Brendan I. Koerner's Blog, page 93

Back from the Land of Shadows

Upon recently hearing the classic Super Cat track "Scalp Dem" on WeFunk, we were reminded of a curious incident in dancehall history: Super Cat's resurrection from the dead.

Okay, perhaps it wasn't quite as dramatic as alll that. But back in May of 1997, the wire services ran a story stating that Super Cat had been mortally wounded during a Brooklyn holdup. This wasn't mere Jeff Goldblum tomfoolery, but rather a legit news item confirmed by a New York Police Department spokesman. Within...

For the Grand Empress Who Has Everything

Perhaps you think our khanic nature means that we're firm believers in Tengriism, and thus won't be sitting around the Christmas tree come Friday morning. But that's not the case at all—while we do have a soft spot for Umay, we're also big on the holiday spirit. Christmas will be roundly celebrated up here in Atlah, with egg nog and and a Big Wheel for Microkhan Jr.

But what to do about the Grand Empress? We're heading out now to do some last-minute shopping, seeing as how we've yet to buy...

Farewell, Dynamite

Sad news out of Moscow, as word comes that Vladimir "Dynamite" Turchinsky has passed on. For those unfamiliar with the realm of Russian bodybuilding and/or action films, Turchinsky could legitimately lay claim to the title of "The Schwarzenegger of the East," having transitioned from a successful athletic career to . He also had an interesting sideline business in setting Guinness World Records:

[Turchinsky:] is included in the Guinness book of records for pulling a...

The Stickiness of Folkways

A Jamaican doctor has found that an alarmingly large number of her nation's mothers aren't breastfeeding like they should—not because they've been swayed by formula ads, but rather due to the persistence of several toxic myths of indeterminate origin. Chief among these? The belief that "infants needs bush tea to clear their stomach in the mornings."

It's discouraging to note that this is hardly the first time Jamaica's health authorities have raised the red flag regarding the tea myth. Back...

Stallone in Full McBain Mode

We have a complicated relationship with Cobra, and thus hesitated for a beat before deciding to honor it with this week's Bad Movie Friday showcase spot. To its credit, the movie does a fine job of conjuring up a psycho murder cult, the members of which gather in warehouses to bang together axes in rhythmic unison. But Sly Stallone's performance here is beyond unsubtle, and the movie's message deeply odious. The New York Times nailed it back in 1986:

This film shows such contempt for the...

The Toothache Glyph

With all the 2012 hooey certain to kick into ever-higher gear over the coming months, it's worth taking a look back at how we learned of the Mayans' paranoia in the first place. That means checking in with one of the great heroes of hieroglyphics decipherment, Tatiana Proskouriakoff, who first figured out that Mayan stelae were historical chronicles, rather than imagistic prophecy. The Tubes now contain a copy of her milestone 1961 article on the topic, which is a must-read for any and all...

The Pause That RefreshesDetoxes

A debate over the best-ever Coca-Cola slogan recently led us to this useful list, which contains some ad-speak that likely wouldn't pass muster on today's Madison Avenue. Our favorite archaic slogan is the one from 1906: "The great national temperance beverage." This struck us as more than a little humorous, given Coca-Cola's roots as a cocaine-laced wine—one that its creator, John Stith Pemberton, used as a balm for his own crippling morphine addiction:

Pemberton had a personal reason for...

Thanks for Your Patience

Our pressing Wired deadline hits in exactly four hours for now, so we're scrambling. Thanks for putting up with our relative lack of thoughtlessness these past few days—we've had to dedicate the bulk of our mental bandwidth to Kenya-related matters, for the good of the whole Microkhan crew. As we lean for the finish-line tape, please enjoy the classic track above, from arguably the most underrated female rapper in history.

Bulletproof: The Tadtad

Our semi-regular Bulletproof Project today takes us to the southern Philippines, specifically the perpetually conflict-addled island of Mindanao. It is there that a family of quasi-Christian cults collectively known as the Tadtad ("Chop Chop") flourish, and occasionally wreak bloody havoc on the unfortunate populace.

The Tadtad remind us a bit of Uganda's Lord's Resistance Army, in that they've combined Christian doctrine, ancient shamanism, and Fascist radicalism into one awful cocktail...

Kenya, Continued

Still plugging away on the Kenya piece for Wired, so few if any deep thoughts this afternoon. Fortunately, The Tubes provide us with a quick and easy way to keep the Microkhan mojo going—namely, the priceless ad above for C-3PO cereal. This breakfast treat not only further lined George Lucas's burgeoning pockets with cash; it also inspired one of the most touching paeans we've ever encountered. To wit:

I thought I'd feel the same about my miraculously located box of C-3P0's as I did as a...