Leslie Glass's Blog, page 315

Stigma Breaker Carrie Fisher

The actress spoke out on mental illness many times during her life ― something almost unheard of in Hollywood at the time she began sharing publicly.

She gave honest testimonies of the trials and triumphs of battling addiction and bipolar disorder, displaying a no-holds-barred attitude when it comes to discussing the realities of mental health conditions.

We want to salute the original Princess Leia for her groundbreaking stance on mental health in the public eye. Below are few times Fisher stood up against stigma:

When she owned what was happening with her mental health.

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“I have a chemical imbalance that, in its most extreme state, will lead me to a mental hospital … I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I’m still surviving it, but bring it on.”

The time she had this great response to being called the “poster child” of bipolar disorder.

“Well, I am hoping to get the centerfold in Psychology Today. … Now, it seems every show I watch there’s always someone bipolar in it! It’s going through the vernacular like ‘May the force be with you’ did. But I define it, rather than it defining me.”

When she offered sound advice on pursuing dreams despite mental illness.

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”Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”

The time she got real about how it feels to go through manic episodes.

“You can’t stop. It’s very painful. It’s raw. You know, it’s rough … your bones burn … when you’re not busy talking and trying to drown it out.”

When she explained the only real way to manage a mental health condition.

“The only lesson for me, or for anybody, is that you have to get help. It’s not a neat illness. It doesn’t go away.”

And finally, when she shut down the shamers by explaining just how strong you have to be to deal with a mental health condition.

”One of the things that baffles me (and there are quite a few) is how there can be so much lingering stigma with regards to mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In my opinion, living with manic depression takes a tremendous amount of balls. … At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.”

Nailed it.

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How Does Suboxone Work?

Is Suboxone a helpful product to get off drugs like Heroin, or is it just another party favor? The truth is, it can be both.

What Is Suboxone And How Does It Work?

Suboxone actually can be two products. It is a detox medication used to treat opiate addiction and dependence. It is a combination product that has Buprenorphine and Naloxone (Narcan). Buprenorphine is an opioid that reportedly doesn’t provide the intense euphoria addicts love and want. Naloxone is also known as Narcan which is used to rapidly reverse an adverse drug reaction; it is used to instantly reverse a potential overdose. Narcan is used in the ER but is now becoming available to people who feel they might need it to save their loved ones from an overdose of drugs.

The benefit of Suboxone for recovery is that the components of Buprenorphine and Naloxone allow addicts to avoid the withdrawal pains but not experience the high of the opiate. It is taken as a slip of medication (think of those breath slips of Listerine) that you dissolve on the tongue. The Buprenorphine gets into the blood system immediately via the vascularity in the oral area while the Naloxone hangs around and dissolves in portions (and thus prevents the “high”). Suboxone is an effective maintenance for getting off heroin if the person is legitimate about getting off Heroin, and in this manner it works like Methadone does. Suboxone isn’t addictive (due to the Narcan component) and is difficult to abuse (also due to the Narcan component).

The signs and symptoms of Heroin withdrawal are seen when it’s time for another dose of Suboxone and include:

Cold sweats
Body aches
Bone and muscle aches (flu-like symptoms)
Yawning
Sneezing
Gastrointestinal symptoms of nausea and vomiting and diarrhea
Anxiety and intense scratching.

However, the signs and symptoms associated with Suboxone include headaches, insomnia, abdominal pain, nausea and constipation, and some sweating.

So people who are misusing or addicted like to use Suboxone to get them through until they can get what they want. While Heroin has more withdrawal symptoms it supposedly is a “better” high and so worth it to the addict who wants the drug high.

Even more preferred is Subutex. This is a formulation of pure Buprenorphine, is more pure and doesn’t have the Narcan mixed in it, so they will get that high they want.

Methadone vs. Suboxone:

You have to go regularly to a Methadone Clinic with all that entails: inconvenience, cost, associated clientele, and potential not to get your drug if your drug screen is positive for drugs you shouldn’t be taking.
Any physician can work in and/or run a Methadone Clinic.
Methadone is a full agonist which means that its effects for that “buzz” and overdose potential are strong.
Methadone began in Belgium and the Netherlands.
You go to a physician who is able to prescribe Suboxone and get a prescription for the medication. But the Suboxone Clinics charge a fee (not cheap) for the first visit and each successive visit. There are drug screens and many physicians require the patient to also go through regular counseling and attend NA.
A physician who wants to prescribe Suboxone must go through an approved training process that used to involve several days of classroom time but now can be done online. Each prescribing physician can only treat 100 patients, so once they reach 100 they can’t take another patient until one drops off the panel.
Suboxone is a partial opioid agonist.
Buprenorphine began in Belgium in 1983 as a treatment for opioid addiction then moved to France and finally the USA in 2003.
While most people who want Suboxone genuinely want to get “sober” it can be expensive to go the legal route and many buy it on the street so they can afford it as the neighborhood drug dealer won’t charge for the office visits or require counseling or an NA membership.
Neither Methadone nor Suboxone is supposed to be a long term usage medication but both have ended up being just that.

So Where Does That Leave Us?

Those who want to do drugs will always find a way to get their drug of choice but sometimes they have to settle for plan B, and Suboxone has been that for many people addicted to whatever they can get. We all know that. Suboxone is no different and is bought, bartered, sold illegally and obtained legally from doctors who are able to prescribe it.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way is the moral of the story here. And while these products are used for “bridging” (getting the addict off their drug of choice slowly) it’s still a crutch. While you are learning to walk again and crutch or cane or walker can come in handy and may be helpful. However, at some point you have to take the training wheels off and ride off into the sunset on your own power. That said, there are some who take Suboxone for a long time and seem to do well on it. Everybody’s different.

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10 Ways To Break The Narcissist’s Spell

What is a narcissist, you might ask. Are you controlled by one? Narcissists are the most confusing (and dangerous) people on earth. If they are toxic or malignant narcissists, they take control and rob you of your independence in every way. Don’t confuse a garden variety selfish person with a full on narcissist or sociopath.

See it coming and run for the hills. What’s difficult to assess in the beginning is that narcissists can seem super nice and generous and caring. Then slowly things begin to change as their masks slip and they morph into the black hole of need, of demand, of criticism. And the list goes on. Until you’re walking through a minefield, trying not to be punished for offending.

A narcissist will commonly choose someone raised to be co-dependent as prey. Co-dependent people tend to be nice, sweet, reasonable, eager to please. They can be taken in because they don’t see what’s coming and don’t believe people can be toxic for no reason. Most people don’t know how to defend ourselves against a chronic malicious controller. They just can’t see the hurt coming and, over time, they are destructively conditioned to take more and more of it until they are tiptoeing through a mine field, fearful that they are the crazy ones. A narcissist will take control by any means at hand. Let us count 10 common ways:

1. Gaslighting

We’ve written a lot about gaslighting a lot, and how destructive it is. This is not an official psychological term. When you are gaslighted, you feel uncomfortable and know something toxic has occurred, but the narcissist in your life tells you: “That didn’t happen. You imagined it. You’re crazy.” In a nutshell you’re lied to and that makes you doubt yourself. Gaslighting may be the most insidious manipulative tactic. A steady diet of doubting your ability to tell it like it really is alters your sense of reality. Your self-doubt eats away at your ability to trust yourself, and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in labeling and calling out abuse and mistreatment.

Solution: Write events down so you have a record later. Have a trusted group of friends and relations you can share information with who can validate what really happened, so you are grounded in reality. Your reality is sacred and needs respect. Note, telling and discussing what’s happening to you with others who love you is different from triangulation, which is using others to cause conflict. Best case scenario, get away from people who gaslight you. If they’re family members, limit their access to you.

2. Projecting Negative Feelings On You

Projection is a defense mechanism narcissists use to displace responsibility of their negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else. Narcissists cannot bear to think of themselves as bad, responsible for anything, angry, or difficult. Narcissists are constantly projecting feelings that they cannot tolerate outward to others rather than turning inward. They can’t admit or own up to what they have done. The narcissist creates his own world. Everything revolves around him/her. He believes that he is the initiator and master of his personal and professional domain. Everyone else has a role and that is of serving him and his specific purposes.

“You’re mad. You’re sulking, and you’re ruining my day…” are things they say to keep you off center. Projection is when narcissists dump their own traits on unsuspecting suspects. Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order, narcissists expect others to take responsibility for their bad behavior and feel ashamed. “I’m sorry. I love you,” is the response they want. This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame they have about themselves onto another.

Solution: Detach. Detach, and detach. Feeling sorry for them and trying to deny the charge, or explain yourself, only opens the way to further manipulation. Narcissists rarely have an interest in self-insight or change. It’s important to cut ties and end interactions with toxic people as soon as possible so you don’t lose your own identity and independence of thought.

3. Creating Word Salad Conflicts

Narcissists thrive on conflict. If you ever disagree with a narcissist, want something different, or challenge them in any way, expect a word salad. These consist of circular conversations, arguments, projection, and gaslighting to disorient you and get you off track.

Word salads and nonsensical conversations often erupt into arguments and are used to discredit, confuse, and frustrate you. The goal is to distract you from the main problem and make you feel guilty for having independent thoughts, opinions, and feelings that might differ from their own. In the eyes of a narcissist, you are the problem if you happen to exist and disagree in any way.

Solution: When conversations go in a circle, or become nonsensical, don’t get frustrated. Frustration or anger is what a narcissist wants. Change the subject, or walk away. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” will set a boundary. Boundary setting is crucial for people you want to keep in your life.

4. Nitpicking and Game Changing

Did you already fulfill someone’s need to be excessively catered to? Are you dressing for them cooking for them, working on yourself constantly to always be in a good mood, to be lovable and worthy? Now it’s time for a narcissist change what’s required. Little things you already corrected will need tweaking. New goals are set. Constant criticism of things you do that used to be praised puts you into a confused and anxious state. There’s no point to the new demands or criticism except for you to work harder for narcissist’s approval and validation.

By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and focusing on it, narcissists divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead. They get you thinking about the next expectation of theirs you’re going to have to meet – until eventually you’re always bent over backwards trying to fulfill their every need – only to realize they will never be satisfied.

Solution: Don’t get sucked into the conversation about whatever you’ve done wrong. Stop the tape. Disengage by taking a break. Acknowledge to yourself this is nonsense. Your opinion matters. If you are asking yourself, “Am I crazy” several times a day: Detach, detach, detach.

5. Misrepresenting Your Thoughts, Opinions, and Feelings

Your toxic narcissist is a mind reader. Toxic people often presume they know what you’re thinking and feeling, and it’s never good. Their own triggers drive their reactions, so they never evaluate what’s really happening. They put words in your mouth, depict you as having a bad intention or toxic view you don’t have. They accuse you of thinking of them as toxic – even before you’ve gotten the chance to call them out on their behavior – and this also serves as a form of preemptive defense.

Narcissists reframe what you’re saying to make your opinions look absurd. Let’s say you bring up the fact that you’re unhappy with the way a toxic friend is speaking to you. In response, he or she may put words in your mouth, saying, “Oh, so now you’re perfect?” or “So I’m the bad one,” when you’ve done nothing but express your feelings. This enables them to take away your right to have thoughts and emotions about their inappropriate behavior and instills in you a sense of guilt when you attempt to establish boundaries.

Solution: Simply stating, “I never said that,” and walking away can help to set a firm boundary in this type of interaction. As long as the narcissist’s smokescreen and blame-shifting to you works the focus is off their own behavior, they have succeeded in convincing you that you should be “shamed” for giving them any sort of realistic feedback.

6. Changing The Subject

This is another smokescreen tactic. This one diverts a conversation about what a narcissist did, or does, in another direction. Often the redirect lands on one of your weaknesses. Narcissists don’t want you to on hold them accountable for anything. Complaining about their behavior? They’ll point out a mistake you committed seven years ago. This type of diversion has no limits in terms of time or subject content, and often begins with a sentence like “What about the time when…”

Solution: Diversions need to be redirected back to the original subject. “That’s not what I am talking about. Let’s stay focused on the real issue.” If the broken record continues to focus on you, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive – like not having a debate with someone who has the mental age of a toddler.

7. Smearing and Stalking

Toxic narcissists will slander you and report back to your loved ones, their loved ones, and anyone who will listen. They create stories that depict you as abusive and pretend they are the victims of your abuse. They claim that you engage in the behaviors that they don’t want you to accuse them of. Even worse, they deliberately abuse you so they can use your angry reactions against you.

A smear campaign sabotages your reputation and slanders your name so that you won’t have a support network to fall back on if you decide to detach and cut ties. A malignant narcissist may even stalk and harass you or the people you know as a way to “expose” the truth about you. Smearing you hides their own abusive behavior while projecting it onto you.

Solution: Get help. Seriously. Don’t wait until this goes too far. This is more than hurtful. Stick to the facts and don’t react when you’re an object of a smear campaign. In high-conflict divorces narcissists will use your reactions to their provocations against you. Document any form of harassment, cyberbullying or stalking incidents, and always speak to your narcissist through a lawyer whenever possible. Find a therapist and a lawyer familiar with Narcissistic Personality Disorder if necessary.

8. Triangulating

Triangulation is bringing the opinion, perspective or threat of another person, or other people, into the relationship dynamic. Malignant narcissists love to triangulate their significant other with strangers, co-workers, ex-partners, friends and even family members to bolster their claims about you. “Everyone knows what you do to me.” When a narcissist changes the story so that you appear the aggressor, it validates the toxic person’s abuse. At the same time, it invalidates your reaction to abuse. Triangulation puts you on the defensive and makes it difficult for others to know what’s really going on. If you try to defend yourself too vigorously, that may also validate the other person’s claims.

Triangulation can also create love triangles that leave you on the outside feeling unhinged and insecure. They also use the opinions of others (that they have influenced) to validate their point of view.

This is a diversionary tactic meant to pull your attention away from their abusive behavior and into a false image of them as a desirable, sought after person. It also leaves you questioning yourself – if Mary did agree with Tom, doesn’t that mean that you must be wrong? The truth is, narcissists love to “report back” falsehoods about others say about you, when in fact, they are the ones smearing you.

Solution: To resist triangulation tactics, realize that whoever the narcissist is triangulating with is also being triangulated by your relationship with the narcissist as well. Everyone is essentially being played by this one person. Reverse “triangulate” the narcissist by gaining support from a third party that is not under the narcissist’s influence – and also by seeking your own validation.

9. Preemptive Defense Posturing

Preemptive defense is setting up a false nice guy front. Narcissists paint themselves in glowing terms all the time, stressing qualities they don’t have. “I’m a nice person.” Or, “I’m too nice. Or “You can trust me…I really care about people. I would never hurt you, or anyone.” There’s no basis in fact for these assertions.

Toxic and abusive people overstate their ability to be kind and compassionate. They often tell you that you should “trust” them without first building a solid foundation of trust. When you see their false mask begin to slip periodically during the devaluation phase of the abuse cycle, the true self is revealed to be terrifyingly cold, callous and contemptuous.

Solution: To counter a preemptive defense, reevaluate why a person may be emphasizing their good qualities. Is it because they think you don’t trust them, or because they know you shouldn’t? Trust actions more than words and see how someone’s actions reveal who they really are.

10. Bait and Sugarcoating

Toxic individuals love to mess with you. A simple comment may bait you into responding politely initially, but by the third jab it’s hard not to react. Then the narcissist feigns innocence. They use your insecurities maliciously to provoke you. After you’ve fallen for it, hook line and sinker, they’ll stand back and innocently ask whether you’re “okay” and talk about how they didn’t “mean” to agitate you. This faux innocence works to catch you off guard and make you believe that they truly didn’t intend to hurt you, until it happens so often you can’t deny the reality of their malice any longer.

Solution: Remember you’re being baited so you can avoid engaging altogether. Provocative statements, name-calling, hurtful accusations or unsupported generalizations, for example, are common baiting tactics. Your gut instinct can also tell you when you’re being baited. Feeling bad about what another is saying and expounding on is a red flag for you to get some space and detach.

The control that narcissists have over their victims is no joking matter. Become aware and take steps to take care of yourself. You may need help getting away and healing. If you are deeply embroiled and there are children involved, or if you don’t feel safe, find legal and other help to protect you.

The post 10 Ways To Break The Narcissist’s Spell appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Neuroscientist Thinks One Way To Fight Opioid Addiction Is To Tackle Loneliness

From The Washington Post:

Feeling lonely? Social isolation isn’t just bad for your mood — it can be bad for your health, too. And in a TEDxMidAtlantic talk, Rachel Wurzman says it contributes to opioid addiction — fueling drug use, relapses and overdoses.

Wurzman, a neuroscientist, says she thinks there is a way to make recovery from opioid addiction easier: social connection. That idea is informed by her work with the striatum, a region at the base of the forebrain that helps enable decision-making and is dramatically affected by social connection.

Called the brain’s autopilot, the striatum can also trigger compulsive behaviors, such as repeated drug use. Social isolation leaves the striatum in a hypersensitive state, she says, one in which people are more likely to chase a quick reward. The brain can translate loneliness into literal pain, says Wurzman, and that can have disastrous consequences.

“If we don’t have the ability to connect socially, we are so ravenous for our social neurochemistry to be rebalanced, we’re likely to seek relief from anywhere,” she says. “And if that anywhere is opioid painkillers or heroin, it is going to be a heat-seeking missile for our social reward system.”

But Wurzman says she sees hope in the very brain region that can fuel addiction. By connecting with other people over and over again, she says, people with opioid-use disorders can reduce their compulsive behaviors and their chance of relapse or overdose. This change relies on neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to rewire itself when new behaviors are practiced again and again.

Wurzman’s talk is passionate and personal, and reminds viewers not to avoid or stigmatize people who struggle with addiction. Her 18-minute talk necessarily simplifies the biology and the larger physical, psychological and societal issues at hand. Isolation is just one of the many factors that play into addiction — but it’s a problem worth tackling.

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7 Health Risks of Binge Drinking You Can’t Ignore

From US News and World Report:

When it comes to alcohol, do you know your limits?

If your glass of wine at dinner regularly turns into two or three, you may want to ease up. More than 38 million U.S. adults binge drink – defined as five or more drinks for men and four-plus drinks for women within a two-hour period – about four times per month. “Binge drinking is a key public health problem when it comes to excessive alcohol abuse,” says Dr. Bob Brewer, epidemiologist and lead of the alcohol program in the division of adult and community health at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Consider these immediate and long-term health risks:

Heart disease

Maybe it isn’t on your radar now, but heart disease is one health risk of binge drinking. Brewer says there’s a clear relationship between the amount of alcohol you consume and your blood pressure. Alcoholic cardiomyopathy – or the weakening of the heart muscles, which can lead to congestive heart failure – can even develop in 20- and 30-somethings as a result of binge drinking, according to Dr. Geoffrey Kane, chair of the medical scientific committee at the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence.

Cancer

Long-term binge drinking may also increase your risk for developing certain cancers, such as those of the mouth, esophagus, throat, liver and breast. “Alcohol is a known carcinogen for things in the head and neck area,” says Aaron White, senior scientific adviser to the director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. The National Institute of Health also reports that alcohol and tobacco in concert may be responsible for 80 percent of throat and mouth cancers in men and 65 percent of throat and mouth cancers in women.

Brain damage

Alcohol is known to impair speech, slow reaction time, blur vision and even make walking difficult after a few drinks. Binge drinking, however, can also have an insidious impact on the developing brain for years to come, White explains. “Because the brain is changing, alcohol can theoretically interact with those changes. These could be effects that impact the brain function in significant ways,” he says, adding that the brain of a person in their 20s is especially vulnerable to long-term memory loss and an inability to learn new skills.

Alcohol use disorder

“Alcohol is a mood-changing substance that promotes dopamine release,” says Kane, who’s also chief of addiction services at the Brattleboro Retreat in Vermont. People with risk factors such as childhood trauma, mental illness and family violence have a greater chance of developing an alcohol use disorder – often referred to as alcoholism – or an addiction. According to the Mayo Clinic, signs of a disorder include problems controlling drinking, a fixation with alcohol, continuous use despite negative mental and physical effects and signs of withdrawal when attempting to quit. “Statistically, the earlier a person starts binge drinking, the greater the likelihood of them developing an alcohol use disorder,” White says.

Pregnancy and STDs

Binge drinking can lead to impulsive and poor decisions when it comes to intimacy, White explains: “When you’re sober, you’d say, ‘Of course I’d use protection,’ but in the moment, it’s easy to make a poor choice.” Binge drinkers are also more likely to drink while pregnant. The CDC reports that about one-third of women who drink alcohol during pregnancy binge drink, despite warnings that even small amounts of alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome, leading to developmental, cognitive and behavioral problems. The syndrome can also cause children to have difficulties with coordination, controlling emotions, completing school work, socializing with peers and even holding a steady job later in life.

Alcohol poisoning

Would you recognize the symptoms of alcohol poisoning, which is caused by drinking large amounts in a short period? They include confusion, vomiting, seizures, slow or irregular breathing, a bluish or pale skin tone and unconsciousness. “This is a very preventable cause of death in binge drinking,” Brewer says, adding that alcohol poisoning was responsible for approximately 2,200 deaths each year, or six deaths per day, from 2010 to 2012. Most people who die from alcohol poisoning are white men ages 35 to 64, according to the CDC.

Injuries

Brewer says binge drinking greatly increases the risk of getting hurt or hurting others due to car crashes, drowning, violence and suicide. The CDC reports that binge drinking is responsible for 80,000 deaths in the U.S. each year. The more you drink, the greater the risk for injury or death, White says, adding that “your risk for injury is not zero with one drink. It goes up with each drink.” If you do choose to drink, do so in moderation.

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You’re in Recovery. What Should You Eat?

From US News:

IT WOULD SEEM LIKE A no-brainer that the foods you eat can affect your mood. It might also seem obvious that someone with a drug or alcohol problem would be the first to understand how substances they put into their body can affect their mental and physical health – but that isn’t always the case when it comes to healthy food and nutrition. Many people enter rehab with little to no knowledge about proper nutrition and how important it is to the treatment and recovery process.

Therefore, one of the most important components to look for in any prospective drug or alcohol rehab program should be the meal plans they offer and the foods they include in their daily menu. Here are some tips about nutrition during early recovery, as well as a sample rehab meal plan.

Foods That Are Good for Your Recovery

A well-balanced and diversified diet that is rich in whole foods from the five recommended food groups – fruits, vegetables, grains, proteins and dairy – is a good daily discipline to follow for anybody, not just those in recovery. (If you have intolerances to certain foods, such as dairy products, your diet may be more restricted.)

The point of emphasis here is on whole foods, as opposed to processed foods or fast foods. A whole food is any fruit, vegetable, grain, protein or dairy product that has not been artificially processed or modified from its original form. Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and ancient grains like quinoa and oats are good examples of whole foods.

While any whole food is good for your recovery, certain whole foods are especially good for early recovery because their nutrients can boost brain health and mood, alleviate some of the mental and physical symptoms of withdrawal, and speed the healing process. Some examples of whole foods that are often incorporated into a rehab plan of treatment include:

Whole foods that contain the amino acid tyrosine. Tyrosine is the precursor to the “feel good” neurotransmitter dopamine, which typically occurs at abnormally low levels in early recovery and is associated with low energy and motivation, apathy, a depressed mood and intense substance cravings. One way to naturally boost dopamine levels is to eat tyrosine-rich foods that will convert to dopamine during the digestion process. Examples of high-tyrosine foods include bananas, sunflower seeds, soybeans, lean beef, lamb, pork, whole grains and cheese.
Whole foods that are rich in L-glutamine. L-glutamine is an amino acid that offers immune and antioxidant benefits, among others. L-glutamine can help reduce sugar cravings, which can be common during early recovery. Research has linked sugar consumption to higher rates of anxiety, depression and inflammation, which can potentially hamper progress in a plan of addiction treatment. Dark, leafy greens like kale, spinach and parsley are great for boosting L-glutamine levels. Some other natural sources for this amino acid include beets, carrots, beans, Brussels sprouts, celery, papaya and protein-rich foods like beef, chicken, fish, dairy products and eggs.
Whole foods that are packed with antioxidants. Antioxidants help to rebuild your immune system in the aftermath of addiction-related damage and speed the body’s cleansing process during detox and withdrawal. Foods that are high in antioxidants include berries like blueberries and strawberries as well as leeks, onions, artichokes and pecans.
Whole foods that boost your levels of GABA, a neurotransmitter that promotes calm and relaxation. During early recovery, anxiety, restlessness and insomnia are very common symptoms that can often accompany withdrawal. Kefir (a fermented yogurt-like drink), shrimp and cherry tomatoes are some of the foods that can help alleviate and offset these symptoms by boosting GABA levels.
Whole foods that contain tryptophan, which can lift your levels of the “happy” neurotransmitter serotonin. Tryptophan is another essential amino acid in the body that is the precursor to serotonin – a neurotransmitter that at optimal levels promotes a positive, happy mood. It is found in a number of foods, including cheese, turkey, lamb, pork, tuna fish, oat bran and beans and lentils.

A Sample Rehab Meal Plan

A wide range of whole foods that can, in various ways, support recovery from a substance use disorder means there is virtually no end to the potential daily meal plan options available to people in substance abuse treatment. Here is just one sample rehab meal plan of many:

Breakfast: A fruit smoothie that combines protein powder, unsweetened Greek yogurt or kefir, oats, a banana, blueberries and unsweetened almond milk.

Morning snack: A piece of whole grain bread layered with peanut butter – ideally, the organic variety containing no refined sugar – and honey.

Lunch: A large plate of dark leafy greens, like spinach, topped with tuna or chicken salad.

Afternoon snack: A handful of nuts and sunflower seeds.

Dinner: Salmon, quinoa (or another whole grain), Brussels sprouts and a green salad topped with pecans and goat cheese.

There are multiple ways to cultivate a recovery-friendly diet that will support your end goal of lasting freedom from substance abuse. As long as you stick to fresh, whole foods, you can boost your nutrition and feel healthier throughout your recovery.

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My First AA Meeting

Family members of those in recovery don’t often think an AA meeting might be for them, too.  As a family member myself, I know the state of panic we feel when when our loved ones start their recovery journey, usually with a 12 Step Program.

The language of the 12 steps doesn’t make sense to us, and we don’t think the family might play a part in what’s happening. So why subject yourself to an AA or Alanon meeting?

It’s easier not to do the research

As a journalist and mystery writer, I was used to doing research. I knew all about addiction from the law enforcement side. My novels showed the kinds of crimes that could result from substance abuse. When my own loved one became addicted, however, I didn’t do the research. I was an educated person and, I thought, I was a good and caring Mom. I simply couldn’t believe that addiction (think crazy homeless people under the bridge and a lot worse) might happen to someone in my own family. It was unthinkable. I wasn’t attending any meetings to explore how I would feel, or what I would do if it got a lot worse. I just hoped and prayed it wouldn’t.

Addiction is scary

Addiction is so frightening that a parent or spouse or daughter or son can remain in denial for a long time, even forever.

Family members also tend to think if only their loved ones receive treatment, or stop using, life will return to normal.

The addiction dynamic, however, doesn’t go away simply because someone stops using. The causes and the wreckage of addiction need to be dealt with, too. The family needs to get involved, each in his or her own way.

My 12 Step Research

It was only after my loved ones went into recovery (for maybe the tenth time) that I began my own research and recovery journey. Whether my child recovered or not, this time I needed some help restoring my own life. I started by attending an open AA meeting. I wanted to know what it feels like to give up the thing you love most and then have to live in a world that’s all about drinking. It took me 15 years to be willing to learn.

My first AA meeting

I didn’t walk into a room full of strangers as I hoped I would. As a local person and a magazine writer, I knew people in that AA church group. They were surprised to see me. I hadn’t told anyone about addiction in my family, and I wasn’t known as a big drinker. What was I doing at AA?

I called it research

At that AA meeting I heard some interesting things, and wanted to know more. Wanting to know more is what journalists do. Things always occur to me when I visit prison, or when I attended to civilian police academy, or learned how to shoot a gun. At AA it occurred to me that not drinking myself might give me some more insight into the nature of addiction and sobriety. I also thought my not drinking might create a new bond between me and loved ones who were struggling with substance abuse.

Curiosity is a great thing

I took a chip to see what it would feel like and made a commitment not to have a martini or a glass of wine—well, maybe not forever, but for three months or so. Call me shallow, I also thought I might lose some weight. For me it was like giving something up for Lent. Except it was in August, and it has lasted for nine years on August 25, 2017. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but sobriety opened my eyes to the benefits of a different kind of life. Personal research brought me and my family together and taught us a new way of communicating. I’d say that was a benefit I wasn’t expecting.

That’s the message we want to send

Family members do sometimes attend AA meetings, but many have never been to one. For me, the encounter with AA led to an exploration of Al-Anon. There I learned a lot more about the addiction family dynamic and leading a healthier, happier life. And that’s how my passion for recovery education began.

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Why You Need A Doctor For Addiction Treatment

Imagine being told that you have a progressively debilitating and potentially fatal medical disorder. It’s widely recognized in the research community as a brain disease. Then you learn that physicians or other medical personnel will NOT be involved in the assessment, diagnosis, acute treatment, or continued monitoring of your condition. Even worse, imagine that many of the organizations who treat your disease have no affiliation with a hospital or other primary healthcare facility. If you’re lucky, you might hear of FDA-approved medications that specifically your condition, but that you won’t have access to these medications as part of your prescribed treatment.

These are precisely the circumstances encountered today by the majority of people entering addiction treatment in the U.S. There are more than 18,000 facilities in the United States that specialize in the assessment and treatment of substance use disorders. Surveys of these facilities reveal a low complement of physicians on staff. Nearly have of them have no physician availability. Many of the U.S.’s publicly funded addiction treatment programs lack physician services and access to pharmacotherapy.

Physicians Are The Missing Link In Addiction Treatment

Physicians are critically needed as part of the multidisciplinary teams involved in addiction treatment. Some of the more important functions they perform include:

Diagnosing the presence, severity, and complexity of substance use disorders, particularly in distinguishing these disorders from other medical and psychiatric conditions which may manifest as, be masked by, or be self-medicated by excessive alcohol and other drug use.
Diagnosing and treating acute medical and psychiatric conditions that result from or co-occur with substance use disorders—conditions that if left untreated pose a significant burden within the recovery process.
Assessing and addressing the physical and emotional toll addiction has exacted on family members.
Participating in, if not leading, development of a personalized plan for acute stabilization and a more comprehensive plan of sustained recovery management for the patient and family.
Evaluating the role medications could potentially play in detoxification, acute stabilization, and long-term recovery management.
Providing guidance on the management of chronic primary health care problems and promoting recovery-enhancing wellness activities, e.g., smoking cessation, diet, and exercise.
Educating patients and families on the addiction and recovery processes.
Supervising other members of the treatment team.
Providing regularly scheduled post-treatment recovery check-ups as part of the long-term recovery management plan.

Two Ways To Get Your Physician Involved

If you or a family member must enter treatment for a substance use disorder in a program that does not have physician services, I recommend the following two steps:

Involve your primary care physician (PCP) in the treatment process. Inform your PCP of the following: you are entering addiction treatment, you would like your PCP to be available for consultation regarding that treatment, you will provide your PCP copies of all records related to your treatment, and you would like your recovery status regularly evaluated through all future check-ups. If you do not have a primary care physician, make obtaining a PCP a priority as part of your treatment /recovery plan.
Consider engaging a physician trained in addiction medicine to consult in your overall treatment and to provide ongoing guidance following treatment discharge. It is recommended that such a physician be affiliated with the American Society of Addiction Medicine or the American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry. Addiction medicine specialists in your area can be identified by contacting these organizations.

Beyond these two suggestions, it’s critical that anyone seeking addiction treatment become an informed consumer. This requires seeking both experiential knowledge and empirical knowledge about addiction and recovery. The former can be obtained by talking to individuals and families who have successfully resolved alcohol and other drug problems. The latter can be obtained by reading the latest research findings about the critical ingredients of addiction treatment and recovery—research findings that have recently been translated for public consumption by the Recovery Research Institute, a nonprofit arm of Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School.

Each Person In Recovery Must Own His Or Her Recovery

A wide variety of professional and peer support services may be helpful along this journey, but the person in recovery must direct this process. He or she must assembling diverse consultants who can inform and assist this effort. Physicians and psychiatrists knowledgeable about addiction recovery and experienced in offering guidance through the recovery process can be important and even crucial resources within the recovery process. The challenge for America is to expand the number of physicians and psychiatrists who possess such knowledge and expertise. The challenge for organizations that make up the addiction treatment industry is to assure their staffing patterns match their rhetoric of addiction as a treatable medical disorder.

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The Happy Way Of Losing Weight

5 Dos and 5 Don’ts for mindfulness, happiness, and yes, weight loss.

The audacity to put the words “happy” and “losing weight” in one title…. Many accept that “happiness” and “health” are a pair and that losing one presents a challenge for the other. But pairing “happiness” and “losing anything,” let alone certain delicious foods and comfortable habits, seems a bit of a stretch, if not a paradox. Still, this is what I assert here. It must not be a horrible ordeal to lose weight; it can sharpen our sense of aliveness. Bad habits might currently dull our experience of the flow of life. There is a wise way of losing weight even, or maybe especially, during the holidays. It might just be the gift we have been needing for a long time.

First, happiness — and this is crucial before I can continue — must not be understood as perpetually feeling good. That would be boring. Instead, try to look at happiness as a love relationship with reality, which requires our focused attention (see A Unified Theory of Happiness). When we change our bad habits, we usually and quite immediately become more mindful while the better habits also soon begin to improve our mindfulness. For example, stopping ourselves when we are just about to overeat increases our mindfulness; eating blueberries also sharpens our mind in a relatively short amount of time. A new way of life unfolds almost from the start when we change what we eat and how and where we move.

As I share The Happy Way of Losing Weight, please treat it as such, that is as a way of life, instead of as a diet. Do not tell yourself that you will try this path for a limited time, but commit yourself to it for the rest of your life. To make happen a long-term commitment, choose from the path only the suggestions that appear doable and relatively easy. Add what seems difficult later, namely after you have fully adjusted to the initial changes. This way, you will not boomerang to the old ways. For the same reason, all five “Don’ts” will be balanced out with five “Dos.” The happy way must be wise to be successful.

FIRST DO NOT:

DO NOT consume any refined sugar anymore. It is not only found in the usual culprits of ice-cream, cake and candy, but in juice, soda, most tomato sauces and breads, even pickles. Check the label before you purchase anything. Homo sapiens is not meant to eat sugar, even though we have a sweet tooth. We are meant to eat fresh fruits as they contain vitamins on which we absolutely depend. If you find it too difficult to abstain from sugar all at once, let go of one or two foods, such as soda and sweetened coffee. However, keep in mind that it is much harder to wean yourself slowly. If you did do it more radically, you are probably over sugar after three weeks of abstinence. Keep in mind that we tend to crave carbohydrates when we are tired. This leads to the first of the “Dos.”

FIRST DO:

DO get enough sleep, that is at least eight hours. When we are sleep-deprived, we gain weight. In Ratey and Manning’s “Go Wild” you can read why this is so, “Researchers based at the University of Colorado found that sleep deprivation did indeed show a marked increase in weight gain, even with no measurable decline in activity or in energy expenditure. Instead, the experience disrupted the body’s signaling pathways associated with the insulin response, particularly a set of hormones that signal satiety: ghrelin, leptin, and peptide YY. As a result, people ate more—especially women, especially in the evening.”1 Sleep and you won’t crave sugar as much.

SECOND DO NOT:

DO NOT eat fatty, savory foods, such as French fries, chips or pizza. It is just too much for the body. Healthy fats are needed, but nobody needs tons of salted cheese and fried potatoes. You feel lighter and less tired right away. To make this a bit easier, please follow up with the next suggestion.

SECOND DO:

DO have healthy snacks and finger food readily available in your refrigerator, such as frozen blueberries (great in front of the TV), cut apples, carrots and cucumbers, baked kale in a bit of salt and olive oil, et cetera.

THIRD DO NOT:

DO NOT drink alcohol because it is rapidly converted into sugar. Some alcoholic beverages are better than others, such as vodka and tequila, but alcohol consumption is also dangerous for your health. Abstinence immediately improves your mindfulness. To let go alcohol, be especially wise and move to the Dos.

THIRD DO:

DO drink interesting, complex beverages to substitutes for the powerful taste of alcohol. You can create fabulous virgin drinks, such as unsweetened cranberry juice with ice and stevia or a hot lemon water drink; unsweetened tomato juice with pepper and a celery stick; hot fruit or ginger tea. Experiment.

FOURTH DO NOT:

DO NOT sit for too long periods. The sedentary life style is a major reason for packing on the extra pounds we do not need. It is a challenge not to sit; many jobs require it. However, we also sit and remain immobile in our spare time before screens. Sometimes the easiest way to move is to switch off a screen.

FOURTH DO:

DO join a gym or start an exercise program in or around your home. Just half an hour every day of aerobic exercise seems to have the greatest impact on weight loss. Dancing is fabulous exercise. Why not take regular classes? You are born to move, so move.

FIFTH DO NOT:

DO NOT eat your feelings. Instead of feeling your anxiety or other distress, you might eat and gulp down mindlessly. For many of us, eating has become a compulsion. Admit to yourself that you are powerless over food. Stop yourself and pay attention to your breathing instead. Just sit and listen to your discomfort. Pay attention to your desire as it does decrease like a wave.

FIFTH DO:

DO WALK IN NATURE, especially if the last suggestion is too difficult. Nature is a healing power. It is prescribed as therapy for many people, because we tend to move outdoors and because the smells and greens and blues calm us. Stress reduction can be essential in weight loss. Above all, being in nature makes you happy because it is relatively easy to feel alive with growing trees and singing birds.

From Psychology Today:

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Five Keys To Getting Over Resentments

From Psychology Today:

Every year of life impacts us, but nothing is as crucial to the personality’s development as the first six years. It also contains many of the hidden seeds that spawn stubborn resentments later in life.

Some resentments may stem from the caregivers and family that took care of and surrounded us during our most vulnerable and dependent state, while other grievances are reserved for those that abandoned their parental and familial post. Still other resentments experienced later in life, when stripped away of the superficialities, bear a striking resemblance to the initial hurts experienced in the formative years of life.

The problem with nursing hurts is the poison ingested from resenting others can be fatal for the wounded. It’s akin to a kind of infinite jeopardy as the person consciously and unconsciously replays the offending event in their mind over and over again on an endless loop without resolution. They are stewing in the problem and wreaking havoc on their well-being.

Conducting a little psychic excavation of the resentment(s) can lead to (1) understanding the source of the pain; (2) learning the defensive-mechanisms, or protective layers of feelings, associated with a resentment; (3) recognizing how old resentments get triggered so that dramas can re-play themselves in our lives (“unfinished business”); and (4) having the solution that allows you to free yourself from biting the bait of bitterness and replacing it with a genuine sense of peace.

(1)    The Source of Initial Resentment

An entire library of books could be written on this topic as the experiences and schemas formed in childhood are as vast and diverse as life itself. Nonetheless, there a few common scars shared by multitudes of people (cross-culturally and generationally) that occur in childhood and shape attachments, resentments, and how one relates to and protects themselves in the world.

Abandonment, abuse and neglect.

The scales of abandonment, abuse and neglect range from brutal and abhorrent accounts (like mutilation; an infant being left to die in a field; starvation; living in war; homelessness; living in squalor; exposure to drugs with addicted parents; living through a natural disaster like a hurricane, flood, earthquake, or fire; witnessing death, rape, abuse, and torture; being raped and tortured) to less severe accounts that still sear the memory with threat (witnessing parents fighting; not having needs met in timely manner, such as being left in dirty diapers for prolonged periods of time, not being fed in time, not being soothed, not being hugged and reassured; losing one or both parents; frequent moves; exposure to persistent loud noise and other extreme sensations; being hit by siblings and/or playmates; left alone for prolonged periods; not having proper medical attention in timely manner; being dismissed, ignored, and belittled; not having healthy boundaries and consistent caregiving; not being taught rules and lessons to develop emotional maturity).

The list is rich and endless. There are plenty of things in anyone’s life (rich and poor) that can be extracted from childhood as proof of injury—and to validate one’s scorn.

To help discover sources of your pain, take a moment to write down any hurts you experienced, even if it is something that seems completely innocuous. Give yourself permission to feel whatever feelings come up* (*see note in next paragraph). Honor them and, if you can, try to imagine your adult self responding to your wounded child self—and taking care of him/her as you would have wished you could have been cared for in the various memory scenes that surface. For instance, perhaps you are holding your child self and soothing him/her. You might be feeding him/her or thwarting an abusive parent or sibling from doing harm. Whatever the scenario, try to imagine changing the scene and providing the comfort, love and care you needed as a child. Don’t be afraid to tackle this a little at a time.

*It’s easy to offer self-help exercises, yet some of the material from our past can trigger trauma and put us in potentially harmful situations if we do not have adequate support around us. Please seek help if you are struggling and without any resources. There are free community clinics in many areas and Psychology Today has a therapist directory that gives you profiles of professionals in your zip code. Click here to conduct a search:  Please call 911 if it’s an emergency

(2)    Common Defensive-Mechanisms to Resentment

Like inflammation around a cut, many feelings and reactions act as a protective response to pain. Defense mechanisms are feelings and reactions that are typically employed to protect us from pain—and many times the protective feelings occur in layers.

For instance, a common initial defense mechanism is denial. It acts like a numbing balm that maintains there are no problems and that everything is fine. Denial can be positive and protective yet can also run the risk of causing perpetual distraction from fully experiencing the moment and the associated deeper feelings and sensations that can arise in the here and now.

When fully present, the layers of feelings begin to reveal themselves and it becomes easier to recognize how we protect ourselves to cover up deeper feelings. Some use humor to dismiss discomfort with jokes. Feeling irritable, cranky and/or easily angered are other defensive veils. When pushed to feel, the feeling of anger and irritability may escalate and blaming may ensue, however, underneath these defense mechanisms are generally feeling like hurt, fear and pain.

One gestalt technique for accessing the deeper, and more honest, feelings is tuning in to what your body is telling you. Are you repeatedly fidgeting or nodding your head or scratching at your arm? If you can catch yourself in the act and ask what your body or body movement would say, the immediate answer that comes to mind may reveal your hidden feelings.

It might help to know that any hurt, fear and pain could be in response to a current event yet could also signal an echo of a pain from childhood when it’s acute and unshakeable.

In fact, many patterns of relationship distress, conflict, career and financial habits, and some aspects of addiction stem from a continual activation of old wounds. This can sometimes be referred to as unfinished business.

(3)    Unfinished Business

The upside of experiencing the pain from old wounds is the opportunity to recognize that a pattern of previous hurts is repeating itself—and take steps to heal it. Referred to as unfinished business, the theory is that patterns will continually repeat themselves until we heal the original wound and finally respond differently to the pattern (or until we “finish the business”).

One of my first clinical supervisors described her experience with the concept by recalling her relationship with her mother.

A tall and confident woman with dark hair who seemed so self-assured and composed that she bordered on being intimidating, except that she had a caring air that made those around her feel comfortable and understood. I had imagined that she had a stellar childhood, so it surprised me when she described how her mother was cruel and steadily degraded and demeaned her since she was a child. She expressed there was nothing that she could do to receive any positive praise from her no matter how hard she tried or how accomplished she became. Her excellent grades and degrees from ivy league colleges and the numerous publications she published and masses of people she helped were met with ridicule and contempt—and left her perpetually feeling “not good enough.”

After undergoing deeper work, she recognized a pattern of unfinished business when she identified that every boss and relationship partner she ever had were eerily similar. While they looked different on the outside and had varied personalities and issues, the core pattern was that she was met with constant criticism and never had any of her contributions acknowledged. After her revelation and doing some inner work that resulted in gaining her own self-confidence and losing the fear that she wasn’t good enough, her following bosses and marital partner have been supportive, loving, kind, and affirming. The conflict and old patterns of criticism melted away and she has ceased being drawn to critical people for validation.

(4)    Empowering Steps to Ending Unhealthy Patterns

Begin by being fully present in the here and now. As feelings emerge, try paying attention to any defense mechanisms you employ to stave off uncomfortable feelings. Be patient with yourself through the process. Rome wasn’t built in a day and, similarly, emotional evolution takes time. In addition, no one is perfect and part of being human is living with our—and other people’s—imperfections, emotional wounds, and defense mechanisms. The key is being fully present to life, yourself, and employing healthy boundaries to best take care of you, for that is how you are most able to emotionally and compassionately show up for other people.

To illustrate with a personal self-disclosure, I discovered (and continue to learn) that I have a people-pleasing pattern. I would feel anxious when other people around me weren’t happy. Instead of going through the layers of my deeper feelings, I escaped myself by working harder and harder to make everyone happy. Of course, that only set me up for resenting the very people I was trying to help. It was a vicious cycle that didn’t make anyone happy. After doing some inner work and recognizing that I get anxious when others around me are unhappy, I was able to identify some of the initial patterning from my developmental years. My parents would get into horrible fights that were frightening. Sometimes my father would harm my mother and she would cry. I remember feeling scared as a toddler and wanting to take care of my mother, so I would do anything to make both of them happy. I tried helping with housework, fetching items they needed, trying to cook, hugging them, and doing anything to make them happy. I recall showing them a photo where they were kissing each other and asking them to please hug and kiss each other like they did when they were in the picture. The full weight of my unfinished business in this area hit me when I was an intern working with clients who were recovering from their traumas and conflicted marriages.

Healing my pattern didn’t mean quitting my job and not helping people anymore. Instead, it meant being present and recognizing my defense mechanisms that were covering up anxiety. I learned to fully feel the layers of my feelings and to listen to what my inner self was saying. So often, we ignore our internal voice and miss the opportunity to attend to our essential needs and hear the wisdom of our inner truth. That’s why counseling can be so reparative as it provides a safe space where we can speak freely and allow our inner voices to emerge.  A trained professional can be a fantastic guide as they help you differentiate between the dialogue of defense mechanisms and irrational fears to the purer voice of your most authentic self.  Journaling, meditating, documenting dreams, and other activities that allow inner feelings to surface can prove invaluable on the path to emotional evolution.

(5)    Emotional Evolution Leads to Forgiveness

When we become aware of our core feelings and inner truth, the resentments and dysfunctional patterns tend to melt away. There’s no longer a proverbial dog in the fight when the unfinished business is completed. Compassion for self becomes compassion for others as we realize that every person is working on their own emotional evolution and simply are where they are. As such, they may not inflict harm on purpose as it could be indicative of their own defense mechanisms. We can detach from taking their behavior personally while also disengaging from the drama because we no longer need our defense mechanisms. Moreover, we can even feel grateful for the people and situations that activated our old wounds and served as wake-up call for our own growth. A feeling of genuine gratitude and peace replaces the old irritability and resentments. We are free because we stopped silencing ourselves and can no longer blame others for aiding in our own self-silencing, self-abuse, and self-imprisonment.

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