Margaret McSweeney's Blog, page 19

You’re Invited to Pearl Girls’ 4th Annual 12 Pearls of Christmas Blogging Series

December is here, and we know how crazy your schedules are becoming! With that in mind, we have some great news! Margaret McSweeney has once again pulled together the 12 Pearls of Christmas, a free series of 12 posts for you to use during the 12 days before Christmas.

As we look with anticipation upon celebrating the birth of Christ this year, Margaret and some of today’s best writers (Robin Jones Gunn, Jodi Murphy, Cynthia Ruchti, Anita Higman, etc.) have created the 12 Pearls of Christmas series as free content for your blogs.

It also features a “pearl”-themed giveaway (pearl necklace) for you and your blog readers.

The Pearl Girls blog will be hosting 12 Pearls of Christmas and we would like to invite all of you to be involved by hosting this series on your blog, too! Just fill out this quick form (just email and blog address) and you will be given an HTML post for each day.

We will be sending out all the posts on December 11th.

You don’t have to use every post — you may pick and choose the posts that fit your blog or blog readership.

CONTEST:

A beautiful pearl necklace will be given away on New Year’s Day as part of the 12 Pearl of Christmas. This contest is open for all of you to post on your blog. The contest will be run using a very simple form. A link to that form will be included in all of the HTML posts. The contest will run from December 14th through the 25th. One winner will be selected at random and announced on New Year’s Day. **Note: Contest is also open to the bloggers that host the series.

Thanks in advance for your participation in this fun Christmas series.

What Do You Believe?

Elisabeth Elliot is one of my favorite authors (thanks to my sister who introduced me to her all those years ago!). While reading through her book, Let Me Be A Woman, a quote about self-discipline, order, and what you believe stuck out:

“The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on all speak loudly about what you believe.”

So I’m here to ask you today—What do you believe?

Does your life reflect what you believe? @Grit_Grace @ChristenKrumm
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Join the Conversation: What’s your favorite Christmas memory?

 

Join the conversation! What's your favorite Christmas memory? @Grit_Grace #Christmas #Memories
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Girls, Don’t Wait as Long as I Did to Start This Habit

It was a few days before Thanksgiving, and I was teaching my high schoolers how to talk about the events of Thanksgiving Day in Spanish. We learned all the food words and how to ask someone to pass the mashed potatoes. We even learned how to say Black Friday and sales fliers in Spanish.

Then I asked, in Spanish, Who will wash the dishes after the meal?

A few boys raised their hands and not a single girl.

I was that girl who never helped with the dishes. In fact, I was that woman who never helped with the dishes.

I was undisciplined in taking care of my kitchen at home, and at someone else’s house the task seemed even more daunting. The meal would end, and I would try to make a great show of helping clear the table. Then I would slink away to the living room, hoping no one would notice.

My guilt was immense, as the Spirit of God pinned me to the wall about this area of my life.

So I prayed, Lord, help me become the woman who gets up and does the dishes.

Maybe doing the dishes isn’t a big deal to you, but it was a decades-long internal struggle with laziness and selfishness for me.

One day I went to my mother-in-law’s, and the meal ended. I prayed a quick, God help me! and then got up and went to the sink. I stayed there until every dish was scrubbed and put away.

The next time we went to my mother-in-law’s house I did the same thing. One visit after another God slowly transformed my habit. Now I go sit down in the living room when the rest of the ladies do, after the work is done.

Let me say this to all the teenage girls and young women out there –our character is revealed when a meal is over and everyone is pushing away from the table. The kind of person we are can be seen by what we immediately do next.

Will we do what we feel like doing, without regard to the labor that needs to be done in the kitchen?

Will we speak ingratitude to the cooks by expecting them to prepare the food and do all the cleanup?

Will we sit and watch TV in the living room and pretend we don’t see the other women sweating over dishwater?

Let me encourage you in this –I didn’t realize what I was missing when I slunk away from helping in the kitchen after a big meal. There is a sweet fellowship among women when they work together on something.

This summer we had a family reunion at my parents’ house in Wyoming, and when the big Fourth of July meal was over I planted myself at the kitchen sink, to face mountains of dishes. My wonderful aunt picked up a dish towel to dry after I rinsed, and what a sweet time we had chatting about life over sudsy water. It was one of my favorite moments of the week.

So let our fingers be pruny, a sign of our inner self-discipline, to be hard working and thoughtful in the kitchen.

Our character is revealed when a meal is over. @McSweeney @Christy_Fitz #servanthood #dishes
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The “R” Word

While this happened a few years ago, we know the “R” word continues to be thrown around. This reminder is to help others learn some “special needs” manners!

BOSTON (AP) 11/10 – “LeBron James said he was sorry for using the word ‘retarded’ in a postgame news conference.” I know it’s been a while since this was “news” but the “R WORD” hasn’t gone away, so it’s still news . . . current to each of us who has a child with mental “RETARDATION.”

I was eager to see if there would be a follow up broadcast to that comment. Indeed, LeBron later apologized for using the “R” word saying, “If I offended anyone, I sincerely apologize.” I’m pretty sure I can stand in the front of the line with many whose children have special needs and say, “It’s not IF he offended anyone.” He did.

When that word is spoken, those of us in that “circle” try to be gracious to spare others embarrassment — but we hear it. And we heard him.

The apology would have been better phrased, “To those who care for the special needs population of the mentally disabled/challenged (mentally retarded), I am very sorry for my insensitive comment. I understand my comment may not be understood by those who are challenged mentally, but I do understand that I have deeply offended those who care 24/7 for those with special needs of this kind.’

Furthermore, I would love for LeBron (and others who use the “R” word) to offer public service to those who are mentally challenged, to learn what the special needs world of “effort” looks like. Those who have trouble learning, speaking, holding or throwing a basketball or baseball have likely spent hundreds if not thousands of hours and dollars in PT (that is Physical Therapy), OT (Occupational Therapy), and SP (Speech Therapy) only to get to a less than hoped for outcome after many years of hard work. These therapies are not working out to better prepare an athlete after a sports injury, rather these therapies are helping the patient to learn to do some of the very things we take for granted. OT helps those who are mentally slow to learn to use their fine motor (fingers and hands) skills for something as noble and simple as feeding themselves. PT was very helpful in teaching my son to balance because he couldn’t sit up on his own – that took a good year and a half to accomplish that one skill. ST was something that took some 12 years in the making to get my son to a point where he could make and form words. Just 12 years.

Yes, all those things took place at the rapid speed of what Webster calls retarded: “slow or limited progress.” Many who are “mentally challenged” or “retarded” have worked like an athlete to achieve little to no recognition; instead they’ve earned the cheers and applause of their parents, siblings, teachers, therapists, (and some family and friends), as they accomplish the mundane. There is also another group who’s worked hard and I commend and applaud those caring for those with special needs. May you “go the distance” with grace and dignity - because I know it’s not with ease or comfort!

And just FYI – I’ve waited over 30 years to write this – and it’s written with hope to initiate change in how the the “R” word is used.

@CindiFerrini hopes to initiate change in how "the 'R' word" is used. @McSweeney #mentallydisabled
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Win Three Great Books!

We’ve had some great guest posts this month on Pearl Girls. We’d love to give you a chance to win a copy of their books!

Leave a comment below for your chance to win a copy of Katherine Reay’s Dear Mr. Knightley, Deb DeArmond’s Related by Chance, Family by Choice, and Christa Parrish’s Stones for Bread! Winner will be announced next Friday!

Happy Thanksgiving

 

 

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Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Like me, your thoughts are probably drawn toward feeling grateful for your many blessings. I’ve often wondered, while sampling one more spoonful of stuffing and another sliver (only a small slice, please!) of pumpkin pie . . . why can’t I be mindful of giving thanks every day?

For me, it seems the ability to be grateful is related to my level of contentment. But how do we find this rather elusive virtue—especially when we’re bombarded with messages that insist we need more? Companies want us to yearn for the newest, fastest, best version. Black Friday deals entice us to buy more.

It isn’t only material things we crave. We desire the perfect relationship with the man of our dreams. Hollywood portrays the unrealistic. Couples gaze longingly into each other’s eyes at a candlelit table in some romantic bistro (in Paris, of course). No wonder we’re unhappy when the most romantic evening out for us is a burger at McDonald’s, usually with the kids in tow.

I speak as an expert in the field of discontentment. I’ve done a lot of my own research. When Randy and I got married at the tender age of 19, I dreamed of white picket fences, perfect children, and a kitchen floor so shiny I could see my reflection. It didn’t take long for my marital bubble to burst. My two toddlers fought and fussed. I tripped over toys strewn throughout our messy house. Plus my husband turned out to be less than perfect. Imagine that!

After four years of marriage, a friend told me about Jesus. I realized I desperately needed a Savior. I fell on my knees by my bed on that cold January day. I felt exhausted trying to make my husband be who I thought I needed him to be in order to be happy.

Many years later, I have the advantage of time’s perspective and lessons learned. Change is a slow, often painful process, not an overnight overhaul. When I began to study the Bible, the Apostle Paul’s writings gently confronted me:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13

What struck me about this passage was that Paul learned to be content. Contentment didn’t come naturally for him. I don’t think it does for you and me either.

As I began to practice seeing what was right in my life and relationships, I experienced contentment. I wrote gratitude lists in my journal. I acknowledged all I was thankful for instead of complaining about everything that seemed wrong.

Contentment is freeing. The less you need or want, the freer you become. The more gratitude you experience, the more likely you are to find contentment whether you are in need or want. That is a habit worth cultivating!

It is always possible to be thankful for what is given rather than to complain about what is not given. One or the other becomes a habit of life. Elisabeth Elliot Gren

O Lord, giver of all good gifts,

Help me start each day by giving thanks. Before my feet hit the floor, may I have a prayer of thanksgiving forming in my heart.

Amen.

Contentment is freeing. #Thanksgiving @McSweeney @DebKalmbach
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Friendships and the Art of Gift Giving

It was our senior year, and she sat across from me in my old Chevy so we could exchange graduation gifts. We had been friends for years but had become even closer in the last few. Her life was difficult at home, and she really needed a friend.

She went first and pulled out a tiny box wrapped beautifully.

I opened it slowly and was mortified to see a beautiful, Black Hills Gold ring. My thoughts went to the towel and washcloth that were wrapped and waiting for her to open.

I’m 44 years old now, and I still feel a twinge of pain every time I put on that little gold ring.

What was I thinking buying her a stupid towel set?

If only that were the one and only time I have ever felt that way, but no. I have a few friends who are consistently brilliant gift givers. One friend gave me a book for Christmas one year, because she gets me. Another friend made me an entire box of homemade, glass-beaded Christmas ornaments for my birthday, because she knew we were trying to re-do the look of our Christmas tree. These friends enjoy the planning and the buying and the making.

Then there’s me, and I’m the kind of person who is shopping for the “perfect” gift 15 minutes before a birthday party. Well, sometimes I’ve planned that far ahead. And I’ve usually run out of gift bags and tissue paper.

Do you know how many times I’ve stood in a store with tears in my eyes, wishing ever so much that I was that person who plans way ahead and makes something by hand and buys that special gift that touches my friend’s soul.

But I’m not that person. It makes me feel like a bad friend because I stink at gift giving.

Except I ask you: Are gifts what make a friend?

If the answer is yes, then I am a very, very bad friend. I am thoughtless and uncaring and horrid.

But if the answer is something else, then there is hope for me.

Can it be that my prayers for her in the early morning hours make me a good friend?

Can my gift be that my eyes light up when I see her walking my way?

Will she accept that I choose to overlook her quirks and forgive her offenses?

Can my thoughtfulness be the fact that I am faithful to her today and will keep loving her tomorrow and the next day, no matter what. Till death do us part.

My caring will probably never show up in a gift bag, but I hope it shows somehow. Some other way. Because I love my friends deeply.

So if I give you some sad, little, last-minute gift in a pathetically wrapped package, and I’m saying, Sorry it’s late. You’ll probably hate it, will you do what my sweet friend did and tell me “the gift is special because I know you love me.” Could you maybe pretend like it’s the most wonderful thing anyone has ever given you?

Because us bad gift-givers love our friends just as much as you good gift-givers love your friends.

We want our friends to feel loved.

What are some ways friends have shown you love besides giving you awesome gifts?

What makes you a good friend? @McSweeney @Christy_Fitz #Friendship #Gifts
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“For When I was Hungry…”

In my house, food talks. With three men, my husband and two teenagers, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Feeding their bodies well is important to me. Feeding their souls is imperative. I’m thankful I can serve them in these ways. (They are thankful I like to cook!)

Food and service have come together often in how we help others who are hurting or less fortunate. As parents, Scott and I have looked for concrete ways to serve others with our children. We like to serve together as a family. And it often revolves around food.

Working alongside others at our church with Feed My Starving Children has been incredibly impactful. Making mercy meals for family, friends, and neighbors in need has taught the boys that sometimes those in need can be right next door. Filling Thanksgiving Harvest bags with meals for those less fortunate, contributing to the Salvation Army’s red kettles, or filling a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child all have given the kids a tangible way to show their own gratitude for God’s blessings by sharing what they have with someone who has less.

Here are other ways to be the hands and feet of Jesus to feed the hungry and heartbroken.

• Pray at mealtimes, prayers of thankfulness and for those who have less. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:20

• Provide a mercy meal for a friend or neighbor. A hot meal fills the tummy, soothes the heart, and speaks volumes of love. A friend loves at all times… Proverbs 17:17a

• Write encouraging scripture on fast food gift certificates. Tuck them in the visor of your car to give to the needy on a street corner. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat… Matthew 25:35a

• Include scripture with the gifts packed into a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child. Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

As always, get the kids involved. When driving around town, my boys would watch for people standing on street corners with cardboard signs asking for food so they could hand a packet of gift certificates out the window. Looking into the eyes of someone who is hungry, telling that person you will pray for him is a humbling experience. It’s also a great launch pad for conversations regarding thankfulness.

Feed the hungry with food for the body and God’s Word for the soul. In doing so, you’ll provide hope and valuable lessons for your children.

How do you and your family reach out to the hurting and hungry, especially as the holidays approach?

How do you and your family reach out to the hurting and hungry? @McSweeney @BeckyDanielson1
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