Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 28

Joy in Coffee Time, Laughter and Fresh Paint

My family and I recently spent a few days at my husband’s family farm, painting, trimming, and doing general upkeep tasks. It was a relaxed, joyful time even though we were busy with projects.

Life is different at the farm, quiet and peaceful. The schedule revolves around family togetherness, centered at the big farm table in the dining room. The conversations are wide and deep. Everything from religion and politics to family traditions and plans for the future are discussed. The multi-generational dialog and my mother-in-law’s fabulous meals draw us together.

Breakfast is the start of the day in which everyone participates, even tired teenagers. (Funny how teens can arrive at Grandma’s breakfast table early on summer mornings with smiles!) After filling our tummies with eggs, bacon, donuts, fruit, juice, and coffee, we head out to our various chores. BUT before leaving the table, the time for morning coffee is determined. Yes, the family honors the tradition my father-in-law grew up with . . . Coffee Time. When the cowbell rings, we all head to the house for coffee and treats around the table. This is repeated mid-afternoon, a few hours after a huge lunch. It amazes me how hungry a person can get after working hard in fresh air. Each one of us partakes in Grandma’s goodies, even me without a thought of calories or fat. We dig in-eating, talking, laughing. Then we’re back to work, fortified, and energized.

Simple things, like Coffee Time, the whole family laughing together at a silly joke, covering a 100-year-old farmhouse with fresh paint, bring me joy. I relish in the simple life at the farm. The deep faith of my husband’s family, and their dependence of God to provide are comforting. I’m filled with peace when my father-in-law prays over the family and the food at each meal. It’s times like this when my heart overflows with gratitude, tranquility, and joy…all around the big farm table.

Joyful indeed are those whose God is the Lord.

Psalm 144:15b

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Laughter, #Coffee, Family time. What are the simple things that bring you #joy? Tweet it.

Don’t Be an Idiot: The Most Inspiring Words I’ve Ever Heard

In an old episode of the office, Dwight Schrute recounts some good advice given to him by his sage boss, Michael Scott.

Michael Scott: What is the most inspiring thing I ever said to you?

Dwight Schrute: ‘Don’t be an idiot.’ Changed my life.  Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.

It’s really good advice for all of us.

Recently, my husband lost about thirty pounds. For years, he’s been saying that he would like to lose some weight, but he wasn’t too serious about it. One of his vices is sweet tea (we’re from Georgia), and try as he might to abstain from the sultry beverage, again and again he would fall off the wagon and head home from Chick-fil-A three refills past his original 32-oz drink.

But last March, he got serious. He actually did lay off the sweet tea. Instead of scheduling meetings at lunchtime, he’d come home and eat tuna with mustard. Plain tuna with mustard. He stopped helping himself to seconds at dinner. Maybe most shocking of all, he voluntarily ordered an entrée salad a couple of times when we went out. He started running. Then, as the pounds began to drop and the grouchiness began to subside, he signed up to do a sprint triathlon. With an event on the calendar, he amped up the exercise, quickly adding cycling and swimming to the mix.

Now, everywhere we go people we know stop and comment on his new physique. What’s your secret? They ask.

“Don’t be an idiot”, he says. “My wife has been saying it for years. Eat less, exercise more. I just stopped being an idiot.”

He’s amazed that people think he used some type of magic formula. He melted the fat the hard way, slow and steady. The technical term might be “self discipline.”

The credit really belongs to Michael Scott, but I’ll take it. Don’t we all want to wake up one morning and find out that there’s something magic about good old fashioned discipline? And yet, becoming a disciplined person really isn’t all that complicated. If you can remember four words, you can master just about anything.

The most inspiring thing I can say to you this week: Don’t be an idiot.

If you don’t want to take it from me, take it from 2 Timothy 1:7: For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. (NIV)

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Great advice we can all learn from Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute. Tweet it! 

Don’t Touch That!

Lloyd John Ogilvie in his book God’s Best for My Life wrote, “The future is a friend. The Lord can help me overcome the past and not repeat its mistakes.”

A child can be obstinate. She wants to touch the pan on the stove, but you tell her not to because it’s hot and it will hurt her hands. As soon as you turn away, she walks back to the stove and reaches for the pan again. Your voice becomes higher as you attempt to get your point across, hoping she will understand it’s for her own safety that your voice is raised in warning.

Even as adults, we’re not that different from children. We make the same mistakes over and again, and we sin today exactly the way we swore we wouldn’t sin yesterday. Because God knows what’s best for us, he sometimes has to “raise” his voice. He has to do something forceful to get our attention. Our futures are at stake, and God wants us to overcome our failures so that we may wholeheartedly embrace our promising futures.

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Pearl Girl Caitlin Wilson says “. . . as adults, we’re not that different from children.” Tweet it!

An Unexpected Gift from Alzheimer’s

A few years ago, I started writing a weekly column on my blog called “Conversations with Dad.” My father was in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s disease, and because my parents lived across the street, I was spending quite a bit of time with him. Quite a bit. For those of you who have had an experience with Alzheimer’s (and so many of you have), you know how heartbreaking it is to watch a person you love slip away. And you also know how important it is to keep a sense of humor to balance out that heartbreak. You just can’t live on the precipice of grief all the time. My dad certainly wouldn’t have!

Writing, for me, helps me to cope. I wrote up stories of the time I spent with my dad. That column became a way of capturing the essence of Dad while it was still there. Some of the stories were funny, some sad, but all poignant.

One day a reader left a comment on my blog after reading the “Conversations with Dad” posts. This woman, I’ll call her Ella, had recently learned that her 53-year-old daughter had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. We emailed back and forth, back and forth, and discovered we lived only an hour away. Soon we met for a long lunch.

Bright and capable, Ella’s worries about her daughter’s AD were very different than my worries about Dad. Ella, over eighty, feared she wouldn’t be here to care for her daughter when she needed her most. I worried about how to cope with my dad’s constantly changing needs. She worried about how to help her daughter retain independence for as long as possible. I worried about how to manage my dad’s high energy and lack of common sense. Dwelling on what lay ahead for my dad in Heaven gave me peace. Learning to treasure each day with her daughter brought Ella peace.

Over 30 years of life experience separate Ella and I—she is close to my dad’s age, I am close to her daughter’s age—yet we have much in common. I share all of my new books with her; she sends me gifts for my garden. She and her husband are basketball fans and keep on top of my college son’s games. I keep a little angel on my windowsill as a reminder of Ella’s daughter and pray for her daily. She has a knack for writing, and I’m bent on encouraging her to publish a children’s book one day.

My dad passed away a year ago. Ella’s daughter has continued to decline. The friendship between Ella and I began with our journey alongside Alzheimer’s, and it has spread into many other areas of our lives. Alzheimer’s disease is a heartbreak, but even AD brings lessons: learning to accept what we can’t control, treasuring each day as a gift, trusting God with our future—on earth and in Heaven. I’m particularly grateful for God’s encouragements along the way to “hangeth thou in there”—like meeting Ella through a blog.

Tweetables

Does someone you love suffer from Alzheimer’s? Read @SuzanneWFisher’s encouraging post! Tweet it.

Ovarian Cancer, The Silent Killer | Colleen Coble

When I was writing Rosemary Cottage I suddenly realized one of Amy’s heartaches was her inability to have children due to ovarian cancer. Amy’s cancer was detected in her early 30s so she’s going to be fine (just to reassure you before you read the book!) but many women aren’t that fortunate.

I’m especially connected to this topic because my sister-of-the-heart Diann Hunt has been bravely fighting ovarian cancer for nearly four years. Over and over we have wished it had been detected sooner since it’s so curable in the early stages.

If you exhibit any of these signs, get an ultrasound done:

1. Bloating. If the bloating is new, occurs almost daily and persists more than two to three weeks, you need to see a doctor.

2. Pelvic or abdominal pain (this might be an ovarian cyst but get it checked.)

3. Feeling full.

4. Urinary urgency or frequency (most likely a UTI but if that comes up clear, get checked.)

You’ll make me very happy if you get a CA-125 blood test done now to establish your normal level. And every year at your annual checkup get it done again, even if insurance won’t pay for it. It’s very inexpensive, less than $40. And it just might save your life. It’s similar to the PSA test for men. An elevation means something is wrong, but that something isn’t always cancer. Still, it will let you check things out better. Your doctor may even pooh-pooh getting an annual CA-125 because it can be elevated from something else, but I say you need to know so you can fix whatever is wrong. And it just might save your lfie.

You will notice these symptoms are very vague. Doctors are working on better tests to find the cancer in the early stages, but don’t wait if you experience any of these things. I wish doctors did routine ultrasounds after fifty too. I’m on a crusade to make women aware of the danger.

But just so you know, Diann is doing really really well! Walking this journey with her has left me in awe of her trust in God. Her faith has encouraged me so much. God has promised to work all things out for our good. She’s always had a beautiful soul, but the suffering she’s endured has made her even more beautiful.

Best-selling author Colleen Coble’s novels have won or finaled in awards ranging from the Best Books of Indiana, ACFW Book of the Year, RWA’s RITA, the Holt Medallion, the Daphne du Maurier, National Readers’ Choice, and the Booksellers Best. She has nearly 2 million books in print and writes romantic mysteries because she loves to see justice prevail. Colleen is CEO of American Christian Fiction Writers and is a member of Romance Writers of America. She lives with her husband Dave in Indiana.

 

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Annual screening could save your life from this silent killer. Tweet it.

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The ‘Up’ Side of Discipline

Do you ever feel as I do that you’re going in circles—accomplishing a lot of little things and then suddenly running out of fuel for what really matters, like time with your family or investing in a special interest that you’ve put off too long?

Have you considered that discipline is as important to our pleasures and passions as to our work and prayer and family life? I’m considering this too, and discovering that a happier more disciplined life is available when I surrender to wisdom and discernment––two virtues that are easier to talk about than practice.

A disciplined life is also a simple life—one that is free of baggage, bulging calendars, demanding people, and unrealistic expectations that challenge us in this ‘hurry up and get it done’ culture we live in.  But when we commit to clearing out the clutter—from old magazines to old clothing to old acquaintances that no longer nourish us—oh the freedom and the strength and the zest we feel. Discipline becomes a ‘good’ thing instead of a hard task.

I took a step in this direction today by going through closets and drawers and boxes and making a big pile of unused clothing and shoes and then assembling them for the United Cerebral Palsy truck that comes to our neighborhood each month. I talk about giving away what we can no longer use but often forget—until I discipline myself to do what I did today.

It also takes discipline to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty, to refuel ourselves with a good night’s rest after a day’s work, and to carefully consider our choices and decisions ahead of time so we don’t over-commit ourselves and risk illness and irritability.

Discipline brings us down to where we ought to be so we can be lifted up by the strength of God when we need it most. And it affords us time for some of life’s pleasure—like camping and golf and swimming and music and reading.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).

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Discipline brings us down to where we ought to be so we can be lifted up by the strength of God when we need it most. Tweet it.

Do you feel guilty and worn out in life? A little discipline can help. Tweet it.

Reality Check

She needed heart surgery. My mother in law and I went together to the doctor to make sure all her questions were answered. We wanted to know why she needed the surgery and how it would affect her afterwards. We wanted Mom to know exactly what to expect from start to finish. The doctor described everything to her and said, “When you wake up, you’ll feel like a truck hit you, but each day you’ll do better and better and heal well. After surgery, I asked mom how she felt and she replied, “The doctor said I’d wake up and feel like I was hit by a truck. That’s true, I do, but we failed to ask what size truck it would be!”

That is reality! Reality is sometimes a shock.

Sometimes we just don’t know what hit us, and we can’t anticipate what the outcome will be when we don’t know what is then ahead of us. In her case, healing took time, but eventually she experienced better health and better quality of life.

When caring for someone with special needs, operations and medications will often improve health or quality of life but not cure the individual or change the course of that person’s life to make her or him what we’d call “normal.” The reality in this case is summarized in this question: Will we be able to run the race set before us or crumble under the weight of this responsibility for a lifetime?

It doesn’t matter who we are—rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, good looking or not, well-dressed or shabby, happy or sad, motivated or unmotivated, talented or untalented. When God wants to do something in and through our life, look out! That’s when reality hits!

As a mom, the reality for me is the day-to-day grind of life and the realization that we have no control over it, and that nothing will ever be the same. That part of life we didn’t see coming our way. That part of life, when it hits, we wish hadn’t—if we’re truly honest. If we are open to learning, it’s in that reality where God will give us new vision — a bigger picture as we walk through the tests and the storms that challenge us. Until we are willing to become active learning participants, we flounder, trying to figure out what’s going on.

It was the reality of caring for our son, and the knowledge that doing so would last a lifetime—either his or ours! Our son has learned and grown, but the pace was so slow that we often wondered if anything new was taking place. Reality is never what we expect. No matter what the reality looks like, it is likely a surprise. And what one of us would have chosen it?

What I’ve learned with each new reality, is that listening to God, my heart, and taking time to learn what will be needed, will eventually help me sort things out. I’ll learn, I’ll grow, and somewhere down the road of this journey, I’ll have a new level of understanding of life because I’ve embraced my new reality. Is it easy? Never. Is it worth it? Always! That’s reality!

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Pearl Girl Cindi Ferrini says, When reality hits sometimes it’s a shock. Tweet it.

Have you had a reality check in your life lately? Tweet it.

My Name is Debra Clopton and I Confess I Am A Worrier | Debra Clopton

It’s true—I am a worrier!

It is a “condition” that I’ve suffered from all my life and drives my family crazy. And I’ve always hated it myself.

I know there are others out there who suffer from the same “condition” as I do—fess up girls. Why do we do it?

God clearly tells us not to worry—but if you’re like me, you worry about being a worrier!

My husband Chuck and I, are youth leaders at our Cowboy Church. Each year we take our youth to Cowboy Youth Camp and we are about to leave in the morning. This will be my 5th year as a youth counselor at camp. Cowboy camp isn’t anything like any other church camp I’ve ever attended. It is very much grounded in Christ, but the unique difference of Cowboy Camp is it is geared toward the cowboy lifestyle. Most of our time is spent outside and focused around an arena with cows and horses. We get extremely hot and sweaty since the arena is on a hill with no trees and with a constant wind stirring up dust. And did I mention that temperatures are usually a little above 100 degrees! I know, this sounds absolutely horrifying to most (insert me chuckling here) Believe me though, it is an absolute blast!

Why am I telling you about camp when I was talking about being a worrier?

Because you can imagine that Satan will do everything in his power to try and prevent kids from experiencing God’s love and message while we are there.

John 10:10 says it best and was last year’s camp theme: The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

Each year Chuck and I are also hit with trials that try and derail us and they come in many forms. Satan has been faithful in his fight against us as counselors but what we have witnessed is that God has been more than faithful in turning every bad thing that Satan has thrown at us and our camp kids into good. Me, the worrier, has witnessed this over and over from the battlefield and it has helped me with my struggle with my worry “condition”.

So much so, that last year our family was hit with a hard personal attack prior to camp and we recognized it for what it was. We were prepared and gave it to the Lord. Having learned from the past we went about our business taking the kids to camp, and didn’t allow ourselves to be distracted from doing the work that God had set before us. John 10:10 was the message in theme for the camp when we arrived. It was a reassurance, letting us know where the trouble was coming from and to trust God as we were doing. We watched kids accept the Lord as their Savior while God took the trouble at home and turned it around for the better in so many ways I wish I could share all the details.

Our worrying about it wouldn’t have done one bit of good.

So this year we are prepared again, prayed up and ready to see God in action. I wish you all could be with me as we converge on camp tomorrow among 600 plus other campers. It’s going to be an incredible few days and I’m so blessed to be a part of it.

I pray that if you are a worrier that you’ll give it to the Lord. And remember, God’s got your back!

Debra Clopton writes fun, heartwarming romances featuring Texas cowboys. A Golden Heart finalist her many awards include: The Book Sellers Best, The Inspirational Readers Choice Award, RT’s Book of the Year. Debra lives in Texas with her husband and her two stepsons. Her two adult sons, lovely daughter-in-law and granddaughters live nearby. Her greatest awards are her family. She has written over 23 novels.  

 

Tweetables

Are you a worrier? Tweet it.

Guest Debra Clopton confesses she is a worrier and why she hates it. Tweet it

Celebrate the release of A Bride for All Seasons with authors Margaret Brownley, Robin Lee Hatcher, Debra Clopton, and Mary Connealy at their Facebook Party TONIGHT (7/23 8PM EDT)! RSVP Here! 

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Disciplined Disciples in the Word

So, how’s your daily quiet time with God? Do you sometimes get so wrapped up in the day-to-day activities you get sidetracked from spending time with Jesus? Unfortunately, I do. My intentions are good but the follow through is not always so great. But I have to honestly say, the days I spend time in prayer and the Bible are all around better days.

Discipline means “to teach”. When I spend time in the Word, God has an opportunity to teach me valuable lessons in how to follow Him, wisely and confidently. Dedicating time to pray, listen, and read is a discipline. When I’m in an organized Bible study, it’s easier because I’m held accountable for doing my lesson. When I’m on my own, it’s more difficult. So many other things are vying for my time and attention.

When I am on track, my favorite place to study is in the window seat in my bedroom. It’s peaceful, away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the house. I have pillows and a blanket to make my special place cozy. To get myself organized I keep necessary supplies handy. A basket holds my Bibles, reference materials, a journal to record prayer requests and scripture, pens, pencils, and tissues. Another item I’ve found essential is a notebook. When I’m distracted by the “To Do” list, I jot down whatever pops into my head then push it out of my mind.

Sometimes I use a devotional along with my Bible. Often I’ll add in an article from a friend or one I’ve downloaded and printed if it pertains to my family, 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting, or me personally. The Word of God grounds me. Applying the Bible to my life equips me. Listening to that Still Small Voice guides me.

The Word of God grounds me. Applying the Bible to my life equips me. Listening to that Still Small Voice guides me.

Become a disciplined disciple. Reserve a time in your day to quiet your body and soul. If you’re not sure where to start, try reading the Gospel of John, a chapter a day, or a Psalm each day. The goal is to spend time with the Lord. His will and His ways will be revealed as you study His Word.

Every word of God is flawless;

he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.

Proverbs 30:5

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Pearl Girl Becky Danielson asks, How’s your quiet time with God? Tweet it.

Become a disciplined disciple. Tweet it.

Life’s Mousetraps

I stifled a scream when I actually saw a tiny mouse in our garage. I had left the garage door open and this little creature had snuck in overnight. When I realized that it was still moving on the glue trap I felt terrible. It was stuck and the more the little mouse fought, the more stuck it became.

Keeping a safe distance, I whispered “I am so sorry, little mouse.” But I knew there was more that needed to be done if only I could only garner the courage. My youngest daughter, Katie headed to the car and when she saw the mouse, she too felt the need to act. And she did.

She grabbed her phone and googled how to get a mouse off a glue trap. Each option involved putting on gloves and pulling. I just couldn’t do that, but as the little creature struggled, my guilt grew into determination to help. When Katie read that we could splash a drop of baby oil and then gently pull the mouse, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of canola oil. As I baptized the glue trap with canola, a miracle occurred. The tiny mouse started swimming in the puddle of canola oil and swam itself free from the trap. Excited but horrified, I stood still hoping that the creature wouldn’t run towards me. Instead, he licked his canola drenched feet and scurried back into the woods.

We are all like tiny creatures who get stuck in life’s glue traps.

Katie and I thanked God that the mouse was free and gone from our garage. In that moment, I realized a beautiful metaphor. We are all like tiny creatures who get stuck in life’s glue traps. We exhaust ourselves by fighting the circumstances AND making ourselves even more stuck. It is only when we rest in The Lord and experience His grace that we can at last become unstuck in life’s traps.

What has trapped you recently?

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Pearl Girl Margaret McSweeney asks, What in life has you trapped? Tweet it.