Emily Henderson's Blog, page 231

The Link Up: A Polaroid Printer Emily Swears By, Caitlin’s Investing Secret & A Zero Waste IG To Follow

photo by yoshihiro makino | design by studio shamshiri | via remodelista

If there is one thing we love more than Sunday brunch it’s the Sunday Link Up, and who says we can’t have both? Let’s get to it (mimosa in hand preferred):

Ever feel the need for a hug but like a modern, cool hug?? Well, that is the exact feeling you get when you step inside this home tour by one of our favorite design firms, Studio Shamshiri. Please enjoy and feel the embrace:)

From Emily: “I talked about this in Instagram stories but I am mentioning again in case you missed it. In the past I’ve tried to take good photos with a polaroid but for whatever reason they never turned out as good as they should. Enter this polaroid printer that takes digital photos from your phone and literally takes a photo of the screen (through an app) then prints it out. It’s not always perfect but it’s so fun and gets way closer to a good photo than taking it yourself with a camera. It’s an investment but we are going to keep it up at the mountain house and have a huge bulletin board somewhere that we can add to all year – yes I’m memory hoarding, per usual.”

Caitlin has an investing secret and it’s using Robinhood to buy and sell stocks for over 5 years. Guys, she LOVES it. Her investment strategy is basically just to buy stuff that she likes: Taco Bell, Nike, Tesla, Square, Beyond Meat…and it seems to be working, cause she’s up 130% overall. This link will get you a free stock if you want to try it out!

From Sara: “Recently I found Bloomist (a sustainable homegoods shop), and it feels like I’ve found a secrete treasure trove of super high-end styling accessories, with the plot twist being I can actually afford them. This wood chain is KILLER, and these little stone vases are the organic shelf styling accessories of my dreams. They’ve also got an awesome selection of faux and real dried botanics, all produced with sustainability in mind. I literally won’t shut-up about them in the office, so I’m excited to share a coupon code they created just for us. Use code EM15 for 15% off your order, or code EM25 to get $25 off your order of $100 or more. I, personally, will be using these discounts to order this match striker and candle.”

From Veronica: “Everyone in the office knows I love a good colored cat-eyeliner and these are the perfect ones!! I own six different colors and have so much fun matching them to what I’m wearing that day.”

From Ryann: “I love rewatching movies possibly even more than I love watching new movies. There is something so comforting about it and luckily there is a podcast out there that celebrates just that. It is called The Rewatchables and the host Bill Simmons and other guests discuss all the greatest movies that are extremely ‘rewatchable’. It is SO entertaining and will make you want to watch your fav movie 1000 times.”

In need of a great sofa but in greater need of an awesome sale?? Well, Apt2B is having a crazy warehouse sale that ends TOMORROW. Basically, everything in the outlet will be up to 65% off + you get free delivery. We told you it was crazy, but the really good kind:)

From Mallory: “I use this bluetooth speaker in my apartment but I also keep it in my purse because you never know when you’ll need to provide music for life’s awkward moments. It’s TINY, lasts for HOURS, is SO LOUD, and is ADORABLE AND RETRO. Hopefully, you can understand how good it is by the all-caps.”

From Jess: “Buying gifts for men (especially when it comes to dads…or at least my dad) is nearly impossible. BUT the other week was my dad’s birthday and I bought him this blue dress shirt (paired with a fancy event to attend at a later date). And ya’ll, he LOVED it. It’s pricey but great quality with a cool pattern inside the cuff and collar. Also, he’s a standard XL which is a size 6 and fits him perfectly.”

From Julie: “In an effort to reduce my plastic waste I began following the Instagram @bottegazerowaste. Marta Tarallo has a YouTube channel where she teaches things like how to make your own natural soap and she makes it all look so easy!”

Alright, that’s a wrap for today. Now we hope you have a lovely Sunday, and be sure to check back here tomorrow. See you then. xx

The post The Link Up: A Polaroid Printer Emily Swears By, Caitlin’s Investing Secret & A Zero Waste IG To Follow appeared first on Emily Henderson.

The Five Cooking Mistakes I’ve Been Making (As Told To Me By A Chef)

There has been a lot of concern surrounding my fingers, with you generally fearful that I’d lose one of my 10 sausage-like appendages in my pursuit of soup. I chop recklessly, and although I haven’t cut myself seriously yet (unless you saw Thursdays IGTV), it’s pretty terrifying (if not riveting) to watch. So I reached out to a friend, Tyler Wells, owner/chef at All Time (one of my FAVORITE restaurants in LA and likely my favorite in Los Feliz), and he offered to come over to tell me all the things I’m doing wrong. Nice guy. Turns out chopping isn’t my only problem. I’m prolific at soups, which doesn’t necessarily mean GOOD at them, I just cook them a lot. So when he offered to watch me and criticize/suggest the right way to do it, I gladly said yes.

Mistake #1: Dangerously Bad Knife Skills

I knew I wasn’t doing it right, mostly because literally everyone has told me “YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.” But I’m not here to tell you how to do it, there are literally one million cooking blogs and videos about it. However, Tyler did teach me some handy tricks that I think are super useful.

Here was me before – fingers outstretched, teasing the knife with their vulnerability and sausage-like mimicry.

Tyler taught me how to rest it next to my knuckles, tuck those fingers tips in, leave the tip of the knife on the cutting board, to use a rocking motion and MIND THOSE PINKIES. I guess it’s easy to remember to keep #2, #3, and #4 fingers safe, but those pinkies and thumbs can slip out.

Look at me now!

You can see the veins of stress in my hand and obviously I’m not relaxed. It’s a lot harder to be safe until you get used to it and takes concentration – appropriate I suppose for using a sharp object. Some day I will become one of those pretentiously fast show-off home chefs.

Mistake #2: Salting Too Early

I salt with the onions and garlic, but Tyler suggested (I know this is going to be controversial) that I wait ’til the carrots/celery are in there to salt.. and then to salt a lot. He said that you can over or under salt if you try to do it at every stage (because you don’t remember what you’ve done unless you are super on top of it), so he suggests waiting. He also suggests waiting to add garlic, because it can burn – but he also says garlic is over-rated… wut?

Mistake #3: Not waiting Til Pot Was Hot Before Oil, Nor Oil Was Hot Before Onions…

I just threw a pot on the burner, poured in the oil then poured in the onion. I don’t remember why this was important, but it was something about the pan needing to heat up and expand before oil got poured in for more evenness. And then something about the onion cooking in the oil right away, instead of just soaking up the oil until the oil was hot enough to start cooking it. I am a very good student.

He also stressed that this was NOT a big deal, but technically, yes it was a failing.

Mistake #4: Putting Dried Herbs In Too Late

Most of you know this, but for those who don’t, you put in dried herbs in your mirepoix (chopped veggie base), but your fresh herbs at the end. Dried herbs need to be rehydrated in order to release their flavor, versus fresh herbs which are gonna dial up the flavor factor in a lot less time and run the risk of overcooking.

Mistake #5: Cooking Chicken Breasts And Legs For The Same Amount Of Time

Nobody told me that darker meat takes longer to cook. Whoops. When I’m doing bone-in soup, I’ve typically put the whole chicken in at once. But it turns out that the white meat cooks faster, so your breasts should come out a bit sooner than those chicken legs to avoid drying out. There’s nothing worse than dry chicken in a wet soup.

Thank you so much, Tyler for the solicited criticism (and the time and expertise to help me actually make a good soup).

Now for the recipe of the soup we made that day, as it was DELICIOUS. It was basically just all the veggies that I had leftover, plus a bunch of fresh veggies from Imperfect Foods (who sponsored the IGTV).

“Everything But The Kitchen Sink” Chicken & Veggie Soup

Ingredients:

1 white onion, chopped
2 large carrots, chopped
1 bunch Celery, chopped
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 cup broccoli florets
1 yellow pepper, chopped
1 zucchini, chopped
8 cups handfuls leafy green of choice (basically a massive amount of greens)
1 tablespoon avocado oil (for sautéing)
6 cups broth of choice (I use chicken bone broth)
32oz. can of diced tomatoes
2 chicken breasts
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp dried Italian herb blend
Salt and pepper to taste

Allow pan to heat, then add avocado oil. Allow oil to heat, then sauteé onion, carrot, celery, garlic powder, red chili pepper, and dried herbs until onions are translucent and soft. Add garlic, salt, and pepper and sauteé and additional minute. Deglaze your pot with 1/2 cup of broth, making sure you’re using your spoon or rubber spatula to really get any crispy onion or garlic bits off the bottom of the pan. Add in the rest of your broth (4-6 cups), along with the 32 ounces can of diced tomatoes, and raw chicken breasts. Let cook for 15 minutes, on medium heat (to allow the chicken to cook). After 15 minutes use tongs to pull out your chicken breast and shred with a fork. Slide that chicken back in, followed by the broccoli, zucchini, and yellow peppers. Taste, add more salt or pepper if needed, and finish by adding two handfuls of the leafy green of your choice right before serving (kale takes longer than spinach to wilt).

At this point, you might be a soup convert and desperate for more soup recipes. DON’T PANIC, we’ve got you covered. Here are more of our favorite soup recipes.

Healthy (& Hearty) Beef & Vegetable Stew

Ok, so this first one isn’t a soup, but it is exactly what it claims to be – Healthy AND hearty. Lean beef swims around with tons of colorful veggies, all while being dairy-free, gluten-free, and grain-free.

Vegan Chickpea & Cauliflower Curry Soup

This vegan is still a much-loved favorite in the EHD office. It’s totally vegan, while still being rich, creamy, and filling.

Vegan Zuppa Toscana

You’ll have to scroll to the bottom of the post for the recipe, but it’s Sara’s riff on her favorite guilty pleasure – Olive Garden’s “Zuppa Toscana.” Theirs is filled with sausage and cream, ours is filled with coconut milk and veggies.

Homemade Bone Broth & Chicken Meatball Soup

When I first started making soups I was using boxed broth, which is totally fine. But then I started making my own broths and essentially became a professional chef. Mostly it’s just super enjoyable because I know exactly what’s going into the flavoring of my broth, and I can recycle my leftover veggie scraps from other soups in the making of it.

Fast & Simple Veggie-Packed Vegan Pho

Is this a traditional pho recipe? No, we take a few shortcuts and make a few swaps. But it’s still crazy delicious and satisfies that pho craving. Plus it’s full of bright veggies, with not an animal product in sight.

Ok, that’s it for soup related content for today. Anyone got any other common cooking mistakes they were making up until recently? I’m ready to continue my cooking education…

The post The Five Cooking Mistakes I’ve Been Making (As Told To Me By A Chef) appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Like Most Guys, I Didn’t Want To Go To Therapy. I Did, And It Saved My Marriage.

“Is it a book?” “It looks like a W.” “Are those robot boobs?”

These are the types of questions I get all the time about this tiny tattoo on my forearm. In the past, when I would get questions about this tattoo I would get a little cagey. Tattoos tend to be personal, but this one, in particular, is also kind of embarrassing. I mean, I got a “half-pipe” – not the skateboard kind, like a literal pipe split down the middle and laying open – permanently inked on myself because of therapy. It could be seen as the ultimate Hollywood douche move, what’s next? The Bulletproof Coffee logo on my lower back? But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

Today’s post isn’t about design, and there’s not a throw pillow insight. Instead, you’re stuck with me, Brian Henderson. And yea, today’s post is all about therapy. Or my experience with it at least. There are a lot of disclaimers I get to about this a little further down, but if mental health or therapy isn’t something you’re ready to read about this morning I promise the design content will resume next week. On the other hand, if you or someone you know has ever been curious about therapy (especially if that someone is a guy), then keep reading.

Back to my foreman… I got this open pipe tattoo as a reminder for myself. In hindsight, I wasn’t prepared to explain its personal meaning to the entire world when I first had it needle poked into my skin, which was an oversight on my part. It’s pretty abstract, so of course, it’s going to draw some questions. But the more I had to explain why I got it and what it meant to me, the more I noticed that people related to my story. The follow-up questions became less about me and more about the question-asker themselves. And it all made me understand that depression is much more universal than I had ever thought. Now, when I describe my tattoo, I’ve now got a pretty succinct explanation that doesn’t come off as pretentious or preachy (I’ll explain in a bit). More often than not, a question about my tattoo gets people talking about how they relate to it. Which is what I hope this post can do too.

First off, I’m aware that therapy or the general topic of mental health can be a triggering subject for a lot of people. I want to start by saying that this is not meant to be a prescription or cure-all suggestion. Nor is it meant to speak down to anyone or come off as “holier than thou.” It’s only an account of my personal experience with therapy in the hopes that it may spark some conversations out there for someone who needs it.

Second, I’m writing this purely from my perspective as a hetero, white male; and I’m sorry if that doesn’t feel as inclusive as it should, but it would be crazy for me to try and write about therapy from anyone but myself, from my perspective. And if I’m being honest, I think there’s a lack of dialogue about why straight white men don’t go to therapy, when we seem to be the group that is doing a majority of the damage out in the world. We aren’t addressing our emotions. Controversial, right? Fun? Hopefully. I’m wading into waters that I’m not an expert in, so take this all with a boulder of salt…

In my experience, not a lot of guys go to therapy. Even though a lot of us probably should. Why? Well, it’s been written about, talked about, studied… and it seems cliche at this point but I think it has a lot to do with the way we’re raised as boys. The same life lessons that can be wonderful about self-sufficiency and toughness (which I honestly do think are important in raising both boys and girls) are the same lessons that kind of crush us later in life. We’re trained from an early age that we should fix our own problems, be an island, and that showing emotion or asking for help is a weakness. Talking to your buddies shouldn’t go any deeper than conversation topics like whether Captain America would be a better quarterback or pitcher (for the record, I say quarterback). So we compartmentalize our feelings and keep them as something only to be dealt with alone, in a vacuum. We are the only ones that have the expertise to deal with our own feelings and emotions. The idea of talking to someone else, let alone a stranger about our feelings? Are you kidding? For guys like me, that seemed utterly insane. But I ended up in therapy, with a stupid tattoo on my arm. And it changed my life.

Now you may not know this, but I’m not actually living the life I should be right now. I should be the lead actor on a wildly successful sitcom, making millions of dollars, living a life of fame and fortune. At this moment, I should be making a witty zinger at a dinner party about how I can’t find space for all my acting awards, and how I’m thinking of melting them all down to make a giant statue of myself holding an award. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now. Or at least, that’s what I had been expecting for myself since I was 18 years old. I, like so many people out there, have been fantasizing about my ideal life since I was young. But, like 99% of the world, I did not come close to achieving that “ideal” life. When I realized that my “ideal” life wasn’t my exact trajectory, I did not have the tools to deal with the heartbreak. And all of that brought me very close to ruining my whole life. Here’s how it went down…

Emily and I moved to New York right after college, and I went to grad school for acting at NYU. It was an insane experience  – not only was it super exclusive (only 18 people are accepted a year), but it was super intense (all acting, all day, every day, for three years). I was already a pretty cocky guy, but getting into this program blew up both my ego and my expectations for myself. Oh, and it’s where I swung naked on a trapeze in circus class. You know, for art. At the end of my training, I was ready to conquer the world of acting, just like all the famous alumni before me. In fact, I was going to be bigger than them! I mean, do you think that Billy Crudup ever flopped his little billy around on a trapeze?! WELL, I DID. I was gonna land the best agent, get on Broadway, get my own TV show, and take over the world.

None of those things happened. Except for the Broadway thing, in a roundabout way. After doing a bunch of theater in New York, I got an understudy job on a Broadway show. And it just so happened that it was for one mister Johnny Galecki (Name Drop!), who had to take time off to go shoot the pilot for a new show called “The Big Bang Theory.” I got to go on for him and perform on a Broadway stage for a while, which was a dream come true. I still think about those magical nights. Getting to perform for 1,100 people who were wishing you were Johnny Galecki? Magical.

But back to my “failures” – One night I was confidently speeding past tourists in Times Square, to my IMPORTANT ACTING JOB, with my black wool peacoat’s collar pompously popped up (because even though the snow had started to melt into slush, it was still cold enough to look like a brooding artist). I impatiently rounded a large group in a crosswalk, threw a “Locals Only” smirk back at them, then tripped and fell into a huge puddle of brown slush that had gathered at the foot of the opposite sidewalk. My arms were up to the elbow in wet gutter-sludge and whatever had floated downstream from the Bubba Gump in Times Square. The whole group of tourists gasped. I popped up as quickly as I could, tried to make a funny quip, couldn’t, then probably made a sound like “Pshhh…” and ran off as fast as I could.

And that is a precursor to what I felt when I got hit by that heartbreak I spoke of earlier. I went from king of the world in my head, to prince of the potty in real life. And before the comments start, yes I know that my life isn’t, and wasn’t a potty. I’m a super lucky guy. And yes, I know that a privileged actor’s journey isn’t super relatable. BUT, I think that the feeling of “expectation vs reality” is, and that’s the broader issue that brought me to therapy. And that’s what I think needs to be talked about because “expectation vs reality” is driving a lot of men like me (and women) into depression and isolation, without the tools to talk about it or ask for help. Ok, that’s too bleak, back to the story.

Emily and I moved to LA right after we got married (that’s us the night I proposed, complete with Central Park carriage ride and NYC hotdog stand). I kinda forced the move, because it seemed like it was the only place to make actual money as an actor and it seemed silly not to at least roll the dice out here. It turned out that I had the wrong dice. Or maybe they don’t do dice in LA? I still don’t know, all I know is that being a theater actor in Hollywood is about as meaningful as being a race car driver at a chili cook-off. I couldn’t get a job out here to save my life, and I got crushed by years of auditioning and rejection. When those inflated expectations got popped, I began a journey to a very dark place. I mean, what a stupid career choice it is to be an actor. You voluntarily go on hundreds of job interviews to try to sell a product that is literally yourself, and get told “no” 99.9% of the time. And it’s not like other art forms like painting or writing that you can perform alone, you can’t act by yourself in your room. I mean you can, like when I do my one-man “Yoda in a Russian Bath” routine to make myself laugh while I’m getting dressed, but to be an actor you need to get cast in something. You’re at the mercy of other people, always, and it suuuuuuucks. It also sucked the life out of me.

It had been 7 years of “no’s” and I didn’t have another career or side job (because I was still gonna make it dammit!). Emily had won Design Star, shot two seasons of Secret From A Stylist, and her blog was blowing up. My confidence and success had taken the exact opposite trajectory of hers and I was in such a dark place and felt so stuck, that I started taking it out on her. I turned into a dick. I resented her success and would constantly diminish it, or deliberately neglect to acknowledge it, which would cause fights without resolutions. It got bad. We both knew I was deeply unhappy but didn’t know how to change it. She put up with mood swings and feeling shut out, as I got deeper and deeper into a depression.

It built up to one dark night when Emily basically told me that I’d changed so much from the happy man she married that I either had to make a change or we needed to rethink our future. That shook me. I was about to lose my wife, the best thing in my life, unless I did something to change. I didn’t know how to change, but I knew what was wrecking me. So, I quit acting.

I just stopped auditioning and took myself out of the whole thing cold turkey. That worked for a bit. I started doing real estate, which distracted me but I was still walking around in a fog of depression, which now was compounded by the thought that I would never get to do the thing I loved again. Then Emily got her first Target job, which brought a whole new flood of resentment. It wasn’t fair but it was still there, if only more hidden from her. And then she got pregnant. Which should have brightened everything, but in a weird way it made me even more depressed, for super selfish reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled that we were pregnant. I had wanted to be a dad for as long as I could remember. But the idea of starting that phase of my life without feeling “happy” or “fulfilled” made me crash again. I regressed to being difficult and had a cloud over me that was soon hanging over our whole house. Once again my wife (thank god for my wife), confronted me and said she didn’t want our baby to have this negative energy around it, and she said I needed to go see a therapist – which I had been putting off for years. I knew she was right, but I was so stubborn about my feelings and still had the sense that I knew how to fix myself. I had pushed the idea of therapy away anytime it came up. But now we were having a kid and I couldn’t bullshit my way through it anymore, no matter how much I tried.

My preconception about therapy was straight out of a bad movie, which is part of the reason I resisted it for so long. I also felt like I didn’t need to do a deep dive into childhood trauma or parental issues. Not to discount that type of therapy, I know that is unbelievably helpful for many, many people. It’s just not what I needed. Mine was a depression born out of not knowing how to move forward in a life that wasn’t what I had planned it to be. I needed tools to bring myself back to the happy person I used to be. And I’m very lucky that the referral I got from a friend was for a therapist who specializes in just that.

Lucy Cotter is a narrative therapist. I know that narrative therapy sounds like I was laying in a sleeping bag while she read children’s books to me, which isn’t too far fetched out here in Goop-y Hollywood. But no, narrative therapy is a proactive kind of therapy that teaches you that the way you see yourself in the world is just a “story” you’ve been telling yourself about yourself. For your whole life! And that as the “narrator” of your own life, you in fact have the freedom to change that story. I’m no expert, and it’s kinda hard to explain, but this is my take away from it – I think it’s all about giving people the tools to actually change their responses to difficulties so they can move past them rather than get stuck or derailed by them. And they do it by separating your difficulties from you if that makes sense. Like, the problem is only a thing that exists in the world, it’s not a part of you, and you’re telling yourself a story about that thing that makes you want to avoid it or fight it. In fact, there are many ways to approach that thing in a way that incorporates your own positive feelings. You just need to try to change the story of it. That’s not convoluted at all, right?

Let’s see. Ok, so, an example would be:

When I started seeing Lucy I was just beginning to shoot Emily’s videos, but I didn’t want to make videography my full-time job because I didn’t “love” it, and I felt emasculated by the idea of working for my wife. Let’s just pause here and acknowledge that I’m aware of what a gigantic privileged baby I was/am. I’m so fortunate to even have the options open to me that I do. But if I’m writing honestly, I didn’t want to do it because it represented a kind of “giving up” of my autonomy. So Lucy started to get me to understand that my feelings about being Emily’s videographer fit a long-ingrained narrative that I had been telling myself about any kind of work that wasn’t acting. She made me see that there were tons of different ways I could view it, if I just allowed myself to let go of the old narrative. She asked me what I loved about acting, specific things that I missed about being onstage. I answered that it made me feel artistic, free, that I felt ownership. Then she asked if there was a way for me to find those feelings by starting a video company. At first, I was like “Um, no.” But then we got into the actual daily tasks of making a video – framing up shots, directing Emily, running a set, editing it with music – and I realized that all of those feelings could be found in that. And that’s when it really clicked for me. I had been telling myself that working for Emily, doing something that wasn’t acting, would never be enough for me, for so long, that I didn’t realize I just needed to open up my aperture, as it were, and see it all from a wider lens. From that moment on, whenever I started feeling down about something I would pause and try to a way to reframe the story of it.

We would even create weekly checklists for me to work on, which was such an amazing surprise. I learned that I needed accountability and practicality. It was like she was half life-coach, and half therapist. I had actual, tangible things to work on at home. Which for a guy, I think is super helpful. Things that were as straight forward as “register the domain for your website,” to the theoretical “pause and consider your first response to an annoying situation.” The more we worked, the easier it became for me to engage in the world with a more open point of view, and have the ability to shift my feelings about things. It hit me on a deep, macro level, which was what got me out of my depression. Once I was able to tackle the stories of my individual problems, I saw that I could start to rethink the overall story of my life. Of what I think it means to be Brian in general. I started figuring out that my whole sense of “I’m the kind of person that…” was just a story that could be expanded. I describe it like tunnel vision (here comes my “half-pipe” tattoo explanation, in case that’s the only reason you were sticking around). I was looking at everything in life through a tube or a pipe, with only one little point of light to see through. I felt stuck in my depression because I didn’t realize that it was totally my choice to see through this little hole. But through narrative therapy, I was able to cut the pipe down the center, spread it out and realize that there was a whole horizon on either side of that little circular view. That there is a vast landscape of options to choose from. Sorry for all the metaphors, it’s cheesy I know, but it’s was a life-saving lesson for me. And that is why I got my tattoo. Because it’s easy for me to slip back into old reactions to things, and sometimes I need a little reminder.

It literally just happened two weeks ago. Our oldest kid had an extra week off for winter break (wtf LAUSD? Jan 13th?), but Emily and I both had to get back to work. Well, Emily had to get back to work because she runs an empire, and I was just looking forward to starting a new productive year. But we didn’t have any childcare during the day, so I was forced to watch him and try to work from home. And boy, oh boy did I put up a pouty puss performance. For the first few days, I grumbled little annoyances at breakfast and acted like I was doing hard labor at Rikers. But around the third day, I glanced down at my dumb little tattoo and realized I was acting like a baby. I changed the story. I wasn’t a put-upon victim, I was a lucky parent who got the rare gift of spending a ton of time with their kids while they’re still young. And that little shift of thought changed the rest of the week. I was a better dad and I’m sure a better husband. Besides, I had all year to be more productive, which is another great thing that Lucy taught me. Timelines are what we make them. You can always expand your timeline, and it can take a lot of pressure off of you. If you give yourself a longer timeline for some goals, it can make everything a little less high stress so you can live in the moment a bit more.

Remember that acting thing that I was obsessed with? Through my work with Lucy, I allowed myself to expand the timeline and change my story. It took me about two years of working on the other stuff, like the video business and healing my marriage, for me to feel like I was ready to reengage with acting. But this time, I felt secure about it. I had no desire to audition to be on TV or in film. I just wanted to get back to what I loved about acting in the first place, working on stage. And that meant I didn’t have to tie my self-worth to whether or not I booked a job. I had the important things squared away, and this was my way to create art on the side, to scratch an itch. I’m back to auditioning for and performing in stage productions when I can, and Emily and I have found ways for me to make it to rehearsals and performances. And thus far, it’s been really, really great.

I still get down sometimes, for sure. Depression isn’t like a bad movie that you just see once and swear off; it keeps getting rebooted!! With different casts, directors, and marketing campaigns. Sometimes I feel myself getting in line for a ticket, but then I look at my little tattoo and realize that I’m actually at a multiplex and I can go to a different movie. I’m lucky to have Emily and Lucy in my life, but it took me getting to such a bad place that I was forced to open up and talk to someone. I don’t think that a lot of men are as actively confronted as I was, or if they are, they sometimes aren’t ready for it. And I totally get that. I was there too. I hated the idea that I couldn’t fix myself. Asking for help seemed like defeat, or a character flaw. Like I wasn’t a real man. And I think that’s all too common among men who absolutely should be talking to someone, but are too hung up on their idea of therapy that they just shrug it off. Both young and old, from the stress of starting manhood to the fear of retirement. Expectation vs reality can be debilitating. But I had a wife who was brave enough to be honest about what she needed and supportive enough to let me know that it was going to be ok.

So if you are a dude (or anyone) feeling down, or lonely, or depressed, just know that a lot of people feel that way. You’re not alone, you’re not strange, you’re not a wuss. I know the pressure you put on yourself to “tough it out.” But there are other ways of thinking that will take the weight off your shoulders. And for the record, I think it’s pretty damn cool to talk about your emotions. So, let’s start doing that more.

Sorry this post wasn’t as funny as I thought it was going to be. I promise I won’t get this deep if I keep writing for the blog, but I know that this is a problem for a lot of people and I wanted to get my experience out there just in case it could get start a conversation. Even if it’s just about whether Captain America would be a better quarterback or pitcher.

 

Oh, and if you’re in the Los Angeles area and would like more info, here’s Lucy’s website: http://narrativecounselingcenter.com/...

The post Like Most Guys, I Didn’t Want To Go To Therapy. I Did, And It Saved My Marriage. appeared first on Emily Henderson.

How Narrative Therapy Helped Me To Reframe The “Story” Of My Life And Understand My Depression

“Is it a book?” “It looks like a W.” “Are those robot boobs?”

These are the types of questions I get all the time about this tiny tattoo on my forearm. In the past, when I would get questions about this tattoo I would get a little cagey. Tattoos tend to be personal, but this one, in particular, is also kind of embarrassing. I mean, I got a “half-pipe” – not the skateboard kind, like a literal pipe split down the middle and laying open – permanently inked on myself because of therapy. But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

Today’s post isn’t about design, and there’s not a throw pillow insight. Instead, you’re stuck with me, Brian Henderson. And yea, today’s post is all about therapy. Or my experience with it at least. There are a lot of disclaimers I get to about this a little further down, but if mental health or therapy isn’t something you’re ready to read about this morning I promise the design content will resume next week. On the other hand, if you or someone you know has ever been curious about therapy (especially if that someone is a guy), then keep reading.

Back to my foreman… I got this open pipe tattoo as a reminder for myself. In hindsight, I wasn’t prepared to explain its personal meaning to the entire world when I first had it needle poked into my skin, which was an oversight on my part. It’s pretty abstract, so of course, it’s going to draw some questions. But the more I had to explain why I got it and what it meant to me, the more I noticed that people related to my story. The follow-up questions became less about me and more about the question-asker themselves. And it all made me understand was that depression is much more universal than I had ever thought. Now, when I describe my tattoo, I’ve now got a pretty succinct explanation that doesn’t come off as pretentious or preachy (I’ll explain in a bit). More often than not, a question about my tattoo gets people talking about how they relate to it. Which is what I hope this post can do too.

First off, I’m aware that therapy or the general topic of mental health can be a triggering subject for a lot of people. I want to start by saying that this is not meant to be a prescription or cure-all suggestion. Nor is it meant to speak down to anyone or come off as “holier than thou.” It’s only an account of my personal experience with therapy in the hopes that it may spark some conversations out there for someone who needs it.

Second, I’m writing this purely from my perspective as a hetero, white male; and I’m sorry if that doesn’t feel as inclusive as it should, but it would be crazy for me to try and write about therapy from anyone but myself, from my perspective. And if I’m being honest, I think there’s a lack of dialogue about why straight white men don’t go to therapy, when we seem to be the group that is doing a majority of the damage out in the world. We aren’t addressing our emotions. Controversial, right? Fun? Hopefully. I’m wading into waters that I’m not an expert in, so take this all with a boulder of salt…

In my experience, not a lot of guys go to therapy. Even though a lot of us probably should. Why? Well, it’s been written about, talked about, studied… and it seems cliche at this point but I think it has a lot to do with the way we’re raised as boys. The same life lessons that can be wonderful about self-sufficiency and toughness (which I honestly do think are important in raising both boys and girls) are the same lessons that kind of crush us later in life. We’re trained from an early age that we should fix our own problems, be an island, and that showing emotion or asking for help is a weakness. Talking to your buddies shouldn’t go any deeper than conversation topics like whether Captain America would be a better quarterback or pitcher (for the record, I say quarterback). So we compartmentalize our feelings and keep them as something only to be dealt with alone, in a vacuum. We are the only ones that have the expertise to deal with our own feelings and emotions. The idea of talking to someone else, let alone a stranger about our feelings? Are you kidding? For guys like me, that seemed utterly insane. But I ended up in therapy, with a stupid tattoo on my arm. And it changed my life.

Now you may not know this, but I’m not actually living the life I should be right now. I should be the lead actor on a wildly successful sitcom, making millions of dollars, living a life of fame and fortune. At this moment, I should be making a witty zinger at a dinner party about how I can’t find space for all my acting awards, and how I’m thinking of melting them all down to make a giant statue of myself holding an award. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing right now. Or at least, that’s what I had been expecting for myself since I was 18 years old. I, like so many people out there, have been fantasizing about my ideal life since I was young. But, like 99% of the world, I did not come close to achieving that “ideal” life. When I realized that my “ideal” life wasn’t my exact trajectory, I did not have the tools to deal with the heartbreak. And all of that brought me very close to ruining my whole life. Here’s how it went down…

Emily and I moved to New York right after college, and I went to grad school for acting at NYU. It was an insane experience  – not only was it super exclusive (only 18 people are accepted a year), but it was super intense (all acting, all day, every day, for three years). I was already a pretty cocky guy, but getting into this program blew up both my ego and my expectations for myself. Oh, and it’s where I swung naked on a trapeze in circus class. You know, for art. At the end of my training, I was ready to conquer the world of acting, just like all the famous alumni before me. In fact, I was going to be bigger than them! I mean, do you think that Billy Crudup ever flopped his little billy around on a trapeze?! WELL, I DID. I was gonna land the best agent, get on Broadway, get my own TV show, and take over the world.

None of those things happened. Except for the Broadway thing, in a roundabout way. After doing a bunch of theater in New York, I got an understudy job on a Broadway show. And it just so happened that it was for one mister Johnny Galecki (Name Drop!), who had to take time off to go shoot the pilot for a new show called “The Big Bang Theory.” I got to go on for him and perform on a Broadway stage for a while, which was a dream come true. I still think about those magical nights. Getting to perform for 1,100 people who were wishing you were Johnny Galecki. There’s nothing like it.

But back to my “failures” – One night I was confidently speeding past tourists in Times Square, to my IMPORTANT ACTING JOB, with my black wool peacoat’s collar pompously popped up (because even though the snow had started to melt into slush, it was still cold enough to look like a brooding artist). I impatiently rounded a large group in a crosswalk, threw a “Locals Only” smirk back at them, then tripped and fell into a huge puddle of brown slush that had gathered at the foot of the opposite sidewalk. My arms were up to the elbow in wet gutter-sludge and whatever had floated downstream from the Bubba Gump in Times Square. The whole group of tourists gasped. I popped up as quickly as I could, tried to make a funny quip, couldn’t, then probably made a sound like “Pshhh…” and ran off as fast as I could.

And that is a precursor to what I felt when I got hit by that heartbreak I spoke of earlier. I went from king of the world in my head, to prince of the potty in real life. And before the comments start, yes I know that my life isn’t, and wasn’t a potty. I’m a super lucky guy. And yes, I know that a privileged actor’s journey isn’t super relatable. BUT, I think that the feeling of “expectation vs reality” is, and that’s the broader issue that brought me to therapy. And that’s what I think needs to be talked about because “expectation vs reality” is driving a lot of men like me (and women) into depression and isolation, without the tools to talk about it or ask for help. Ok, that’s too bleak, back to the story.

Emily and I moved to LA right after we got married (that’s us the night I proposed, complete with Central Park carriage ride and NYC hotdog stand). I kinda forced the move, because it seemed like it was the only place to make actual money as an actor and it seemed silly not to at least roll the dice out here. It turned out that I had the wrong dice. Or maybe they don’t do dice in LA? I still don’t know, all I know is that being a theater actor in Hollywood is about as meaningful as being a race car driver at a chili cook-off. I couldn’t get a job out here to save my life, and I got crushed by years of auditioning and rejection. When those inflated expectations got popped, I began a journey to a very dark place. I mean, what a stupid career choice it is to be an actor. You voluntarily go on hundreds of job interviews to try to sell a product that is literally yourself, and get told “no” 99.9% of the time. And it’s not like other art forms, like painting or writing, that you can perform alone, you can’t act by yourself in your room. I mean you can, like when I do my one-man “Yoda in a Russian Bath” routine to make myself laugh while I’m getting dressed but to be an actor you need to get cast in something. You’re at the mercy of other people, always, and it suuuuuuucks. It also sucked the life out of me.

It had been 7 years of “no’s” and I didn’t have another career or side job (because I was still gonna make it dammit!). Emily had won Design Star, shot two seasons of Secret From A Stylist, and her blog was blowing up. My confidence and success had taken the exact opposite trajectory of hers and I was in such a dark place and felt so stuck, that I started taking it out on her. I turned into a dick. I resented her success and would constantly diminish it, or deliberately neglect to acknowledge it, which would cause fights without resolutions. It got bad. We both knew I was deeply unhappy but didn’t know how to change it. She put up with mood swings and feeling shut out, as I got deeper and deeper into a depression.

It built up to one dark night when Emily basically told me that I’d changed so much from the happy man she married that I either had to make a change or we needed to rethink our future. That shook me. I was about to lose my wife, the best thing in my life, unless I did something to change. I didn’t know how to change, but I knew what was wrecking me. So, I quit acting.

I just stopped auditioning and took myself out of the whole thing cold turkey. That worked for a bit. I started doing real estate, which distracted me but I was still walking around in a fog of depression, which now was compounded by the thought that I would never get to do the thing I loved again. Then Emily got her first Target job, which brought a whole new flood of resentment. It wasn’t fair but it was still there, if only more hidden from her. And then she got pregnant. Which should have brightened everything, but in a weird way it made me even more depressed, for super selfish reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled that we were pregnant. I had wanted to be a dad for as long as I could remember. But the idea of starting that phase of my life without feeling “happy” or “fulfilled” made me crash again. I regressed to being difficult and had a cloud over me that was soon hanging over our whole house. Once again my wife (thank god for my wife), confronted me and said she didn’t want our baby to have this negative energy around it, and she said I needed to go see a therapist – which I had been putting off for years. I knew she was right, but I was so stubborn about my feelings and still had the sense that I knew how to fix myself. I had pushed the idea of therapy away anytime it came up. But now we were having a kid and I couldn’t bullshit my way through it anymore, no matter how much I tried.

My preconception about therapy was straight out of a bad movie, which is part of the reason I resisted it for so long. I also felt like I didn’t need to do a deep dive into childhood trauma or parental issues. Not to discount that type of therapy, I know that is unbelievably helpful for many, many people. It’s just not what I needed. Mine was a depression born out of not knowing how to move forward in a life that wasn’t what I had planned it to be. I needed tools to bring myself back to the happy person I used to be. And I’m very lucky that the referral I got from a friend was for a therapist who specializes in just that.

Lucy Cotter is a narrative therapist. I know that narrative therapy sounds like I was laying in a sleeping bag while she read children’s books to me, which isn’t too far fetched out here in Goop-y Hollywood. But no, narrative therapy is a proactive kind of therapy that teaches you that the way you see yourself in the world is just a “story” you’ve been telling yourself about yourself. For your whole life! And that as the “narrator” of your own life, you in fact have the freedom to change that story. I’m no expert, and it’s kinda hard to explain, but this is my take away from it – I think it’s all about giving people the tools to actually change their responses to difficulties so they can move past them rather than get stuck or derailed by them. And they do it by separating your difficulties from you if that makes sense. Like, the problem is only a thing that exists in the world, it’s not a part of you, and you’re telling yourself a story about that thing that makes you want to avoid it or fight it. In fact, there are many ways to approach that thing in a way that incorporates your own positive feelings. You just need to try to change the story of it. That’s not convoluted at all, right?

Let’s see. Ok, so, an example would be:

When I started seeing Lucy I was just beginning to shoot Emily’s videos, but I didn’t want to make videography my full-time job because I didn’t “love” it, and I felt emasculated by the idea of working for my wife. Let’s just pause here and acknowledge that I’m aware of what a gigantic privileged baby I was/am. I’m so fortunate to even have the options open to me that I do. But if I’m writing honestly, I didn’t want to do it because it represented a kind of “giving up” of my autonomy. So Lucy started to get me to understand that my feelings about being Emily’s videographer fit a long-ingrained narrative that I had been telling myself about any kind of work that wasn’t acting. She made me see that there were tons of different ways I could view it, if I just allowed myself to let go of the old narrative. She asked me what I loved about acting, specific things that I missed about being onstage. I answered that it made me feel artistic, free, that I felt ownership. Then she asked if there was a way for me to find those feelings by starting a video company. At first, I was like “Um, no.” But then we got into the actual daily tasks of making a video – framing up shots, directing Emily, running a set, editing it with music – and I realized that all of those feelings could be found in that. And that’s when it really clicked for me. I had been telling myself that working for Emily, doing something that wasn’t acting, would never be enough for me, for so long, that I didn’t realize I just needed to open up my aperture, as it were, and see it all from a wider lens. From that moment on, whenever I started feeling down about something I would pause and try to a way to reframe the story of it.

We would even create weekly checklists for me to work on, which was such an amazing surprise. I learned that I needed accountability and practicality. It was like she was half life-coach, and half therapist. I had actual, tangible things to work on at home. Which for a guy, I think is super helpful. Things that were as straight forward as “register the domain for your website,” to the theoretical “pause and consider your first response to an annoying situation.” The more we worked, the easier it became for me to engage in the world with a more open point of view, and have the ability to shift my feelings about things. It hit me on a deep, macro level, which was what got me out of my depression. Once I was able to tackle the stories of my individual problems, I saw that I could start to rethink the overall story of my life. Of what I think it means to be Brian in general. I started figuring out that my whole sense of “I’m the kind of person that…” was just a story that could be expanded. I describe it like tunnel vision (here comes my “half-pipe” tattoo explanation, in case that’s the only reason you were sticking around). I was looking at everything in life through a tube or a pipe, with only one little point of light to see through. I felt stuck in my depression because I didn’t realize that it was totally my choice to see through this little hole. But through narrative therapy, I was able to cut the pipe down the center, spread it out and realize that there was a whole horizon on either side of that little circular view. That there is a vast landscape of options to choose from. Sorry for all the metaphors, it’s cheesy I know, but it’s was a life-saving lesson for me. And that is why I got my tattoo. Because it’s easy for me to slip back into old reactions to things, and sometimes I need a little reminder.

It literally just happened two weeks ago. Our oldest kid had an extra week off for winter break (wtf LAUSD? Jan 13th?), but Emily and I both had to get back to work. Well, Emily had to get back to work because she runs an empire, and I was just looking forward to starting a new productive year. But we didn’t have any childcare during the day, so I was forced to watch him and try to work from home. And boy, oh boy did I put up a pouty puss performance. For the first few days, I grumbled little annoyances at breakfast and acted like I was doing hard labor at Rikers. But around the third day, I glanced down at my dumb little tattoo and realized I was acting like a baby. I changed the story. I wasn’t a put-upon victim, I was a lucky parent who got the rare gift of spending a ton of time with their kids while they’re still young. And that little shift of thought changed the rest of the week. I was a better dad and I’m sure a better husband. Besides, I had all year to be more productive, which is another great thing that Lucy taught me. Timelines are what we make them. You can always expand your timeline, and it can take a lot of pressure off of you. If you give yourself a longer timeline for some goals, it can make everything a little less high stress so you can live in the moment a bit more.

Remember that acting thing that I was obsessed with? Through my work with Lucy, I allowed myself to expand the timeline and change my story. It took me about two years of working on the other stuff, like the video business and healing my marriage, for me to feel like I was ready to reengage with acting. But this time, I felt secure about it. I had no desire to audition to be on TV or in film. I just wanted to get back to what I loved about acting in the first place, working on stage. And that meant I didn’t have to tie my self-worth to whether or not I booked a job. I had the important things squared away, and this was my way to create art on the side, to scratch an itch. I’m back to auditioning for and performing in stage productions when I can, and Emily and I have found ways for me to make it to rehearsals and performances. And thus far, it’s been really, really great.

I still get down sometimes, for sure. Depression isn’t like a bad movie that you just see once and swear off; it keeps getting rebooted!! With different casts, directors, and marketing campaigns. Sometimes I feel myself getting in line for a ticket, but then I look at my little tattoo and realize that I’m actually at a multiplex and I can go to a different movie. I’m lucky to have Emily and Lucy in my life, but it took me getting to such a bad place that I was forced to open up and talk to someone. I don’t think that a lot of men are as actively confronted as I was, or if they are, they sometimes aren’t ready for it. And I totally get that. I was there too. I hated the idea that I couldn’t fix myself. Asking for help seemed like defeat, or a character flaw. Like I wasn’t a real man. And I think that’s all too common among men who absolutely should be talking to someone, but are too hung up on their idea of therapy that they just shrug it off. Both young and old, from the stress of starting manhood to the fear of retirement. Expectation vs reality can be debilitating. But I had a wife who was brave enough to be honest about what she needed and supportive enough to let me know that it was going to be ok.

So if you are a dude (or anyone) feeling down, or lonely, or depressed, just know that a lot of people feel that way. You’re not alone, you’re not strange, you’re not a wuss. I know the pressure you put on yourself to “tough it out.” But there are other ways of thinking that will take the weight off your shoulders. And for the record, I think it’s pretty damn cool to talk about your emotions. So, let’s start doing that more.

Sorry this post wasn’t as funny as I thought it was going to be. I promise I won’t get this deep if I keep writing for the blog, but I know that this is a problem for a lot of people and I wanted to get my experience out there just in case it could get start a conversation. Even if it’s just about whether Captain America would be a better quarterback or pitcher.

The post How Narrative Therapy Helped Me To Reframe The “Story” Of My Life And Understand My Depression appeared first on Emily Henderson.

The New Classics: The Timeless Pieces That Will Always Be A Great Buy

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: the portland dining room reveal + how to create a room that is interesting yet sophisticated

Buying anything for your home can be well, nerve-wracking. I mean will it look good? How long will it hold up for? Will it go out of style just like “someone’s” once beloved zebra print rug from middle school? These are all great questions, but we here at EHD want to instill “buyer’s confidence” and say, “see ya” to any potential feelings of remorse. How EHD? HOW?

Now, we’ve designed a lot of rooms in our day and have noticed some consistent trends. Well, actually some anti-trends. What I mean by that is there are pieces that Emily and our design team (and honestly the whole of the design world) keep coming back to. Why? It’s because they are special but simple and modern yet classic. Not a trend at all, really. Just really good design. So we are calling it. Let me introduce The New Classics. Pieces that you can buy with total confidence because these puppies are TIME. LESS. Consider them inducted into the “Style Hall Of Fame.” You have our word.

The Round Throw Pillow
photo by tessa neustadt | from: a baby girl’s blush and green nursery

Let’s start simple, eh? No one is saying there is anything wrong with squares and rectangles, but Emily fell fast and hard for the simple round pillow when she was designing Birdie’s first nursery. It added the perfect amount of quiet visual interest that a stylist like her dreams of. And that was only the beginning of this budding love affair.

Why Is This A Safe Bet?
photo by tessa neustadt | from: how we styled our living room and kitchen to sell

A circle is one of those shapes that very few people take issue with in home decor (sorry triangles). It feels fun, but sophisticated and is literally the shape of the earth, sun, and moon so it’s not going to lose its popularity anytime soon. And I am telling you that if your bed, sofa, or large chair is in need a little “life” then get a circle-shaped pillow. If you are wanting to guarantee its style longevity and versatility then opt for a solid, more neutral color or simple patterned pillow. Here are some of our favorites on the market now:

1. Round Hand Crochet Pillow | 2. Monte Pom Pom | 3. Anchal Crescent Pillow | 4. Cotton Canvas Round Pillow | 5. Blue Round Pillow | 6. Velvet + Wool Circle Pillow | 7. Monte Cushion | 8. Lush Velvet Pillow | 9. Cowhide | 10.  White & Yellow Pillow | 11. Grey & White Monte Cushion | 12. Vegan Faux Leather | 13. Fringe Throw Pillow | 14. Block Color Pillow | 15. Shelly Round Velvet Pillow

Emily and the design team have used #1 and #4 and they are great. I know that #9 is a bit crazy but in the right home, I think it could be so awesome.

More rooms with this little superstar: Our Master Bedroom – Finally! | Makeover Takeover: Jess’ Living Room | 14 Rules For How We Style The Perfect Bedroom (+ 3 New Reveals) | Target’s New Threshold Collection is Hitting the “Elevated Praiare” Trend Hard and Good | Reveal: A Budget and Rental-Friendly Living- and Dining Room

The Live Edge Table
photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: a modern and organic living room makeover

I truly don’t think there is one person that has seen Emily’s live edge coffee table (the one above – at the time borrowed by her best friend, Corbett) that hasn’t at some point deeply coveted it. We still get emails asking where she got it or if they can buy it off of her. Anthropologie PLEASE BRING IT BACK. But it is this exact reason that (modern) live edge tables, in general, are here to stay… They are stunning.

Why Is This A Safe Bet?
photo by zeke ruelas | from: moody mid century home office

Beautiful wood will never go out of style. It just won’t. And when you add just the right amount of an organic shape, it is magical. Plus a live edge table is an easy way to add a little visual movement in your space. The last thing (in our opinion) you want is a room with all hard lines.

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: how target’s fall threshold collection nails the “updated classic” trend

The trick is to make sure they don’t look “too alive.” Like, a light to minimal sheen in terms of finishing and zero visible sap. Otherwise you’ll end up with the kind of table that is only ever “kind of” appropriate for the most mountain-y, log cabin home or restaurant. We have picked our top nine, perfectly sheened picks for you to feast your eyes on and potentially buy (only if you want to):

1. Buckland Coffee Table | 2. Organic Coffee Table | 3. Chilton Table | 4. Avery Wishbone Dining Table | 5. Buckland Accent Table | 6. Sansur Coffee Table | 7. Allard End Table | 8. Wood Slice Coffee Table | 9. Harbor Coffee Table

We have used #1 in a ton of rooms and can vouch for its awesomeness. Aside from that, we are a bit partial to  #4 and #8

Two People, One Tiny Closet – A Small Space Storage Agony with 5 Problems & 5 Clever Solutions

It is chaotic evil that two wardrobe/fashion-loving people have such alarmingly limited closet space. Of course, like most things in life it is not the end of the world nor is it a deal breaker, but it is difficult to manage. To top it off, I am a disorganized person by nature and am quite positive this won’t change over night (but if you have any tips or magic spells, let me know). But regardless of lack of natural ability, even the most disorganized among us love to bear witness to a closet with every article of clothing neatly sorted and tucked into its place. Closet organization is unbelievably satisfying and we all crave it.

Unfortunately, my lack of organizational instinct goes hand in hand with my design agony. Here’s the scoop: My boyfriend Rocky and I moved into a new place last August and we were smitten. Now some 5 months later, we still love our tiny little home as much as we did when we first saw it, besides one design flaw: there is only a single (5’x3’x8′) closet in the entire place. To be fair, the place itself is small (800 sqft) so there really isn’t room for another closet, but boy are we feeling spatially challenged. I probably don’t have to tell you it causes unnecessary tension but most importantly it causes clutter and mess by an already cluttered and messy girl. Guys, the fun is just getting started. 

You may be wondering who the heck I am, and who this Rocky fella is and I hear ya. Let’s get properly aquatinted. Here’s us:

Now, before we continue (and now that you can put faces to your design agony victims), it’s only right to give you a peek into our closet (did we just become best friends???). Feast your eyes on the “before” and please forgive me for not having a satisfying “after” to show you… yet: 

It’s your standard (STUFFED) single door closet, so there are things in there that we haven’t seen in months. Part of the problem should be alleviated once a larger dresser is purchased because hanging clothes up is unfathomable to me after a long day (again, disorganized person here), but I think we require a little more help than that. So now that you’ve seen the beast let me explain our biggest problems and pose some professional EHD approved solutions.

Problem #1: Ineffective use of space – aka WASTED SPACE

There are no built-in shelves or hooks, and the top shelf is super high up so it’s hard to stack clothes up there without them falling. Plus, it’s incredibly hard to reach anything when clothes are exploding out. Aside from hanging our clothes (and the fact is we simply don’t have the space hang everything) this closet has no intuitive or easy storage options.

The Solution: Invest in products that will maximize space.

1. MALM 3-Drawer Dresser | 2. SKUBB Shoe Box | 3. Two Shelf Horizontal Cube | 4. 8 Bin Shoe Organizer | 5. Over the Door 26 Shelf Shoe Organizer | 6. 10-Compartment Hanging Shoe Organizer | 7. Drop Front Box | 8. 10 Pack Hooks | 9. 5 Tiered Pants Hanger

We want to add in a small dresser like #1 to store socks, underwear, swimwear, and possibly other foldable clothes (like t-shirts). You may have noticed a lot of these are shoe storage options but I think they can be used for other purposes too. Like #2 can easily store clothes or shoes, and same with #4.

We are not done. Not even close, my friends. Now I am going to invite you to my very unfinished home. Here goes nothing.

By the way. showing thousands of people a photo of my unfinished bedroom feels like I am baring my nude self for the world to see. There is something so intimate about it so know that if you feel uncomfortable looking it at, I feel 10000x more uncomfortable thinking about you looking at it. But here we are! Now onto our next problem…

Problem #2: Bulky clothes hogging all the space

I’m talking to you, sweatshirts and sweaters. Have you noticed how men tend to own a lot of sweatshirts? It’s because they are lucky and can wear sweatshirts and look very cute in them all the time. The thing is, I too, have a fair amount of sweatshirts and sweats (a lot of them from sports I played in high school) and these things are BULKY and hard to store. And before you ask, yes we do donate clothes but we also know that donated clothes often end up in landfills. So we’ve decided to stop donating so much and instead sell them or gift them directly to people we know. We are also trying to simply buy less

Stylist Hack: 7 Unexpected Places I Like To Hang Art (To Make Your House Look Unique)

photo by bethany nauert | from: fdr chic – a dude’s mix of antique, mid-century and bohemian style

If I had to rattle off a few of my favorite styling “moves” they’d be this: The open book on the coffee table (sculptural, yet horizontal),  a footed bowl of pistachios (obviously), or maybe the casual throw breaking the line of the sofa base… but most of those are for photoshoots and don’t apply to life. But recently I was combing through the years of work (per my obsession with self-reflection), and I realized one thing I’ve always done that I do really think is worth pointing out – Stylists (including myself) put art in unexpected/weird places. It’s so easy, and it edges up a space instantly because there is something very irreverent about breaking the rules with your art placement. I’ve done it all over the houses I’ve styled and designed. And today I’m gonna show you how.

IN FRONT OF SHELVING
photo by bethany nauert | from: fdr chic – a dude’s mix of antique, mid-century and bohemian style

What I like about this, in particular, is the round shape breaking up the horizontal lines. It adds dimension, in a rebellious way. As I struggle with my own built-ins (which aren’t as cool, as they are so shallow) I recently threw up a painting on my shelving (for Christmas) and BOOM, I loved it.

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: our living room, dressed up for the holidays (with a ‘and how I feel about it’ running commentary)

There is just a “please don’t tell me where I’m supposed to be. I’m cool hanging right here, thank you!” thing about it.

IN THE BACK OF CABINETRY AND OPEN SHELVES
photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: all the what’s, why’s, and how much’s of the portland kitchen

It can be little, and you can hang or lean, but what a nice secret surprise it is to open a cabinet and see a piece of art. This is best done in a glass cabinet so you don’t literally hide it, but you get it – a secret piece that just feels cool and unexpected.

photo by david tsay | from: my best friend’s home

But there is more good news. There is another great place for “kitchen art” to be displayed and it’s not just behind a cabinet door.

photo by tessa neustadt | from: spanish california home: kitchen

Nay, this art can also live on open shelving behind plates and bowls.

photo by tessa neustadt | from: spanish california home: kitchen

Now while this may seem obvious, people just don’t typically consider art for the kitchen and I think it’s a missed opportunity. Please try it, because it’s awesome and fun.

ON KITCHEN COUNTERTOPS
photo by tessa neustadt | from: emily’s kitchen and dining room reveal

It’s true that I have too much art and not a lot of wall space. It’s also true that I have a lot of small art that is easy to pick up at the flea market, but hard to style on walls unless you are doing a big ‘ole gallery wall. So where do you put this art? In the kitchen and bathrooms of course

The Link Up: The Book You Need to Preorder Now, The Jumpsuit Veronica is Living In, & Sara’s Life-Changing Shower Accessory

image via cup of jo | design by julia leach

Happy Sunday folks. Welcome back to our weekly series where we chat about what’s on our brains and in our carts. We are talking home tours, products, music and so much more. Let’s get to it:

Today’s home tour (via Cup of Jo) is, as the title suggests, a book lover’s actual dream. We’d love to spend days browsing those shelves, not to mention that gallery wall is a serious 10/10.

Emily’s very good friend Jen Gotch’s incredible new book, The Upside of Being Down: How Mental Health Struggles Led to My Greatest Successes in Work and Life is available for preorder and we all CANNOT WAIT to read it. If you love super honest and funny writing that will likely help your mental health go preorder now!

When you live with two roommates kitchen storage can be limited. Julie currently has one cupboard which she shoves all of her cookware into so needless to say, she is lacking motivation to regularly make dinner when she has to take almost everything out to find one pan. So, as a way to consolidate and get her to keep up with those New Year’s Resolutions (ie. cooking one new recipe every month) she has been eyeing the Always Pan from Our Place. And it’s beautiful too boot!

From Mallory: “I love hoop earrings because you can pop ’em in your earlobe and then forget about them. These are awesome since they’re not too big.”

If you’re looking for a bright and electric makeover, look no further than designer, Megan Hopp’s new living room. We love a bold wallpaper moment and her’s does not disappoint. Fun fact: Jess and Megan went to college together!

Ryann has been in the market for a new bed frame for about three years now and can’t stop browsing Chairish’s vast bed frame selection. She found this bed the other day and can’t stop thinking about it, so SOMEONE please buy it (since it’s not exactly within her budget) because it deserves a loving home.

In need of a GREAT playlist?? Jess’ tried and true is the TLC radio on Spotify or the TLC station on Pandora. The whole staff loves it too. It’s fun and singable but an easy listen if you also need to work:)

From Veronica: “My mom gifted me this jumpsuit for Christmas and I basically live in it. It is so cozy and perfect for lounging or working. Plus, it’s 50% off right now!”

From Sara: “THIS HAS CHANGED MY LIFE – and that is not hyperbole. I thought my dry, straw-like hair and incredibly itchy watery eyes (so bad some days that I can’t even wear mascara) were just symptoms of aging. Literally, I just thought my body was getting older and my smooth shiny hair was a thing of my youthful past. I used to be able to let my hair air dry and wear it out as is, but the past few months/last year the texture had changed so much that I was just keeping it back all time (and I thought that was my life moving forward). Then I stayed at a hotel, where after my shower my hair was it’s soft, smooth, air-dryable self. And I didn’t wake up with my eyes red, crusty, and itching. It took me a few weeks to put two and two together, but SOFT WATER, FRIENDS. Emily’s touted the benefits of soft water forever, but her amazing Culligan system isn’t financially affordable for everyone (aka me). Step in my new Aquabliss soft water shower head adapter. Within ONE shower with this bad boy attached my hair was super soft and wore eyeliner to work the next day. Until I can get a self-installed full home soft water system (about $500-$600), this guy is gonna be a lifesaver.”

 

And there you have it. That is all we have for you today, but be sure to come back tomorrow. See you then. xx

The post The Link Up: The Book You Need to Preorder Now, The Jumpsuit Veronica is Living In, & Sara’s Life-Changing Shower Accessory appeared first on Emily Henderson.

My First Foray Into Renting Clothes, With Rent The Runway And Here’s How I Felt About It

In the name of “buying less” we are trying to figure out how to make fashion posts that are less “sell, sell, sell” and more ideas, trend spotting, or reviews. Does that mean we aren’t going to try on and shoot fashion posts with new clothes? Nope. We have a business to run, but we are very happy to promote companies that make dressing up and having fun with fashion more sustainable. So I finally tried Rent the Runway and partnered with them on this post. I thought RTR was mostly renting fancy dresses for cocktail or black-tie occasions. Ultimately a great way to wear a beautiful dress that is typically too expensive for the number of times you would wear it. And it’s still that, but they now have an unlimited monthly program that I tried out.

I chose to rent 4 high-end pieces by some of my favorite designers and I get to try them for a month for $159 ($39 for anything additional) and it was SO MUCH FUN. You can rent them for the month or send back early and trade them out for different pieces. And with the unlimited plan, you can get multiple shipments per month. As in, you could wear something once and send it back to get a new piece if you’ve had your fill of it or it didn’t work out. Also to get you pre excited, RTR is giving all of you probably the most solid deal ever to try it out if you are curious. They are taking off $200 of your first two months of the unlimited plan by using code: RTREMILYH. Ya, I know, it’s good.

So today I’m going to show you what I rented (all styled out) and list out the perks I realized by using this unlimited rental program. I was skeptical. Renting clothes seemed not for me, but it was FUN.

1. You get to rent classic pieces from your favorite brands that are high end, but low impact.

Like in the home, I splurge far more on statement pieces than classics. These days many affordable brands can make a decent denim dress so it’s not where I would spend $600-$800 EVER, but sure I want this one because it is special. I’ve loved the brand Marni forever, and this dress is awesome and classic, but simply put, not worth the retail amount to me. But to be able to rent it for a month will scratch that itch, and make me feel good being in such a tailored high-quality denim dress. Then I’ll try something else next month.

But back to this great dress. The stitching, pockets, zipper, and two-tone denim make it pretty darn special and as you can see it has tiny arms and a really great tailored shift bodice. While this dress is timeless, I don’t have an office job (not really) so the added “personality” is great for a shoot or a special meeting. Plus it’s really nice not to have had to spend a lot of money on it.

2. You get to indulge in a current favorite designer/s.

You know that I love Ulla Johnson, but I’m on a Ulla diet right now. Not a strike. Not a fast. Just abstaining for a while and shifting resources to more important things (kid’s college fund, vacations with Brian, should I get braces?).

By renting I also got to try some of her other pieces that were a bit riskier (like these pants) which aren’t in stores near me. They were NOT GOOD on me, but that dress sure is pretty and kinda like the winter version (because it’s full length:)) of my favorite more summer-y dresses.

Speaking of Summer…

3. You can try riskier trends… go outside your comfort zone a bit because there is a HUGE variety in the inventory.

I love Mara Hoffman otherwise I wouldn’t have risked renting these high waisted floral pants but we all LOVED THEM. I almost wore that outfit to the Goop Lab premiere party but feared it was drawing a bit too much attention. I may have to re-rent these in summer because goodness, these are happy pants.

Also because of what I do, I do need more “photoshoot” clothes which I’m extremely picky about – no small busy patterns (but yes to patterns), no head to toe simple black or super dark outfits (doesn’t pop on camera and often sucks the light and washes me out), and has to be flattering without being tight. I’m not a model, I struggle to find clothes that I feel look good on camera – thus forgiving patterns and fun proportions are where I spend my fashion budget.

Point is – it’s nice to have something new for an occasion or shoot, but not commit to it financially for the rest of my life.

4. You can save on seasonal items that you don’t need year-round.

I really wanted to try this sweater from Alexa Chung but I can never justify expensive sweaters living in LA (thus justifying more fun dresses that I can wear year-round). So I rented this sweater, hoping that by wearing it I would be transformed into her, perfect messy brunette curly hair and all (she started a hair revolution, that chic lady).

I love it. My stylist friend Suzanne doesn’t (see stories). We broke up and she moved out from next door, but I have a fun sweater to wear for a month while I mourn the friendship. The wool of the sweater catches my tears, so very little cleanup!

5. You can get that serotonin rush from shopping without guilt.

I love the Amo jeans I bought last year, very much. So when I saw this silhouette (notice the top of the waist and NO RIPS) I wanted to try it despite my general hesitation of high waisted pants on me. The only downside to these jeans is that Brian’s dad can no longer make his monthly joke about “when I am going to get a job that pays enough to buy jeans without holes.” He’ll have to come up with new material, likely something about puffy sleeves.

I’ve already worn these jeans 3 times and they are no longer in stores, so I couldn’t have tried them on to know how great they are.

6. Lastly and most importantly – You are being more sustainable.

I understand that the most sustainable thing to do would be to wear the same 10 things for the rest of our lives or only shop at thrift stores or vintage. But honestly, that is a hard reality for a lot of us mostly because of time and availability. Fashion is one of the ways I express my creativity, and it has become a fun hobby this year. So this unlimited program made it really easy to shake up what I was wearing, without paying retail pricing. Then after I’ve worn it a few times it simply gets mailed back, returned to the inventory for others to rent instead of in the back of my closet for a year (or worse), and then later potentially end up in a landfill.

So yes, my first rental experience was FANTASTIC.

A few extra tips:

If you have an occasion in a month or even further away, plan ahead because if you are trying to do something for say next week you’ll have less inventory, obviously.
Listen to the sizing recommendations. I thought my size was pretty standard, but on a few things RTR suggested that I size up, which I appreciated.
If you are doing the “unlimited” plan, make sure you select that before you start shopping. This way you are shopping from all the unlimited options. Their entire inventory isn’t included in the “unlimited” plan, but certainly a lot of it is.

All in all I thought that the inventory had so much variety, with a lot of my favorite designers. It came quickly in a really nice black bag (all on hangers) and yes, they cover insurance, shipping, and dry cleaning.

Again if you guys are interested and want to try it out you can get $200 off your first two months of the unlimited plan by using code: RTREMILYH. It’s honestly their best offer ever so this would be the time to give it a go.

Thanks to Rent the Runway!

 

*Photography by Veronica Crawford

**This post is in partnership with Rent the Runway but all words, designs, and selections are our own. Thanks for supporting the brands we love that support the blog.

The post My First Foray Into Renting Clothes, With Rent The Runway And Here’s How I Felt About It appeared first on Emily Henderson.

DESIGN MISTAKE: When to Hire vs. DIY (With Lots of Commentary From Me Based on New Experiences/Mistakes/Horrors)

photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: a refresh of the kid’s room in the mountain house

I get this question A LOT, mostly from friends and family who can’t afford (or don’t want to) hire a designer and contractor and feel like they want to tackle some remodeling projects themselves. Well, I found this in a book called STYLED (you should get it if you don’t have it) and I had totally forgotten about this section. The thing is five years later, with a lot more experience, I had so much to add (or negate) about what I originally said about whether you should hire or could DIY. So below you’ll find the original advice and my current 2020 commentary, with some helpful links to articles if you are doing said project.

Ahem. Here’s what she said…

“In the process of styling your home, you’re probably going to get inspired to tackle a heavy decorating or renovating project. There are some things anyone can do and some things I wouldn’t recommend unless you have plenty of time and are willing to fail a lot before you succeed. Here is a quick guide:”

DIY AWAY
Replacing Dimmers or Upgrading a Light Switch
photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: the reveal of the mountain house kitchen

Then: Definitely something you can do yourself, it’s just a Google search away.

Now: Brian just put in dimmers and replaced out kitchen outlets to add USB things. He’s truly never been more proud of himself for not having to hire a handyman. If he can do it, so can you.

Painting

Then: Do this yourself if you want to spend the time. If it’s just flat prepped walls without a lot of molding or ceiling, then no special skills are needed and any mess-ups are easy to fix. Keep in mind that one room normally takes one day.

Now: I actually LOVE a painting party and think that we should revive them, but for clients we obviously pay a professional. Speaking of painting, here are some of our favorite paint posts: Our Favorite Whites & Gray Paints, Our Go-To Neutral Paint Colors, Our Favorite Non-Neutral Paint Colors, Our Favorite Pastel Paint Colors For Grown-Ups, 12 Bold Blue & Green Paint Colors We’ve Tested, Design Mistake: Paint A Small, Dark Room White

Laying Flooring
photo by tessa neustadt | from: our modern english tudor living room

Then: With a few folks to help, you can do this yourself, but the cuts are the trickiest part. If you have a more straight, square room, you have a better chance. As long as you are comfortable with a table saw and are good with measuring then go ahead. Installer charge anywhere from $1.50 to $3 per square foot, depending on experience and how licensed they are.

Now: OK, last weekend we attempted to lay flooring ourselves for a volunteer project and after 3 hours we had only accomplished one row, literally 12 feet of flooring. We chose the “click” vinyl wood flooring for how “easy” it is, but if your wall isn’t perfectly straight (which most aren’t) then it’s going to be exactly the opposite of easy. We gave up, returned it (thank you Linoleum City for being so kind to take it back) and are opting for either wall to wall carpet or carpet tiles.

That being said… Sara and her boyfriend, brother, and dad all laid the flooring for their house on their own. But her dad had laid flooring before (for his own house) and it still took about three days of nothing but flooring install, a few problem-solving breaks, and was very tedious. So yes, you can DIY but it will take a long time if you haven’t done it before and might be very frustrating.

We hired someone to lay down wood herringbone floors in our LA house and it took way more time than that (and therefore money), but I wrote a whole post about it if you are thinking about doing it yourself.

Staining or Painting Furniture
after photo by veronica crawford | from: how we took a $20 thrifted chair & made it cool again

Then: Do it yourself, unless it’s a serious antique or mid-century gem. Refinishing furniture is just so satisfying; once you try it a few time you’ll master it quickly.

Now: I still totally agree with this. We recently updated this chair and had so much fun.

Painting Tile

Then: You can do it. This is especially successful if you just want a quick update. Don’t buy tile with the intent to paint it; painting is a good “we like the shape just not the color” solution.

Now: Yes, you can paint but definitely do some research (this post just came out and seems thorough, and a few of our readers pulled it off here), and know that walls will hold up better than flooring that scuffs.

DEFINITELY HIRE
Wallpapering
photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: a romantic glam bedroom makeover

Then: It’s not worth the risk and headache, so hire this out. I know people who have done this themselves and they have harrowing stories to tell for the first few times. It’s hard to succeed – there are patterns that need to be matched, seams that need to be cleaned and if you mess it up, it’s really difficult to repair. You might actually lose money on the paper itself. Pricing varies on the experience of the installer but I think you can budget $600 to $1000 a room, and one to two rooms a day depending on how fast he or she is.

Now: I agree, except we’ve done a decent amount of temporary wallpaper installation ourselves, and it’s totally doable. (Check out our romantic glam bedroom, a boho 70s inspired bedroom, this home office makeover, and this sweet nursery for examples of how we’ve used temporary wallpaper. But it will take time (at least a full day with two people). If you are looking for wallpaper we have one of the best online here out there, by the way.

Lacquering Furniture

Then: Now, this is a different beast from painting furniture. For lacquering, the piece has to be sprayed, it needs to be guarded from all dust (like in a tented room or booth), and it requires really long drying times. Hiring this out is expensive (a small side table costs around $100; budget $300-$400 for larger pieces), so make sure you really want that high-end lacquer look.

Now: 100% Still agree, check out why here.

HIRE OR DIY – IT’S A TOSS UP
Skim Coating Your Walls (or Getting Rid of a Texture)
photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: portland reveal: light & bright home office

Then: You can do this yourself but it’s very laborious and messy and you need many special tools. The process involves a combination of plaster the walls and sanding them over and over again. But I know people who have done it themselves for the first time and it worked well. Hiring someone is expensive (because it’s so time-consuming); you can figure a room might cost around $1000.

Now: Please read this post about how we could have saved so much money in Portland by not obsessing with getting flat walls. At the mountain house we painted over the drywall with a spray, then went over it with a hand trowel to give it some texture which saved so much money on making sure that the walls were PERFECT. And it’s so pretty, so please do that.

Painting Cabinets
photo by tessa neustadt | from: the final big kitchen makeover post

Then: This is not difficult, but it is a commitment. There are a few ways you can hire someone to do this. You can get a painter to spray it (not quite as durable but looks good, take only two days, and is a cheaper solution), or have someone properly lacquer, which can take four to five days with drying time (estimate between $1,800 to $3,000 for a kitchen). But if you set aside a few weekends, you can do it yourself. Watch tutorials to make sure that you use the right paint. Remember that you often have to paint the inside too, replace hardware (including hinges), and redrill new hardware, and normally that quote above covers those annoyances, too.

Now: I just want to reiterate how important it is to use high-end lacquer paint for cabinetry and have a professional do it, unless you are very experienced. Our paint is chipping so bad at our LA house and it’s only been 3 years. I have no idea why but yes, I’m frustrated because I thought we hired someone really high-end.

Replacing Light Fixtures
photo by sara ligorria-tramp | from: portland project: the living room reveal

Then: This depends. If it’s just swapping in a new fixture in a new-ish house, that is often pretty easy. Watch some tutorials online. At the same time, there have been so many times my electrician has told me that what he thought would be simple turned into something complicated because older houses sometimes have super-weird wiring. You can often find someone on TaskRabbit or Craigslist who can do this for $50 a fixture (for a simple flush mount). A properly licensed electrician can get expensive, but you’ll know it will get done right.

Now: I’d like to recommend the trade of electrician as a career for anyone that wants to make a lot of money, have very little overhead, work for themselves and not bring any stress home at night. I’m telling you, based on what we paid for and , at $150 an hour (or more) and typically booked on one project for 8 hours a day, this can be seriously lucrative and has a great work/life balance. The electrician we hired in Portland owned 3 income properties and had bought his first one at 28. Also plumbers, though maybe not as glamorous. Or you can just hire Jess, the official EHD in-house electrician, who has installed light fixtures for just about everyone on the team at some point (usually 1am the night before a MOTO photoshoot).

Hanging Art
photo by ryan liebe | from: cup of jo makeover: the living/dining room

Then: You can do this yourself, but if you have the resources (aka the dough), then having a handyman or art hanger install everything is a real treat because the heavier and more important the art, the more you want to make sure that it doesn’t come crashing down.

Now: For all you DIY-ers check out one of our many posts how on how to hang art: Affordable Large Scale Art, Design Mistakes: Generic Art, The 7 Things You Need To Know Before You Try To Hang A Gallery Wall, Think Outside The Frame: Wall Hangings Are The Cure For Your Boring Walls and 15 Ideas For Hanging Art

Upholstering Furniture
photo byzeke ruelas | from: oh joy studio: the living room

Then: You can do dining chairs, benches, and stool types by yourself, but when it comes to anything more major, I’d say hire this out unless you know how to do it and like to take risks. Just like wallpaper, if you do it wrong, then you’ll have wasted too much money on the material.

Now: I wrote a big post about it in 2012 (woah), but more recently I wrote this post about our vintage sectional that was reupholstered.

Hanging Curtains
illustration by jonna isaac | from: hanging curtains all wrong

Then: You can do it yourself, absolutely, but I often don’t because it’s just so strangely hard to get them perfect. Hanging curtains so that they just “kiss” the floor isn’t rocket science, but it is time-consuming and easy to mess up. You need to attach the curtains to the rod and lift it, mark it, and then take it down, take off the curtains, hang the rods, rehang the curtains, blah, blah, blah.

Now: If you want to know our #1 post of ALL TIME, it’s “Hanging Curtains All Wrong” with a how to do it right solutions.

Tiling

Then: You can do it, but I don’t, probably because I have little patience for small measurements. Tiling is tricky unless you have a really simple pattern with tile that doesn’t need to be cut.

Now: I really want to tile myself, and someday I will. But for now we wrote a recent “Tile 101” post and “Tile Rules – 4 things you should know before picking tile.”

Adding Baseboard

Then: If you are comfortable with a table saw, love to measure, and have two weeks to spare, then by all means DIY. My husband, Brian, and his friend have been replacing ours for some time now. It doesn’t take a high level of skill necessarily, but is time-consuming and can be frustrating if the cuts aren’t perfect.

Now: I could never do this due to the importance of “details” and “measurements” but good news, it IS doable. Sara’s brother installed all the baseboards in her house having never done it before. It took a while, along with some plaster to fill in some un-perfect gaps, but it got done.

That concludes our trip down memory lane. I think in general I still feel pretty good about most of the recommendations I made in the book. What’s so great about this site vs. the book is that you all can actually comment and respond to all of these ideas. Please, if you have any personal experiences that can help us all in the “DIY vs. Hire” world then we’d love to read them in the comments.

The post DESIGN MISTAKE: When to Hire vs. DIY (With Lots of Commentary From Me Based on New Experiences/Mistakes/Horrors) appeared first on Emily Henderson.