Andrew Moore's Blog, page 16
May 8, 2025
Anatomical Speculation
Unicorns are probably stupid, right? 'Cause they got all that weight in their noggin as a counterweight for the horn? Or maybe it's hyper-dense brain matter and unicorns are really smart. I doubt it though.
Published on May 08, 2025 03:07
May 7, 2025
Addendum
Though if underground horrors keep popping out, the digging of holes might be highly regulated. Maybe people in that situation invent air golf.
Published on May 07, 2025 02:15
May 6, 2025
Sporting Contorting
The problem with coming up with a fun fantasy equivalent of golf is that everybody would probably just invent golf. You hit a ball into a hole. Everybody has those.
Published on May 06, 2025 02:14
May 5, 2025
A Lamentable Rejection
The officials presented their recommendation. While both plans for the new palace appeared to them both feasible and admirable, one far exceeded the other in excellence.
"Then we shall have the worse one."
The decision befuddled the officials involved, those not involved, and the entire cloud of courtiers and functionaries, to say nothing of the architects themselves, who had been permitted to hear the conference. Perceiving the sovereign to be in a calm and even mood, the officials begged for a few more words that they might understand the decision.
The emperor made them be silent. "Say nothing more about it. We have our instructions. The creator of the better plans, is he here? He is to leave, unaccompanied."
The sovereigns' words added to the general bafflement, but what could be done? The officials bowed and the discouraged architect backed out of the audience chamber. Downcast as he was, he did not notice, standing before the great portal to the palace, the herald of the great god, not till that luminary spoke.
"You, architect. You are recommended by the only human we heed as the candidate best suited for the work. Come with me now to beginning planning the new heaven." Saying that, the architect was taken away, and when he returned, he held wondrous treasures.
Finis
"Then we shall have the worse one."
The decision befuddled the officials involved, those not involved, and the entire cloud of courtiers and functionaries, to say nothing of the architects themselves, who had been permitted to hear the conference. Perceiving the sovereign to be in a calm and even mood, the officials begged for a few more words that they might understand the decision.
The emperor made them be silent. "Say nothing more about it. We have our instructions. The creator of the better plans, is he here? He is to leave, unaccompanied."
The sovereigns' words added to the general bafflement, but what could be done? The officials bowed and the discouraged architect backed out of the audience chamber. Downcast as he was, he did not notice, standing before the great portal to the palace, the herald of the great god, not till that luminary spoke.
"You, architect. You are recommended by the only human we heed as the candidate best suited for the work. Come with me now to beginning planning the new heaven." Saying that, the architect was taken away, and when he returned, he held wondrous treasures.
Finis
Published on May 05, 2025 00:43
May 3, 2025
Addendum
Deciduous tree monsters look like warriors in summer and wizards in winter, but they're actually rogues. They're just limited in their opportunities.
Published on May 03, 2025 22:38
Nuances of Fantasy Professions
I bet successful lumberjacks are both educated and canny beyond most, what with all those dryads and forest spirits and whatnot that can cause them trouble. If there are outright tree monsters, the lumberjacks must be powerful champions as well.
Published on May 03, 2025 00:36
May 2, 2025
Degrading Appropriation
Gambit used to be a perfectly good word, but now people think of either chess or X-men when they hear it, which is desirable occasionally but not in the majority of circumstances.
Published on May 02, 2025 02:43
May 1, 2025
Changing Course
Tired of your main character? Don't want to write about him anymore? Simply start the next book by having him hear about the adventures of a different, far more interesting character. You'll fool everybody.
Published on May 01, 2025 02:24
April 30, 2025
Addendum
That old sailor is a sea god, but you won't find that out for a few books, or maybe in an interview.
Published on April 30, 2025 03:12
April 29, 2025
Number One Reason to Include a Map in Your Book
Your characters can flip to it if they get lost. Nobody wants to wait fifty pages while they try to remember what they heard about stars once from an old sailor.
Published on April 29, 2025 03:31