Andrew Moore's Blog, page 28
January 6, 2025
The History of Fables
Once upon a time, people made up fables. Later, Microsoft released a game called that, so we all agreed not to put anything on the internet which would complicate searches about getting the best weapons and which property to buy first. The end.
January 5, 2025
Secret of Peregrine Platform
A single tug was enough. The line shot up, up, and up, nearly the entire height of the tower to deliver the snared fish to the tower's master, Crime Sage Rykel.
"A promising trial, but you're a bit small," he told the fish as he unhooked it. He dropped it so that it fell neatly in the little pond he had created for the experiment, not out of mercy but as a demonstration of skill. "Now I need only take over the Peregrine Platform and hover it over some filled pockets."
The Peregrine Platform was one name. Every region had its term for the strange object which traveled through the sky without evident purpose. Never had anyone boarded it so far as was known, but in no previous era had Rykel lived. With consummate technique he made use of a catapult to lob a likeness of himself aboard and then used his magic. As easily as that, he and the figure swapped places.
From there he moved to take control of it, but what was it? He discovered then that what men had long seen from below was the foundation of a grand mausoleum. Reasoning the source of power likeliest lay in the center, he approached the great portal, but he was not welcome there.Curses buffeted him and were repelled by skills that were eldritch, modern, and wholly his own. He reached for the door but saw it recede before him in an impossible movement he arrested with his guard-freezing spells, and the doom of death which fell on those who dared enter the ancient tombs shattered one of his twelve statues in his tower. Hostile forces opposed every step, but for nothing. He reached the center and purified it with borrowed holy power.
"Great sage!" A ghost appeared, which was nothing unexpected. "You have freed the kings of the Sky Tombs of Ganceras from our travails! Ages ago, we were overcome by the death-wizards of Alaonir and trapped as fuel for their magic, aware but impotent. Our fury however had its own force and struck continuously their lands, and does so still. Now we are released, and we release too the Alaonir Plain."
Rykel swapped with his effigy, leaving it to take the fall from the Sky Tombs which were even then dissolving. "My purse-fishing plan, ruined! But it must have been the Ullonik Curse-Storm that he meant. If that is truly gone, a route undiscovered by security is opened to the Eight-Tiger Vault. Off I go!" The kings of Ganceras watched him and rejoiced that the world yet had such sages in it. They departed then, and what befell them is not for mortals to know, but about the Vault and that the Crime Sage failed to rob it, all men learned it later.
Finis
"A promising trial, but you're a bit small," he told the fish as he unhooked it. He dropped it so that it fell neatly in the little pond he had created for the experiment, not out of mercy but as a demonstration of skill. "Now I need only take over the Peregrine Platform and hover it over some filled pockets."
The Peregrine Platform was one name. Every region had its term for the strange object which traveled through the sky without evident purpose. Never had anyone boarded it so far as was known, but in no previous era had Rykel lived. With consummate technique he made use of a catapult to lob a likeness of himself aboard and then used his magic. As easily as that, he and the figure swapped places.
From there he moved to take control of it, but what was it? He discovered then that what men had long seen from below was the foundation of a grand mausoleum. Reasoning the source of power likeliest lay in the center, he approached the great portal, but he was not welcome there.Curses buffeted him and were repelled by skills that were eldritch, modern, and wholly his own. He reached for the door but saw it recede before him in an impossible movement he arrested with his guard-freezing spells, and the doom of death which fell on those who dared enter the ancient tombs shattered one of his twelve statues in his tower. Hostile forces opposed every step, but for nothing. He reached the center and purified it with borrowed holy power.
"Great sage!" A ghost appeared, which was nothing unexpected. "You have freed the kings of the Sky Tombs of Ganceras from our travails! Ages ago, we were overcome by the death-wizards of Alaonir and trapped as fuel for their magic, aware but impotent. Our fury however had its own force and struck continuously their lands, and does so still. Now we are released, and we release too the Alaonir Plain."
Rykel swapped with his effigy, leaving it to take the fall from the Sky Tombs which were even then dissolving. "My purse-fishing plan, ruined! But it must have been the Ullonik Curse-Storm that he meant. If that is truly gone, a route undiscovered by security is opened to the Eight-Tiger Vault. Off I go!" The kings of Ganceras watched him and rejoiced that the world yet had such sages in it. They departed then, and what befell them is not for mortals to know, but about the Vault and that the Crime Sage failed to rob it, all men learned it later.
Finis
Some Science Fiction to Fantasy Conversions
Ship -> Spaceship
Deadly forest -> Asteroid belt
Dragon -> Evil corporation
Cleric -> Clerk
Magic sword -> Prototype
Intelligent talking familiar -> Robot buddy
Wizard -> Space wizard
Deadly forest -> Asteroid belt
Dragon -> Evil corporation
Cleric -> Clerk
Magic sword -> Prototype
Intelligent talking familiar -> Robot buddy
Wizard -> Space wizard
January 3, 2025
Science Fiction Horror
Here's the setup: It's the future . . . but we don't have spaceships. Boo!
What Science Fiction Is Missing
Quests. Both the thing and the word. People think they have to dress it up as missions assigned by a governmental organ, travel, or research. Quests. That's what people like.
January 2, 2025
The Spirit of the Chimney
A week later and I finally realize I should have been talking about "santasy" all this time.
January 1, 2025
Addendum
Granted, some of us are resolved to become arrogant young masters, but that isn't an exclusive goal.
December 30, 2024
Happy New Year
I would ask everyone's resolutions, but we all share the same one: To humble those arrogant young masters.
Perilous Symbolism
"Oh king, once, there was a wondrous egg! And when it hatched, three hundred sixty-five soldiers emerged from it, in full panoply!"The king considered. "There doesn't seem to be much of a point to that story."
"Oh king, it symbolizes—"
"We know what it symbolizes. Everyone knows what it symbolizes. Symbolism isn't substance. We have decided. Make us a soldier-hatching egg that we may defend our holdings the more effectively."
"But sire . . ."
And lo, the kingdom did not develop eggs capable of hatching three hundred sixty-five soldiers, but they did have armor in them, which was a great boon both militarily and economically. Literarily, the kingdom's writers moved away from empty symbolism for fear of being assigned an impossible task, another improvement.
Finis
"Oh king, it symbolizes—"
"We know what it symbolizes. Everyone knows what it symbolizes. Symbolism isn't substance. We have decided. Make us a soldier-hatching egg that we may defend our holdings the more effectively."
"But sire . . ."
And lo, the kingdom did not develop eggs capable of hatching three hundred sixty-five soldiers, but they did have armor in them, which was a great boon both militarily and economically. Literarily, the kingdom's writers moved away from empty symbolism for fear of being assigned an impossible task, another improvement.
Finis
December 28, 2024
Fireball
Why a ball? Isn't that kinda weird?
