Andrew Moore's Blog, page 110

The New Genre Divisions

Here's how we divide fantasy from now on.
Wizards Are All Bad: Bad Fantasy
Wizards Are Not All Bad: Good Fantasy
What about science fiction? That's simple, Roderick.
Aliens Are All Bad: Bad Fantasy
Aliens Are Not All Bad: Good Fantasy
Done.

Addendum

Hey! This emerald is a fake!

Big Worldbuilding Questions

You've got your fantasy country all settled with a name, imports, exports, government type, and everything. You've decided to call it Wipitaria, which I encourage you to rethink, but ignore that and answer me this. Do the people there sit down or recline? Pants or otherwise? How tall are their hats? I won't listen to the answers, though. I only wanted to distract you so I could filch the emerald.

Fantasy Punchline Corner

"If that's a Birthright, I'd hate to see a Birthwrong!"
"Ice and fire? I thought you were asking me to change your tire!"
"Yo momma's so immune to introspection, when she held the sword of Shannara, it doubted itself!"

All Things Change But This

Dale Alkirk grabbed wads of maps and timetables off the shelves and slammed them on the table. Map after map he opened up and ran his finger over while tapping his mouth with a pen. "Hm. Hmmmm. Uh uh. Hm." Simon wanted to help his boss but refrained from getting in the way. An abacus might as well try to assist a supercomputer.
"No . . . no . . . maybe . . . is it? Yes! This is it!" Dale ground his finger into the map and poked straight through. "Make a note to replace that. Not now, though. We have to move. I figured out how Hollis plans to move the stuff. He's using the Grant-Chifton line."
Simon gasped. Dale nodded. "That's right. Who does anything by train in the year 2832? That's exactly what Hollis is counting on. He knows the police won't look into that. They probably don't know trains still run."
"I sure didn't, boss. Why do they? It doesn't seem like it could possibly make financial sense." "It doesn't, Simon, but to this day there are always a few unreasonably rich men who get very interested in trains. Very, very interested. Very, very, very interested. Very, very, very, very, very, very . . ."
Finis

Sprucing Up Your Script

Out: Rosebud is a sled
In: Rosebud opens treasure chests

More Fire Emblem Trivia

Did you know that in the original game, the titular fire emblem is a skeleton key? Of course you do. Everyone knows that. It's still funny, though.

Fire Emblem Trivia

Did you know that Fire Emblem: Engage was originally planned to be an N-Gage game? They had to downscale it for the Switch, which is why it's taken so long to come out.

Nintendo Direct News and Analysis

Where can I find some of that? I can only watch the Various Daylife trailer so many times, fellas. I would also like to say that I hate the Fire Emblem main character's design so much that I like it. It feels like it has some real enthusiasm behind it, which I prefer to something bland. Bylandeth.

Toward More Realistic Science Fiction

If you had the material required to construct a viable space elevator, you would be better off using it to trip people and film prank videos. If we're being honest.