Deedee Cummings's Blog, page 11

Thinking About School Re-Entry

School will begin again before we know it, and the return to school routines can bring stress with it. Your child will have at least one new teacher, and if they are in middle or high school, they will have many new teachers. Every child wonders if they will have classes with kids they know. If your child has sensory issues or learning struggles, school may present unwelcome changes from summer’s freedom. 

It is crucial to reestablish school routines before the night before school resumes, and this is supported by pediatricians and therapists all over the country. One important routine to check off is a well visit to make sure everything is physically on track for your child. After that, it is essential to prepare as much as possible, ensuring that school clothes, shoes, and supplies are at the ready. 

But perhaps the most important way to help prepare a child for school is to talk about their feelings and concerns, their goals and hopes. One unique way to do that is to work with your child to create a dream board. You may also have heard this referred to as a vision board. They are not just for adults!

A dream board is a collage of pictures, words, and phrases that can serve as a source of inspiration. They can be on paper or poster board or be digital versions. These are tools that we often use, but they can be super helpful for kids, too as they serve as reminders of important things we are working towards or things we don’t want to forget. 

Some questions to ask your child as they begin a dream board might be:

What is your goal for the school year?

What steps can you take each day to help achieve this goal?

What positive message is it important that you tell yourself?

What do you need from your family to be successful? 

What do you need from your teacher and school community?

Your child’s answers to these questions can come from them drawing, painting, or finding magazine pictures that they can use to fill their dream board. Once complete, post the dream board in a spot your child sees every day, perhaps first thing in the morning to set their day off on a positive note. This will also give you some important insight into the mind of your child and any worries they may have. You can use this one project to keep the conversation going all school year long!

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Book Lovers Support Literacy

If you are a book lover, it is hard to imagine what illiteracy might feel like. The world has come a long way throughout its history with literacy rates improving immensely over the years. According to UNESCO, the worldwide average literacy rate is 86% for adults and 91% for children. 

However, the work of highlighting and promoting literacy is far from over. In, fact, it may be more dire than ever with the rise of social media and untruths spreading through the internet like wildfire. There remain large pockets of adults and children, even within our own communities, that struggle to read and comprehend everyday information and directions. August 9th is National Book Lovers Day. I can’t think of a more perfect opportunity for book lovers to do what they can to help improve literacy where they live. But how can one do that?

Even though most schools won’t be in session yet, you can volunteer to read books to children in daycares and preschools that operate year round. Or contact a school to get a background check so that you can read to kids as a volunteer once a month. Pull books off your shelves and donate them to a little library. Make a point to take them to an underserved area of your city or town. Create a book basket at your workplace where colleagues can share books they have on their shelves. Purchase books from authors you love, either from them directly or via your local independent bookstore. Supporting authors ensures that there are all kinds of stories for adults and children to read and fall in love with. Spend time reading to a child in your life on August 9th and talk with them about the privilege of having books and knowing how to read them. Create a book club. If you’re already in a book club, consider planning a book drive among members and donate those books to a school or community organization that works to encourage a love of reading among children. Donate money to a literacy organization in your community if you are unable to donate your time. The Louisville Book Festival is one such organization that believes reading is a fundamental human right. You can read more about their work and their mission here.Go to your local library, check out books and tell others about the joy you had while you were visiting. Libraries need you to love on them to survive.Attend local literary events. Just this year I attended an event at a bar and an event at a community center. When you show up, it makes it more likely that the event organizers will host another.Lastly, show your own book collection a little love. Make sure others in your life know what you are reading and how it affected you. Don’t keep a good read to yourself. Books need love too!

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Daring to Dream: Support Systems

Having a dream is important, but so is having a support system to back you up. It isn’t always easy to make a dream become a reality, which is why you need people in your corner. When it comes to a support system, there are probably several categories of support you need.

1–The cheerleader

This is the person to cheer you on when you feel down or disappointed, the person who 110% has your back. It might be a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or a friend. You may have several of these or only one; the quantity doesn’t matter as much as the quality. This is the person who will be by your side no matter how things shake out. This is your “YES” person. 

2–The question-answerer

These are the people who have expertise in the areas in which you need help. It might be an attorney or a tax consultant. It might be someone who has done the thing you want to do already. If your dream is to open your own business, this is your neighbor who opened her or his own business three years ago and can tell you things you may not even think about. They can give your guideposts or caveats. Mentors are essential for any successful dreamer.

3–The devil’s advocate

Unfortunately, you need these people in your plan, even though they may seem like Debbie Downers. These are the folks who bring up the things you don’t want to think about or the things that you’re too excited about to notice. They are the ones who ask the hard questions like, “What is your Plan B?” or “Is there another way to do this besides the one you really like?” It may seem like they think your idea is bad or wrong, but in reality, they may only be trying to keep your heart from being broken. They may be very practical people who want you to temper your excitement a bit to see the possible flaws of the plan or the downsides. However, it is very important to distinguish a person who is pushing you to be better from a person who is a hater. Nothing will slow you down or even derail you like someone who does not truly have your best interest at heart.

4–The organizer

There are often a lot of things to juggle when you’re following your dream, so you need super-organized people in your corner to keep you on track. You will be managing a lot of different variables and it is helpful to have someone with a different purview from you. 

5–And YOU

No one will believe in your dream like you do. No one will understand your vision like you do. Make sure you believe in you.

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The Need To Stay Still

A body at rest appears as if it isn’t doing anything. It isn’t moving or shaking or contributing. Yet, there are millions of tiny essential processes happening and that doesn’t even begin to address what is going on inside a quiet mind. Only then do you really have the space to marinate on the dreams and ideas in your head. You need silence and you need rest. 

On Tik Tok they call it the #QuietLife.

When we think of a writer’s life, we think of them actively doing something: writing. We may imagine them typing away all day on the keyboard or scratching words on a legal pad. But writers spend a lot of time just thinking because that is where the stories come from, the plot twists and turns. They don’t come from busy fingers; they come from quiet minds that have the time and space to process.

The busyness of the world makes it difficult to be still, to make space for just chilling, but it is important to our overall health whether we are adults or children. It might be especially important for children to have unstructured time to pretend play and test nature in ways that help them make sense of everything. 

Constant busyness means that the stress created in one’s 9-5 life doesn’t ever have an opportunity to dissipate. If you go from five days a week of work and activities straight to a weekend full of different (or just more) activities and house and yard work, your body and mind never have a chance to recover. 

It is true that a lot of people find relaxing not just hard, but near impossible. It is a challenge to slow yourself down and learn to enjoy doing nothing. If you struggle with slowing down, here are a few easy things to begin doing to help change your pace:

1–Turn off notifications on your phone and switch it to silent (preferably as long and as often as you can, but if you can only do it for an hour at a time, do this). 

2–Take the extra step and put the phone out of your reach. Out of sight. Out of mind.

3–Complete a puzzle. Solving a puzzle slows down the brain and allows you some rest. It forces you to sit still and do nothing but work that puzzle.

4–Go for a nature bath. Take a hike or simply sit outside and listen to the birds. Feel some sunlight on your face. Make a mental note of things you never noticed before.

5–Lie on the floor and do some stretches, but hold those stretches for 30 seconds or longer. Train your mind to not think about all the other things you could be doing. Remind yourself that what you are doing in this moment is exactly what you should be doing.

These periodic breaks of quiet time are not a waste of time. They are a reset. And a necessary one at that. Visualize your phone being updated. While it is updating you cannot use your phone. It is locked. Announce to everyone to leave you alone- you are updating. Then return as “you 2023.0”. If your phone requires, needs, and deserves an update, you do too.

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Could Haves and Should Haves

July 15 marks National Toss Away the Could Haves and Should Haves Day, and that is a day we can all use in our lives, isn’t it? This day was created by Martha J. Ross-Rodgers, an author and motivational speaker.

If you’re into following these special days to the letter, you should write down all your “could haves” and “should haves” and then crumple up and toss that paper into file 13.

 

We all have mixed feelings about how we handle regrets. The old adages are that we must learn from our mistakes and know our history so we’re not cursed to repeat it, and there is tremendous value in these ideas. But there is a big difference between knowing how we messed up, or failed to act, and beating ourselves up with that knowledge every day for the rest of our lives.

Holding onto regret doesn’t allow a person to engage fully in the here and now; it only keeps us tethered to a past that cannot be fixed or changed. We can only mindfully act differently in this moment. Keeping ourselves tied to the past, as if it is a ball and chain, only hinders our movement forward; we might run or fly, but we’re too weighed down to do that. We need to have more empathy for ourselves than this.

An exercise you might consider to help forgive yourself is to pretend that a friend has shared with you whatever regret you have. How would you respond to your friend? What words would you say to them? Write those down, but address the letter to yourself. Write the letter. Read the letter. And then tuck it away to read it again. We are often so much more gentle and compassionate with others than we ever are with ourselves. 

If you haven’t already, talk to someone about your regret, whether that person is a therapist, pastor, or friend. If you haven’t taken the time to work through why you’re hanging onto your “could haves” and “should haves,” do so now. All those experiences are lessons to build on, necessary steps to reach your goal. They are not the failures you might think they are. Adapting this new mindset will change your life.

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Daring to Dream: Overcoming Questions and Doubts

Do you have an idea for something you’d like to accomplish? A dream you’d like to fulfill? Each time you step toward that goal, does a sense of doubt, or a flood of questions force you to step back? Here are 4 steps you can take to move forward, overcoming questions and doubts so that you can finally achieve your dreams.

4 Steps to Overcome Self Doubt And Achieve Your Dreams

We all experience self doubt at some point in our lives. However, questions and doubt don’t mean you aren’t capable of accomplishing whatever goal sits just beyond your comfort zone. Use this four step process the next time you are struggling to overcome self doubt.

Step 1: Remember everything you’ve already accomplished.

Life is full of ups and downs, obstacles and trials. Take a moment to think about all the hard things you’ve already accomplished, whether that is making it through years of schooling, landing a great new job, figuring out a difficult relationship, handling a health issue, overcoming mental health struggles, etc. Any life circumstance that initially felt like it was just too much but you did it anyway is a success you can draw from to gain confidence in moments of doubt.

What can you learn from those past experiences? What and who did you rely on to get you through? Those same supportive people that helped you overcome doubts while you were working toward past achievements, or overcoming stress and struggle, can also help you stop doubting your ability to achieve your goal.

Step 2: Write down your questions and doubts.

It’s normal to experience self doubt when you are venturing into something new. The worst thing you can do is ignore your doubt and try to push it aside. That will just make it grow. Instead, use the power of self-reflection to overcome doubt and get to the root of your feelings.

Make a list of all the questions you have. There is no question or doubt too big or two small. Don’t try to answer your questions right now, just write them down. Give yourself a couple of days or weeks to make a list of all the questions or doubts that pop into your mind.

 

Step 3: Gain Knowledge

Once you’ve got a solid list of questions (and know that you will probably have more questions later), the solution to your fear is in the answers.

There will be some questions you can look up answers to on the internet. Others may require a phone call to a government agency to find out if there are laws or regulations you need to be aware of and comply with to make your dreams come to life.

Other questions may require you to find someone to talk to face to face. Use your network of friends and family to find connections and adopt new mentors.

Librarians and books are also fantastic resources when you have questions and don’t quite know where to look.

After you’ve exhausted your current support network, start reaching out to people you don’t know. Email someone who has already achieved your dream. Explain your situation and ask for input or advice from their own personal experience.

If the idea of reaching out to strangers intimidates you, remember that even the most successful people are still people. It’s true that some might not answer but others will gladly help someone who has a genuine interest in working hard to accomplish a goal. They remember what it is like to be in your shoes and many will happily help you learn from their pas mistakes and current success. And if they don’t know how to help you keep moving forward, they might be able to connect you with someone who does.

Step 4: Get Connected

One of the best ways to overcome the vicious cycle of self doubt is to join a group of like-minded people working toward the same goal. We all experience feelings of doubt or uncertainty. When you have a safe place to go with those feelings and get instant support and encouragement from others on the same journey, you are more likely to turn your doubts into a fleeting thought instead of a paralyzing fear.

Search Facebook, local networks of professionals, or even your local library for groups of people who have similar goals. If you are interested in starting your own business or writing a self-published book, look into our team at Make A Way Mindset!

You could also enlist professional help by joining a class, course or mentor program so that someone can lead you step by step through all the necessary parts of realizing your dream. Often, having the support of someone who has already done it can be exactly the support you need when you are feeling scared or uncertain.

We live in a wonderful time. The internet gives you access to all the people and information you need with just the click of a button. Don’t be afraid to reach out, listen to advice, and recognize that you don’t have to figure this out alone.

You can overcome self doubt. You can achieve your goals. Follow these four steps and watch your questions and doubts become a little less daunting and your dream a little more within reach. You got this!

The post Daring to Dream: Overcoming Questions and Doubts appeared first on Make A Way Media.

Dare to Dream: Overcoming Questions and Doubts

Do you have an idea for something you’d like to accomplish? A dream you’d like to fulfill? Each time you step toward that goal, does a sense of doubt, or a flood of questions force you to step back? Here are 4 steps you can take to move forward, overcoming questions and doubts so that you can finally achieve your dreams.

4 Steps to Overcome Self Doubt And Achieve Your Dreams

We all experience self doubt at some point in our lives. However, questions and doubt don’t mean you aren’t capable of accomplishing whatever goal sits just beyond your comfort zone. Use this four step process the next time you are struggling to overcome self doubt.

Step 1: Remember everything you’ve already accomplished.

Life is full of ups and downs, obstacles and trials. Take a moment to think about all the hard things you’ve already accomplished, whether that is making it through years of schooling, landing a great new job, figuring out a difficult relationship, handling a health issue, overcoming mental health struggles, etc. Any life circumstance that initially felt like it was just too much but you did it anyway is a success you can draw from to gain confidence in moments of doubt.

What can you learn from those past experiences? What and who did you rely on to get you through? Those same supportive people that helped you overcome doubts while you were working toward past achievements, or overcoming stress and struggle, can also help you stop doubting your ability to achieve your goal.

Step 2: Write down your questions and doubts.

It’s normal to experience self doubt when you are venturing into something new. The worst thing you can do is ignore your doubt and try to push it aside. That will just make it grow. Instead, use the power of self-reflection to overcome doubt and get to the root of your feelings.

Make a list of all the questions you have. There is no question or doubt too big or two small. Don’t try to answer your questions right now, just write them down. Give yourself a couple of days or weeks to make a list of all the questions or doubts that pop into your mind.

 

Step 3: Gain Knowledge

Once you’ve got a solid list of questions (and know that you will probably have more questions later), the solution to your fear is in the answers.

There will be some questions you can look up answers to on the internet. Others may require a phone call to a government agency to find out if there are laws or regulations you need to be aware of and comply with to make your dreams come to life.

Other questions may require you to find someone to talk to face to face. Use your network of friends and family to find connections and adopt new mentors.

Librarians and books are also fantastic resources when you have questions and don’t quite know where to look.

After you’ve exhausted your current support network, start reaching out to people you don’t know. Email someone who has already achieved your dream. Explain your situation and ask for input or advice from their own personal experience.

If the idea of reaching out to strangers intimidates you, remember that even the most successful people are still people. It’s true that some might not answer but others will gladly help someone who has a genuine interest in working hard to accomplish a goal. They remember what it is like to be in your shoes and many will happily help you learn from their pas mistakes and current success. And if they don’t know how to help you keep moving forward, they might be able to connect you with someone who does.

Step 4: Get Connected

One of the best ways to overcome the vicious cycle of self doubt is to join a group of like-minded people working toward the same goal. We all experience feelings of doubt or uncertainty. When you have a safe place to go with those feelings and get instant support and encouragement from others on the same journey, you are more likely to turn your doubts into a fleeting thought instead of a paralyzing fear.

Search Facebook, local networks of professionals, or even your local library for groups of people who have similar goals. If you are interested in starting your own business or writing a self-published book, look into our team at Make A Way Mindset!

You could also enlist professional help by joining a class, course or mentor program so that someone can lead you step by step through all the necessary parts of realizing your dream. Often, having the support of someone who has already done it can be exactly the support you need when you are feeling scared or uncertain.

We live in a wonderful time. The internet gives you access to all the people and information you need with just the click of a button. Don’t be afraid to reach out, listen to advice, and recognize that you don’t have to figure this out alone.

You can overcome self doubt. You can achieve your goals. Follow these four steps and watch your questions and doubts become a little less daunting and your dream a little more within reach. You got this!

The post Dare to Dream: Overcoming Questions and Doubts appeared first on Make A Way Media.

Independence Day, Juneteenth, and The RIGHT to Read

One of the things I am most proud about, that we do here at Make A Way Media, is teach people how to better communicate and live in peace. I believe peace is a language that must be taught to humans from a young age. Probably the most important component of the language is not anything containing words at all. It is the ability to practice empathy and active listening.

For the kid crowd, we talk about this a lot in the K Club– how to be a better human and how to better develop empathy. We all really should make much more of a concerted effort to listen more than we talk. But we are a nation of talkers who feel entitled to speak our minds. Social media has only made that belief stronger.

Contrary to popular opinion, we do not have to weigh in on every subject. Sometimes we can just listen and when the speaker is done, it is okay to absorb that message. Sit with it for a while. Take it in.

Most troubling to me is the ongoing division in the United States which seems to be widening. You are either Black or White. Right or wrong. Good or bad. And there is nothing in between. Yet we all know this is not how life, and people work. None of us are all one thing or another.

The national recognition of Juneteenth was a beautiful thing that should have united people. Who in America would not celebrate freedom, right? But as soon as the country became washed over with the meaning of Juneteenth, it took even less time than that to use it as another topic to divide us. Some adhered more strongly to the 4th of July and vowed to never celebrate Juneteenth, and some said from now on they would never celebrate the 4th of July again.

I don’t think this was the point. A day of freedom for anyone is a day of freedom for all of us. I get that all of us were not free on the 4th of July. I get it. I would have been one of them. But you can’t tell me that we cannot find a way to celebrate the end of slavery and the independence of the country we all live in now. Reading is a great tool in so many ways. Throughout all of history whenever people have been oppressed, reading and writing was one of the first things to be banned for those who were being oppressed. We should be celebrating freedom in all its forms whether it is the day that every human being was freed in this country or whether it was the day our country gained its independence. We are free. We can do so many of the things now we could not do just a few decades ago. We can read, write, vote, own property, invest and I am telling you if you are spending more time talking about conflict than reading about how to take advantage of every one of these rights you have missed the entire point of what it means to be free.

Reading unites us. Reading can help broaden our perspective. Reading helps us better understand one another, including all the layers of intention and empathy we should see in our fellow human beings. Reading offers us a type of freedom that cannot be bought or sold. It can only be oppressed. And that is because reading is powerful.

So, I’ll be celebrating freedom- wherever it shows up. In all its forms. I won’t choose one freedom celebration over the other or put one of them down because both of these days offer me a chance to celebrate the protections I receive as an American who loves her books.

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Expectation Vacation

Summer is when a lot of families travel because kids are out of school. Even though we all think of vacations as relaxing, there can be a lot of stress associated with planning and executing a family getaway. Do you get overwhelmed with too many choices and then can’t make a decision? Do you have a child who hates change in all its forms so visiting a new place or having a new routine even for a week is awful for them (and then maybe everyone else too)? 

An important thing to consider is what kind of expectations do you have for a family vacation? With Instagram and Facebook, we only see the photos and videos that other people curate for us; we aren’t seeing their “real” life, but it is easy to forget that. We may develop an expectation of what our family vacation is supposed to look like, and if it doesn’t match that, we become frustrated and disappointed. And that is when the real fun starts, right?

 

Consider sharing the book My Trip to the Beach by Deedee Cummings with the kids to take on an ipad, phone, (or the real paper thing) along on the journey. This book is about a kiddo who dreams they are at the beach and practices mindful tips to help calm tense nerves and focus on the best parts of their trip. It is a technique that can be used anywhere, including in the backseat of a 12-hour car ride!

If you’re visiting a big city, you may be tempted to “see it all,” but this is probably not a great idea, especially if you have kids along for the journey. Rather than packing loads of activities into each day, have one thing you will see and several other things in your back pocket that could be added to the list but don’t have to be. If anyone feels tired or cranky after seeing the “one big thing,” get some rest. You’ve done what was on your list so enjoy that accomplishment!

The reality is that you’ll never see and do everything you may like to see and do on a trip, particularly if the trip is to a place that offers lots to see and do, like Chicago or Washington, DC. You could live in those places and take weeks to see and do everything if only time and money (and that cranky teenager) weren’t limitations. 

Think about the varied interests of the people on the trip with you. If one child loves animals, make sure to do an animal activity once on the trip. If another child loves art, make sure an art activity is done once on the trip. If everyone gets to do one thing that is their favorite, you can always remind them that they got their pick, now someone else in the family gets a pick. It won’t eliminate the complaining completely, but it will temper it. 

If things go awry (and they will because it’s life), try to see the humor. Someone I know took photos every time their child threw himself on the ground after taking a hike (which was the “one thing” on the parents’ vacation list). The parents collected these photos into an album that the entire family now laughs at, looking back at all the tantrums this particular child threw. Even if in the moment that vacation time wasn’t great, it could be the basis of some amazing memories down the road. Remember– it’s a vacation. Make it fun!

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Celebrating Juneteenth

Most of us learned about the Emancipation Proclamation in school at some point, the executive order by President Abraham Lincoln in 1863 that set free all enslaved people in Confederate states fighting against the North during the American Civil War. Of course, the part we may not have learned in class is that not everyone was freed at that exact moment due to Confederate control. It took until June 19, 1865 before the last slaves were notified that they were, in fact, free. 

This date was celebrated for many years among Black Americans, but it has only recently become a date that other Americans are aware of. It wasn’t until 2021 that it became a federal holiday prompted largely by civil unrest over the brutal killing of George Floyd. 

While the Declaration of Independence states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” the reality is that, despite these lofty and admirable aspirations, we have never- as a society- met them. 

As you celebrate Juneteenth, consider adding some of these books to your bookshelf. commit to developing a better understanding of what slavery did to human beings and to our country and how Emancipation changed the direction of the country for the better.

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead (novel)

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi (novel)

Kindred by Octavia Butler (novel)

Beloved by Toni Morrison (novel)

Out of the House of Bondage: The Transformation of the Plantation Household by Thavolia Glymph

Nothing but Freedom: Emancipation and Its Legacy by Eric Foner

Soul by Soul: Life Inside the Antebellum Slave Market by Walter Johnson

On Juneteenth by Annette Gordon-Reed

Many Thousands Gone: The First Two Centuries of Slavery in North America by Ira Berlin

As you read these books, share what you learn with others. Talk about it. Hold a book club. It does not have to be a monthly thing. It could be a one time meet up to discuss just one book you read at the same time another friend or two reads the book. Learn about the special history of Juneteeth and why it is important to our country as a whole.

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