Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 21

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Journey to Self-Discovery

I’m so delighted to be with the Pearl Girls today. Thank you. And I’m thrilled to get to share a little of Dear Mr. Knightley and the story behind it. Dear Mr. Knightley is my first novel and it’s the main character’s, Samantha Moore, tale of self-discovery — a journey I think we all go on more than once in our lives.

In Sam’s case, she survived a tough childhood by hiding behind literary characters, adopting their personas when scared, in danger or when she needed understanding friends. But as the story opens, this device begins to hurt her (as all hiding eventually does) and others. She must lay it down to find her own voice, her own life and her own story. And we get invited into her journey by reading her letters to Mr. Knightley.

For me, this story started on my own journey of self-discovery. I was injured in 2009 and many of the ways I defined myself were removed for a time – tennis, running, tae kwon do, cleaning the house, driving carpool, volunteering, even standing in the kitchen cooking . . . I was housebound for several months recovering, praying, reading and, eventually, writing. A novel — and the extraordinary opportunity to write more — came from this time, but most importantly I learned to better trust God with my life, the good and the hard stuff.

For the reading, I first turned to all the Austen novels — my “home base” when reading — and then I read Webster, Dumas, Dickens, the Brontes . . . And the idea for Dear Mr. Knightley started to roll from there. I saw a character pushed by her past and started to play with how that would and could define her future. Sam and all the wonderful people, literary and real, surrounding her started to form.

And as she became real, so did her journey — seeking truth, life, love, and God. I found the best way to express this very internal and emotional journey was through letters. Letters allows the reader to feel like the story presents a first person view, but it does not. There’s a delicious layer we see that Sam can’t — there is what she is willing to tell Mr. Knightley, what she tries to withhold and how she interprets events — any or all of which can look different to us than to her. I loved the format and what I could reveal within it. Because oftentimes we ourselves can’t see the journey we’re on until it’s behind us.

The letters also allowed me to incorporate my love for Jane Austen in an organic way — as we can see Sam hide, even when she does not, and we watch her discover and recognize the pain it and she causes. And Austen was a fun and meaningful addition because our favorite movies and books play such an important role in our lives. We can relate to Sam’s desire to almost live within them.

But we can’t live within fiction and that’s part of the point too. I purposely made Sam’s life bigger, tougher, and more challenging than many of us face so that we could more easily and safely sneak into her emotional world and realize her struggles are universal. I think we all strive to define ourselves, face insecurity and fear, seek a place to stand and belong, and search for a family to love. I hope readers resonate with this journey, feel emotional camaraderie with Sam and understand that an ultimate loving Father exists. And I hope they find themselves wrapped up in an amazing story.

So there it is. That’s Dear Mr. Knightley and a bit about me. Again, thank you so much for inviting me here and I sincerely hope you’ll check out the book and let me know what you think.

What started as a journey to self-discovery, ended up a novel. @MargaretMcSweeney @Katherine_Reay
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Katherine Reay has enjoyed a life-long affair with the works of Jane Austen and her contemporaries. She diverted a bit in college and studied history and sociology at Northwestern University and then earned a Master’s degree in marketing from Northwestern as well.

After living all across the country and a few stops in Europe, Katherine and her family live in Seattle, WA, where she runs, writes, cooks and tries to clean the house. You can also find Katherine on her website, Twitter  on Twitter, and lurking somewhere within the pages of her first novel, Dear Mr. Knightley.

New from Katherine Reay:

Samantha Moore has always hidden behind the words of others—namely her favorite characters in literature. Now, she will learn to write her own story—by giving that story to a complete stranger.

Growing up orphaned and alone, Sam found her best friends in the works of Austen, Dickens, and the Brontë sisters. The problem is that she now relates to others more comfortably as Elizabeth Bennet and Jane Eyre than as herself.

Sometimes we lose ourselves in the things we care about most.

But life for this twenty-three-year-old is about to get stranger than fiction, when an anonymous benefactor (calling himself “Mr. Knightley”) offers to put Sam through the prestigious Medill School of Journalism. There is only one catch: Sam must write frequent letters to the mysterious donor, detailing her progress.

As Sam’s program and peers force her to confront her past, she finds safety in her increasingly personal letters to Mr. Knightley. And when Sam meets eligible, best-selling novelist Alex Powell, those letters unfold a story of love and literature that feels as if it’s pulled from her favorite books. But when secrets come to light, Sam is — once again — made painfully aware of how easily trust can be broken.

Reay’s debut novel follows one young woman’s journey as she sheds her protective persona and embraces the person she was meant to become.

Purchase your copy here.

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Are You Short-Sighted?

Clarissa had just gotten her license and her first car. It wasn’t the greatest first car, but it took her from point “A” to point “B.” She, like most 16-year-olds, was enjoying the freedom that came with her license. On the way home from school one afternoon, Clarissa had the music turned up, singing at the top of her lungs . . . not paying attention to the road. Suddenly a deer popped out of the woods up ahead. It saw the car hurtling toward it and froze. Clarissa slammed on the brakes, hoping she could stop in time.

Aren’t we like both Clarissa and the deer sometimes: short-sighted? Like the deer, we can be so intent on getting to the other side, reaching that next step in life, that when life catches us off guard, we freeze. Like Clarissa, we can become so distracted that we don’t see the danger toward which we’re racing. We tend to be short-sighted, either distracted or frozen when unexpected circumstances come. Nothing comes as a surprise to God, though. Cling to Him when you become short-sighted, and pray for wisdom to look past the immediate situations.

Are you shortsighted in life? @MargaretMcSweeny @ReMixHer
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You Can’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

It’s been a while since we all came to know Susan Boyle who auditioned for the “Britain’s Got Talent” show.

The surprise of it all . . . how did YOU respond?

I couldn’t help, initially, feeling sorry for her – first because she didn’t “look” the part all of us were expecting; then because she had to listen to the jeering and sneering of the unforgiving crowd and judges – how impolite, rude and mean. She certainly didn’t “look” like she’d be able to sing like she could, but she hadn’t even been given the chance to “prove herself” before the laughing and jesting began. Certainly she “showed” us all what she had to offer. I was personally happy to hear the judges make an apology for how they and the audience mis-perceived her!

Recently someone called, telling me of a young special needs pre-teen being teased by classmates. They were concerned about the “bullying” and negative comments and how their child would ever be able to rise above all the hurtful things people were saying. Upon my request, they proceeded to tell me some of the wonderful attributes their child with special needs has: kind, forgiving, patient (most of the time), never desiring or thinking of “getting even”, and so on. It’s too bad, isn’t it, that while this child can’t read, do math, or speak very well, they have such redeeming qualities that would rival those bullying. Might you, I, or those bullies wonder what this young person has to offer that others aren’t taking the time to notice?

It’s my hope that we’ll take notice of one young person overcoming some pretty amazing odds. I also hope we’ll look around us to see how we can appropriately respond to others who are different than we are, taking the time to learn what they have to offer before passing judgment or being critical. Here are some thoughts to consider and questions to ask ourselves about others with “special differences”:

• How will we respond the next time someone different from us comes across our path?

• What are the redeeming qualities this person possesses?

• Can we find something worthwhile this person does or is that will help us see them differently or better?

• How can we encourage this special person, no matter what their abilities are in order for them to become all they can be?

• Let’s be an example for others to follow by not pointing, teasing, and otherwise making fun of those who are different from us.

• Hopefully we can use positive and encouraging words to move this person to succeeding to the best of their abilities.

• May we refrain from jeering and sneering, which is rude, mean, insensitive, and impolite.

• Open our hearts to looking for the positive character traits one possesses rather than the abilities they are lacking.

• Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge lest you be judged yourselves.” That sums it up!

Remember: we can’t judge a book by its cover – and shouldn’t.

Do you judge a book by its cover? @MargaretMcSweeney @CindiFerrini #specialneeds
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Give Thanks!

“The Lord Jesus, on the night that he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it…” -1Corinthians 11:23-24

I purchased a book last winter which I was so excited about that I purchased two extra copies to give away. I had stumbled upon the author’s blog and was incredibly intrigued. Yet, somehow the excitement of my purchase was derailed before it arrived. I have just in the last few weeks engaged it, only to discover the timeliness of this read. One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp: it’s the perfect read for Thanksgiving, for Christmas, for the alignment of my life’s current endeavors, and perhaps . . . yours!

The author wraps her mind, her heart, her life around the Greek word eucharisteo, “giving thanks”. In the midst of her pain, disappointments of the past, and gruntwork of the day-to-day, the author begins a simple yet profound list. One thousand gifts. No, this is not a “what I want for Christmas” list! It’s a list of how the simplest things are the sacred. It’s a list of day-to-day unnoticed taken-for-granted blessings.

Eucharisteo: the word defines the final activity of Christ with his disciples. Knowing they were about to betray him, to deny even knowing him, he ate a meal with them, “he took bread, gave thanks, and broke it”(Luke 22:19). Today, the Eucharist is the church’s sacrament of communion, the breaking of bread, the drinking of the cup, symbolically partaking of the broken body and poured out blood of Jesus Christ.

I’m guessing many of us will be seated around the turkey among family, friends, who have betrayed or disowned us. We have deeply rooted disappointments, disagreements, that show up at the family table. It will require grace to break bread and commune with them. There are loved ones who have passed on, leaving an empty chair that no one can fill, a void in our hearts. Yet, in the midst of this, we can search for and discover profound treasures in the unnoticed, the seemingly simple, the everyday. And the simple becomes profound in the writing of it.

Will you join me this Thanksgiving, this Christmas, in writing a list? Not a list of wants, but a list of haves; the simply profound joys of life and living and breathing.

1. a sun-kissed day of Indian Summer

2. a soft butterscotch kitten purring against my chest

3. the thrill of sharing my heart, my God-thoughts with unknown readers around the world . . .

What’s on your list? The sharing of our lists is like breaking bread together, the communion of giving and receiving grace. Thanksgiving. I pray you will begin your list . . . and share it!

[Tweet "Cindy Stiverson askes "Do you have a list of eucharisteo?" @MargaretMcSweeney #thanksgiving]

Win Two Great Books!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve had some great guest posts this month on Pearl Girls. We’d love to give you a chance to win a copy of their books!

Leave a comment below for your chance to win a copy of Shannon Ethridge‘s To Know You and Liz Tolsma‘s Snow on the Tulips! Winner will be announced next Friday!

Congratulations to last week’s winner Merry! Please email your mailing address to ckrumm@litfusegroup.com and we’ll get your book out to you!

Mother (Nature) Knows Best

My mother enjoyed reminding me of the popular phrase, “Mother Knows Best.”  She didn’t always say it in words, but she made her point at various ages and stages of my life—from setting bedtimes when I was a child to establishing curfews when I was a teenager.  She also introduced me to Mother Nature during my years as a Girl Scout.  I will always remember our adventurous hikes through the woods, weekends at camp where I tromped through the creek in rain boots, and quiet moments sitting in the crook of a tree whittling a stick.

Those delightful experiences laid a foundation for what lay ahead.  The very first time I set foot in the wilderness on a women’s beginner backpack in the Sierra Mountains at age 50, I knew I had come ‘home’ to Mother Nature once again.

This 50-mile one-week trek on the John Muir Trail in Yosemite National Park, was my first foray into the back country of the Sierra Mountains and I was excited about every detail.  Sleeping in a tent, cooking on a small camp stove, seeing bears and ground squirrels and marmots, and hanging my laundry on tree limbs were only some of the experiences that reminded me of the pleasure of the simple life where a canteen of water, a handful of trail mix, and a cozy sleeping bag were the only necessities I needed or wanted.

On my own initiative I put into practice the old saw, ‘early to bed, early to rise.’  And I believe it did make me ‘healthy, wealthy, and wise,’ as the saying goes. I was exhausted in a good way at the end of each day and I was eager to get up each morning because there was so much beauty to take in and so many wonderful places to explore.

I loved scampering over boulders, cooling off in the blue lakes, napping in the tall grass, gazing at the flower fields, and plodding up a trail to the top of a snow-capped mountain. Everywhere I look there was something beautiful to see.

Many of my friends back home wondered what had come over me. What I did sounded so ‘hard’ to some and absolutely silly to others. Why hike and sweat and swat mosquitoes, when you could be home sleeping in your own bed, eating civilized food at a real table, and watching sit-coms at night like normal people do.

That’s when I realized I’m not normal.  I’m a wilderness addict, a nature junky, a hopeless romantic when it comes to being outdoors surrounded by mountains and lakes and waterfalls and meadows.  That’s where I want to be. It’s where I’m truly free—and fit.

Such experiences are all around us—whether at sea level or 10,000 feet. Some places are more conducive to this connection than others, but you don’t have to drive eight hours to have it. You simply have to be willing to step out of the circus of daily life and slow down long enough to see and feel and smell and taste and hear the call of Mother Nature—by a stream, under a tree, in a forest, on a hilltop.

A quick review of the first chapter of Genesis is reminder enough of God’s great goodness in bestowing on us the gift of “Mother Nature”—the seas and the sky, the sun and the moon, the plants and the animals, the mountains and the meadows.  For our pleasure.  For our good. For our well-being. For our total fitness.

Yet millions are starved for an experience of a simple walk in the park, a picnic by a lake, a nap under a tree, a dip in a cool stream, a hike to a high place.

“We forget,” says Philip Chard, author of The Healing Earth, “that there is more wisdom in the voices of wind and water than can be found in any talk show, self-help tome, or politician.  There is as much spiritual sustenance in a night sky or a misty morning as an ornate cathedral or charismatic sermon; and there is more life-purpose in growing a garden than in many careers, and more education in exploring a marsh, pond, or prairie than can be gained from months is a classroom” (Ibid. p. 14).

Who among us couldn’t benefit from a bit of dirt under our fingernails while planting a rose bush, our faces flush with the sun as we walk along the shore on a windy day, our eyes teary with delight as we enjoy the sight of a brilliant sunset over a purple mountain.

“If we are to go forward, both as individuals and as a culture,” says Chard, “we must first go back.  Back to the Earth”  (Ibid.).

The truth is we will go back eventually “for dust you are and to dust you will return” (Genesis 3:19)  But will we first return willingly to the bounty God has created and allow Him to show us, through nature, what it truly means to be a woman or man of grace, gratitude, and grit––which is what beauty is all about.

Mother Nature is a gift from God. @MargaretMcSweeney @KarenOconnor #nature #gift #faith
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Desires

Recently I was speaking at a women’s retreat in Paris. That may sound impressive until I add “Texas,” not “France.”

As ladies from all walks of life worshiped together in Paris, Texas, the lyrics of a particular song struck a slight chord of regret in my heart. As we sang about longing to sit at the feet of Jesus and share intimate moments with Him, guilt from my past reared its ugly head as if it still had a place in my life. (It doesn’t have a place since Jesus removed that guilt on the cross long ago, but it still likes to pretend on occasion.)

I whispered to God, “I’m so sorry for the way I’ve run to other men in the past, seeking to share intimate moments with them for satisfaction rather than running to you, Lord!”

A mental vision came to me of a lost little girl in a grocery store, searching for the security of her mom or dad . . . mistaking a stranger’s leg as that of her parent’s . . . wrapping her arms around tightly . . . looking up and realizing her error in judgment . . . feeling mortified, scared, and more lost than ever . . . then recognizing her real parent down the aisle and running at break-neck speed into their welcoming arms!

I sensed God asking, “Remember when your daughter made that very mistake?” Indeed, I remembered it happening with both of my children on more than one occasion.

“And what did you feel toward your child in that moment, Shannon? Anger? Betrayal? Disgust?” God asked. “Of course not. Neither do I feel angry or betrayed or disgusted by your mistakes. You recognize and run to me now, and that’s all that matters to me,” our Heavenly Father lovingly explained.

We often run toward and grab hold of many other things — excess food, shopping, alcohol, drugs, sex, money, success — for the comfort and solace that only God can give. And when we do, we end up still lost and longing for more . . . more than is possible on this side of Heaven.

But isn’t it wonderful to know that regardless of what we’ve wrapped our arms around in the past, God presently and will forevermore welcome us with open arms!

Indeed, He alone can fully satisfy the desperate desires of the human heart. Even mine. And yes, even yours.

What or who do you run to when the going is tough? @MargaretMcSweeney @ShannonEthridge
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Shannon Ethridge is a best-selling author, speaker, and certified life coach with a master’s degree in counseling/human relations from Liberty University. She has spoken to college students and adults since 1989 and is the author of 21 books, including the million-copy best-selling Every Woman’s Battle series. She is a frequent guest on TV and radio programs and mentors aspiring writers and speakers through her BLAST Program (Building Leaders, Authors, Speakers & Teachers.) Her most recent release is her debut novel, To Know You.

New from Shannon Ethridge!

Julia Whittaker’s rocky past yielded two daughters, both given up for adoption as infants. Now she must find them to try to save her son.

Julia and Matt Whittaker’s son has beaten the odds for thirteen years only to have the odds—and his liver—crash precipitously. The only hope for his survival is a “living liver” transplant, but the transplant list is long and Dillon’s time is short. His two older half-sisters, born eighteen months apart to two different fathers, offer his only hope for survival.

But can Julia ask a young woman—someone she surrendered to strangers long ago and has never spoken with—to make such a sacrifice to save a brother she’s never known? Can she muster the courage to journey back into a shame-filled season of her life, face her choices and their consequences, and find any hope of healing?

And what if she discovers in her own daughters’ lives that a history of foolish choices threatens to repeat itself? Julia knows she’s probably embarking on a fool’s errand—searching for the daughters she abandoned only now that she needs something from them. But love compels Julia to take this journey. Can grace and forgiveness compel her daughters to join her?

In To Know You, Shannon Ethridge and Kathryn Mackel explore how the past creates the present . . . and how even the most shattered lives can be redeemed.

Purchase a copy here.

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A+ for Kindness

They say whenever you hear negative comments about your performance or criticism of any kind you will take it to heart and think about it over and over. Even if you hear many good comments it is the negative one that will stick with you. It’s human nature. The words will last a long time.

Recently I was helping my mom clean out some closets. We unearthed all kinds of family treasures: baby clothes, building blocks, storybooks, holiday slides, vacation souvenirs, and on and on. We even found my report card from first grade! I started to read it with interest then my stomach turned to a knot. “Lisa lacks self-confidence. She needs too much teacher guidance to complete her work.” Oddly the words hurt even though they were 45 years old! Good Grief! I felt bad because I lacked self-confidence as a six year old. They were not unkind words they were the truth at the time. Still, reading that report made me momentarily feel terrible. Silly.

But this got me thinking about our words and how they last. I remember getting bad reports cards in school. I was described as a creative girl and I obeyed the rules. However academically I was always behind. Not enough to warrant special help I just struggled. But I was a rock star when it came to anything creative. Mom and I found a few book reports with more illustration than content to prove that point. Most of the report cards we found were not glowing academically. I flinched.

If words last so long we should be very careful how we use them. We have opportunities daily to say a kind word. Even a good morning as you pass a stranger on the sidewalk is an unexpected nicety. Holding a door, letting traffic merge, saying thank you; there are all sorts of ways to show some kindness. You can take it a step further. I once watched as the driver of an 18-wheel truck maneuvered his vehicle backwards down an alley in San Francisco. Folks were honking for him to hurry up. Yet he did it in two minutes! I was amazed and told him so! You can tell someone “Great job!” as well.

When you have a chance this week to say a kind word seize it! Tell someone they are giving you great service. Point out to a co-worker you appreciate the job they are doing. Let a family member know you love them. All those words will sink in and be remembered. In fact they just may be the comment some one needs to hear especially if they’ve only heard negativity for too long. Let your words be kind this week. It will put a smile on someone’s face. It will put a smile on your face as well. What a beautiful way to face the world: smiling!

If you’d like to challenge yourself with a new kindness each week check out the Kindness Chronicles on my website. Every Wednesday I post a new challenge. It’s a nudge to do something kind for the folks in your circle of people: family, friends, even strangers. Give it a try. You will be surprised how good it feels.

Seize the day with a kind word! @MargaretMcSweeney #kindness #smile
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The Balance of Beauty

A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is glad has a kind of beauty no matter what she wears. –Anne Roiphe

The photo I took above was of a woman that we had encountered on the streets of Mumbai. She stopped us as we walked by and with a smile she delicately tied a bracelet around my friend’s wrist. This woman was beautiful and she was adorned with many pieces of jewelry. However, the most beautiful thing about her was the smile of generosity that she wore on her shimmering face.

Across the globe, women all want to look and feel beautiful. We spend a lot of time, energy, and money worrying about it. According to Mint.com, a finance website, the average woman in America spends about $15,000 total during her lifetime on beauty products. I wonder what would happen if we took this money and spent it elsewhere.

There is a fine line that we must all try to walk as women when it comes to beauty. I believe in the importance of taking care of oneself. If you look good, then you feel good, and this can ultimately affect the way you treat others. I know that when I am feeling fat or ugly, I wear a frown and I don’t treat others around me as well as I should. How then do we find the balance in focusing on outward versus inward beauty?

God guides us in this. He tells us to focus on our inner self and more importantly, to focus on others. We should not selfishly obsess over our own looks.  However, He also says to treat our bodies as temples for He made us and He wants us to take care of what He has graciously given. We should eat well and exercise. We should be grateful for the beauty we find in His creation.

I suspect that almost all women struggle with the balance of beauty throughout their lifetime. This is why I think it is of utmost importance to find Godly friends to keep you in check. Spend time praying for the beauty of a Proverbs 31 woman and not the beauty that is portrayed in magazines.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. – 1 Peter 3:3-4

How do we balance focusing on outward versus inward #beauty? @MargraetMcSweeney @SWauterlek
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