Andrew Moore's Blog, page 151
August 2, 2021
A Common Scenario
That day, the conditions inside the club were so clear and cool, so conducive to the state between sleep and waking, that the members were able to persuade Gorilla Mage Honorius to tell them a tale about how he learned his gorilla magic.
"I was attending a function in Farther Deul some years back, and I hope you don't want to know its purpose or the host, because I have entirely forgotten. What I remember is that it was a masked affair, and a man wearing a gorilla mask coughed on me. Rude, but I didn't dwell on that. I also didn't worry about the dreams and visions I had afterwards, because everyone has one or two of those, but after a week of it I lost my indifference.
"I asked advice from the learned there. A sage told me I would never find out who the man was or what my dreams meant, but also that I needed to find the Gorilla Pillar if I wanted them to stop. Have any of you heard of it? I hadn't. It turned out to be a place far beyond Farther Deul's borders. The dangers might have dissuaded anyone with sense, but I was young, and I wanted my dreams back.
"I hired men and made the journey. We passed cities, then towns, then villages, then huts of hermits and sages. Those ended, too. We were assaulted by the birds that hunt cameleopards, for they had little prey left, but I thrashed them. We encountered the Eight-Finger Men as well. After some roughhousing, we understood each other. I had to sniff out Chameleon Mage Waltherius and give him a beating when he tried to make mischief."
"No hard feelings, I hope," Waltherius said.
"None at all. I'm sure all those trials had a meaning. At least we came to the Gorilla Pillar, so named from the gorilla statue atop it. I sat under it and meditated for two days and three nights, and when I stood I knew the fundamentals of gorilla magic. That was only the start, but all of you understand that well." The other members all nodded and thanked him for the story.
Finis
"I was attending a function in Farther Deul some years back, and I hope you don't want to know its purpose or the host, because I have entirely forgotten. What I remember is that it was a masked affair, and a man wearing a gorilla mask coughed on me. Rude, but I didn't dwell on that. I also didn't worry about the dreams and visions I had afterwards, because everyone has one or two of those, but after a week of it I lost my indifference.
"I asked advice from the learned there. A sage told me I would never find out who the man was or what my dreams meant, but also that I needed to find the Gorilla Pillar if I wanted them to stop. Have any of you heard of it? I hadn't. It turned out to be a place far beyond Farther Deul's borders. The dangers might have dissuaded anyone with sense, but I was young, and I wanted my dreams back.
"I hired men and made the journey. We passed cities, then towns, then villages, then huts of hermits and sages. Those ended, too. We were assaulted by the birds that hunt cameleopards, for they had little prey left, but I thrashed them. We encountered the Eight-Finger Men as well. After some roughhousing, we understood each other. I had to sniff out Chameleon Mage Waltherius and give him a beating when he tried to make mischief."
"No hard feelings, I hope," Waltherius said.
"None at all. I'm sure all those trials had a meaning. At least we came to the Gorilla Pillar, so named from the gorilla statue atop it. I sat under it and meditated for two days and three nights, and when I stood I knew the fundamentals of gorilla magic. That was only the start, but all of you understand that well." The other members all nodded and thanked him for the story.
Finis
August 1, 2021
The Newest Locked Room Mystery
In a room with no windows that is barred from the inside, a man and a skeleton are found. If that guy didn't raise the skeleton, who did? The detective begins his investigation.
July 31, 2021
Don't Get Any Ideas
Raising corpses is going to be ultra-illegal pretty much everywhere, you aspiring necromancers, you.
July 30, 2021
A Legal Question
Is being a demon king even illegal? How about trying to become a god? Reactivating ancient war machines? Suppose you awaken a lich from his thousand-year slumber, what kind of fine are we looking at?
July 29, 2021
The New Golden Age of Mystery
Great Ace Attorney Chronicles and Tears of Themis? Lawyer-detectives are everywhere these days, so be on your guard.
July 28, 2021
Getting Inspiration From Current Events
New scifi idea: Great Space Attorney. How do I come up with these things?
July 27, 2021
Increase the Fantasy
You've put all your islands in the sky and made every sword magic. You think you're all done fantastasizing your world. Consider this, though: Dire purple. Underwednesday. No'on.
July 26, 2021
Unseen Guests
I accepted the invitation to stay at Fernley House against the warnings of my friends on the basis that their warnings, while both sincere and repeatedly urged, lacked specifics, and therefore appeared vague next to the much more detailed fact that my recent labors had quite prepared me for a period of rest and relaxation at some charming country estate such as even my friends allowed Fernley House to be.
After a trip which gave no reason to record it, I was welcomed most hospitably and spent an affable afternoon with the host and other guests whose names, I am sure all will agree, I ought not to expose to public attention without more cause than I have. Afterwards, I was shown to my room, which impressed me by its size as I calculated it based on the length between its door and the next. The other doors in that hall, I noticed, were similarly distant from one another. I asked the servant who had conducted me there, who shall also remain unidentified, if the rooms were truly so large as they appeared.
"Not at all, sir. They are only half the size you think. The other half is taken up by, well, the 'other room,' sir."
I am not unacquainted with the ways of the world, I think, and yet I had at that time no clue what the man might mean. I inquired further.
"The 'other room,' sir. For the 'other you' as well as the 'other guests.' We certainly cannot neglect their accommodations, can we? But do not concern yourself, sir. You are quite unable to reach the doors to their rooms, just as they, yours. I hope you have a good night, sir."
Feeling no more informed, I entered my room, which lacked nothing as far as amenities or comfort. I attempted to sleep, and I succeeded despite my suspicions I would not. However, I was awakened several times during the night by sounds such as voices and thumps which I do not care to describe out of an inability to do so first, and second out of concern for the sensibilities of any who might read this. Suffice it to say I would not have been surprised to hear of a corpse or even a scandal the next day, but nothing of the sort came to my attention. My excursion continued pleasantly enough, though I suspected from their expressions and mannerisms that some of the other guests had also experienced a troubling night.
When my stay came to an end, the host told me he was always unsure which guest truly left, between the one he had invited and the 'other you.' He then laughed and said of course both left together by necessity, and that I should think nothing more of it, which of course caused me to worry when I had no reason to before.
Nevertheless, I resumed my accustomed occupation and over time all but forgot the incident till years later, when I happened to find myself to Duke S_, who had been a guest at Fernley House at the same time as I. We talked of nothing important, as people do when there is a topic they fear to broach. Eventually Duke S_ exercised the privilege of his profession and asked what I thought of that 'other you' business.
"At the least," I responded, "I take solace in the assurance that 'me' is in fact 'other.'"
"Quite right, that is something, isn't it. Glad I asked."
Even so, I sometimes wonder what sort of life the 'other me' leads, and I shudder.
Finis
After a trip which gave no reason to record it, I was welcomed most hospitably and spent an affable afternoon with the host and other guests whose names, I am sure all will agree, I ought not to expose to public attention without more cause than I have. Afterwards, I was shown to my room, which impressed me by its size as I calculated it based on the length between its door and the next. The other doors in that hall, I noticed, were similarly distant from one another. I asked the servant who had conducted me there, who shall also remain unidentified, if the rooms were truly so large as they appeared.
"Not at all, sir. They are only half the size you think. The other half is taken up by, well, the 'other room,' sir."
I am not unacquainted with the ways of the world, I think, and yet I had at that time no clue what the man might mean. I inquired further.
"The 'other room,' sir. For the 'other you' as well as the 'other guests.' We certainly cannot neglect their accommodations, can we? But do not concern yourself, sir. You are quite unable to reach the doors to their rooms, just as they, yours. I hope you have a good night, sir."
Feeling no more informed, I entered my room, which lacked nothing as far as amenities or comfort. I attempted to sleep, and I succeeded despite my suspicions I would not. However, I was awakened several times during the night by sounds such as voices and thumps which I do not care to describe out of an inability to do so first, and second out of concern for the sensibilities of any who might read this. Suffice it to say I would not have been surprised to hear of a corpse or even a scandal the next day, but nothing of the sort came to my attention. My excursion continued pleasantly enough, though I suspected from their expressions and mannerisms that some of the other guests had also experienced a troubling night.
When my stay came to an end, the host told me he was always unsure which guest truly left, between the one he had invited and the 'other you.' He then laughed and said of course both left together by necessity, and that I should think nothing more of it, which of course caused me to worry when I had no reason to before.
Nevertheless, I resumed my accustomed occupation and over time all but forgot the incident till years later, when I happened to find myself to Duke S_, who had been a guest at Fernley House at the same time as I. We talked of nothing important, as people do when there is a topic they fear to broach. Eventually Duke S_ exercised the privilege of his profession and asked what I thought of that 'other you' business.
"At the least," I responded, "I take solace in the assurance that 'me' is in fact 'other.'"
"Quite right, that is something, isn't it. Glad I asked."
Even so, I sometimes wonder what sort of life the 'other me' leads, and I shudder.
Finis
July 25, 2021
The Newest Genre
Spience Fiction. Get in on the ground floor!
July 24, 2021
Another Idea
Trilogy? Try Thrillogy. Whatever Stormlight Archive is? Try Megaseries.
