Maureen Scanlon's Blog, page 3

Everyone Knows a “Sharon”

Ok, it happened. I got my first “bad” review. When you expose yourself to the public, you expect this and try to prepare for it, but it was ugly. Ugly in the sense that the online review didn’t constructively criticize my work, it attacked my life purpose, expertise, and spirituality.

I guess Sharon decided to “go big or go home.”

I’ll admit the human side of me was angry. It brought out my need to defend my work and beliefs. This is a natural reaction when we experience something that is uncomfortable and feels like we’re being attacked. 

The Life Coach in me said, “ok, let’s put this energy into something positive and effective: it’s about her projection and perspective, don’t take it personal.”

Finally, the spiritual side of me said, “let’s find some love and compassion.” 

Have you ever experienced the “haters?” Here are some ways to cope: 

Just don’t– One of the most common tools I suggest to my Life Coaching clients is, “Don’t complain and don’t explain.” We don’t want to add any energy to the negative situation. We don’t have to explain ourselves to those who won’t receive it.

I wanted to explain to Sharon what my credentials are, how I researched the information, and why she should be a better person, but alas, I refrained. You can’t convince someone of your worth, and you don’t need to! 

Be proactive, not reactive– This is a difficult one to execute. Our instantaneous thought is to give someone a piece of our mind. I chose to sleep on it. I chose to talk it over with my husband and best friend. I also wrote out a response that was less than stellar, although it was soothing in a weird way. 

Run Your Own Race– I think what was most disappointing about Sharon was the fact that she is a fellow author, woman, and mental health professional. I’m a firm believer in supporting others and lifting them up. I feel I can always learn from others, especially when we have commonalities.

I realized Sharon probably has some insecurities in this area and may feel we are in a competition with one another. You’ll find this to be common of your criticizers. 

Kill ’em with Kindness– In the end, I decided to respond with compassion. I validated the positive reviews and awards that others had expressed about my book.

My hope is that Sharon may take away the message that being mean doesn’t get you heard, it only repels people from you. Kindness will bring the people and success you seek. 

Don’t allow anyone to steal your confidence, joy, or belief in your purpose. Stay strong and follow your own path, regardless of the “Sharons” you will inevitably encounter. 

Love and Blessings, 
Maureen

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The Real Meaning of Essential

As I sit and flip through channels on the TV, I come across the National Cornhole Championship. I start to giggle and call my husband to the room.
He proceeds to tell me that during the pandemic, there have been reruns of World Series and Basketball games from 1993. I’ve also seen live concerts and there was even a Macy’s Fourth of July special!

What’s interesting to me is how humans adapt to their world. We can’t go to bars, gyms, or Festivals and during the pandemic, I’ve seen the most creative ways of coping and even celebrating: drive-by parades, community gift basket groups, remote working. During these challenging times, we have found ways to thrive.

Those who are having the most difficult time with the social distancing, are those who were very active socially and those who love to get out and experience adventure.

This would be me. In trying to be hopeful, I continued to book travel plans with an optimistic belief that the quarantine requirements would be lifted by the date of my trips. Unfortunately, it keeps getting extended and I’ve now had to cancel 3 vacations.

Through it all, I have figured out the ability to find comfort, joy, and even adventure from my home. My safe place where those I cherish the most reside. I figured out what the most “essential” things are to me.

By distracting myself with new things such online learning courses, cooking, and writing, I proved I have the ability to make joy happen regardless of what is happening that may feel out of my control.

Although inconvenient, buying toilet paper and getting my nails done in a salon turned out to seem more of a hinderance that I had been doing pre-pandemic. We have been forced to find our creative, patient, and our most basic and intrinsic needs.

I asked my son, Noah, and his girlfriend, Noemi, “What will you do differently when all the limitations are lifted, what did you learn from this situation?”

My son stated something that I think is so important: “To budget and save money.” Noemi said she “will not take things for granted.” The ability to do what we want, WHEN we want has been an advantage we now can have more appreciation for. This is the gratitude mindset that I hope has awakened in many people.

Some of us have been forced to look at our relationships, our jobs, and purpose differently and ask ourselves, “Is this what really makes me happy?”

The takeaway is knowing what true essential needs are. That material things or people are not what matters, but the joy discovered without those things are the most fulfilling.

Love and Blessings.
Maureen

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Can You Be An Influencer?

An influencer is an individual who has the power to affect purchase decisions of others because of his/her authority, knowledge, position or relationship with his/her audience. This modern title for career or professional goal has gained major popularity in the last few years.

For today’s social media enthusiasts and younger generation, it’s a goal to become a social media influencer. It’s achieving a large number of likes and followers that engage with your posts and opinions. It can also be monetarily rewarding when companies sponsor you.

It’s not just a popularity contest like our junior high school days, it’s a strategic plan that takes dedication and time.

The true meaning of being an influencer is this: One who exerts influence; a person who inspires or guides the actions of others.

If we really look at the desire to be an influencer, it is the desire to be validated, accepted, and feel as though we have value in what we represent to others.

We can all be influencers in our daily lives by inspiring others through our words and actions.

Here are some examples of how you can be a daily influencer in the lives of others:

Reach out to a stranger. Do you ever scroll through social media and see a post that someone seems to be reaching out for feedback, even if just to vent? You can respond in a positive and caring way to let them know they are important. Share a similar experience or give some constructive advice to let them know they are not alone.



Take Time. In our busy days, especially during the current COVID quarantine, we should take time for our friends, our parents, and family. Sit with your family and have some deep conversations about life, hopes, and dreams. Dedicate time each week to a zoom meeting with friends or a phone call to catch up.



What kind of influencer do I want to be? Think about the things that you are passionate about. Join in a cause or start a fundraiser for a charity. Speak out about something positive. Use social media for good, to raise awareness, and to connect with others who share your interests.

Ultimately, we should all strive to be influencers of positivity, compassion, and understanding. Make it a goal today to be a pillar of influence in these areas.

Let’s spread some kindness today!

Love and Blessings,
Maureen

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Why Everyone Should Practice Mindfulness Now More Than Ever

As we all navigated the uncharted waters of the pandemic (and some still are), a deep discovery of who we are came to light. I had so many different conversations that covered the spectrum of human emotion. 

While speaking to some, they repeated stats and news stories, and the fear and uncertainty was apparent in their conscious minds. Still others were sitting on the “we’ll see what happens” fence. In other words, they felt they were driftwood waiting to be taken whichever direction the stream flowed.

The feeling of being out of control was strong. Those in my tribe, the lightworkers, positive thinkers, and mindful souls, dug deep and had some amazing self-realizations. 

During the quarantine – and now – here is how I practiced mindfulness and what I determined my days would instill: 

I Found a Place in My Home That Brings Me Peace
A zen area where I can just “be”. For me, it’s my backyard. I planted a garden, played fetch with the furry babies, and had pool time and scavenger hunts with my granddaughters. It gave me this oasis that I could look forward to spending time in. 

 I Set Intentions Each Morning
I would decide what my day would entail. I would attract new connections and opportunities. I would write and spread my message. I didn’t calculate how each hour would be spent or worry if we had enough cleaning supplies. I injected in my mind a knowing that everything would be joyful, no matter what went on outside the four walls of my home.  

I Avoided What Didn’t Feel Good to Me
I wouldn’t listen to the news and stats about people losing jobs, their lives, or hoarding toilet paper. Some may say this was selfish or naïve, but it was important for me to keep my alignment and place of peace. It’s my journey after all.

I read a post recently that stated, “If you stay in your lane, there is no traffic.” I really resonated with that. Mindfulness is choosing your state of awareness and I chose to only see the rose-lined path. 

I Sent Love and Compassion to Those Who Were Suffering
Without getting sucked in to the sadness and anger, I could give words of encouragement. I would participate in the community of helpers.

We took our puppies for a walk every evening. It was a parade of sorts. My daughter would walk her border collie, the granddaughters would follow along, I took Jade, our chihuahua, and my husband walked Brodie, our Aussie.

On what become our routine path, a neighbor had placed a box by the mailbox where people would put items in for one another. I would bring some goodies to put in it like books, candy, non-perishable food, and other fun stuff. Each time we passed, the grandgirls would run to the box and find a craft item or candy. What a great way to give kindness to our neighbors and say, “we care.”

One day while trying to entertain the kids, I had them paint rocks which they left on door steps and in yards of our neighbors. We started to see the same people each evening and would wave and say hello. I met people I had never spoken to before in 14 years of living in my neighborhood!

That, my friend, is the good that can come from experiences that seems overwhelming and out of our control. We got back to what really matters: Family, friends, neighbors and community. 

Let’s carry forward the beauty and kindness that we learned. Let’s remember the importance of those in our lives when we couldn’t socialize outside of our loved ones. Let’s remember how hugs connect us. Let’s remember to meet new people. Let’s remember to share our abundance. Let’s remember that life is precious and that “things” are not on the priority list any longer. 

Love and Blessings,
Life Coach Maureen

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Introducing Mindfulness & Positivity Seekers: A Facebook Group for Those Who Chase Happiness

Do you thrive on conversations surrounding mindfulness? Do you have an appetite for self-improvement? Are you on the lookout to become part of a community of like-minded individuals?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, join my new Facebook Group, Mindfulness & Positivity Seekers! 

I created this online community as a resource for in-depth conversations surrounding self-improvement, relationships, spirituality, and yes, mindfulness! As a member, you’ll receive exclusive content and offers, witness insightful conversations that could potentially change how you live, and receive support from other motivational members.

I can’t wait to see all the good things that will come out of this community!

Love and Blessings,
Maureen

I Want to Join!

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If It Matters to You, It Should Matter to Me

During this quarantine, I have been so fortunate to be able to have my granddaughters staying with me. Although it can be tough trying to entertain a 6 and 8 year old, it’s been very fun.

Last night, we had a camping night with a bonfire, s’mores and a tent. The girls went into the house and brought out all of the important things they would need to sleep in the tent in backyard. As they showed us what they packed (3 or 4 backpacks full)  it was a curious thing to see what they deemed as “essentisl.” There were pajamas, bathing suits (for a midnight swim, they proclaimed), makeup, books (4 or more chapter books),  stuffed animals (4+), headbands, robe and slippers, and a multitude of toys. 

Now the adults may not think these things were vital being they were only 10 feet away from the house, but it made me realize that what’s important to others may not seem important to us, and I might add,it may seem strange, over the top, or “crazy”. 

In addition, I recall cleaning out my grandmother’s apartment when she had Alzheimer’s disease and had to move to my parents house for supervision and care. My mother would ask, “what did she keep that for” or “why does she have this?” I remember thinking, one day when I pass, will my sentimental things be tossed or donated? How will anyone know what it meant to me? I would then justify, well my family knows me so they will keep what mattered to me. 

In the same way, there are actions and words that we each find necessary for our happiness and well-being. The problem is that others aren’t concerned with your needs, they are focused on their own. If you take the time to really listen and observe people in your life – friends, loved ones, children – they will show you by word or action what matters most to them. 

Will you give what others are needing for validation and acceptance or will you view through your own emotional viewer and give what YOU think is important?

Here’s a great example: Your father mentions that he hasn’t seen you in awhile. You personally like to have space and feel like you wouldn’t want to intrude or take up someone’s time. If you break down what your father said, it’s this, “I miss you, I feel unimportant, I’d like you to spend time with me so I feel valued.” 

Let’s really work to focus on others and take the time to figure out how to be kind, giving, and understanding of the needs of souls around us whom may not express it outright.  

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person- Fred Rogers 

We’re all in this together and it’s a great time to evaluate how to be better than we were yesterday! 

Love and Blessings, 
Maureen

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How “My Dog is More Enlightened Than I Am “...During Quarantine

What Are Pets Are Saying During COVID-19!

Message From My Furry Babies:

1.) If my dog mommy wants to take lots of naps, that’s fine with me, it’s what I do all day in many different places!

2.) If mommy wants to binge-watch that big box with pictures on it, I love to snuggle so let’s do this!

3.) When mommy and dog daddy take me for my 10th walk of the day to get outside, I still get excited because there are lots of new smells every-time!

4.) When I get another treat for being such a good boy/girl, I joyfully take it even if I’m full and may need to eat mommy’s grass to feel better...

5.) As mom starts yet another project, I will be curious and get right in the middle so she knows I support her creativity.

6.) When mommy goes potty, I will be sure to keep her company and watch as she does for me! (lol)!

7.) If mommy wants to dress me up in many of those funny clothes, I will let her because she tells me I’m sooooooo pretty!

8.) Now that I get baths so often, I’ll be sure to shake off the water real good so mommy can cool off with me!

9.) I will take out every toy in my box so mommy can pick out her favorite too.

10.) I will go where she goes, rest when she rests, and try to bring smiles and laughter every day because...that’s my purpose and I’m so enlightened!!

~Maureen Scanlon, Author and Life Coach

Why COVID-19 Plays on Our Worst Human Qualities

As we all navigate the current pandemic situation, let’s reflect on the facts:

The virus has incurred 36 deaths nationwide in the US. There has been a 3.4% mortality rate worldwide; Italy being the main contributor at 1441 deaths total (due to the high population of elderly)  This is less than the SARS and MER viruses from years prior that were NOT declared a Pandemic…

We Are All Saying the Same Thing!

Something has really come to my attention lately. It’s been inserting itself over and over in my daily life. 
I’m certain you are similar to myself in that when you wake up in the morning, you scroll through your social media accounts and see memes, motivational quotes, and videos. Your friends post about their lives, their businesses, and ask for prayers for themselves or family members. 

If you watch TEDx videos, listen to podcasts, or even watch the Google commercial from the NFL Superbowl, you can’t help but notice that the message is the same. Enjoy your life and be happy! This is the very simplified version… so let’s go further.

I recently attended two different seminars that caught my attention. They were about how to be successful in your business. As I sat in these seminars, I made this huge revelation that we are all saying the same things because we all WANT the same things! I’ve made my own speeches and wrote the same variations of ideas in blogs, and my book, “My Dog is More Enlightened Than I Am,” as those who are also working to help others in their lives and careers.  

Dalai Lama: “When we are born, we have no idea of nationality or religious faith. We are just human beings who want to be happy”. 

Mother Theresa: “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved”

 Jim Carrey: “When you compromise and fail, it hurts worse than failing at what you love”

Mahatma Ghandi: “Be the change you want to see in the world”

Christopher Reeve- “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible”

Albert Einstein- “A true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination”

Lucille Ball- “Love Yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world” 

All of these inspirational, talented, and spiritual beings are essentially saying the same things, regardless of differing religions, backgrounds, occupations, or beliefs. 

If I may be so bold as to sum up the thousands of years of human existence to these below ideas that recirculate throughout time in different languages, cultures, and religions, it is this: 
We are here to accept, validate, help, support, forgive, be compassionate and love one another. We are co-creating in each generation to make the next one better. To introduce new ideas and larger views of the world around us. If we remove the barriers of religion, politics, and childhood programming, we are a conglomerate of amazing innovators. Be open to ideas and views of others. 

“I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me”- Dudley Field Malone 

We have a purpose here, it is to learn, grow, accept, create, enhance, forgive, believe, expand and love ourselves! We grow from the experiences we have asked for. The greater the pain, the greater the lesson. You do not want to leave this earth as the same person you came as. You want your years to have counted. Your “dash” (time between birth and death on your headstone) should be a legacy that lives on in those you have interacted with and loved.

When you go out into your day today, whatever you hear and see, look through the viewfinder of “We are all saying the same thing”.
Love and Blessings Maureen 

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New Year, New…. Nope

So it’s the beginning of January and all you see posted is, “New Year, New Me.” I don’t know why but this just doesn’t sit well with me. Is it the generalization that the “old” you isn’t good enough or that somehow something old should be replaced? That suddenly clearing the hard drive of our souls and the calculation of time spent so far in this reality will clear a way for the life we want? 

I feel it sends a message that we just plain don’t like who we have become and we must erase the experiences, choices, and thoughts we have made about ourselves.

Let me say this- The old you has gone through situations that made you wiser, stronger and capable of anything! The old you made choices that helped you grow and share your story with others so they can connect and explore their own lives.The old you knows the gamut of emotions that life brings. The highs and lows, goods and bads, so you continue to follow your heart and dreams. The old you decided to keep going, pushing forward to what next lies ahead. The old you is in search of purpose and fulfillment. The old you knows what doesn’t work. 

The definition of NEW is this..
new/n(y)o͞o/adjective
1. not existing before; made, introduced, or discovered recently or now for the first time.

Without sounding entirely too enlighten-y, let’s be clear, YOU HAVE existed, made, introduced and discovered yourself! And guess what? Who you are in this New Year is amazing! You’ve earned all that you are in this moment- minute by minute, month by month, year by year, you did it. 

If we want some catchy new trendy phrase, I’m going out on a limb and saying this- New Year with more learning, growth and possibilities. New opportunities to be an even better me! Please, for goodness sake, don’t discard the wonderful human you have become! 

May you continue this journey with an open mind, find humor in everything , have fun, and a willingness to continue the path of growth, greatness, and purpose that your years of being YOU thus far have brought to the world  

Happy New Year,
Maureen

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