Andrew Moore's Blog, page 113
August 23, 2022
Currency and Worldbuilding
When you're coming up with dumb names for your fantasy coins, remember that they're all debased. Every single coin.
August 22, 2022
Pioneer Concerns
Another historic day! Every day seemed historic, or rather, was historic. How could it not be in New Jericho, humanity's first city on another planet? The governor did a few stretches. He needed to be historically serious to deal with the momentous, era-defining task he had the unique opportunity to complete.
On his desk waited the first, no, the inaugural New Jericho survey. The colonists, chosen from a vast population by not only the examination board set up at the sponsors' request but also by their own daring personalities, had all been consulted as to the state of the city in every important facet. Beyond that, they were encouraged to write in the empty portion any items they believed to be essential for the city's prosperity that had been neglected to that point.
Governor Erle Drake sat himself down and read through the surveys, ebullient at first, then disconcerted, and at last positively discombobulated. "But . . . but . . ." His composure abandoned him just as he had left Earth. Dashing to the balcony, he yelled, "Who is it? Who thinks the most pressing business is . . . is . . . remaking astrological charts?"
"Me," a structural engineer passing below said.
"Same," concurred a nearby psychiatrist. "The stars are all different here, so, you know."
"I suppose!" Governor Drake clenched the railing and tried to expel the scorn from his words. "I suppose that next you would like us to establish a commission, for the purpose, of inventing, a creation myth for this planet! And its people!" The scorn was still there. "Oh, can we do that?" A crowd gathered below the capitol building.
"That sounds great!"
"I hope we get something more inspiring than a celestial egg."
"Can it have dragons in it?"
"Better be some incest. Not a proper creation myth without it."
"How about this for a start: once upon a time, matter was energy, and energy matter."
And so a commission was formed, and the governor lost a spoonful of enthusiasm. The next historic event corrected that deficiency, however. There was no shortage of those.
Finis
On his desk waited the first, no, the inaugural New Jericho survey. The colonists, chosen from a vast population by not only the examination board set up at the sponsors' request but also by their own daring personalities, had all been consulted as to the state of the city in every important facet. Beyond that, they were encouraged to write in the empty portion any items they believed to be essential for the city's prosperity that had been neglected to that point.
Governor Erle Drake sat himself down and read through the surveys, ebullient at first, then disconcerted, and at last positively discombobulated. "But . . . but . . ." His composure abandoned him just as he had left Earth. Dashing to the balcony, he yelled, "Who is it? Who thinks the most pressing business is . . . is . . . remaking astrological charts?"
"Me," a structural engineer passing below said.
"Same," concurred a nearby psychiatrist. "The stars are all different here, so, you know."
"I suppose!" Governor Drake clenched the railing and tried to expel the scorn from his words. "I suppose that next you would like us to establish a commission, for the purpose, of inventing, a creation myth for this planet! And its people!" The scorn was still there. "Oh, can we do that?" A crowd gathered below the capitol building.
"That sounds great!"
"I hope we get something more inspiring than a celestial egg."
"Can it have dragons in it?"
"Better be some incest. Not a proper creation myth without it."
"How about this for a start: once upon a time, matter was energy, and energy matter."
And so a commission was formed, and the governor lost a spoonful of enthusiasm. The next historic event corrected that deficiency, however. There was no shortage of those.
Finis
August 20, 2022
Sample Roguelit Names
Roger
Rogyr
Rauger
Rojer
Raujur
Rahzhurr
Rogyr
Rauger
Rojer
Raujur
Rahzhurr
The Newest Narrative Techniques
All the cool kids are killing off the viewpoint character at the end of every chapter. The thrills! Plus the artistry of the writer is revealed in coming up with all those names. It's called Roguelit, and it's waiting for you!
August 19, 2022
Style Note
Anyone interested in fantasy will be reminded of the existence of beards merely by looking at an author. That's all well and good, but don't forget that mustaches used to be popular, too.
August 18, 2022
The Ideal Adventuring Party
A main character nobody likes
More experienced guy who doesn't seem to do any better overall
A woodsman with a secret
Girl
Stick to that and nobody will fail to be impressed.
More experienced guy who doesn't seem to do any better overall
A woodsman with a secret
Girl
Stick to that and nobody will fail to be impressed.
August 17, 2022
The Essentials of Worldbuilding
1) A successful ruler everybody knows
2) An unsuccessful ruler everybody knows
3) A poem everybody knows
4) Sports!
Congratulations! Now it looks as if you put thought into your setting, which means it's time to stop. Nobody likes an overachiever.
2) An unsuccessful ruler everybody knows
3) A poem everybody knows
4) Sports!
Congratulations! Now it looks as if you put thought into your setting, which means it's time to stop. Nobody likes an overachiever.
August 16, 2022
How To Use Adjectives
The more the better. For instance, imagine something that's big. Your mom, for instance. Now imagine something that's most tremendous big. That can only be an aircraft carrier or your mom after Thanksgiving. But what's most awful tremendous big? The mind reels.
August 15, 2022
Pity Has Its Weight
The blessed rains cleared up in time for people to continue thinking them blessed. Even that blot could be seen, as occurred on only the clearest days.
"Ah, there's the city of the saints, watching over us as always."
"You're a fool, Sidim. That's the left eye of the Dour Navigator, looking for the right, and there's isn't too much that's benevolent about it."
Nothing suited people lounging in the street better than speculating or inventing stories about the dot in the sky, and nobody imagined his words would be taken seriously. That is, until that day when a stranger walked in who looked as if he had never heard speech less serious than a priest's at a coronation.
"It's none of those things. Better for me that it was, but no. That is the Sky Tomb. Listen to what I say about it. Once, this was centuries ago I suppose, but once, there was a man who gained everything by crimes and atrocities. Even saying his name is a curse, but I am cursed all the way through already. Orsarius was it, and when he died, wealthy and powerful, the ruler of a kingdom. It subjects were glad to forget its name. Only among men is such injustice allowed. When we buried him, the earth and sky both refused his wicked tomb. Now it stays forever between them, and we laborers walk the world, telling everyone of it. Someday, I am sure, the tomb will be destroyed. Then I will be freed. I am sure."
The stranger walked on, and none dared raise any doubts about his story. Most believing of all was Rimarin, who stated years later that was the day he decided to become a hero. And you do not believe me that ever men saw the Sky Tomb above them, ask Rimarin what he did there.
Finis
"Ah, there's the city of the saints, watching over us as always."
"You're a fool, Sidim. That's the left eye of the Dour Navigator, looking for the right, and there's isn't too much that's benevolent about it."
Nothing suited people lounging in the street better than speculating or inventing stories about the dot in the sky, and nobody imagined his words would be taken seriously. That is, until that day when a stranger walked in who looked as if he had never heard speech less serious than a priest's at a coronation.
"It's none of those things. Better for me that it was, but no. That is the Sky Tomb. Listen to what I say about it. Once, this was centuries ago I suppose, but once, there was a man who gained everything by crimes and atrocities. Even saying his name is a curse, but I am cursed all the way through already. Orsarius was it, and when he died, wealthy and powerful, the ruler of a kingdom. It subjects were glad to forget its name. Only among men is such injustice allowed. When we buried him, the earth and sky both refused his wicked tomb. Now it stays forever between them, and we laborers walk the world, telling everyone of it. Someday, I am sure, the tomb will be destroyed. Then I will be freed. I am sure."
The stranger walked on, and none dared raise any doubts about his story. Most believing of all was Rimarin, who stated years later that was the day he decided to become a hero. And you do not believe me that ever men saw the Sky Tomb above them, ask Rimarin what he did there.
Finis
August 13, 2022
Who's the Narrator?
Ask yourself that when you write your story. Even if it's an omniscient viewpoint who isn't a character, is that viewpoint speaking to contemporaries of the story, generations to come, modern audiences, or what? Comparing something to a helicopter, for example, is definitely out of place for Drizzt to say, but not necessarily for the narrator. What kind of references would the narrator use, or what actions would he applaud or condemn?
