Teela Hudak's Blog, page 40

A Day With the Help Cartoon

This content is for Protege, Partner, Hero, Superhero and Champion members only. Visit the site and log in/register to read.

The post A Day With the Help Cartoon appeared first on Explore Sex Talk.

Consent Made Simple: Episode 6

Consent is an important topic to learn about and there is always more to learn. We continue to define what consent means to us and each other. There are also a lot of different situations that have never really been modeled for people. The purpose of the Consent Made Simple series is to provide examples of positive examples of consent being properly observed from a variety of different situations and viewpoints. These scenarios apply to any person of any gender.

Episode 6

We find ourselves in a bar with lots of people around and talking. One person walks up and offers a compliment and then a very forward and direct way to ask for consent. Would this kind of scenario happen in real life? It could. Would it necessarily end this way? Not always.

There is nothing wrong with being direct in what we are seeking. This kind of approach may be off-putting to some kinds of people but others may find it refreshing and in line with what they are looking for. The biggest and most important part is that consent is obtained and respected.

Learn More About Consent

The discussion around consent is continuing to evolve and change. Society, in general, is developing a stronger understanding and acceptance of the importance of consent but there are still many people that feel lost. Even those who feel like they know everything they need to should keep their mind open to learning more about consent. It’s also really important that we all have a really solid foundation of the basic principles of consent and how they should be applied. Our Consent Crash Course is available to anyone wishes to solidify their foundational knowledge on this important topic.

Enjoyed this article? Join our mailing list for more fabulous articles on sex, sexual health, gender, relationships, and consent. Build your knowledge to improve your sex life and have better relationships. You can also check out what we currently have available for online courses also check out our ongoing and upcoming events. You should also check out our online shop for some unique and special items. We have some thought-provoking as well as scandalously fun stuff there. Lastly, if you’re looking for more fun content, join our Sexy Hero Society for exclusive and excellent content!

The post Consent Made Simple: Episode 6 appeared first on Explore Sex Talk.

The Leap of Love

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Gather the Suffle Puzzle

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Spice Up Your Knowledge of Love, Sex, & Relationships

Enjoyed this game? Join our mailing list for more fabulous articles on sex, sexual health, gender, relationships, and consent. Build your knowledge to improve your sex life and have better relationships. You can also check out what we currently have available for online courses also check out our ongoing and upcoming events. You should also check out our online shop for some unique and special items. We have some thought-provoking as well as scandalously fun stuff there. Lastly, if you’re looking for more fun content, join our Sexy Hero Society for exclusive and excellent content!

The post The Leap of Love appeared first on Explore Sex Talk.

Are You a Good Lover?

What does it take to be a good lover? Most people think they are pretty fabulous in bed but how good are we really? Being good in bed is something we can all strive for. Some of the best lovers are considerate ones who ensure their partner is having a good time as well. No one likes a selfish lover. That being said the same techniques won’t work for everything. Each person has different things that they are attracted to, things they like or don’t, and preferences for different kinds of activities.

So the question remains? Do you think you have the knowledge and skill to be a sex god?

Are You a Good Lover? Take the Quiz!

















When is sex over?








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
When both people are satisfied



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
When a person orgasms



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
When the man ejaculates



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
What do you mean?





Continue >>







How do you know if you're partner has orgasmed?








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
I ask them



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"2"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
I can just tell



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
What's an orgasm?



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
I don't know, I don't usually worry about them





Continue >>







Do you like to mix it up in the bedroom?








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
Hell Yes! Variety keeps things interesting



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
Absolutely as long as my partner is into it



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
I have no idea what you're talking about



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
Ummmm..... that tends to make me nervous





Continue >>







How do you feel about your body?








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
It's best when we keep a cool and wary distance from each other



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
I'm fairly happy with myself, sure there's room for improvement but I like how I look



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"2"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
People should bow down and WORSHIP the perfection that is me!



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
I don't really think about it to be honest





Continue >>







My lover wants "to talk"... I'm totally








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
FREAKED OUT! They are going to break up with me I know it!



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"2"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
ok. I'm sure we will work through whatever it is



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
grateful that they feel they can communicate with me



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
nervous.... that never sounds good





Continue >>







Do you masturbate?








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
When I feel like it



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
Excuse me? That's hardly for you to know!



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
Absolutely not! That's wrong!



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"2"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
All Day... every day!





Continue >>







How long should foreplay be?








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"1"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"2"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
Hours!



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
As long as it needs to be



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
What's foreplay?



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"1"}]
Who needs foreplay? Unless it's oral sex





Continue >>







Porn is the best way to learn how to be good at sex








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
That is where I learned everything I know!



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
It's a great place to get inspiration



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
Porn is disgusting... I can't believe people watch that



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
I feel porn has really taught me alot





Continue >>







Do you do kegels?








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"0"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"1"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
I'm sorry what?



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
I know what they are but I don't think they apply to me



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
Yeah I do some



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
I'm a Kegel MASTER





Continue >>







My partner and I communicate during sex








[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"2"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
Yeah we are totally rocking the dirty talk



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"2"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"0"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"0"}]
We keep communication open & easy so we both can get our needs met



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
Talking just ruins the mood, who needs it?



[{"title":"Sex God","points":"0"},{"title":"Sexy Beast","points":"1"},{"title":"Run of the Mill","points":"2"},{"title":"Cold Fish","points":"2"}]
My partner & I are so in tune, we don't need to talk!





Continue >>







Are You a Good Lover?
Sex God

You are a passionate and considerate lover. When in bed, you care about the pleasure of your partner as much as your own. You are open to communication and experimentation and relaxed and comfortable in your own skin.

Share your Results :

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Are You a Good Lover?
Sexy Beast

You are definitely on your way to becoming a sex god but you're not quite there yet. You have a lot of impressive skills and are definitely better than the average. If you really want to up your game, keep learning about sex and keep communication with your partner open. Otherwise, good job. No cold beds here!

Share your Results :

Facebook
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Are You a Good Lover?
Run of the Mill

According to your results you're an okay lover but you could use some improvement. Don't worry, lots of people fall into the average category. Sex is a pretty taboo topic and many people don't take the time to learn about sex, intimacy, and relationships. The good news is that you have room for improvement. You have the chance to learn more and improve your skills! This is a great chance for you to experiment with things you've always found intriguing and connect with your lover in new ways. Check out our Sex Talk section & our online courses for lots of helpful information. You can also join our Sexy Hero Society to really up your sex game!

Share your Results :

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Are You a Good Lover?
Cold Fish

So it seems to have some sex and communication hang ups. Sex can be a pretty scary subject I know... but the good news is that it doesn't have to be. Many of us weren't taught about sex growing up and have had to haphazardly piece together for ourselves. Thanks to the magical powers of the internet, we can now learn more about sex, intimacy, communication, consent, and relationships in the comfort of our own bedrooms. If you want to up your game, I highly recommend checking out our Sex Talk section for lots of fantastic free information. You can also see what online courses we have available or join our Sexy Hero Society for regular exclusive content to improve your sex life.

Share your Results :

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 PLAY AGAIN !




What Makes A Good Lover?

A good lover is flexible, relaxed, and able to set and respect boundaries. They are good communicators that we feel safe to be vulnerable and intimate with. Good lovers care about the needs of their partner as well as their own. Being a good lover can be a complicated thing because it’s not a one size fits all kind of situation. They carry the knowledge to be adaptable within a variety of situations. We can all benefit by continuing to improve our knowledge about sex, sex education, communication, relationships, and all the things connected to intimacy.

Enjoyed this article? Join our mailing list for more fabulous articles on sex, sexual health, gender, relationships, and consent. Build your knowledge to improve your sex life and have better relationships. You can also check out what we currently have available for online courses also check out our ongoing and upcoming events. You should also check out our online shop for some unique and special items. We have some thought-provoking as well as scandalously fun stuff there. Lastly, if you’re looking for more fun content, join our Sexy Hero Society for exclusive and excellent content!

The post Are You a Good Lover? appeared first on Explore Sex Talk.

What is Emotional Blackmail?

Emotional blackmail is a form of emotional abuse. It’s a powerful type of manipulation where people directly, or indirectly, threaten to punish us for failing to do or give them what they want. It can occur between any two people, regardless of what kind of relationship they have. It can happen between friends, lovers, co-workers, or members of the family.

Emotional blackmail confuses us and plays on our doubts, fears, guilt, and sense of obligation. It exploits our feelings and causes us to feel lost. When emotional blackmailers go to work, it isn’t always easy to see things clearly or for what they are. Emotions are not rational things and emotional blackmail is a way others manipulate our feelings into controlling our actions.

Emotional Blackmail is Like a Heavy Fog

Fog is a perfect way to symbolize emotional blackmail. Our blackmailers turn up the pressure and can push us into a highly emotional state. They press our panic buttons. It’s hard to think clearly when we are in a state of high emotional distress. Our ability to reason or apply logic is muddied. It’s like driving down a dark road with a heavy fog. If you try to turn on the high beams to have better light, the light just bounces off the fog and you still can’t see. It’s hard for us to navigate through and the things we see are always obscured partially by the fog.

Fog is also a useful acronym for what emotional blackmail exploits against us: fear, obligation, and guilt. These are powerful emotions that drive a lot of our actions. We spend a good portion of our lives trying to reduce their impact on our lives. When we can’t, it can create a sense of strong discomfort, anxiety, and insecurity. This leaves us prime targets for emotional blackmail.

Fear & Emotional Blackmail

The things we fear are very personal. Our experiences shape what we fear and we respond accordingly. We avoid certain things, even run from them. We may have a strong emotional reaction or maybe our bodies just go rigid. We build our life and structure it so we can avoid what we fear the most.

It’s common for many people to fear being alone or seen as less by others. It is also fairly common for people to fear anger or making someone angry. All of these things can place in a moment of emotional stress.

Emotional blackmailers can pick up on our fears and use this knowledge to their advantage. They simultaneously put on the pressure onto these fears and also offer to relieve that tension if we give in to their demands.

Obligation & Emotional Blackmail

The majority of people are raised with a healthy sense of obligation. As young children, we start to form ideas on what obligation looks like from watching our parents and other adults in our lives. Our childhood experiences shape our values on what we feel we others and ourselves. It also helps us define what we see as ethical and what duties we should take on.

Emotional blackmailers push the boundaries of the give-and-take interactions most people are used to. They will seek to emphasize their role in your life, what they do for you, and how much they have sacrificed for you. They work hard to create a sense of obligation to them. They feel strongly that you owe them and they rely on your sense of that obligation to fulfill it.

The hard thing about the emotional IOU is that it is never-ending. Blackmailers will never allow the sense of debt to disappear, regardless of how much has been done. The blackmailer will continue to lean on that sense of duty.

Guild & Emotional Blackmail

Guilt is a natural function that leads us to grow as people. It serves to keep our moral compass working. It forces us to re-evaluate our actions if we feel we have violated our own ethics. Guilt can be very helpful to us but it can also be harmful. Sometimes our sense of guilt is too sensitive. We take on too much and our guilt is undeserved. Undeserved guilt has very little to do with us actually have done anything to harm others but relies on us believing that we are responsible.

Emotional blackmailers can capitalize on our guilt. They try to make us believe that we have caused them harm. They make us feel responsible for the pain that they are in so they make it our job to fix it. These kinds of strategies are often effective because on top of creating guilt, it attacks our perception of ourselves that we are caring and supportive people.

Awareness Is the First Step to Stopping Emotional Blackmail

Emotional blackmail is something that usually creeps up on us. Our blackmailers start small and often we don’t always know what’s happening. Our turmoil confuses us. We are lost in that emotional fog. Learning about different kinds of emotional abuse, such as blackmail, is one of the first steps to being able to change what’s happening. If you feel that you have been a target of emotional blackmail, it’s important that you continue to learn more and seek support. Sometimes the support of our family and friends is enough but sometimes we need support from an impartial and professional source. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

Enjoyed this article? Join our mailing list for more fabulous articles on sex, sexual health, gender, relationships, and consent. Build your knowledge to improve your sex life and have better relationships. You can also check out what we currently have available for online courses also check out our ongoing and upcoming events. You should also check out our online shop for some unique and special items. We have some thought-provoking as well as scandalously fun stuff there. Lastly, if you’re looking for more fun content, join our Sexy Hero Society for exclusive and excellent content!

The post What is Emotional Blackmail? appeared first on Explore Sex Talk.

Earn Credits Towards Purchases in Our Online Store

Did you know that we have a rewards program? You can earn credits that can be applied to real purchases in our online store. We strongly believe in giving back to the world and to our community. Our rewards program is meant to cost you nothing at all. It is our gift to you for being interested in expanding your knowledge of sex education, consent, relationships, and all those topics we think are extremely important. The more you learn, the more you are rewarded.

So How Do You Earn Credits?

Well.. earning credits is pretty simple. All you need to do is sign up for a free account. You will be rewarded with 10 credits just for creating your account. Once you have your free account, just make sure you’re logged in when you visit our site.

As you’re logged in and navigate through our site, you will earn even more. You get to earn credits from reading our sex talk topics as well as leaving valuable comments and reviews. We are open to debate on this site and welcome all different perspectives. It is important to note that hate speech or spam comments won’t be tolerated. These kinds of comments will actually reduce your credit balance.

If you choose to purchase any of our online courses, you will also be rewarded with credits. You also get credits for completing the courses you purchase.

The cool thing is that you are even rewarded with credits when you make purchases in our online shop. These credits can be used toward future purchases.

Can Credits Be Redeemed for Cash?

The purpose of our credits is to reward our regular readers for their loyalty and enthusiasm. We believe in trying to create a sense of community and enjoyment in sex education. The credits are our gift to you. So sadly, credits on our site have no cash value beyond toward purchases in our shop.

Consider Joining the Mailing List & Our Birthday Club

If you’re looking for other ways to score some free and awesome stuff, you can consider joining our mailing list. You will be given the chance to tell us a bit more about you and what you’re interests are. Once you have let us know what interests you most, you’ll have the chance to opt into our Birthday Club membership.

The Birthday Club is our email list reward. When you’re signed up, you let us know when you’re birthday is and confirm your current address every year and we will send you a special birthday gift every year at no charge to you. Each year you get something a little different and each year gets a little better. It is our Thank You for being on our mailing list for another year.

Spread the Word & Help Others Earn Credits & Knowledge in Sex Ed

If you think any of our free reward programs are cool, please share it with your friends. The more people benefiting from this, the better!

Enjoyed this article? You can continue to build your knowledge to improve your sex life and have better relationships. You can also check out what we currently have available for online courses also check out our ongoing and upcoming events. You should also check out our online shop for some unique and special items. We have some thought-provoking as well as scandalously fun stuff there. Lastly, if you’re looking for more fun content, join our Sexy Hero Society for exclusive and excellent content!

The post Earn Credits Towards Purchases in Our Online Store appeared first on Explore Sex Talk.

Consent Made Simple: Episode 5

Consent is an important topic to learn about and there is always more to learn. We continue to define what consent means to us and each other. There are also a lot of different situations that have never really been modeled for people. The purpose of the Consent Made Simple series is to provide examples of positive examples of consent being properly observed from a variety of different situations and viewpoints. These scenarios apply to any person of any gender.

Episode 5

This episode opens with a couple in the middle of having sex. One person is clearly enjoying it but the other person starts to withdraw from what’s happening. It doesn’t take long for the first person to notice so they check in. Turns out things are not going well for that second person. They request that the sex stops and that they cuddle. When asked what happened, they indicate that they had gotten into a bad headspace.

Sometimes this can happen for people. How into sex we are feeling is a complicated process dependent on if we are tired, hungry, sick, stressed, or distracted by the never-ending issues that life can present us with. It can be easy for people to slip out of the mood. What’s important when this happens is that we check in with our partner. If we feel we cannot continue, or if they cannot continue, it’s important we respect that and take a step back. It can be frustrating for the person who was still in the mood but no one’s discomfort should be placed below the pursuit of pleasure.

If someone is in a bad headspace, we should make them feel safe, secure, and comfortable. If we do not, we run the risk of sending the message that we only care for ourselves and that their emotional wellbeing is of no concern to us. They may cease to see us as a safe person to be vulnerable to. In the long run, this will not be good for the health of our relationship with this person, regardless of how short or long term it may be.

Learn More About Consent

The discussion around consent is continuing to evolve and change. Society, in general, is developing a stronger understanding and acceptance of the importance of consent but there are still many people that feel lost. Even those who feel like they know everything they need to should keep their mind open to learning more about consent. It’s also really important that we all have a really solid foundation of the basic principles of consent and how they should be applied. Our Consent Crash Course is available to anyone wishes to solidify their foundational knowledge on this important topic.

Enjoyed this article? Join our mailing list for more fabulous articles on sex, sexual health, gender, relationships, and consent. Build your knowledge to improve your sex life and have better relationships. You can also check out what we currently have available for online courses also check out our ongoing and upcoming events. You should also check out our online shop for some unique and special items. We have some thought-provoking as well as scandalously fun stuff there. Lastly, if you’re looking for more fun content, join our Sexy Hero Society for exclusive and excellent content!

The post Consent Made Simple: Episode 5 appeared first on Explore Sex Talk.

The Importance of Communication in Sex

Communication is important in most areas of our life. Can you name one where good communication can’t make an incredible difference? When we are able to communicate clearly, things tend to go a lot smoother. We are able to feel understood, have an easier time getting our needs met, and able to form better connections with those around us.

We are often learning to communicate from primarily from our families. As we grow, we learn other social skills from our peers, our romantic partners, and examples shown to us in media such as movies and TV. Sadly these places are not always the best teachers of how to communicate properly and it’s even worse when it comes to sex and relationships.

Our Early Lessons in Sex & Communication

Most young children are heavily shielded from conversations about sex. It’s considered extremely taboo for children to hear or see anything sexual in nature. There is a fear that early exposure to sexuality will corrupt, confuse, or traumatize young children. Many people have had the experience of walking into a room and having adults hush up immediately. Sometimes we can tell just enough of what they are talking about to know the subject. This can create a sense of awe, secrecy, or shame that becomes associated with sex.

As people grow older, the conversation tends to remain taboo. People become easily embarrassed because they don’t have any good models or how to talk about sex. Their whole life they’ve been shown that it’s taboo and embarrassing. These feelings can be compounded by a lack of proper sex education. Not only have people demonstrated that it’s embarrassing but there can be a huge gap in understanding. People can be so uncomfortable that they don’t even feel comfortable with their own bodies.

Our early lessons in communication around sex have set us up for mediocre, or just plain bad, sex lives.

Bad (Or No) Communication Leads to Bad Sex

It’s a pretty common fantasy that our partners should just be able to read our minds and just know what we want. Some people don’t consider it sexy to have to ask. Others think that it will spoil the mood. The truth is that neither of these things is true. In fact, some people find talking about what they’re doing or going to do, incredibly sexy. It’s often referred to as dirty talk.

But what happens if we go with the silent approach?

Lots of things can arise when people fail to communicate. For starters, consent may not be obtained or if it is, boundaries may be crossed. Two people may not have the exact idea of what sex means. One person may consider anal sex fair game while the other was only thinking oral or vaginal. What if one person considers an aspect of BDSM as a normal part of sex? Talking can create clear boundaries.

Another common thing that can happen when there’s a failure to communicate is fake orgasms. Sometimes people feel a lot of pressure to please their partner. This can go both ways. The person who is performing a sex act on their partner is trying usually trying hard to please them. It can be discouraging and a blow to the ego if they aren’t hitting the mark. The person receiving that attention may also feel pressured to give their partner the satisfying knowledge that they are doing a good job. If the person isn’t comfortable communicating what they want, they may fake pleasure in order to move the activities along. Faking the orgasm not only betrays the trust of the partner but it also increases the chance they are going to go back to the same moves because they were lead to believe it’s what their partner wanted.

We end up with people losing interest and satisfaction in sex. Couples end up having less sex while it increases the dissatisfaction of their time together.

Communication in Sex Increases Our Sexual Pleasure

When we articulate what we want clearly, our partner has the chance to decide if they can and want to meet our needs. It’s an easy step to having more fulfilling and pleasurable sex. We are also teaching our partners to be better lovers for us. In many cases, it can be as simple as letting them know to remain focused on or move away from a certain spot, speed up or slow down, or hit us with some dirty talk.

Being open about communicating our sexual desires can open up some other doors as well. There is a whole wide realm of sexual experience and sensations that people may wish to explore but is not an automatic default for most people. When we can talk openly with our partner, we can talk about exploring some of those desires. It gives couples the chance to try some different things and explore their sexual fantasies. Not only will this lead to more satisfying sex but it can also deepen the bonds of intimacy in the relationship.

Practice Makes Perfect When Talking About Sex

If you’re not used to talking about your sexual desire, it can feel awkward when you first start doing it. The trick is to keep the conversation happening with your partner. Be supportive of each other and keep the conversation as light as possible. This will help encourage you to talk about it more. Practice makes perfect.

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Erotica Slam: That Day

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What is the Morning After Pill?

The morning after pill is a form of emergency contraception. It is used after any unprotected sex takes place. Someone may consider using this to prevent pregnancy if there was a problem with the primary form of birth control, such as the condom breaking, or if a person is forced into unprotected sex.

Emergency contraception is not the same as an abortion. At this point, the egg has not been fertilized by the sperm. The morning after pill is designed to reduce the risk of pregnancy, not abort a current pregnancy. It’s also important to note that emergency contraception will do nothing to prevent the transmission of a sexually transmitted infection.

What Kinds of Emergency Contraception Are There?

The most common form of emergency contraception is the morning after pill. There are a few brands but the most well known is Plan B. Plan B is available over the counter and can be bought without a prescription. It is a tablet that contains 1.5mg of levonorgestrel which is the same ingredient found in birth control pills. It can be effective for up to 5 days after unprotected sex but it’s recommended to be used within 12 hours of intercourse. Plan B is up to 89% effective if it’s taken within less than 3 days of the unprotected sex. It loses its potency and effectiveness as more time passes. This is why it’s recommended to use Plan B as soon as possible for maximum effectiveness.

Another common brand of emergency contraception is Ella. This type is only available with a prescription. Ella may not be recommended for those on a hormonal birth control because it can make both less effective for the person. If this option is chosen, consult with your medical professional about how to proceed with the hormonal birth control. Ella is up to 85% effective and works very similarly to Plan B. One major difference is that the effectiveness of Ella doesn’t decrease over time. It is just as effective on the 5th day as on the first.

Emergency contraception can also be delivered by a Copper intrauterine device (IUD). This can be inserted within 5 days of the unprotected intercourse and is up to 99% effective. Another benefit of this method is that it can be used as a normal method of birth control after it’s in place. Depending on the type of IUD, it can last for up to 12 years. This option is more invasive than a simple pill as the IUD has to be placed inside the uterus.

How Does the Morning After Pill Work?

After intercourse, sperm can live inside the vulva for up to 5 or 6 days. The pill releases hormones that temporarily stop the ovaries from releasing the egg. If the egg is not released, the sperm do not have the chance to fertilize it before they die. If there is no fertilization, there is no pregnancy.

Sometimes it’s too late to prevent the egg from being released. If this is the case, emergency contraception can thin the lining of the uterus, or endometrium, which makes it more difficult for an egg to become fertilized and implant to grow.

Emergency contraception does not cause a miscarriage or an abortion. It does nothing to stop the development of an already fertilized egg. If someone is already pregnant, emergency contraception will have no effect on the pregnancy.

Can the Morning After Pill Be Used as a Regular Birth Control?

It’s not recommended that the morning after pill be used as a primary form of birth control. It is not as effective as other forms of birth control and would also be more expensive. The morning after pill can cost up for $50/pill or more depending on where you are and your medical coverage. This makes other forms of birth control not only more effective overall but also significantly cheaper.

Another reason that the morning after pill shouldn’t be the first choice for regular birth control is the chance of side effects. Some people do experience side effects from using emergency contraception while others may not experience any at all. However, when they are experienced, common side effects can include cramping, spotting, sore breasts, fatigue, headache, belly pain, or dizziness. Other methods of birth control will be less detrimental when used on a regular basis.

Lastly since the morning after pill does nothing to protect people from STIs, another form of safer sex should be considered.

Know Your Options for Emergency Contraception

Avoiding an unwanted pregnancy is all about knowing what your options are and taking the necessary steps. Sometimes stuff happens that is out of your control though, that’s why things like emergency contraception exist. It is the option for when other options are available or fail.

Enjoyed this article? Join our mailing list for more fabulous articles on sex, sexual health, gender, relationships, and consent. Build your knowledge to improve your sex life and have better relationships. You can also check out what we currently have available for online courses also check out our ongoing and upcoming events. You should also check out our online shop for some unique and special items. We have some thought-provoking as well as scandalously fun stuff there. Lastly, if you’re looking for more fun content, join our Sexy Hero Society for exclusive and excellent content!

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