Andrew Moore's Blog, page 149
August 22, 2021
Actually It Always Works
"You have done well to reach my castle, whelps. However!" The dark wizard Krazath threw his arms wide and gestured behind him with his spiral-headed staff. "Behold as my stronghold rises beyond your meager reach! Kuhahahaha!"
Fractures split the ground and the earth behind the wicked sorcerer began to rise, an inverted mountain below a dread citadel. Rocks and clods of earth fell below as the unnatural mass rose to rule over the birds and clouds. On its way, however, it tilted, and the topsoil slid off with the castle on it. The edifice fortified with eldritch enchantments smashed into the ground as Krazath watched, while behind him the heroes readied their holy weapons.
Has this ever happened to you? If not, it could if you neglect to test your schemes before carrying them out. No matter how lucky you are, overlooking only one flaw or leaving one screw untightened can ruin the plans of decades or centuries.
Only last month a mad scientist's heinous creation failed to turn on him just as he revealed it, turning the drama into a farce. Before that, a villain transformed into a grotesque creature that lacked a single eyeball. What a sad end for his exalted ambitions!
Our representatives can put you in contact with owners of underused realities ready to bear a calamity or two. The heroes defeated countless underlings before attempting to defeat you. Can you do any less?
Finis
Fractures split the ground and the earth behind the wicked sorcerer began to rise, an inverted mountain below a dread citadel. Rocks and clods of earth fell below as the unnatural mass rose to rule over the birds and clouds. On its way, however, it tilted, and the topsoil slid off with the castle on it. The edifice fortified with eldritch enchantments smashed into the ground as Krazath watched, while behind him the heroes readied their holy weapons.
Has this ever happened to you? If not, it could if you neglect to test your schemes before carrying them out. No matter how lucky you are, overlooking only one flaw or leaving one screw untightened can ruin the plans of decades or centuries.
Only last month a mad scientist's heinous creation failed to turn on him just as he revealed it, turning the drama into a farce. Before that, a villain transformed into a grotesque creature that lacked a single eyeball. What a sad end for his exalted ambitions!
Our representatives can put you in contact with owners of underused realities ready to bear a calamity or two. The heroes defeated countless underlings before attempting to defeat you. Can you do any less?
Finis
August 21, 2021
August 20, 2021
Now Hear Me Out
Foundation . . . for Danger!!!
August 19, 2021
More Like Tales of Put It Back Down
The Tales of Arise demo is the perfect modern game, full of petty annoyances to increase player engagement. Cooking after battles? I think not, my friend. Go back to this campsite that's just sitting in the middle of a regular RPG area for no reason. You deserve to rest after watching cinematic animations kill all the enemies for you and pressing the X button on items they had to make sparkle because they don't stand out from the dull green and brown terrain in any way. Then enjoy some ugly models standing still like they were in a cheap Spider-Man game while they discuss their single personality trait each. It has a crafting system, because not including one incurs a hefty fine or possibly prison. What an unpleasant mess.
August 18, 2021
Now That's What I Call a Fantastic Day!
Konosuba's out, so now I have to pretend I like Konosuba for a week to get some ad money. I mean, I love that Kazunori guy.
August 17, 2021
More Ys II
Also the way monsters can spawn right in front of you is messed up. Most of your equipment does so little there doesn't seem much point in buying it except that money isn't good for anything else. The final boss is the sort that requires some luck to beat, at least for most players, which means we go into the final credits thinking about how lucky we got instead of what a fun fight or game it was.
Some Thoughts on Ys II
Spoilers!
Now there's a game with ambition far beyond its competence. It adds shooting action to the good old bump combat, but the way enemies are knocked back based on their facing rather than where they're hit and the fact that you have to wait a million years to fire again if your fireball has to pass off the screen whereas you can machine-gun anyone in seconds if you hit make it unsatisfying. It tries to dial up the adventure aspects with little gimmicks you might use once or twice and endless backtracking across a senseless mass of buildings and sewers.
Ys itself is an unsatisfying land for adventure. That ancient vanished land of magic and mystery turns out to be three villages with a bunch of monsters all over. What have the monsters been doing for all those centuries before Adol showed up? Chilling, I guess. What have the Ysians been doing? Inbreeding, probably.
The game lacks a sense of place and, therefore, a sense of progress. Where is Solomon Shrine in relation to the rest of the island? I dunno, over there. It's not like you climb to it or anything. Why do you have to go through a lava area? Who knows? What are those tiny rooms in Solomon Shrine for? Adol feels like he's passing through unrelated areas, not making his way toward an ultimate destination.
The characters aren't really characters and the story isn't really a story. The way cleria relates to everything else is weird. It seems as if it's just thrown in sometimes. "You have to defeat the demons, and also, cleria. The magic created demons, even though Darm says he's ten thousand years old, so we have to take away the magic, and also people mined silver, which did something. Maybe." The whole thing, for all the backstory put into it, feels less satisfying and less real than killing some jerk who's doing something bad for more power.
I'm going to be entirely honest and admit that no, I did not remember Feena. That wasn't really much of a moment. They knew each other for approximately forty minutes.
The slow text is bad, and forcing you to sit through it every time you check up with old NPCs or want to restore your MP. Little moments like how the initial conversation with the goddesses triggers both when you enter the room and when you leave it waste your time and make the game feel sloppy.
All in all I give Ys II my knockbackinest rating, bird in a platformer/10.
Now there's a game with ambition far beyond its competence. It adds shooting action to the good old bump combat, but the way enemies are knocked back based on their facing rather than where they're hit and the fact that you have to wait a million years to fire again if your fireball has to pass off the screen whereas you can machine-gun anyone in seconds if you hit make it unsatisfying. It tries to dial up the adventure aspects with little gimmicks you might use once or twice and endless backtracking across a senseless mass of buildings and sewers.
Ys itself is an unsatisfying land for adventure. That ancient vanished land of magic and mystery turns out to be three villages with a bunch of monsters all over. What have the monsters been doing for all those centuries before Adol showed up? Chilling, I guess. What have the Ysians been doing? Inbreeding, probably.
The game lacks a sense of place and, therefore, a sense of progress. Where is Solomon Shrine in relation to the rest of the island? I dunno, over there. It's not like you climb to it or anything. Why do you have to go through a lava area? Who knows? What are those tiny rooms in Solomon Shrine for? Adol feels like he's passing through unrelated areas, not making his way toward an ultimate destination.
The characters aren't really characters and the story isn't really a story. The way cleria relates to everything else is weird. It seems as if it's just thrown in sometimes. "You have to defeat the demons, and also, cleria. The magic created demons, even though Darm says he's ten thousand years old, so we have to take away the magic, and also people mined silver, which did something. Maybe." The whole thing, for all the backstory put into it, feels less satisfying and less real than killing some jerk who's doing something bad for more power.
I'm going to be entirely honest and admit that no, I did not remember Feena. That wasn't really much of a moment. They knew each other for approximately forty minutes.
The slow text is bad, and forcing you to sit through it every time you check up with old NPCs or want to restore your MP. Little moments like how the initial conversation with the goddesses triggers both when you enter the room and when you leave it waste your time and make the game feel sloppy.
All in all I give Ys II my knockbackinest rating, bird in a platformer/10.
August 16, 2021
Scheduling
"Your town does have a fine plaza, I confess. I do wonder one thing about it."
"What's that?"
"It seems sellers from one guild only are doing business here. I'm sure that helps keep the space open and orderly, but how do they decide which guild is permitted to make use of it? Is there a schedule of some sort?"
"I must declare you have chosen a good time to ask. Take a look over there." Welvin nodded toward the far side so as to guide his companion's gaze as the ground shook beneath them. A giant entered the plaza from the right, a clattering giant of clay and vim. From the left floated a great sheet draped over a person who was not there.
"Oyez, oyez! Ladies and gentlemen of the Dyers Guild, please pack up your stalls! Everyone else, keep your distance! The battle between Pottery Golem and Textile Ghost begins . . . NOW!" The crier threw a flag down in the middle of the plaza and ran. Pottery Golem swiveled on its expertly crafted hips and swung its massive fists while Textile Ghost floated around the blows and bumped into its opponent, each action winning cheers from the watching members of the Potters Guild and Textiles Guild respectively.
"That ought to clear it all up, I think."
"Very much so."
Finis
"What's that?"
"It seems sellers from one guild only are doing business here. I'm sure that helps keep the space open and orderly, but how do they decide which guild is permitted to make use of it? Is there a schedule of some sort?"
"I must declare you have chosen a good time to ask. Take a look over there." Welvin nodded toward the far side so as to guide his companion's gaze as the ground shook beneath them. A giant entered the plaza from the right, a clattering giant of clay and vim. From the left floated a great sheet draped over a person who was not there.
"Oyez, oyez! Ladies and gentlemen of the Dyers Guild, please pack up your stalls! Everyone else, keep your distance! The battle between Pottery Golem and Textile Ghost begins . . . NOW!" The crier threw a flag down in the middle of the plaza and ran. Pottery Golem swiveled on its expertly crafted hips and swung its massive fists while Textile Ghost floated around the blows and bumped into its opponent, each action winning cheers from the watching members of the Potters Guild and Textiles Guild respectively.
"That ought to clear it all up, I think."
"Very much so."
Finis
August 15, 2021
A Firm Conclusion
After finishing The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, I can confidently state Apollo is a better character than Phoenix.
August 13, 2021
The Sad State of Adaptations
Discworld Monopoly, Harry Potter Quidditch gacha, The Misenchanted Sword musicals . . . so much money is being left on the table. What can explain it. Only one thing: Corruption at the highest levels.
