Stephan Pastis's Blog, page 33

Twenty Questions

A recent interview I gave to Scott Nickel, who works with Jim Davis (the creator of 'Garfield') at Davis' company, Paws, Inc.

A Revelation That You're Going To Want To Share With Everyone You Know

Some people see religious imagery in mountain ranges or oak tree branches.

I do not.

But today while standing in the shower I was staring at the engraved letters on my upside-down Dial soap bar.

And that's when I saw it.   The letters backwards.

Laid.

I will never forget this day.

This Just In: Mark's Game is at 9 and 11 at Newman

Just wanted to tell all of you that Mark's game is at 9:00 today at Newman.  He has another game at 11:00.  The talent level at these games is supposed to be pretty high so the games should be fairly challenging.

Don't know Mark?  Or which games I'm talking about?

That's okay.   Neither do I.

I just thought I should tell you because the fat man standing behind me at Starbucks today shouted it so loud into his cell phone that I figured he must have wanted all of you to know.  He certainly wanted all

I Will Save The World

In the 1990's, I was a lawyer at a firm in San Francisco.  On Halloween, we had a special "costume day" lunch in the conference room where everyone dressed up.

One person wore a Scottish kilt.  Someone wore funny plastic teeth.  A woman wore a witch hat.

But while everyone chatted politely in our 16th floor conference room, a man in a child's Power Ranger costume was running circles around the building.

For those of you who don't remember the skin-tight suits that were the Power Rangers, here is a

An Inspirational Feel-Good Post to Share With Any of Your Friends or Neighbors Who Could Really Use a Boost Today

I just read a book on Genghis Khan.  I learned three things.

1)  Genghis Khan's warriors ate koumiss.  Koumiss is fermented mare's milk.  Sometimes they would let it harden in the sun so they could snack on it later.   Think of it as a poor man's Frito.

2) When out of koumiss, these guys drank their own horse's blood.  Straight from the horse's vein.  Sometimes they'd let the blood harden like they did the koumiss, so they'd have two snacks later.  Mongol warriors were just loaded with snacks.

3) W

I Am Back From Vacation and I Am Angry About My Bed

My wife puts 14 pillows on our bed.

The bed needs 2.

I don't normally think about these 12 extra pillows.  But I am now.

I am now because we went on vacation last week and the bed in the house we rented did not have 12 extra pillows.  It had 2.

My wife's 12 extra pillows are for show.  This is sad because no one but us ever sees them.  If they were a Broadway show, they would have been shut down.

In no particular order, they include:

1)  The two big gold ones.  They rest against the headboard, behind

Comedy is All About Timing

Whenever there's a prominent death in the news, I always fear that I have something coming up in my strip that will seem inappropriate in light of it.

For example, during a week of strips where Rat was running for election against a dead U.S. senator, a U.S. senator died tragically in a plane crash.

Another example was in the summer of 2006, where one of my crocs was so annoyed by Steve Irwin's accent he hoped he would die.  Irwin died two months later.

So it would stand to reason that in a week li

There's No Need For Me to Add Anything

Some stories you don't need even need to comment on.

People That Mourn People

As you may have already heard, mourners gathered at Michael Jackson's star on Hollywood Boulevard yesterday to light candles and cry.

Here is a photo of the Michael Jackson they mourned.

Now while I knew Michael's appearance had changed to more and more of that of a Caucasian man, I was shocked to see that it had changed that much.

But no.

The star they surrounded did not belong to the King of Pop.  It was that of Los Angeles radio personality Michael Jackson, who must surely have been shocked to le

Me, Ice Cream Shops and the Special Energy Known as Stupid

New-age types believe in energy fields known as “spiritual vortexes.”  They believe one exists in Sedona, Arizona.

They believe that in Sedona, this energy flows free.

I don’t know if they’re right.  I don’t know if there really are spiritual vortexes.  But I know this.

Last night, I took my kids to an ice cream shop.  It was next door to a video rental store.  Both places are part of big chains, but I won’t give their names, due to the next sentence.

It was a stupid people vortex.

A fake-blonde with