Margaret Robinson Rutherford's Blog, page 5

432 SelfWork: Doctors and Depression: A Conversation with Dr. Pam Buchanan

Today the focus is on doctors and depression, with Dr. Pamela Buchanan as my guest, in a second episode in the "Careers That Kill" series, discussing medical providers, the pandemic, and depression.����

She's a board-certified physician, speaker and thought leader dedicated to transforming healthcare and championing mental well-being. She���s a TEDx speaker known for her powerful talk on ���Emotional Flatline,��� which explores the emotional toll of the high-stress ER during the pandemic, and the struggle doctors have with depression.��As the author of The Oxygen Mask Principle, Dr. Buchanan teaches self-care as a revolutionary act for working mothers, healthcare professionals, and high achievers.

She's also currently an ambassador with the Lorna Breen foundation that has a focus prevent physician suicide. Recently, she's taken a strong stance that she, as a Black physician, has to prove herself over and over - which is not only unjust, but adds intense pressure to her every day. Still, she's passionate about coaching physicians through burnout so that they can stay in practice.��

Vital Links

Dr. Buchanan runs a wellness and weight loss telemedicine site.��������������

Her website where she can be contacted for coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements

Advertiser's Link:

Click�� HERE ��for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 ��� with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

��

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
* Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

431 SelfWork: Optimism Fatigue: Is It A New Kind of Depression?

What is optimism fatigue? Is it a new a kind of depression?

In this episode of SelfWork, I���m thinking aloud a bit with you ��� if what we���re experiencing is a new kind of depression ��� one that���s mixed in with anxiety and fatigue. What���s it called? Optimism fatigue. It may not be diagnosable, but as I���ve considered my own situation, I realize that I���m having to dig a little deeper to find comfort that I can offer to others. It���s not that I can���t find it. But it���s harder. There���s a big difference between false enthusiasm and true optimism or hope. And I���ll hope that what I���ve learned from research and then, adding in my own two bits, will guide you in your own quest for emotional balance ��� and even optimism.

The listener email for today is from a young woman who���s despairing about the emotional abuse she���s received from several partners ��� yet yearns to create a family with children. I told her that I���d be using her question today so hopefully she���s listening ��� I���ll do my best to give her, and you, some helpful ideas.

Vital Links:

LinkedIn 2020 question from Warren Schlichting

SelfWork episode on languishing

Optimism fatigue versus languishing

Beth Burgess on the difference between optimism and positivity

The "wanting mind" as described by Dharma Wisdom

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

430 SelfWork: What Was Your "Job" In Your Family?

What was your "job" in your family?

Most of us love to take tests like the Enneagram or the Myers/Briggs to find out what the test might have to say about our personality style or our strengths and vulnerabilities. But something you might also gravitate to ��� in thinking about what���s called your family of origin ��� or the family you grew up in ��� is talking about the roles each of the children played in the family - or what was your "job" in your family. The six most commonly agreed upon roles are called Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, Mascot, Caretaker/Enabler and Golden Child ��� and we���ll go through all of these in detail!

So today we���re going talk about the role you played in your family and maybe even the role you���re STILL playing in your family. And��� as always��� what can you do about it if you���re not profiting from it in a healthy way.

The listener voicemail is from a young woman who recognizes her role as ���the golden child��� in her family ��� as the one who can make no mistakes in a parent���s eyes. And her issue with realizing her mom ��� who is working on her own self-improvement ��� treats her sister very differently. And what should she do about that? I���ll have some ideas for her ��� and you.

Vital Links:��

Heidi Priebe's excellent Medium article on jobs children are given in families

Resource with even more "roles" children play

Advertiser's Link:

Click�� HERE ��for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 ��� with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

429 SelfWork: Seven Good Reasons to Stop Therapy

What are seven good reasons to stop therapy? That's the focus of this week's SelfWork!

It���s often a very moving moment when you leave therapy. Here���s someone that you���ve trusted and confided in for weeks or months ��� or sometimes even years. And it���s time to walk out of their office and do without that resource. As��I like to say, it���s my job to do myself out of a job. And I celebrate with people I���ve worked with when they leave to hopefully use the skills learned, and enjoy the feelings of having worked through whatever pain or trauma had been plaguing them.

But there are other good reasons to stop therapy - and we'll talk about seven of them.

Our listener voicemail this week is a bit different; the topic is how to handle your feelings if you���re a caregiver, but the person you���re caring for led a life of self-neglect, which inevitably led to the illness they have now.

Vital Links :

Cathy Sikorski's SelfWork episode

Advertiser's Link and Special Offer :

Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer ��for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

There���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

428 SelfWork: The Shame and Self-Blame Game

The focus today is on what I call "the shame and self-blame game."

One listener told me recently that she wondered for a long time - ���Did I allow my abuse?��� How many of you feel to blame for your own abuse? And does that very shame and self-blame make it even more important to keep what happened secret? You bet it can.��It���s this irrational shame we���re going to tackle. Because you���re looking back on what happened with the eyes of an adult - not through the eyes of the child you were. And that's a very vital distinction.

Our listener voicemail asks a simple question: How can I help my daughter who fits your description of perfectly hidden depression to a tee? I���m so scared for her. It���s a great question because it���s respecting or sensing how difficult it might be for your loved one to look at themselves with compassion.

Vital Links:��

SelfWork Episode: Learning how to feel and release difficult emotions ���

Check out my YouTube channel !

Good Will Hunting YouTube clip

Advertiser's Link:

Click�� HERE ��for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 ��� with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

��

��

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

427 SelfWork: The Horrors of Marital Rape

We���re talking about sexual abuse today ��� to be more specific, the horrors of marital rape. Please if you have any kind of history of abuse which many of you I���m sure do ��� please listen cautiously as the facts of the case could be highly triggering for you. For international abuse hotlines please click here.

You may have heard about the French woman, Gis��le Pelicot, who was the victim of multiple rapes ��� by multiple men including her husband ��� while drugged. This occurred over several years. All men were found guilty.

I know many men who voice their horrors of marital rape, or any sexual violence. And I���ve worked with male victims of sexual abuse. Yet women live with fear every day ��� that the simplest of choices, like turning on a light when you get into your apartment or making a choice to jog a different way home ��� as now, if someone was watching you, they���d know where you live or they���d get you alone. The fear is constant for girls and women, and often occurs in marriage and families.

Our listener voicemail is from someone who finds that she���s mimicking the very harsh anger she���d heard from a parent��- and hated ��� so what���s going on when you begin to do what you don���t want to do or become who you don���t want to be? She���s taken the first step of awareness and hopefully I can suggest the next ones.

Vital Links:

The Independent (Great Britain) article on the Pelicot case/arrest

HuffPost article by a victim of rape in response to the Pelicot case

Guardian article challenging the idea that "rape is more about power than sex"��

Psych Today article in 2022 giving marital rape statistics

Advertiser's Link and Special Offer :

Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer ��for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

There���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com
* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

426 SelfWork: You Only Die Once: A Conversation with Jodi Wellman

You Only Die Once, written by positive psychologist Jodi Wellman, has this very important message - being aware of your last moment can help you live this one more fully.

She's a devout believer in not wasting the time you have, not spending this moment in dread or apathy. Statistically speaking, we're given four thousand Mondays in our lifetime to live. So savoring those moments, realizing that every minute of every day holds meaning, is vital to your happiness.

Both in her book, You Only Die Once, and her TEDxtalk, she uses her quirky humor and very welcome common sense to urge each one of us to live more deeply and die with no regret.

Advertiser's Link:

Click�� HERE ��for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 ��� with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

��

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out NOCD: www.treatmyocd.com
* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

426 SelfWork: You Only Die Once: A Conversation with Jodi Wellamn

You Only Die Once, written by positive psychologist Jodi Wellman, has this very important message - being aware of your last moment can help you live this one more fully.

She's a devout believer in not wasting the time you have, not spending this moment in dread or apathy. Statistically speaking, we're given four thousand Mondays in our lifetime to live. So savoring those moments, realizing that every minute of every day holds meaning, is vital to your happiness.

Both in her book, You Only Die Once, and her TEDxtalk, she uses her quirky humor and very welcome common sense to urge each one of us to live more deeply and die with no regret.

Advertiser's Link:

Click�� HERE ��for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 ��� with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

��

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out NOCD: www.treatmyocd.com
* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

425 SelfWork: Six Steps Out of Loneliness

��Today we���re going to talk about loneliness ��� and how one article I read drew some conclusions about it that made a lot of sense to me. One major point ��� we can���t or shouldn���t harken back to older times and think we need to create those now. That���s not the answer. Cell phones, virtual meetings or classes, working from home, pandemic hangover ��� none of that is going to go away. We���re not suddenly going to help a neighbor raise a barn or birth a baby. So we���ve got to understand there���s no going back and instead look forward to new ideas and solutions to address thie epidemic of loneliness. .

So, what is that solution? I���ll put in my two bits per normal here on SelfWork. And it has to do with not believing your thoughts but realizing that they may be painting a reality that���s simply not true.

Our voicemail today is from a listener in Australia ��� although her home is the US ��� and she describes going through a hard time ��� feeling alone ��� and how one of my podcasts on the good enough parent was helpful to her.

Vital Links:

The New York Times article by Matthew Shaer

Advertiser's Link:

Click�� HERE ��for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 ��� with bonus product with your subscription!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

��

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out NOCD: www.treatmyocd.com
* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

424 SelfWork: The New Feeling Great App! Talking with Dr. David Burns

We're announcing a new CBT app, the��Feeling Great App! ! It's founded by one of the forefathers of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, David Burns MD. He's a renowned psychiatrist, and as we learn in this episode, a doctor who fought the odds to create a technique to treat depression that actually worked.

Dr. Burns is the best-selling author of the books��Feeling Good��and��Feeling Great, which have sold over 7 million combined copies worldwide. Users of the Feeling Great App, have reported a reduction in depressive feelings, on average, a whopping 55%, with similar reductions in anger, loneliness, and other difficult emotions.

Advertiser's Link and Special Offer :

Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer ��for you now!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford.��Subscribe��to��my website��and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you���d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click��here��and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression��is available��here!��Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

There���s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You���ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you���re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I���ll look forward to hearing from you!

��

��

��

��

Our Sponsors:
* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com
* Check out NOCD: www.treatmyocd.com
* Check out Native Path: https://getnativepath.com/selfwork
* Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/SELFWORK


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands