Stephan Pastis's Blog, page 37

I Amuse Only Myself

Yesterday, I did our weekly grocery shopping.

As the Safeway clerk handed me my receipt, she asked, “Would like to contribute money for breast cancer?”

I said, “No.  I’m against breast cancer.”

She just stared.

I think my humor is lost on Safeway grocery clerks.

I’m a Book-Signing Fool

Hey, for those of you interested, I just walked into my local Copperfields bookstore here in Santa Rosa and signed a bunch of books I found on the shelf.  I should mention that they were all Pearls books, although I was tempted to sign a few Get Fuzzy’s.  I also drew Rat or Pig in each.  So if you’re interested, you can call the bookstore and order them, and they’ll ship them to you for a small charge.  Phone is 707-578-8938.

UPDATE as of April 2:  Thanks to those of you who have let me know that

I May Be Single By This Time Next Week

My wife Staci’s birthday is next week.  So I went to the grocery store to get her a cake.  The woman in the bakery section handed me a notebook of possible cake designs.  The whole first half of the book contained various types of birthday cakes.  Boring.

But in the back of the book were much more interesting cakes.  Non-birthday cakes.  St. Patrick’s Day cakes, Thanksgiving cakes, Father’s Day cakes.   After a great deal of thought,  I chose the Hanukkah cake.  On it is a big Menorah.

I should me

Hookah Pipes, Duck Mistakes and Spoilers

My Sunday strip is almost guaranteed to raise complaints, despite the fact that I went out of my way in the Friday strip to mention that these pipes are used in the Middle East to smoke tobacco.

(Warning: don’t read this next part if you don’t want me to give away some of the stuff that’s going to happen with Guard Duck in upcoming strips.)

Moreover, today’s strip contains a big goof.  Guard Duck is supposed to be gone from Rat and Pig’s house for awhile, going through his dark days following the

Freak Woman, Storytime and Croissants

Today the customer standing in front of me at Starbucks ordered her drink and the Starbucks employee did not hear it correctly.

The customer said, “Sorry.  I’ve been sick.  And my voice is a bit nasal-ey.”

Already, too much information.  But she went on.

Oh, did she go on.

Freak Woman launched into a one-minute long tale about her husband, her illness, her voice and something funny that her kid said.  I’m not sure what compelled her to think it was “Storytime at Stephan’s Starbucks,” but think it sh