Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 29

Do It Today!

Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

I’m a procrastinator. I struggle with it every day and I’m not proud of it. I’ve learned over time that procrastination costs. For instance, once I procrastinated about rescheduling a missed traffic court date. What could have been resolved easily, instead cost me $400 and tons of stress. You would think I would never put important things off again. But no, I find myself still stalling and thinking ”I’ll do it tomorrow” from time to time. And sadly it spills over into my spiritual life as well.

Sometimes I wonder how many blessings I’ve lost out on because of this bad habit?

More importantly, have others been robbed of blessings because I didn’t take action immediately? In Proverbs 3:27-28 it says “Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Come back later; I’ll give it tomorrow’ – when you now have it with you.” 

On the surface, it seems like such a small thing to put off calling that person, cooking a meal or offering to run an errand. It doesn’t seem so bad to forget to pray for someone today when you can add them to the list tomorrow. But how do we know that God doesn’t need us on the phone, in the kitchen, in that car, or on our knees today? We don’t.

God speaks specifically to me, to us, about procrastination. He tells us not to do it. Period. The end. If you can do it, do it now. If you have it, give it today. There is no gray area, which all us procrastinators look for and love. Tomorrow is our favorite day and later is our favorite time. But if we want to become more godly we have to embrace today and now. We have to embrace discipline, which we tend not to connect to our bad habit. To me procrastination is a lack of discipline. I know that may seem harsh but think about it. What does it take to do what needs to be done, day in and day out? Discipline. So if we are putting things off without a valid reason, we’re demonstrating a lack of discipline. I’m better than that. And I think you are too.

There’s a funny thing I’ve learned over the years. When we miss out on blessing others, we miss out on being blessed ourselves. Let’s not let procrastination rob us and others.

Tweet It

Pearl Girl Marietta Taylor says why we need to break the bad habit of procrastination. Tweet it.

Don’t Just Say No!

Since he started crawling, my son has been too busy to eat or sleep. Every moment is an adventure. Like an explorer discovering a new land for the first time, my son is intrigued with every crevice and corner of our house. He’s only 10 months old and already I find myself saying, “No!” way too often. I was also surprised to find that he already understands what it means.

In the past couple weeks he’s managed to pull the garbage can on top of himself, chew on computer cables, nibble on something disgusting he’s found on the floor, eat pages out of his books, nearly grab the toilet cleaning brush, and escape from a diaper change with fresh poo still covering his bum!

Simply saying a firm “No!” to my son, usually gets my point across. He can tell by the sound of my voice and look on my face that he’s headed for trouble. But as I prepare for the years of discipline ahead of me, the Lord has been teaching me what’s more effective than simply shouting “NO.”

Instead of saying “NO!” as he crawls away from a diaper change, I can show him how to be still and play with a toy.

When he’s crawling towards the computer cables, I can gently redirect him, giving him something much tastier to chew on.

I want my son to understand more than the word “No.” I want him to understand love.  So, instead of simply using voice to get my son’s attention, I sense God telling me to get down at his level, look him in the eyes, and physically show him a better way. 

However, I am just like my son. When I anticipate God is taking something away from me, I want to throw up my hands and scream. My childish actions demonstrate that I don’t trust Him.

“The Lord disciplines those he loves…God disciplines us for our good. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” {Hebrews 12: 6,10,&11}

But God is reminding to see His love not His no.

God is more than just words! He doesn’t just shake His finger at us from heaven. Instead God comes down, looks us straight in the eyes, and teaches us how to live a better way!

When God tells you or I to loosen our grip on the disgusting crumbs we’re trying to scrape off the floor, it’s because He wants to fill our hands with a gift…His best!

However, all too often,we focus on what He wants to take away, not on what He wants to give us instead.

How can you see God’s discipline in a more positive light? Can you see what He is giving you through His “no”?

 Tweetables

Pearl Girl Charissa Ann Steyn compares the disciplining of her son to the Father disciplining his children. Click to Tweet.

“I want my son to understand more than the word No. I want him to understand love.” Pearl Girl Charissa Steyn writes in Don’t Just Say No. Click to Tweet.

Your Kindness Setting

Helvetica is the default setting for the typeface on my computer. It is a serviceable font. Good for all kinds of projects. Sometimes I jazz things up with Georgia Italic. Other times I embellish with Zaph Dingbats, but the settings return over and over to Helvetica; it’s reliable.

Default setting. What is it exactly?

It’s the choice made in advance when no option was specified. It is the go-to answer when a question is asked. Of course settings can be customized. The user can make a conscious choice of what they want. However, they have to think of it ahead of time what that will be, otherwise the default takes over. This is not a big deal, I’m just talking about a typeface on my laptop. Yet I got thinking about what other default choices I let happen around me? For example my default food choices are healthy. So I go the farmers market. I limit the number of times I eat out. And I enjoy cooking at home. I set my transportation choice to walking. I run errands locally and walk to the drug store, post office, library and dry cleaners. Saving on fuel and keeping the my body in shape at the same time. The default setting for my life is a positive demeanor. My glass is usually half full. I’m pretty good at seeing the up side of things. This is not to say I never get cranky or want to scream in frustration. But I choose the perspective of optimist. And I let my default setting be kindness.

It takes some discipline to be kind. Holding doors, letting cars merge in traffic, saying please and thank you, smiling rather than rolling my eyes. I have to think about doing the kind thing rather than the fast thing.

Some would say this is just good manners. And living in polite society we should all be this way. But it’s not always the norm. I have had folks be surprised when I say thank you. Or look at me with a funny smile when I tell them they’ve done a good job. It takes a little thought to be kind but the benefit flows back to you not just away. I just feel good being kind.

It is lovely to go through life with a smile on your face rather than checking your watch (or phone) all the time to see where you need to be next. If in your interactions with the world you look someone in the eye and say a kind word it goes a long way to making you both feel so much better. So this week I encourage you to have your default response to life be set to kindness it will benefit everyone.

Five Reasons why Superwoman need to hang up her Cape

Your friend is going through a divorce. Your daughter lost her job. Your neighbor has cancer. Your boss wants a solution to the current problem at work. The economy is failing, and the world is coming to an end according to your pastor.

There are so many problems out there today that need solving that it can be totally overwhelming. And being overwhelmed causes stress. You can’t sleep. You’re eating to self-soothe. You can’t concentrate. You’re always tired, and you’re snappy with everyone. Why? Because superwoman is on overload! It really shouldn’t be this way.

We all know it’s not good for us to worry, ruminate, or agonize over our problems, much less what’s going on in everyone else’s life, but how do we keep ourselves from putting on our superwoman cape when we want to help everyone?

Here are a few things to consider:

Control of one

As much as we would all like to control the situations, events and people in our lives, we can’t. You only have control over one—YOU. Focus on that.

Self Care

If you don’t take care of yourself no one else will. Taking on the world’s problems can cause some serious stress related health problems. In a society where anxiety disorders are at an all time high, we need to be intentional about practicing good self-care skills. How do you begin? By noticing when your stress level is increasing and taking action on the front end of it. Try deep breathing exercises. Read. Write. Run. Get a massage. Take a hot bath. Play some great music. Whatever you do, make sure it’s what relaxes you.

Listen but….don’t take on

What do people really want? They want to be listened to and understood. So instead of trying to fix, rescue, control and take care of the whole world, try being a good listener to those who are having problems. You don’t have to solve their problem’s you just have to be there to offer encourageme.

Draw healthy boundaries

There are those people, as much as we love them and want to help, that will suck the life out of us. Drawing healthy boundaries is a must. That means learning to say the dreaded “N” word—NO. If you tend to be a people pleaser this will be hard, but remember, your health and emotional well-being is at stake. If you’re shot, you won’t be good to anyone. If you’re a rescuer, you need to read a book on co-dependency.

Watch what you tell yourself

I should have been more helpful. I can’t disappoint. I must be there for everyone. Sound familiar? If this is what you’re saying to yourself its no wonder you’re stuck. Try this instead: I did the best I could. I have to care for me. I must allow others to solve some of their own problems. Here’s a newsflash for you: you aren’t superwoman. So get out of the phone booth. Put the cape away and back away from the tall building!

If you get life out of solving everyone’s problems, you may be hooked on co-dependent patterns. Start today by noticing how being everyone’s problem solver is really affecting you and what the payoffs are for doing so. Then ask yourself, is it really worth it?

Back at you: How does taking on everyone’s problems make you feel?

Tweetables

Do you need to take off your Superwoman cape? @heartlinepod Tweet it.

How do we keep ourselves from putting on our superwoman cape when we want to help everyone? @HeartlinePod Tweet it.

5 reasons Superwoman needs to hang up her cape. @HeartlinePod Tweet it.

To a Toad

I cried my way through the morning session yesterday. I didn’t expect to. And I shouldn’t have. I mean, really—this is the third year in a row that I have heard the same talk. But I guess hearing your own story doesn’t get old. And that’s exactly what yesterday was: my story. Technically, I guess, the session was “The TCK [Third Culture Kid] Profile,” but that’s exactly what my story is. So as the speaker talked, I kept having images flash through my mind that restarted the tears I had stopped shortly prior to that. But you know what? I LOVED it. In fact, after the session ended, I thanked L for her talk. I thanked her for making me cry. But she got that . . . she got me. She had just finished counseling us all to allow the TCKs to grieve, because they needed to. She had spoken of the intense conflict simmering under the surface of so many of us, surrounding the unique challenges of a mobile childhood [i.e. “homelessness”], cultural confusion [i.e. “lost-ness”], and relational difficulties [i.e. needy yet “need-less”]. We are, in short, a conflicted bunch ☺ But, as L mentioned, we would not trade our odd upbringing for anything. We want . . . need . . . the intensity. Who wants normal anyway?

But what I’m thinking about now, at this point in life, is the value of this upbringing for life as I know it. My temptation, in recent years, has been to feel guilty for time spent thinking about the issues that go along with a TCK upbringing. It can, for a busy working adult, feel a bit like wasted time: time frittered away reminiscing about things that do not exist any longer.

But what I am realizing now is that there is, in fact, a practical value for time spent with this issue. As with any aspect of one’s upbringing, awareness of what makes one “tick,” as a “TCK” [he he he ☺ ] can have a very real effect on one’s present life. The reason for this stems from the fact that self-awareness generally promotes more balanced and thoughtful reactions and decision-making.

So what I’m thinking, so far as my own life goes, is that I need to be aware of how different I am from the “norm.” This applies no matter where I am living, as any culture in which I reside will have a majority of people who are, more or less, “at home” there. If I try to fit in with the norm, I will fail. That said, I also know that I am accustomed to living as a chameleon, out of necessity. So I can, for a certain amount of time at least, appear to have adapted fine—can appear competent, efficient, and adjusted. But sooner or later, no matter how much I want to just be normal, with a settled routine, my restless roots will rear their head [feet? ].

Maybe the solution is not to fight this as much as it is to choose my response. If I choose to be fully present, where I am, as much I can, no matter how long I expect to be there, maybe I can fight the current . . . if only just enough to doggie paddle ☺

This evening we had a thunderstorm: blessedly, after the increasingly stifling heat. As the downpour slowed to a sprinkle, Erika and I, stir-crazy after all the days’ meetings, decided to go for a walk. As we began, we saw a toad. I tried to get a picture of it, with Erika’s foot pointing towards it, but the rain falling on my computer was making the logistics of photo-taking a bit precarious. The photo above was the best I ended up, which isn’t all that great, considering the toad is invisible. But as the computer was out, we then figured we should document our rain walk while we were at it. The walk didn’t last long, however, with the downpour resuming soon after we had begun. But we walked back inside refreshed and happy, even if we did look rather like drowned rats.

Tweetables

Do you value your upbringing? See what Pearl Girl Anna Joujan has to say about the gratefulness of her upbringing. Tweet it.

Do you choose to be fully present in your current state? Tweet it.

The Gift of Discipline

It’s amazing how a sound can transport you to another time and place. Yesterday my husband Randy installed an old-fashioned screen door at home. After a lot of measuring and re-sizing, the door was hung. I couldn’t wait to hear the screen door slam against the wooden frame. In an instant I was back in my parents’ old Victorian home in Iowa on a summer evening. I could almost hear kids laughing, remembering how my brothers and I ran in and out of the house all day long. We always let the screen door slam behind us. We probably drove my mom crazy.

I always loved summer—those 2 ½ months seemed to stretch on forever. I packed a lot into those days. I rode my bike to the local swimming pool almost every day and practically lived there. And I beat a path to my friend’s house next door. We shined our flashlights to signal each other from our bedroom windows at night. It was a magical, innocent time before the cares of the world crowded in. I also remember chores—and whining about making my bed, drying dishes, feeding my baby brother, and cleaning my room. My parents taught me some good old-fashioned discipline. You can’t go out to play until your chores are done. That was a fact!

Webster’s defines discipline as the training that develops self-control and efficiency. Where would I be today without my parents who loved me enough to teach me about discipline? Even though it’s still difficult, I understand that discipline is necessary to be productive. Here are a few areas where I need ongoing work:

1. Spiritual�—Daily reading of God’s word, Bible study, prayer

2. Home/family— Being intentional with time with my husband, grocery shopping, preparing meals, cleaning

3. Ministry—Being faithful to do the work I sense God is calling me to do

4. Physical— Exercising, eating nutritional meals, saying “no” to junk foods, going to bed on time

The list could be endless and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Nike had the right idea with their Just do it! ad campaign—but how do you do that? It sounds simple. The reality is the spirit is willing, but my flesh is oh-so-weak. If only it were easy to make yourself do what’s next on the list. I’m convinced that even though self-control sounds like it is up to us, this spiritual discipline is a by-product of our walk with the Lord. It’s one of the fruits of the Spirit.

Only as I am empowered by the Holy Spirit, will I be able to overcome my fleshly laziness. I am weak, but He is strong. In my own strength I can’t accomplish much, but all things are possible with God. I’m learning that having the self-control to pack my gym clothes and steer my car into the fitness center parking lot (even though I’d rather go straight home and munch on chips) will bring rewards. I’ll feel more energetic and my clothes will fit better. Usually that’s the case when we use discipline/self-control. We are the ones who benefit.

Maybe you’re struggling with discipline in a certain area of your life. Believe me, you aren’t alone. Even though it sometimes feels like I take three steps forward and two backward, I’m determined not to give up. Maybe when I hear our new screen door slam this summer, I’ll be reminded to just do the next thing. Thanks, Dad and Mom!

I can do everythingthrough Him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

Learning from the Animals | Jim Kraus

Our noble dog, Rufus, and I take two walks every day—regardless of the weather. And we live in Chicago, so that ‘regardless’ can loom large at times. (At zero degrees, in the dark, with a wind strong enough to lift Rufus’ ears, ala The Flying Nun, one has to question our determination . . . or sanity. But really—one of us ‘has’ to go out, if you know what I mean.)

Anyhow, I have learned much from cohabitating with animals. Rufus has taught me to always be ready to go out, always be ready to happily greet the world, always be ready to make a new friend (even if the other dog looks like a rabid wolverine.) Rufus greets every day with a smile—even though schnauzers are not built for smiling. As a believer, am I that eager? Am I that happy to be alive?

Of course, I should be. And Rufus is always there to remind me that approaching the world and our faith should be done as a small child—with joyful abandon.

I based the character Rufus the dog in The Dog That Talked to God on our Rufus. Both Rufus’, the real and the fictional, have a child-like innocence and are quite simply, the most joyous of dogs.

The cat character, Petey, in my latest release, The Cat That God Sent, is also based on Petey, our cat who has deemed us as suitable hosts. Petey is an ill-tempered Siberian cat—and is a more inscrutable teacher. Cats don’t have the same need for constant affirmation that dogs do—so understanding their behaviors and learning from them is trickier.

What I have learned from Petey is persistence. Petey is basically an indoor cat—though he has a full-set of claws (and does not hesitate to use them.) Most of the time, he is fine with being inside, sitting on a window sill, watching birds flutter by. Occasionally though, he decides that he simply ‘has’ to go outside. (When he does, he walks around the house and comes back to the front door five minutes later.) When he wants to go outside, he will sit, inches from the front door, staring at it, and crying every 13 seconds. He will keep that up for hours, maybe longer. I’m not sure of his endurance—but it is longer then mine. Ten minutes into this caterwauling (they did invent that word based on a cat’s cry, didn’t they?) I simply HAVE to let him out. Petey is not angry. Nor does he seem frustrated. He is simply persistent and willing to persevere against all odds.

I wish I had the same dedication to an idea or a desire.

What would it be like to be that dedicated to . . . let’s say . . . witnessing? Not in an harassing, pestering way, but simply witnessing as a part of our daily routine—but something we do, over and over and over, until people hear us.

If we watch carefully, and listen with our heart as well as our head, the animals in our live can truly teach us much about sharing and connecting. I know the two animals in my house did exactly that.

Jim Kraus is a longtime writer and editor who has authored or co-authored more than 20 books, both fiction and non-fiction. His first book for Abingdon Press, The Dog That Talked to God, released in 2012, became a best-seller.

Jim and his wife, novelist Terri Kraus, have one son and live in the Chicago area. They share their home with a sweet and gentle miniature schnauzer, named Rufus, and an ill-tempered Siberian cat, named Petey. There is a Petey the cat character in Jim’s latest release from Abingdon, The Cat That God Sent. Any resemblance is purely intentional.

Give Your Husband This When a Wave of Crisis Hits

The favorite Tazo tea in our cupboard is “calm”. I guess if you steep the teabag long enough it soothes your very soul?

I recently read about John and Charles Wesley whom God used as tools in the first American Great Spiritual Awakening. They were traveling from Europe to America when a huge storm came up that could have sunk the ship. In his book, Implosion, Joel Rosenberg says:

“Everyone aboard was terrified -all but a group of Moravian Christians. These Moravian believers didn’t seem bothered by the wind or the waves. Rather, they sang songs and remained calm through the entire ordeal. The Wesley brothers were intrigued by such depth of faith.” It was the example of these believers that resulted in the Wesley brothers choosing to follow Christ.

A few weeks ago my husband got a call at 5:30 in the morning. It was his mother saying her brother was seriously ill, so my husband said he would fly with her immediately from our home in Montana to Tucson, Arizona.

It was all chaos as we had to think about packing and buying plane tickets in one hour’s time. I could see his wide-eyed look, trying to wake up so early and get moving so quickly, to say nothing of the heavy weight of anticipating whether his uncle would still be alive when they got to Arizona.

So I gave my husband my calmness.

I quietly moved to take care of things. I spoke to let him know what I was accomplishing. I tried to anticipate what he needed and take care of it for him. I prayed as I worked, asking God’s favor over plane departure, comfort for my mother-in-law, and strength for my husband.

When gale-force winds strike a man, the best thing a woman can do is to maintain a steady faith and a spirit that sings peace in the middle of crashing waves.

Be the Matriarch!

Great Gramma Swihart

I remember when, as a child, I first became aware that death was a reality. What a horrible reality it was! When would it happen? How? Who would I be with? Would I die alone? Would I “die before I woke” as in the bedtime prayer? I thought of all the people I would miss, all the things I wanted to do and be. At the age of only six, eight, nine, I had goals of being a wife, a mother, having a career, changing the world.

I’m sure this onslaught of thought about life came with my first experience of death. My great grandmother was a beautiful soul. She loved the Lord. She loved people. She was truly the matriarch of our family. The table was always set, just in case a visitor was hungry. And, if you weren’t hungry when you arrived, her cooking and canning were certain to whet the appetite! To complete the perfect picture, you would find her in a creaky wooden rocker, tipping back and forth, with her long silver hair twisted like silk and perched upon her head. She lived a long full life. A blessed life. A life that blessed others.

Moses stood before the Israelites and announced his retirement, “I am now a hundred and twenty years old and I am no longer able to lead you.” The reason for retirement may appear at face value to be a no-brainer: he was old. But the real reason was disobedience to God. Not all the time. Not very much of the time. But enough to prevent this great patriarch from crossing into the Promised Land.

When God offered, through Moses, the choice of life and death, blessings and curses to the Israelites, Moses knew the full impact of both. Choosing life and blessings was summed up in this heart desire of God:

“See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands… then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you…

But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient…you will certainly be destroyed…

Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life…” -Deut. 30:15-20

These are the choices I am making today. Will you make this covenant with God along with me?

Choose Life.

I will live to honor and please God and keep His commands. I will be attentive to His voice that speaks softly in my ear and tugs at my heart and be obedient to what He says. I will seek forgiveness when I am disobedient. I will strive to keep my heart totally devoted to Him.

Choose Love.

I will love God with my entire heart. I know that by doing this, loving others will be easy because His love will overflow in me.  I want the heart of God to beat in the very depth of my soul. I want to make room for Christ, living and breathing in me through His Holy Spirit.

Choose Blessings.

I acknowledge that everything I say and do is important. I can speak blessings or curses. I will listen to the words that flow from my mouth. Rather than cursing my children with negativity and failure, I will be a positive, Godly example for the generations to come.

I will rise up and BE THE MATRIARCH of my family!

In the name of Jesus, I pray LIFE, LOVE, BLESSINGS over you this day!

Are You the Answer to Someone’s Prayer? | Karen Witemeyer

http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

One evening when my daughter was about 7 or 8 years old, it was her turn to say the prayer at the dinner table. We all held hands and I found myself smiling as she thanked God for the food, for our family, for the day we’d had. The prayer followed her typical pattern until she reached the end. Suddenly she veered off course.

“And dear Lord, please let someone get me a drink, because I don’t have one. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Startled, I opened my eyes and scanned the table. Sure enough, everyone had a drink at their place except Bethany. Smiling, I quickly pushed to my feet, eager to answer that simple prayer with practical action.

It is rare for us to actually be aware of being the answer to someone’s prayer. More often than not, God works to place us in the right place at the right time to accomplish his will without us even being aware of the need we are meeting. Other times, we find ourselves at a crossroads. Do we continue on the path we believe is best for us, the one we are comfortable pursuing, that fits best with our ministry goals? Or do we heed that quiet urging on our spirits that suggests we take a different path, leave our comfort zone, and step in a new direction in order to meet an unexpected need that has been thrust in front of us.

I have to confess that I struggle with this kind of change. I’m a planner. When we go on vacation, I know exactly where we will stop each night, what hotel we will stay in, how long we will spend at each landmark or attraction. I’m not rigid. I allow room for spontaneity. But only to a point. So when I believe I am journeying in the direction God desires for me, it really throws me off my game to have something unexpected thrown in my path.

I like my comfort zone. I like serving God in the way that I’m accustomed, the way that is easiest. Yet how many times have I failed to become the answer to someone’s prayer because I chose to remain on the easy path instead of reaching out to embrace the unexpected?

In my latest release, Stealing the Preacher, my hero, Crockett Archer, is faced with this exact dilemma. For three years, he has trained to be a preacher for a congregation of his own. He is sure that this is God’s calling on his life. But when a gang of over-the-hill bandits abduct him from a train on the way to his final interview for just such a preaching position, he finds himself having to decide whether to escape to pursue his own dreams or stay behind to help the daughter of his captor realize hers.

In order to truly fulfill God’s calling on our lives, we must be willing to surrender our assumptions and rationalizations about what we think that calling entails to follow him in the direction he actually leads, even if that guidance takes us in a different direction than we expect.

So what about you?

• Have you ever been the answer to someone’s prayer?

• Or . . . has someone ever been the answer to one of your prayers?

I’d love to hear all about it!

Two-time RITA finalist and winner of the coveted HOLT Medallion and ACFW Carol Award, CBA bestselling author Karen Witemeyer writes historical romance because she believes that the world needs more happily-ever-afters. She is an avid cross-stitcher, shower singer, and bakes a mean apple cobbler. Karen makes her home in Abilene, Texas, with her husband and three children. Learn more about Karen and her books at www.karenwitemeyer.com