Andrew Moore's Blog, page 19
April 8, 2025
Doubts Regarding Space Dragons
If we find space dragons, will scientists be reluctant to call them space dragons, or will they be all for it? Komodo dragons were a long time ago. Long enough to be retro. All right, I've decided, it's all space dragons from here on out. Though the "space" part might be a problem. Star dragons. Void dragons. Vacuum dragons. Stellar dragons.
April 6, 2025
Founding of the Space Patrol
Volunteers packed the auditorium. Volunteers to become the first of the Space Patrol.
"The importance of your duties cannot be exaggerated," the general told them. "To survey astronomical bodies, to combat space piracy, to swing by the other side of the sun from time to time and check nothing untoward is going on back there. I know you all expect as much, but understand this."
He surveyed the body before him, thousands of men and women distinguished by courage and ability. "Out of everyone who enters the training, a few will die. A third will wash out. And a fourth of those who remain . . . They will have to become space pirates, because there aren't any to combat yet. A fourth for now. We're still unsure of the proper proportion."
"Can't we just wait for people to take that up themselves?" one volunteer asked.
"There's the first washout."
"I'm not saying I won't do it. I think we all just want to fly around in spaceships."
"Glad to have you back in the program, son."
Finis
"The importance of your duties cannot be exaggerated," the general told them. "To survey astronomical bodies, to combat space piracy, to swing by the other side of the sun from time to time and check nothing untoward is going on back there. I know you all expect as much, but understand this."
He surveyed the body before him, thousands of men and women distinguished by courage and ability. "Out of everyone who enters the training, a few will die. A third will wash out. And a fourth of those who remain . . . They will have to become space pirates, because there aren't any to combat yet. A fourth for now. We're still unsure of the proper proportion."
"Can't we just wait for people to take that up themselves?" one volunteer asked.
"There's the first washout."
"I'm not saying I won't do it. I think we all just want to fly around in spaceships."
"Glad to have you back in the program, son."
Finis
A Seismic Conundrum
"Earthquake" already sounds like a fantasy term, so do fantasy authors have to come up with a new term for it? That's before getting into fanciful causes for them. Or is it? Perhaps an earthquake caused by a catfish should have a different name from one caused to two smiths competing to create the strongest suit of armor underground. The latter would I suppose be a hoploclasm, and as for the former, "thrashwhisker." Those are bad, and therefore they fit in with "earthquake."
April 4, 2025
Addendum
I'm not saying wizards aren't real, but if I can pretend to raise a dog, reality is demonstrably no bar.
April 3, 2025
The Age of Videogames Is Ended
Now that we know what the next generation's prices are going to be, people will finally realize that instead of paying $500 to pretend to race, they should spend $20 to pretend wizards are real. Let's just hope they never find out they can pay $0 to read a history of Cuba written in 1920.
April 2, 2025
Addendum
You can prove it wasn't a real leak now though.
You Can't Prove This Isn't a Real Leak
I can't believe the Switch 2 is actually an e-reader that can play Snake! What a change in direction! It looks like ebooks win again.
April 1, 2025
The Future of Theater
Little robot fellas performing plays on your dinner table while you eat. They get the scripts from the cloud, which is a very futuristic place, and they provide their own music and sound effects on separate channels from that which their voices use.
March 30, 2025
The World of Prophecy Is Limitless
The oracle declared, "A whale and a lion will fight in the middle of the city!"
The wisest debated the hidden significance, whether it referred to a debate over strengthening the army or the navy for example, until one day a whale and a lion fought in the middle of the city.
"But now we need a reverse oracle to explain why that happened," one of the prominent citizens said, but in the meantime the people consulted the oracle again.
"A whale and a lion will fight in the middle of the city!"
"The same ones?"
To that the oracle had no answer. The citizens therefore waited, and they learned when next the event occurred that it was a different lion, though about the whale they were unsure. The original lion returned for the third match however.
The citizens became so used to tthat state of affairs that they were unprepared when new mines were discovered and a debate began over strengthening the army or the navy, but that struck them as trivial compared to the other matter. In the end, they relied on the lions and whales to dissuade invaders and spent the money on a new racecourse.
Finis
The wisest debated the hidden significance, whether it referred to a debate over strengthening the army or the navy for example, until one day a whale and a lion fought in the middle of the city.
"But now we need a reverse oracle to explain why that happened," one of the prominent citizens said, but in the meantime the people consulted the oracle again.
"A whale and a lion will fight in the middle of the city!"
"The same ones?"
To that the oracle had no answer. The citizens therefore waited, and they learned when next the event occurred that it was a different lion, though about the whale they were unsure. The original lion returned for the third match however.
The citizens became so used to tthat state of affairs that they were unprepared when new mines were discovered and a debate began over strengthening the army or the navy, but that struck them as trivial compared to the other matter. In the end, they relied on the lions and whales to dissuade invaders and spent the money on a new racecourse.
Finis
Addendum
I realize nobody uses hep anymore, but by the time science fiction happens, it might be back.
