Andrew Moore's Blog, page 29

Fantasy for the Modern Taste

An affordable house? Now that's a fantasy! Because there's a dragon in it, and what was cool shall remain cool.

Secrets of Orthography

Go ahead and misspell "parallel." Nobody will ever realize or care.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.
























----> Merry Christmas

Criticism's Sting

Have you ever seen something called "blandasy," "blantasy," or "blandtasy?" I haven't. Only today did I realize how odd that is.

But Once a Year

"Gentlemen! Our unprecedented new advertising campaign." The executive pressed a button on the table. An image appeared behind him of an orbital platform which, even as they watched, began ejecting payloads. "Within one hour, we will have delivered a complimentary bar of soap and a coupon to every household on the planet."
Amid the clapping, one junior executive said, "Now that's what I call a merry Christmas!"
"How so?"
"Well, because it's almost Christmas and we're delivering presents like Santa."
"You mean this has already been done? Why didn't anyone tell me? This is a debacle! Stop the launches!"
It was too late. Christmas had already come.
Finis

Chilling Science Fiction Tales

In the distant future, people will think of coal as a rare and valuable present because only Earth has any. Boo!

Zombie Varieties

1. Unintelligent zombies
2. Intelligent zombies
3. Zombies that know a lot of baseball statistics but are bad at evaluating player value

A Job Half-Done

If you wanted to write a porn parody of the latest Brandon Sanderson book, you probably start with Skin and, but I can't figure out the rest. Booty doesn't work, and neither does Couth.

A Shared Obligation

If your story doesn't have at least one made-up word in it, how can we make advancements in the language?

Addendum

As for butlers, flip a coin for scrupulous or unscrupulous before anything else.