Marc Lesser's Blog, page 4
October 31, 2024
Do You Remember? Three Transformative Poems
I keep coming back to this statement by Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki:
“The purpose of our lives is to cross the shore from confusion to being awake.
The secret is that we cross this shore with every step we take.”
The first part of the statement, describing purpose, feels clear and compelling. It presents a simple, straightforward, and somewhat audacious model or roadmap for this lifetime. It describes an aspiration; to see more clearly, to let go of false beliefs, to drop whatever might be holding us back. This is an aspiration that seems to need regular remembering. It can easily get lost, buried, in the day-to-day activities of our lives.
The second statement, “the secret” may be more challenging. Here is where poetry, and transformation comes in. My first response in reading about “the secret” is “Huh?, What does that mean?” It seems to totally contradict the first statement. It challenges or defies our usual logical mind and understanding.
The “secret” is an expression of Big Mind, or The Absolute, or the non-relative and sacred world. By putting these two statements together, I think that Shunryu Suzuki is asserting that everything is both ordinary and sacred. We have to make an effort to see clearly, and at the same time, however we view or measure our effort or our progress, we are already there – that’s the secret, in plain sight.
Perhaps some poetry might help. It has a way of cutting through our dualistic language, ideas, and models. It’s good for leadership; good for re-discovering purpose, and delving into both purpose and secret.
Practice: Read these poems. Try reading them out loud. Open your mind, heart, and intuition. Write down a few lines and place them somewhere that helps you to remember.
The Word by Tony Hoagland,
Down near the bottom
of the crossed-out list
of things you have to do today,
between “green thread”
and “broccoli” you find
that you have penciled “sunlight.”
Resting on the page, the word
is as beautiful, it touches you
as if you had a friend
and sunlight were a present
he had sent you from some place distant
as this morning — to cheer you up,
and to remind you that,
among your duties, pleasure
is a thing,
that also needs accomplishing
Do you remember?
that time and light are kinds
of love, and love
is no less practical
than a coffee grinder
or a safe spare tire? …..
Two lines that particularly grab my attention in reading this poem:
1) Among your duties, pleasure is a thing…
It’s easy to forget and not prioritize pleasure. The pleasure of a child’s smile, of the taste of a grape, listening to music or laughter.
2) Time and light are kinds of love…
A beautiful expression of Big Mind, seeing that everything, all of the ordinary objects and ideas of everyday life are forms of love.
(Fall in Missoula, Montana)
My Life Was the Size of My Life, by Jane Hirshfield
My life was the size of my life.
Its rooms were room-sized,
its soul was the size of a soul.
In its background, mitochondria hummed,
above it sun, clouds, snow,
the transit of stars and planets.
It rode elevators, bullet trains,
various airplanes, a donkey.
It wore socks, shirts, its own ears and nose.
It ate, it slept, it opened
and closed its hands, its windows.
Others, I know, had lives larger.
Others, I know, had lives shorter.
The depth of lives, too, is different.
There were times my life and I made jokes together.
There were times we made bread.
Once, I grew moody and distant.
I told my life I would like some time,
I would like to try seeing others.
In a week, my empty suitcase and I returned.
I was hungry, then, and my life,
my life, too, was hungry, we could not keep
our hands off our clothes on
our tongues from
I love this poem’s conversation, with your life. It’s a way of remembering, from a different perspective. Remembering the daily mundane movements, with reflection and insights. And yet, each word feels like an offering, a way to be surprised, creative, and live with a sense of wonder.
Remind Me, by William Stafford
Remind me again—together we
trace our strange journey, find
each other, come on laughing.
Some time we’ll cross where life
ends. We’ll both look back
as far as forever, that first day.
I’ll touch you—a new world then.
Stars will move a different way.
We’ll both end. We’ll both begin.
Remind me again.
I feel a little strange commenting on any of these poems. This poem as well, by William Stafford, plays with the ordinary and sacred “We’ll look back as far as forever…”
What I’m Reading
There’s a Hair In My Dirt, by Gary Larsen – A children’s book with an important message about our relationship with nature. It’s like a Gary Larsen cartoon expanded into a surprising story.
What I’m Cooking: Ginger Tofu
Simple, easy, and tasty.
Cut a block of tofu into small pieces.
Marinate for a few minutes, or a few hours in some soy sauce, fresh ginger, a bit of olive oil.
A touch of balsamic vinegar if you like.
Nutritional yeast is nice too.
Heat and enjoy.
Of course you can always saute some mushrooms or spinach first, then add the tofu.
Appreciating Your Life: A 3-Month Zen Practice Period
January 8th – April 2nd, 2025
Online
A 3-month Practice Period is a great way to begin or deepen your mindfulness and meditation practice and cultivate ways for integrating mindfulness practice with your work and all parts of your life.
Online meetings are Wednesday from 6:00 – 7:30 p.m. PT. We will begin each session with 30 minutes of lightly guided meditation, followed by a short talk, as well as small group and large group discussions.
The theme for the Practice Period is Appreciating Your Life. This is the underlying theme of meditation practice and Zen practice – seeing and feeling everything, the good, bad, ugly, beautiful – as gift and an opportunity to learn, grow, and engage. It’s the practice of feeling deeply, opening our hearts and minds, with a mindset of appreciation, and of being of benefit, through our ability to see more clearly, to accept what is, and work effectively with change and for change.
Our focus will be on how Zen practice can be integrated into daily life to help us:
– cultivate greater wellbeing
– navigate change and challenges
– discover more meaning and purpose in work and relationship
Our primary reading for the practice period is Branching Streams Flow In The Darkness, Zen Talks on a poem called the Sandokai, or the Harmony of Difference and Equality. This is an excellent primer on the non-dual teachings in Zen practice and how to apply them to your wellbeing, relationships, work, and social and environmental responsibility.
Being part of a community that meets weekly is a powerful way to find more clarity and connection as we begin a New Year. Each week we will meditate together for 30 minutes. Then, I’ll give a short talk, unpacking ideas and practices from Branching Stream Flow In The Darkness. We will have a variety of small group and large group discussions, to practice and deepen the tools and themes discussed. Each week you will leave with an actionable practice and a suggested reading.
Weekly sessions will be recorded and made available in case you miss any sessions or want to revisit them.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Do You Remember? Three Transformative Poems appeared first on Marc Lesser.
October 24, 2024
Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard!? The Wisdom of Homer Simpson
A few of my favorite Homerisms:
“Lisa, I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life: 1) Cover for me. 2) Oh, good idea. 3) It was like that when I got here.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
Lisa, if you don’t like your job, you don’t go on strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.”
I appreciate Homer’s unique perspective on the world. Despite his best efforts, nothing ever quite goes right for him. His approach 1) makes me smile (a little); and 2) provides a bit of comic relief; some important qualities, whether in thinking about our upcoming election or the various immense challenges in our world. Some perspective can be important in facing the challenges in our personal lives — too much to do and not enough time, as well as not enough resources, clarity, meaning, and connection.
I find that a touch of humor and a somewhat alternative perspective can help shift my mindset from a sense of lack to a sense of possibility. You’ve probably noticed that the future is really hard to predict. It is easy to catastrophize, doubt, and rant. (A good rant now and then can be useful, as in Homer’s — Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard!?)
For perspective in difficult times, in addition to the wisdom of Homer Simpson, I find myself returning to the core lessons from Erik Larson’s book The Splendid and the Vile. I appreciate the way he describes Winston Churchill’s philosophy in approaching the most challenging and uncertain times of World War II, while London was being firebombed by German airplanes. His core approach is:
No Sugar coating – No sugar coating means not turning away from how bad things are. (They are bad!) Disturbing things are happening. A few minutes of reading the newspaper any morning can be quite alarming.Cautious Optimism – There are lots of positive, wonderful, amazing things happening as well. So much to be cautiously optimistic about. The combination of no sugar coating and cautious optimism is a potent mix.Purpose and Meaning – We humans are creatures of purpose, meaning, and story. During difficult times, it can help to return to the questions of “why” and “what really matters.?I’m often quoting Shunryu Suzuki who said that “The purpose of our lives is to cross the shore from confusion to clarity. The secret is that we cross this shore with every breath.”
(Fall Leaves, Missoula, Montana)
To practice:
– No sugar coating – being curious about the truth.
– Cautious Optimism – seeing what’s possible?
– Purpose and Meaning – returning to the “why” and asking “what’s most important?”
Try combining these practices with a bit of Homer Simpson’s humor. For example:
“Weasling out of things is important; it’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.”
What I’m Cooking: Steamed Kale
Many years ago I was hosting an event in my home and one of the dishes I was making was a large pot of steamed kale. A friend came to look and taste and inquired “Marc, is that your signature dish?” Without hesitating, I responded “Yes.” I don’t really have a signature dish, but I do love to cook, and this is one of my super easy quick favorites.
· One bunch of kale. Strip the leaves from the stems, and wash.
· Steam for about five minutes (or to whatever timing works best for you.)
· Season with olive oil, salt, and nutritional yeast.
I love the simplicity of cooking and eating a fresh vegetable. (And, it’s really yummy.)
(More Fall Leaves, Missoula, Montana)
Appreciating Your Life: A 3-Month Zen Practice Period
January 8th – April 2nd, 2025
Online
A 3-month Practice Period is a great way to begin or deepen your mindfulness and meditation practice and cultivate ways for integrating mindfulness practice with your work and all parts of your life.
Online meetings are Wednesday from 6:00 – 7:30 p.m. PT. We will begin each session with 30 minutes of lightly guided meditation, followed by a short talk, as well as small group and large group discussions.
The theme for the Practice Period is Appreciating Your Life. This is the underlying theme of meditation practice and Zen practice – seeing and feeling everything, the good, bad, ugly, beautiful – as gift and an opportunity to learn, grow, and engage. It’s the practice of feeling deeply, opening our hearts and minds, with a mindset of appreciation, and of being of benefit, through our ability to see more clearly, to accept what is, and work effectively with change and for change.
Our focus will be on how Zen practice can be integrated into daily life to help us:
– cultivate greater wellbeing
– navigate change and challenges
– discover more meaning and purpose in work and relationship
Our primary reading for the practice period is Branching Streams Flow In The Darkness, Zen Talks on a poem called the Sandokai, or the Harmony of Difference and Equality. This is an excellent primer on the non-dual teachings in Zen practice and how to apply them to your wellbeing, relationships, work, and social and environmental responsibility.
Being part of a community that meets weekly is a powerful way to find more clarity and connection as we begin a New Year. Each week we will meditate together for 30 minutes. Then, I’ll give a short talk, unpacking ideas and practices from Branching Stream Flow In The Darkness. We will have a variety of small group and large group discussions, to practice and deepen the tools and themes discussed. Each week you will leave with an actionable practice and a suggested reading.
Weekly sessions will be recorded and made available in case you miss any sessions or want to revisit them.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Why Does Everything Have To Be So Hard!? The Wisdom of Homer Simpson appeared first on Marc Lesser.
October 17, 2024
Amnesia and Anesthesia: Remembering To Remember; Feeling Deeply
Two core ills of our culture are amnesia and anesthesia, forgetting and not feeling. This comes from Frances Weller’s beautiful book The Wild Edge of Sorrow.
Strange, isn’t it, what we remember and what we forget?
I remember walking through a cemetery on my way to grade school in Colonia, New Jersey but have little memory of walking to high school.
I remember holding my mother’s hand and breathing with her as she took her last breath, on my living room couch, in 1995.
I remember witnessing my son and daughter being born, emerging from their mother’s body.
I remember walking into the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center courtyard for the first time when I was 22 years old, and hearing laughter emanating from the kitchen, the sound of the creek, and the bells coming from the meditation hall. I immediately felt deeply at home (and then lived at the Zen Center for 10 years…)
Mindfulness practice, mindful leadership, and Zen practice could be described as practices for remembering and feeling. The core practice of meditation is creating some time and space each day to remember who you are and to allow feelings to emerge, raw, unedited, with no agenda. Nothing to improve. Nothing to gain or lose.
· It’s easy forget your true nature (as well as your keys).
· It’s easy to forget that everything has been given to us, including our bodies and minds, the air we breathe, and each other.
· It’s easy forget that we are alive for a rather short time.
· It’s easy to avoid feeling the depth of our loneliness and sadness, to avoid the pain that we will lose everyone and everything.
· It’s easy to not feel the immense joy and comfort that we are never alone, that we are not separate from nature, from this awesome, mysterious, and sacred world.
This statement is chanted three times every morning in many Zen practice centers. I think of it is a practice of remembering and of feeling:
“All my ancient twisted karma, from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion, born through body, speech, and mind, I now fully avow.”
The word avow means to affirm, with a sense of remembering or calling out. In this statement it is a way of acknowledging and transforming our own and the world’s greed, hate, and delusion.
Practice:
Remember to remember – during meditation, journal writing, or simply pausing.
Remember to feel – allowing strong feelings of sadness and grief, joy and appreciation to arise.
(Sunrise in Mill Valley, California, from my living room)
Appreciating Your Life: A 3-Month Zen Practice Period
January 8th – April 2nd, 2025
Online
I’m happy to announce a 3-month Practice Period beginning January 8th, 2025. This is a great way to begin or deepen your mindfulness and meditation practice and cultivate ways for integrating mindfulness practice with your work and all parts of your life. Each week there is a suggested reading, short talk, and discussion from the book Branching Streams Flow In The Darkness, a collection of talks by Shunryu Suzuki.
Online meetings are Wednesday from 6:00 – 7:30 p.m. PT. We will begin each session with 30 minutes of lightly guided meditation, followed by a short talk, as well as small group and large group discussions.
The theme for the Practice Period is Appreciating Your Life. This is the underlying theme of meditation practice and Zen practice – seeing and feeling everything, the good, bad, ugly, beautiful – as gift and an opportunity to learn, grow, and engage. It’s the practice of feeling deeply, opening our hearts and minds, with a mindset of appreciation, and of being of benefit, through our ability to see more clearly, to accept what is, and work effectively with change and for change.
Our primary reading for the practice period is Branching Streams Flow In The Darkness, Zen Talks on a poem called the Sandokai, or the Harmony of Difference and Equality. This is an excellent primer on the non-dual teachings in Zen practice and how to apply them to your wellbeing, relationships, work, and social and environmental responsibility.
Being part of a community that meets weekly is a powerful way to find more clarity and connection as we begin a New Year.
To register and for more information.
A Favorite Quote
from Steve Jobs 2005 Stanford Commencement speech
“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
What I’m Watching
My Brilliant Friend – Beautiful and deep storytelling. Season 4 is now being released. It follows the lifelong friendship of two girls, Elena and Lila, growing up in a poor neighborhood in Naples, Italy. Their lives diverge as they navigate education, family, love, and societal expectations, reflecting Italy’s changing post-war landscape.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Amnesia and Anesthesia: Remembering To Remember; Feeling Deeply appeared first on Marc Lesser.
October 10, 2024
Delusions Are Inexhaustible, I Vow To End Them
An egg of an eagle once mysteriously ended up in a chicken coop. The eagle hatches and grows up among the chickens, believing it is one of them. It scratches the ground for food. It never attempts to fly, convinced by its environment that it is a chicken.
One day, an eagle flying overhead spots the grounded bird and approaches. The eagle asks why the grounded bird is acting like a chicken, and the bird responds that it is one.
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The visiting eagle takes the grounded eagle to a pond, where it sees its reflection and realizes its profound and obvious delusion.
This moment of awakening shows the eagle that it was always meant to soar, always born not to live confined by the limitations it had adopted from the chickens.
Are you an eagle, convinced you are a chicken?
Of course there are some chickens mistakenly thinking they are eagles. However, the human tendency to radically underestimate personal power, self-worth, and imagination are generally a more popular delusion.
I think of these two statements: 1) Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them; and
2) Beings are numberless, I vow to save them (or serve them)
as core human practices, and ideally core human ways of being and living in the world.
They could be boiled down to: 1) Work to see more clearly (and it’s not easy). Aspire to notice your biases and delusions; 2) Help others.
Simple. Basic. Right?
And yet, since delusions are “inexhaustible” the practice of ending them is somewhere between impossible and aspirational.
These statements are intended cut through the usual dichotomy of optimistic and pessimistic.
Here are some teachings about practicing with delusions:
Thich Nhat Hanh:
“Our biggest delusion is believing that happiness comes from external conditions, rather than from within. Peace is possible only when we understand this.”
Margaret Atwood:
“A delusion is something that people believe in despite a total lack of evidence. It’s amazing how many people embrace delusions to avoid facing uncomfortable truths.”
Shunryu Suzuki:
Delusion is the idea that we have a self, separate from everything else.”
Carl Jung:
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine, or idealism. We must beware of our own ideas and beliefs—they can become our delusions.”
Simone de Beauvoir:
“It is a delusion to believe that a woman cannot transcend her biological destiny. Freedom comes when we recognize the structures that confine us and choose to transcend them.”
Another favorite delusion story comes from the work of Daniel Kahneman. He describes how an Israeli fighter pilot instructor was sure that every time he praised a pilot for a great maneuver, the next time the pilot performed worse. Conversely, when he criticized a pilot for a poor maneuver, the pilot improved afterward. To this instructor, it seemed clear that punishment worked better than praise.
Kahneman clarifies that whenever we perform any task really well, it is likely the following time the performance will decrease, regardless of being praised or criticized, and that when we perform a task badly, the following performance is likely to improve, regardless of praise or criticism. Kahneman describes this phenomenon as “regression to the mean” and one of many delusions in thinking that others actions are related to or caused by our intervention, as opposed to natural variations. This kind of delusion can be seen in many work situations, parenting, or various relationship issues.
Practices:
Explore, with curiosity — what are your favorite delusions? For example, when are you overly optimistic, or overly pessimistic?
What is your practice for seeing more clearly?
A Zen Poem: Harmony of Difference and Equality
Here is a portion of this revered poem from 8th century China (A poem meant to cut through our delusions.)
Fire heats, wind moves,
water wets, earth is solid.
Eye and sights, ear and sounds, nose and smells, tongue and tastes;
Thus with each and every thing, depending on these roots, the leaves spread forth.
Trunk and branches share the essence;
revered and common, each has its speech.
In the light there is darkness, but don’t take it as darkness;
In the dark there is light, but don’t see it as light.
Light and dark oppose one another
like the front and back foot in walking.
Each of the myriad things has its merit,
expressed according to function and place.
Phenomena exist; box and lid fit.
principle responds; arrow points meet.
Hearing the words, understand the meaning;
don’t set up standards of your own.
If you don’t understand the way right before you, how will you know the path as you walk?
Progress is not a matter of far or near,
but if you are confused, mountains and rivers block your way.
I respectfully urge you who study the mystery, do not pass your days and nights in vain.
For more on this poem see the book, Branching Stream Flow in the Darkness, by Shunryu Suzuki
What I’m Watching
Dark Winds – A TV series about a Navajo police officer that explores the conflict between ancient customs and the modern world.
Half Day Retreats
December 8th, In Person and Online, in Mill Valley
January 26th, 2025, In Person and Online, in Mill Valley.
In our world of busyness, of more/faster/better, this half-day retreat offers time to stop, reflect, and renew. We will explore the practices of effort and effortless as a path to well-being and “stepping into your life.” Together we’ll follow a gentle schedule of sitting and walking meditation, a talk, and some discussion. Anyone looking to begin or deepen a meditation and mindfulness practice is invited to attend. What is meditation? I like a definition proposed by Dogen, the 13th century founder of Zen in Japan: “The practice I speak of is not meditation. It is simply the dharma gate of repose and bliss…It is the manifestation of ultimate reality…Once its heart is grasped, you are like a dragon when he gains the water, like a tiger when she enters the mountains.”
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Delusions Are Inexhaustible, I Vow To End Them appeared first on Marc Lesser.
September 26, 2024
Cartwheeling In Thunderstorms
Cartwheeling In Thunderstorms is a children’s book by Katherine Rundell. I haven’t read the book, but look forward to reading it.
I love the title. I feel like most days I and our world are doing cartwheels in the midst of thunderstorms. Some days the thunderstorms make cartwheels difficult or impossible. Other times I don’t mind getting wet and though the sound of thunder doesn’t exactly go away it doesn’t stop me from exploring possibility, some joy, and even a touch of optimism. The thunder can be frightening or beautiful, even sacred. This feels true in today’s political landscape, the chaos of our world, and the events and challenges personally and in my communities of work, family, relationships.
In an interview published in September 25, NY Times Katherine says:
“The unifying thread is that our world, as chaotic and burning as it is, demands our astonishment because of its beauty, its generosity, and its intricate variety. It’s so colossal that to not salute it would be a failure of imagination, perception, and intelligence. And so I want these books to say ‘Pay attention, You owe the world your attention. You owe the world your love.”
I also find this book title a great description of mindful leadership or what I’m calling Cosmic, Transcendent, and Grounded Leadership.
“Cosmic leadership” refers to a leadership style that transcends the personal and embraces universal principles, guiding vision and actions with a sense of interconnectedness and higher purpose.
It’s a way of including or integrating cartwheels and thunderstorms. It means embracing being:
· Playful and serious.
· Visionary and grounded.
· Intuitive and decisive.
· Ordinary and sacred.
Doing cartwheels means paying attention, with love, imagination, and intelligence. The practice of doing cartwheels raises these questions:
How can I help? How can I serve?
What do I need to be happy, and to help others be happy?
What if it were easy and enjoyable?
What brings me and others alive?
How can I let go of mistaken beliefs, old and not useful habits and patterns?
(Fog approaching Mt. Tamalpais in Mill Valley)
The practice of paying attention to the thunderstorms leads me to ask:
How do I not turn away from the chaos and insanity of our world?
How can I be present and curious for my own and others pain and confusion?
Where is the thunder coming from? What is my role in creating or reducing the thunder?
The practice of cosmic leadership makes me think about my former mentor, Yurok-trained shaman Harry Roberts. I first met Harry when I was a young Zen student, living at the San Francisco Zen Center’s Green Gulch Farm. At the time I needed to learn to weld, to repair a variety of old horse-drawn equipment.
Harry taught me that the secret to welding is to see that many things in our world, including ourselves and the material world, appear as more solid than they are. When we weld, we apply heat to metal so that it unfreezes and the fluidity becomes more obvious and apparent. We can then shape metal to a form that we can use. He went on to say that our lives are like this. The conditions of our world, our view of ourselves and others, appear as solid. We can unfreeze these through our attention, our love, and our vision of what’s possible.
And, another mentor, who died a few years before I began practicing at the San Francisco Zen Center, Shunryu Suzuki says:
“Everything is within our mind.
Usually we think there are many things out there.
In Buddhism, mind and being are one, not different.
As there is no limit to cosmic being, there is no limit to our mind;
our mind reaches everywhere.
It already includes the stars,
so our mind is not just our mind.
It is something greater than small mind and that we think is our mind.”
– Shunryu Suzuki, Branching Streams Flow In the Darkness
A Favorite Quote
“Usually we are not interested in the nothingness of the ground. Our tendency is to be interested in something that is growing in the garden, not in the bare soil itself. But If you want to have a good harvest, the most important thing is to make the soil rich.
Shunryu Suzuki, Not Always So
A Poem
Just Thinking, by William Stafford
Got up on a cool morning. Leaned out a window.
No cloud, no wind. Air that flowers held
for awhile. Some dove somewhere.
Been on probation most of my life. And
the rest of my life been condemned. So these moments
count for a lot–peace, you know.
Let the bucket of memory down into the well,
bring it up. Cool, cool minutes. No one
stirring, no plans. Just being there.
This is what the whole thing is about.
Half Day Sitting, In-Person and Online – Sunday October 13th
9:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. in Mill Valley.
I really like half day retreats, where there is time for some extended meditation periods, some walking, and time to process with a small community. Then, time to enjoy a Sunday afternoon. Join me if you can.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Cartwheeling In Thunderstorms appeared first on Marc Lesser.
September 19, 2024
The Joy Of Resisting Change
Sometimes I resist change on many levels. Yet as an old saw goes, the only constant is change. We can’t avoid it.
I recently met with one of my executive coaching clients, Robert, who was describing how well everything in his life was going. He has a tenured teaching position at a major US university doing work that has great value and that he enjoys immensely. His wife is the CEO of a significant and influential nonprofit. And his children, after going through some difficult growing pains, are all doing really well at school and at home.
As Robert happily reported how positive everything was, I celebrated with him. It is important to acknowledge the good times and appreciate life whenever we’re happy, healthy, and satisfied. Then again, ideally, we might appreciate each moment of our lives, even when things are not going so well, or even falling apart.
I didn’t want to say what I was thinking, which was that Robert’s rosy situation wouldn’t last. Children grow up and leave home. Bosses and colleagues quit or get fired. Companies go out of business. Markets change, societies change, priorities change.
If we are lucky, we will get old, surviving every sickness and injury, even as everything and everyone we know and love changes, becomes lost, or ends.
I overcame my resistance and asked Robert if he was familiar with what are called the Five Remembrances of Buddhism. He wasn’t, so I described them, along with the statement we can say to embody them:
1. The inevitability of aging: “I am of the nature to grow old; there is no way to escape growing old.”
2. The certainty of illness: “I am of the nature to have ill-health; there is no way to escape having ill-health.”
3. The reality of death: “I am of the nature to die; there is no way to escape death.”
4. The impermanence of possessions and relationships: “All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change; there is no way to escape being separated from them.”
5. The law of the consequences of actions: “My actions are my only true belongings; I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand.”
(On the trail above Pirates Cove, Marin Headlands)
Like most people, I feel resistance to each of these statements. I avoid them. For instance, when I turned sixty, I changed my pretend age from thirty-seven to forty-seven. My pretend age (perhaps) serves me well.
Nevertheless, despite my personal resistance, I’m drawn to incorporate and bring forward the Five Remembrances in my coaching and teaching. I ask people and groups to say them out loud. Sometimes I even say them to myself, when I’m alone. When I’m meditating.
And what I’ve noticed is that the more I accept and integrate that we are really only here for a short time, the more I appreciate everything: my breath, the clouds, the trees. My family and friends. My life. Even the ants.
Practice:
Explore giving voice to or writing the Five Remembrances, with an attitude of warmhearted curiosity.
Video
Here is an old video of Richard Baker driving Suzuki Roshi to Tassajara.
My Favorite Quote This Week
“The more you practice zazen, the more you will be interested in your everyday life.
You will discover what is necessary and what is not; what part to correct and what part to emphasize more.
So by practice you will know how to organize your life.”
– Shunryu Suzuki
Half Day Sitting, In-Person and Online – Sunday October 13th
9:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. in Mill Valley.
I really like half day retreats, where there is time for some extended meditation periods, some walking, and time to process with a small community. Then, time to enjoy a Sunday afternoon.
Weekend Retreat In-person, Green Gulch Farm
November 1 – 3
Come spend the weekend at Green Gulch Farm, located on the coast, just north of San Francisco. Wake up hearing the sound of the ocean, enjoy the simple but amazing vegetarian food, and explore the garden, farm, and coastal trails.
In our world of busyness, of more, faster, better, this retreat offers time to stop, reflect, and renew – a time to step fully into the richness of your life. Together we’ll follow a gentle schedule of sitting and walking meditation, interspersed with talks and discussions from the wisdom of Zen teaching as we explore how these stories and dialogues may be utilized in our relationships, our work, and our lives
This retreat is open to all people interested in stopping, exploring, and bringing more awareness and mindfulness to daily life.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post The Joy Of Resisting Change appeared first on Marc Lesser.
September 12, 2024
Retire Now: Don’t Wait
Insights Into Practices: Retire Now
Two Of My Favorite Quotes
What I’m Reading
Half-day Retreat – October 13th
A successful and skilled business leader that I am coaching recently expressed that he was feeling weary and stressed. He said that he was beginning to think about taking a 3 – 6 month sabbatical at some future time. Then he said he is eagerly imagining retiring at some much later date. Neither of these plans seemed realistic or relevant to his current experience.
“What if you don’t wait? What if you take sabbatical now, or even better, retire now!” I suggested.
He smiled, a little. I could see his shoulders drop, and some energy enter his body.
“Why wait? Explore this week, approaching each day of your work as though it is part of your sabbatical or part of your “early retirement.”
I could see more energy, relaxing, and a big smile.
It is easy to feel as though we are the victims of our circumstances. It is easy to define ourselves, define our lives by putting everything into separate categories and boxes — work or play, relaxed or stressed, calm or active, easy or difficult, work or retire.
What might retiring now look like? Explore infusing each day with a little more spaciousness, more enjoyment. Try on approaching each day with a greater sense of curiosity and appreciation. It might look like asking questions including:
What’s possible?
How can I be of service?
What most brings me alive at work?
I’m drawn to this quote by Chögyam Trungpa. His words cut through tendencies to grasp onto what is known, to safety and security, even when holding on limits or imprisons us.
“The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute.
The good news is there’s no ground.
Delusion is trying to grasp for something solid in this fleeting world.”
A core aspect of mindful work or mindful leadership is loosening or letting go of these categories and definitions that can narrow our choices and take away our freedom and power.
Retiring now doesn’t mean avoiding, denying, or suppressing challenges, pains, and difficulties. Be real. Notice your energy, your feelings, and whatever story you are telling yourself about your work or your life.
Then, try on a different story, a new context.
[image error](One of my first jobs: learning to farm with horses, at Zen Center’s Green Gulch Farm.)
Practices:
What might retiring now look like for you? What stops you and what supports you?
Explore journal writing with these prompts:
What am I doing with this life?
What am I doing with these fleeting days?
Retire Now; Never Retire; Just Enjoy Your Retirement
People sometimes ask me when I plan to retire. One of my responses is that I feel as though I “retired” when I was 22 years old. Though I’ve worked my entire adult life, my work has been integrated with my values and my heart. I don’t have plans for stopping.
And, when it comes to actual retirement, it can be somewhat of a trap. Here is a diagram from a recent Wall Street Journal article about how most people spend their retirement. I was struck by the number of hours people spend watching television and how few hours are spent socializing and communicating. Retirement itself can become somewhat of a narrow box.
On the other hand, I know many people who love being retired, through finding a great combination of letting go, meaningful relationships, and useful activities. Someone once asked Shunryu Suzuki why we practice. His response, “So you will be happy in your old age.”
[image error]Source: WSJ
Some Favorite Quotes
“If you learn to enjoy waiting, you don’t have to wait to enjoy.”
– Kaz Tanahashi
(This quote from my friend Kaz comes in handy in traffic, on lines, and in many daily situations.)
“The most important point is to establish yourself in a true sense, without establishing yourself on delusion. And yet we cannot live or practice without delusion. Delusion is necessary, but delusion is not something on which you can establish yourself. It is like a stepladder…you don’t stay on the stepladder.
– Shunryu Suzuki
What I’m Reading
The Signal and the Noise: Why Some Predictions Fail, But Some Don’t – An exploration of probability and uncertainty that feels extremely relevant and useful in many parts of daily life.
Half Day Sitting, In-Person and Online – Sunday October 13th
9:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. in Mill Valley.
I really like half day retreats, where there is time for some extended meditation periods, some walking, and time to process with a small community. Then, time to enjoy a Sunday afternoon.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Retire Now: Don’t Wait appeared first on Marc Lesser.
September 5, 2024
Why Meditate?: Some Answers From Epigenetics and Zen Teacher Dogen
· Insights Into Practices: Epigenetics and Dogen
· What I’m Watching: Lessons In Chemistry; One Day
· What I’m Reading: Lessons in Chemistry
· Half-Day Retreat
· Weekend Retreat
Epigenetics
There is a fairly recent remarkable study of rats, that provides a compelling answer to the question — Why meditate or why practice mindfulness?
In this study, rats were led to smell wintergreen and were then shocked, so that they were traumatized by the wintergreen smell.
A surprising finding was that their offspring were traumatized by the smell of wintergreen, without receiving a shock, and this was true of seven generations of rat pups; traumatized, even without receiving a negative stimulus.
It appears that trauma is passed on from mother to pups in rats, for seven generations. Though there is no proof, it seems likely that there is similar genetic pattern in humans. We each have in us genetic material from previous generations. It seems obvious: we don’t enter this life as a blank slate.
Of course, more difficult to measure, we each also contain the seeds and genes of love and compassion from our parents and from previous generations.
Why do we practice? To better understand and transform whatever we have arrived in this world with (including trauma). We meditate and practice to find our freedom, and to aspire to pass on less trauma to future generations. Not just with our children but with everyone we interact with.
Dogen
Zen teacher Dogen’s provocative question from the time he was young was: “If we are already fully awakened beings, why do we practice?”
This question motivated him to seek a teacher who could adequately engage with his questions.
One reason to meditate and to practice mindfulness is to engage with Dogen’s question. What did he mean: If we are already awakened, why do we practice?
One of Buddhism’s core teachings is that from one perspective, we are already awakened. There is no need for improvement. A paradoxical theory of change is that we grow by letting go of our usual beliefs that something in us is lacking.
One of Shunryu Suzuki’s often quoted messages is: “You are perfect just as you are, and you can use a little improvement.” The first part of this quote aligns with Dogen’s question, expressing that we are already free, already awake.
At the same time, Dogen must have observed and experienced a world filled with greed, hatred, and confusion. Though from one perspective we are awake, from another perspective we practice to work with our own and the world’s greed, hatred, and confusion.
Practices:
Explore practicing with Shunryu Suzuki’s statement: “You are perfect just as you are and you can use a little improvement.”
Try on the first portion of this statement; in what ways are you perfect?
What if there was nothing lacking in your mind, in your heart, in your life?
Explore how being “perfect just as you are” influences how you think about and how you experience improvement.
What I’m watching?
Lessons In Chemistry – A TV series about a brilliant chemist in the 1960s who faces sexism in her field. She unexpectedly becomes a TV cooking show host, using the platform to teach science and empower women. It also has themes of the tension and parallels of science and surprise.
One Day – A TV series that explores love, friendship, and the passage of time.
What I’m reading?
Lessons In Chemistry, by Bonnie Garmus – I’ve also begun reading the book. I’m enjoying exploring the series and the book, at the same time.
Half Day Sitting, In-Person and Online – Sunday October 13th
9:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. in Mill Valley.
I really like half day retreats, where there is time for some extended meditation periods, some walking, and time to process with a small community. Then, time to enjoy a Sunday afternoon.
Weekend Retreat In-person, Green Gulch Farm
November 1 – 3
Come spend the weekend at Green Gulch Farm, located on the coast, just north of San Francisco. Wake up hearing the sound of the ocean, enjoy the simple but amazing vegetarian food, and explore the garden, farm, and coastal trails.
In our world of busyness, of more, faster, better, this retreat offers time to stop, reflect, and renew – a time to step fully into the richness of your life. Together we’ll follow a gentle schedule of sitting and walking meditation, interspersed with talks and discussions from the wisdom of Zen teaching as we explore how these stories and dialogues may be utilized in our relationships, our work, and our lives
This retreat is open to all people interested in stopping, exploring, and bringing more awareness and mindfulness to daily life.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Why Meditate?: Some Answers From Epigenetics and Zen Teacher Dogen appeared first on Marc Lesser.
August 15, 2024
Appreciating Leonard Cohen
Insights Into Practices: Quotes From Leonard CohenFilms About Leonard CohenWhat I’m WatchingA Poem by Hafez, “I have a thousand brilliant lies…”Half Day Sitting, Oct. 13Weekend Retreat, Nov. 1 – 3
There is so much to appreciate about the wisdom in Leonard Cohen’s music, poetry, and writing. His career was launched in 1967 when his poem Suzanne was recorded by Judy Collins. He performed live in world tours when he was in his 70s, and his 14th album was released by his son shortly after his death in 2016. He died the day before Trump was elected. The following day Hallelujah was tearfully performed on Saturday Night Live by Kate McKinnon as Hillary Clinton:
“I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah”
I’ve always enjoyed and learned from quotes, and consider myself to be a professional quote collector; ever since I founded and ran Brush Dance, a greeting card and calendar company (for 15 years.)
Here are a few Leonard Cohen quotes with a bit of my commentary; ways to take his insights into practices.
“If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll be seasick every day.”
Practice: This reminds me of the Zen koan, when you are hot, be hot, when cold be cold. Notice your resistance to what is (especially things that you deem as unwelcome) and let it go, as much as possible. Step into your life fully, and “become the ocean.”
“I found that things became a lot easier when I no longer expected to win. You abandon your masterpiece and sink into the real masterpiece.”
Practice: Notice how often you measure yourself by winning and losing or by success or failure. I love his suggestion of letting go of expecting to win, letting go of an image or idea, and instead allowing your real creativity.
“The older I get, the surer I am that I’m not running the show.”
Practice: An important and powerful question, that is worth asking regularly: Who is running the show? A useful question, especially as we get older (and we are always getting older.)
“Everybody knows that the boat is leaking. Everybody knows the captain lied. Everybody got this broken feeling, like their father or their dog just died. Everybody talking to their pockets. Everybody wants a box of chocolates and a long-stem rose. Everybody knows.”
Practice: Sometimes it’s good to doubt, to be skeptical, and look directly at the shadow side of things.
′′Meditation is not what you think. You sit in absolute silence and your mind starts going over all your movies. During that process, you become so familiar with the scripts of these movies that you keep in your life, that you end up getting sick of them. Then you realize that the person you think you are is nothing but a complicated script you spend most of your energy on. … You are not actually all of your scripts. If you feel terrified enough about that personality, you spontaneously allow it to fade away. And then, if you’re fortunate, you can experience yourself genuinely, without the distortion of that fictional personality.”
Practice: This is an excellent description of meditation practice. Let yourself become sick of yourself. Let your usual stories fade away.
“I don’t consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.”
Practice: Let yourself feel the pains and suffering of your life and the world. Once “soaked to the skin” there is less to be afraid of, and more to appreciate.
“Do not be afraid to be weak. Do not be ashamed to be tired. You look good when you’re tired. You look like you could go on forever. Now come into my arms. You are the image of my beauty.”
Practice: It’s ok, and at times valuable, and important to be tired and to fall apart. We don’t need to always be keeping it together.
Films About Leonard Cohen
“Hallelujah: Leonard Cohen, A Journey, A Song” (2021) – This documentary focuses on the creation and impact of Cohen’s iconic song “Hallelujah.”
“Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man” (2005) – A documentary that centers around a tribute concert held in Sydney, where various artists performed Cohen’s songs.
“Bird on a Wire” (1974; Re-released 2010) – This documentary follows Leonard Cohen during his 1972 European tour.
“Leonard and Marianne: Words of Love” (2019) – This documentary explores the relationship between Leonard Cohen and Marianne, his muse for songs like “So Long, Marianne.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen… Mr. Leonard Cohen” (1965) – An early glimpse into Leonard Cohen’s life as a poet and novelist before he became a famous singer-songwriter.
What I’m Watching
All American – Based on a true story, a drama series that follows a rising high school football star from South Crenshaw, Los Angeles. When he’s recruited to play for Beverly Hills High, he navigates two very different worlds—his rough hometown and the affluent Beverly Hills—struggling to balance football, friendships, and family.
A Poem
I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:
How are you?
I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:
What is God?
If you think that the Truth can be known
From words,
If you think that the Sun and the Ocean
Can pass through that tiny opening Called the mouth,
O someone should start laughing!
Someone should start wildly Laughing –Now!
From “I Heard God Laughing: Renderings of Hafiz” translated by Daniel Ladinsky
Half Day Sitting, In-Person and Online – Sunday October 13th
9:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. in Mill Valley.
I really like half day retreats, where there is time for some extended meditation periods, some walking, and time to process with a small community. Then, time to enjoy a Sunday afternoon.
Weekend Retreat In-person, Green Gulch Farm
November 1 – 3
Come spend the weekend at Green Gulch Farm, located on the coast, just north of San Francisco. Wake up hearing the sound of the ocean, enjoy the simple but amazing vegetarian food, and explore the garden, farm, and coastal trails.
In our world of busyness, of more, faster, better, this retreat offers time to stop, reflect, and renew – a time to step fully into the richness of your life. Together we’ll follow a gentle schedule of sitting and walking meditation, interspersed with talks and discussions from the wisdom of Zen teaching as we explore how these stories and dialogues may be utilized in our relationships, our work, and our lives
This retreat is open to all people interested in stopping, exploring, and bringing more awareness and mindfulness to daily life.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Appreciating Leonard Cohen appeared first on Marc Lesser.
August 1, 2024
Awe In Everyday Life
“Awe is everywhere. It’s the world. It is about pausing and reflecting and looking at things anew.
The science tells us is it’s good for our minds and bodies. It reduces inflammation.
It’s good for your heart. Awe helps us handle conflicts.
It makes us feel less stressed, makes us feel like we have more time.
It makes you more aware of and friendly toward the natural world.”
These are a few statements from Dr. Dacher Keltner, faculty director of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center from my Zen Bones Podcast conversation with Dacher last summer, shortly after his book Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your life was published.
What is awe? Awe is an overwhelming feeling of reverence or admiration, produced by something grand, sublime, or powerful. This emotion is typically triggered by experiences that go beyond normal human understanding, such as witnessing natural wonders, experiencing profound beauty, or encountering extraordinary talent or achievements.
The key takeaway from our conversation was that it’s possible and effective to practice awe by shifting our attention and approach.
One simple practice is to go on an Awe Walk. Walk anywhere and imagine you are seeing things for the first time – trees, cars, clouds, other people. Imagine that you are a child, and explore how you experience the world through seeing, hearing, and smelling? This is an easy way to experience awe, whether you are in a city or in a beautiful rural area or walking through a garden. This simple activity can be powerful, surprising, and heart opening.
Or wherever you are or whatever you are doing, try on seeing everything as fresh and new. This approach can be applied to music or nature or seeing a person near you.
In addition to the many benefits of awe named above, there is a study that finds that brief experiences of awe lead people toward less polarization of their political opponents and reduces conflicts over issues such as abortion or gun rights. Awe can act like antidote to polarizing conflict, which is one of our real social problems today.
Practices:
Awe Walk – Try it. Simply go for a walk and see everything as though you are seeing things for the first time.
Awe practice – Explore being child-like. See, hear, smell, touch as though you are discovering for the first time.
Journal writing – Write, beginning with these prompts: What surprises me about my life right now is…. I feel awe when…
Zen Puzzler: Everyone wants to leave the endless changes
Here is a short poem by Zen teacher Dongshan, from 9th century China:
“Without saying it is or it isn’t, do you have the courage to be at peace with this?
Everyone wants to leave the endless changes,
but when you stop bending and fitting your life,
you come and sit by the fire.”
Dongshan is introducing the perspective of non-duality, that is accessible and useful in everyday life. Usually we tend to make everything into categories such as this or that, right or wrong, my way or your way, alive or dead. Dongshan suggests letting go of the usual sense of knowing and not knowing; letting go of “it is or it isn’t.” It takes courage to be at peace with the inherent paradoxes and contradictions of our world, as well as the mystery of change and impermanence.
It takes courage to not be caught by calling ourselves or others successes or failures, or to get caught by any of the usual dualities of what we should be doing or shouldn’t be doing.
Then the next line says, “Everyone wants to leave the endless changes.” Here he is saying that it is okay to recognize our own resistance to change and uncertainty. Who wants to lose everything and face death?
Then he goes on to say, “When you stop bending and fitting your life, you come and sit by the fire.” When we recognize our resistance to change, and embrace change, we can relax. We can come and sit by the fire.
To practice with this koan, explore asking yourself: What are the ways that you are bending and fitting yourself, instead of living with a sense of joy, acceptance, and freedom?. Do you have the courage to be at peace with change?
A Poem, by Wendell Berry
The Peace of Wild Things
When despair for the world grows in meand I wake in the night at the least soundin fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,I go and lie down where the wood drakerests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.I come into the peace of wild thingswho do not tax their lives with forethoughtof grief. I come into the presence of still water.And I feel above me the day-blind starswaiting with their light. For a timeI rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Warmest wishes,
Marc
The post Awe In Everyday Life appeared first on Marc Lesser.
