Andrew Moore's Blog, page 44

The Meaning of Boundaries

Two landowners, Etgald and Lodfin, finally settled where to place the fence. They promptly cooperated to see it done.
"This will resolve all disputes," Etgald said as he admired it. "What's on this side is mine."
"And my parcel is over here," Lodfin said, tapping his fingers on his arm. "But."
"But?"
"The fence."
"Yeah?"
"Whose is that?"
"Why, I suppose I don't have an answer for that just at this particular moment."
That was the beginning of Etgald and Lodfin's grand adventure to learn the meaning of the space between. Not only did they revolutionize geometry and contribute to mathematics, they also defeated the terrible Hidden Tyrant. When they got back home, they were both heroes and fully tolerant of each other's company. They kept the fence, though.
Finis

Speaking of the Xbox 360 Marketplace

Remember when Doritos made a game and it was decent? What an era.

Titles

Is there a weaker title than baronet? I bet baronets get bullied by everybody in public except pages, who do it in private. Baronet. Yeesh. Lesser Baron would be far better.

Addendum

But what if that isn't enough? Have a villain or rival guess at the plan, but guess wrong, and have him to repeat it to all of his associates until it gets to someone who knows the plan and says, "No, what will actually happen is . . ."

How to Write a Book Quickly

Start by having the main character come up with an intricate plan, then every time a new character is introduced, describe the plan again in full. You'll be done in no time.

Streamlining the Conceptual Process

When you're coming up with ideas for you next story, just brainwashing away, if you ever accidentally write "explore" or "interrogate" without immediately following that with some fantasy name, cross it out and write, "What if Al Capone was a dragon?" Then underline "dragon" thrice and run your pink highlighter over the entire question except that word "a."

A Terrible Secret

They don't want you to know this, but here in the digital era, books are judged entirely on their file size. Keep trying to hit that magic number, fellas! No, they won't tell you what it is.

Starter Town Fair

Hello there! It's a great time to visit, because our town fair begins today. It doesn't have anything to do with gods, heroes, or curses. In reality it's nothing but a big advertisement where we show off the quality of what we're producing this year. Still, we can't help but feel proud of our town when we look back on what we've made and what we've overcome.
Just look at what our gem cutters have done with the items our miners bring out when the mines aren't overrun by monsters, which is most of the year you know. That purity! That shine! That taste in settings! I can see you're entranced, and I don't blame you. I'm gratified by it, and so is everyone else in town.
Over there is the display of what our furriers have designated as their finest pieces yet to be shipped out. They're a local specialty; we get the pelts from the Fierce Wolves adventurers grind all day. You probably passed some on your way into town. Remember, no kill-stealing!
Has your eye been taken by that bronze of the twin gods of medicine and poison? It isn't a permanent fixture. The item store had it made out of the proceeds from potions and antidotes. Business is booming, isn't it? But not as much as for our favorite (and richest) private citizen, who funded the new town hall. He makes the treasure chests you see in every dungeon.
What's that cage for, you ask? I'm glad you asked. That's one of our most fun town traditions. You see, every year some daring thief tries to make off with, well, just look around! That isn't planned. It's just a consequence of human nature. Then we grab the thief and throw him in there. That's where we've been going this whole time! Enjoy your stay, and if you're lucky, a hero will come by who's willing to give you a second chance. Don't look like that. It happens more often than you'd think, because of the mines.
Finis

Important Science Question

Does each asteroid have its own god, or is there a single asteroid belt god?

Addender

Do you think Daffy Duck's real first name is Daffodil? I'm now convinced that it is.