Leslie Glass's Blog, page 313
December 9, 2018
What Are Date Rape Drugs
Any drug that alters a person’s consciousness in a way that makes self-defense or sound decision-making difficult can be a date rape drug.
Most estimates suggest that at least 25 percent or 1 in 4 of American women have been sexually assaulted or raped. Someone the victim knows, sometimes with the assistance of a date rape drug, commits most rapes.
Knowing the most common date rape drugs, their side effects, and the signs of a perpetrator planning to use one can prevent victimization.
Fast facts on date rape drugs:
Many people worry about a perpetrator adding a date rape drug to an alcoholic drink.
The primary sign of being drugged is a sudden, unexplained change in consciousness.
A person who thinks they may have been drugged should seek safety first and foremost.
Types and their side effects
Alcohol and benzodiazepines are commonly used date rape drugs, as they may cause physical weakness and loss of consciousness.
Date rape drugs make a sexual assault, including rape easier in one or more ways, such as:
making a victim more compliant and less able to say no
weakening a victim so they are unable to resist or fight back
making a victim fully or partially unconscious
weakening a victim’s inhibitions, so they consent to sexual activity they may otherwise decline
Any drug that changes a potential victim’s state of mind, including some prescription drugs, street drugs such as heroin, and popular drugs such as marijuana, can be a date rape drug.
The most common date rape drugs are:
Alcohol
Alcohol is the most popular and most readily available date rape drug. About half of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol consumption by the perpetrator, victim, or both. On college campuses, which are a common setting for rape, alcohol-related rape is especially common.
Alcohol lowers a person’s inhibitions, makes victims less aware of their surroundings and is often readily consumed by victims. It can also spur aggressive behavior by rapists and increase their willingness to harm others.
Benzodiazepines
Benzodiazepines are a class of anti-anxiety drugs that can also cause people to feel sleepy. A number of these drugs, including Xanax (alprazolam) and Klonopin (clonazepam), can be used as date rape drugs.
The most popular benzodiazepine date rape drug is Rohypnol (flunitrazepam). Rohypnol causes a victim to feel very relaxed, weakens their muscles, and may cause loss of muscle control. Some victims lose consciousness or feel dizzy and confused.
After Rohypnol wears off, some victims do not remember what happened. Rohypnol comes in pill form but can be dissolved in liquid, such as an alcoholic drink.
Ketamine
Ketamine is an anesthetic that acts quickly to cause feelings of relaxation. Victims may lose consciousness or be confused and compliant. They might not remember what happened while under the influence of the drug.
Unlike most other date rape drugs, ketamine acts almost immediately. A victim may not have time to realize they have been drugged.
At high doses, ketamine can cause breathing problems that may be fatal.
Ketamine comes as a white powder that may change the taste of someone’s drink. Consequently, perpetrators sometimes use it in strong-tasting alcoholic beverages that may disguise the drug’s presence.
GHB
Gamma-hydroxybutyric acid (GHB) is a drug form of a neurotransmitter that naturally occurs in the body. Neurotransmitters are chemicals that help nerves send and receive signals.
GHB slows activity in the central nervous system, making users feel groggy, sleepy, and potentially confused.
At low doses, GHB can cause nausea and vomiting. At higher doses, it can cause loss of consciousness, seizures, difficulty seeing, and the inability to recall what happened when drugged.
GHB is easy to overdose on and is often manufactured in home “labs.” Consequently, victims may become extremely sick after being drugged with GHB and it can be fatal.
GHB is a colorless, odorless liquid so a victim may have no idea they have been drugged.
Other date rape drugs
Any drug that changes a victim’s consciousness can be used to facilitate date rape.
In some cases, the victim might even ingest the drug willingly. A person who uses heroin, for example, may be so intoxicated that they do not realize a perpetrator is attempting to rape them.
People who use drugs should, therefore, avoid taking them around certain acquaintances or in settings that might facilitate date rape.
Recognizing The Signs Of A Date Rape Drug
Feeling confused, losing consciousness, or not remembering recent occurances, are all potential signs of having been drugged.
A person who has recently accepted a drink from another person, even a friend, or who has left their drink unattended should be cautious.
Some signs to watch for include:
feeling drunk despite not having drunk any alcohol
feeling confused or disoriented
losing consciousness
not remembering how you got somewhere
being unable to remember anything after drinking
waking up feeling confused, hungover, or unable to recall the night before
genital or urinary pain and difficulty remembering what happened
torn clothes
Date rape drug or severe intoxication?
It can be hard to distinguish the effects of a date rape drug from those of alcohol, particularly after consuming large quantities of liquor.
People who are accustomed to the effects of alcohol should consider how they normally feel after drinking or when intoxicated. An unexplained change in a person’s reactions to alcohol could mean a date rape drug is involved.
A person who feels significantly drunker than usual should consider the possibility that they have been drugged. The only way to know for sure is to seek medical testing.
What to do if you think you’ve been drugged
If a person suspects they have been drugged, they or a friend should call 911 and ensure they are in a safe location.
It is possible to lose consciousness quickly, so a person should not waste time trying to find the perpetrator or researching whether their symptoms match those of a date rape drug.
Instead, they should immediately tell a trusted friend that they suspect they may have been drugged. They or a friend should call for emergency help by dialing 911 then get themselves to a safe place.
They may want to ask a friend for a ride home or go to a public location and tell someone about the drugging.
Next, they should seek emergency medical care. Date rape drugs leave the body within a few hours, leaving no trace. After going to the emergency room or calling 911, a person should tell the doctor, nurse, or dispatcher that they may have been drugged and request immediate testing.
A person who wakes up to signs they may have been drugged must also seek emergency medical care. A hospital can use a rape kit to test for signs of sexual assault. If the police catch a perpetrator, this kit can be used to prove their guilt.
To preserve evidence, a potential victim should avoid showering or bathing until after the exam is complete.
A person who thinks they may have been a victim of a sexual assault may want to consider contacting their local rape crisis center. The center may be able to send a victim advocate to the hospital or offer phone counseling. To find a rape crisis center, click here
Protecting yourself
Some simple strategies can protect against date rape drugs:
Avoid drinking large quantities of alcohol around strangers.
Adopt the buddy system, always go out with a friend and look out for one another.
Never leave a drink unattended.
Never accept a drink from a stranger.
Never leave somewhere with a stranger, particularly after drinking.
Takeaway
Date rape is never the victim’s fault, yet many victims feel guilty or ashamed. That guilt can prevent them from seeking medical care or reaching out for support to help them recover.
Rapists are the only people responsible for rape.
By acting quickly when a person thinks they might have been drugged or raped, they can protect themselves, help to catch the perpetrator, and potentially mitigate the dangerous effects of date rape drugs.
The post What Are Date Rape Drugs appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
What Parents Need To Say About Teens And Pot
Afraid your teens are smoking pot? Here are four ways you can help your teens to say “No” and look at the facts together.
Kids of all ages need to hear from their parents regularly to learn what’s good for them and what’s not so good; what are the healthy behaviors that they should work on, and what behaviors and activities they need to avoid. You do this when they are toddlers, keep up the conversation about tough subjects too. You’re still the parent and their guiding light.
No Scare Tactics Allowed
It is tempting, in the case of pot, or other substances, to simply express your fears by telling your child/teen frightening stories of what might happen if they use marijuana. Don’t fall for it. That makes the argument about you and not the issue at hand. Your child will simply say you are a worried, hysterical parent. A more productive approach is to join them in their perspective and look at the facts together.
Studies show that parents have an enormous amount of influence on their children, so the younger they are when you start talking to them about tough subjects, the better the outcome for them, and for you.
Always remember that every conversation you have is related to social issues they face as well as the specific topic you’re addressing. So give them the facts while keeping the following things in mind.
It’s not easy being a kid these days. Kids receive information from many sources that is often not accurate. Parents are the very best people to set the tone for receiving the facts. Our kids also have pressures we didn’t have. Compassion and understanding of what’s happening around them helps your kids know we’re are on their side.
It’s your home. You have the right and responsibility to tell your children what’s not acceptable to you. First, explain you won’t let them do something you know is harmful to them, or illegal. You wouldn’t let them smoke, or drive, or drink, or do other adult activities while they are living at home.
Four Comebacks For Teens And Pot
1. Teen:
Now that Marijuana has been approved for medical use, and recreational use in so many states, it must be safe to use.
Parent:
That’s a good point. Just because a state approves a drug or activity doesn’t mean it isn’t harmful. Adults do unhealthy yet legal things like drinking too much alcohol, going to tanning beds, smoking cigarettes and vaping. They choose whether they want to do it anyway. And none of those are legal for children and teens because we know it will hurt them.
2. Teen:
Come on. I bet you used (or I know you use) marijuana and it didn’t (doesn’t) hurt you.
Parent:
Marijuana has been around for a long time. The natural plant may not be harmful in itself. But it’s been weaponized and is much stronger now. What’s being sold on the street is no longer the natural plant. Now marijuana is 14 times more potent than it was in my day. So there are more health hazards especially for children and teens:
Today newer strains of marijuana have different effects than those of the 1970s and 1980s, when THC averaged roughly 3 percent according to National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA).
In the early 1990s, the average THC content in marijuana was about 3.74 percent.
In 2013, it was almost 10 percent, and much higher in some products such as oils and other extracts. Smoking extracts and resins from the marijuana plant with high levels of THC is on the rise.
There are several forms of these extracts, such as hash oil, budder, wax, and shatter. These resins have 3 to 5 times more THC than the plant itself. (NIDA)
3. Teen:
If it’s approved for medical use, it must have some benefits.
Parent:
Maybe. There are cases where medical marijuana helps, but the research is still out on how much benefit there is for which disease. THC reduces nausea. In fact, two FDA-approved drugs with THC are prescribed in pill form to people who feel sick or have no appetite as a result of chemotherapy or AIDS. And there is some indication that it helps with seizures. But not enough research has been done to show the benefits. There are a lot of studies that show the harm marijuana can do.
4. Teen:
A lot of kids at school do it. How can it hurt?
Parent:
I’m sure a lot of kids at school do a lot of things you don’t want to do. Some of them may be drinking alcohol, or taking pills, too. Or maybe these kids tell you pot is less harmful that alcohol. The fact is pot is not safe for a lot of reasons. Here are some facts about marijuana and the brain from the National Institute on Drug Abuse.
As marijuana enters the brain, THC (that we talked about before and is heightened in the new pot) attaches to cells, or neurons that are called cannabinoid receptors. Certain parts of the brain have a lot of cannabinoid receptors and these are the areas most affected.
How Pot Effects The Brain
Learning and memory. The hippocampus plays a critical role in certain types of learning. Disrupting its normal functioning can lead to problems studying, learning new things, and recalling recent events.
Coordination. THC affects the cerebellum, the area of our brain that controls balance and coordination, and the basal ganglia, another part of the brain that helps control movement.
Judgment. Since THC affects areas of the frontal cortex involved in decision making, using it can make you more likely to engage in risky behavior.
How Pot Effects The Body
Increased heart rate. When someone uses marijuana, heart rate—normally 70 to 80 beats per minute—may increase by 20 to 50 beats per minute or, in some cases, even double.
Respiratory (lung and breathing) problems. Smoke from marijuana irritates the lungs, and can cause a chronic cough—effects similar to those from regular cigarettes.
Increased risk for mental health problems. Marijuana use increases depression and anxiety, as well as suicidal thoughts among adolescents.
Finally, you may need some professional help. Find adolescent and family counselors at Recovery Guidance.
The post What Parents Need To Say About Teens And Pot appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
December 8, 2018
Will Your Therapist Go On Strike? 4,000 Mental Health Workers Protesting Kaiser Permanente
From USA Today:
Thousands of psychologists, therapists, social workers and psychiatric nurses will begin a five-day strike Monday against Kaiser Permanente at more than 100 facilities across California, demanding one of the nation’s largest non-profit HMOs devote more resources to mental health services.
The shortage of mental health professionals is a growing problem nationwide.
“These clinicians are making timely access to mental health care the civil rights issue of our time,” said Sal Rosselli, president of the National Union of Healthcare Workers (NUHW), which organized the strike of approximately 3,600 Kaiser mental health professionals and 400 support staff, including dietitians and health educators.
The union is protesting the services Kaiser is giving to patients insured by the company. It wants Kaiser to increase staffing to reduce the length of time patients must wait for an appointment, to reduce the number of patients sent to non-Kaiser therapists, and to increase the ratio of returning patients to intake patients.
John Nelson, vice president of communications at Kaiser Permanente, strongly condemned the strike, calling it “completely unnecessary” and “a bargaining tactic.”
Several families who have lost loved ones while waiting for mental health care through Kaiser have shared their stories publicly: 83-year-old Barbara Ragan, a retired Kaiser employee whose family said she was suffering from depression, killed herself in 2015 after her family said she was told she would have to wait weeks for a psychiatric appointment. Susan Futterman, who is part of a class-action lawsuit alleging inadequacies in Kaiser’s mental health care, says her husband, Fred Paroutaud, killed himself in 2012 after failing to get an appointment with his psychiatrist.
Sonoma County Supervisor Shirlee Zane’s husband, Peter Kingston, killed himself in 2011 after struggling with anxiety and depression. Zane said her husband tried to see a Kaiser therapist in early December 2010, but was initially sent to an anxiety group instead. He was assigned a therapist later that month and had two appointments, an initial intake and one follow-up. On Jan. 15, Zane said her husband told her his therapist couldn’t see him again until March. He took his life 3 days later.
“I lost my beloved husband,” Zane said. “We had an incredibly wonderful and happy life and marriage. He got sick and he didn’t get treated by his provider.”
A national problem
The strike comes as diagnoses of major depression are rising dramatically across the country — 33 percent since 2013, according to a report this year from Blue Cross Blue Shield. The suicide rate also has increased 33 percent since 1999, according to a CDC report last week. The National Alliance on Mental Illness says 43.8 million people experience mental illness in a given year. But there is a shortage of mental health professionals to treat people who are suffering.
“The demand for mental health care services far outstrips supply because we aren’t recruiting or educating people to join the mental health workforce,” said Imelda Padilla-Frausto, a research scientist at the UCLA Center for Health Policy Research and the UCLA Center for Health Services and Society. “Once doing so becomes a priority, then maybe we’ll see fewer strikes among the few overworked therapists who remain in the field.”
A 2016 report from the Health Resources and Services Administration says by 2025, workforce shortages are projected for psychiatrists, psychologists, mental health and substance abuse social workers, school counselors, and marriage and family therapists. It projected mental health and substance abuse social workers and school counselors will have shortages of more than 10,000 full time employees.
A federal mental health parity law passed in 2008. While it doesn’t require health insurers to cover mental health services, if they do offer mental health benefits they must be comparable to physical health benefits. Plans under the Affordable Care Actwere required to offer mental health and substance use disorder services. However, even with these improvements, many insured Americans say they struggle to find a therapist or psychiatrist. Many professionals don’t accept insurance saying the reimbursement rates are too low.
A 2017 report from the National Council for Behavioral Health cited research that shows 77 percent of U.S. counties already had “severe shortages” of psychiatrists and other behavioral health providers.
“When you delay treatment appointments it substantially delays recovery times, and it increases morbidity rates and mortality rates,” said Fred Seavey, the union’s research director. “It has huge implications for people’s lives. … It has impacts on their incomes, their families and their relationships with loved ones.”
Holiday vulnerability vs. constant crisis
Kaiser and the NUHW have been embroiled in what the union calls a multi-year “war” over the quality of mental health care services. Following a complaint filed by the union in 2011, Kaiser was fined $4 million in 2013 for violating the state’s Mental Health Parity Act, which requires insurers to provide equal coverage for physical and mental health conditions, and the Timely Access to Care standards, which limits how long you have to wait to access to care. A strike similar to Monday’s occurred in 2015 resulting in Kaiser agreeing to make improvements to its clinician-to-patient ratio and other issues, but the union says it has not lived up to them.
Kaiser has “increased the number of mental health professionals statewide by about 30 percent since 2015,” Nelson said. “And when necessary we contract with community providers to further ensure our members have access to the care they need.”
The union says while many Kaiser patients now receive intake appointments within the state-mandated timeframes, they then have to wait one month or more for return appointments. The union said one-third of patients in Southern California are sent out of Kaiser for therapy, which places the burden of finding a quality, affordable therapist on patients, many of whom the union says are suffering from serious illnesses.
Kaiser has criticized the union for organizing a strike during the holiday season, when it says many of its patients are especially vulnerable. Nelson says Kaiser is asking patients with routine mental health appointments to reschedule, but will continue to provide urgent care.
Rosselli says from the perspective of the striking workers, there is “a crisis constantly,” and they didn’t feel they could wait any longer to get Kaiser’s attention.
Zane balked at Kaiser’s argument that therapists were being reckless.
“They’re making the point that somehow or other this is irresponsible for therapists to leave their patients for 5 friggin’ days,” she said. “They could put a patient on a five-week waiting list and not blink an eye and, ‘oh, by the way, go pay for your own care outside of the system,’ and then they’re worried about five days?”
Zane said Kaiser asked her to stay neutral in the strike. She shared an email with USA TODAY from community and government relations manager Carol Harris, who asked Zane and her colleagues on the Sonoma County Board of Supervisors not to “participate in the union’s public efforts to influence the bargaining process.”
“My husband’s dead, my kids don’t have a father, my grandkids don’t have a grandfather,” Zane said. “I’m glad these therapists are striking.”
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In Weight Loss Character Trumps Willpower
If you’re one of those people who repeatedly breaks their diet for “comfort food”, take heart: Relying on willpower may be the wrong approach. It turns out willpower, or the ability to resist short-term temptation in favor of long-term goals, is not just a metaphor. It’s more like a muscle that fatigues when you use it to make decisions, because decision making burns glucose in key areas of the brain such as the prefrontal cortex.
That’s why so many of us start out with the best of intentions on Monday morning and abandon them later that afternoon for a tasty treat. It’s also why so many do well on their diets during the day but “go wild” before bed or after dinner. It seems there are only so many good decisions we can make per day.
In this context, the common advice to “be good with food 90% of the time and indulge in unhealthy treats 10% of the time” is flawed. It’s a nice goal in theory, but in practice requires constant decision making. Every time you’re in front of a chocolate bar at Starbucks you have to decide “Is this part of the 90% or the 10%?”, and in so doing, you burn a little more of your willpower reserve for the day.
The solution, in my experience with hundreds of clients, has been to rely on character over willpower, because character eliminates decision making.
Permit me to illustrate with a thought experiment. Suppose you walk into a diner after a long, hard day at work. You haven’t been paid in four weeks and have barely any money to pay for your meal. You look down at the table as you’re seated and see a crisp $10. The waitress says “I’ll be right back, I just have to get you a menu.” She obviously hasn’t seen her tip from the last customer…
Furthermore, you’re all alone. There are no windows. There’s no video camera. There’s nobody up front. Nobody would see you steal the $10 if you wanted to…
Do you take the money?
Most people say “No way!”
When I ask why they say “Because I’m not a thief!”
“So even though you could personally better your situation without negative consequences, you really wouldn’t do it?” I ask.
The reply is inevitably “No! That woman worked hard for her money and it belongs to her. I couldn’t live with myself if I took it.”
“And how much willpower would that take?” I ask.
“None!” they say. “Like I said, I’m no thief!”
What’s going on here?
As a matter of character, most people have already defined certain self-rewarding behaviors as off limits no matter what. That’s just not the kind of person they are. Without knowing it, they’ve internalized a rule (e.g. “I never steal”) to define how they will habitually behave in the face of temptation.
Here’s the important point – in so doing, they have eliminated ALL decisions regarding that particular temptation. “I never steal” means the person doesn’t take what doesn’t belong to them no matter how broke, tired, hungry, etc. they may be. No matter what happened to them during the day. “I never steal because I’m not a thief” is a statement of character which means “I never steal no matter what.”
Furthermore, we’ve all implemented dozens of character rules without knowing it. I’d be willing to bet you don’t run up and kiss attractive strangers in the street on the mouth. I’m also pretty sure you don’t kick policemen in the tush. Or scream at the top of your lungs in your mother-in-law’s living room.
Now, why can’t we make those kinds of character decisions with food?
Turns out we can.
You can create rules which define the type of person you want to be around any temptation. For example “I will never eat chocolate on a weekday again.” This is not “just a rule” but a character statement which says “I’m the type of person who only eats chocolate on weekends.”
With this commitment all chocolate decisions which otherwise would have to be made Monday through Friday are eliminated, and a monumental amount of willpower is preserved.
Try it for yourself. Take a breath for a moment and think about your single most troublesome trigger food or eating behavior. Then make one character rule which defines the role you’d like that food or behavior to play in your life. A rule that defines the type of person you’d like to be with regards to this food or behavior…
How would you like to be with that food or behavior from now on?
The only limit is your imagination. Just be sure that rule is definitive and precise. Ten outside observers should be able to follow you around all day and 100% agree on whether you did or didn’t follow it. For example “I will never eat standing up again”, “I will always drink two glasses of pure spring water each morning”, “I will only ever eat pretzels in a major league baseball stadium again”, “I will always put my fork down between bites”, etc.
What kind of person will you become to lose weight?
From Psychology Today
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Is My Son Addicted To Porn?
It’s the question this God-fearing, church-going Mom doesn’t want to face, but I can’t deny the truth any longer. In August, my teenage son, Keith, found the seedy underbelly of the internet. At 40, I’m still too young to see the graphic images he saw. But there’s a deeper reason why I’m treating his obsession like an addiction.
Natural Curiosity
My first line of defense was an awkward conversation about what sex is and is not. He promised to never look at those videos again. I believed him. After all, some curiosity is normal, right?
In September, I again found trashy images in his browser history. I lectured. He promised. This pattern repeated more times than it should have. I changed passwords. We then developed a written contract.
When he violated our written contract, I took his device away and hid it in my bedroom. Later that night, when Keith thought I was asleep, I heard bare feet running through the house. Keith was in the office digging through my desk drawers. He padded back through the house and stood over my bed. I pretended to be asleep. He opened my nightstand drawer, but didn’t find his device. Next, he went through my purse. From there, he went to the garage to search my car.
I crept down the dark hall. In silence, I locked the garage door, trapping my son inside. Then I waited for him to realize he was caught. He screamed and yelled at me in anger. He didn’t show any remorse at being caught.
Unnatural Obsession
For the month of October, Keith had no technology. Over Thanksgiving break, I let Keith try to re-establish trust with me by giving him limited use of his device without any wifi privileges. I was still hoping this was a passing phase.
This week, Keith tried to take his phone into the youth service. When I noticed this breach, I told him to put his phone in my purse. He did and we both went on to our separate services. Later during the service, I noticed his phone was not in my purse. My stomach was sick, and I was overcome with dread. I walked down to the youth auditorium. Keith was using the internet on his phone. I was devastated. I returned to my service, too heartbroken to listen.
Keith’s drive for this device reaches beyond natural curiosity. I know addiction. I’ve lived with addiction. Keith’s lying is all too familiar. So is the sadness of being less important than the drug of choice. I don’t want this for me or my kid. Worse than that, he is so driven to get what he wants. I am afraid that this is only his drug of the day. What will happen when he tries his first beer or joint?
How Keith’s Addiction Triggers Mine
Addiction steals peace and harmony. Addiction pulls me to live in the future. My mind races with thoughts, “What if he is arrested?” Even worse, his addiction triggers mine: codependency. My need to control boils to the surface. It lies to me and says “You’re only O.K. if Keith is O.K.” Keith’s illness shines a light on my own illness.
I love Step 12. It says, “Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs.” I practice my recovery in all of my affairs because my illness has affected ALL of my affairs.
My Go To Recovery Tools
Keith’s dishonesty sent me back to the basics:
Live one day at a time. I had plans to do some grocery shopping after church, so I refused to let my mood change my plans.
Keep my mouth shut. I didn’t say anything when I took the phone, and I didn’t say anything in the car after the church. Before I even made a decision, I talked it over with my sponsor and my therapist. Keith is old enough to understand a delayed consequence.
Finally, I put the focus back on me. To recover from the set back, I cleaned my bedroom and gave it a mini-spa makeover. I also gave myself a pedicure and watched a movie. I took the time to eat healthy, protein rich meals, and I did yoga. I’m determined to enjoy my life whether Keith ends up in prison or not. The disease may end up taking my son, but it will not have two victims.
I decided the best way to handle Keith’s complete lack of respect was to take away every single belonging in his bedroom. He can earn them back, but for now they are all in the storage unit and he is sleeping in a room with nothing but his bed.
Even though I am his parent, I can’t make Keith obey my commands. The only person I can change is me.
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December 7, 2018
‘Hangxiety’ Higher In Shy People
Very shy people are more likely to suffer “hangxiety” — anxiety during a hangover — than their extrovert friends, new research shows.
In a study of almost 100 social drinkers with either high or low levels of shyness, drinking about six units of alcohol slightly decreased anxiety in highly shy people.
But the next day, this slight relaxation was replaced by a significant increase in anxiety — a state of “hangxiety” among the shy drinkers.
The researchers, from the University of Exeter and UCL, also found a strong link between this hangxiety and higher scores on the AUDIT test which is used to identify alcohol use disorder (AUD) in highly shy people.
“We know that many people drink to ease anxiety felt in social situations, but this research suggests that this might have rebound consequences the next day, with more shy individuals more likely to experience this, sometimes debilitating, aspect of hangover,” said Professor Celia Morgan, of the University of Exeter. “These findings also suggest that hangxiety in turn might be linked to people’s chance of developing a problem with alcohol.”
First author Beth Marsh, of UCL, said: “While alcohol use is actually going down, there are still 600,000 dependent drinkers in the UK.
“And while statistics show that, overall, people are drinking less, those with lower levels of health and wellbeing — perhaps including people experiencing anxiety — are still often doing so.”
Professor Morgan added: “It’s about accepting being shy or an introvert. This might help transition people away from heavy alcohol use. It’s a positive trait. It’s OK to be quiet.”
Participants in the study, who were tested at home, were assigned at random either to drink or to stay sober.
Baseline measures of shyness, social phobia and AUD were taken, and anxiety levels were tested again during the evening and the following morning.
The paper, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, is entitled: “Shyness, alcohol use disorders and ‘hangxiety’: A naturalistic study of social drinkers.”
From Science Daily
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Affordable, Friendly Nevis Offers The Perfect Site For A Do-It-Yourself Wellness Retreat
From The Washington Post:
One of my favorite moments in traveling to tropical islands is crossing the threshold from plane to stairway down to the tarmac. Usually, no matter the time of day, the warmth of that first step brings forth the sort of giddiness concomitant to anything you love.
For me, that thing has always been small pieces of land in the middle of a temperate ocean. But as I get older and more focused on the “trend” (and by trend, I mean necessity) of self-care, my pursuits go beyond plopping down on the nearest beach and not leaving until my plane does. Now, I need to factor in opportunities for exercise, healthy eating, contemplation and rejuvenation. Yoga retreats and similar wellness vacations are not in my budget, and in any case, I wouldn’t want the already mapped out itinerary that comes with group travel. So, I sought to design my own getaway, complete with all of the Zen this mid-30s mom desires, on the Caribbean island of Nevis.
Nevis is the ideal locale for a self-guided wellness trip because it offers the perfect balance of solitude and social interaction. Luxury is all around Nevis if that’s what you’re looking for, but it’s accompanied by genuine friendliness and affordability. In five days, I came back refreshed, but with my bank account still intact.
Nevis is part of a two-island federation in the West Indies. There are no direct flights from the United States; visitors must stop in St. Kitts, the “big sister” island, then take a two-mile, 10-minute trip by water taxi across the channel. Once on Nevis, options for traversing the island’s 36 square miles include rental car, taxi or the “bus,” small passenger vans that are accessible along the 20-mile main loop around the island. I had no problem using these options to get to the elements of my stay, traveling easily between my hotel, restaurants and locations that offered relaxation or recreation. Walking is an option too, if you don’t mind sharing the road with the occasional donkey.
My home base was the Golden Rock Inn, which was chosen with serenity in mind. With its soundtrack of jungle animals and rustling bamboo, lush landscape and tranquil views, it didn’t disappoint. And there are so many nooks and crannies around the 100-acre property that you could spend days without leaving, immersed in your own self-led yoga practice and meditation and fragrant walks through the carefully planned gardens. I also took a tour with the master gardener that taught me to identify flowers, trees, some medicinal plants and highlight some for overall aesthetics. The on-site restaurant became my chosen breakfast spot; it serves a bowl of local mixed fruit and fresh squeezed orange juice with every menu item.
Nevis, in general, has easy access to healthy food, one of the essentials of a wellness vacation, with tropical fruits such as mango and star fruit readily available and restaurants that really take pride in cooking with ingredients from their land. As I traveled around the island, I passed many roadside stands selling fresh produce — or sometimes even barbecue (comfort food has its place, especially when traveling).
The Tastee Jamaican Bakery, near the public ferry terminal, makes fresh juice using ingredients such as ginger, lemon grass, dragonfruit and soursop. (Nevisians swear the leaves of the soursop tree are a natural sleep aid.)
Montpelier, a boutique hotel built around an old sugar plantation, offers two on-site restaurants, one with a more poolside, casual vibe and healthy menu options: The chef offers fresh, organic foods including mahi-mahi, spiny lobster, gazpacho, cauliflower gnocchi and curried conch stew.
Coming from Maine, I knew I had to try the spiny lobster, and did so at the museum-like Riviere House, a restaurant, art gallery and “cinema” where diners can eat on an open-air porch in the back. Although I definitely prefer the cold-water lobster in my neck of the sea, having the ability to see the work of Nevisian artists was an unexpected delight.
In addition to healthy food, relaxation and contemplation are easy to find on Nevis. I found a gem for such pursuits within walking distance of the Montpelier hotel. The Botanical Gardens of Nevis, with 100 species of palms, a couple dozen Buddha statues, orchids, fountains, fruit trees and a Rainforest Conservatory complete with comical parrots, is a place where the Zen just finds you.
I also stopped in Bath Hot Springs, an easy pull-off from the main road, just outside the downtown area of Charleston. Its volcanic thermal baths have been known for their therapeutic properties for centuries. Next to the springs, a brightly colored shop called Bare Necessities sells local essential oils and other holistic products.
I wouldn’t say the heart of Charleston, the main town, lends itself to a meditative state, but the hustle and bustle is at more of a relaxed pace than many tourist destinations. As I wandered in and out of shops, I experienced firsthand the island slogan of “You’re only a stranger once.” One of my favorite things about Nevis was the hospitality. I never felt like the people I encountered were just giving me a sales pitch. Instead, I felt that they take so much pride in their home that they want newcomers to feel the same way about visiting it that they feel about living there.
I knew I needed to do more than eat and relax, however, I also had to move. One of the best places to get some exercise is Pinney’s Beach, the island’s largest. which is about a 10-minute trek from Charleston. If you want to do more than walk and swim, the beach is home to Pinney’s Beach Resort and the Four Seasons, where you can rent paddleboards or snorkel gear.
All beaches on Nevis are free and public — and, to my surprise, quiet. Pinney’s delights the senses with sugar-soft sand and music from the beach bars and cafes. As I walked along its three-mile stretch, I took in the striking Caribbean blue water with St. Kitts in the distance and the verdant green of Nevis Peak, a 3,232-foot-high dormant volcano visible from all points. It’s possible to hike to the summit, which I’m told is a strenuous, challenging, muddy ascent full of exposed roots. Hiring a guide, which is highly recommended, costs about $40 per person.
Next time I visit, I’m going to opt for a less rigorous pace and sign up for the early morning five-mile hike led by the general managers of Nisbet Plantation Beach Club, a hotel on the island’s north side. I found out about the hike while enjoying a rum punch at the beach bar and chatting with general manager Tim Thuell, who told me that part of the reason he and his wife, Tina, keep the walks going are the conversations they have with guests along the way. This, I could relate to.
One of the highlights of doing a self-guided wellness trip is that you have more opportunity to interact with locals — by hailing a cab, ordering food, asking for advice. During my first cab ride on Nevis, the driver told me he’d traveled all over the world with the U.S. military but now has no desire to leave the islands. By the end of the trip, I understood why he felt this way.
When I set off to satisfy my overall well-being, I wasn’t sure which aspect of my visit to Nevis would resonate with me the most — would it be the food, the serenity, the physical activity? But it turned out to be how comfortable and accepted I felt there. This too, I have realized, is an important part of a wellness vacation. And, on Nevis, it’s something that doesn’t need to come with a hefty price tag or fancy itinerary.
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3 Steps To Cut Through Denial And Be Honest
Denial feeds addiction, and everyone in the family is impacted. To truly we recover, everyone in the family has to take an honest look at how addiction impacts them. Meanwhile, denial will do everything in its power to prove things are fine. Or, “It’s not that bad.” Or worse yet, “It was just this one time.” You can cut through denial and face the truth with these three steps.
Denial Affects The Whole Family
Whether you are the person struggling with addiction or you love someone who is, denial will seep into every aspect of your life. Addiction is a family disease that affects generations, and everyone in the family needs recovery. Honesty in recovery needs to begin when you are first confronted with the evidence of addiction. These may be the facts you have seen for yourself or ones others have pointed out for you.
Denial is a part of the addictive process, for no one wants to see the facts and the consequences go along with addiction. Trying to cover up the addiction is the first warning sign that you are in denial. But research tells us that ‘Secrets keep us sick.’ Covering up what is really going on in your life, only prolongs your misery and makes your recovery harder.
Step One – Be Honest With Yourself
Your first step is to be honest with yourself. If you’re still lying to yourself about the extent of addiction, you won’t be able to be honest with anyone else. You need to stop minimizing the addiction’s impact and begin keeping track of how often this addiction harms you. Keep a log of any relevant facts including:
How often substance or behavior is used (porn, exercise, and even codependency are addictive as well)
How much substance or alcohol is used. Or how many hours are spent in addictive behaviors
Step Two – Be Honest About The Consequences
The next step is to examine the consequences your use has caused. You can begin writing down these consequences such as missing work, getting a drunk-driving charge, spending money on the substance, and all other consequences you’ve had. It is helpful to have your loved ones’ involved because they can give you the feedback you need to see how your use is not only impacting you, but how it is negatively impacting your family, friends, and your work.
Costs associated with addiction, including doctor’s appointments, ER trips, meds, counseling, lack of income, short-term loans
Frequency of arguments or altercations with friends and family
Amounts consumed or hours spent pursuing the addiction
Step Three – Listen
Be silent and hear what others are telling you about the impact on their lives. You have probably been in denial about your own consequences which you have minimized in order to keep using and to keep from feeling the shame and guilt you have with these consequences. Other’s can point out how you’ve missed family activities because of your use, driving drunk with the kids in the car, losing friendships because your friends can’t tolerate being around your drunken behavior, or how you’ve missed work due to hangovers or are in jeopardy in losing your job. Again, while this is very difficult, you need to just listen, not defend yourself, but just listen
If you have decided to seek treatment you need to be honest with the provider of the treatment. This could be a counselor you see for individual substance use disorder treatment, an intensive outpatient clinic, or a residential or inpatient treatment center. Believe me, for those of us in the field of addictions, we have heard every possible story of using along with the consequences and we also are able to tell if you are minimizing your use and consequences, so it does no good to try to con us. In reality, the only person you can con is yourself.
And conning yourself will just enable you to stay in the addictive process. You have to be honest to go through the pain of losing your drug(s) of choice for they have become your best friend, your lover, your parent, your spouse, your fun, and your leisure activity, so grieving this loss is a very important part of the process. You will also go through the grieving of how your using has hurt your loved ones. Until you do this grieving, you will struggle with staying clean.
Denial Comes Back
Once you get clean and sober you still need to be honest regarding your aftercare program and going to 12-step or other recovery meetings and/or using a sponsor. If you find yourself beginning to deny what is going on in your life, such as having ongoing urges to use or hating your recovery, you have begun the slippery slope to relapse. And while this relapse may be back into using substances, you may find you have switched addictions and now are struggling with a gambling or sexual addiction or other addictive behaviors.
So being honest is a life-time process. It is a way to live a life of integrity and growing and healing. The first step is getting honest with yourself and once you do this, you may find it is easier to now get honest with others.
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Accountability In Recovery: The Importance Of The Sober Sister
I just spent HALF the day discussing my issue du jour with one sober sister then another. It began with a situation that made me uncomfortable… Wow, something made me uncomfortable. What a shocker. I immediately called my sober sister to tell her about it while also trying to get out of going to the meeting she was on her way to pick me up for. Needless to say, I was picked up for the meeting, and we talked about what happened on the ride to the meeting, while getting coffee, then on the way home from the meeting.
All in all, my sober sister spent three hours “unpacking” this problem with me. Then I got home and I called another sober sister to do the same thing because apparently I had not had enough of talking about myself and my feelings. By the end of many hours, I felt much better. Want to know why?
I felt heard. I felt respected. I felt loved. That’s what our sober sisters do for us.
I love my family, but they don’t always know what to say to me, and I don’t always know what to say to them and that’s okay. I care deeply for many of the people in my life, but it’s the same thing. I am okay to admit that communicating with people is something I’m always working on getting better at because…most people can’t read minds.
However, sober sisters CAN read minds!
I need people in my life who can read my mind because I like to suffer in silence. The great martyr inside me wants to feel pain and not tell anyone. I want to keep it a secret and let it fester until I’m being eaten from the inside out. That’s the place where I get to be self-destructive and ultimately go out. This is why it’s vital to have sober sisters who can take one look at me and say, “What’s wrong?” Or, “What kind of trouble are you getting into?” We just operate on a different plane. We get that we wake up in the morning with broken thinking and we need each other to help fix it. We talk to each other for hours about our problems, work, whatever’s taking up room in our heads and hearts.
Having friends like this in recovery is absolutely critical for survival.
Now, this is nothing against our loved ones and boyfriends and girlfriends and siblings. I’m just shining a light on this particular part of the recovery family because it is so damn important. Part of a healthy recovery is having people you can tell anything and everything to—it doesn’t all have to be to the same person. In fact, it probably shouldn’t be. But, having women who act as a sisterhood of support and can laugh at the horrors with you and cry at the heartbreak is literally everything.
I’ve learned the hard way that there’s no point in discussing every weird thought that comes into my head with certain people. They won’t get it, and it will upset them. You must know your audience when you go into recovery. The beauty of sober sisters is you can give them anything, and they can handle it. There’s also this weird miraculous phenomenon that we NEVER lose our shit at the same time. It’s the craziest thing. Someone is always stable!
Anyway, we made the sober sisters pin because we literally love our sober sisters and wanted to do something that would show pride in this significant relationship.
So, Happy Recovery Month! Stay sober, love your sisters and let’s get through this crazy ride together.
xx,
Lindsey
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Why ROR’s Newest Book Is More Than “Just” A Coloring Book
Entering recovery is an incredible metamorphosis. Those in recovery learn a new way to think. They’re immersed in unfamiliar terms, slogans, and acronyms. As a result, friends and family often struggle with an unexpected kind of illiteracy. Our new book, Find Your True Colors In 12 Steps, reinforces early recovery lessons and translates these lessons so friends and family can join their loved ones in this empowering new world.
Recovery Is For Everyone
It only takes one person in recovery to change the whole family. Addiction is a family disease that affects generations, and everyone in the family needs to heal. Sometimes, the person who struggles with addiction isn’t the first who seeks recovery. Parents, partners, and children find support and healing in programs like Al-Anon, CoDA, Nar-Anon, and Celebrate Recovery.
Each of these family support programs follow the same 12 Steps of AA and NA. Why? Because they have helped millions. When families all work the same program, they can all speak the new language of recovery. Even if your loved one doesn’t quickly follow you into a program, your recovery will help you navigate the heartbreaking challenges of addiction.
This coloring book supplements a 12 Step recovery program with a twist. Many hurt by addiction live in constant fear. Will she get fired today? Will he get arrested? Or what if she drives home drunk again? We can’t sleep, and our thoughts race to plan for our worst fears: court dates, overdoses, and funerals. Our minds can only focus on one thought at a time.
This coloring book gives hurting minds 51 scenes to color and hours of distractions on which to focus.
Journaling is another key element to recovery, but it’s an intimidating habit to start. This book features 17 writing prompts to help you ease into this strange new therapy.
More Than Just A Coloring Book
We took the relaxing concept of adult coloring books and infused it with tools and slogans. Our book has 12 chapters, one for each step. Here’s an inside look at Step 12.
Order Your Families’ Books Today
Embarking on the brave new journey to recovery means you’ll learn a new language too: the language of hope. You’ll learn to communicate without fear and blame. You’re basically learning to talk butterfly language. Order your books today, so every person in your family can learn the incredible new language of recovery.
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