Brendan I. Koerner's Blog, page 95

R.I.P. Barrel Man

We're diehard Indianapolis Colts fans, and thus tend to hate the Denver Broncos with a fiery passion normally reserved for plague rats, ex post facto laws, and Jean-Bédel Bokassa. But we're eternally fascinated by sports fans who undergo tremendous physical discomfort in the name of supporting their side—there is something beautifully transcendent about the practice, which strikes us an American-fried version of sadhu asceticism.

And so tonight we'll pour a little Coors Banquet on the curb...

The Tech of Why You're Fat

The graph above shows the roughly quarter-century trend in America's per-capita fat consumption. To our great non-surprise, we've became rather fond of gorging on foodstuffs that we know to be deleterious to our waistlines, though we're heartened to see that we've recently pulled back somewhat from the Popeyes-related brink.

Perhaps this trend has less to do with willpower, though, than the fact that science has darn nigh perfected the art of deep frying in recent years. Think it's easy to...

The Mathletes' Revenge

We're eternally fascinated by athletes whose skills are so spectacular, the powers-that-be of their respective sports feel compelled to change the ground rules in order to preserve some modicum of fairness. (See: Wilt Chamberlain and the widening of the lane, the recent "Tiger Proofing" of golf courses.) Now something similar is going on in the world of low-brow blackjack, and we must say we sympathize with the small fry on this one:

Grand Victoria Casino and Resort in Rising Sun, supported...

Stealing a Day

We need this afternoon to focus on a secret major project (to be discussed openly in this space soon, or so we hope). Wish us luck in trying to mimic the awesome, borderline hypnotic productivity of the Adept Quattro s650H, without which the world couldn't be suitably awash in Kit Kats.

Psyops on Thin Dead Trees

The advent of electronic media has apparently done little to diminish the use of propaganda leaflets during wartime. Over the first six weeks of the Iraq War, for example, the United States Air Force dropped 31.8 million leaflets, primarily geared toward encouraging conscripts to surrender and oil workers to resist scorched-earth orders. This June 2003 report claims the Iraqi leafleting was a worth the investment, though its evidence is strictly anecdotal. And that got us wondering as to...

The Benefits of Complexity

We recently stumbled across the tale of the Choctaw code talkers, who were briefly employed by the American Expeditionary Force during World War I. Upon learning of their role in the conflict, we immediately wondered why the United States military opted to use Navajos rather than Choctaws during the wider war that followed a quarter-century later. Surely it wasn't with Ben Yahzee's future acting career in mind.

As it turns out, Choctaws were used in limited numbers during World War II, but...

Words to Flail By

A Thursday comment thread led us to unearth a true Web gem: an English translation of the Ruhnama, the textbook authored by the late Saparmurat Niyazov, better known to the world as the megalomaniacal dictator Turkmenbashi. The tome was infamously the only source of history and philosophy instruction for pupils during Turkmenbashi's ruinous reign, a fact which probably goes a long way toward explaining why so many of the nation's young'uns are desperate to study abroad.

Having thumbed...

The Loss of Mike Figgis

On one of our first-ever dates with the Grand Empress, we were smitten by the depth of her hostility toward The Loss of Sexual Innocence, arguably the most annoying, self-consciously bizarre film ever committed to celluloid—and thus prime fodder for the return of our semi-beloved Bad Movie Friday feature.

Now, don't get us wrong—we sorta love the fact that director Mike Figgis chose to go the head-scratching route after the commercial success of Leaving Las Vegas. If he'd so desired, he...

The Immortals of Flesh

We've heard surprisingly little debate about the Meat Industry Hall of Fame's inaugural class. The same folks who spent years droning on about the pass-catching virtues of Art Monk have uttered nary a peep about whether Paul Engler deserved enshrinement in his own version of Canton. And why no wailing and gnashing of teeth over the lack of posthumous love shown to Mahmut Aygun, the man behind the doner kebab?

One inductee we certainly can't argue with, though, is Ray Townsend, without whom...

"Stimulate Your Brain Like a Game of Yahtzee"

We're just absolute suckers for any song that shouts out both Paul Newman and Rick Cerone. A highly recommended gem from the same Diamond D album that gave us the classic "Sally Got a One-Track Mind".