Andrew Moore's Blog, page 108
October 14, 2022
Fantasy Architecture
You've seen sky castles and underground fortresses, but have you ever seen a stronghold . . . ON THE GROUND? Well? Why aren't you looking at me?
October 12, 2022
Addendum
You probably don't want to get in the backroom. It's full of shibboleths and other indescribable beings of an unhelpful nature.
New Secret Word So We Know You're Cool
Be sure to include "wen" in your story if you want to get in the backroom.
October 11, 2022
The One Thing Fantasy and Science Fiction Share
You can make the fish really big, like mega-huge.
October 9, 2022
The Profound Terror of Space
There was no hurry about the report. If anything could be allowed time, it was that. Months, years, decades, even a century would not have been too much. Years, it ended up being, and the public wondered at the hastiness of it.
At last the commission presented the report, all 1,476 pages of it, for the first time at a televised hearing. A representative sat at a table stable enough to hold the thick stack of papers that had been printed out for visual effect, one hand on the pile. The minister questioned him.
"To begin, perhaps we ought to hear a summary. Has the commission reached a conclusion as to the reason behind the greatest mystery in human history that confronts us, this current generation? That is to say, why, when we at long last discovered a sentient alien species, we seem unable to communicate with its members? Or observe them carrying out any of the business of the advanced technological civilization it so obviously is? Why the buildings appear abandoned and the factories silent?"
"We have."
Conversations broke out all around the chamber, to say nothing of what went on in homes and offices across humanity's possessions, many after a time delay of course.
"Silence in the chamber, silence." The minister made his demand at an even volume, without any vehemence or sense of injured dignity. He understood. "In the shortest and easiest to understand words you are able to explain, what is that reason."
"They're ghosts
Take all the noise, double it, triple that, add laughs and shrieks, and that would be the general atmosphere.
"Silence!" There was some feeling in the command that time. "Are you quite serious?"
"Yes. We are confident, entirely confident, that what we have found is in fact an extinct civilization, whether its builders died or simply left their planet altogether. We are less confident in our supposition that perhaps an alien species may be able to see human ghosts, but we offer that as a reason to increase interstellar exploration rather than giving up after this disappointment."
The minister gave up on trying to quiet down the tumult. He wiped his forehead instead. What more could he do? The representative looked sane enough, but the implications . . .
Finis
At last the commission presented the report, all 1,476 pages of it, for the first time at a televised hearing. A representative sat at a table stable enough to hold the thick stack of papers that had been printed out for visual effect, one hand on the pile. The minister questioned him.
"To begin, perhaps we ought to hear a summary. Has the commission reached a conclusion as to the reason behind the greatest mystery in human history that confronts us, this current generation? That is to say, why, when we at long last discovered a sentient alien species, we seem unable to communicate with its members? Or observe them carrying out any of the business of the advanced technological civilization it so obviously is? Why the buildings appear abandoned and the factories silent?"
"We have."
Conversations broke out all around the chamber, to say nothing of what went on in homes and offices across humanity's possessions, many after a time delay of course.
"Silence in the chamber, silence." The minister made his demand at an even volume, without any vehemence or sense of injured dignity. He understood. "In the shortest and easiest to understand words you are able to explain, what is that reason."
"They're ghosts
Take all the noise, double it, triple that, add laughs and shrieks, and that would be the general atmosphere.
"Silence!" There was some feeling in the command that time. "Are you quite serious?"
"Yes. We are confident, entirely confident, that what we have found is in fact an extinct civilization, whether its builders died or simply left their planet altogether. We are less confident in our supposition that perhaps an alien species may be able to see human ghosts, but we offer that as a reason to increase interstellar exploration rather than giving up after this disappointment."
The minister gave up on trying to quiet down the tumult. He wiped his forehead instead. What more could he do? The representative looked sane enough, but the implications . . .
Finis
Q&A Corner Continued
Q. I want to write about a bunch of no-goods, but I still want the readers not to turn away in disgust. What do I do?
A. Every once in awhile, have somebody remind them to act righteously.
Q. Do they have to follow up by acting righteously?
A. Oh, goodness no.
A. Every once in awhile, have somebody remind them to act righteously.
Q. Do they have to follow up by acting righteously?
A. Oh, goodness no.
October 8, 2022
Q&A Corner
Q. How many characters should my book have before I start working on villains and minor characters?
A. 108.
Q. That seems high.
A. That isn't a question.
A. 108.
Q. That seems high.
A. That isn't a question.
October 7, 2022
Addendum
Anyone who suggests Spooktober will be shot. The reduction of the Earth's population by 40% will free up a lot of real estate.
October 6, 2022
Calendar Rationalization
It's pretty messed up that the tenth month of the year is called October. November doesn't even bear mentioning. I propose a panel of fantasy authors be convened to come up with new month names.
