Todd Perelmuter's Blog, page 3

Path to Peace How to Make That Decision You’ve Been Dreading

Life is made up of hard choices. It's those big moments that define our lives. It's not the outcome that matters. It's those precious moments where we get to decide which direction our life takes. We put so much pressure on ourselves to make the right decision, but we forget that it's the journey and freedom of having options that makes life so meaningful.

The heart is always open to new possibilities, the gut guides us, but the mind stops us. We think the mind is being rational, but that rationality is fear in disguise. It stops us from moving forward and creating the beautiful life that is meant for us.

In this podcast, I share the 3 reasons we have a hard time making decisions, 3 ways to overcome them, how to make wise choices, and how to keep going and growing no matter what happens.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.

Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/

Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.

The post Path to Peace How to Make That Decision You’ve Been Dreading appeared first on EastWesticism.

Path to Peace Is Life Supposed to Be this Hard?

Why are we here? Seriously, what's the point? Why is there a universe where we lose everyone we love and everybody dies? Why is there war and famine and widespread poverty? Is there a purpose? What purpose could there be for all this suffering? Is life a cruel joke?

These are the age-old questions that have puzzled humans for thousands of years. But perhaps we've been looking for answers in the wrong places. 

In this podcast, I share why we're truly here, how to get through life's hardest times, and how to go from wondering why we're here to feeling blessed and grateful for this precious gift of human life.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.

Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/

Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.

The post Path to Peace Is Life Supposed to Be this Hard? appeared first on EastWesticism.

Why do people lash out and hurt others?

We live in a world that, at times, can seem to celebrate and reward the greediest among us. We live by our own code of values and morals, yet we see people who are unencumbered by ethics get ahead and who seemingly don’t have a care in the world.

But the truth is, there is a greater joy than the fleeting pleasure of accumulation. There is a greater and lasting peace that comes from developing meaningful relationships rather than taking advantage of others.

There’s an old saying that we all want to be happy, but true happiness is when others are happy. And the deepest happiness we can experience is when those around us are happy because we made them happy. That is the greatest feeling. It’s not fleeting pleasure, it’s lasting joy, the kind that comes from giving the greatest gift to someone else.

Many people in the world, through no fault of their own, perhaps due to military conflict, poverty, or traumatic upbringings, have never experienced this joy. In fact, they may only know the fleeting pleasure that comes from laughing at the suffering of others or finding momentary satisfaction in someone else’s pain. But there is a better way of living — peaceful, joyful, and harmonious with everyone around us — and it is possible.

So it’s not our job to condemn others; it’s our responsibility to lift them up. This doesn’t mean putting ourselves in compromising situations, and it doesn’t mean allowing our joy to be drained. It simply means we recognize the root cause: a lack of awareness. This ignorance, not stupidity, but the simple unawareness of the consequences of one’s actions, both for others and for oneself, is what leads to harmful behavior.

If we are conscious of the fact that doing good for others brings us our greatest, most lasting joy, then we naturally do it. And if we are aware of that truth, we can show it to others. We can teach without depleting ourselves. We can give without losing any part of ourselves.

We do this by staying in touch with ourselves, staying connected with how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and protecting our energy, even as we share it with the world. We share in a way that rejuvenates us, in a way that gives us more energy, because we’re doing the most meaningful thing a person can do: spreading love and joy.

When we see someone acting out in anger or pain, it’s easy to judge. It’s easy to hate and resist. But if we expand our perspective and become mindful of what that hate is doing to us, there is really only one option: to help, to share, and to remain open. That is always better than closing off.

And this is how we create a world where we don’t have to keep asking, “Why do people lash out and hurt others?” Because in a world where we see ourselves as one family, their happiness becomes just as important as our own. And this is how we create a world where everyone knows, deeply and truly, that love and compassion are the only way.

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The post Why do people lash out and hurt others? appeared first on EastWesticism.

We’re All Just Walking Each Other Home: The Spiritual Lesson of Ram Dass

As Ram Dass so beautifully put it, we are all just walking each other home. Ram Dass, as you may not know, was a Harvard professor who realized the height of his professional ambitions — and still discovered a deep, ever-pervading discontent and suffering. So he went on a journey to India to try to discover the true secret to happiness.

And he found this spirituality over in India, and came back in 1970 and began teaching what he’d learned to Americans.

He would frequently talk about his time working with dying AIDS patients, or when he was working on behalf of his nonprofit and negotiating with local governments to bring aid in. He said that before he would begin, he would sit with these people, and wait, until the identity that he was playing, that role of nonprofit organizer, or spiritual guru, would fall away.

And then there was just consciousness, looking at consciousness. He saw past the other person’s role and identity, until there were simply two souls connecting. And I think that is a beautiful way to see the world. Because there is that same light of consciousness that is within me, that is within you.  And we can all see the world this way.

To demonstrate this, I’ll just ask: Can you imagine if you were in someone else’s shoes? If you had been born with their brain, and their body, lived their same life experience, had their nationality, their identity, and their upbringing, can you not see that you would be that exact same person?

And there really is no other answer.

Of course, we would. If we had someone’s brain, if we had everything that shaped that person,
If we saw what kind of behavior gets rewarded in their community, and what gets punished or demonized — all of that would shape our behavior into being exactly the same, if we were in anyone else’s shoes.

And none of us had a choice about what brain we were born with, what body we were given, what looks we have, what parents and community we grow up in. But once we start to recognize that — beneath that brain and body, beneath that family history — there is a light of consciousness that shines through us all, and appears out our eyeballs…

We could call it the universe’s consciousness. Our eyes are the universe’s eyes. We are the ears of the universe. And once we recognize that essence, that is within every living being as our own — that we all want love, peace, kindness, just like we all have a hunger for food and seek it out — we all crave this peace, love, and joy.

So we know it is an innate part of life itself. Just like every animal feels hunger, knows how to find food, and eat it, we are all working toward that life.

Some people, whether it’s because of their brain, or their upbringing, may have a hard time getting home, as Ram Dass called it, to find that inner center where we can rest in peace and love. But once we recognize ourselves in others, the oneness within all of us, our judgments disappear.

And compassion is a very natural reaction to this experience. Because we can only judge and condemn when we fail to realize the causes that made a person a certain way. We can only feel hatred when we lack understanding of our true human nature.

And when we can simply experience that empathy — which is to love others as we love ourselves, and to share that feeling of what each of us is going through — we can help people, no matter what they’ve gone through, or what they’re going through.

Even though someone may have never experienced any peace or love in their life, and they have no idea what those words mean, and no idea how to get it, and so they act out, and they commit crimes, or acts of cruelty… we can respond with a loving example that can show them the way. And we can walk each other home.

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The post We’re All Just Walking Each Other Home: The Spiritual Lesson of Ram Dass appeared first on EastWesticism.

Path to Peace How to Hold on When You’re Losing Hope

What can we do when the world is burning all around us? How can we stay hopeful when we are surrounded by hopelessness? What is the point of life when we have nothing to live for?

I know that our world can sometimes feel dark, scary, lonely and meaningless. Every hundred years, nearly every single human will die. A slow moving apocalypse is coming for each of us. Our whole world will one day be shattered and destroyed. Everyone we know and love, gone. This is the nature of this physical universe — death and rebirth.

So what can we do when we feel like we can barely breathe? Is there anything that can help us when we can't even get out of bed? What can possibly break us free from our endless cycle of negative thoughts and feelings?

In this podcast episode, I share this one fundamental truth about our existence that can bring us peace no matter what we are going through. If we can remember this one simple fact when times get tough, we can make it through anything. It doesn't matter if we're in prison or a prison of our own mind, peace and inner freedom are possible.

Please enjoy other episodes where I share meditation techniques, tips and spiritual lessons from around the world for peaceful and stress-free living. Remember to subscribe to stay up-to-date.

*****
If you ever feel like my words brought a change in your life, and want to show your SUPPORT for what I am doing, click here.

Find all of my BOOKS for wherever you are on your spiritual journey: https://www.eastwesticism.org/spiritual-meditation-books/

Want to gift a book to a prisoner? Go here.

The post Path to Peace How to Hold on When You’re Losing Hope appeared first on EastWesticism.

Still Holding On? How to Stop Reliving Negative Experiences

As Eckhart Tolle shared in The Power of Now, he tells the story of two monks walking through a forest. They come upon a river and see a woman struggling to cross. Even though it’s against their rules and customs to touch a woman, one of the monks goes over, lifts the woman, and helps her across the river.

He sets her down, makes sure she’s okay, and then the two monks continue on their way. A little while later, the monk who witnessed the incident says to the other, “I can’t believe you carried that woman across the river.”
To which the first monk responds, “I set that woman down miles ago. You’re still carrying her.”

That story says something so important — how often we carry baggage and negativity with us long after the moment has passed. We’re constantly reliving our worst moments or imagining some kind of disaster in the future. So much of life is spent either replaying the past or worrying about a future that hasn’t happened.

But the truth is, none of that helps. It doesn’t do any good.

We have a choice in what we focus on. We can choose to live in the present. We can choose to focus on what we’re grateful for and all the beauty around us. Or we can dwell on the negative. 

Whenever we catch ourselves spiraling into negative thinking, we can always return to the breath. Just by becoming aware of it — observing the inhale and the exhale — we can interrupt that stream of thought.

So often, we’re so focused on something upsetting or frightening that we don’t even see what’s happening right in front of us. We’re so absorbed in the past or some imagined future that we miss the rainbow above us, or the kids laughing and playing nearby.

There is so much richness in the now, so much more than anything our minds can invent.

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The post Still Holding On? How to Stop Reliving Negative Experiences appeared first on EastWesticism.

How to Find Peace When Nothing Feels Good Enough

There was this woman I knew. She was very wealthy, and she had the perfect life. On paper, and from the outside looking in, everyone would say that’s the American dream.

But this person was never happy. She was always focused on the negative. If she went to a five-star hotel, she would change rooms three or four times — because the wallpaper might have been peeling a little, or there was a smell outside the room, or any other small thing — instead of noticing all the beautiful marble and gold around her.

That’s what happens when we live in extreme craving, in extreme expectations, where we demand everything be at an unrealistic level of quality.

This was someone who didn’t like flowers because they die. Didn’t like candy because it makes you fat. These were things we’d realize when trying to buy gifts for her.

She didn’t like the winters, so she’d stay in her room all winter. But then she wouldn’t come out in the summer either, because she didn’t really want to be outside. She didn’t want to enjoy her blessings. She was drained by negative energy, inner complaining and outer complaining. And that is very common. We see it all the time.

You might be at a restaurant with someone, and you notice they always send the food back because it’s cold. Something is always not quite right about wherever they are. And this is very exhausting. It’s not a peaceful, pleasant way to live. Someone with a little bit of gratitude and a lot less stuff would be a lot happier.

So, it becomes a practice to just be present with our surroundings, so we can notice the blessings we have. To be present with our thoughts, so we can recognize when they are complaining, negative, and draining. And then, we can just breathe and let those thoughts go. Let that tension in our body go.

And at first, maybe for just a brief moment here and there, we can have a moment where we’re simply present, just seeing with fresh eyes everything around us.

We never want to get conditioned into expecting everything to be perfect all the time, because that’s not a great way to live.

We think we see the world as it is, but we actually see the world as we interpret it to be. And that interpretation is everything.

If we see a picture in the newspaper of a woman crying in front of a burned house, and the caption says, “Woman saved by neighbor,” then we understand this is a happy moment. It’s a story of survival. But if we see the same photo with the caption, “Woman loses house,” then those same tears feel like tears of tragedy, and we feel immense suffering for her.

And this subtle shift in how we see the world is everything. It is the difference between living in a gray, dark, stormy world, or realizing there’s a rainbow peeking out at the end. It’s the difference between whether we see the good in the world or whether we only see the bad. And the fact of the matter is, we live in a world with both: infinite good, and infinite things we might wish were slightly different.

But we all have the choice of where we put our attention. We all have the choice of what we look at, what we focus on, and what we think about. And if we are grateful, we are looking at the flowers. We are looking at the butterflies and the beautiful sounds and smells all around us.

But if we are ungrateful — always thinking about what we don’t have and what others have that we want — we will never see the blessings in our lives. We will never see the bright colors in this world. We won’t even know that flowers smell beautiful, because we’ll never stop to take a moment to smell them.

So we really have to understand that gratitude isn’t the cause of happiness, it’s the byproduct of happiness.

When we are fully present in our surroundings and not lost in our heads, we see the beauty all around us. We see the blessings. But when we’re always lost in thought, always worrying and thinking, we wouldn’t even notice the cutest puppy trying to jump up and play with us.

The more we practice presence, the more gratitude we feel. And the more gratitude we feel, the brighter and more beautiful our lives become.

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The post How to Find Peace When Nothing Feels Good Enough appeared first on EastWesticism.

Todd Perelmuter’s Spiritual Journey

I was going on this mission with the purpose of helping people through whatever I could learn. It was terrifying, yes — but it was also deeply infused with a sense that this was the right thing to do. This is what my heart was calling me toward. I don’t know where the idea first got planted in my mind — that I should learn about spirituality, that I should spend 50 days meditating alone in the forest, but I felt like I was being called through the ages to do it. It sounded crazy. I thought I was losing my mind. I was about to be homeless for a few years. But that’s exactly what I did. And it turned out to be the greatest decision of my life.

I had no idea what was going to happen, but I knew one thing: even if none of it “worked out,” these would be the most meaningful years of my life. And that was more important than anything else.

For some reason, the notion that the Buddha sat under a tree for 49 days and found enlightenment or that Jesus went into the desert for 40 days and became Christ really stayed with me. It felt like history itself was speaking to me. Like it was saying: this is what we’re supposed to do. And so I had to trust.

I think when you follow your heart, and when your dreams are infused with the desire to help others, the universe conspires in your favor. And that’s exactly what I experienced.

A lot went through my head when I was buying that one-way ticket to India. I hoped, but wasn’t certain, that I’d find the ashrams and monasteries I was searching for. I hoped I wouldn’t end up in a cult. I hoped enough people would speak English. And I hoped I wasn’t crazy (the jury’s still out on that). But all the other hopes came true.

Just when I was ready for a new place, someone told me about it. Right when I needed a new experience, it found me. From that moment on, the universe kept giving me signs that everything would work out perfectly.

It was during those 50 days alone in the forest that I processed everything I had read, heard, and seen. With no rush, no people, no music, no books, and no internet — just stillness — I could finally absorb and reflect deeply. And during that silence, my purpose became clear: to help people experience inner peace, lasting joy, and infinite love.

Without the constant stimulation of modern life, I became more aware and present. And that presence, that state of just being, was where I found meaning. Because this life, this universe, is magic enough. There’s beauty in every atom, grain of sand, and speck of dust. But we miss it when we dull our senses with noise and distraction.

Meaning comes from full presence. From the moment when the mind stops, and we become one with everything around us. In that space, there is no negativity, no questions about the meaning of life, just aliveness and a powerful awareness. We begin to understand that everything we perceive, we perceive through the mind. And that awareness itself is what we truly are.

When we become aware of awareness, we see that we are both creating and being created by reality. There’s no more craving for meaning. No more avoiding pain. Just presence. And it’s incredible.

It’s deeply motivating when I hear from people about how my work has helped them or improved their lives. Even though these experiences changed my life, I still had doubts that anyone else would care or even listen. That’s the old egoic voice in my head. But it’s incredibly fulfilling to know that people are resonating with this message. That there is a world yearning for it. And that gives me hope for the future.

It makes me believe we really can create a more peaceful, loving world, one rooted in compassion, gratitude, kindness, and inner stillness.

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The post Todd Perelmuter’s Spiritual Journey appeared first on EastWesticism.

Why Don’t Spiritual Teachers Get Drained by Everyone Else’s Pain?

Any spiritual teacher or healer is going to encounter immense sadness, anger, trauma, and stress, because that’s who gets drawn to this path. And it’s absolutely vital to be able to hold space for those emotions without absorbing them.

The same way I dealt with my own pain is how I help others transmute theirs. Because if I take on their stress, I become useless. I lose my ability to serve. So I have to meet those emotions with conscious awareness. Whether pain comes from within or outside, the method remains the same: don’t take on more stress, and release the stress you do carry.

One of the most powerful shifts is seeing these difficult emotions as our greatest teachers. So when I encounter someone in deep struggle, in breakdown, in anger, in sorrow, I ask myself, how can I help? And I go into a state of deep presence and compassion. I see it as an opportunity to grow, to deepen my own capacity to serve.

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The post Why Don’t Spiritual Teachers Get Drained by Everyone Else’s Pain? appeared first on EastWesticism.

Mindfulness Can Ease Emotional As Well As Physical Pain

If somebody is in a lot of pain, and they’re going through some serious illness, and they are living in the past, and they’re loving it, then I would never tell anyone to change. But if they’re asking this question, then I assume there is some stress, and that the underlying reality of the present moment is causing a great deal of distress, and that they are not able to fully block out the present moment pain, and so they are looking for an outlet.

And in that case, I can say that the desire to escape, the wish for your situation to be different, is adding to that physical pain and is creating a great deal of needless suffering. So much of our suffering, I would guess 90%, isn’t from the physical cause of our pain. It is because we believe that it shouldn’t be. We don’t even allow ourselves to fully sit with that pain, explore it, or put our entire focus and curiosity on:
What actually is the feeling of pain?
What is the process?
What is the sensation?
What is the mechanism of how this feeling goes to my brain and is perceived?

When we begin to explore pain like this, we create a peace around it, a peace that not only heals our soul, but literally has been shown to diminish the experience of pain.

We can do a mindfulness exercise where we simply put our focus on the pain. And this has been shown to reduce that level of pain. It has even been shown to help people heal quicker, because when we are not stressed about our pain, we are relaxed. And when we’re relaxed, our blood vessels are open, our body is able to heal more easily. Rich, oxygenated blood can get to every part of our body and bring healing blood cells to it.

So even if we’re feeling like this escape, my mental happy place, is so much better, it is still strengthening that underlying tendency of escapism, which is tied to fear and resistance. And the more we can break that cycle of fear and resistance, the more we’re going to invite healing energy into ourselves.

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The post Mindfulness Can Ease Emotional As Well As Physical Pain appeared first on EastWesticism.