Niloy Shouvic Roy's Blog, page 7

Rain Of Love 3.0

It is raining todayI wish, by me you would stayYou would warm me down with your heatI could lie on you, listening to your heart beat.Each rain drop reminds meThat I miss so many precious moments without youBut still my hopes never fadeAnd I believe my dreams will see day sometime.Every time I feel cold,I wish a blanket, on me you will fold.When I look at the skyUnfortunately by me you don't standI kneel down crying in the rainBecause no one can see my tears and pain.Then I console myself with this feelingThat we both are under the same ceiling.When I see a lovely lane,Wet with the shower of rainI'd wish with you to take a walkReally slow with our hands locked.The smell of the flooding rainA promising beauty adding to nature again.Above all who will want to missIn the pouring rain a warm kissI wish and do believe I will get.. Someday the dreams that I set. Because I know that my love is true.. I do hope you understand it too!

© NILOY SHOUVIC ROY

My Inner Demons!

They think that everything is alright.. After all there's a smile on my face! I'm silent, but no one's asking the reason.. There's Darkness in my room, Somebody please bring the light! 
Inside me there's something.. Something's weird.. With whom shall I fight? Who is my enemy?
I've tried my best to make them understand.. But they are firm they want me dead! 
The mistake was mine..  I agree! But please forgive me now.. I'm begging for mercy too! 
I'm unable to stand there..  I feel suffocated! At the very least.. could you try to understand me? Cause I'm unable to do it! 
You told me that you wanna see me happy.. What happened now? Why are you killing me every single moment?I just need some time! I'll do something that no one else did.. It's my promise! Now please release me.. Don't you trust me? Not even a little bit?
Nowadays I don't sleep .. Even my nights are sleepless! Earlier tears never rolled down my cheeks.. But this time I cried alone hiding my problems, I am tired pretending to be happy to the world! 

By gathering enough courage..I spilled all my feelings to you! I thought at least you will understandAnd will be by my side! 
I thought you cared for me the most.. But, on that day I understood, That society is your first priority! 
"You were stuck at your position..  I was in mine!  I told you my situation..   But you didn't care!   After all ..  My pain was only mine! "
After understanding me a little.. I thought that at the very least. .  You will care to listen to my words.. But, every time you hurt my expectations.. By doing unexpected things! 
I didn't ask for you to stay .. I just wanted some time! What was so problematic there? I didn't ask for paradise! 
I was completely broken that day.. The day I was punished.. For no reason ! 
Well.. You will feel that pain someday.. The one that I am feeling today! You won't realise it, as my tears are hidden.. But..Someday you will regret your mistakes! 
The battlefield is readyWho will Win?Who will Lose?
Right now I'm fighting myself.. Since when?I don't know!
© Niloy Shouvic Roy
Edited By:- Diya Mukherjee

I Shouldn't Have Loved You

Talking to you was okay.. Meeting you was okay too, but I shouldn't have loved you! 
I liked talking to you about how my day was,It didn't take too long to make you my addiction.
Earlier it was okay,Cause I had to deal only with you! If I could talk to you for a littleThat was enough for me! 
With whom you are meeting, you want to be with... I didn't care at all, not even a bit! Earlier my life was completely mineI didn't care a much about things related to you.. Talking to you was nothing specialIt was the usual way as with my friends.. Even meeting you was like meeting a casual friend, nothing more than that, Then suddenly I don't know what happened. . You became necessary in my lifeWithout you I felt worried! 
If I don't get a chance to talk to you,I feel a void in my heart, Those casual conversations with you.. I am unaware of the reasons but, they feel special now! 
Now jealousy flows in..Whenever I see you getting close to others,Presently you are my first priority in life.. For reasons I cannot comprehend! 
Now I am eager to know, About minute details of you,your daily life.. I gaze at your pictures, even when I'm busy! 
These days my mind is filled with your thoughts, I have changed... I wasn't like this earlier! 
Your continuous chatter during our conversations.. Your voice that I used to hear so casually.. Isn't that casual anymore, It has became my addiction, I want to hear your voice more often! 
I feel different whenever I meet you now, It's really an inexplicable and strange feeling.. I am unable to concentrate on other aspects, Before loving you everything was right, Now everything is getting worse! I wasn't ever excited the way I am now... 
Now my life is in your control, And the strange thing is.. I can't even tell you this! 
Talking to you was okay.. Meeting you was okay too! but I shouldn't have loved youI Shouldn't have loved you!
© NILOY SHOUVIC ROY

Edit Courtesy:- Diya Mukherjee

স্বপ্নের রাজকন্যা

তুমি সেই তাইনা, যে রোজ আমার স্বপ্নে আসো? প্রশ্ন শুধু একটাই, শুধু স্বপ্নেই কেনো আসো?
প্রিয়, স্বপ্নের রাজকন্যাআমার জন্য তুমি একটু বেশি মূল্যবান।আমরা সামনাসামনি নই,কিন্তু স্বপ্নের দ্বারা তো কাছে।
ছবিতে দেখতে থাকি তোমায়,আর মনে মনে হেসে ফেলি।
আজকাল জানিনা কেনো,যেই গান গুলো তোমার পছন্দসেই গান গুলোই গুনগুন করি।
চেষ্টা আমার চলতেই থাকে যেনো,কম হলেও কথা চলতে থাকে।আস্তে আস্তে আমার সব অনুভূতি,তোমার দিকে প্রকাশ হতে থাকে।
তবে তুমি বুঝবে কবে?নাকি কোনোদিনও বুঝতে পারবেনা,আমি কি চলতেই থাকবো,নাকি থেমে যেতে হবে কোথাও?
আমি ভালোবাসি তোমাকে,এবার সরাসরি বলেদেবো কি?প্রথম দেখায় বিশ্বাস নেই,এবার সামনে আসবো কি?
প্রিয়, স্বপ্নের রাজকন্যা
কিছু বলার ছিল তোমাকে।খারাপ লাগলে অবহেলা করে দিও,আর যদি ভালো লাগে তাহলে মনে রেখে দিও।
আমার সব প্রার্থনার,একমাত্র চেহারা তুমি।তোমাকে পাওয়া এমন লক্ষ্য,আমার জন্য তো সোনার গন্তব্যস্থান তুমি।
এবার ইশারা এর কথা তুমি বুঝতে পারোনা,নাকি তুমি নিজেই বুঝতে চাওনা?এটা আমার বোঝার বাইরে।
আমার জানা নেই প্রেমের বদলে প্রেম পাওয়ার অনুভূতি কিরকম হয়।আমিতো একতরফা প্রেমই করেছি,আমার জন্য তো এটাই প্রেম।
তোমার আওয়াজে যখন নিজের নাম শুনিনা?তখন মনে হয় আমার নামও এত মধুর হতে পারে?
তুমি যখন ডাকো আমাকে এরম করে "শোনো নিলয় দা"যদিও আমি "দা" টা শুনতে পাইনা,আমি ভাবতে থাকি দুনিয়াতে এর থেকেও কি ভালো কিছু হতে পারে?
হতে পারে তোমার প্রশংসা করা তো এখন অভ্যেস হয়ে গেছে।
তুমি আমার হতে ওঠনী,তবুও আমারই তো তুমি?
প্রিয়, স্বপ্নের রাজকন্যাকিছু বলার ছিল তোমাকে।খারাপ লাগলে অবহেলা করে দিও,আর যদি ভালো লাগে তাহলে মনে রেখে দিও।
তোমার সাথে কথা বলার জন্য,তুমি জানোইনা যে কত প্রকারের কৌশল ব্যাবহার করি।
অপেক্ষায় থাকি তুমি কোনো "স্টোরি" দাও,তো ওটার "রিপ্লাই" করে কথা বাড়াতে পারি।
আর তুমি তো সামনে থেকে কোনো চেষ্টাই করোনা,হয়ত আমার চেষ্টা গুলো তোমার নজরেই আসেনা।
কোনো জোক পাঠালে তোমাকে,তুমি শুধু "lol" বলেই "রিপ্লাই" দাও।এবার ওটার আগে আমি আর কি বলবো?কথা বাড়ানোই কঠিন করে দাও তুমি।
কিন্তু তাও তোমার ওপরে রাগ টা আসেনা,প্রেম যেমন ছিল, ঠিক সেরকমই আছে।কখনো অর্ধেক হয়না।
"পরে কথা বলছি"কিন্তু তোমার দিক থেকে সেই "পরে" আর আসেইনা।তো পরের দিন আবার কথা আমাকেই শুরু করতে হয়।কারণ তোমার সাথে কথা বলা ছাড়া, থাকাই যায়না।
প্রিয়, স্বপ্নের রাজকন্যাকিছু বলার ছিল তোমাকে।খারাপ লাগলে অবহেলা করে দিও,আর যদি ভালো লাগে তাহলে মনে রেখে দিও।
©নিলয় সৌভিক রায়

I Am A Man And I Am Not A Statue

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I am a Man and I am Not a statue.

Who are you to snatch my right to cry and right to say no to a work?“ When a Man says No, That No also means No “Who are you to say that we all men are dogs?I am a man and I have a family to feed.I am someone’s husband, brother, son, father, boyfriend, friend, BestFriend.I am a man not a wallet or ATM.Who the hell are you to destroy my life by using the fake Me-too and putting fake allegations just because I was unable to pay the bills of a pseudo feminist?I am man; I have a life to live,Who the hell are you to rape me?And in case we get raped why we are considered as a lucky guy?Our consent matters too.I am a man, I love to smile.Who the hell are you to attack me with acid just because I rejected you?I am a man, we want justice too.Why our cases don’t get viral on social media?I am a man, I love to wear makeup.I am a man; I can be sexually gay too.Why do we local gay men are being watched as untouchable?Where as everyone posts the pictures of gay marriage of some foreigners on social media by saying we support LGBT.I am a man, I can be depressed too. People say “Aye ladka hoke Ro raha hain? Tu toh ladki hain.”We have feelings, We can cry.I am a man and that does not mean I have to be the coolie of my familyI also want to enjoy the family journey on vacations other than dragging and lifting the luggage.I am a man but that does not mean that always I need to pay the bills.Just because Amitabh Bachchan said “mard ko dard nahi hota” oncePeople think that our heart and body are made up of stones.
Whenever we want to get married,
Why the girl's family always talks about our skin colour, salary and height?We men also get hurt,We men aren’t dogs,We men aren’t rapists.Rapists have no gender, No religion.Whenever we men hits a girl back just because they hit first,Why do they only have the right to say “You are molesting me, I’ll file a case against you.” But not us?I am a man and I respect each and everyone who deserves that.I am a man I can be in love without always asking for a physical relationship.I am a man and I don’t harm humans.I am a man and I demand justice for every man who has been attacked with acid, got raped, and got into fake allegations.I am a Man and I am not a statue.


©NILOY SHOUVIC ROY

RAIN OF LOVE 2.0

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Cold, quiet rain gently falling
Yet the dampness we don't feel;
For our bodies are absorbed in each other
Hot as the heat from hell.

You lead me slowly into the woods
Place a quilt on the ground;
The noise of nature is all around us
Yet the beating of our hearts is the only sound.

Your kiss is gentle, yet demanding
My body arches to feel
The touch of your hand, the feel of you
Without resistance to you, I yield.

You taste the essence of my body
You bring more pleasure than I've ever known
I give myself to you completely
The quietness is disturbed by our groans.

You rise above me with a sudden urgency
Our needs are great, we both have found;
Our hearts pounding with anticipation
We become one, lying there on the ground.

Rain has never been more beautiful
As we lie together in each other's embrace;
The taste of you, the feel of nature
A beautiful moment - in my memory forever encased.
©NILOY SHOUVIC ROY

Aise Kaise Chalega Behna?

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Bachpan se lekar aaj tak

Tune na jeene diya hain

Aur nahi marne



Jab sala kuch chaiye hota hain

Tab bada bhai pukadti ho
Aur jab mutlab khatam

Tab “Aye kutte sun”



Jabhi jhagda lagta hain

Humesha jeetne ke liye “Mummy… Mujhe bhai marr raha hain”

Yeh support toh hain hi



Waise help bhi bohut karti hain

Jaise marks kam aa jaye toh bacha leti hain

Ya phir jab bhi paise ki zaroorat hoti hain

Yeh hi bacha leti hain



Agar fridge se main iska chocolate chura ke kha loon

Toh 3rd world war suru kar deti hain

Aur agar yeh mera kha le

Toh mummy bolti hain ke

Behen ne hi toh khaya

Kya farq padhta hain



Humesha bolti rehti hain ke Paise bachao

Aur khud hi ek ke baad ek demand karti rehti hain

Arey koi ise samjhao aise kaise chalega behna???


© NILOY SHOUVIC ROY(NSR)

One Sided Relationship

window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'G-B9EZHQTJ4T'); Don’t know why I didn’t forget you,

And till now I was unable to say it,

Okay I said,

But it was too late.



I was only yours,

But you became someone else’s.



And still I don’t want to lose you,

I don’t want you to forget me.



I know that you won’t pay efforts from your side,

And there would be nothing left if I stop paying from my side.



Sometimes to save a relation,

Only one has to give efforts,

Because it’s there or not,

Matters to the one only



If I also stop sending you “Hello – Hi”

Then how can I complain that you don’t reply.

Because all the messages are mine only,

The things I only get are just your replies.



This kind of relationship is not only ours,

I went deeper and found a lot of people like us there.



That’s why I send messages time to time,

If I like any post,

Just forward that to you.



By which at least I can be somewhere in your head.

I’m still there for you,

At least let me stay in your memories.



If I also come down to satisfy my ego,

The conversations will become empty.



How easily this old bonding will be broken.



Sometimes I think to wait for your first message,

Months and Months pass by waiting and waiting.

Now tell me how much should I love you more?



You will forget me,

If I stop myself

What will be the use of my efforts?

If I step behind before reaching to the destination

I don’t know what you think about my feelings

Before you thought it was sweet,

Now maybe you think that its creep.



I still be in my limit,

I just disturb you after 9-10 days.



I don’t talk shits,

I hope that you noticed.



I just ask how you are,

I hope I can ask that.



It’s really hard to save a one sided relationship,

To open up your heart in front of someone who doesn’t even care.



To whom I used to talk everyday without a second thought,

Now, I think for hours before I say hi.

Then again I send a huge message,

And hit the unsent button.

And end it by sending a smiley.



Sometimes I think to stop these,

What’s the use of saving this?

Then again I get a thought that

If it happened too,

You won’t even have any news that

I’m gone.



If I end the relationship from my side,

Then also you won’t even get to know about it.

Cause you will not know anything.



I want something like this that you understand,

Something has ended

Something you have lost

Which , shouldn’t be lost.


© NILOY SHOUVIC ROY(NSR)