Fern Schumer Chapman's Blog, page 11
November 30, 2022
A Reader Endorsement for Sibling Estrangement books on Social Media!
Appreciate the kind words!
The post A Reader Endorsement for Sibling Estrangement books on Social Media! appeared first on Fern Schumer Chapman.
November 25, 2022
Public Radio stations feature interview with my formerly estranged brother and me
After decades of estrangement, my brother and I did an interview about our reconciliation with a North Carolina pubic radio station. Other public radio stations around the country are running the story during the holidays.
The post Public Radio stations feature interview with my formerly estranged brother and me appeared first on Fern Schumer Chapman.
Public Radio stations feature interview with my brother and me
After decades of estrangement, my brother and I did an interview about our reconciliation with a North Carolina pubic radio station. Other public radio stations around the country are running the story during the holidays.
The post Public Radio stations feature interview with my brother and me appeared first on Fern Schumer Chapman.
November 22, 2022
Men and Women Handle Sibling Estrangement Differently
Men often avoid discussing their pain, but that doesn’t mean they don’t suffer.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/node/1182228/preview
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A mother of twins asks, “How do I get my son to open up to his sister?”
i totally agree with you. Men have been socialized to be “strong and silent”, no emotion, etc. [This is a reference to the psychologytoday.com post, “Men and Women Handle Sibling Estrangement Differently.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/node/1182228/preview ] My twins, boy and girl, age 40, had a falling out. I don’t know why cause they won’t say. My daughter will talk about issues, her brother doesn’t almost never. When he does, he’ll do it in a long text message to me, but not her. There’s a family dynamic because neither of us are happy with her relationship. I no longer comment or talk to her. Her twin deeply internalized it and is very upset (her partner of 16 years isn’t a very nice person). I’ve told him, her decision and all we can do is be there for her and her children and that there’s only the 3 of us so we need to stick together. My son has always been an “old soul” even as a child. They aren’t like me,who talks about things good or bad. It’s good for the soul. Not sure how to get him to open up more. Any suggestions?
The post A mother of twins asks, “How do I get my son to open up to his sister?” appeared first on Fern Schumer Chapman.
November 20, 2022
A German friend remembers my family for Totensonntag
Every year for Totensonntag, a German friend takes her son to the stolpersteine that memorialize my family in Stockstadt am Rhein — my mother’s town. Totensonntag is a Protestant religious holiday in Germany and Switzerland that commemorates those who have departed. My friend sent me this photo this morning of the candle she placed at my family’s stumbling stones.
Recently, I read this fascinating article, “Monuments to the Unthinkable” by Clint Smith, author of HOW THE WORD IS PASSED — a book I highly recommend.
“It is impossible for any memorial to slavery to capture its full horror,” Smith writes, “or for any memorial to the Holocaust to express the full humanity of the victims. No stone in the ground can make up for a life. No museum can bring back millions of people. It cannot be done, and yet we must try to honor those lives, and to account for this history, as best we can. It is the very act of attempting to remember that becomes the most powerful memorial of all.”
Thanks to my German friend, Tanja Kraft, for remembering.
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November 10, 2022
New Workbook Helps Estranged Siblings Cope with Their Grief
The Sibling Estrangement Journal offers a kind of therapy to process losses.
A survey for my first book on sibling estrangement produced many stories and statistics about this under-studied phenomenon. But I was most struck, over a
nd over, by how respondents described the pain of the experience and the relief they found in completing the survey.
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October 21, 2022
How a Chaotic, Abusive Childhood Can Lead to Estrangement
Free girl bullied in school image, public domain childhood CC0 photo.Children raised in chaotic, abusive, or neglectful families run the greatest risk of estrangement in adulthood.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/node/1181195/preview
The post How a Chaotic, Abusive Childhood Can Lead to Estrangement appeared first on Fern Schumer Chapman.
October 4, 2022
4 Challenges for Siblings When a Parent Falls Ill or Dies
Conflicts between estranged siblings may re-erupt during a parent’s last days.
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September 23, 2022
How family cutoff can produce both grief and relief
Grief and relief. These two emotions make a strange pair, yet they’re often experienced together by those who have had a conflicted relationship with a loved one.
Photo: Shvets Production
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