Andrew Moore's Blog, page 49

Words That Need More Synonyms

Door. Sure there are some, but "door" has such a dull sound.

Time Isn't Good for Much Else

A grand temple was constructed, by far the greatest in the world. After that, the people set about deciding what to do with it, since worship did not exist for the simple reason that gods had not been invented.
Realizing that, the people gathered together and said, "Wait, that doesn't make sense. We wouldn't have built a temple if there weren't any gods."
"That's right." The god of time stepped forward then. "But I sent you all back to the moment before we sprang into existence because I thought it would be funny. And I was right."
The people prayed to the god of time to return them, which he did, and the temple was consecrated to every god except the god of time. All the gods were greatly gratified, most of all the god of time who had gotten himself away from that temple made by and for total squares.
Finis

On Measurement

Have you ever noticed how confident characters usually are about sizes and distances? I'm sure it's a skill that can be practiced, but it seems like even people thrust into adventure know how long 40 yards are or how big a 56-square-meter object is.

Addendum

That doesn't mean your fantasy world can't be shaped like a trapezoid, or course. The gods probably see it that way, just like an RTS camera.

The Real Difference Between Fantasy and Science Fiction

The most fantasy shape is the circle. The most science fiction shape is the trapezoid.

Addendum

"Oh, look at how many little boots I can afford, I'm so important." - some jerk on a millipede, look how stupid he is

Overdoing It

Riding a centipede is pretty fresh, but that guy with the millipede? Just ridiculous. What does he think he's doing?

The Needs of Court

"Where is my marshal?" the king asked.
"Here, sire."
"Why aren't you fighting? You are dismissed. Where is my treasurer?"
"Here, sire."
"I see no treasure. You are dismissed. Where is my master of revels?"
"Here, sire."
"There is not the slightest sound of revelry in my palace. You are dismissed. Where is my master of mischief?"
"Here, sire."
"I have encountered no . . . wait, where are you?"
"Actually, sire, I am here. I hired a page to say 'here, sire' for me."
"Outstanding! You are now a duke. Where is my chamberlain?"
"Here, sire."
"I don't know what a chamberlain does. Find out."
Thus the chamberlain set forth, but nobody knew what he was supposed to be doing. They say on the night of the full moon you can sometimes hear him asking what his job is.
Finis

Acceptable Changes in Adaptations for Visual Media

Masks don't sound all that cool when they're described, but they look cool. Therefore everyone in the TV show or movie should be masked, regardless of the source material. The Greeks and Romans did it. Just look up what persona actually means.

Addendum

Maybe we can trick everybody into wearing VR setups for augmented literary experiences. Imagine hearing public domain music which kinda fits the text, all the while having your vitals monitored via your VR bodysuit so we can shock you if you start to fall asleep.