Sam Pink's Blog, page 17

that shit where you're listening to someone talk to you f...

that shit where you're listening to someone talk to you for a while and you want to interrupt and say, 'man i don't know, but does it ever feel like your skull is made of sand and there's a bunch of magnets working against each other inside of it?'

donating my corpse to anyone who promises to make a youtu...

donating my corpse to anyone who promises to make a youtube video called, 'eating cookies with a corpse' where you/other people/whoever eat cookies with my corpse on the ground.

performance art piece where you try to do stand-up comedy...

performance art piece where you try to do stand-up comedy right after someone smashes both of your hips with a sledgehammer

something to do if you're at someone's house is act like ...

something to do if you're at someone's house is act like you're going to use the bathroom but then find a place to hide until that someone finds you, then not explain why you did that, then leave.

a violent but still very funny trend in crime would be pa...

a violent but still very funny trend in crime would be pairings of people around the city wearing football helmets and 'sandwiching' strangers by running and headbutting the stranger in the stomach and back at the same time then running away.

'superhero depression' where you feel invincible because ...

'superhero depression' where you feel invincible because you approach every situation in a completely practical way, saying/doing the minimum that needs to be said/done, maneuvering through it and the people it contains without care/hope/ambition/ego and so completely prepared for whatever happens and however it ends, accepting in advance there is no preferable way and even if there were you wouldn't deserve it.

one thing about feeling like a different person all the t...

one thing about feeling like a different person all the time is being able to look back on recent events and not only not understand who you were/the way you were acting, but also doubling up on the self-hated (via hating yourself at the moment and then in review as well, as a different person waiting to be remembered negatively).

saw a guy dressed like a futuristic cowboy--half a pretze...

saw a guy dressed like a futuristic cowboy--half a pretzel rod in his mouth, treating the pretzel rod like a cigarette--and i knew he could kick my ass

n'yeah!!

n'yeah!!

thanks to everyone in lawrence, kansas. really appr...

thanks to everyone in lawrence, kansas.  really appreciate all the hospitality/kindness.