Andrew Moore's Blog, page 46

Magnitude

There are two kinds of people: those who think giga is bigger than ultra and the reverse. Or so you'd think, but don't you change your mind every time you think about it? I bet you do.

Secret of the Well of Secrets

Outside the town of Dugnix was a well, and tradition held that if one whispered a secret into it, that secret would forever be kept. A harmless custom until Crime Sage Rykel heard about it.
"I will employ my new water-breathing magic for the purpose of gathering blackmail material," he told himself. No one else wanted to talk to him. He traveled alone to Dugnix and lowered himself into the well.
"Now there is nothing to do but wait," he thought, and what a long time he had in that, for the townsfolk did not accrue secrets so quickly as that. Bored, Rykel sank lower into the water, lower, lower, till he detected a powerful presence when it yelled at him.
"I am the Eater of Secrets Guzabansh! Get out of my well! It's at full capacity!"
There began a ferocious battle of magic and monster. Unquestionably Rykel had earned the sobriquet of "sage" through his superior ability, no matter how unscrupously he applied it. The monster however was a powerful thing not easily vanquished, and hideous as well. Rykel was glad he was unable to see anything down there.
Ferocious power burst forth from Rykel and destroyed Guzabansh along with the well. The townsfolk came to investigate, the braver ones first.
"I am Rykel the Crime Sage, and since it's come to this, tell me your secrets directly so I can blackmail you!" Drenched as he was, he looked less intimidating than he might have.
"We can stop feeding that terrible Guzabansh? Hurrah for Rykel!" The townsfolk demurred when it came to blackmail, but they threw Rykel a banquet, bestowed on him the honor of civic hero, and gave him a discount on purchases at all local vendors. He had to be content with that.
Finis

Addendum

You ever notice how often hypocrisy is rank? Not much else is.

Rank Hypocrisy

People get all worked up about turkey and potatoes in vaguely medieval fantasy, but they never say anything about coconuts, and when you break open the coconut there's a spirit inside that gives you magic armor that's obviously just power armor and the spirt becomes your sassy copilot. Can you believe these people?

Rank Hypocracy

People get all worked up about turkey and potatoes in vaguely medieval fantasy, but they never say anything about coconuts, and when you break open the coconut there's a spirit inside that gives you magic armor that's obviously just power armor and the spirt becomes your sassy copilot. Can you believe these people?

On Scandal

Remember that the people in your world might have different ideas of what constitutes scandal. For instance, being level 3 when you told everybody you were level 5 already, or going on trips to the Regular Planet where there aren't any planet-wide casinos or megacults.

An Important Warning

How often should books remind the reader to rest his eyes, do his homework/chores/social climbing, and get around to setting up those cameras? Every fifteen pages?

Addendum

In science fiction, the cool kids are writing RGB values to indicate colors.

The Changing Essence of Fantasy

Normal: Red
Old Fantasy: Crimson
New Fantasy: Riggidy Red

Wonders of Cultural Exchange

An unusual sight is the usual in a port city, but the most jaded confessed to amazement when across the ocean traveled a man toward them, not piloting a ship, rowing a boat, or even walking over the waves as if they were hills. Had that been true they would have figured him for a god, a straightforward enough matter.
Instead he was standing sideways on the broad blade of a sword larger than surely he was capable of wielding, they thought, until he rode it up the beach, picked it up, and leaned it casually against his shoulder. "Where is this? I am come exploring from the east," he announced.
Everyone wondered the same thing. "Welcome, visitor, but why did you travel in such a strange way?"
"What? Is there a better one?"
They showed him their ships and taught him everything about sailing, carpentry, and nautical engineering. The stranger learned so well that he became a renowned shipwright, adding his own innovations to a solid foundation of seamanship. One day he declared he had mastered their technology."But I don't see what's better about it." Saying that, he boarded his sword and left, never to return.
Finis