking, Al-Anon welcomes you.
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Did you know the 12 Steps, which have helped millions find recovery, can also help you find peace and serenity? Check out our latest book, Find Your True Colors In 12-Steps.
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Life In Recovery
Who needs daily recovery support to overcome big problems? Guess what, we all do. And that’s why a safe haven where you can relax and explore at your own pace is a lifesaver no matter where you are on your recovery journey. Daily support helps us slow down, appreciate every day, and turn the corner. So, if something in your life needs a change only you can make, you’re in the right place. Take a deep breath. It’s going to be OK.
Welcome To Reach Out Recovery
ROR is seven years old this September. Our look has changed many times over the years, we’ve added new features, and a shop with cool recovery products. But our mission is the same: to get you comfortable with recovery and keep you inspired every single day. We search for the latest recovery tips, facts, and tools. Then we translate that information for you into easy to understand content.
We’re not therapists or a treatment center. We will not track you down and stage an intervention. When you browse our website, you are safe. So relax, get comfy and keep coming back for the life you want to have.
Where To Start Your Recovery Support
To help you navigate our massive website, here are some great articles and resources to get you through the first few hours, then days, then weeks, then before you know it months of feeling better, getting better and…flourishing in your life.
1. How To Regulate In Recovery
We joke around about HALT, the acronym for hungry, angry, lonely, tired, but it was created as a reminder for a reason. 100% of my recovery is 100% affected by how I regulate myself. Let me explain, one of the things that became crystal clear as the years passed in recovery was that when I followed a healthy lifestyle, my life/recovery was easier to manage. (Keep Reading…)
2. Healing From Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships are never easy. After we find recovery, we often have little or no room left in our lives for the drama that comes with these toxic relationships. Further, even healthy marital and long-term intimate relationships often go through major reconstruction during recovery or face collapsing. (Keep Reading…)
3. Recovery Results Appreciate The Progress
How can we measure recovery results? I used to work for someone who would regularly remark, “I really don’t care how hard someone is trying, I only care about the results they get me.” This may be a good line of thinking when it comes to business performance, but it doesn’t apply to addiction recovery and mental health progress. To be realistic about it, trying hard in recovery doesn’t mean you won’t relapse, or deal with other missteps, but it does usually lead to improvement. See, the recovery results are in progress, even when it’s slow. (Keep Reading…)
4. What Have You Done For You Lately?
By the time we find recovery, most of us realize what we were doing before wasn’t working. And many of us are ready to make drastic changing in the people, places, and things related to our downfall, but where to start? And how do we keep that up? Doing a weekly recovery check-up helps you monitor your progress and add new healthy activities to your week. (Keep Reading…)
5. Managing Mental Health And Addiction Is Resilience
It’s a funny thing when you write about your own mental health. On the one hand, I do so because I have certain insights into all of this that might make my point of view helpful to some people. On the other hand, making my own life public doesn’t come without a price, so I want to be clear about something. My recovery, and my ongoing work to understand mental health and how to manage it has not made me weak or fragile, it’s made me stronger and more resilient. (Keep Reading…)
6. Top Five Areas For Recovery Healing
Recovery healing is an exciting concept that is just now gaining momentum. For those new to recovery, it may seem that not using means you’re in recovery. And further, that life and relationships can be restored just by the absence of doing whatever substance or behavior was out of control. Those in long term recovery, however, know that recovery healing is a balanced lifestyle with these five components all in place and working together. (Keep Reading…)
7. Holiday Sobriety Survival Guide
Your holiday sobriety needs support. Unless you are the only person on earth with a totally sane, sober family and friends, you will be confronted with things like:People enjoying alcoholic drinks (or watermelon) that you once loved as well and family discussing things that push your buttons. (Keep Reading…)
8. Dear 20-Year Old Me
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I wish I knew at my darkest times what I know now, six years sober. I wish I could go back to my 20 year-old younger struggling self and tell her what would happen if she continued on her path of destruction. I’d love to hold her hand, to comfort her, and give her some coping strategies for her overwhelming life—a life she just can’t make sense of. I’d love to tell her that it wasn’t her fault—that she was primed for this path—and that she could learn to love herself enough to stop her harmful and addictive behaviors. (Keep Reading…)
9. Five Recovery Lessons I Learned About Myself
Recovery lessons are tough to learn. Since I’ve been working on these lessons for two decades, I have had some time to think about recovery, and what I’ve learned about myself. Here’s what recovery work revealed about me that I didn’t know at 21, or even 30. (Keep Reading…)
10. Poor Body Image Led To Substance Use
Poor body image plagued me since childhood. I’ve always been the big girl. In pre-school, I compared the size of my thighs to the next girl next to me. In middle school I was put on a diet. Finally by my teens, I discovered the miracle cure: drugs. For the next twenty years, I used drugs control my poor body image. (Keep Reading…)
Keep Learning
Many of our visitors begin in one of these popular categories:
Abuse
Adult Children Of Alcoholics
Boundaries
Codependency
Grief
Family
Relationships
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We also have a fabulous Facebook page that is updated daily. We post links to our new articles, inspirational quotes, some fun memes, and heartwarming videos. It’s a respite from the dirt and grime of everyday life, and it’s a great place to find other people who have been through similar problems. We’re also on Youtube. You can visit the ROR Youtube channel to see our history in 72 videos, from 11 seconds to 24 minutes.
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Sexual Child Abuse: What To Do
At least one in four girls and one in six boys have been molested before the age of 18. Most victims know their perpetrator, which may be a family member, friend or acquaintance, or even a date. Here’s what you, as a parent, and your child needs to know.
What Is Sexual Abuse?
First, it’s critically important to know what sexual abuse is. The American Psychological Association defines sexual abuse as an:
“Unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent.”
Sexual activity includes abuse that can be physical, emotional, and/or verbal. It can be overt (such as being physically molested or raped) or covert (someone making you undress, pose for pictures, or making you watch pornography). It can also be used in bullying.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network further explains,
“Child sexual abuse is any interaction between a child and an adult (or another child) in which the child is used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or an observer. Sexual abuse can include both touching and non-touching behaviors. Non-touching behaviors can include voyeurism (trying to look at a child’s naked body), exhibitionism, or exposing the child to pornography. Children of all ages, races, ethnicities, and economic backgrounds may experience sexual abuse. Child sexual abuse affects both girls and boys in all kinds of neighborhoods and communities.”
Warning Signs Of Sexual Child Abuse
Many times, children who are abused are also threatened and bullied into keeping quiet. Here are some common warning signs to watch for:
An increase in nightmares and/or other sleeping difficulties
Withdrawn behavior
Angry outbursts
Anxiety
Depression
Not wanting to be left alone with a particular individual(s)
Sexual knowledge, language, and/or behaviors that are inappropriate for the child’s age
First Steps To Heal Sexual Abuse
If the abuse has happened within the last 24 hours, these are the first steps victims and their parents can take towards healing and regaining control.
1. Get Help Immediately
Do not keep the abuse secret. Call a trusted friend or adult to help you cope. Call 911 or a hotline. Here are two hotlines you could call:
National Victims of Sexual Assault
National Victims of Domestic Violence Hotline
2. Get Medical Help
Go to the hospital; do not bathe or change clothes. If there has been penetration, the hospital can do a “rape kit” to get DNA material from the perpetrator that will aid in the legal process. Go to the hospital even if you don’t want to report the assault. You need to be seen by a doctor.
3. Talk To A Safe Adult
If you don’t want to report this, it is your choice, for some people don’t want to go through the process of a court hearing (for some, it almost feels like being raped again). But you still need to talk to a trusted adult and be medically checked out for possible STDs or injuries that need to be treated.
Know that some adults such as teachers, counselors, ministers, and other adults are “mandated reporters” which means they legally have to contact the police and Child Protective Services if you tell them. However, if you decide to report, these people can be very supportive of you.
4. Get Counseling
Contact an assault/rape support center who can help you with counseling and decisions regarding any legal actions you may wish to pursue. Two resources to help you are:
National Victims of Sexual Assault
National Victims of Domestic Violence Hotline
You can also seek other counselors who may specialize in sexual trauma. Parents and children alike can benefit from individual and family counseling.
Emotional Healing From Sexual Abuse
Feelings of fear, hurt, pain, depression, and anxiety are real. No one can heal from them without support. It’s important for all survivors of child sexual abuse to know these five truths.
1. Don’t Blame Yourself
The perpetrator is at fault for what happened, not the victim. Even if you were wearing tight clothes, flirting, were intoxicated and couldn’t give permission, it is not your fault. Clothing, flirting, or being impaired by alcohol are not excuses for someone to abuse you.
2. Don’t Feel Guilty
Some victims, even when being assaulted, may feel sexual feelings or may have an orgasm which makes them feel guilty. This is not about whether you wanted to be victimized; it’s about how the body may naturally respond to sexual stimuli.
3. Don’t Act On Negative Feelings
Feelings can’t be fixed by drinking or drugging, or self-harm behaviors such as cutting and burning, harming others as you have been harmed, or other dangerous behaviors. You may even feel suicidal, but you don’t need to act on the feeling. Instead, you need to seek help from professionals.
4. Use Healthy Coping Skills
Trying to find a new normal helps. Get back into favorite activities like:
Talking to friends
Participating in your usual leisure events such as school extra-curricular activities
Playing video games
Hanging out with friends
Joining a support group, journaling, exercising, and being creative can also help survivors heal from the abuse.
5. Healing Takes Time
Something terrible has happened, and you can’t pretend it didn’t. Don’t feel bad if you feel bad, but know that you don’t have to be stuck with the same feelings all your life. You can be hurt and resilient at the same time. You can also can take charge of your life and your own healing process by finding others who know how to help you heal in healthy ways.
Re-establish your routines, give yourself time to grieve and feel sad and angry, and cope with negative thoughts and feelings by letting others know.
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Why We Need Integrative Medicine
What Is Integrative Medicine :To integrate means to “unite” or “blend” and in the context of medicine, it means to use all modalities available to return a patient to health. Every type of medicine has its place in aiding a body that’s not at ease or dis-eased. Nutrition, homeopathy, acupuncture, chiropractic, herbalism, meditation, yoga, Tai Chi and other lifestyle changes, are all integrative modalities which serve the body as a whole. Natural healing wisdom seeks to utilize a healing tool for the patient in order to discharge inflammation and return them to optimal health.
What Is Inflammation
Inflammation is the body’s way of bringing an imbalance to our attention. Where there is pain, heat, redness and/or swelling – there is a disturbance in optimal health. Typical Western medicine suppresses the inflammation with a pill and we go about our business until the inflammation exacerbates and becomes chronic. Back to the doctor we go to get more pills, stronger pills or a different kind of pill to further suppress inflammation that has gotten severe. It’s usually not until the chronic inflammation has reached a level of degeneration, that we seek a second opinion.
Integrative Medicine Considers All Solutions
But there is another way. Integrative medicine practitioners and coaches consider all medicine available and bend toward nature to provide the best solution. There is a time and a place for prescription medication, but the physical aspects of healing cannot be separated from the mental, spiritual and emotional aspects. Integrative medicine unites Western medicine with traditional Chinese medicine, Aryuvedic medicine, and other modalities which embrace the entire individual.
What Part Does Nutrition Play
Nutrition is a unique starting point in Integrative medicine. “You are what you eat” is not merely a slogan, but can be traced back to Hippocrates, who said, “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” Food matters. What we eat can have profound effects on our health. What we eat sends signals to our body resulting in the production or the prevention of disease. One only has to open a newspaper, a book, a medical journal, or go online to see the multitude of information available relating food and diets to disease and disease prevention. Knowledge, however, does not equate to behavioral change.
To reframe inflammation as an intervention by the body to seek healing in a way that treats and releases, instead of conceals and silences, is to take an integrative approach to medicine. To begin with nutrition, is to begin at the source of possibility.
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October 3, 2018
Science Says You Should Embrace Hugging
When a loved one has a tough day, you probably give them a hug without a second thought. And a new study says that simple act may have a larger effect than you realize.
Hugs can have a measurable impact on mood and stress after social conflict, according to a paper published Wednesday in PLOS One. The gesture seemed to increase positive feelings and reduce negative ones on days when people experienced relationship problems, the study found.
“A very simple, straightforward behavior — hugging — might be an effective way of supporting both men and women who are experiencing conflict in their relationships,” explains co-author Michael Murphy, a post-doctoral researcher in Carnegie Mellon University’s Laboratory for the Study of Stress, Immunity and Disease.
For the study, Murphy and his colleagues interviewed 404 adults by phone every night for two weeks. Each person was asked about their mood, whether they had experienced conflict and if they had received a hug that day, among other questions. Each person also went through a physical exam and filled out a questionnaire about their health and social network at the beginning of the study.
Hugs, the researchers found, were associated with an uptick in positive mood markers and a reduction in negative ones; the opposite was true of relationship conflict. And on days when both occurred, people tended to report fewer negative feelings and more positive ones than on days when they experienced conflict but no hugs.
That trend was true regardless of gender, age, race, marital status, overall number of social interactions and average mood. It even carried over into the next day, although the drop in negative feelings was more pronounced on the second day than the increase in positive ones.
It stands to reason that social support would make somebody feel better in the throes of a stressful situation, but Murphy says there’s conflicting evidence in this area. On one hand, studies have found that people who perceive their social networks to be loving and supportive tend to fare better under stress. But, paradoxically, other studies have found that when people actually receive social support from friends or family members, it can make matters worse. This may be because people revert to counterproductive behaviors — like giving unsolicited advice, or jumping straight into problem-solving — when they try to support their loved ones, unintentionally making them feel incompetent or criticized, Murphy says.
More implicit shows of support, such as physical touch or doing someone a favor, might be better because they “make people feel like they’re cared about, that they have someone who’s there for them, but that doesn’t make any judgments,” Murphy says. And hugs might have a leg up even in this category: Research also suggests that physical touch can prompt beneficial physiological changes, such as reductions in stress-related brain and heart activity and the release of the mood-enhancing hormone oxytocin, Murphy says.
Of course, some people don’t like to be hugged, and even for touchy-feely folks, responses likely vary depending on who the hug comes from. Murphy’s study didn’t examine how distinctions like these affect people’s reactions to hugging, but he says he and his colleagues are working on another study that will include more granular questions, like whether the hug was explicitly wanted and who gave it.
Even though the current results are preliminary, Murphy says they provide a compelling reason to reach out, literally, to loved ones who may be struggling.
“Hugs, at least among close others, might be a simple, straightforward, effective way to show support to someone you care about who is experiencing conflict with a relationship in their life,” Murphy says.
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Low Self-Esteem Connected To Greater Risk For Opioid Use
From Science Daily:
Health, family and romance problems appear to be the particular life stressors most associated with increased risk for using opioids to cope, and individuals with low self-esteem appear to be at risk for these connections, according to a new paper including researchers at Binghamton University, State University at New York.
The research team, which included Binghamton University graduate student Damla Aksen, surveyed 1,000-plus adults about five life stressors, self-esteem and indications of opioid use. Examining the data, they found that poor self-esteem was associated with high opioid use and that poor self-esteem was a significant mediator between each life stressor (health, family, romance) and increased risk for opioid use.
“Although we cannot make conclusions about underlying physiology from our present study, past research indicates that individuals who experience social rejection are at increased risk for low self-esteem and depression, with reduced serotonin and dopamine functioning in their brains,” said Aksen. “Because opioids increase the effects of dopamine and serotonin in the brain, consuming them provides a rapid and powerful change in the neurochemistry underlying depression and the low self-esteem that it often includes. In other words, opioids may serve as self-medication in response to social stressors and its cascade of negative consequences.”
Because health, family or romance stressors appear to be associated with an increased risk for opioid abuse, individuals who use opioids could seek services and programs that help them learn how to cope with these particular stressors, said Aksen. They could also seek counselors and services that guide them to manage stress and improve their self-esteem with other research-documented coping strategies, such as exercise, social support, and altruism. She also noted that professionals working with individuals who use opioids could also be mindful of the risk factors that contribute to opioid abuse and educate these individuals about the life stressors that contribute to vulnerability for opioid abuse.
“Results from this new study suggest that one-size-does-not-fit-all when it comes to the particular life stressors that increase an individual’s risk for opioid abuse,” said Aksen.
The present sample included mostly individuals with a White ethnic identity and high incomes, so future research should examine these patterns with more diverse samples, wrote the researchers.
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Family And Friends
The problems that arise when family and friends are substance users can be overwhelming. There are so many areas in which life is difficult and painful, and downright unmanageable. Reach Out Recovery helps you find answers to your questions and solutions for the issues that plague you. Think of us like the public library where information is free, and all in one place. What could be better? All you have to do is browse the menu below to find what you’re looking for. There are plenty of resources and answers here, so take your time to explore the subjects that interest you. If you have a specific question click on the magnifying glass and start your search. 
You’re Not Alone This Disease Affects 120 Million People
You may be surprised to learn that the effects of substance use are far-reaching and can affect you in many ways. Behaviors like abuse, manipulation, lying, arguing, gaslighting, and stealing destroy family relationships. Financial destruction from substance purchases or revolving door treatments put whole families at risk, as well as unemployment, legal problems stemming from DUIs, and even jail time. Addiction, now defined as Substance Use and Behavior Use Disorders, is a family disease that affects generations whether the loved one is currently using or not.
Reach Out Recovery Content
Forget the endless Internet searches for reliable information. You can find it all here. Below is an image of our menu which you can access where you see the three bars. The Recovery Daily is our newspaper with five categories updated regularly. Recovery Answers is the latest research from the Recovery Research Institute at Harvard. Teen Health gives you facts and tips on what to do in all kinds of difficult parenting situations. In Substances you can find descriptions of dozens of substances and their effects.
Recovery Topics lets you explore subjects related to addiction and recovery with over 500 original articles that link to each other as well as outside resources. These topics bring awareness and solutions to difficult and confusing problems and have brought insight to millions of people.
And let us not forget the ROR shop. Here you’ll see unique gifts to grow your recovery you won’t find anywhere else.
Who Is Reach Out Recovery?
We are real people who have overcome various different addictions. Through recovery, we got our lives back, and now we want to help you. By trade, we are writers and creatives. We search for the latest recovery tips, facts, and tools. Then we translate that information for you in the simplest terms even a fourth grader can understand.
We are not therapists or a treatment center. We will not track you down and stage an intervention. When you browse our website, you are safe. Thanks to recovery, we have restored relationships, peace, and serenity. We simply want to share our strength, hope, and experience with you.
Connect On Facebook
We also have a fabulous Facebook page that is updated daily. We post links to our new articles, inspirational quotes, some fun memes, and heartwarming videos. It’s a respite from the dirt and grime of everyday life, and it’s a great place to find other people who have been through similar problems.
Where To Start On Reach Out Recovery
Many of our visitors begin in one of these popular categories:
Abuse
Adult Children Of Alcoholics
Boundaries
Codependency
Grief
Family
Relationships
Reach Out Recovery is best known for our original content, and our top articles have been read by millions. If you’re not sure where to go, this list of our top ten is a great place to start:
Ten Ways To Break The Narcissist’s Spell
Six Relationship Red Flags
25 Lasting Effects Of Childhood Emotional Abuse
Not Prepared For Son’s Life After Overdose
Gaslighting Tango
Excuses That Keep You Caged
Ten Signs Of Dysfunctional Families
Seven Sneaky Ways You May Be Abused
Six Ways To Know The Ones You Love Don’t Love You Back
Toxic Family Dynamic
Whether you have a family crisis right now, want to learn more about addiction, or are just researching for a “friend,” you are right where you need to be. Welcome.
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Can Compassion Be Trained
According to researchers, the real test of whether compassion could be trained was to see if people would be willing to be more altruistic towards strangers. The research tested this by asking the participants to play an Internet game called the “Redistribution Game” in which they were given the opportunity to spend their own money to respond to someone in need.
Participants played the Redistribution Game with two anonymous players: one was called the “Dictator” and the other the “Victim.” Players watched as the Dictator shared an unfair amount of money (only $1 out of $10) with the Victim. Then, they decided how much of their own money to spend (out of $5) in order to equalize the unfair split and redistribute funds from the Dictator to the Victim.
“We found that people trained in compassion were more likely to spend their own money altruistically to help someone who was treated unfairly than those who were trained in cognitive reappraisal,” Weng says. “We wanted to see what changed inside the brains of people who gave more to someone in need. How are they responding to suffering differently now?” asks Weng.
Compassion Training Reshapes the Brain
The study showed changes in brain structure of compassion meditation participants. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) before and after training. In the fMRI scanner, participants viewed images depicting human suffering, such as a crying child or a burn victim, and generated feelings of compassion towards the people using their practiced skills. The control group was exposed to the same images in the fMRI, and were asked to recast the images in a more positive light using cognitive reappraisal.
The researchers measured how much brain activity had changed from the beginning to the end of the training, and found that the people who were the most altruistic after compassion training were the ones who showed the most brain changes when viewing human suffering. In particular, they found that activity was increased in the inferior parietal cortex, a region involved in empathy and understanding others.
Compassion training also increased activity in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the extent to which it communicated with the nucleus accumbens, brain regions involved in emotion regulation and positive emotions.
From Psychology Today by Christopher Bergland
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Who Needs A Weekend Of Recovery Workout
When one gets invited to attend a weekend of workouts at a gorgeous resort in the Arizona desert with a bunch of other fitness fanatics and top trainers, one gives a resounding, “Hell, yes.” That’s precisely what I said when I was invited to the Michelob Ultra FitFest last month—except, before I could even throw my running shoes in a bag, I knew I had one big problem. I was totally burned out.
As a health writer with a busy workout schedule and a looming half marathon approaching, I had been pushing myself harder than usual, squeezing in miles and strength training classes until I crashed, too tired to even go to a restorative yoga class on the weekend even though my body was begging for it. The trio of foam rollers in the corner of my room was gathering dust.
The idea of spending a weekend doing four-a-day boot-camp classes was giving me some anxiety. I knew what my body really needed was some time for recovery. So, I switched up my schedule to focus on balance. Here’s what I learned about just how badly I needed it. (Related: The Best Workout Recovery Method for Your Schedule)
Why Workout Recovery Is So Important
Recovery days—think: yin yoga, foam rolling, slowing your pace to go for a walk instead of a run—are just as important as workout days, says Alissa Rumsey, C.S.C.S., R.D., a personal trainer and nutritionist in New York. In case you need a refresher, “rest days give your muscles and connective tissue time to rebuild between workouts,” explains Rumsey. “If you aren’t taking enough time for recovery, then you’ll continue to break down your muscles and won’t see benefits from your workouts.” (P.S. This Is What Your Ultimate Recovery Day Should Look Like)
Rest and recovery days are also key to helping you prevent injuries—something I was starting to worry about as my hips had recently taken to aching on long runs. “If you aren’t allowing time for your body to recover between workouts, you are more likely to develop an injury. Plus, too much exercise and not enough rest can also cause sleep disturbances, an impaired immune system, and mental fatigue,” says Rumsey.
Yeah, I definitely needed a couple of recovery days. So, instead of the HIIT and dance cardio classes I had planned to pack in that weekend, I booked only two classes—yoga for both mornings—and filled the rest of my schedule with foam rolling clinics, balance and stability training, and plenty of downtime to lounge by the pool and hike the surrounding desert trails.
Work Hard, Recover Harder
Almost immediately, I realized my weekend of recovery was going to be way harder than I thought. Surrounded by fitness influencers and fellow health nuts, all anyone wanted to do was compare schedules: Are you taking Shawn Booth’s Boothcamp? How about the City Surf class? How many cycling classes are you signed up for? While everyone else was busy sweating it out, I was going to be feeling lazy by the pool.
But no sooner had my weekend of recovery started than I knew I’d definitely made the right decision. Instead of getting up and going for a run first thing in the morning (my usual routine that’s lately been leaving me feeling achy and drained by lunch), I went for a slow and steady sunrise hike instead, feeling awake and revitalized by the time I arrived at a.m. yoga.
After a particularly juicy yoga class in which I realized just how sore and stiff every single muscle in my body had been, I went in for balance and stability training. There, Polly de Mille, an exercise physiologist and the clinical supervisor of the Tisch Sports Performance Center at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York, had me kick off my tennis shoes and do simple balance exercises to assess where I might be opening myself up to running injuries, giving me simple moves to build up my stability. Next up, an hour-long foam rolling clinic where de Mille had us plop down on mats and roll through every muscle group section by excruciatingly good section. (Want your own master class? Here’s how to foam roll your entire body.) Walking out, I felt like I’d literally been given a new body—the kind of wrung-out bliss you feel after a day spent at the spa.
Afterward, I took a nap—yes, a nap—before heading to the pool for some gentle laps. By dinner, as everyone recounted tales of their super-intense days and compared sore muscles, I barely felt like I’d missed out at all.
What I Learned About Prioritizing Recovery
When I’d first planned my recovery weekend schedule, I felt like I’d be doing nothing all weekend. But by the time I was on the plane home, I realized I’d done so much for my body.
After just two measly days focusing on recovery, I felt like my body was screaming “Thank you!” My muscles were a little sore from the yoga and hiking but not in pain, my flexibility and mobility had noticeably improved, and when I woke up (feeling well-rested before my 7 a.m. alarm even went off, I might add), I felt fresher than I had in months, without a hint of stiffness and barely a creaky joint.
The feeling made me realize just how off-balance I’d let my routine get. Since I won’t be heading off on a yoga retreat every weekend (if only…), I needed to bring that balance back into my weekly routine by prioritizing active recovery and rest days. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, but I’ve started by dusting off my foam roller. At the suggestion of de Mille, I’ve started carving out 15 minutes before my morning run to roll—a habit that’s helping me feel less sore post-run. Taking that extra time means cutting my morning miles a little short but that’s okay—my body deserves it.
By Macaela MackenzieFrom Shape
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October 2, 2018
Behavior, Honesty, Drinking, Partisanship
Three issues are driving the country particularly insane this week: Behavior Under The Influence, Honesty, and Partisanship. Depending on whether you are male or female you probably have different takes on what issue is most important to you. As a woman, I can identify with the concerns of men about what they do under the influence and whether they should get a pass or not. I can identify but don’t believe boys are not responsible for what they do at every age and every circumstance. White males under the influence have long been given a pass, and that’s something to think about no matter who you are. But behavior under the influence is only part of the equation of rage right now. How do we determine what matters most? Let’s unpack the three issues.
Behavior As The Main Issue
For millions of women, the debate about male behavior under the influence have triggered nightmares, questioning and rethinking about what happened to them in their college years. Partisanship plays a part here, too. What was better for men ruled. Most of us were silent when assault or sexual exploitation happened to us, either in high school, college, or in the workplace.
Many women can’t speak about what they did or did not, or could not do to stop it even decades later. We were well behaved. Some of us admired our assaulters and didn’t want them to get in trouble. And let’s face it, our dads would have gotten mad, and not at us. Those millions of women are thinking about it, and hurting in a whole new way. If you are triggered by the question of sexual assault under the influence right now, you may care most about not giving a pass to those who who have behaved badly.
Honesty As The Main Issue
If you’re not concerned about what happened in college or law school so long ago and don’t want to take sides about that, you may be concerned about honesty. Is someone you want to trust and believe in not telling the truth? Is that something you care about? Do you care about integrity of the people in power? Decent people usually care about truth telling. Honesty. If I tell you something, you can believe me now and in the future. I don’t lie about anything even if telling the truth makes me look bad.
But what if I don’t tell the truth about a lot of things, both big and small, and my lies can be proven? Do you still respect me? Do you want to know me? Would you be comfortable lending me money, or giving me a job? Would you trust your children with me? I don’t think I could get a job as anything much if proven a liar. Honesty really matters to some people. And that issue even beyond facts might matter the most.
Drinking As A Core Issue
I’m throwing drinking in here in part because I believe alcohol and its woes are the core issue in the debate right now. I’ve said it a million times. When you mix alcohol with humans, you will get bad behavior, lies and regrets. But sometimes you don’t get any regrets. No regrets reveals a lack of integrity. I’ll admit my drinking days. I used to think drinking was great. I made jokes about needing a drink at 5PM. When the waiter came and asked me what I wanted to order, I used to say “one of each.” I didn’t mean it because I could only have one and a half drinks before I got really tipsy. When I had a buzz, I would say, “I’m drunk.”
I have driven under the influence. I have gotten loud and partisan. I’ve lost my cool. Once, the day before I was to receive a lifetime achievement award, I went to a Renaissance Fair and had two plastic cups of what I thought was punch. I passed out in my roast beef and mashed potatoes. It was the only time I got really drunk, and it was the end. I remember the colleagues to who carried me to the bus after the jousting. I remember how they filled their napkins with dinner rolls to get me to eat something so I could go to the ceremony the next day. I remember the room spinning and feeling sick all night. I remember my shame at not paying attention and getting that drunk. I do not remember winning the award. Now I drink Arnold Palmers because I like golf, and lemonade. Coffee, tea. I do not deny how I used to be. But I know alcohol did not make me the best person I could be.
Partisanship As The Main Issue
Political partisanship may be your only concern this week. If this is the case you will pick and choose which theory to back and which tune to sing according to your own belief system and identity. We get it. You love your people. Partisanship is picking and choosing about what matters only according to how the end result will affect your political identity and not necessarily according to critical thinking. If your guy stands to lose because of an issue related to your core values, shouldn’t you do real thinking about what that means. Can you think for yourself. I try to be objective, and of course it’s not always easy. For me objectivity means integrity and honesty and fairness on both sides that matter the most. When those values are compromised, nothing else matters.
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